Davy Crockett s01e05 Episode Script

Davy Crockett and the River Pirates

When you wish upon a star Makes no difference who you are Each week as you enter this timeless land one of these many worlds will open to you.
The happiest kingdom of them all.
Promise of things to come.
The wonderworld of nature's own realm.
Tall tales and true from the legendary past.
Presenting this week from Frontierland And now, Walt Disney.
A few weeks ago, we brought you one of the legends of Davy Crockett king of the wild frontier.
In that stow, you met the great braggart and brawler Mike Fink, king of the river.
This week, we want to bring another one of the famous legends of Davy Crockett the stow of how he and Mike Fink cleaned out the pirates at Cave-In-Rock.
The country was big when it was new The best men was big and their yarns was, too Their tallest tales folks believed was true So, the more they were told The more they grew Davy, Davy Crockett Helpin' his fame spread wide The deadliest devils he ever met Catchin' river travelers in their net Was some pirates so mean that brave man sweat Whenever their names are remembered yet Davy, Davy Crockett Walkin' into their trap Little Harpe was bad as a man can be Big Harpe was worse in his piracy Bloody Sam Mason was worst of the three Blamin' the Injuns for their deviltry Davy, Davy Crockett Caught up with them one day Davy, Davy Crockett Headin' for Tennessee Put your backs into it! What do you think this is, a free trip? Why, you ungrateful polecat.
We shoved and dragged this old tub of yours all the way up from New Orleans.
Ha ha ha ha! I got to admit, for a couple of backwoods bear hunters you ain't done bad.
Those are mighty kind words comin' from you, Mike.
You can put us to shore any place along here.
I can't see why you bristle-headed varmints can't land on a settlement like civilized passengers.
How do you like that? He works the tar out of us and then he calls us "passengers.
" It's the quickest way to get home.
Sounds like a mighty long walk to me.
Who's walkin"? We're gonna get some horses and sit down for a change.
Now, where are you gonna find horses in a lonesome place like this? Chickasaws.
This is their country, and they're real friendly.
Been a real pleasure knowing you, Mike.
I ain't likely to forget you two, neither.
Hey, you forgot your sack! - Oh, that's yours.
- Why? Just a little something to remember us by.
Open it UP- Well, ain't she a pretty little pop gun! "To Mike Fink, king of the river.
"From his admirers, "Davy Crockett and G.
Russel.
" Now that we're leavin', we figured you needed something to protect you against them redskin pirates up river.
Don't reckon I'll need her for that.
But she'll sure come in mighty handy for letting tavern keepers know Mike Fink's a-comin'.
There's something else in that sack for you.
Oof.
Aw! You shouldn't have done it.
Georgie and me didn't want nobody thinkin' you still wasn't king.
You bushwhackers ever get a hankerin' to be river men again, look me up.
All right, get back to your pullin' you fork-tailed scorpions! Hit poles! Put your backs into it! Shove on them poles! What do you think this is, a pleasure cruise? We got a cargo to haul! Hey, here's a trail.
Might lead us right to a Chickasaw camp.
Off through the woods, we were marchin' along Makin' up yarns and a-singin' a song He's ringy as a bear and twiced as strong Thinks he's right 'cause he ain't often wrong Davy, Davy Crockett Back in the woods again What's the matter? If you'd been listenin' you'd know ain't nothin' but you singin'.
Yeah, that's right.
Not a sound.
Not a bird or a squirrel.
Somethin' must have scared 'em.
Must be a Chickasaw huntin' party somewheres nearby.
Well, they ain't huntin' us.
Let's find 'em.
I reckon they'll find us if we stay on this trail.
You quit the caterwaulin'.
No need to scare off their game.
Davy, where are you? Hey, you tarnal idiot! Cut me down! Ha ha! So you stepped in an old deer snare, huh? It's a good thing Mike Fink can't see the king of the wild frontier now! Ow! Confounded idiot! What's the matter with you crazy Chickasaws.
? We're friends! Hey! You're makin' a terrible mistake! Don't you understand? It's Davy Crockett you're twin' to hog-tie.
Don't you understand? Davy Crock Somebody was goin' to get some horses from the "friendly" Chickasaws.
Leastways, we got the horses.
We're an awful long way up the river.
Where in tarnation they takin' us? Don't know.
