Dating Around (2018) s01e03 Episode Script

Lex

1 ["You're The One" playing] I want you to want me  [woman] Lex is like the Asian James Dean.
He is the white T-shirt-wearing, tattooed, black jeans, earrings.
He is incredibly creative, and he is everything that I would look at if he was coming down the street.
You know I want you, baby  You know I do  [woman] Lex is pretty guarded, but when he falls for somebody, he falls pretty hard.
'Cause I do it for the thrill  For the rush  I do it for the pain  [woman] Outwardly, Lex is very tough.
Um, even in his appearance, but he is incredibly sensitive and emotional.
Baby, you're the one  You're the one  You're the one  You're the one  Cory? - No, sorry.
- Fuck! Sorry! [chuckles] You're the one  [man] Hey.
- Cory? Hey.
- I'm Cory.
- Good to see you.
How's it going? - Nice to meet you.
- Lex, right? - Yeah.
- How's it going? - You know.
So um - So, have you been here before? - No, I haven't.
Have you? No.
Want to hop inside and grab a drink? Yes, I do.
Okay.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
[Lex] How'd you get those jeans on? [Mic] I know.
I always wonder.
- Do you baby-powder first? - Oh, no.
How are you gonna get them off later? Well, there's a trick to do it.
I'm sure there is.
- Um - [both laugh] That is a jacket! Yeah.
No, I got it, um, like seven months ago.
- Yeah.
- And I waited until it was on sale.
I love a good mermaid fabric.
And we're 'stache bros over here.
- Oh, yeah.
That's right.
- That's hilarious.
- You have a 'stache too.
- But I don't wax mine.
- Do you wax yours? - Yeah.
I started, like This is, like, about a year-and-a-half old.
- Okay.
- This mustache.
I just always like to change my look up.
- Yeah.
- So I was just like-- Hence the reversible sequins.
[laughs] Exactly.
I get bored too quickly.
You look like you have a blue ox parked outside.
- I You know, my Wisconsin roots.
- Do you get that a lot? - You're from Wisconsin? - Grew up in Wisconsin.
- How about you? - Midwest boy.
- I am.
- Um, Southern California.
- I've been in New York for 18 years now.
- Okay.
So, do you blind date often? I actually have not been on a blind date.
I like it more if it happens organically.
But I haven't been, like, on a real date, like, in a long time.
I don't think I've ever been on a true, actual blind date.
- Here's to first blind dates.
- Woo! I think the thing is, I've been set up before.
So it's kind of a blind date, right? Like, you've never met them.
But - there's a friend, an introduction-- - 'Cause, like, "This is Jon.
" There's that crazy Internet search, where you find out everything you can.
- Creepy? - A little creepy, but you know.
- Do you do the stalking? - Yeah, I kind of do this.
So actually, funny story, I had to stop using Tinder.
Um, because I did way too much stalking.
We're chatting, "What do you do for work?" Meanwhile, I knew their employment history, 'cause I had already found all of that information out.
You're so cute for a creepy person.
- Uh, so what do you do? - I'm a production designer.
So I design scenery and costumes for theater.
Oh, nice.
I came to New York to be an actor.
Get the fuck out! - Yes.
- Wait, did you go to school for acting? I did.
I went to school.
Uh, I was trained classically as an actor, but I never really did that.
Okay.
Why not? Um, I mostly did musicals.
I grew up singing.
Like, that's my thing.
Does Do you, like, turn everything into a song? - Uh, when appropriate.
- Or when no one's looking.
- Or when no one's looking.
- Right, right.
- [laughs] - [Lex] So, um, what about you? What do you do for work? - Um, I work in real estate development.
- Oh, shit.
That's fun.
I used to run a business called Moviefone.
Get the fuck out! Really? Yeah.
Basically, I'm in fashion.
Good for you.
I don't know, maybe because I'm Italian or something, but I love fashion.
- I'm a songwriter.
- Oh, you're a songwriter? Yeah.
But I also dog-walk.
I do, like, a bunch of things, manage social media.
Anyway, I'm, like, digressing.
Recently, we sold Moviefone to MoviePass-- Right.
