Criminal Minds s11e17 Episode Script

The Sandman

1 Morgan: Previously on "Criminal Minds" Woman, you are driving me crazy, you know that? Derek? What's going on? I don't know.
Derek! Derek, talk to me.
Derek! Savannah-- call Hotch! Call Hotch! Call Hotch! Are you there? What's wrong?! We did just take down a network of online hitmen, but is this is blowback, why Morgan? Time to die.
Not yet.
Hey.
The next time you ask, I will not be late for you.
Or our son.
I don't know if it's a boy.
It could be a girl.
Will you marry me? Yes.
[Groans.]
Mommy! Mommy, help! Mommy, help me! Ronnie?! Ronnie?! Ronnie! Ronnie! Mommy! Jim, wake up! Wake up! Jim! Aah! Help, mommy! Help! Ronnie, Ronnie, where are you?! Ronnie, where are you?! Ohh! Ohh! Help, mommy! Help! Ronnie, where are you? [Crashing.]
Ohh! Ohh! I can't see! No! Aah! Hey, hey, hey, hey.
There you are.
How are you settling in? Oh, you know.
Like riding a bike.
You know, I've been meaning to ask, um, I've got an opening in my poker group next week.
Why don't you join us.
Oh, my dance card's kind of full these days, Rossi, you know, getting ready for a baby.
Well, that's all the more reason to play, you know, jump-start the kid's college fund with a little money.
Ok.
Ok, I'll see what I can do.
I left a file in the conference room.
I was just in there.
I didn't see any files.
You sure about that? Positive.
No files.
I--I would have noticed.
All right, your eyes are starting to do that little thing that they do.
Let's have it.
Have what? It's not my birthday.
And I said to you, please, no welcome back party.
All right, look, I'm not saying, but I was supposed to distract you, so do me a favor and act surprised when you go in there, all right? All right, I got you covered.
And let's just keep it an extra 30 seconds, just to be sure.
No problem.
So my eyes do this thing, huh? Little bit.
I better work on that before poker night.
[Sighs.]
Surprise! Surprise! Welcome back! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, you didn't.
Savannah: Not my idea, babe.
I was outnumbered.
How long has this been in the works? Oh, two weeks.
You didn't suspect? I, uh, had no idea.
That's good.
A certain amount of cluelessness is nice in a husband.
Ok, hush up.
Amen to that.
A woman is entitled to her secrets, especially from a profiler.
Well, this profiler may not be changing any diapers, but I will tear up some diaper cake.
Oh, you look like a diaper changer to me.
Yes, you will be changing some diapers.
Ladies, I was joking, I was joking.
Look, baby, I was joking.
It was a joke.
Yeah, we're on the way.
I'll activate the Child Abduction Rapid Deployment team from here.
[Knock on door.]
Yeah, thanks.
Come in.
Hey, I have been sent to commandeer you.
Sir, party's in high gear.
There's been a double homicide and a child abduction in Wichita.
[Chatter in next room.]
Uh, I'll go let the others know.
JJ.
Give them 10 minutes.
There's time while the plane's being readied.
Criminal Minds 11x17 The Sandman @elderman Morgan: "Parents are the bones on which children sharpen their teeth.
" Peter Ustinov.
Thank you.
Ronnie Brewer is still missing.
Both parents' eyes were filled with sand and glued shut.
Mr.
Sandman, bring me a nightmare.
This is a well organized unsub.
He managed to kill both parents, perform a complicated ritual, and successfully abduct the boy.
JJ's right.
It's a lot of moving parts for one person to orchestrate.
Could we be looking at a team? This is reminiscent of the killing of the Clutter family in 1959, also in Kansas.
That crime was perpetrated by two ex-cons working together.
The "In Cold Blood" murders.
But that was a robbery gone bad.
It doesn't seem to be the case here.
Well, assuming Ronnie Brewer was the ultimate target, why risk entering the home at all? I mean, wouldn't it be simpler just to grab the kid on the way to school? Well, the abduction of the child from a place of presumed safety must be an essential part of his ritual.
Who knows? Maybe the killer had a score to settle with mom and dad, too.
