Dating Around (2018) s01e05 Episode Script


1 - For Sarah? - [man] Sarah? Yeah.
["Seasons (Waiting On You)" by Future Islands playing] [seat belt clicks] [man] Sarah's my roommate, and she's quite the handful to live with.
Sarah is constantly falling for the wrong type of guy and then thinking that she doesn't deserve better.
'Cause I've been waiting on you  Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh  I've been waiting on you  I would say that most men Sarah has dated are unremarkable and Sarah needs to find a man who values her.
As it breaks  The summer awaits  [woman] I've known Sarah for about two years.
She's this perfect mix of nerdy, but also kind of sexy and cute.
She definitely talks a lot.
[laughs] You got to be a listener.
'Cause I've been waiting on you  - Hey.
- Hey.
- Sarah? - Wow, hi.
Are you Nick? - Yes.
- Hi.
So nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
- I've heard a lot about you.
Actually, I've heard nothing about you.
I was about to say, "No, I've heard nothing about you.
" Can I see some ID? - Yeah, let me go check real quick.
- Okay.
You can't see mine just as a-- - Then I'm not gonna give you mine.
- Fair.
That's fair.
It's got to be reciprocated.
- [laughs] Yeah.
- Want to go inside? - Let's go inside.
- After you.
- Did you find the place all right? - Yeah.
- Good.
- I know Brooklyn a little bit.
- You do? - I hang out across the street a lot, but-- Oh, you do? Do I sense a Brooklyn accent on you? No, it's Queens.
- Queens! - My father is from Brooklyn.
Oh, okay.
- What part of Queens? - Bayside.
- Okay.
- Are you from New York? - I am not from New York.
- I could've told.
- Can you guess where I'm from? - Absolutely not.
You're like, "No.
" [laughs] So, Sarah - You're John? - Hello.
- Hi.
John? - That's what they call me.
- Mr.
J-- - Yeah, it's like a nickname.
- [laughs] - Are you You're from the northeast.
I think I hear, like, a northern-- - I'm from New York.
- Okay.
I thought I heard a Yankee lilt.
- What is a Yankee lilt? - [mimics New York accent] Like, New York.
- You're from New York.
- New York? I sound like that? - Yeah! - I grew up in Rockaway Beach.
Do you like the Ramones? Yeah, of course.
They have a summer house one block away from me.
- Shut the front door.
- Yeah.
What the Franklin Delano? That's crazy.
[laughs] Yeah, so, I like that one.
You mind if I use that? You can borrow it.
[laughs] I was born in Dominican Republic, then I came here when I was three-- - Okay.
- Listen, my childhood was very different than a lot of the kids that were born here.
- Okay.
- Where are you from? - Charlotte, North Carolina, honey.
- I've been there before.
I went to a place called Fayetteville.
- Oh, "Fayettevull.
" - "Fayettevull"? - "Fayettevull," not Fayetteville.
- My accent makes me say Fayetteville.
It's "Fayettevull," honey.
[both laughing] So, what do you do for work? I am a real estate agent.
- Can you hook me up with a sweet deal? - Absolutely.
Well, I'm a firefighter.
- Oh, that's awesome! - Yeah.
And a DJ.
I'm actually in a band.
We play hip-hop and rock.
That's cool.
I work for one of my good friends.
He owns a nightclub and - Wow.
- It's a strip club.
[both laugh] I'm a design technologist, which is a fancy way of saying I'm a web designer - Cool.
- slash user-experience designer.
I could probably chat your ear off about it, but-- No, please do.
I-- My job is recruiting for data scientists.
- Oh, wow.
- Do you work with any robotics? No, I don't, but I think they're really cool, super fascinating.
- It's pretty wild.
- It's pretty crazy, right? - It's like Willy Wonka Factory wild.
- Yeah.
Oh! [both laughing] So, what did you do to come out here, if you don't mind me asking? Uh, when I came out here-- Um, I always wanted to move to New York.
I've seen Rent, like, 35 times.
- I love-- - Damn! Oh, well, you didn't have to react like that! - I did.
 Like 35? - I just-- - That's a lot.
- I just-- [laughs] I just love New York.
