Cow and Chicken (1997) s03e11 Episode Script
Grandma at the Mall
1
Mama had a chicken. ♪
Mama had a cow. ♪
Dad was proud, he didn't care how. ♪
Cow! ♪
Chicken! ♪
Cow and Chicken! ♪
Give me back my Crabs doll!
Chicken?
Mother!
Where are my grandchildren?
Oh, hello, Grand-ma-ma!
I'm going to the mall,
and I'm takin' the kids with me!
Oh, that's a great idea!
Here, Cow. Take Grandma's bag.
Whatcha doin' down there, Chicken?
You get up
when your Grandma's talkin' to you!
If you're going to the mall, mother,
shouldn't you wear your glasses?
I ain't wearin' those soda pop bottles!
Now, mother.
You know without them
you're blind as a bat.
I'm not fat!
Hold still till I put them on.
Well, hurry up. I haven't got all day.
Into the car, kids!
And don't hurry back!
Darn specs.
These things mar my beauty.
Now, how am I supposed to find
a new grandpa looking like that?
Did you say "new grandpa"?
What happened to the old grandpa?
Well, I lost him.
Can't remember where I put him.
There's the mall, grand-ma-ma.
Oh, dang! I always miss that turn!
Let's go shopping.
Right. You kids stay with me.
Don't be wandering off now.
Can't afford new grand kids, too.
Excuse me, young man?
Where's the Grandpa Department?
Grand-ma-ma?
Look! A smudge!
How in the heck do you suppose
we're gonna attract a new grandpa
with a dirty beak?
Hey, Flem! What do you think?
Y'all look over there! It is Chicken.
Hey, Chicken!
Yoo-hoo!
It's Flem and Earl.
Hey, what's goin' on, fellas?
We were gonna go pick up girls.
Y'all want to come?
I can't! I gotta stay with grandma.
And you can wipe that
smirk off your face, boy!
Why don't ya just give her the slip?
No poss-si-blo, amigo.
She is very attached to me.
That's it, you got some lipstick.
Will mascara do?
Got some!
Wait right there!
I want that back when you're done.
I want to see the manager!
Chicken, what are you doing?
Will you shut up, Cow?
You are one handsome hand.
Run for your lives!
I'm not happy with the service here, kids!
We're leaving!
Are you ready, Chicken?
Speak up, boy!
I see your lips flappin', but I can't hear you.
Hey, why do you guys
want to pick up girls, anyways?
'Cause my dad said it makes a man of you.
Hey! Let's go get a soda, first!
Okay.
Do you think a grandpa would go for this?
Well
What's that, Chicken?
Don't you talk smart to your grandma,
or I'll put you over my knee!
What the heck. Let's try it on.
Hold this while I take off my corset.
Oh, man!
Chicken!
What do you think you're doing in here?
This is the girl's dressing room!
Yep, they's girls, all right.
What do we do now?
You gotta pick one of them up!
You go first!
No, you first!
I said "first," first!
No, you did not!
Yes, I did!
Can I go first?
Sure!
He's in!
Thank you.
Give your brother his ice cream, Cow.
Ain't ya gonna eat your ice cream, boy?
I tell ya, Cow,
Chicken always did eat like a pig.
I do not see
what is so great about pickin' up girls.
Me, neither!
Chicken! I've lost grand-ma-ma!
I cannot find her anywheres!
How we gonna get home?
May I have your attention, please?
We have a lost grandma
at Customer Service.
Cow! Get your udder over here pronto,
or Chicken and I will leave without you!
Well, I didn't think much of the mall.
The pickings were pretty slim
for new grandpas.
What about that place?
Used Grandpa Lot.
This is more like it!
Howdy, folks!
Need a grandpa around the house?
Sure ya do!
I've got the best deals
on grandpas in town!
Check out this beauty!
He comes with a refurbished hair piece.
And he's fully loaded.
Oh, now there's a deal!
Still in his original slippers!
This one comes with a spare!
This looks like
a pretty good grandpa to me.
But isn't that our grandpa?
The one grandma lost?
I'll take this one.
Excellent choice, madame.
Y'all come back now hear!
Why ain't ya singin', Chicken?