The sealing of the eyes could indicate remorse.
He didn't want them to see what he was doing to their kid.
Then why not just kill them immediately? I mean, he must have a reason for rendering the parents functionally blind first.
You know, the sand in the eyes could be a purely symbolic gesture.
The Sandman was a mythical character who would sprinkle magic dust in the eyes of children while they slept.
Yeah, but I thought he was a benevolent figure, a bringer of good dreams.
Not always.
In one version of the myth, he would actually pop the eyeballs out of kids to use as food for his own offspring.
Please.
I stand corrected.
All right, when we land, Dave, you and JJ go to the crime scene.
Reid and Lewis to the M.
E.
, and Morgan and I will get set up at the precinct.
An AMBER alert has been issued and police checkpoints have been established here, here, and here.
I understand a witness saw a vehicle leaving the area about the time of the murders? That's right.
A farmhand employed by Mr.
Brewer.
He reported seeing a white male in a gray sedan speeding away.
Did he get the make or model? No.
The car was out on the main road, not the driveway, so the worker didn't think much of it until he discovered the bodies.
About what time was that? Shortly before dawn.
Well, this is a small agricultural community.
If the killer stalked the Brewer family beforehand, someone may have noticed.
Or he could be a seasonal worker with no local connections.
Which would be our worst-case scenario, someone who came from nowhere and is now headed back to nowhere.
Rossi: No tread marks anywhere, the unsub probably parked his car along the main road and walked in, JJ: Does the family have dogs? No.
No security system either.
Well, there's nothing around back.
The garage and storage were unlocked.
And I bet the Brewers probably never locked their front door.
You know, that's not so unusual.
I grew up in a place like this and that's just how it was.
People trusted one another.
Trust is a good thing.
So are deadbolts and a rottweiler.
Hopefully some of this blood's the unsub's and we can pull DNA.
Lyla Brewer's body was found in the hallway.
Her husband never made it out of bed.
He must have been killed first.
Well, it makes sense.
Eliminate the primary threat before moving on to mother and child.
Mrs.
Brewer spent some time stumbling around out here.
And in the child's bedroom and in the bathroom and in the study.
She covered a lot of ground before dying.
There are, uh, fresh scratches on the floor here.
Too heavy for her to have moved.
What if the unsub did it to block the top of the stairs? Seal off the child's escape, maybe? Or prevent a blinded Mrs.
Brewer from taking a fall? Strange that he'd be concerned for her safety right before crushing her skull.
I don't get it.
If the goal was the child and Jim Brewer's attack was quick and lethal, why did the unsub let Lyla stumble around for so long before finally killing her? Good to see you again, Dr.
Reid.
Nice to see you.
Again? Yeah.
We had a case here 4 years ago.
The tornado guy.
That was one for the books.
So do we have a C.
O.
D.
on the victims? Mr.
Brewer's was massive blood loss from a severed trachea, most likely a thin-bladed serrated knife.
And Mrs.
Brewer? Her skull was fractured.
Some type of blunt-force trauma.
It's highly unusual for a killer to use different weapons on different victims.
Speaking of unusual, take a look.
Corneal tissue samples from the eyes of each victim.
Mr.
Brewer's on the left and Mrs.
Brewer's on the right.
Mrs.
Brewer's has many more macrophages.
That's right.
It's a natural immunological response to a foreign substance.
Huh.
The white blood cells in Mr.
Brewer's sample are completely normal.
Plain English--his eyes didn't react to the glue.
Plainer English-- he was already dead when it happened.
Garcia's not coming up with much.
The Brewer family was well-liked.
No known enemies.
What about registered sex offenders in the area? There's over a thousand in Wichita alone.
Garcia's checking them out.
Agent Hotchner.
The body of a young boy was just found.
Where? Prairie Creek Road, a few miles from the crime scene.
The description matches Ronnie Brewer.
News reporter: The child's body has not yet been identified, but there is growing fear that it could be Ronnie Brewer, the boy missing from the attack here in Wichita last night.
Stay tuned-- [dials number on cell phone.]
Hey, Hotch, we're done here.