Must be somethin' mighty wrong to put these Indians on the warpath.
Let's make a break for it.
We might never get another chance.
What makes you think we got one now? Now you know where they was takin' us.
Yeah, but what are they gonna do with us? You seen red hornets stirred up before.
Shouldn't be too hard to guess.
Mind your manners, Georgie.
This is the chief.
I am told you are the hunter white men call Davy Crockett.
He sure is, chief.
You are known to us as friend of the red man.
We both are, and look how you're treatin' us! You and your friend will not be harmed but you will remain prisoner.
Why are your men in war paint? We go to avenge the murder of our brothers.
This messenger has come from the chief of the Cascaskias.
White men have been killing his people without reason hunting them down like animals.
Cascaskias? They're up on the Ohio around Cave-In-Rock.
No wonder folks have been shootin' at 'em.
They've been attacking every boat comes down the river.
Do you understand what they say? They are white.
They hear only white man's lies.
Now listen here, you.
This ain't somethin' we heard.
- We seen it, didn't we, Davy? - Sure did.
When was this? Not more than three months ago.
We helped break up a raid on a boat just below the big cave.
More lies.
Three moons ago, my people were hiding far from the river driven there by the white men.
Then it must have been some other tribe.
There are no other red men in the land of the Cascaskias and we've always kept the peace.
I believe you.
Georgie, you know what this means? Some white skunks are dressing up like Indians so these poor devils will get the blame.
We're gonna find out who they are.
You say you know me.
Then you know Davy Crockett's word is good.
Turn us loose and we'll chase those varmints out in the open.
And if they ain't Indians we'll see to it everybody finds out about it.
It is too late.
Already, war messengers have gone to the Shawnee the Miami, the Kickapoo, and the Chippewa.
Then call 'em back, send out runners of your own.
Tell the chiefs to keep the peace.
Know this, Davy Crockett.
We have always wanted peace with the white man but he does not want peace with us.
He makes treaties and calls us "brother" but he believes any evil he hears of us.
That's right, but it works two ways.
To strike back at a few no-good, murdering whites you turn the whole frontier into a needless war.
I will send runners but we will wait only until the full of the moon.
One Eyes, Yakee, Yakoo.
Sure hope that old Gullywhumper didn't pass afore we got here.
They ain't had time.
We got a long way ahead of them thanks to them Indians.
What makes you think Mike'll want to throw in with us? It's his river we aim to clean up, ain't it? Yeah.
That old chief didn't give us much time.
Won't take long for that new moon to fatten up.
Leastwise, we ain't gonna waste no more time here.
What's the matter with you?! That's a war party.
Runners didn't find this bunch.
Now how are we gonna get out to 'em? In one of them canoes.
It's an Injun attack, boys! Jocko, grab the tiller while I try out my new pop gun! Aye-aye, Captain.
Hey, Mike! Yoo-hoo! Listen to that war cry.
Hey, Mike! Help! - Hey, Mike! It's us! - Hey! Agh! Uhh! Powder up! Hey! It's me and Davy! Hey! Stop shooting, Mike! We're already on the run! Ha ha! This is more fun than shootin' catfish! - Hey! - We're not Injuns! Hey, Mike, ain't that Stop it! You're ruinin' my aim! - Mike, they look like - Quit shovin' me, will ya? - You rock-headed river - Stop shooting, Mike! Can't you tell white men from Indians?! Ha ha ha ha! Davy and Russel.
It's us, you bone-headed heathen! Let's go on back and make up with Mike.
No, sir.
I ain't gonna do it.
Quit your poutin', Georgie.
How'd he know we wasn't Injuns? Well, that ain't no excuse for shootin' at us with our own present.
Why, we might have got hurt.
Mike told you he was sorry.
And besides, he's all for helpin' us trap those pirates up the river.
I wouldn't be surprised if he was a pirate hisself.
You sure are stubbed up, ain't you? Well, I guess we'll have to make our plans all by ourself.
Ha ha! Ain't he forgiven me yet? Nope, but he'll get over it.
Well, lucky just his feelings got hurt.
You know, Davy, you showed rare good sense of getting old Mike Fink to help you.
Don't make no difference whether them pirates are red or white.
Me and my skullbusters will make mincemeat out of 'em.
