Comic Book Men s06e09 Episode Script
Karate-Kustomer
1 [rock music.]
- Who would be the best pop culture neighbor to have? Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
- [chuckling.]
- Nice.
- Right? - Well, that means either one of yous is even movin' to Bel-Air, or-or the Fresh Prince is movin' to- Let me put it this way.
Somebody's gettin' a white trash neighbor.
[all laughing.]
What about you, Mike? Uh, Fred Sanford.
- [laughs.]
What? - So you live next door - to a junkyard.
- Yeah.
So my house will look much better by comparison, so I wouldn't even have to, like, mow my lawn ever.
I And I imagine that Lamont is gonna be happy, since his dad's not gonna be callin' him "dummy" anymore.
[all laughing.]
What about you, Ming? I would love to have the Munsters as my neighbor.
I think, you know, Herman you know, if I befriended him and that You know, the family, a little kooky.
- That was the Addams family.
- Yeah, that's- - They were kooky.
- Oh, sorry.
[laughter.]
All together spooky.
All right, according to the theme song, yes.
Altogether hooky, yeah, okay.
- So not the Addams family.
- No.
But what about Thing, the disembodied hand? That would have its benefit to be your neighbor, right? [laughter.]
'Cause you B "Hey, can Thing sleep over, Gomez?" Uh, "Where's Thing?" "It's in Ming's bedroom again.
" [all laughing.]
[heroic music.]
[laughs.]
The Comic Book Men SO6E09 [upbeat music.]
Hello, welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show that put a bounty on the head of Kylo Ren for killing our childhood.
I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Anything unusual come through the doors this week? Without a doubt, the coolest toy ever came into the Stash.
- How you doin'? - How you doin', guys? Fan of robot villains? - Oh, who isn't a fan of this robot villain, huh? That is Bandai's 1/100 scale Mechagodzilla '74 remote control.
- 1/100 scale? - 1/100 scale.
So a hundred of these would equal - The actual Mechagodzilla.
- The actual Mechagodzilla.
- Yes.
- How- Do you have 99 more? - Yeah.
- [laughing.]
[chuckling.]
That is the most impressive toy I've ever seen.
It's a piece of art.
How big a fan were you of, uh, "Godzilla vs.
Mechagodzilla"? It was everything that a kid could ever ask for in a movie.
The evil version of Godzilla, controlled by aliens.
Pure bliss.
When they introduced him, he was wearin' the you know, had the outside flesh of Godzilla, but then it was torn off, and this was revealed.
I don't know if there's a better reveal in-in cinematic history.
Maybe "The Crying Game," but, uh, I-I- [laughter.]
I still put this on top, though.
- Oh! Well, that's an unusual one.
[all laughing.]
Say more surprising, maybe, than better.
[all laughing.]
A robot Godzilla.
I mean, it doesn't get any better than that for me.
Toho created Godzilla, and they created all those movies.
Do you think one day, they were sittin' around the room, and they were just like [snaps fingers.]
Robot Godzilla, and they were like, "Aw, start spendin' the money.
" [all laughing.]
They mecha'd Kong as well.
You could mecha anything, man.
Mecha Bry.
[laughter.]
Mm, wouldn't be as cool, right? Ironically, he'd be sunnier.
[all laughing.]
Can you give us a demonstration? Sure, glad to.
- Gonna - I'm gonna come out from behind here, man.
- All right.
- I want to get it I want to see it in all its glory.
Thank you, Ming.
Antenna up.
Switch on the side to kick on the remote, and you hit the start button.
- Oh! - [laughing.]
Oh, look at the hands spin.
- This is all in Japanese, so it's basically just a best guess.
Oh, well, that's- - Oh! - There's the head spin.
Wow.
[toy whirring.]
And-and it's got the sounds.
Let's see.
Let's try another.
- Oh, there's the- - Wow.
- There's the chest pane.
- [laughing.]
It's armed to the teeth, man.
I'm in love.
I mean, it-this is- this is the greatest Godzilla piece of merch I've ever seen.
Please tell me you're here to sell it.
Yeah.
I mean, it was gorgeous.
Had lights, sound.
It could move.
Did it make the Mechagodzilla sound? - Yeah.
- Make the Mechagodzilla sound.
[stammers.]
[all laughing.]
I can't make it.
I mean, but, boy, if you This is our impressionist right here.
Can you make the Mechagod Like [imitating Mechagodzilla.]
- Like - That's not bad.
- That was one of 'em, right? - Yeah.
That sounded like a little dog.
[imitating little dog.]
[all laughing.]
So how much you need to get for it? Well, I know there's no more than 500 were made.
Probably somewhere between 50 and 100 worldwide available.
Um, I'm thinkin' around seven.
- $700? Sold.
- Uh, no.
$7,000.
- $7,000? - $7,000.
Oh, my goodness.
Uh, 7K.
So I mean, is there any possibility you could do $3,000? I could come down to maybe $6,500.
$4,000.
Walt, I just can't do it, man.
I just-I just can't let it go for that.
- You're in love.
- I'm that's I am.
- I really am.
- I mean I can tell.
- Yeah.
- All right, well, thank you for bringin' it in, man.
I mean, easily the coolest item that's ever come through the door, man.
No problem.
Someone told me this is the place to go - if you need rare memorabilia.
- Wait a second.
- You're - you're Ralph Macchio, right? - Yeah-uh, yeah.
- I noticed.
Nice to meet you guys.
- Big Captain Planet fan? - Yes.
Wow.
He's a man from the '90s, right? It looks like he got hockey hair.
[laughing.]
How's puttin' all the reservist needs on the computer goin'? Good.