It's definitely Ronnie.
I recognize him from the family photos.
Body temperature and state of rigor indicates that he's been dead 7 to 8 hours.
So he must have been killed immediately after the abduction.
It doesn't make sense.
All the effort put into taking him.
Well, maybe the compulsion is about the pursuit of the child rather than the child itself.
Well, if that's the case, he's gonna try again soon, with someone else.
Josie! Time to come in.
I'm texting with Gaby.
In a minute.
That's what you said 20 minutes ago.
I want your homework done before dinner.
[Engine starts.]
Unfortunately, all of the blood at the Brewer crime scene was either from Lyla or Jim Brewer.
Nothing from the unsub.
I just talked to the M.
E.
Ronnie Brewer died from asphyxiation but had not been sexually assaulted.
Unless strangling the boy was the sexual release.
Or it could have been the unsub's first abduction and he panicked, disposed of the child immediately once he had him.
The M.
E.
also said that the type of glue in the Brewers' eyes is frequently used for surgical closures, so the drying process on the skin in well documented.
Apparently it had been applied at 5:15 am.
Well, the farm hand said they saw that gray sedan flee the scene at 6:20, so if that was our unsub, what was he doing in the house for that hour? All Josie ever does is stare at that phone.
It's not normal.
She's 13.
It's normal.
Girls her age should be out doing things.
[Chuckles.]
What's so funny? Picturing you a hundred years ago.
"Motor cars aren't normal.
What the hell's wrong with the horse and buggy?" Good night.
Good night.
The glue our unsub used is sold practically everywhere, so we can't isolate point of purchase.
A mineral analysis from the sand, however, indicates that it came from the Seneca River in upstate New York.
You ok? Yeah.
Morgan, we're gonna find the people who tried to kill you.
He was in his pajamas.
Ronnie Brewer.
Out there by the side of the road, he was still in his pajamas.
I'm sorry, kid, I, uh, I don't know, man.
6 months on the sidelines.
I guess I still have a few blisters where I used to have calluses.
I don't think that's what this is.
Oh, no? Then what is it? You're about to be a dad.
You know? You have to expect the world to start to feel different.
It just feels so hard.
Not as in difficult.
Literally hard.
Like asphalt is hard.
Like pavement.
And children are soft.
Yeah.
Defenseless.
That's why every day we try to make this world a little safer.
If there's one thing I'm sure of, is that you and Savannah are going to be great parents.
Charge by the hour, Doc? [Chuckles.]
Aah! Josie?! Josie! [Sobbing.]
Aah! No [Crying, gasping.]
Oh, my God.
Eleven.
Aah! So what do we know? Our father's dead, daughter's missing, but we may have caught a break here.
The mother survived.
Do you know if she's able to talk? No, she just went into surgery.
JJ's at the hospital with here.
But it's definitely our guy.
Glue and sand in both parents' eyes and the father's throat was slit.
I saw an alarm panel by the front door.
It wasn't activated, but it did keep the computerized log of all home activity.
Shows the back door was opened and closed at 3:35 am.
And then again at 4:47 am.
An hour, just like the other attack, but this time he left a witness.
Well, he may have gotten sloppy and assumed she was dead.
I mean, she was found unconscious in a pool of blood.
Family have any other children? Just Josie, the missing daughter.
- How old is she? - 13.
Differential sex offenders usually cross age and gender lines only when their preference isn't available.
And Ronnie Brewer wasn't sexually assaulted, so we may not be dealing with a pedophile.
No, I don't think we are.
This is something else entirely.
We're looking for a family annihilator.
We believe he's a white male in his early to mid-30s.
He is intelligent, well organized, and meticulous.
Family annihilators are often quick and ruthless, but this unsub prolongs the suffering of his victims.
He appears to kill in stages.
First the father, then the mother, and finally the child.
The mother seems to be the primary target of the unsub's rage.
She is forced to endure a sense of helplessness for upwards of an hour while her child is in danger.
So we're dealing with a sadist? Yes, but not sadism as we typically think of it.
Despite the savagery of the attacks, the killer does not derive gratification from inflicting pain.