See this empty finger? [Brad laughs] Too forward, Lex.
I can read you one of my songs.
By all means.
"I thought this would be the summer that I would sink Because I was barely making enough for one soul But God sent me a job to save my wings And now I'm raking in more cash than the leaves of fall" Uh, so, I did a show called Seussical.
- "Oh, all the things you can think.
" - "Oh, the thinks you can think," yes.
- So, who did you get to play? - I was Wickersham.
A Wickersham brother.
Okay.
So you played a monkey.
I did.
I'm impressed.
- Are you? - Yes, yes.
First came out to my parents at I want to say 23.
I should know that date better, but, um, going through every conversation, every way my parents could react, - and I was convinced, like-- - It was gonna be bad.
You know, Dad was gonna be like, "Get the fuck out.
" Like, I was petrified.
But, you know, I was like, "I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna come out," 'cause I just felt so alone and, like So, finally, I just, like, blurted it out at them at the dinner table.
And they were both like - "And?" - "Okay.
" And my dad was like, "Should we open a bottle of Maker's Mark?" - What? - So it's great.
That is the best thing I think that I could have ever heard.
- It went well.
- Yeah.
How about you? Um, similar.
On the phone with a much older boyfriend.
He was like, "Hey, so, I can't, um, keep coming over to your house and, like, telling your mom that I'm your math tutor" - Oh, yeah.
- "'cause I'm terrible at math, and it's a lie.
" I was like, "Okay, hold on.
" I went to the kitchen.
I was like, "Mom, remember when you used to ask me every Saturday during breakfast if I was into boys or girls?" And she was like, "I know.
" And I was like, "Yeah.
" And she goes, "Go set the table.
" - I was like, "Oh, okay.
" - That's really sweet.
So it was fine.
No, but I I feel very lucky.
"I'm ready to blow my load I'm ready to spend money on everything I'm ready for the summer of sin I see the Versace jeans across my wet dreams And feel the soothing, sweet touch of erotic massage I'm gonna dive hard with lust in my hand Hand on my heart Watch out, my friends I'm rising the charts" And then it's the same basically, the same thing.
What do you think? Um It depends on the situation.
I'm very comfortable being in the background.
You know.
I mean, it's what I do for work.
- Um-- - Which is not usual for creative people.
- The the thing - 'Cause they're very much prima donnas.
Yeah, but the thing that I put forward is my work, right? It's not me.
And, like, I kind of I have a real problem with people who who are prima donnas.
Don't get me wrong.
- Are you saying I'm a prima donna? - She can be a prima donna.
- I'm sure she can.
- Yes, she can.
I think that might be the first time I've ever used a female pronoun in reference to myself.
- [Mic laughs] I do it all the time.
- That kind of felt really good, actually.
It was kind of empowering.
It's proud, you know.
We're proud of this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
[chuckles] - Hi, guys.
Um, your table is ready.
- [Lex] Hi.
- You can follow me.
 And grab your drinks.
- [Lex] Fantastic.
- [Mic] After you.
- [Lex] Oh.
All right.
[woman] Right this way.
So, how long did you say you played a monkey for? - [laughs] Uh, six months, just about.
- Uh-huh.
- [woman] Here's the menus.
- Thanks.
And that was fun? Yes, it was a very good time.
Have you ever gone on a date with somebody and ended up not dating them, but walking their dog? I actually ended up meeting this guy.
I told him I was a dog walker.
At first, he was like, "Oh, let's hook up.
" And then he was like, um 'Cause I kept blowing him off, 'cause I was really focusing on a job, - but I think he-- - "Why blow him off when I can blow him?" Yeah, exactly.
So he was he was like "I'll let you fuck me if you walk my dog.
" And I'm like, "How about no? How about I just fuck you, and then you pay me to walk your dog?" And then, eventually, we ended up having sex anyway, but where, like, there was no, like, barter of goods.
But did you ever walk his dog? No.
So, when did you decide you were a gaymo? Yeah, I was I was a sophomore in in college.
And-- I bet you were so cute as a sophomore in college.
Um, I had studied religion.
I had taken a lot of classes.
I, like, wanted to be I wanted to work in ministry.
- Okay.