I'm just about done.
I've got about six more guys to do.
- Oh.
- I'm getting close.
I'm impressed.
- Hey.
- Hey, how you doin'? - Good.
Uh, someone told me this is the place to go if you need, like, rare memorabilia.
I'm lookin' for, like, a an action figure set.
Wait, wait, wait a second.
I'm Do you know who this is? You're you're Ralph Macchio, right? Yeah-uh, yeah.
I noticed.
All right, nice to meet you guys.
I I'm speechless.
This is- - Ralph Macchio, yeah.
- Macchio.
[laughing.]
Oh, my God, we love we love your films.
Right, I mean, "Karate Kid.
" Tell him.
- Yeah, yeah, we're - Yeah, tell me.
Tell me now! Rolling in your Kar "Karate Kid," "Outsiders," "Crossroads.
" You you're - "My Cousin Vinny.
" - "My Cousin Vinny.
" - Oh, my God.
- Good.
Good, good resume.
[all laughing.]
Daniel LaRusso came to the Secret Stash.
- He did.
- That's pretty dope, man.
Like, hav-having seen that movie and its sequel and the third one as well, man.
I was in for all of them.
I was on the adventure with Daniel and Mr.
Miyagi.
[all laughing.]
Someone said to come here if you're lookin' for a rare item.
If you're lookin' for rare toys, the Secret Stash is the place.
- Right.
- What are you lookin' for? A lot of the films I did, I kept, like, props from the movies and stuff like that, and so as I'm getting older, I want to I want to grab some of the memorabilia that's still out there that's goin' away.
I'm lookin' for this action figure set.
It's from "The Karate Kid.
" Uh, it's called the Competition Center.
The coolest thing about this thing, it's got the referee.
Everyone says it's, like, the most rare thing, so I figure, let me come in here and give it a shot.
- Do you have it? - We don't have it.
[laughter.]
- So We don't happen to have that right now.
Could you point me in the right do you know of another place that has that kinda stuff? No need, 'cause we can find it for you.
I got a guy who can find anything.
You got you got a couple seconds? - You got a guy? - I got a guy.
- I love that.
- [laughing.]
Am I in New Jersey? Of course I am.
You got a guy.
We don't want to have any Stash customers leave disappointed, let alone a Ralph Macchio, right? Yeah, let alone one that could crane kick your ass.
[all laughing.]
But I figured if this "Karate Kid" play set is anywhere in New Jersey, there's only one guy that I should call to find the piece for me.
Ah, the Mr.
Miyagi [laughter.]
Of the collectible world, if you will.
Ah, Rob Bruce.
[all laughing.]
It's the "Karate Kid" Competition Center.
Yeah.
It's for Ralph Macchio.
[snickers.]
Listen, listen, they had a couple different ones, but it's gotta be the Competition Center one.
- With the referee.
- With the referee.
It's gotta have if it doesn't have the referee- - Did you hear that? Yes.
- I got the other ones.
- I know it's - I know it's his voice.
I know.
[laughs.]
All right, yes.
All right.
Do you have an hour to spare? You know, look around, you know? You got an hour? Hang out with you guys for an hour? - Yeah, if you want.
- All right, I'll hang out with you guys for an hour.
You if you deliver the toy.
All right, he's already on it.
He already hung up on me.
- All right, great.
Great.
- He's already out - lookin' for it.
- Oh, man.
I got I got I got three witnesses.
And this is awesome, to have a Jersey guy at the Stash lookin' to buy this.
It's funny, you know, you think I'm everybody thinks I'm from Jersey.
I don't mean to burst your bubble, but I'm from, uh, the other side of Manhattan, Long Island.
- Aww.
- See, what happens is, people blur the Daniel LaRusso character.
They blur-he's from Jersey.
Everybody thinks I'm from Newark.
And I drive a green station wagon.
[laughter.]
Or my mother drives a green station wagon.
So you know, they'll yell out "LaRusso," and I'm like, "Eh, not really, not really.
Not really.
" So you don't have any martial arts moves or anything? Oh, man, I'll slip a disk.
That was a-those are long gone.
[laughter.]
Or let's put it this way, when they- when they stopped payin' me, I stopped kickin'.
I don't know.
Do you know anything - about martial arts? - I know nothing.
- You know, I grew up in Asian.
- Right.
Bingo.
So we we speak the same language - Oh, absolutely.
- When they come up to you.
Like, "Show me whatever.
" "I don't know.
" You pretended you knew karate, right? - You said when you were little? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, you could always do that.
You always have that.
You just take - if you just learn a good stance.
- Oh, yeah, I I fake the Come on.
Let's see your stance.
Oh, I would copy one from the movie, - like, you know, like - Yeah.
[laughter.]
- He looks like - Constipated.
- Constipated.
- I wouldn't constipate it.
And he's got the kung fu grip goin' on there.
- Right, exactly.
- It's, like, weird.
Honestly, one of the hundred greatest moments in cinematic history is Daniel LaRusso crane-kickin' Johnny out in the ring.
It is a moment captured so well.
The exuberance, the joy, of all involved.
The moment he jumps into this- No mercy! Raise your fists, Johnny! Finish him! I get, like, chills.
I get almost glassy thinkin' about it.
When he jumps into this, and everyone's just lookin' at him, we all know.
We're like, "He's gonna kick him in the [bleep.]
face!" [crowd cheering.]
[all laughing.]
If you want to preach like Captain Planet - [giggles.]
- You gotta walk the walk.
- Uh, Ralph, he's here.
- Hey, Walt.
- He said he had a guy.
- Yeah? He's got a guy.
And here's the item.