We gotta find 'em first.
Well, I ain't certain they'll show theirselves after that whoppin' I gave 'em coming downriver.
They're sure to recognize the old Gullywhumper.
Hey, Mike! Look what's comin'! Why, that's your Monongahela Belle! But where's her crew? Prepare to grab her as she comes alongside, boys.
A ye aye, Captain! All right.
Hold on to this mud bank, you scummy river rats! I knowed old Cap Donovan.
Looks like he put up a real good fight before they wiped him out.
Yeah.
Thought you said these pirates wasn't Injuns.
Well, they ain't.
No redskin ever made this arrow.
Let me see that.
Yeah.
You're right.
Ain't no tribal markings.
Ain't feathered right.
I wonder how far downstream she drifted since the massacre? Ain't no way of tellin'.
Naw, they didn't hardly leave nothin'.
Well, they left these.
Twit on for size.
I wouldn't be caught dead in a monkey suit like that.
Well, it ain't gonna be hard to disguise the Gullywhumper but something's got to be done about you.
Now, put it on.
Put it on.
Come on.
Get it up on here! Hey, Moose.
Hide this below where we can get it in a hurry.
What's so heavy in that sack? Rocks! Rocks?! You feather-headed idiot! I'll find out what's goin' on here.
What in thunderation you up to? You're a banker, ain't you? Yes, sir.
King of the bankers.
That's me.
On my way up to Shawnee Town to open up a new establishment.
But what's these here rocks got to do with that? Can't run a bank without money, can you? No.
Don't reckon.
That's your capital genuine Spanish gold.
Say! We're rich, ain't we? That's what we're hopin' them pirates will think.
I figure if we stop in a couple towns those folks will hear about our rich cargo word'll get upriver faster than we can.
Say, Davy, take over.
Tain't fittin' for a banker to be seen steerin' his own boat.
T'ain't fittin' for a banker to be doin' lots of things you've been doin'.
Well, now, if you're referring to that magistrate in that last town I couldn't let him get by with braggin' about how he'd arrested Mike Fink, could I? But you didn't have to lock him in his own jail and push it into the river.
Well, uh I'll be more careful tonight.
You better be.
This is the last town between here and Cave-In-Rock and we ain't seen a sign of them pirates yet.
Oh, the river is long and the moon is high And I want a gal afore Idie Pretty little gal with a turned-up nose And dancin' music in her twinklin' toes Oh, her cheeks is pink And her smile is shy And her hair's the color of midnight Midnight sky Set 'em up again! Color of midnight, midnight Midnight sky That banjo player's got real talent.
Oh, yes.
He hits this town every once in a while.
Plays to drum up business for himself.
Who is he? A peddler from back east.
He calls himself "Colonel Plug.
" I sure do admire classical music! What the devil is in this?! Just your usual sarsaparilla, sir.
Delicious, ain't it? Allow me to introduce myself.
- I'm magistrate here.
- Uh-oh.
I don't believe I got your name, stranger.
MacGillicuddy.
J.
J.
MacGillicuddy.
On my way up to Shawnee Town to open up a new bank.
Mr.
MacGillicuddy, I feel it my duty to inform you that river travel is not safe anymore here.
Well, if you're referring to them Injun pirates we ain't carrying nothin' they'd want.
No guns, no powder, not even no whiskey.
Just a cargo of old Spanish gold.
A cargo of gold?! Well, I'm surprised your captain would risk that.
Well, you ain't scared any, are you, Cap? Not about the gold.
We'll believe them Injuns when we see 'em.
Those butchers are real, all right.
Wrecks of boats drift by all the time.
What happened to their crews? Dead men don't talk very much, but plenty of bodies are fished out of the river, scalped and chopped to pieces.
No use to try to scare us off, mister.
We've been hearing them Indian stories all the way up from New Orleans.
Listen.
You know who Mike Fink is, don't you? Who's he? Mike Fink, the keelboat man.
Calls himself "king of the river.
" Oh, that big blowhard.
What about him ? Yeah.
What about him? I've heard that even he's going to quit the river.
You heard what?! Yes, sir.
Even that braying jackass is too wise to risk it.
Jackass?! Mind your manners, Mr.
MacGillicuddy.
I'm OK, now, boys.
Just one of my seizures.