Then, one day, like, I had became a flight attendant, and I'd, like, pop in for, like, 12 hours, and then just be like, "See ya.
" Um, and then fly back out.
And then, I wanted to move to New York, and I wasn't really seeing my career taking off Pun completely intended, being a flight attendant.
- Right.
- So Um so, like, I moved here, and immediately moved in with a guy I was seeing at the time, and then that ended up being - um terrible.
- Hey.
- Hello.
- Do you want to grab a drink? - Yes.
- Want to do drinks this evening? Two glasses of water to start.
- Is that okay? - Yeah.
No, that's great, actually.
Very responsible.
I like that.
I can't even pronounce that.
Narra - Wait.
- Naragans-- - Let me pronounce it first.
- Okay.
I'll give you your-- - Then you correct me, all right? - Okay.
Narragansett? - Yes! - Yeah? [both laughing] I just go for white wine.
Like, white wine will get me hyped up, - like two, three glasses of wine.
- Yeah! Me too.
For me, whenever I go out with my girls and just, like, talking shit about everything in our lives, - we'll get-- - I'm sure you talk a lot of shit, right? [laughs] - What makes you think that? - I feel like you have a lot to say.
You could say that.
I'm just saying.
You're not disagreeing.
I'm not I mean, I don't-- I don't-- I just-- I don't-- I don't know.
Well - I have your table ready right over here.
- Great.
- Do you want to follow me? - Awesome.
[laughs] So I want to know something.
Yeah, you want to know what? Tell me about your dating life here in New York, 'cause it's crazy out here.
It is.
I would describe it as insane.
Um My dating life Woof! Um So my experience with dating apps is, like I'll always, like Sometimes, you know, you go through a period of sexual anorexia where you're like, "I'm not gonna sleep with anybody," and then you get tired of that.
And then you're just like left-swiping, left-swiping, left-swiping.
You could find endless reasons to say no and I think that that's so shallow.
- I hate it.
- I hate the apps.
I hate the apps.
I've never gotten a date from an app.
- Oh, no, but you're cute.
- I'm cute.
You're right, but I'm not - Yes.
So are you.
You're very cute-- - Thank you.
You seem to not do well with the apps either.
- I have a lot of energy.
I am a handful.
- You are a high-energy person.
[laughs] So, tell me about your last girlfriend.
Well, I've always been attracted to, like, older girls for some reason.
- We dated for two and a half years.
- Wow.
It's kind of putting me on the spot, but she's a finance person.
- Yeah, no, look.
It was-- - Wow.
I thought I was in love.
You know, I just think that it's hard to form a connection in New York.
I kind of guess I mixed love with, like, obsession.
- Yeah - And, like, it just didn't work out.
I still have love for her.
- But I'm not in love with her.
- Yes.
We were together for five years.
- Five years, man.
That's a long time.
- That is a long time.
- So, what are you thinking about? - Um Maybe the big salad.
How are you feeling? Let's see what kind of salad they have.
Um, apparently, one that is big.
Big salad - of cooked and pickled raw vegetables.
- That caught your attention? - Yeah.
- You like it big? [laughs] The salad.
 The salad.
The big salad, I wonder, if that's like paying homage to Elaine from Seinfeld.
- Don't know if you're a Seinfeld person.
- Shut up! - Yeah, I totally am.
- Yeah, the big salad.
I've been known to dance like Elaine Benes.
- Oh, little kicks? - Yeah.
Yeah? Oh, goodness.
That's a good look.
- Yeah? It's a good look? [laughs] - Yeah.
- Hopefully.
- How's it go again? It's just like [laughs] - That's actually pretty good.
- Thank you.
That's really good.
 I'm impressed.
- It's one of my main selling points.
- Bravo.
That's part of your appeal.
What do you like to eat normally? I'm kind of simple.
Um - Okay.
- I've cooked at the firehouse before.
- Stir-fry.
- Are you the cook or-- - No, not the cook.
I have cooked.
- Cooker? [laughs] When you're stressed, you're a pressure cooker? Yeah, no.
You really love puns.
- [laughing] I do, so much.
- You really do.
It's terrible.
I'm just saying, I don't know, but you have about three more puns.
I'll give you three more puns throughout the course of the night, and that's it though.