It's from observing the panic in his victims.
The sadism is psychological.
Morgan: Something may have happened in the unsub's childhood where he felt unprotected.
Perhaps his own mother turned a blind eye to a real or perceived danger.
And this could explain the ritual of placing sand and glue in the parents' eyes, symbolically blinding them as punishment.
Ellie Zumwalt survived her injuries, and this may discourage this unsub and make him more cautious.
Or have the opposite effect.
It could infuriate him and spur him to attack again soon, with increased violence.
Residents in remote or rural areas and families with an only child should exercise extreme caution in the coming days.
Thank you.
Morgan: Still no sign of Josie Zumwalt.
And we scoured every inch of road in a 10-mile radius.
Well, either she's still alive or the unsub did a much better job of body concealment this time.
If he did kill her, why deviate from his previous disposal method? My gut says he's still holding her.
But why her and not the Brewer boy? I'm not sure.
But things didn't go as planned in the second attack.
Ellie Zumwalt survived.
Ok.
Maybe it's like we profiled-- he has to kill sequentially, in the order of the Brewer family murders.
So, until the mother dies, he can't kill the child.
I'll have the hospital beef up security.
Yeah.
Guys.
Take a look at this.
Look at the mantel.
The hourglass.
Yeah, it isn't in the Christmas photo which was only taken a couple months earlier.
Could be a recent purchase or they might have moved it there from some other place in the house.
Except we know the unsub spends an hour at each crime scene.
What if he brought it with him as a kind of timer? Ok.
I'll have Sgt.
Whitfield search the Zumwalt house for a similar hourglass.
It's Hotch.
Ellie Zumwalt is out of surgery and awake.
Thank you.
We appreciate you talking to us, Mrs.
Zumwalt.
We know this is a difficult time.
My husband is dead, isn't he? Hotch: Yes, he is.
We're very sorry.
What about Josie? Is my daughter all right? We're hopeful.
That's why it's important that you tell us everything you can about what happened.
I was asleep, and then there was a scream.
It was Josie.
I woke up, but my eyes wouldn't open.
Josie kept screaming.
And every time I went to where I thought she was, the scream came from somewhere else.
We realize you couldn't see well, but could you make out any features about this man? No.
He--he wore something on his face.
They were like, um, I don't know, glasses.
JJ: Like eyeglasses? No, no.
Bigger than that.
More like, um, like goggles.
That's all I could make out.
Did he speak? Only at the end.
Eleven.
That's all he said.
"Eleven.
" Ms.
Zumwalt, do your or anybody in the family own an hourglass? Police found this in your living room.
I've never seen that before in my life.
Morgan: What you got, baby girl? What I've got is fail, fail, and more fail.
Rossi: Remember Thomas Alva Edison, Penelope.
"I have not failed.
I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
" Ok, let me rephrase what I just said.
I'm currently waist-deep in what is not working.
Despite the distinctive craftsmanship, I cannot figure out who made these hourglasses, and I haven't been able to find a single person who recently relocated from upstate New York to Wichita.
Something must connect our unsub to the Seneca River.
All the sand in the world right here and this guy brings dirt from 1,500 miles away.
Garcia, you confirmed that the hourglasses were handcrafted? Oh, for sure.
We're talking topnotch museum quality, but not by any artisan known in the high-end glass-blowing community, and yes, there is such a thing as the high-end glass-blowing community.
All right, look for boys ages 8 to 12 who were sexually victimized and/or abducted in upstate New York in the mid-1990s, all right? Ok.
Hit you back if and when.
[Exhales.]
They're analyzing the sand from both hourglasses now to see if it matches what was put in the victims' eyes.
So far no prints or DNA.
The unsub's careful.
And precise.
I calculated the width of hourglass necks with the average grain of sand having a .
2-millimeter diameter and a volume of .
0042 cubic millimeters.
Given the weight of the sand, that's a gravity flow duration of 3,600 seconds.
You know, obviously give or take a few.
Skill level off the charts, yet his work is unknown.
Not for sale, not even for display.
This guy operates in a vacuum.
Which speaks to the intensely private nature of his obsession.
