Cow and Chicken (1997) s03e08 Episode Script
Sow & Chicken
1
And now our final
" Bet The Farm" question.
And remember, your answer must be
in the form of an answer.
This milk producing bovine
has been known to give milk
and to jump over the moon.
I know the answer! Oh, I know, I know!
What are lobsters?
Lobsters? What are you, an idiot?
Everybody knows lobsters don't jump!
Cousin Sow!
Oh, I can't believe you are here!
Yeah, I'm thrilled, too!
So, Sow?
To what do
we owe the pleasure of your visit?
My step-mom and step-dad
dropped me off here
as my last chance to clean up my act
before gettin' sent back to the reform sty!
What a pleasant surprise!
We'd love to have our favorite niece
stay here!
You know what they say?
Bacon fat is thicker than water!
Sometimes I think maybe I was adopted.
Rise and shine, kids! Breakfast is ready!
Be right there, Mom!
Don't wait for me. I'll be there in a sec.
Oh, man! Not corn on the cob again!
Chicken?
You know your Cousin Sow
is lactose and pork butt intolerant.
Now sit down and eat your corn cob!
Oh, all right.
Hey! That's my corn!
Really gross, Sow.
Cousin Sow, you are such a pig!
Oh, hurry up in there! I really gotta go!
I've been waitin' out here for six hours!
If you are going to dance out here,
would you mind not making
so much noise?
Thank you.
More mud, Cousin Sow?
Oh, please! Oh, please!
Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please!
Can't I see your tattoo one more time?
Oh, can't I?
All right already! But this is the last time!
It is so beau-moo-tiful!
Now go to sleep and leave me alone!
Goodnight, Sow.
Oh, I cannot wait till everyone meets you
at school tomorrow.
Yeah. I can't wait, either.
Cob Chowder or Chef's Surprise?
Chef's Surprise, please?
Surprise!
What's your pleasure?
Food fight!
That Corn Cob Man is such a funny guy.
Coming!
Yes!
Kinda looked like Cow!
Hey, girls?
Want to come to my house and study?
Yeah?
Why, so you can pour milk
in our shoes again?
I don't know what you are talking about?
Don't play dumb with us!
Let's go, girls!
Hey, Chicken?
Want to play piggy-back-ride?
You pulled my underwear up over my head
and dumped this bucket of milk on me,
and now you ask me to play with yous?
But Chicken, I did not do those things.
Yeah, right.
Cousin Sow?
Want me to carry your books home?
You gotta understand, Cuz.
I'm on the up-and-up now.
It wouldn't look good on my record for me
to be hangin' out with a delinquent,
such as yourself.
But I have not done anything wrong.
Yeah, that's what they all say.
He's got a gun! That pig has got a gun!
I hope he doesn't shoot the gull!
Hey, Pig! Put down the gun!
Thank you, Pig!
Geez!
Now Cow's movin' in on Flem and Earl.
She's out of control!
Geez, Cow! How could yous?
Geez. Now Cow's wallowin' and rootin'
in the Henderson's yard!
My sister is such a pig.
But I could not be over there wallowing
and rooting in filth if I am right here.
So, that means
Hey, catch ya at the softball game tonight!
Got my shirt back from the cleaners.
Pants weren't ready.
Not this time!
Attention students!
Anyone with information
as to the whereabouts of Cow,
please contact the Principal's Office
immediately.
Hey, you guys! She's over here!
Get the fat Cow!
Oh, please! Let me explain!
Excuse me, Cow!
All right, Cow. We know you're in there!
Your evil milking ways are over!
Allow me.
Sow?
I thought that tasted suspiciously
like pigs milk!
Bye-bye! Bye, y'all!
She was my first love.
Mine, too.
Hold me!
Oh, geez! Everyone's gone nuts!
Thanks.
Don't swim out too far, kids!
It could be dangerous!
Chicken, come back!
What's the matter, Son?
Be a girl like your sister!
Get out there and swim!
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon
better than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon, big
star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.R. Baboon reigns
king in his mind ♪
He's just as good as
the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
Today is a monumental day, Mr. Baboon.
Today we will save these people
from extinction.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
And welcome to Weasel Airlines.
