Comic Book Men s06e10 Episode Script

Bats Ahoy

1 [rock music.]
Whadd'ya think of this bold statement? "Scooby and the gang are better detectives - than Batman and Robin.
" - [chuckles.]
What? Why do you think they're better than-than Batman? Batman- he's the world's greatest detective.
Batman took down murderers, sickos.
The Scooby gang took down what? Like, some dude in a mask trying to take over a farm or something? You know, they don't- - [laughs.]
- Carnivals sometimes.
- Yeah, carnivals.
All they solved were petty crimes, right? But, also, Scooby and the gang, none of them have, like, batarangs or utility belts or special weapons.
- Right.
- Boom.
Brain power.
That's it.
And two of 'em are arguably remedial.
[both laugh.]
Huh? Right, Scooby and Shaggy? How can you call a dog who talks remedial? - Yeah, come on.
- [laughs.]
Well, Scooby's got at least a speech impediment then.
[laughter.]
- Uh, yeah, but, his throat, it was not made for human speech though.
- give him a break.
- Well, then just bark.
- [laughs.]
- You know? Stop trying to be more than you are.
Uh, so if you had the ability to talk, but you couldn't do it well, you would just - sit around and bark? - Wha-I'm not a dog.
[both laugh.]
- Okay, all right, good point.
So you're saying with their brains and an ascot, they remain better detectives? And I would say that sometimes an ascot can strike more fear into the heart of a criminal than a bat.
This-this is a ridiculous statement.
[laughter.]
[heroic music.]
[laughs.]
The Comic Book Men SO6E10 [upbeat music.]
Hello.
Welcome back to another episode of Comic Book Men, the only show that you see Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent and Sarah Mani get the big old orfan fight.
I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Okay, make love to may ears.
- What's been happening? - Screen-used props are big, big business now, right? Yeah, we should really get out of comic books.
[laughter.]
- Hey, how you doin'? - Hey, guys, how's it goin'? Pretty good.
Oh, what you got there? I have something you may be interested in.
- Ooh.
- Adam West's Batman gloves, a letter indicating that they're actually Adam West's, 8x10 glossy signed by the cast, and a postcard.
Piece of television history.
- Wow, look at that, Mike.
Oh, my God.
So they're not Audrey Hepburn's gloves from "Breakfast at Tiffany's"? [laughter.]
No, no.
No, not that elegant, I'm afraid.
Where did you get this? Well, there's actually two stories here.
When I was 10 years old, in L.
A.
in 1966, I noticed, uh, Neil Hamilton was walking down the street dressed just like Commissioner Gordon, and we stopped him and he pulled out this postcard from his jacket, autographed it for me, and he was nice enough to take my name and address, and he promised me an 8x10 glossy picture.
Sure enough, it arrived a coupla weeks later signed by the cast.
The other story is that the gloves and the Adam West letter, that was from a telethon in Los Angeles, - and my mom got 'em for $40.
- Oh, my God.
- Wow.
- That's an incredible story.
I mean, so you've had these items since you were how old? I don't want- Ten years old.
50 years.
- Phew, you look damn good for - so you're 60 years old? Yeah, well Thank you.
My God, the guy's got a wedding ring on.
[laughter.]
Would you leave him alone? The Adam West Batman or what we now in the parlance of our times refer to as Batman '66, of course, was my introduction to the character.
I'd come home from school and watch those reruns on a black and white TV.
That was my day.
From 4:00 till 5:00.
I loved that show so much.
And it's definitely had a resurgence, uh, lately.
I mean, merchandise, uh, the DVD's finally got released.
Yeah, DC also started a comic book called "Batman '66," and that allowed me and Ralph Garman, the guy I do "Hollywood Babble-On" podcast with, to do a "Batman '66" series.
But I thought I was a Batman '66 fan, Ralph has a room in his house that's just nothing but Batman.
I tried to give him a Tim Burton Batmobile once, and he goes, "I'm sorry.
I don't collect any Batman after 1980.
" [laughter.]
You're here to sell these items that you've had since 1966? Well, my son recently bought a townhouse.