Mineral analysis just came in on the hourglass sand.
Also from upstate New York? No, it's local.
Most likely from the Platte River.
What's the matter, Sergeant? It's what they found next to him in the sand.
Human bone and tooth enamel.
Please, don't hurt me.
Please.
[Telephone rings.]
[Ring.]
- Hello.
- Hi there.
Uh, I was trying to call Hotch, but it kept going to voicemail.
He's still at the hospital with JJ.
What's going on? Ok, I did what man chocolate asked.
I got this list.
There are certain things that should never exist, and one of those is this depressingly long list.
Does anything specific jump out at you? Aside from the horribleness of it all, no.
You know, send me all the police, hospital, and child services transcripts associated with the cases.
Everything on all of them? Yeah, I'll print out hard copies here.
Ok.
You're gonna need a forklift, and I hope you're using recyclable paper, but On its way.
All right.
Thank you so much, Garcia.
Why are you doing this? I never did anything to you.
I don't understand.
No, no, no.
Please! Please, I'll be quiet.
I don't want to go in there! I promise I'll be quiet.
No, don't! No, don't! Please, I'll be quiet.
Please! I want to go home! Please! I wonder what the unsub meant by "eleven.
" We know he measures the time spent in each house.
It could be some sort of countdown.
What are you thinking, Aaron? The hospital report on Ellie Zumwalt.
Her injuries were minor.
It was the gradual loss of blood that caused her to lose consciousness.
Well, the unsub must have thought she bled out and left her for dead.
That was his big mistake.
I don't think there was a mistake.
What do you mean? What if Ellie Zumwalt was never meant to die, that the mistake that the unsub made was actually at the first crime scene? The Brewer murders? The guy's a family annihilator.
He killed them all.
To me that sounds like mission accomplished.
We didn't understand why he used two different murder weapons on Jim and Lyla Brewer.
That's because there never was a second weapon.
I'm still not following.
Dave, you said that a large piece of furniture was moved to block the top of the stairs at the Brewer house.
That's right.
JJ and I assumed it was to prevent her from escaping.
I don't think so.
It wasn't to set her up for the kill.
It was to keep her from falling down the stairs and killing herself.
So her skull fracture was what, an accident? The victim was blinded, hardwood floors slippery with blood.
She could have fallen and hit her head on a blunt object.
That means the unsub's plan all along was for both mothers to survive.
Exactly.
But why? That's what we need to figure out.
Josie's fate depends on it.
Found someone.
Who? Patrick Sorenson of Oswego, New York.
He was on Garcia's list of potential victims.
Abducted by a pedophile in 1993 when he was 9, raised by a single mother with substance abuse problems.
A mother who was literally asleep at the wheel when the boy was taken.
She was passed out drunk in her car parked behind their house.
[Voice muted.]
Mommy! The boy said he screamed for help, but the mom never came.
Well, that explains the ritual of blaming the surrogate mother while she sleeps.
And it gets worse.
Listen to this.
While Patrick was recovering in the hospital, the mother left a good-bye note on the kitchen table and was never heard from again.
She abandoned him.
The guilt must have been too much.
Any idea of the whereabouts of Patrick or the mother? The mom never surfaced.
Patrick went into the foster care system and moved back to Oswego, where he lived quietly up until 6 weeks ago, when he vanished without a trace.
Garcia can't even find a picture of him as an adult, but Read that part right there.
It says here Patrick told authorities he got through the assault by focusing on sand.
" Reid: His attacker made him stare at an hourglass while the abuse went on.
He was told that if he didn't cry until all the sand emptied out, he wouldn't be killed.
So the trauma of the assault was fused with the image of an hourglass.
And launched an obsession with time, so much so that he went on to build devices that measure it with extraordinary mathematical precision.
And the police report says he was abducted on a Thursday night at 10:00 and was found released in a park the next morning at 9:00.
11 hours later.
That's what he meant with Ellie Zumwalt.
He was telling her the amount of time that he himself had been held in captivity.
And that may be Josie Zumwalt's timeline.
So the clock is on Ellie, not Josie.
