Cow and Chicken (1997) s03e07 Episode Script

Sargeant Weenie Arms

Mama had a chicken. ♪
Mama had a cow. ♪
Dad was proud, he didn't care how. ♪
Cow! ♪
Chicken! ♪
Cow and Chicken! ♪
Well, ain't it just a lovely day?
Oh, yeah!
No one can stop Marion the Sailor!
No one except Action Abe Lincoln!
With Kung Fu lips!
Take this, Lincoln!
Feel my wrath, Sailor Boy!
I got yous!
No way!
Hello, Sailor.
Oh, hello, Mr. Lincoln.
Would you care to join me for tea?
Hey, Cow?
Yes, Big Brother?
Do you know what this is?
That's your dolly.
No. This is a action figure.
And action figures don't drink tea.
So beat it!
Hey! There's Earl!
What's up, Earl?
Look what I got for my birthday!
It can't be! Oh, my gosh!
It's the new Sergeant Weenie Arms
action figure!
With neutron bomb,
flank steak and night vision goggles!
Y'all know what I heard?
I heard that Sergeant Weenie Arms is real!
A real guy!
Nah. I heard he's just your dad
dressed up in a costume.
No way!
The back of the package says he is real!
It also says we can meet him,
and become full-fledged Weenie Marines!
All we gotta do is dress
in official Weenie Trooper Action Gear,
and go to Dead Skull Cave
and read the Weenie Chant!
Dead Skull Cave?
This is so scary!
This looks like the place.
Let's get to work.
Now, I shall recite the Weenie Chant!
"Umm claw too verada wee num!"
Give me that! You is readin' it wrongly!
"Clem toe needle in, twee dum!"
Hey! Flem's weenie is upside down!
All right. One more time.
"Clem toe booga boo wee num!"
Sergeant Weenie Arms!
Boys! Fall in!
All right!
I'm gonna turn you fashion models
into Weenie Marines!
Now, get down on your fat little bellies
and give me twenty!
This is so cool!
Yeah! Cool!
First, you must complete the shaving ritual!
I want each of you girls to pick up
one of these smooth river rocks!
This is not a cappuccino break!
I told you prom queens
to get some river rocks!
All right. Now, shave with it!
Wouldn't it be easier to shave
with a sharp rock?
Sharp rocks are for non-men.
Do you want to be a non-man?
I don't think so!
All right, men.
Your next mission
is to chop down that cave tree.
With your faces!
Ready? Chop!
Pick up the pace!
Do you hacking grandmas
wanna be Weenie Marines or not?
Good job, men!
Let's hit the sack! You've earned it!
Reveille at oh-four-hundred!
On your feet, you pastry chefs!
Congratulations, ladies!
You are now full-fledged Weenie Marines!
This is so cool!
Those are my boys!
You've done me proud!
Action Figures!
Hey! A Pencil-Neck Sissy Doll?
That's right!
Real Weenie Marines
aren't afraid to play with sissy dolls!
Oh, would you care for more tea,
Pencil-Neck Sissy?
Oh, yes! Please, Crabs!
You know, I think that
Sergeant Weenie-ums is full of bologna.
Previous EpisodeNext Episode