For those of you migrating
for the first time,
please direct your attention
to the following film.
Today, I and my co-pilot, Mr. Baboon,
will assist you on an important journey.
Every spring, people just like you
would venture deep into the wilderness.
With only their genetic memory as a guide,
the male and female
would instinctively begin their arduous trek
to the icy waters of their birth.
As if drawn by some unseen force,
they would swim upstream against
raging currents and overwhelming odds!
Of course, some would never make it,
but many would succeed
and happily spawn
in the mountain waters
from whence they came.
But this annual migration
can no longer exist
because of an influx of
Mad Beaver Disease!
I'll say it now! It's all just a stupid tale!
And that stinkin' loony bear is just usin' us!
Hey, Kevin, you're right!
And the trees that goes with 'em!
The heck with that thing!
And dang the river!
Aye! Dang the river!
Let's make a dam!
And the lunatic beavers
proceeded to do just that.
Timber!
Much to the dismay of the spawning public,
the beavers had built humongous
dams hundreds of feet high,
blocking the river and making
your spawning trip impossible.
I'm sure! Go get my fishin' pole!
It looks like a school of jumpies
are tryin' to spawn again!
It is for this reason that Weasel Air provides
this air migration service.
Now, just sit back and relax
and our stewardess will be serving
pickle fudge sundaes in a moment.
Now, everybody buckle-up
and remember to use the barf buckets
under your seats.
Tower, this is Weasel Air,
flight ten-niner requestin' permission
to taxi onto runway.
Yeah, whatever blows your skirt up,
Big Boy.
Roger Dodger, over and under.
Now, that's a Roger.
Pilot to Co-Pilot,
we are ready to taxi onto the runway.
Okay!
Well, I.R., today's flight will make
our one thousandth successful mission.
Oh, Captain?
Some man in fourteen D
can't get his peanuts open!
Peanuts?
It only took a bag of pretzels
to blow up the Hindenburg!
Baboon! You take the wheel!
Aye!
Let it go! My peanuts!
Oh, that poor man!
Somebody help him with his bag!
Now I.R. having control of airplane.
Now hear this, peoples!
This are Baboon Airline!
Holding on!
What do they make these bags out of?
Don't panic! Help is on the way!
There's fourteen D,
and there's the bag of peanuts.
That's odd.
Where could he have possibly gone?
Let go of my tail! Let it go!
Oh, what happened?
I.R. have more lumps on head than usual.
Smarty pants Weasel think
he stop I.R. from being the air pilot.
Look at all the pretty buttons!
Millions pretty buttons.
I.R. pushing all buttons!
When you've finished your peanuts,
our flight attendant
will be serving complimentary beverages.
That's strange. We're accelerating.
This can only mean one thing.
Baboon!
All right, Mr. Baboon!
Jumping mother of pearl!
I.R. going to knock off that big goat.
That was close.
Oh, Captain? Oh, Capitan?
All that turbulence has caused
all the women to go into third stage labor
simultaneously!
I have no alternative.
I must deliver all those babies
and fly the plane at the same time.
And I fly plane.
I am Weasel! O.B.G.Y.N.
I'm exhausted!
If I have to slap one more baby's butt,
I'll pass out.
Thank goodness we're almost there.
Good gravy!
We're losing altitude fast!
Got to get nose up!
Oh, it's no use!
All the babies
have made the plane too heavy!
Co-Pilot Baboon!
Report to cockpit A.S.A.P.!
I.R., Roger!
We've got to lighten the load!
Go jettison any unnecessary baggage!
Aye-aye, Sir!
I.R. throw out unnecessary old bag.
We're still too heavy!
Go dump all the cargo!
Bye-bye used cannon balls!
Bye-bye two ton tub!
Giant Beaver Dam straight ahead!
Baboon!
Do something to lighten the plane!
I.R. on top of it, Captain!
Just look at them, I.R.
There's nothing to compare
to the wondrous beauty of parenthood.
Well, our work is done here.
Breakout the rubber raft
and we'll head back down stream.
I.R. throwing out raft when I.R.
tossing flight attendant overboard.
What?