I've always wanted to know, in that scene in "Karate Kid" where you caught the flies You ever catch one? Not yet.
How was it done? That's a good question, 'cause that that was-you know, it was before CGI, right? So they must've set that scene up six or seven times, and we tried it different ways.
We put one where we put it in there, and I had to react, like, backwards.
Like, we started with the fly in there, and then I'd have to watch it go away.
And when they played it back, it was just, like, the worst backward acting [laughter.]
You could ever imagine.
And so the still photographer on the set had the ability to catch a fly with his hand, and they would take monofilament- like, thin, thin fishing line- and he would actually lasso these live flies, and I would try to grab this monofilament string and slide down.
I decapitated at least three of 'em.
[all laughing.]
As time went by, the weight of the string was slowing down this fly.
- By the end, he was just - [laughter.]
Wings out, just like, "Find the next fly.
" In one shot, I catch it, and the- the fly's at the end- Hey, hey! Hey, Mr.
Miyagi, look.
Hmm.
So that's-that's that story.
So there's a little exclusive, fly-catching exclusive.
- All right, have a great day.
- Thanks a lot.
Thanks.
[register drawer closes.]
- Hello.
- Hi, how are you? Good.
What can we do for you today? Do you guys by any chance have Captain Planet comics? Captain-wow.
I haven't heard that in a long time.
- We may have some Captain Planet in the basement.
You want to go check it out? - Yeah, I'll go-I'll go check.
Thanks.
- Big Captain Planet fan? - Yes.
I grew up with that show, and I currently work at a library, and I thought it would be a good idea if I could donate comics and educate the kids that come in about saving the planet.
That's right, Captain Planet was an-an eco-superhero.
- Oh, we had some.
- Found some down there.
- Oh, this is perfect.
- Ooh, a number 1 too.
- Yeah.
- Wow.
He's a man from the '90s, right? It looks like he's got hockey hair.
[laughter.]
But what I want to ask you, as someone who's a big fan, do you utilize the lessons you learn from watching "Captain Planet" today? Do-do you do things differently? Oh, yes.
That's a very big thing for me.
How's your carbon footprint? You got a Prius? [laughing.]
No.
- He's got a Prius.
- He has a Prius, - and he hates the environment.
- Yeah.
Man, you want to preach like Captain Planet, you gotta walk the walk.
Hold on.
You got that Prius to save money on gas.
You didn't get it 'cause you cared about the environment.
All-all those Coke cans you drink? Don't I see you just chucking 'em in the garbage? - Yeah.
- I don't see you recycling.
Who cares about bauxite? [all laughing.]
Nowaday, it's trendy, but I remember a man who was conscious of our planet's needs when it wasn't trendy.
Are you talking about Captain Planet or someone else? Talkin' about Bryan Johnson.
- Oh.
- The original tree hugger.
That's right.
In our group, you were the most eco-conscious.
He would shame me for throwing cans out in-in my garbage, right, in front of my wife.
[all laughing.]
Yeah, I was very into it.
Like, adopting acres of rainforest.
- [laughing.]
- Like, helping out elephants oh, that's a riot, right? Wait, at one time you had a soul? [laughter.]
This was- You were big into saving things.
Until you gave up, and then, like, "I don't care.
- Let 'em all go.
" - Yeah.
That's why we need Captain Planet back, right? [all laughing.]
You said that you're a librarian? - Yes.
- Could you think you could give him some pointers? 'Cause he's got a devil of a time trying to restock and reorder the books.
What's your advice for improving on his stupidity, is what he's asking.
It's not stupidity.
Our-our system's even more ancient than the-the card catalog.
[all laughing.]
All right, so let's see what, uh, issues we got here.
We got number 1.
First appearance in comic book form of Captain Planet.
Number 2, he's fighting a pollution dragon.
- Number 3.
- Getting chased down by what appear to be rabid animals.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's her team, leading the charge.
Here's one-now, I mean, savin' the dolphins, man.
- Number 9.
- Ooh.
Poor Captain Planet looks like he just had to fly out of a cesspool.
And number 11.
Probably the best cover of the lot.
All the rings comin' together to form Captain Planet.
We're missin' a couple, but it's a- it's a nice little run.
Definitely.
What are you looking for for these? Uh.
They must command a high price, being down in the basement, I'm sure.
We realize, you know, I mean, not a lot of people comin' in for Captain Planet.
For the whole lot, $10.
- $10, really? - Yeah.
All right, sounds like a good deal to me.
- All right.
- Sold.
[giggles.]
- Oh, nice.
I'm sure kids at the library are gonna be very happy to read those.
Power is yours, guys.
Thank you.
I feel like I did something here to help the environment by sellin' those comics, right? Were were they on recycled paper? - I don't think so.
- No, I'm just-without me, those kids might not have gotten to read those books at the library and grown up to be green and clean.
Right, it's not about the librarian at all.
- It's all about you.
- Yeah, hey, good job.
- Good job, man.
- Good job.
- You're a hero.
- Captain Planet right here.
[all laughing.]
There you go.
There you go.
- Wax on.
- Clockwise.
- Okay.
Counterclockwise.
- Then wax off.
Look at that, you could chew bubblegum and walk - at the same time.
- Oh, let's not get crazy.
I just got a text from Robert.
He's got the Competition Center, and he'll be here in 20 minutes.
All right.
All right.
- I told you.
- The man delivers.
While-while you're here, and I know this sounds weird, but "Karate Kid" had all that martial arts philosophy, accomplishing bettering yourself through mundane tasks.
Um, you know, I kinda do a lot of mundane tasks around here.
I'm stocking shelves.