It's too many puns.
I've never-- I've never encountered so many puns in my life.
Oh, my God.
You're a headache.
- Um - Sorry, honey.
- But you're a cute headache.
- Thank you.
So it's all right.
Um - Have a steak - Oh, wow.
Thank you so much.
With jalapeño.
Do you share food? - I am a food sharer.
 What about you? - Yeah, totally.
- My attitude-- - We should've planned that before we both got the same thing.
So we're both gonna do these onions, right? - Definitely.
Are you freaking kidding me? - Okay.
It's social suicide.
I just want to make sure that we're both on the same page here.
I like to think that this is how you find friends that care about you as a person and not just the way that you smell.
- Cheers.
- Cheers to not making new friends.
[Matt] Mmm.
To smelling like onions.
That's nice.
You got something.
[mumbles indistinctly] - Well, cheers.
- Cheers.
- What kind of wine is this? - Syrah.
You like Syrah? That's your style? I like Syrah, Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon.
- Mmm.
- I feel it depends on what I am eating.
It needs to pair well with the meal.
I haven't-- I don't have enough of a palate for Merlot yet, - so I'm really into Pinots.
- Have you seen Sideways? - Of course.
"We're not drinking Merlot!" - "Oh, we're not drinking any Merlot!" That's the only fucking thing I know.
I was gonna say, the only thing I know about wine is-- [both] Paul Giamatti-- Fuck.
Shut up.
[laughs] - That was cute.
- That was cute.
- Kind of cute.
- That was kind of cute.
Just more steak.
That's cute, too.
[laughs] I actually sing jazz, so I love jazz as a form of expression.
Yeah? Can I hear a note? Um - Sure.
Let me just-- - Right now? - You want to bite into the salad? - Want to take a bite first? - I think I'm good.
- [laughs] Yeah, you don't want anything in your throat, right? I guess that's a preparation, right, before you're ready to sing, you have to have your throat clear? [laughs] Um, you know, I have a little bit of a headache, and I do have, like, an early-morning meeting with a client, so thank you so much for, like, coming out and meeting me.
I really appreciate it.
It's been a very interesting evening um, but I think I might skedoodle, if that's cool.
Finish your drink first or have a piece of the salad or something.
I think I'm okay.
I think I'm good.
Thank you though for coming out.
I really appreciate it.
- You sure? - Yeah.
My head hurts so bad.
Have a good night, though.
- All right, take care.
- I like your shirt.
[laughs] So, like, when was your last date? - It was, like, a post-work drink.
Um - Okay.
We didn't have a fucking thing in common.
[laughs] - Don't you love those, though? - Um, yeah.
I learned a lot about myself.
But, like, it's not about agreeing.
- Yeah.
- It's about engaging and communicating.
- That's the important part.
- Yes.
Communication's key.
- Yeah.
- We can agree on that.
- Cheers to agreeing on that.
- Yeah.
When was your last boyfriend? How long ago was that? I left him in late August of last year.
- How long were you guys together? - Almost a year.
Um The relationship degraded to the point where I could no longer take it.
I basically was just like asking him to be kind to me.
[clears throat] Sorry.
I was basically just asking him to be kind to me, and I have a really bad habit of giving absolutely everything to men that don't fucking deserve it.
And so, I no longer do that.
I think you're definitely one of the most interesting and beautiful people I've ever met.
Thank you.
Okay? No, don't give me a high five.
[giggles] What? Ahh! I know it might feel weird, but it's the truth.
That's what I feel, what I see.
- Yeah.
- You know, and - everything on you-- - I like that.
You've got, like, a very, like, open vibe.
I like it.
When I date men, it's like there are certain tiers to dating me.
Like, you have to get up to, like, tier three before I'll cook for you.
Why does it take so much to get there? Because I'm worth it.
I'm not saying you aren't.
I'm just gonna say, you know, did this person that you dated, did he go through all these tiers as well? No, he didn't.
- And is that why there are tiers now? - Yes.
- Do you have tiers? - No, absolutely not.
I am not a tier person in the slightest.
Um There's no set of standards for me, because-- There probably should be, 'cause like I said, you're fucking cute.
Yeah, I'm cute, Thank you.
I appreciate that.