Sometimes
I wonder why I hang out with you.
And now our final
" Bet The Farm" question.
And remember, your answer must be
in the form of an answer.
This milk producing bovine
has been known to give milk
and to jump over the moon.
I know the answer! Oh, I know, I know!
What are lobsters?
Lobsters? What are you, an idiot?
Everybody knows lobsters don't jump!
Cousin Sow!
Oh, I can't believe you are here!
Yeah, I'm thrilled, too!
So, Sow?
To what do
we owe the pleasure of your visit?
My step-mom and step-dad
dropped me off here
as my last chance to clean up my act
before gettin' sent back to the reform sty!
What a pleasant surprise!
We'd love to have our favorite niece
stay here!
You know what they say?
Bacon fat is thicker than water!
Sometimes I think maybe I was adopted.
Rise and shine, kids! Breakfast is ready!
Be right there, Mom!
Don't wait for me. I'll be there in a sec.
Oh, man! Not corn on the cob again!
Chicken?
You know your Cousin Sow
is lactose and pork butt intolerant.
Now sit down and eat your corn cob!
Oh, all right.
Hey! That's my corn!
Really gross, Sow.
Cousin Sow, you are such a pig!
Oh, hurry up in there! I really gotta go!
I've been waitin' out here for six hours!
If you are going to dance out here,
would you mind not making
so much noise?
Thank you.
More mud, Cousin Sow?
Oh, please! Oh, please!
Oh, please! Oh, please! Oh, please!
Can't I see your tattoo one more time?
Oh, can't I?
All right already! But this is the last time!
It is so beau-moo-tiful!
Now go to sleep and leave me alone!
Goodnight, Sow.
Oh, I cannot wait till everyone meets you
at school tomorrow.
Yeah. I can't wait, either.
Cob Chowder or Chef's Surprise?
Chef's Surprise, please?
Surprise!
What's your pleasure?
Food fight!
That Corn Cob Man is such a funny guy.
Coming!
Yes!
Kinda looked like Cow!
Hey, girls?
Want to come to my house and study?
Yeah?
Why, so you can pour milk
in our shoes again?
I don't know what you are talking about?
Don't play dumb with us!
Let's go, girls!
Hey, Chicken?
Want to play piggy-back-ride?
You pulled my underwear up over my head
and dumped this bucket of milk on me,
and now you ask me to play with yous?
But Chicken, I did not do those things.
Yeah, right.
Cousin Sow?
Want me to carry your books home?
You gotta understand, Cuz.
I'm on the up-and-up now.
It wouldn't look good on my record for me
to be hangin' out with a delinquent,
such as yourself.
But I have not done anything wrong.
Yeah, that's what they all say.
He's got a gun! That pig has got a gun!
I hope he doesn't shoot the gull!
Hey, Pig! Put down the gun!
Thank you, Pig!
Geez!
Now Cow's movin' in on Flem and Earl.
She's out of control!
Geez, Cow! How could yous?
Geez. Now Cow's wallowin' and rootin'
in the Henderson's yard!
My sister is such a pig.
But I could not be over there wallowing
and rooting in filth if I am right here.
So, that means
Hey, catch ya at the softball game tonight!
Got my shirt back from the cleaners.
Pants weren't ready.
Not this time!
Attention students!
Anyone with information
as to the whereabouts of Cow,
please contact the Principal's Office
immediately.
Hey, you guys! She's over here!
Get the fat Cow!
Oh, please! Let me explain!
Excuse me, Cow!
All right, Cow. We know you're in there!
Your evil milking ways are over!
Allow me.
Sow?
I thought that tasted suspiciously
like pigs milk!
Bye-bye! Bye, y'all!
She was my first love.
Mine, too.
Hold me!
Oh, geez! Everyone's gone nuts!
Thanks.
Don't swim out too far, kids!
It could be dangerous!
Chicken, come back!
What's the matter, Son?
Be a girl like your sister!
Get out there and swim!
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon
better than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon, big
star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.R. Baboon reigns
king in his mind ♪
He's just as good as
the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
Today is a monumental day, Mr. Baboon.
Today we will save these people
from extinction.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
And welcome to Weasel Airlines.