I'm folding shirts.
I'm wiping down this counter.
Is there any of that martial arts philosophy you might be able to imbue on me? Maybe-maybe, you know, help me do a better job here? Can you can you better yourself through mundane conversation? [all laughing.]
We're gonna call him Ming-yagi.
How's that? How's that? How cool was it to have the Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio, at the Stash at our disposal, just to pepper him with so many questions like that? It it was amazing.
Never did I think I would see the day.
And-and-and I got a new, cool nickname now: Ming-yagi.
Really? I like your old nickname better: asshat.
[laughing.]
Didn't have quite the same ring, but [all laughing.]
I know it sounds ridiculous, but I I mean, take this counter, for example.
I'm-I'm always having problems keepin' it clean.
These guys are always putting fingerprints on it.
You know, I know you did the you know, there's the wax on, wax off, and- and in the movie, you know, I know it- it was very specific.
Wax on.
Right hand make a circle.
Wax off.
Left hand circle.
- Which way to do it - Now which was-which hand was on, and which one was wax off? I think if if I remember correctly - Go ahead.
- I believe this was on, right? And this was off.
Am I right? No, you had a 50/50 shot, and you blew it.
I blew it? It was this one? - You blew it.
- Okay, see, this is - Hold on, hold on, here.
- I'm right-handed.
- Show him.
- There you go.
I know it was just a movie, but while I had him in front of me, I- I-I thought maybe he could, you know, teach me the technique of, uh, you know, waxing on and waxing off.
Maybe some of the stuff that he learned from the master Mr.
Miyagi in the movie.
I'm sure he was like, "This is worse than gettin' my leg swept.
" [all laughing.]
- Okay, this is wax on.
- Right.
And then you go wax off with this one.
- And the-this-this- - Counterclockwise.
- This way? Counterclockwise.
- No.
- Here, here.
- Okay.
- Oh, oh, oh.
- [laughing.]
- Don't get excited, now.
- Okay, okay.
- So you go-you go - Okay.
- There you go, clockwise.
- Okay, wax on.
Okay.
And wax off, let's see what you do.
- I - both: Counterclockwise.
Look at that, you could chew bubblegum and walk at the same time.
Oh, let's not get crazy.
You can't do it at the same time? So how we doi" on that 20 minutes? [all laughing.]
Look.
Look at how clean this is.
It was beyond cringeworthy.
I mean, you just wanted so badly for him to say the phrase, "Wax on, wax off," that you came up with some harebrained scheme as, like, you couldn't keep the counter clean.
I think he thought you were simple.
[laughing.]
He was right.
[all laughing.]
Oh, he's here.
Uh, Ralph.
- Yeah? - He's here.
- Hey, Walt.
- Oh, hey, hey, hey.
- Good job.
- Sorry it took me so long, man.
It's okay.
- Huh? - How you doin', man? Hey, Robert Bruce.
- This is awesome.
- How are ya? - He said he had a guy.
- Yeah.
He's got a guy.
And here's the item.
That's crazy.
The reason why I needed this one with the-first of all, there's not many of these, right? - No, impossible.
- I mean, you'll attest to that.
But-but the thing this referee first of all, it-it cr- it cracks me up, because he's in a white shirt when in the movie, - he was wearin' what color shirt? - Red.
Red shirt.
All right, good.
I like-I like the little classroom things.
- Raise your hand first next time.
- I'm sorry.
- Raise your hand.
- I'm sorry.
I'm just I'm excited.
- But, um, this character was played by Pat Johnson, who did all the fight choreography in the movie, so any of the fight scenes that were done in the movie, it was choreographed by him.
He was our stunt coordinator and, uh, martial arts guru, and- Only way you could get his figure too.
- This was-yeah, see how they have- oh, the got the whole ch- crowd cheerin'.
Oh, they cut - you could actually cut it out.
I mean, I wouldn't touch it, man.
I'd leave it like it is.
Let-let my grandchildren, uh, cut it up and-and use it.
I'm so lucky.
This is awesome, man.
This is a home run.
What do I owe you for it? Well, it took me some time to find it.
I had to-gas and tolls, and I'd like to get, uh, $320.
- All right.
- Come on, Robert.
- Seriously? - His face is on the box.
I mean, I'm I'm not including my fee.
You know, usually I have a fee for running around.
All right, listen, guys- guys, I came in to get this.
Whatever it is, it is.
- But still.
- I mean, it's a-it's a- - What? - You know, you gotta do - better than that.
I mean - All right.
Come on, look who you're sellin' it to.
- All right, I mean, Walt's - Walt's house.
It's factory sealed.
I could do $300.
I know you can do better than that.
Listen, $300's fine.
No, no, no, no.
Walt's right.
- Do a little bit better.
- Walt's 100% correct.
So $250 would be, like, my rock.
- $250.
That - That'll make it $10.
Listen, this is a home run for me.
We've had fun for 58 minutes.
[all laughing.]
$250's fair.
$250.
Lunch in Jersey right here.
For me.
I don't know- - I'm not bringin' everybody.
- Aww.
It was a pleasure to have you here.
This is awesome, man.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Thanks very much.
- See you later, man.
- All right, thank you.
- Thank you.
- You got it.
Thanks, guys.
Where do you get off tryin' to charge him tolls and gas when everyone knows you ride a bike? [all laughing.]
A boy plays a legend.
A boy becomes a man.
That man comes into our store, and you helpin' findin' somethink from when he was a boy.
That's circle, all circle right there.
antian easter filosofy, right? Well, we have a good time wax on, but is time to wax off.
From Comic Book Men.
I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Strike hard.
Strike first.