But fact of the matter is, for me, I just want the opportunity to, like, get to know you as a person, because if you're not 100 with me, how am I gonna be 100 with you? - It just doesn't make sense.
- That's called boundaries, Antonio.
Boundaries are boundaries because you set them.
Exactly, and I set them like my standards.
Do you want my jalapeños? - Didn't you order the jalapeños? - No, I asked no jalapeños.
I got you.
- Take the jalapeños.
Take them.
- You know what that means, right? - What does that mean? - No tip.
I'm kidding.
No, never in your adult life - I know, I know.
- do you ever in your life ever say that.
That's not cool! Sarah.
All right.
I'm gonna give you a little piece of advice.
- What's up? - And that is don't ever tell a woman to relax - ever - You're right about that.
because you will elicit the exact opposite response from her.
I understand.
I'm sorry, Sarah.
- Don't tell me to calm down.
- I won't.
This is, like, such a femme fatale - moment.
- You're gonna end up dead tonight.
- [softly] Can't wait.
- [softly] Can't wait.
Can't wait.
[laughs] - Are you playing footsie with me? - Well, no.
You just kicked me in the knee.
So I wouldn't necessarily call that footsie.
- I'm sorry.
That was me.
- Totally took that the wrong way.
[laughing] - [clears throat] - [snorts] Nice.
Oh, my God.
Um do you want to get out of here, or, like - Yeah.
- Okay.
Let's go kick some rocks.
[Sarah laughing] All right, I know a great place around the corner.
All right.
This is actually one of my favorite areas to be in, believe it or not.
- Really? - Yeah.
It's, um it's kind of crazy.
I've, like, seen this place get built so fast.
Do you see yourself maybe wanting, like, kids in the future? - Yeah.
- Would you raise that family in New York? - In Brooklyn I would.
- Yeah? - Yeah, I could see that.
- Not in Manhattan, no.
Too many people aggressively minding their own business.
I just think it's the lack of, uh like, trees.
No space for a tree house.
I don't know - if anybody told you this - Yeah? but your brain is very sexy.
I think that's called a sapiophile.
See? Too smart for me.
I don't get that.
What is that? What is that? That means somebody that's turned on by intellectuality.
All right.
I'm a sapiophile.
That's my fetish.
You like smart ladies? Yeah.
I got a friend who's into, like, you know, amateur stuff.
I'm into brains.
Is this, like, your normal first date kind of vibe that you do? Yeah.
I mean, I think it's pretty normal.
It's also fun to do things, like, a little bit more interactive.
Like, I love animals, so I enjoy going to the zoo.
- Oh! - They feed the penguins at 2:30.
- I love the penguins.
- They're so funny.
- They are so funny.
- Yeah.
I love them.
- Thank you.
- You got it.
What would you like? Um, can I get a Lagavulin 16, please, neat with a little glass of water, if I could? - [woman] Mm-hmm.
- Awesome.
Could I do a Maker's on the rocks? - [woman] On the rocks? - Yes, please.
- Great.
I'll get waters for you both.
- Thanks.
[woman] Uh-huh.
- Hydrate.
- I love water.
[Sarah] Yeah.
[laughs] I want to take a shot of Jack.
It's never too late.
To do what? To take a shot.
I'm not a shot-taking lady.
You know, every once in a while, I just keep on looking back at this ring.
- This ring? - Yeah, that one.
The time you gave me this [laughs] - Half-size, junior-size middle finger.
- I have small hands! - There's nothing wrong with it.
- It's fine.
I can never eat a Whopper.
Yeah, what are you gonna do? Cut it with a knife? - This is a deal breaker.
- I don't eat burgers.
- I just wanted to know.
- Yeah.
It's actually really important.
Do you eat your pizza with a fork and knife? No.
- This is fun.
I'm having fun.
- I'm having fun.
This is fun.
- This is good.
- Good chat.
Are you enjoying yourself? - What do you think? - 'Cause it's I think you might be.
I think you could be.
- I didn't give it away.
- You didn't give it away.
You have to communicate, remember? We talked about it.
How do dates usually end for you? Like Um Sometimes not well.
- Sometimes very well.
- Yeah.
Um Obviously, you're a very cute guy.