She's got 11 hours to give this unsub what he didn't get from his own mother.
Josie was taken at 4:30 this morning, which means we have until 3:30 this afternoon.
JJ, are you still at the hospital? Good.
Here's what I need you to do.
An apology? We can do it from here.
This room, one cameraman, no reporters.
I don't understand.
The man who took your daughter left you alive intentionally.
ButBut why? Because he needs to hear you express how sorry you are for what happened.
But it wasn't my fault.
Josie knows that I didn't-- I know.
You're not apologizing to Josie.
In fact, don't ever mention her name.
Just refer to her as your child.
Don't even say daughter.
You're really talking to the man who took her.
Well, how do we know he'll be watching? My team's coordinating with local media to get the word out.
He'll be watching.
And if I do this, then he'll let Josie go? There's a chance, yes.
TV reporter: Word just in from a local hospital that Ellie Zumwalt, recovering from injuries suffered in the latest attack on local families, is going to speak to the public within an hour.
We don't know what this unexpected statement will be, but concern is rising for the hours passed with no word on her abducted daughter.
Come on, Penelope, think.
Patrick Sorenson didn't just vanish into thin air.
There's gotta be some way that he [Typing.]
[Beeping.]
Oh, yes, there might be some Thomas Alva Edison in me yet.
Lewis: What do you got, Garcia? What I have got is Betty Cordray of Wichita, Kansas, which I know makes no sense, but actually, Betty Cordray is not Betty Cordray, she's Betty Sorenson of long-lost fame.
Lewis: The mother who abandoned Patrick.
None other.
Hotch: Is she still in the area? No.
She died 6 weeks ago of kidney failure, and then when the paperwork started, you know, the paperwork that happens when you die, her real identity was revealed and Patrick was called as her next of kin.
That must have been the trigger.
That's when he dropped off the map in New York.
Yeah, and if he was holding out hope for answers from that mother one day, that hope was suddenly gone.
Garcia, did Betty Sorenson own any property in the Wichita area? Nope, she lived in a studio apartment.
Then after she died, was she buried or cremated? UhNeither.
She was held in the morgue, Patrick was called to identify her body, but he never showed up.
I guess she's still there? All right, I'll check it out.
Cameraman: We're recording.
This is a message for my child.
If you can hear me, sweetheart, please listen carefully.
There's something I need to tell you.
I've been a bad mother, and I did a terrible thing to let this happen to you.
It's all my fault.
You deserve better than this.
You deserve so much more.
Even though I know you're brave And you're not crying, you need to know I cried for you.
You're so much stronger than I am.
Stronger than I am.
Honey, if you come home safely now, I promise I will love you and hold you and never let any more harm come to you.
If you can hear me now, please call as soon as you can.
You know how to reach me.
I promise I will explain to you once and for all why I did what I did.
Ok, it's over.
You did great.
You did great.
We'll keep bodies on ice for as long as 3 or 4 months.
If nobody claims them by then, they get buried on the city's dime.
And Mrs.
Sorenson's son never showed up? No, ma'am.
We tried to track him down, but This is it.
Pretty sad.
You live your life and you end up like unclaimed baggage.
Hotch, we solved the mystery of the bone fragments in the hourglass.
Patrick was going to have that reunion with his mother, one way or another.
Patrick Sorenson has to be holed up nearby, but where? Someplace secluded, that's for sure.
Hauling a corpse through the front door would tend to perk up the neighbors.
Well, if there was an 11-hour clock on Josie Zumwalt, the bell just rang.
[Door opens.]
Don't hurt me.
Please.
Please.
Call her.
What? Your mother.
[Cell phone rings.]
[Ring.]
Hello? Mom? Is that you? Are you all right, sweetheart? I want to come home, Mom.
Keep it going.
Keep it going.
You will.
You will, soon.
But first I need to explain to you why I wasn't there to protect you.
What are you talking about? It wasn't your fault that-- Yes.
Yes, it was.
I need to explain to you why I did the things I did.
I have an addiction, and it kept me from being the mother I should have been for you.
An addiction? Why are you-- No, no, don't interrupt me, please.
You just need to listen.