No mercy, sir.
Good Night.
- Who would be the best pop culture neighbor to have? Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
- [chuckling.]
- Nice.
- Right? - Well, that means either one of yous is even movin' to Bel-Air, or-or the Fresh Prince is movin' to- Let me put it this way.
Somebody's gettin' a white trash neighbor.
[all laughing.]
What about you, Mike? Uh, Fred Sanford.
- [laughs.]
What? - So you live next door - to a junkyard.
- Yeah.
So my house will look much better by comparison, so I wouldn't even have to, like, mow my lawn ever.
I And I imagine that Lamont is gonna be happy, since his dad's not gonna be callin' him "dummy" anymore.
[all laughing.]
What about you, Ming? I would love to have the Munsters as my neighbor.
I think, you know, Herman you know, if I befriended him and that You know, the family, a little kooky.
- That was the Addams family.
- Yeah, that's- - They were kooky.
- Oh, sorry.
[laughter.]
All together spooky.
All right, according to the theme song, yes.
Altogether hooky, yeah, okay.
- So not the Addams family.
- No.
But what about Thing, the disembodied hand? That would have its benefit to be your neighbor, right? [laughter.]
'Cause you B "Hey, can Thing sleep over, Gomez?" Uh, "Where's Thing?" "It's in Ming's bedroom again.
" [all laughing.]
[heroic music.]
[laughs.]
The Comic Book Men SO6E09 [upbeat music.]
Hello, welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show that put a bounty on the head of Kylo Ren for killing our childhood.
I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Anything unusual come through the doors this week? Without a doubt, the coolest toy ever came into the Stash.
- How you doin'? - How you doin', guys? Fan of robot villains? - Oh, who isn't a fan of this robot villain, huh? That is Bandai's 1/100 scale Mechagodzilla '74 remote control.
- 1/100 scale? - 1/100 scale.
So a hundred of these would equal - The actual Mechagodzilla.
- The actual Mechagodzilla.
- Yes.
- How- Do you have 99 more? - Yeah.
- [laughing.]
[chuckling.]
That is the most impressive toy I've ever seen.
It's a piece of art.
How big a fan were you of, uh, "Godzilla vs.
Mechagodzilla"? It was everything that a kid could ever ask for in a movie.
The evil version of Godzilla, controlled by aliens.
Pure bliss.
When they introduced him, he was wearin' the you know, had the outside flesh of Godzilla, but then it was torn off, and this was revealed.
I don't know if there's a better reveal in-in cinematic history.
Maybe "The Crying Game," but, uh, I-I- [laughter.]
I still put this on top, though.
- Oh! Well, that's an unusual one.
[all laughing.]
Say more surprising, maybe, than better.
[all laughing.]
A robot Godzilla.
I mean, it doesn't get any better than that for me.
Toho created Godzilla, and they created all those movies.
Do you think one day, they were sittin' around the room, and they were just like [snaps fingers.]
Robot Godzilla, and they were like, "Aw, start spendin' the money.
" [all laughing.]
They mecha'd Kong as well.
You could mecha anything, man.
Mecha Bry.
[laughter.]
Mm, wouldn't be as cool, right? Ironically, he'd be sunnier.
[all laughing.]
Can you give us a demonstration? Sure, glad to.
- Gonna - I'm gonna come out from behind here, man.
- All right.
- I want to get it I want to see it in all its glory.
Thank you, Ming.
Antenna up.
Switch on the side to kick on the remote, and you hit the start button.
- Oh! - [laughing.]
Oh, look at the hands spin.
- This is all in Japanese, so it's basically just a best guess.
Oh, well, that's- - Oh! - There's the head spin.
Wow.
[toy whirring.]
And-and it's got the sounds.
Let's see.
Let's try another.
- Oh, there's the- - Wow.
- There's the chest pane.
- [laughing.]
It's armed to the teeth, man.
I'm in love.
I mean, it-this is- this is the greatest Godzilla piece of merch I've ever seen.
Please tell me you're here to sell it.
Yeah.
I mean, it was gorgeous.
Had lights, sound.
It could move.
Did it make the Mechagodzilla sound? - Yeah.
- Make the Mechagodzilla sound.
[stammers.]
[all laughing.]
I can't make it.
I mean, but, boy, if you This is our impressionist right here.
Can you make the Mechagod Like [imitating Mechagodzilla.]
- Like - That's not bad.
- That was one of 'em, right? - Yeah.
That sounded like a little dog.
[imitating little dog.]
[all laughing.]
So how much you need to get for it? Well, I know there's no more than 500 were made.
Probably somewhere between 50 and 100 worldwide available.
Um, I'm thinkin' around seven.
- $700? Sold.
- Uh, no.
$7,000.
- $7,000? - $7,000.
Oh, my goodness.
Uh, 7K.
So I mean, is there any possibility you could do $3,000? I could come down to maybe $6,500.
$4,000.
Walt, I just can't do it, man.
I just-I just can't let it go for that.
- You're in love.
- I'm that's I am.
- I really am.
- I mean I can tell.
- Yeah.
- All right, well, thank you for bringin' it in, man.
I mean, easily the coolest item that's ever come through the door, man.
No problem.
Someone told me this is the place to go - if you need rare memorabilia.
- Wait a second.
- You're - you're Ralph Macchio, right? - Yeah-uh, yeah.
- I noticed.
Nice to meet you guys.
- Big Captain Planet fan? - Yes.
Wow.
He's a man from the '90s, right? It looks like he got hockey hair.
[laughing.]
How's puttin' all the reservist needs on the computer goin'? Good.
I'm just about done.
I've got about six more guys to do.