For those of you migrating
for the first time,
please direct your attention
to the following film.
Today, I and my co-pilot, Mr. Baboon,
will assist you on an important journey.
Every spring, people just like you
would venture deep into the wilderness.
With only their genetic memory as a guide,
the male and female
would instinctively begin their arduous trek
to the icy waters of their birth.
As if drawn by some unseen force,
they would swim upstream against
raging currents and overwhelming odds!
Of course, some would never make it,
but many would succeed
and happily spawn
in the mountain waters
from whence they came.
But this annual migration
can no longer exist
because of an influx of
Mad Beaver Disease!
I'll say it now! It's all just a stupid tale!
And that stinkin' loony bear is just usin' us!
Hey, Kevin, you're right!
And the trees that goes with 'em!
The heck with that thing!
And dang the river!
Aye! Dang the river!
Let's make a dam!
And the lunatic beavers
proceeded to do just that.
Timber!
Much to the dismay of the spawning public,
the beavers had built humongous
dams hundreds of feet high,
blocking the river and making
your spawning trip impossible.
I'm sure! Go get my fishin' pole!
It looks like a school of jumpies
are tryin' to spawn again!
It is for this reason that Weasel Air provides
this air migration service.
Now, just sit back and relax
and our stewardess will be serving
pickle fudge sundaes in a moment.
Now, everybody buckle-up
and remember to use the barf buckets
under your seats.
Tower, this is Weasel Air,
flight ten-niner requestin' permission
to taxi onto runway.
Yeah, whatever blows your skirt up,
Big Boy.
Roger Dodger, over and under.
Now, that's a Roger.
Pilot to Co-Pilot,
we are ready to taxi onto the runway.
Okay!
Well, I.R., today's flight will make
our one thousandth successful mission.
Oh, Captain?
Some man in fourteen D
can't get his peanuts open!
Peanuts?
It only took a bag of pretzels
to blow up the Hindenburg!
Baboon! You take the wheel!
Aye!
Let it go! My peanuts!
Oh, that poor man!
Somebody help him with his bag!
Now I.R. having control of airplane.
Now hear this, peoples!
This are Baboon Airline!
Holding on!
What do they make these bags out of?
Don't panic! Help is on the way!
There's fourteen D,
and there's the bag of peanuts.
That's odd.
Where could he have possibly gone?
Let go of my tail! Let it go!
Oh, what happened?
I.R. have more lumps on head than usual.
Smarty pants Weasel think
he stop I.R. from being the air pilot.
Look at all the pretty buttons!
Millions pretty buttons.
I.R. pushing all buttons!
When you've finished your peanuts,
our flight attendant
will be serving complimentary beverages.
That's strange. We're accelerating.
This can only mean one thing.
Baboon!
All right, Mr. Baboon!
Jumping mother of pearl!
I.R. going to knock off that big goat.
That was close.
Oh, Captain? Oh, Capitan?
All that turbulence has caused
all the women to go into third stage labor
simultaneously!
I have no alternative.
I must deliver all those babies
and fly the plane at the same time.
And I fly plane.
I am Weasel! O.B.G.Y.N.
I'm exhausted!
If I have to slap one more baby's butt,
I'll pass out.
Thank goodness we're almost there.
Good gravy!
We're losing altitude fast!
Got to get nose up!
Oh, it's no use!
All the babies
have made the plane too heavy!
Co-Pilot Baboon!
Report to cockpit A.S.A.P.!
I.R., Roger!
We've got to lighten the load!
Go jettison any unnecessary baggage!
Aye-aye, Sir!
I.R. throw out unnecessary old bag.
We're still too heavy!
Go dump all the cargo!
Bye-bye used cannon balls!
Bye-bye two ton tub!
Giant Beaver Dam straight ahead!
Baboon!
Do something to lighten the plane!
I.R. on top of it, Captain!
Just look at them, I.R.
There's nothing to compare
to the wondrous beauty of parenthood.
Well, our work is done here.
Breakout the rubber raft
and we'll head back down stream.
I.R. throwing out raft when I.R.
tossing flight attendant overboard.
What?
Sometimes
I wonder why I hang out with you.