Davy Crockett s01e04 Episode Script

Davy Crockett's Keelboat Race

When you wish upon a star Makes no difference who you are Each week as you enter this timeless land one of these many worlds will open to you.
The happiest kingdom of them all.
Promise of things to come.
The wonderworld of nature's own realm.
Tall tales and true from the legendary past.
Presenting this week, from Frontierland And now, Walt Disney.
Some time ago, we brought you three stories from the life of the great frontiersman Davy Crockett, taken from Davy's own journal.
But his final entry in this book the day the Alamo fell was not the end of the yarns about Davy.
Like some other great Americans he had already become a legend in his own lifetime.
Paperback almanacs such as these crude, colorful, and exciting reflected the spirit of the American frontier and they contained many tall tales of Davy's adventures.
Best of all, they kept Davy's love of freedom, fairness, and fun alive long after he was gone.
This week, we bring you one of our favorite Davy Crockett legends the stow of his Great Keelboat Race with the mighty Mike Fink, incredible king of the river.
The country was big When it was new The best men was big And their yarns was, too And their tallest tales Folks believed was true So the more they were told The more they grew DaVY Davy Crockett King of the wild frontier History remembers The name of his gun And some of the deeds He really done But most of his chores For freedom and fun Got turned into legends And this here is one DaVY Davy Crockett Helpin' his fame spread wide Had a lot of furs that he aimed to ship And he set his mind On a river trip When a braggin' boatman Give him some lip A-claimin' there was no man He couldn't whip DaVY Davy Crockett Tanglin' with big Mike Fink Them Kentucky ants got a bite like an alligator.
Sure ain't particular what they chaw on.
Look at that, would you? This is the longest hunt we ever been on.
Biggest bunch of pelts we ever got, too, Georgie.
Leastwise, the heaviest.
Them packhorses is plumb wore out, and so am I.
How much longer you figure we gotta walk, anyhow? I figure we'll reach the old Ohio pretty soon.
Yeah, I sure am lookin' forward to that boat ride.
Nothin' to do all day but sit in the sun and fish all the way down to Natchez.
That's a mighty good idea of yourn, Davy.
At least we'll get a better price for our furs there.
You ain't foolin' me none.
You ain't thinkin' about the price of furs.
You're thinkin' about all that new country we're gonna be lookin' at.
Ow! Hey, you, you get away from here.
Just ain't your night, is it, Georgie? I'm gonna turn in afore something else happens.
Them fellas sing worse'n you.
Ain't nothin' livin' gonna keep me awake tonight.
Hey, Davy.
Hey, DHVY-' Now what? There's somethin' in bed with me.
Well, kiss it good night and go to sleep.
Mike Fink! Mike Fink's comin'! Hurricane's a-comin' Board up the door Load up the cannon Call out the law Worstest calamity That folks ever saw Girls run and hide Brave men shiver He's Mike Fink King of the river What's going on here, anyway? I don't know, but somethin' sure got their fur riled up.
Landing's over there.
And a real depopulator Oh, what a deep-divin' catfish Well, boys, hope they don't run out of Monongahela Red-eye this time.
Ha ha ha! Born too mean to die Whoa! That oughta keep her from driftin'.
Ha ha ha! Say, mister which one of them fellers is captain of this boat? What'd you say? He wants to know who the captain is.
How long you bushwhackers been holed up in the backwoods? It's me, Mike Fink, king of the river! Well, Captain, meet up with Davy Crockett king of the wild frontier.
Davy Crockett, huh? Well, it sure is a small world.
You're about a foot shorter'n you oughta be.
Don't worry.
He's still a-growin'.
Yeah, like them yarns they keep spreadin' about him.
Mighty hard to live up to sometimes.
Well, I don't have no trouble livin' up to mine.
I am the original ring-tail roarer from the thunder and lightnin' country.
I'm a real snorter and a head-buster.
I can outrun, outjump, outsing, outswim outdance, outshoot, outeat, outride Outtalk? Yeah, outtalk, outcuss, and outfight anybody on the whole Mississippi and Ohio rivers put together.
Mighty interesting, but all we wanna know is how far down the river you're goin'.
Why, all the way to New Orleans, of course.
Told you I'm Mike Fink, king of the river.
This is my own private river.
Have you got room for a couple of private passengers? Where're you bound? Natchez.
We got some furs we aim to sell down there.
You'll get a better price for your furs in New Orleans.
Tell you what I'll do, seeing as how it's you.
I'll make you a special rate.
Well, that's mighty nice of you.
