Courage the Cowardly Dog (1999) s03e04 Episode Script

Hard Drive Courage-The Ride of the Valkyries

1 - (STATIC) - We interrupt this program to bring you Courage the Cowardly Dog show! - Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog! - (COURAGE SCREAMS) Abandoned as a pup, he was found by Muriel, who lives in the middle of Nowhere with her husband Eustace Bagge.
- (EUSTACE GRUNTS) - But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.
- It's up to Courage to save his new home.
- (SCREAMING) Stupid dog! You made me look bad! - (EUSTACE YELLS) - (COURAGE SCREAMS) (SNEEZING) (SNIFFLING) Ugh! (GROANS) Poor Eustace.
You're burning up.
Courage, pass me my special remedy.
Mmm-hmm.
(RATTLING) Now, Eustace, just try a bite of my special gelatin.
See it jiggle? (GIGGLES) Just one bite.
I don't (SNEEZING) Well, I suppose.
(GROANING) What's in there anyway? Oh, just a wee drop of vinegar.
(RETCHING) Oh, Courage, what can I do? I've tried every remedy I can think of.
- Except, what was it? - (RETCHING CONTINUES) (GROANING) (WHINING) Oh, yes.
Artichoke syrup soup.
How does that sound, Eustace? Anything but these leeches! Let's see I know that artichoke syrup soup recipe's around here somewhere.
Any luck, Courage? Mmm-mmm.
Hmm, now this looks promising.
Let's see Aardvark syrup soup.
Armageddon syrup soup.
Artichoke syrup soup! There it is! Oh! Oh, Courage, where on earth are we supposed to find that recipe now? Hmm.
(COMPUTER READING) Oh, so many pretty buttons.
- What does this one do? - (BEEPING) - (GASPING) - (BEEPING) - Oh, my! - (GIGGLING) I could use a cup of tea.
(COMPUTER CHUCKLES) (COMPUTER READING) (SNAPPING) COMPUTER: Recipe for artichoke syrup soup.
How boring! (COMPUTER READING) (WHINING) (CIRCUITS SCRAMBLING) (ALARM RINGING) COMPUTER: Virus alert! Oh, blast! What the dickens is going on? Who are you? What do you want? (STATIC BUZZING) (GULPING) Oh! (CIRCUITS CRACKLING) (MOANING) (GIGGLING) Ooh! I'd better go check if Courage has found that recipe yet.
(MUMBLING) - MURIEL: Courage, any luck yet? - (STATIC BUZZING) Courage? COMPUTER: Push button, button "X.
" Well, that does seem pretty simple.
- (ZAPPING) - Oh! (MOANING) (SCREAMING) - (GLASS SHATTERING) - (GASPING) COURAGE: (SHOUTING) No! - Help! - (CIRCUITS FRYING) What do I do? What do I do? COMPUTER: Scanner.
(SIGHING) (SCANNING) COURAGE: (SHOUTING) Whoa! - (LAUGHING) - (LAUGH ECHOING) (GASPING) - (GIGGLING) - (GIGGLE ECHOING) - MURIEL: Courage? - (TEETH CHATTERING) Courage, can you hear me? (WHINING) MURIEL: Help! (GASPS) (EXCLAIMS) - (EXCLAIMS) - MURIEL: Courage? Muriel? Muriel! (GROANS) MURIEL: Courage, is that you? Save me! (GASPS) (SCREAMING) I must have hit the wrong button again.
(VIRUS CACKLING) Oh! (EXCLAIMS) Help! (MURIEL SCREAMING) (SNEEZING) - Oh! - (MURIEL SCREAMING) (PANTING) (GASPING) Huh? MURIEL: Courage! Help! - (CLANGING) - Hmm? (SCREAMS) (STRAINING) Phew! (SNAKE-LIKE HISSING) (SNARLING) Ahhh! (GROANING) (VIRUS SNEEZING) (VIRUS COUGHING) (WHINING) (BLOWING) - MURIEL: Bless you.
- (EXCLAIMS) (SCREAMING) I'm sick.
And now I got to deal with you? Okay, buster, you asked for it.
- (BEEPING) - (ENERGY POWERING UP) (EXCLAIMS) (BABBLING) Say goodbye to your mother, dog, 'cause she's my motherboard now! Okay, boys, go get him! (GIBBERISH CONTINUES) (HUMMING) Go on, Courage.
You can do it.
(WHINING) Oh, so you want to play rough, huh? (LAUGHING) (COUGHING) Bill! No! (BUZZING) (MOANING) (CIRCUITS FRYING) Now, is that any way to treat your hardware? (CHUCKLES) (CRASHING) Oh! This dog is a terrible person! (SNEEZING) That woman is not leaving until I get better! And that's that! (SNEEZING) Poor thing.
Have you tried artichoke syrup soup? Yes, I did.
And it didn't work! Artichoke syrup soup didn't work? Have you tried anything else? Anything else? What else is there? (BABBLING) Brilliant idea, Courage.
We could try the special gelatin.
I'll try anything as long as it's not leeches.
(MOANS) - (MOANING) - (PHONE RINGING) Frigga-frag! (GROANING) - Hello? - (GIGGLING) Ow! What the Stupid telemarketers! (GRUNTING) Is it for us? Tell them we're busy.
Ah-ah.
Ah.
Is it organic? Just shut up and eat! Well What's in it, anyway? Why, only a bit of vinegar, of course.
Vinegar? Well, why didn't you say so? I love vinegar! (SLURPING) (GURGLING) (GULPING) Ah! (GASPS) Hey, I can breathe again! Hot-diggity! (CACKLING) Mmm This artichoke syrup soup really does the trick! And it ain't half bad neither! - It works every time.