There are three gigantic trees in the backyard, and they've gotta come down, and we've gotta find money for it.
What're you lookin' to get for it? I know I-I don't even wanna hear it.
I can just tell already it's going to be- - Prepare for a low - ball offer.
[laughter.]
I think they're worth $15,000.
[groans.]
15 grand.
Well, I know that the photo is worth at least $1,200, and a personalized Adam West letter, a lot of people would love to get their hands on that.
The gloves, that's, like, the wild card right there.
I know there's at least one other - Okay.
- Because somebody I read about on the Internet has an entire set.
So there's at least two out there, but [exhales.]
Is there any chance - you can do it for - for eight grand? You know, I mean, you don't need a real tree service - to do this job, do you? - Mm How about $10,000? I c.
.
I can go to $8,500, but I think that that's my cap.
[soft dramatic music.]
- Uh, I've gotta have $10,000.
- Gotta have $10,000? That's-that's as that's as low as I can go.
All right, I'm sorry, but it was a-a pleasure speaking to- wow, look at that grip.
Holy crap.
It's good? [laughter.]
I'm sorry we couldn't make a deal, but thanks for your consideration.
- Good luck with the trees.
- Oh, thanks.
- [groans.]
- Sucks letting cool stuff just walk out the door, doesn't it? - Yep.
- Talkin' 'bout the gloves or the guy.
[laughter.]
[thumping.]
You got Iron Man's armor in there? - Better.
- Better? - You ready? - Yeah.
- Wow.
- Get the (bleep) outta here! [laughter.]
- Ooh! [upbeat music.]
- Hey, Walt.
- Oh, hey, man.
- What's up, Chris? - Not much.
- How's it going? - Good, how you been? - Good, nice to see you.
- Hey, what brings you - to Red Bank? - I'm on my way into the city with something to have it photographed today and thought you guys'd be mad if I didn't stop in and show it to you guys first, - so I thought I'd, uh, pop by.
- Great.
Must be important in this bulletproof case.
Hey, Ming, you might wanna check this out.
You got Iron Man's armor in there? - Better.
- Better? [dramatic music.]
[case clicks.]
- Ooh.
- You ready? both: Yeah.
Get the (bleep) outta here! [laughter.]
- Ooh! [upbeat music.]
- Is that real? - Real deal.
Wow, I cannot believe it.
Have you ever been in the presence? Never been this close before.
I saw it behind bulletproof glass once, but never this close.
Oh, my God, my hands are sweating.
Ming, quit breathing on it.
[laughter.]
For those that don't know, and how could you not, Batman's first appearance is not "Batman" number 1.
It's right there in "Detective" 27.
This little comic book birthed a multi-billion dollar industry based on the simple notion that a boy who lost his parents in a big city to a random mugging crime, would grow up to make sure that never happened to anybody else again by putting on a bat outfit and fighting crime.
It's the signature work of "Batman" creator Bob Kane.
This one "Batman" story started everything.
Why are you walkin' around with a "Detective" 27? You know, I'm transporting it for the actual owner, and wouldn't want, uh, my friends - to not get to see it.
- Are you bonded and insured? I am both bonded and insured, so all: Oh.
- It is in immaculate condition.
- It's beautiful.
- It looks great.
- The colors are amazing.
- It's been the same owner for over 20 years.
Bought it in an auction - way back when.
- No kidding? Uh, he's turned down so many offers for it.
It's a beautiful, beautiful book.
There's probably not more than a handful - in this kind of condition.
- There's no way on Earth this guy was coming into our store - to try to sell this book.
- No, actually, he's an old friend of the Stash, and he knew that we had never seen one up- up close and personal.
I gotta tell you, I cannot do this book justice just describing it.
It looked amazing.
Bright colors, spine was immaculate.
I mean, we're talking about a book that came out in 1939.
- Yeah.
- Through all those decades, all that turmoil the world has seen, this book remained unchanged.
It wasn't like somebody carried it on the battlefield.
[laughter.]
Oh, man.
I could just stare at it all day long.
And I would let you, but I have to go to the city.