Yes, you and your furs all the way to Natchez or New Orleans for only $1,000 hard money.
Why, that's plain, uncivilized piracy.
Ha ha ha! Ain't no question about it.
Now, make up your minds and let me know afore morning.
You're keepin' me from my drinkin'.
ooo? Who does that big windbag think he is? Seems like he told us.
Well, he might be the king of the river but he ain't got the only boat.
- Howdy there.
- Howdy.
This your boat? Yep.
Bertha Mae out of Marietta.
Sounds like a racehorse.
Pretty hard to beat if she's handled right.
Which way you goin', upriver or down? Ain't goin' no place right now.
Barrel's marked for New Orleans.
That's right.
But my crew up and deserted me.
What'd they do that fer? Heared about the Injuns.
Didn't know there was any Injun trouble 'round here.
Oh, 'tain't here, downriver somewhere.
The other side of Shawnee Town.
Them red devils are attackin' everything.
Flatboats loaded with settlers, even armed keelboats.
Got so bad, nobody'd sign on.
Don't seem to be scarin' off Mike Fink none.
Yeah, him and them Pittsburgh pole-pushers of his they ain't human enough to be scared.
Looks like we picked the wrong time for a boat ride.
Hey, are you really Davy Crockett? Why, sure.
I'm Captain Cobb.
This is my friend Georgie Russel.
- Glad to know ya.
- Howdy.
You got quite a reputation when it comes to Injun fightin'.
Now, if folks knew you were goin' downriver with me we could get ourselves a crew.
What do you think, Georgie? Beats payin' $1,000 that we ain't got.
How many men would it take? Six, if they're as stout as you be.
Well, if they don't know any more about boatin' than Georgie and me, could be some crew.
Better split up if we're gonna cover the town.
Now, don't you be a-feared of tootin' your own horn, Davy.
Mind what you go promisin'.
Don't want anybody to think it's gonna be a frolic.
That one's about the right size.
See you back at the landing.
Uhh! Aah! Arr! Uhh! Now, anybody else don't care for my cigar? Kinda handy with them fists of yourn, ain't ya? Ah, I'm better at kickin' and bitin'.
You're just the kind of a fella I've been lookin' for.
Have a drink on me? Yeah.
You're just the kind of fella I've been looking for, too.
Well, here's mud in your eye.
Well, you know something? Sleepy little old river town like this ain't no place for a man of your talents.
Mister, that's a fact.
- Have another? - Ha! - What's your name? - Jocko.
Mine's Georgie.
Well, I'm pleased to meet ya.
Ahh! That's kinda tasty, ain't it? It'd grow pink whiskers on a It'd grow pink whiskers on a hound dog.
Hey, Jocko how'd you like to see a little something of the world? Whatcha drivin' at, Georgie? I'm gonna let you in on somethin'.
Me and Davy Crockett is gettin' up a little party to take a boat ride down the river.
- Take a what? - A boat ride.
On the Bertha Mae.
Clean down to New Orleans.
Ha ha ha ha ha! What's so funny? Oh, that's the gall-bustingest joke I ever heard.
Hey, Mike! This clodhopper's twin' to sign old Jocko on the Bertha Mae.
You tired of livin"? Nobody tries to steal one of Mike Fink's crew! Well, I didn't know this little hyena this little squirt one of your hyenas.
I accept your apology.
A couple of Mike Fink specials.
I thought you and Davy Crockett was a couple of smart fellas.
Turnin' me down for a bumblin' old coot like Cap Cobb.
He heard about them Injuns downriver? Yeah, but Injuns don't scare Davy none.
Our only trouble is, we can't get a crew.
Well, he ain't gonna find no keelboatmen around here.
And if any of these cornhuskers are crazy enough to join up with you you'll end up on a sandbar for sure.
It's risky, all right, but we get a free ride.
Well, it's your funeral.
As we say down in New Orleans, bon voyage! - Ahh.
- Ahh.
Hey, down the hatch.
Well, I already had a little more than I'm used to.
Aw, come on now.
Square off.
If you're gonna be a riverman you gotta learn how to drink like one.
Ha ha ha! That's funny.
No sign of my friend Russel anywhere.
Well, you go look for him, Davy.
We'll find the rest of the fellas you need.
Yeah, may take a little persuading but we'll have a full crew on the landing 'fore morning.
Mighty obligin' of you fellas to join up with me.
Oh, anything for you, Davy.
Well, let's get some men.
What in thunder got into him? Only a couple of Mike Fink specials.