- (SLURPING) It's the vinegar.
Ya! Pa-tooey! (COMPUTER READING) (LAUGHING) Isn't our Norwegian holiday off to an exciting start, Courage? According to the guidebook, some of Norway's most beautiful birds come to feed at this very spot.
(WHINING) Look.
According to the book, we're looking at the Norwegian Blue.
In olden times, they believed this bird soared with the Valkyries, fierce warriors who wore helmets just like ours.
He's feeding! (LAUGHING) (GUNS FIRING ON TV) (SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE) Idiot TV! Talk normal! Muriel! TV's broken! Shh! This place stinks! And this hat stinks, too! Ow! Duh Hey! (MUMBLING) Huh? (LAUGHING) Hey! Nothing here about this.
What's Huh? (GRUNTING) Argh! (GRUNTING) I suppose that's what you get for scaring a Norwegian Blue.
VALKYRIES: Yo-tow-ho! Yo-tow-ho! Where did he go? Yo-tow-ho, Elka! Yo-tow-ho, Frieda! Yo-tow-ho, Shatana! ALL: Yo-tow-ho! Yo-tow-ho! Ready, my Valkyrie sisters? Did you find our sister, Brunhilde? I could not spy our sister, did you? I could not find our sister, boo-hoo ALL: Our sister, our leader, is lost, alas What shall we do? Boo-hoo, boo-hoo-hoo, boo-hoo - Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo - Ladies - Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo - Ladies! Truckie and I are trying to sleep.
(HONKING) Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, boo-hoo Alack! What be this? What be this that I see? Huh? The helmet of our sister Oh, we implore you who have found her Oh, able to tell where our sister doth be Oh, able to tell where our sister will be (LAUGHING) Oh, no.
Huh? Duh.
Wait! While boldly through the clouds I see that the steed did go I thought I did spy afar Flying from the glade below ALL: The glade below The glade below And to that glade to save our sister, I shall go (HORSE NEIGHING) (STRAINING) Lousy stinking fjord! ELKA: Yo-ho-ho! What? (HORSE NEIGHING) Who the heck are you? (GRUNTING) (BANGING ON DOOR) Could you get that, Courage? I can't leave my soup.
(BANGING CONTINUES) Yo-tow-ho! (SCREAMS) (STRAINING) (COURAGE GRUNTING) Brunhilde, dear sister Praise the gods I have found you! Come back to your home in the sky (GIGGLING) I thought the Meet the Valkyries Pageant was tomorrow! (GASPING) Oh, Courage, this tour package is packed with surprises! (SCREAMING) - Yo-tow-ho! - Whee! (SCREAMING) ALL: Yo-tow-ho! Yo-tow-ho! Hail to Brunhilde Oh, we have found you How could you leave at the eve of our battle? Hail, hail Could you pass me a little more moose, Frieda? A leg, if you would.
Now let us rest.
For soon we must attack Attack the trolls! ALL: The brutal trolls The evil trolls The vicious trolls So, let us rest and eat no more And then to war Oh, this is all so authentic.
To war Oh, no! (HOWLING) To war, to war Oh, Courage, isn't it exciting? I get to be in a make-believe battle! And we get the cutest little toy weapons.
Oh! Ahhh! Oh, my! VALKYRIES: Yo-tow-ho - A spy! - (CHOKING) VALKYRIES: A spy! A spy from the trolls! Play nice now, Courage.
Bear this message to your troll king Argh! Spy And now you spy, goodbye Ahhh! (GROANS) (TROLL GRUNTING) Who sneaks up on our troll council? (SCREAMING) A spy from the Valkyries! BOTH: Crumble the spy! Crumble the spy! (GROANS) VALKYRIES: Yo-tow-ho! Ah! The Valkyries! ALL: Crumble the Valkyries! Crumble the Valkyries! ALL: Crumble the trolls! Crumble the trolls! (GIGGLING) How exciting! Oops.
ALL: Crumble the Valkyries! Ahhh! ALL: He has stolen our leader! TROLLS: Crumble the Valkyries! (COURAGE PANTING) Yo-tow-ho! Crumble the Valkyries! Ahhh! (PANTING CONTINUES) - Oh! Oh, my! - (STRUGGLING) - BRUNHILDE: Please tell no one - Huh? I love the Troll King Please tell no one I love the Valkyrie BOTH: Our love And dare not speak it Here Isn't that touching? Yo-tow-ho! (TROLLS SNARLING) Please go on, young lovers.
She's large, I'm warty He's petite, I'm husky VALKYRIES: Yo-tow-ho! (GASPS) (BABBLING) The Valkyries hate the trolls Yet she loves me The trolls hate Valkyries, yet I love he BOTH: Whatever shall we do? What shall we do? What shall we do, do, do, do, do? - VALKYRIES: Yo-tow-ho! - (COURAGE EXCLAIMING) - (GASPS) - VALKYRIES: Yo-tow-ho! Yo-tow-ho! (GRUNTING) (CHURCH ORGAN PLAYING) (BABBLING) I do (BABBLING) I do (BABBLING) (IMITATES KISSING) (KISSING) - Love - Love Love doth conquer all Oh, Courage, don't you love weddings? (SIGHS) Our joy would be increased if you'd join us for a feast.
Yo-tow-ho A feast As love doth rise As love doth rise As love doth rise like yeast (BABBLING) Duh.
- Stupid bird.
- (GIGGLING) VALKYRIES: Yo-tow-ho (THEME SONG) EUSTACE: Stupid Dog! English - SDH March 2017