Do you think we can get maybe get a picture with it? - Sure, I've got my phone.
- All right.
Can you just flip it around for us? So it's, like, facing the camera.
What are you gonna do, lay down on the counter? - Just pick it up.
- Whoa! - Oh, oh, oh! - Pick it up.
- All right.
- Ah.
Do, like, "The Price Is Right" thing, man.
Like you're showing it off.
There you go.
Thanks for coming, Chris, and thanks for bringing the book down.
- No problem.
- It was an honor.
Thank you.
It was good to see you guys.
[rock music.]
Hey.
You guys busy this weekend? Depends.
Do you know the Batboat's gonna be down in Red Bank? Batboat? Yeah, the Batboat from the '66 movie.
It's coming to Red Bank? Yeah, I met the guy at Chiller Con.
Says he's bringing it down to the marina down here and says if we come down, we could go on it.
He'll let us go out on it? Yeah, he said we could go out on it.
- Sailing? - Sailing, yeah.
So the Batboat is a sailboat? Uh, no, wasn't it more ofNo, it's a speedboat.
Okay.
So we can't go sailing on it then? [laughs.]
You know what I meant.
- Do you have a sailboat? - I don't, so I guess I'll go sailing on this speedboat with you guys.
[laughter.]
- Who cares if it's a sailboat? Come on, it's the Batboat.
Well, it'd be kind of weird if Batman and Robin were depending on, like, westerly winds.
[laughter.]
The Batman '66 Batman universe gave kids what they wanted, man.
Those colorful villains dressed in those costumes, sets, lairs, the Batcave but when it came to vehicles, man, like, the message was communicated, "You could not escape the long arm of justice.
" Even if you tried to commit crime at sea, Batman and Robin would be there to stop you with the Batboat.
[laughter.]
- And this is the screen - used "Batman" '66 boat? Yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
Adam West sat in this? Burt Ward accompanied Batman? Yeah, I-on this boat, yeah.
Pfft.
Then I'm in.
We should make a full day out of this; get out on the water, bring some sandwiches, some beverages.
You know? I mean, that's- that's a classy weekend.
And what-what do you got to do? Any-anything better this weekend than go out on a Batboat? Make a day out of it.
You had me at "sandwich.
" [laughter.]
Uh, I got something pretty unique I think y'all want to take a look at.
- Oh, my God.
- And where-is- - I've never seen this before.
- Me neither.
I love "Batman" '66 so much, I've always been trying to get it into my work.
There's was one piece of that show that I would've loved to have walked with- - it was the opening shield.
- Oh! - The one - Yeah.
Where it unfolded and they hid behind it.
It was translucent; you could kind of see through it.
What about you, Big? Uh, I would take Alfred's suit, so when the time comes, I have something ne to be buried in.
[laughter.]
- A cowl.
- Naturally.
I would take the pink one too.
- Wouldn't matter.
- Oh! [laughter.]
That'd be ama- Deep cuts right there.
You're like, "remember this?" They're like "holy crap.
" - That's one of a kind.
- Yeah.
What about you, Zap? The William Shakespeare head that controlled the sliding bookcase.
Of course! What about you, Ming? I'm taking the Batmobile.
That's a pricey car, dude.
Atomic power to batteries.
Turbines to speed.
That's not, like, "I'm gonna fill it up with unleaded.
" You got to supply atomic power to this beast.
- [laughing.]
- Changed your mind? No.
No, no, no, no.
[laughter.]
I still want the Batmobile.
[laughter.]
[upbeat music.]
Hey.
How's it goin'? What can we do for you today? Uh, I got something pretty unique I think y'all want to take a look at.
It is a old 1966 "Batman" cloth banner.
- Can I t - can I hold that? Yeah.
Definitely.
Oh, my God.
I've never seen one of these before.
[rock music.]
This looks very, very vintage.
Yeah, it's in great shape too.
Definitely looks like it was released at the height of "Batman" '66 mania.
- Oh, right down there - 1966.
I've never seen this artwork before.
Like, this artwork may have been specifically made for this banner.
This one I recognize.