I am singin'!
You wait till your mom hears about this!
Mama had a chicken. ♪
Mama had a cow. ♪
Dad was proud, he didn't care how. ♪
Cow! ♪
Chicken! ♪
Cow and Chicken! ♪
Give me back my Crabs doll!
Chicken?
Mother!
Where are my grandchildren?
Oh, hello, Grand-ma-ma!
I'm going to the mall,
and I'm takin' the kids with me!
Oh, that's a great idea!
Here, Cow. Take Grandma's bag.
Whatcha doin' down there, Chicken?
You get up
when your Grandma's talkin' to you!
If you're going to the mall, mother,
shouldn't you wear your glasses?
I ain't wearin' those soda pop bottles!
Now, mother.
You know without them
you're blind as a bat.
I'm not fat!
Hold still till I put them on.
Well, hurry up. I haven't got all day.
Into the car, kids!
And don't hurry back!
Darn specs.
These things mar my beauty.
Now, how am I supposed to find
a new grandpa looking like that?
Did you say "new grandpa"?
What happened to the old grandpa?
Well, I lost him.
Can't remember where I put him.
There's the mall, grand-ma-ma.
Oh, dang! I always miss that turn!
Let's go shopping.
Right. You kids stay with me.
Don't be wandering off now.
Can't afford new grand kids, too.
Excuse me, young man?
Where's the Grandpa Department?
Grand-ma-ma?
Look! A smudge!
How in the heck do you suppose
we're gonna attract a new grandpa
with a dirty beak?
Hey, Flem! What do you think?
Y'all look over there! It is Chicken.
Hey, Chicken!
Yoo-hoo!
It's Flem and Earl.
Hey, what's goin' on, fellas?
We were gonna go pick up girls.
Y'all want to come?
I can't! I gotta stay with grandma.
And you can wipe that
smirk off your face, boy!
Why don't ya just give her the slip?
No poss-si-blo, amigo.
She is very attached to me.
That's it, you got some lipstick.
Will mascara do?
Got some!
Wait right there!
I want that back when you're done.
I want to see the manager!
Chicken, what are you doing?
Will you shut up, Cow?
You are one handsome hand.
Run for your lives!
I'm not happy with the service here, kids!
We're leaving!
Are you ready, Chicken?
Speak up, boy!
I see your lips flappin', but I can't hear you.
Hey, why do you guys
want to pick up girls, anyways?
'Cause my dad said it makes a man of you.
Hey! Let's go get a soda, first!
Okay.
Do you think a grandpa would go for this?
Well
What's that, Chicken?
Don't you talk smart to your grandma,
or I'll put you over my knee!
What the heck. Let's try it on.
Hold this while I take off my corset.
Oh, man!
Chicken!
What do you think you're doing in here?
This is the girl's dressing room!
Yep, they's girls, all right.
What do we do now?
You gotta pick one of them up!
You go first!
No, you first!
I said "first," first!
No, you did not!
Yes, I did!
Can I go first?
Sure!
He's in!
Thank you.
Give your brother his ice cream, Cow.
Ain't ya gonna eat your ice cream, boy?
I tell ya, Cow,
Chicken always did eat like a pig.
I do not see
what is so great about pickin' up girls.
Me, neither!
Chicken! I've lost grand-ma-ma!
I cannot find her anywheres!
How we gonna get home?
May I have your attention, please?
We have a lost grandma
at Customer Service.
Cow! Get your udder over here pronto,
or Chicken and I will leave without you!
Well, I didn't think much of the mall.
The pickings were pretty slim
for new grandpas.
What about that place?
Used Grandpa Lot.
This is more like it!
Howdy, folks!
Need a grandpa around the house?
Sure ya do!
I've got the best deals
on grandpas in town!
Check out this beauty!
He comes with a refurbished hair piece.
And he's fully loaded.
Oh, now there's a deal!
Still in his original slippers!
This one comes with a spare!
This looks like
a pretty good grandpa to me.
But isn't that our grandpa?
The one grandma lost?
I'll take this one.
Excellent choice, madame.
Y'all come back now hear!
Why ain't ya singin', Chicken?
I am singin'!
You wait till your mom hears about this!