Excuse me, Mr.
MacGillicuddy.
I just couldn't help overhearing but do you really intend goin' on upriver? You don't think I'd go this far if I wasn't, do you? Well, now, I admire a man of courage.
Just so happens that I'm mighty anxious to get on up to Shawnee Town myself.
We're pretty crowded already.
Oh, shucks! I don't take up much room.
All I got's my sample case and my banjo.
A little music wouldn't hurt none, would it? This ain't no pleasure cruise.
Listen.
You may be the captain but I'm the boss banker of this outfit, ain't I7 What I say goes! Did he get aboard this'n? Yeah.
Just went into the cabin.
B-o-n-a-n-z-a.
You ever hear of her? You know I can't spell.
Well, hello there, fellers.
Say, I got a new verse There's somethin' mighty fishy about that peddler.
Why'd you let Mike bring him aboard? 'Cause he's the first sucker that nibbled at our bait.
Hello! Nice day! Mighty pretty, this Ohio river country.
La belle "Riviri.
" That's what the Frenchmen used to call it.
Parlez-vous français? Huh? Do you speak French? Oh, sure.
I've been saving this song for a time just like this.
There was a widder in New Madrid A-smokin' a pipe and a-chawin' on a quid When she puckered up her lips I run for my life But she run me down and now she is my wife Her lips is red And her eyes is bold Yeller gold The color of yeller, yeller Yeller gold The river is long And the moon is high I want a gal afore Idie A pretty little gal with a turned-up nose And dancin' music in her twinklin' toes Oh, her lips is red And her eyes is bold Yeller gold The color of yeller, yeller Yeller gold Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, here.
What you doin', Mason? Smokin' up a new batch? Won't keep if I don't.
You already got your mattress stuffed.
What you want with more scalps? Got to keep folks thinkin' we're Injuns, don't we? Hey, the Harpes is comin'.
Did you hear that, Mason? The Harpes has come in.
Yeah.
More business for us? Yeah, and a fat one this time.
And the colonel is aboard.
Good.
What's the cargo? Gold.
Yeller, yeller gold.
Mighty obliging to ship it our way.
Heh heh! What's the name of this boat? It ain't the Gullywhumper, if that's what's botherin' ya.
Quit rubbin' that in! Mike Fink wouldn't have got away if I'da been with you.
We ain't had no trouble since, have we? Nah.
Just a lot of fun! This waitin' is makin' me nervous.
Time's gettin' short.
That moon was half-full last night.
We still got a few days.
Gonna take a few days to get word back to the Chickasaw.
Don't reckon we got long to wait now.
My boys is all ready chock-full of fight and itchin' to get at 'em.
Not so loud.
Don't want Colonel Plug to hear.
Aw, he's still sleepin'.
Better make sure.
Take over, Mr.
MacGillicuddy.
This is called "a tiller.
" Heh heh.
This is just about the place they jumped us afore.
I've worn this monkey suit long enough.
Eh Rocks! Just plain rocks! Mike Fink?! Davy Crockett?! Oh! Oh, excuse me, boys.
I was havin' a little difficulty gettin' to sleep.
I thought maybe you fellas might like to hear a little music.
It's Crockett and Fink And down in the hold There's a cannon inscribed That sounded like Plug but what's he singin' about this time? What difference does it make now? He'll be scuttlin' it pretty soon.
Yeah.
You can't do this to me, consarn ya! Ya Hey, Davy, bring up my cannon when you come.
If I knowed we was gonna have to tote this thing I'da argued for a pistol.
Hey, Moose.
Come aft and be gunner.
What you slowin' down for? Close in on 'em! Ride 'em poles! What do you think we're doin"?! Mike, we're draggin' bottom.
It's them confounded rocks you brought on board! Get 'em out of there! We're sinkin'! We're sinkin', Mike! Sinking?! We're sunk! Grab your weapons, boys, and let 'em have it! You can't do this to me! I'll hang the law on ya! I'll hang the law on ya! They're attacking us from the rear! Yee-hoo! Get the powder! Come on! Fill 'er up! I scalped him! Ha ha ha ha! Uhh! What's holdin' 'em up out there? Them boatmen is puttin' up an awful good fight.
We'll fix that.
Get the powder canoe in the water.
You can't do that now.
You'll blow up our own men.