- Oh.
- I'm getting close.
I'm impressed.
- Hey.
- Hey, how you doin'? - Good.
Uh, someone told me this is the place to go if you need, like, rare memorabilia.
I'm lookin' for, like, a an action figure set.
Wait, wait, wait a second.
I'm Do you know who this is? You're you're Ralph Macchio, right? Yeah-uh, yeah.
I noticed.
All right, nice to meet you guys.
I I'm speechless.
This is- - Ralph Macchio, yeah.
- Macchio.
[laughing.]
Oh, my God, we love we love your films.
Right, I mean, "Karate Kid.
" Tell him.
- Yeah, yeah, we're - Yeah, tell me.
Tell me now! Rolling in your Kar "Karate Kid," "Outsiders," "Crossroads.
" You you're - "My Cousin Vinny.
" - "My Cousin Vinny.
" - Oh, my God.
- Good.
Good, good resume.
[all laughing.]
Daniel LaRusso came to the Secret Stash.
- He did.
- That's pretty dope, man.
Like, hav-having seen that movie and its sequel and the third one as well, man.
I was in for all of them.
I was on the adventure with Daniel and Mr.
Miyagi.
[all laughing.]
Someone said to come here if you're lookin' for a rare item.
If you're lookin' for rare toys, the Secret Stash is the place.
- Right.
- What are you lookin' for? A lot of the films I did, I kept, like, props from the movies and stuff like that, and so as I'm getting older, I want to I want to grab some of the memorabilia that's still out there that's goin' away.
I'm lookin' for this action figure set.
It's from "The Karate Kid.
" Uh, it's called the Competition Center.
The coolest thing about this thing, it's got the referee.
Everyone says it's, like, the most rare thing, so I figure, let me come in here and give it a shot.
- Do you have it? - We don't have it.
[laughter.]
- So We don't happen to have that right now.
Could you point me in the right do you know of another place that has that kinda stuff? No need, 'cause we can find it for you.
I got a guy who can find anything.
You got you got a couple seconds? - You got a guy? - I got a guy.
- I love that.
- [laughing.]
Am I in New Jersey? Of course I am.
You got a guy.
We don't want to have any Stash customers leave disappointed, let alone a Ralph Macchio, right? Yeah, let alone one that could crane kick your ass.
[all laughing.]
But I figured if this "Karate Kid" play set is anywhere in New Jersey, there's only one guy that I should call to find the piece for me.
Ah, the Mr.
Miyagi [laughter.]
Of the collectible world, if you will.
Ah, Rob Bruce.
[all laughing.]
It's the "Karate Kid" Competition Center.
Yeah.
It's for Ralph Macchio.
[snickers.]
Listen, listen, they had a couple different ones, but it's gotta be the Competition Center one.
- With the referee.
- With the referee.
It's gotta have if it doesn't have the referee- - Did you hear that? Yes.
- I got the other ones.
- I know it's - I know it's his voice.
I know.
[laughs.]
All right, yes.
All right.
Do you have an hour to spare? You know, look around, you know? You got an hour? Hang out with you guys for an hour? - Yeah, if you want.
- All right, I'll hang out with you guys for an hour.
You if you deliver the toy.
All right, he's already on it.
He already hung up on me.
- All right, great.
Great.
- He's already out - lookin' for it.
- Oh, man.
I got I got I got three witnesses.
And this is awesome, to have a Jersey guy at the Stash lookin' to buy this.
It's funny, you know, you think I'm everybody thinks I'm from Jersey.
I don't mean to burst your bubble, but I'm from, uh, the other side of Manhattan, Long Island.
- Aww.
- See, what happens is, people blur the Daniel LaRusso character.
They blur-he's from Jersey.
Everybody thinks I'm from Newark.
And I drive a green station wagon.
[laughter.]
Or my mother drives a green station wagon.
So you know, they'll yell out "LaRusso," and I'm like, "Eh, not really, not really.
Not really.
" So you don't have any martial arts moves or anything? Oh, man, I'll slip a disk.
That was a-those are long gone.
[laughter.]
Or let's put it this way, when they- when they stopped payin' me, I stopped kickin'.
I don't know.
Do you know anything - about martial arts? - I know nothing.
- You know, I grew up in Asian.
- Right.
Bingo.
So we we speak the same language - Oh, absolutely.
- When they come up to you.
Like, "Show me whatever.
" "I don't know.
" You pretended you knew karate, right? - You said when you were little? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, you could always do that.
You always have that.
You just take - if you just learn a good stance.
- Oh, yeah, I I fake the Come on.
Let's see your stance.
Oh, I would copy one from the movie, - like, you know, like - Yeah.
[laughter.]
- He looks like - Constipated.
- Constipated.
- I wouldn't constipate it.
And he's got the kung fu grip goin' on there.
- Right, exactly.
- It's, like, weird.
Honestly, one of the hundred greatest moments in cinematic history is Daniel LaRusso crane-kickin' Johnny out in the ring.
It is a moment captured so well.
The exuberance, the joy, of all involved.
The moment he jumps into this- No mercy! Raise your fists, Johnny! Finish him! I get, like, chills.
I get almost glassy thinkin' about it.
When he jumps into this, and everyone's just lookin' at him, we all know.
We're like, "He's gonna kick him in the [bleep.]
face!" [crowd cheering.]
[all laughing.]
If you want to preach like Captain Planet - [giggles.]
- You gotta walk the walk.
- Uh, Ralph, he's here.
- Hey, Walt.
- He said he had a guy.
- Yeah? He's got a guy.
And here's the item.
I've always wanted to know, in that scene in "Karate Kid" where you caught the flies You ever catch one? Not yet.