- And I just kind of had a crisis of faith.
So, did you've to decide where you're like, "Oh, I kind of want to be a pastor, but, like, I kind of want to suck dick"? Uh, yeah, that was problematic.
I thought that I had some sort of affliction - Uh-huh.
- that God was going to heal me of, and I was just gonna figure it out one day.
That's the first time I ever let myself deal with the fact that I might be gay.
You know, that I might have this identity.
That's really, um I didn't absolutely didn't expect that.
- Yeah.
- I grew up, um not that religious.
I mean, kind of.
But I knew at a very young age, regardless of religion, that, like loving somebody of the same gender could never be a bad thing.
Wow.
So, you do you have siblings? Yes, one older brother.
- Okay.
- [Brad] He's twenty twenty months older than me, I think.
It's really tight.
22 months.
I just had to do math in my head.
That was tough.
I'm the youngest of four.
The little prince in the family.
I've two older half siblings: an older half brother and older half sister.
He had twins recently.
- So you're a "guncle"? - I'm a "guncle.
" I am.
My sister has a son, a five-year-old boy.
He's everything.
And they actually call me guncle, - which is really cute.
- Oh.
That's sweet.
- I have two lady nieces.
- Oh, really? They're total terrors, but they're delightful.
- So, I used to play football.
- Like, in college? Uh, played in college, and then briefly, uh, had a cup of coffee with the Arizona Cardinals, so - What? - Yeah, it was-- So you're technically, like a pro-football player.
Was.
Still not doing it, but, yeah.
But, but Okay.
You realize you're every homosexual's wet dream, right? You just like the long hair and the helmet and the pads.
Um, that's fun.
But I don't watch football anymore.
I've - You don't? - No, not at all.
- Okay.
We have that in common.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
We - Perfect.
- Fuck football.
Fuck football.
I play rugby still.
So I've got a bunch of things wrong with my body.
Will you excuse me as I adjust the things that are wrong with my pants right now? [woman] Guys.
- Thank you very much.
- [woman] Salmon.
- [woman] Duck.
- [Lex] Oh, shit, you win.
- I've got brussels sprouts with this.
- [Lex] And you've got sprouts.
- You want to share some? - Yes, I do.
I have definitely wandering fork syndrome.
- [woman] Salmons.
- Awesome.
This looks amazing.
I don't know how to do this.
Yes, you do.
You pick up your fork and knife.
[chuckles] - [woman] Enjoy.
- Cheers.
Cheers.
[clink] [Mic] Living in New York City it's just like, you know, we can experience everything and anything, so-- Have you experienced everything and everything? Let me put it this way.
[in Italian] Top orbottom? I only experience once, - if that's what you mean.
- You experienced one? - Yeah.
I only like one side.
- Can I guess? - I'm sure you know.
- [in Italian] Bottom? No.
Mmm! [chuckles] So [in Italian] top.
Let's change topic here.
Why not? Why? Does that make you uncomfortable? I feel like as a first date, we can skip on that conversation.
Doesn't that inform a second date? Second date, we can talk about it.
Okay.
So, how is your dating life? Nonexistent.
Mmm! - Oh, no.
- But my hookup life-- - Why is that? - My hookup life is existent, but it's not too existent.
Um Why is that? Well I feel like, you know, you being gay as well, everyone just wants to have sex.
And they you know, they like the idea of a relationship, but, then, when it comes to actually dating, no one wants to date.
I almost feel like I'm kind of a piece of meat, - they only see me-- - I don't see you as a piece of meat.
[laughs] Well, thank you.
So why are you single right now? [Lex] Uh, hmm.
Well [clears throat] could be because of work.
Um One of the reasons is sort of practical.
I'm out of town a lot for work.
And so it's sort of hard to I mean, you know what it's like.
You'll meet somebody and there is this sense of, like, not good enough.
- Hmm.
- [Lex] Right? Whether that is, like you're not athletic enough, you're not white enough, you happen to be a subcategory of a minority.
Okay.
- As a gaysian.
- [chuckling] Okay.
But, like, I'm not gonna pine over someone who's not interested in me, because, like it's just not worth it.