Heh heh! What difference does it make? Won't hurt us none.
Hey! I'm on your side! Oh, Mike! Help! Yee-hee! We got 'em on the run! No wonder.
Look what's comin'.
Ha ha ha ha! Somebody's playin' awful rough! That's Sam Mason and the Harpe brothers the orneriest skunks on the river! Hey! They're gettin' away! Oh, no, they ain't! You take the rest of 'em.
Me and Georgie'll run them varmints down.
Boot tracks.
They're the ones we want.
Big Harpe, stay here and keep watch! Wait a minute.
What about my share? You'll get what's comin' to ya.
Leave that big stuff.
We can't carry that on horseback.
That's enough for now.
We can't leave all this for somebody else.
Nobody's gonna find it till we can get back.
That's what that keg of powder's for.
Too many tracks to tell where they've gone.
They could be hidin' in any one of these rat holes.
Get the saddlebag.
Somebody's comin' up the trail.
Get out of sight.
Cave-In Tavern ain't doin' much business.
Don't think it ever was a tavern, Georgie.
You mean this is their hangout? It's gotta be.
Davy, you ain't goin' in there?! Them varmints went someplace.
This is worse than crawlin' in a hollow log after a bear.
Hey, DaVY! Kind of drafty in here.
Look what I found.
What was you mutterin' about? Lookie.
Same kind we found stickin' in that wrecked keelboat.
Here's where they changed into Injuns.
Them three that we followed in here must be the ringleaders.
Stay here and I'll see if I can smoke somethin' out.
Hey, Davy, what's keepin' you? There's plenty of loot in there.
Well, they wouldn't go off and leave it.
Reckon they're still around.
This oughta lead to somethin' mighty interestin'.
Aah! Why, you Aah! Ha ha ha ha! Uhh! Ha ha ha ha! Well, here we are splittin' up again, you bushwhackers.
And if we never meet again remember I'm still king of the river.
Oh, you're better than a king, Mike.
You're a first-class friend.
Yeah? In fact, you're the finest fightin' man I know.
Aw! Ha ha ha ha! After Davy.
All right, you red-tailed scorpions! Start pullin'! Kept his promise to Mike and his crew Kept his promise to the Injun chiefs, too For the river was clear all the way through And blamin' the Injuns was a-proven untrue Davy, Davy Crockett King of the wild frontier Next week our show will come to you from Fantasyland.
And now, a preview presentation of some of the highlight scenes from that show.
Next week Born in the sawdust world of the circus Dumbo was the blessed event of the year.
One moment, please.
This is still part of the service.
Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Dear Dear me! What's his name? JumboJunior.
But Dumbo had a secret he couldn't conceal.
He was the little elephant with the enormous ears.
Ain't that the funniest thing you ever saw? Look at his ears! Ha ha ha ha ha! Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah! Stop! His mother went wild.
Surround her! Gossip soon discovered the scandalous truth about the new arrival and Dumbo became an object of scorn and ridicule.
Have I got a trunkful of dirt! Darling! Go on! Go on! Dumbo became a social outcast.
His only frienda mouse.
You know lots of people with big ears are famous.
Oh, boy! All we gotta do is build an act! Make you a star! A headliner! Dumbo the Great! In next week's hour in Disneyland you'll see Dumbo's magnificent fall to fame the most sensational climax ever film ed! Dumbo, come on! Fly! Open them ears! The magic feather was just a gag.
You can fly.
Honest you can! Hurry! Open 'em UP! Please! And the most delightful sequence you've ever seen the parade of the pink elephants.
Dumbo, the ninth wonder of the universe! The world's only flyin' elephant! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Did you ever see an elephant fly? I've seen a peanut stand And heard a rubber band But I be done seen about everything When I see an elephant fly Walt Disney's unforgettable story of Dumbo brings you a trainload of exciting new characters wild animals, ferocious beasts ponderous pachyderms, jungle giants Casey Jrthe train with a personality.
Don't miss "Dumbo " next week with Walt Disney in A new motion picture of rare enchantment will soon be showing in your favorite theater.
It is Walt Disney's "The Littlest Outlaw.
" It's a story of courage, of adventure a story of unusual charm.
It's Walt Disney's "The Littlest Outlaw" feature-length Technicolorsoon.