How was it done? That's a good question, 'cause that that was-you know, it was before CGI, right? So they must've set that scene up six or seven times, and we tried it different ways.
We put one where we put it in there, and I had to react, like, backwards.
Like, we started with the fly in there, and then I'd have to watch it go away.
And when they played it back, it was just, like, the worst backward acting [laughter.]
You could ever imagine.
And so the still photographer on the set had the ability to catch a fly with his hand, and they would take monofilament- like, thin, thin fishing line- and he would actually lasso these live flies, and I would try to grab this monofilament string and slide down.
I decapitated at least three of 'em.
[all laughing.]
As time went by, the weight of the string was slowing down this fly.
- By the end, he was just - [laughter.]
Wings out, just like, "Find the next fly.
" In one shot, I catch it, and the- the fly's at the end- Hey, hey! Hey, Mr.
Miyagi, look.
Hmm.
So that's-that's that story.
So there's a little exclusive, fly-catching exclusive.
- All right, have a great day.
- Thanks a lot.
Thanks.
[register drawer closes.]
- Hello.
- Hi, how are you? Good.
What can we do for you today? Do you guys by any chance have Captain Planet comics? Captain-wow.
I haven't heard that in a long time.
- We may have some Captain Planet in the basement.
You want to go check it out? - Yeah, I'll go-I'll go check.
Thanks.
- Big Captain Planet fan? - Yes.
I grew up with that show, and I currently work at a library, and I thought it would be a good idea if I could donate comics and educate the kids that come in about saving the planet.
That's right, Captain Planet was an-an eco-superhero.
- Oh, we had some.
- Found some down there.
- Oh, this is perfect.
- Ooh, a number 1 too.
- Yeah.
- Wow.
He's a man from the '90s, right? It looks like he's got hockey hair.
[laughter.]
But what I want to ask you, as someone who's a big fan, do you utilize the lessons you learn from watching "Captain Planet" today? Do-do you do things differently? Oh, yes.
That's a very big thing for me.
How's your carbon footprint? You got a Prius? [laughing.]
No.
- He's got a Prius.
- He has a Prius, - and he hates the environment.
- Yeah.
Man, you want to preach like Captain Planet, you gotta walk the walk.
Hold on.
You got that Prius to save money on gas.
You didn't get it 'cause you cared about the environment.
All-all those Coke cans you drink? Don't I see you just chucking 'em in the garbage? - Yeah.
- I don't see you recycling.
Who cares about bauxite? [all laughing.]
Nowaday, it's trendy, but I remember a man who was conscious of our planet's needs when it wasn't trendy.
Are you talking about Captain Planet or someone else? Talkin' about Bryan Johnson.
- Oh.
- The original tree hugger.
That's right.
In our group, you were the most eco-conscious.
He would shame me for throwing cans out in-in my garbage, right, in front of my wife.
[all laughing.]
Yeah, I was very into it.
Like, adopting acres of rainforest.
- [laughing.]
- Like, helping out elephants oh, that's a riot, right? Wait, at one time you had a soul? [laughter.]
This was- You were big into saving things.
Until you gave up, and then, like, "I don't care.
- Let 'em all go.
" - Yeah.
That's why we need Captain Planet back, right? [all laughing.]
You said that you're a librarian? - Yes.
- Could you think you could give him some pointers? 'Cause he's got a devil of a time trying to restock and reorder the books.
What's your advice for improving on his stupidity, is what he's asking.
It's not stupidity.
Our-our system's even more ancient than the-the card catalog.
[all laughing.]
All right, so let's see what, uh, issues we got here.
We got number 1.
First appearance in comic book form of Captain Planet.
Number 2, he's fighting a pollution dragon.
- Number 3.
- Getting chased down by what appear to be rabid animals.
No, no, no, no, no.
That's her team, leading the charge.
Here's one-now, I mean, savin' the dolphins, man.
- Number 9.
- Ooh.
Poor Captain Planet looks like he just had to fly out of a cesspool.
And number 11.
Probably the best cover of the lot.
All the rings comin' together to form Captain Planet.
We're missin' a couple, but it's a- it's a nice little run.
Definitely.
What are you looking for for these? Uh.
They must command a high price, being down in the basement, I'm sure.
We realize, you know, I mean, not a lot of people comin' in for Captain Planet.
For the whole lot, $10.
- $10, really? - Yeah.
All right, sounds like a good deal to me.
- All right.
- Sold.
[giggles.]
- Oh, nice.
I'm sure kids at the library are gonna be very happy to read those.
Power is yours, guys.
Thank you.
I feel like I did something here to help the environment by sellin' those comics, right? Were were they on recycled paper? - I don't think so.
- No, I'm just-without me, those kids might not have gotten to read those books at the library and grown up to be green and clean.
Right, it's not about the librarian at all.
- It's all about you.
- Yeah, hey, good job.
- Good job, man.
- Good job.
- You're a hero.
- Captain Planet right here.
[all laughing.]
There you go.
There you go.
- Wax on.
- Clockwise.
- Okay.
Counterclockwise.
- Then wax off.
Look at that, you could chew bubblegum and walk - at the same time.
- Oh, let's not get crazy.
I just got a text from Robert.
He's got the Competition Center, and he'll be here in 20 minutes.
All right.
All right.
- I told you.
- The man delivers.
While-while you're here, and I know this sounds weird, but "Karate Kid" had all that martial arts philosophy, accomplishing bettering yourself through mundane tasks.
Um, you know, I kinda do a lot of mundane tasks around here.
I'm stocking shelves.
I'm folding shirts.