Well, Georgie ain't a drinkin' man.
That's what he claimed, but look at him.
Ha ha ha! Hey, Davy! Yee-hee! and get down from there! Oh, leave him alone, Crockett.
He's enjoying himself! Ha ha ha! Haven't had so much fun since I slid down Old Smokey on a barrel stave.
Don't worry, Davy.
We'll beat him easy.
Beat him? What's he talkin' about? Beat who? Me! Looks like you got a race on your hands.
Race? What kind of race? Why, keelboats, of course.
The Gullywhumper against the Bertha Mae.
To New Orleans.
We can't race you.
Well, that's what I told him.
He wouldn't believe me.
Bet your furs against 2 barrels of my Monongahela whiskey.
He knows better than that.
It took us all winter to get them furs.
My crew's gonna look mighty fancy in coonskin caps.
Ha ha ha! Yee-hoo! Ya-ha! Get down from there! Hey! Hey, hey, I'm all right.
And I'm awful wet.
You're gonna be a riverman you gotta get used to water.
But I'm awful sorry, Davy.
Bein' sorry ain't gonna get us to New Orleans ahead of Mike Fink.
Couldn't you tell him I was only foolin"? You think he's the kind that'll let you off that easy? No, I don't reckon he is.
I'll never do it again, Davy.
Well, you better not.
Now we really gotta find ourselves a crew.
Well, not in your condition.
Get on back to the boat and have Cap'n Cobb put you to bed while I gather up the gear.
Thank you, Davy.
You're mighty understanding.
Hey, Davy.
Find your partner yet? Sure did.
Ben and Leif are over on the next street talkin' to some fellers that's got a hankerin' to see New Orleans.
Let's see how they made out.
Well, we can cut through here.
That's funny.
They was here a minute ago.
There they are.
I thought you said they were talkin' to him.
Hey, fellas! Take it easy! We don't want anybody that ain't willin'.
We're all willin', Davy.
This fella just give us a little argument, is all.
Citizens of Maysville, you are about to witness the start of an historical event which may well be remembered as the classic contest of all time.
A keelboat race! Between the intrepid Davy Crockett of Tennessee And the undefeated Mike Fink, king of the river.
Are the captains ready? I'm ready.
I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be.
Hey, Crockett! Might as well give me them furs right now! You ain't won 'em yet.
Well, if I don't, I'll eat my hat red feather and all.
Ha ha ha! One of these days that big blowhard's gonna get what's comin' to him.
Take your starting positions.
Stand by! Stand by! No, no, no! Jumpin' catfish! Do like I told ya! Go forward so we can walk back! Now remember, no one starts until the cannon fires.
Get ready! Get ready, boys.
Listen to the thunder Hear the winds roar Hurricane's a-comin' Board up the door Load up the cannon Call out the law Worstest calamity That folks ever saw Girls run and hide Brave men shiver I'm Mike Fink King of the river Oh, he's a ring-tail roarer And a tough old alligator Oh, he's a bulldog bully And a real depopulator Oh, what a fightin' devil He'll spit right in your eye He's gonna live forever Born too mean to die Ha ha ha! Oh, it ain't no use, Davy.
We ain't gonna catch him.
We just ain't got the hang of it.
What we need's a song like they've got.
Well, let's sing one, then.
He don't take nothin' From no man at allho! The bigger they brag The harder they fallho! The tougher they are The louder they squall When they get what fer In a free-for-all Ho! DaVY Davy Crockett King of the wild frontier Ain't no trick at all To polin' keelboats We can beat Mike Fink With anything that floats Now we got the hang Why, we feel our oats Look at them clodhoppers, would ya? Ha ha ha! Davy Was I snorin' again? On your feet! They're catching up.
Don't strain yourselves, boys.
They ain't gonna catch us.
Heh heh heh heh.
Now watch the fun.
Them's Miamis.
What'd he wanna shoot at them for? They's friendly.
You mean, they was.
You red-skinned idiots! We ain't the ones who shot at you! We're surrounded.
Grab your poles and let's get out of here! That's the dirtiest trick I ever seen.
Mike could've got us killed! Don't worry.
We'll pay him back.
Any place up ahead he'll come in close to shore? Sure.
He'll be roundin' Mulehead Point sometime tonight.
Channel there runs along the Indiana shore for miles.
How much rope you got aboard? Oh2300 feet.
Why? Figure I'll have you put me ashore soon as it's dark.
Be quiet.
We wanna get as close as we can without being noticed.
Must've hit a snag.
Look like we can sit down and get some rest now.