Listen carefully.
I know you're brave.
I know you don't cry.
But you need to come home.
Come back to our house.
He's not gonna let me.
You have to come back to me! Do you hear me, Josie? Josie! Josie?! Don't! Don't! Please don't lock me in here! Don't! Please! No! I just want to go home! Please! Lies.
Lies.
Lies! I said her name.
I forgot.
[Sobbing.]
It's all right.
Garcia, were you able to trace it? No.
I was so close.
But I have the cell tower it pinged off of.
I just sent that to your phones.
What's this area like, Sergeant? Mostly blue-collar residential.
What about that area? It looks pretty secluded.
That's where the old railroad spur line used to come into town.
Mostly just abandoned structures out there now.
Rossi: We're on it.
There.
Gray sedan.
New York plates.
Ellie's voice: I've been a bad mother.
I did a terrible thing to let this happen to you.
It's all my fault.
I have an addiction.
You're so much stronger than I am.
Time's up, Patrick! Drop the weapon! [Josie screams.]
Yaaah! [Laughter.]
Rossi: Ok, bet's to you, General.
All right, I see you and raise you 10 bucks.
Oh, hell, no.
I'm out.
Too rich for me.
All right, that general's out.
And the host makes 3.
Ok, I'm really trying to figure out which one of y'all is bluffing.
The retired marine general of Mr.
Rock and Roll hall of fame over here.
This hand's too good to waste on a bluff.
Ooh.
[Laughter.]
Is that the lyric to one of yours songs, Joe? [Laughter.]
All right, I think both of y'all are bluffing.
So here's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna see your 10 and I'm gonna raise you 20.
Mm-mm-mm.
What you think about that? Step up.
Seriously.
"Never interrupt an enemy when he's making a mistake.
" Ooh! Sun Szu, "Art of War," a book I believe both of these generals my be familiar with.
Come on, rock star.
Ok, it's on you, Joe.
Rossi: Ok, ok.
3 kings.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
Whoa! Full house.
Marines have landed.
Ok, I don't know if you're ready what I got right here.
Rossi: Oh, I think we're ready.
Because in the words of Mr.
Withers Ain't no sunshine in these cards.
[Laughter.]
Oh, man! All right, all right, all right.
No, wait.
We agreed 25% of every pot goes to the baby Morgan tuition fund.
Morgan: Much appreciated.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Where is this child going to school, Harvard and Yale? [Laughter.]
Hey, listen, I really appreciate you letting me rob you for the night, but, uh, I gotta get up out of here.
Come on come on.
For what? You get 25% out of each pot just for sitting there.
- Ok, look here, pops-- - Said the weasel.
[laughter.]
Ok, ok, I clearly cannot compete at this table, but, uh, look, I gotta go hang out with wifey.
We're taking those Lamaze lessons.
Lamaze.
Is that where they do the breathing that ease the pain? Yeah, it actually works.
You know, you breathe fast and then slow, you know, like [Panting.]
I don't know, like-- like a dog or something.
I wouldn't touch that line with a road crew tour bus.
Do you remember everything you've ever touched? I'm just saying.
[Laughter.]
Gentlemen, seriously, this has been a pleasure.
Don't hurt yourselves tonight, all right? Take care of yourself.
All right, Morgan-- All right.
Later.
All right, everybody in.
Come on.
Come on, let's go.
Ante up.
Ante up.
[Chatter and laughter.]
Morgan: "Lucky I'm sane after all I've been through.
Life's been good to me so far.
" Joe Walsh.
Hey.
Hey, beautiful.
How was the poker game? Mmm.
Ah.
Broke even.
Oh.
ButThis little one chillin' inside your beautiful belly didn't do so badly.
[Laughs.]
Whatever that means.
Don't worry about it.
There's, uh, one more thing.
Garcia, she asked me about a week ago, who the godparents were gonna be, as in, hello, like I'm right here, like right in front of you.
She'll be wonderful, but I have a few folks on my side of the aisle lobbying for the same position.
Oh, Lord.
So what are we doing, godparenting by committee? May have to be.
[Gunshot.]
Derek! @elderman