I'm wiping down this counter.
Is there any of that martial arts philosophy you might be able to imbue on me? Maybe-maybe, you know, help me do a better job here? Can you can you better yourself through mundane conversation? [all laughing.]
We're gonna call him Ming-yagi.
How's that? How's that? How cool was it to have the Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio, at the Stash at our disposal, just to pepper him with so many questions like that? It it was amazing.
Never did I think I would see the day.
And-and-and I got a new, cool nickname now: Ming-yagi.
Really? I like your old nickname better: asshat.
[laughing.]
Didn't have quite the same ring, but [all laughing.]
I know it sounds ridiculous, but I I mean, take this counter, for example.
I'm-I'm always having problems keepin' it clean.
These guys are always putting fingerprints on it.
You know, I know you did the you know, there's the wax on, wax off, and- and in the movie, you know, I know it- it was very specific.
Wax on.
Right hand make a circle.
Wax off.
Left hand circle.
- Which way to do it - Now which was-which hand was on, and which one was wax off? I think if if I remember correctly - Go ahead.
- I believe this was on, right? And this was off.
Am I right? No, you had a 50/50 shot, and you blew it.
I blew it? It was this one? - You blew it.
- Okay, see, this is - Hold on, hold on, here.
- I'm right-handed.
- Show him.
- There you go.
I know it was just a movie, but while I had him in front of me, I- I-I thought maybe he could, you know, teach me the technique of, uh, you know, waxing on and waxing off.
Maybe some of the stuff that he learned from the master Mr.
Miyagi in the movie.
I'm sure he was like, "This is worse than gettin' my leg swept.
" [all laughing.]
- Okay, this is wax on.
- Right.
And then you go wax off with this one.
- And the-this-this- - Counterclockwise.
- This way? Counterclockwise.
- No.
- Here, here.
- Okay.
- Oh, oh, oh.
- [laughing.]
- Don't get excited, now.
- Okay, okay.
- So you go-you go - Okay.
- There you go, clockwise.
- Okay, wax on.
Okay.
And wax off, let's see what you do.
- I - both: Counterclockwise.
Look at that, you could chew bubblegum and walk at the same time.
Oh, let's not get crazy.
You can't do it at the same time? So how we doi" on that 20 minutes? [all laughing.]
Look.
Look at how clean this is.
It was beyond cringeworthy.
I mean, you just wanted so badly for him to say the phrase, "Wax on, wax off," that you came up with some harebrained scheme as, like, you couldn't keep the counter clean.
I think he thought you were simple.
[laughing.]
He was right.
[all laughing.]
Oh, he's here.
Uh, Ralph.
- Yeah? - He's here.
- Hey, Walt.
- Oh, hey, hey, hey.
- Good job.
- Sorry it took me so long, man.
It's okay.
- Huh? - How you doin', man? Hey, Robert Bruce.
- This is awesome.
- How are ya? - He said he had a guy.
- Yeah.
He's got a guy.
And here's the item.
That's crazy.
The reason why I needed this one with the-first of all, there's not many of these, right? - No, impossible.
- I mean, you'll attest to that.
But-but the thing this referee first of all, it-it cr- it cracks me up, because he's in a white shirt when in the movie, - he was wearin' what color shirt? - Red.
Red shirt.
All right, good.
I like-I like the little classroom things.
- Raise your hand first next time.
- I'm sorry.
- Raise your hand.
- I'm sorry.
I'm just I'm excited.
- But, um, this character was played by Pat Johnson, who did all the fight choreography in the movie, so any of the fight scenes that were done in the movie, it was choreographed by him.
He was our stunt coordinator and, uh, martial arts guru, and- Only way you could get his figure too.
- This was-yeah, see how they have- oh, the got the whole ch- crowd cheerin'.
Oh, they cut - you could actually cut it out.
I mean, I wouldn't touch it, man.
I'd leave it like it is.
Let-let my grandchildren, uh, cut it up and-and use it.
I'm so lucky.
This is awesome, man.
This is a home run.
What do I owe you for it? Well, it took me some time to find it.
I had to-gas and tolls, and I'd like to get, uh, $320.
- All right.
- Come on, Robert.
- Seriously? - His face is on the box.
I mean, I'm I'm not including my fee.
You know, usually I have a fee for running around.
All right, listen, guys- guys, I came in to get this.
Whatever it is, it is.
- But still.
- I mean, it's a-it's a- - What? - You know, you gotta do - better than that.
I mean - All right.
Come on, look who you're sellin' it to.
- All right, I mean, Walt's - Walt's house.
It's factory sealed.
I could do $300.
I know you can do better than that.
Listen, $300's fine.
No, no, no, no.
Walt's right.
- Do a little bit better.
- Walt's 100% correct.
So $250 would be, like, my rock.
- $250.
That - That'll make it $10.
Listen, this is a home run for me.
We've had fun for 58 minutes.
[all laughing.]
$250's fair.
$250.
Lunch in Jersey right here.
For me.
I don't know- - I'm not bringin' everybody.
- Aww.
It was a pleasure to have you here.
This is awesome, man.
Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Thanks very much.
- See you later, man.
- All right, thank you.
- Thank you.
- You got it.
Thanks, guys.
Where do you get off tryin' to charge him tolls and gas when everyone knows you ride a bike? [all laughing.]
A boy plays a legend.
A boy becomes a man.
That man comes into our store, and you helpin' findin' somethink from when he was a boy.
That's circle, all circle right there.
antian easter filosofy, right? Well, we have a good time wax on, but is time to wax off.
From Comic Book Men.
I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Strike hard.
Strike first.
No mercy, sir.
Good Night.