And I don't want to be some version of me that other people want me to be.
I don't know.
I sort of, for a long time, I've been, like, turned off to dating.
I think gay men have a case of what I like to call "next best thing-itis.
" So it's just a function of where they'll like, "Oh, yeah.
Like, you're fun for now.
You check a couple boxes for now.
But I'm gonna, like, always keep my eye open for, like, the next best thing.
" - Yes.
- Right? - Which, like - You're so true.
- I don't have any patience for.
- Right.
Am I your best? [Lex laughs] Oh, you do have a very confident cannoli, don't you? [chuckles] Yeah.
Love that.
Um, eventually, I do want to have a - [no dialog] - a partner and kids.
Oh.
But my main goal is I'm focusing on my song songwriting.
Yeah, so if a relationship happens, a relationship happens.
And if it doesn't, then - you know, whatever.
- Right.
- I'll just wait.
- Right.
The waiting game.
Yeah.
Wait.
So, you're a gaysian.
- I am, as are you.
- I am.
- Yes.
- Do you suffer from the glow? I do.
Do you? The Asian flush.
It's like a chemical thing.
I'm pretty sure it's an enzyme.
And my brother told me I guess I was probably like 18 or 19, "Are you taking your Pepcid AC?" I was like, "What?" And he was like, "You gotta take your Pepcid AC or you're gonna turn red.
" I was like, "I am turning red.
" He said, "That's how you stop it.
" And I was like, "All right.
" And to this day, if I know I'm gonna be doing any sort of drinking, yes, Pepcid AC is always before I leave the house.
Did you take one today? - I did take one today, but, uh-- - Ah.
- Do you want to grab another drink? - Yeah.
I might switch it up.
- I might get a different drink.
- All right.
Great.
[Mic sighs] [Lex] Did you get your purse? - I did.
- Great.
- Always with me.
- First, first.
[Lex] When you were a football player, did you have long hair? Yeah.
I grew it out, and it was just these, like, beautiful, luscious locks.
Wait.
Is it beautiful, luscious locks now? I I think that they look great.
They have a little ways to go.
- You want to see? - I do.
I'll just pull it out.
It's all tied up.
We got it out.
It's-- Wait.
Hang on here.
- It's not-- - Wait.
I have such hair envy.
[Brad chuckles] [Peter] A lot of my friends that are in the dating scene, like, have, like their go-to things that they do.
Like there's always the same restaurant that they go to or-- How boring.
- Kind of, right? - Yeah.
Um, I mean, for a while, I was in that rut as well.
Somewhere, I got self-conscious of that.
I bet you these servers just think I'm a big, old ho, so - They probably do.
- I mean, I'm okay with that.
- But they they probably are as well.
- [laughs] So [Lex] Have you ever felt, like, heartbroken by a breakup? Yes.
I feel like, you know, it really hurt me.
Um, in the end, it was more my call.
What about you? Like, did you I'm sure you experienced the same, right? Yeah.
No, I've experienced a lot of heartbreak, I think.
Because I think it's hard to find a connection with people and I think that once you do find that connection, you have to make yourself vulnerable.
And that's not something that I normally do.
- You've probably found out that like - Right.
I'm quick to make jokes, right? Yeah.
Oh, I got that.
- Yeah, totally.
- And it If I do that, it means that I'm protected.
And if I'm protected, like, you can't hurt me.
You feel like, you know, you're in your comfort zone.
Right.
[Lex] Well, this was fun.
- [Lex] I'd love to hang out again.
- [Mic] We should.
[Lex] Yeah.
[Jonathan] What you doing next weekend? [Lex] Um Next weekend, I'm out of town.
So, you come here often? - I've been here a few times.
- Okay.
Hi.
Can I get a just a bourbon on the rocks? [woman] For you? - Glenfiddich 15.
- [woman] Glenfiddich? [woman] Okay.
Scotch.
Does that put you to sleep? [Lex chuckles] - You trying to put me to sleep? - [Cory laughs] It's a great end to the date, right? - Cheers.
- Cheers.
To sleepy time.
[both chuckle] I feel like you have a drag name.
- Uh, I might dabble in the drag arts.
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah? - Her name is Queer Wang.