It looks a little Carmine Infantino.
It's Dick Sprang ish to me.
Uh, I think both your dicks sprang [laughter.]
When you saw it.
Where'd you get it? I got it at a flea market - right outside D.
C.
- What a find.
Yeah, it's my understanding that it was in shops as an advertisement and sold out to the kids to put up in their room.
It had all three characters on it, so I knew I had to have it.
Amazing.
I mean, what do you think of the Penguin as a villain, Mike? Not one of the sexier villains.
Not one of the more powerful villains- Well, I mean, you're not saying it in bed.
Like, why are you talking about sexy? What are you talking about? [laughter.]
Now, there is a ton of Batman merchandise, but there's not a lot of Penguin merchandise.
Yeah, he hasn't been that celebrated.
When "Batman Returns" came out, there was a bunch of Danny DeVito-looking Penguin merch out there, but then it all just kind of went away.
And I remember at the time, there was a lot of people going, "No, that's not my Penguin.
I don't like that.
" [laughs.]
Why, with comic book fans, are they so married to, like- Well, you say, like, "That's not my Penguin.
" Because your Penguin is the Penguin you grew up with, and the Penguin I grew up with was Burgess Meredith.
"Wah, wah, wah, wah.
" Like you're the curmudgeonly old guy that's like, "My Penguin used to have a cigarette holder and go, 'Wah, wah, wah.
" And then people'd be like, "You have a penguin?" [laughter.]
Every generation has a penguin.
[laughter.]
So are you here to sell it today? Looking to sell.
I- a big Spider-Man collection, that's mainly what I collect.
So raising some funds for that.
I'm heavily into banners.
Any kind of, like usually it's sports banners, but um- Could be Bruce Banner.
[laughter.]
- But I mean, I've got a Spider - Man banner, a Godzilla banner.
Most of them I keep in a plastic tube to, you know, keep them preserved so that nothing happens to them.
Banners suck.
Posters are way better.
The only cloth I'll give you on a poster is, like, a black light poster, right? Zeppelin, Hendrix, AC/DC- But what about the Farrah poster? When we were little? Okay, Farrah Fawcett.
You would rather have a Farrah Fawcett banner? I would have rather had that image on a banner! Why? [laughing.]
'Cause we all had that poster.
Do we have it now? I don't think we'd have the banners either.
Well, I have all my banners.
I saved them all.
Yeah, they're rolled up in tubes.
Yeah.
[laughter.]
All right.
This is a piece I'd love to add to my collection.
Okay.
What do you need to get for it? Well, you clearly are interested in it, so I'm thinking, you know, $200.
Now I'm gonna point out some of those defects, maybe where I didn't you know[laughs.]
Initially, I didn't, but- Here's why it's not as good as a poster.
[laughter.]
It looks like it may have come from a smoker's home.
There's a little bit of staining down here.
All right.
Is there any way you could do $140? Couldn't do $140.
I could come down to, like, $175.
How about $150? $150? We'll meet in the middle? Yeah, I can do $150.
- Can you do $150? Awesome.
- I can do $150.
All right.
[register whirring.]
All right.
- $150, my friend.
- All right, great.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- All right.
Have a great day.
- You too.
This is gonna look sweet.
You have your whole weekend mapped out for you.
He's like, "I got a whole brand-new tube to sit there and stare at.
" [laughter.]
"All weekend.
" Couldn't have picked a better day for a ride in the Batboat.
Whoa! Oh, my God.
It's beautiful.
Couldn't have picked a better day for a ride in the Batboat.
Whoa! Oh, my God.
It's beautiful.
[exciting music.]
- Dude, what do you think? - Stunning.
Not messing around today.
Holy mackerel.
It is gorgeous.
It's got that blue glitter paint.
It is something- The blue glitter paint that says, "crime will be fought.
" [laughter.]
- "On the water.
" - Yes.
I on the high seas.
I it's just glorious.
It's-it's got to be the greatest pop culture boat in history.
Correct? Love Boat's better.
[laughter.]
Hey, John.
What's up? Hey, Ming.
