Cow and Chicken (1997) s03e24 Episode Script

Cow's Pie

Well, I was wondering
Well, that is
if you're maybe not too busy,
you could possibly
try my new pie that I made?
I'm not eatin' that!
I know where it came from!
But it's a Cow Pie!
- But
- Never!
No way!
No how will I eat it, so forget about it!
- Oh, please, Big Brother?
- No!
- Please?
- No!
- Please?
- No!
- Please?
- I said no!
Sheesh, Cow's crazy
if she thinks I'll eat that.
Cow? How many times do I have to
Oh, how ya doin', Dad?
What can I do you for?
Well, son, let me tell you,
I just had the best meal of my life!
Oh, yeah? What'd you have?
Your sister made the most scrumptiously
delicious finger-Iickin' good cow pie,
and I order you to eat it!
Cow pie?
But Dad, I don't want any of her stupid pie.
Now, Chicken, you do as I say.
Wait a second.
All right, Cow, I see yas in there.
No, you don't.
Your head is stickin' out of Dad's pants!
No, it's not.
Yes, it is!
How about some pie, son?
Get the heck out!
Sheesh! It's almost time for school.
I'd better hit the shower.
Cow, you'd better not be in that shower
offerin' me some of your stupid pie.
Cow, what the heck
are you doin' in my shower?
Pie, Big Brother?
Cow, will you get out of my shower?
Hey, Mom, what's for breakfast?
I'm starvin'!
Well, honey,
I have something special delicious.
Cow pie!
Hi, son!
Cow, you already pulled
that stunt wearin' Dad's pants!
Oh, yeah.
Well, does that mean
you're not going to have any of my pie?
Cow, stop followin' me,
I am not gonna eat that pie!
Well, I'm glad that's over with.
No, thanks.
And so, children,
long division is kinda like
Get out of here, Cow!
I don't want none of your stupid pie!
Mister Chicken?
Does the genius have somethin'
to share with the rest of the class?
Well then, Where was I?
Oh yeah, I was teaching.
All right, let's talk about fractions.
Half-brain, half-wit
Shut up! You're gonna get me in trouble.
Chicken? Pie?
Shut up!
Shut up!
In the corner!
Nice toss, Earl!
Throw me another one, eh?
I got it! I got it!
Nice catch.
What's the hurry, Cow?
Haven't tortured me enough today?
Gee, I'm starvin'.
With Cow's stupid pie constantly in my face,
I have not eaten all day.
I could go for a big juicy ham sandwich.
What the?
All right, Cow!
Where did all the dang food go?
All right, Cow, I give up!
I'll try your stupid pie.
Hey, that was pretty good!
Let me have some more of that stuff!
Well, thanks, Cow! I'll see yas later!
You know,
I just don't have the heart to tell him
what the secret ingredient is.
I, Al Hiney,
will now teach you how to bo-wl.
I can't see!
All right, first you need a ball.
Tippy-toe, and tick and roll your ball.
This ball, I'm going to keep.
You don't need pants
for the victory dance ♪
'Cause Baboon
better than Weasel ♪
I.R. Baboon, big
star of cartoon ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.R. Baboon reigns
king in his mind ♪
He's just as good as
the weaselly kind ♪
But round every corner,
he's likely to find ♪
I.M. Weasel.
I.M. Weasel!
I.M. Weasel!
Go on, Timmy.
You can have any pet you want.
I could get a puppy!
Or itty-bitty-kitty!
Or a scorpion!
Or even a naked mole rat!
I say, little boy?
You should consider purchasing me.
I'm an excellent conversationalist,
and I can help you with your long division.
Mommy, Mommy,
I want the funny looking cat!
All right, Timmy, whatever you want!
I.R. making better pet than idiot Weasel!
Which one should I get, Mommy?
Well, since you're such a good boy,
I suppose ya can have 'em both!
You're a boy! I'll call you Spot!
An excellent name.
And I'll call you Fat Head!
You're a good boy, yes!
I got a special treat in my pocket.
Easy, stomach.
Come on, Spot!
Eat 'em up before they get cold!
Oh, I'd rather have some Beluga Caviar,
if you have some?
I'm not really hungry right now.
Maybe you could take us for a walk?
Hey, boys, you want to play fetch?
Do ya? Do ya?
Good one.
You want to see a real trick?
I've built a Tesla Coil out of sticks,
a few rocks and a squirrel.
How many of your pets can do that?
A Tesla coil is an air-core resonate
transformer capable of creating
enormous voltages
and colossal discharges.
You are very cute and fuzzy.
I.R. fetching stick. You see?
Good job, Spot!
Your turn to make potty, Fat Head!
I.R. already making potty!
See for yourself.
Time for bed.
Weasels and Baboons
can't survive under water.
Good night.
Oh, that Timmy good kid.
It's just a shame he doesn't like you
as much as he likes me.
What you mean?
It's obvious.
I'm well-groomed, I am fed regularly,
and I was given this flea collar.
Where as you are
a mangy walking skeleton,
who is virtually ridden with parasites.
Good night.
It's all true!
Spot! Wake up!
Fat Head ran away!
"Dear Timmy -- I.R. running away
forever because you loving Weasel more."
Sweet mother of macaroni!
His grammar is atrocious!
Come, Timmy!
There's only one place
that runaway dogs end up.
Yep, I remember him.
Ugliest German Shepherd I ever saw.
Stupid, too.
Can I see him? Can I see him?
I'm sorry, son.
But after a dog's been here eight minutes,
we send him to the glue factory.
And he's been here nine minutes now.
He's gone, son.
Fat Head!
There, there, Timmy.
There are other baboons
out there with bright red butts.
You can just get a new one.
Please ending cartoon.
I.R. humiliating enough for one day.
Thank you.
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