- Queer Wang.
- She's a lovely, lovely lady.
You got pictures? I have I have a few.
I have a couple.
- That's a pretty good one of her.
- Oh, shit.
Hey, Queera.
[Peter laughs] - [Peter] She is pretty.
- [Lex] Black magic! [Peter] I know.
- [Brad] I've only done drag once.
- Okay.
But people are caught off-guard by my collection of heels or the three wigs that are hanging on the wall for no reason.
Wait, but that's perfect.
I mean, like, that The balance is what counts, I think, right? I'm a butch queen at heart, so-- Wait.
That's fantastic.
- [Lex] I have a drag name.
- What is it? It's, uh, Contasia Bamboo.
Contasia Bamboo.
Does that connect to your your stereotypical bamboo tattoo over here? Oh, wow.
You just called my bamboo tattoo stereotypical.
You're a cunt.
- Do you have tattoos? - No.
I have no threshold for pain.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
How'd you get rid of your unibrow? So rude.
[laughing] Do people go on dates with you like, "Oh, yeah, like, big 6 ft.
4?" Six foot-four, yeah.
"You know, size 14 shoe.
Big, scruffy rugby dude.
Like he's gonna be a beast and, like fuck the hell out of me in the bedroom"? And then they see the heels and they're just like, "Hold up.
" - I mean, the heels-- - Are there expectations? I think people probably have expectations.
And it sounds like you're more of a, like, "Listen, whatever I can do to you, you can do to me" type of person? Mmm I'd say I'm I'm very dominant in most situations.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- I'm very driven by being told, like, "No, you can't do this"-- I don't think we should have a second date.
Well, challenge accepted.
Oh, okay.
- I really enjoyed my first blind date.
- [Cory] Yeah? Were you nervous at all? Mmm no.
It is kind of exciting, right, to meet a complete stranger? - Totally.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I feel like a lot of people do that for different reasons online.
[both laughing] True.
Ours are quite innocent by comparison.
I'm I'm really glad that my first blind date wasn't blindfolded ass-up.
'Cause that would be awkward.
- Do you want to share a Lyft home? - Yeah.
Well, um Yeah, maybe we should get out of here.
Let's go.
After you.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
Do you mind making the air, like, a little lower, please? Well, um I feel like I should get your number.
Okay.
- Right? - Yeah.
'Cause, like Gotta get my phone out.
Here.
We never even did last names, right? No, because I know exactly what's gonna happen if I give you my last name.
[Cory chuckles] 'Cause I was doing most of the talking, I felt that you weren't that into me.
So, I want to know if you're interested in, like meeting, like, for another date? Um I don't know about another date, - but I would definitely be interested in-- - Friendship? - Yeah.
- No, that's great.
[Lex] Let's do it.
- Pleasure to meet you, Peter.
- Likewise.
Let's do this again soon.
- Yeah.
For sure.
Good night.
- You too.
[Jonathan] I can't open this door.
This almost looks like an ashtray, the way it's set up.
But it's actually the handle of the door.
Good night.
Thanks.
- So, this is my stop.
- All right, Brad.
- [Lex] Hope to see you soon? - Absolutely.
Okay.
Let's make it happen.
You'll text or call? - I will.
- All right.
- [Cory] I had a really good time.
- Me too.
- Goodnight.
- Okay.
Have a good night.
[Cory] Bye.
[sighs] [sighs wearily] ["Reunion" playing] You came out of nowhere  Stealing my heart and brain  Flaming my every cell  [man] Hi.
Hey.
- How're you doing? - How are you, Daddy Longlegs? - [Cory] Good to see you.
- Good to see you too.
- Ooh, it's warm today.
- I know.
Do you have high heels on your shirt? I do.
I mean, I figure if I'm gonna go on a date with a baby giraffe, - I should wear my heels.
- [Cory laughs] No, you look good.
- I'm glad you came.
- Well, that's really good to hear.
- Um, if you want to go in, I have tickets.
- Let's do it.
[Lex] So did you stalk me? I didn't yet.
- You didn't? Really? - I didn't.
[Cory] Um, I don't know your last name.
[Lex] Oh.