How are ya? - What's going on? - Is everything all right? - Guys, this is John.
- Good to see you.
John, this is Mike, Walt, Bryan.
- How you doin', John? - How are ya? - Hey.
How you doing? - How you doing? - Hi.
How are ya? - How's everything? - It's beautiful, John.
- Thank you.
It looks amazing.
Y yeah, it looked great at the con.
Looks even better outside now, though.
Where did you get this? I brought it back from a museum in Indianapolis and totally rebuilt it and restored every part.
And this is the boat that was in the movie, the "Batman" '66 movie? Uh, no.
This is a, uh, an exhibition boat.
[tense music.]
I'm-I-I was wrong.
It wasn't screen-used.
No-I saw it at the convention.
It looked gra- I thought it was screen-used.
You assumed.
I- I as- okay, fine, I assumed it was screen-used.
And you've you've heard me tell you what happens when you assume, right? Yes, I know what "ass, you, me.
" Yes, I kn-I know what happens.
I'm-I'm usually- "Ass, you, me," what kind of punishment are we talking about here? [laughter.]
Doesn't matter; it's gorgeous, man.
It is so bad-ass.
You think you could show us and give us a little mini-tour - of the Batboat? - Sure.
Of course.
- It'd be my pleasure.
- Awesome.
Hey, do you have the Batzooka in here? Yes, we do, Ming.
We're gonna open up the Bat hatch [dramatic music.]
And there you go.
[laughter.]
Oh, check this out.
You could do some damage with that, Mike.
You sure can.
- He had a Batzooka? - Had a Batzooka.
Did they use the Batzooka to take out the Penguin's sub? Kind of, like, scary when you think about it.
Batman, who never uses guns, is like, "Let's kill them all underwater.
" [laughter.]
"They'll die drowning, Robin.
[laughs menacingly.]
" Oh, my God.
Oh, that's the thruster in the back.
The thruster.
That's where you get all your speed from.
Does a flame really shoot out of there? Yeah.
Yes.
- It shoots flame? - Yes.
Who are the autographs you have here? - That's the cast - Burt Ward, Adam West, and Julie Newmar.
Amazing.
And then we have your favorite, Ming.
Just in case you get into any trouble on the water - Oh.
- Grab your shark repellent.
Well, it's not a Batboat without the shark repellent.
No, that's a must.
It really is exquisite, John, but we're here to, you know, to get it out on the water, man.
So when do we launch it, and can we sit in it while you launch it? You can definitely sit in it, but right now it's locked in 'cause I'm currently on my way to my next, uh, event.
Oh, you mean it's not going in the water? No, not today.
I thought we could put it in the water.
We launch it, you know, go around for a little bit.
No.
Not today, Ming.
John, you said we could go on it.
Oh, you can go on it.
- You mean, like, sit in it? - Sure.
Of course.
But not in the water.
When you tell your friends, "we're going out on a boat," usually it means you go out on the boat.
I was wrong.
I don't know what to tell you.
Was the Batboat bolted to the trailer - when you saw it at the con? - Yes.
Don't worry, Ming, I'm sure the same thing happened to Batman many times.
They would've used the boat a lot more, but it was like, "Robin, it's bolted to the trailer.
" [laughter.]
"When I say, 'get on the boat,' "I meant just get on it, but we're not going to sea.
" [laughter.]
[laid-back music.]
Mm.
Is this the life, or is this the life? It's all about relaxing, man.
It's all about living the good life for once.
- This is the good life? Seeing a half - naked Ming in front of you at all times? [laughter.]
There you go.
There's the definition right there.
I like the view where I'm sittin' from.
[laughter.]
Thanks, boss! [laughter.]
Foy! [laughter.]
We spent the afternoon catching rays and just kind of- And getting yelled at by passerby.
They're like, "Why don't you put that thing in the water?" [laughter.]
"You're doing it wrong!" Oh, unfortunately, it's just about time to put this Batboat into dry dock.
For "Comic Book Men," I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Good night, Gotham, and all you Batmen, Batwomen, Batgirls, and Batmice.
Good night.

Previous EpisodeNext Episode