Like - Obviously, you're cute.
- Mm-hmm.
Um So, when was the last time you, um - Last time I had sex? - Yeah.
Um I don't know.
Fairly recently, I guess.
That is so vague.
You are so vague in your answers.
Why? You gonna give me an exact date for yourself? - No, fuck no.
- Okay, so why can't I be vague? That's fair.
Sex isn't, like, a big deal to me.
- What is a big deal to you? - Um - What's, like, the thing for you? - Time.
Time is.
Time is a much bigger deal to me than sex is.
So, you think I can see you again? What's up? - You want to what? - I want to see you again.
Ooh! Oooooh [laughs] You're such a nice man but I'm gonna say, "No, thank you.
" Listen, thank you for your honesty.
[Nick] It's a lot nicer when you don't have to pretend to be somebody you're not.
I don't do that, and I think that's, like, maybe why I'm maybe a little bit abrasive.
Well, yeah, you need to find somebody who has similar, uh - like, similar in enlightenment to you.
- Mm-hmm.
- If you found that person - Mm-hmm.
that's kind of, uh - ideal.
- He must be a weirdo.
- Well, I'm very weird.
- Yeah.
[laughing] Yeah, cheers again! I'm gonna be completely 100 with you.
- Yeah.
- Um You know, I feel like we're on very different - wavelengths.
You're a very sweet person.
- Thank you.
Um you know, you have a lot of charisma.
Um But, yeah, best of luck.
See you around.
- Thank you.
- Take care now.
[exhales] Oh, my God.
I'm gonna go home and masturbate.
- You ready to get going? - Yeah.
I think it's getting late.
- After you.
- Let's kick rocks.
[groans] "Graaah!" Do you always enter cars like that? You're just like, "Raaah!" - Hey, I'm here.
Graah! - I'm here! [siren wails] Want to hear a nine-minute joke about Greek mythology? - No.
- Okay.
That's fair.
Not here, not now.
Is that what you do every time you're in this position? You tell a nine-minute joke? That's fucked up.
- I go on a fair amount of first dates.
- Mm-hmm.
Just because I feel like I have high standards.
- Yeah.
I agree.
I'm right there with you.
- And I feel like I should.
- Yeah.
Don't ever settle.
- Yeah? Never settle.
Like, I think my number-one fear, it's not of commitment, it's of committing to the wrong person.
- Sarah.
- Yeah.
Ooh! Hi.
Do you still want to hear that joke about Greek mythology? If it's nine minutes long, absolutely not.
Really? It's really funny.
It's really funny.
So, like, do you are you, like, looking for - Me? - Yeah.
- Yeah, totally.
Of course, yes.
- Eventually? Yeah.
Um With that right person, and, you know.
Everyone says, "You'll know it when you find it," and so I just wait for that - "Aha!" moment - Mm-hmm.
when you're like, "Yeah, I found it.
" - Do I have lipstick on my mouth? - You actually do.
Oh, my God.
You do! I'm sorry.
Let me just Eh Oh, thank you.
All right.
Good night.
[kissing] Bye.
Oh, er - This is me.
All right.
- This is you.
- Well, thank you.
- I had fun.
- I had so much fun.
- We'll do this again? - I would like that, yeah.
- Awesome.
[laughing] ["Get Out" by CHVRCHES playing] Talked ourselves to death  Never saying what I wanted  Knowing what I needed you to say  Reflections you used to see  Never look alike to me  Get out, get out  Get, get, get out  Get, get, get out  - Hi.
- Hey.
It's so good to see you again.
You too.
- You look great.
- Thank you.
Also, I brought a little something that I think might be better than flowers.
- Perfect! - I still can't pronounce it, - but I figured you'd like it.
- I can teach you.
- You wanna-- - Awesome.
How have you been? - I'm good.
I'm good, yeah.
- Yeah? I'm about to go to Argentina.
- Get out.
Really? When? - Yeah.
Just in a few days.
I have a friend that Get out, get out  Get, get, get out  Get, get out of here  Can we get out, get out  Get, get, get out  Get, get, get out of here  So do you want to turn it around? And do you want to show me how? You are a kaleidoscope  You are a kaleidoscope  You are a kaleidoscope