We're losin' way.
Put your backs into it.
What do you think we're doing? Stop! Get poles! Mike! Hey,Mike! Look! So what? They ain't gonna catch up with us.
Aah! Aah! Aah! Wait'll they find theirselves going down Dead Man's Chute! Ha ha ha! Stand by! Let's pole! Much obliged for relievin' me, Davy.
How're we doin"! We're gainin' on 'em.
They're just around that bend.
Uh, so's the falls of the Ohio.
Falls? That's what they call 'em.
Actually, it's a stretch of bad rapids.
Used to be real dangerous till they put in the channel marker.
That's funny.
River must've cut a new channel since my last trip.
Gentlemen, let's have a moment of silence for them poor unfortunates what took the wrong channel.
Hey, you stumble-footed idiots! What are you twin' to do, send us to the bottom? Hit the poles! Hey, Cap! It's gettin' rough.
You sure we're in the right channel? Jumpin' Jehoshaphat! We're in Dead Man's Chute! Somebody must've moved the marker.
Hey, can't afford to lose you now, Cap.
Better get below.
Hey, DaVY! Look out! There's a rock dead ahead! Pole, you lop-ear baboons! They're beatin' us! Let's pole! Hey, Davy, we're still leadin'! We might just win this race.
Now, don't go skinnin' the bear till we shoot him.
Hey, Cap.
What's them lights up ahead? Shawnee Town.
And we gotta put in.
Put in? And let them hyenas get ahead of us again? Can't be helped.
Everything below is soaking wet, even our powder.
And them Injuns is apt to jump us any time now.
Hey, Mike.
It sounds like they're puttin' ashore.
- Uh-huh.
So are we.
- What? You crazy? Right now's our chance to get way ahead! What's the sense of bustin' our backs when there's an easier way? Here, take over.
Pretty late.
Sure hope Davy finds somethin' open.
If'n they don't take too long maybe we can get started again afore that Mike Fink shows up.
Ain't no sign of him yet.
Hope they don't sneak by us in the dark.
- What's that? - Just an old bullfrog.
If that ain't just like a city feller.
Don't even know a bullfrog when he hears one.
Ha ha ha.
Little old rascal gettin' pretty close, ain't he? Oh, the whole riverbank's full of 'em.
What'd you do, Mike? What'd you do? What'd you do? Nothin'.
Seems like a couple of bolts rusted off their rudder when they wasn't lookin'.
Don't figure it can hang together too much longer.
Ha ha ha Hello, there! Come on ashore! Yoo-hoo, boys! Come on over, boys.
Have a good time! We gots liquor and some fine entertainment.
We're lonesome for some dancin' men.
You won't be sorry! Well, what do you know? They made that old cave into a tavern.
Get your poles and hold her, boys.
Yoo-hoo, boys! Don't overdo it.
They're stopping.
You Injuns get ready.
Ain't you gettin' mighty ambitious, Mason? Takin' on Mike Fink and his crew? Ah, we'll take them as easy as we did the others.
Sure wish we had some of that cologney water.
Uh-oh! Mike, look! Oh, ain't that rudder busted yet? That punk has got a real gift for spoilin' my fun! Yeah! See you gals on the way back! - Yoo-hoo! - Yoo-hoo! Go to them poles! Ah, it didn't work.
They're goin' on.
Well, they won't get far.
Take the horses.
Stay in the saddle.
Wanna leave bootprints all over? Injuns! Get braced for some fun, boys! It's what we've been waitin' for.
Tarnation, Davy.
Can't we let Mike Fink try braggin' his way out of this one? Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Hard pole, boys.
Where the devil'd that other boat come from? I don't know, but let's get! Anybody get hurt, Mike? How could we? You chased 'em off afore we got started! Help! Help! HelP" Now what made that bust loose? You fellas are sure havin' tough luck, ain't ya? Sorry we can't help ya none.
Shove off, boys! We got a race to win! Ha ha ha ha! That puffed-up polecat had something to do with this.
Wait'll we catch up with him again.
Why, you milk-livered city folk.
Done been took in by them tall tales about this here Davy Crockett.
"King of the wild frontier," my arm! There ain't room in this country for but one king, and that's me! Why, that squash-headed beanpole of a bear hunter ain't no match for my shadow.
I can beat up anything you name! Take shootin', for instance.
Them paper targets he uses.
Ain't no test of a man's nerve! Now hold still.
Hold still.
Better with a target like that.
If a man ain't awful careful he could make a mighty serious mistake.
Wait a minute, Mr.
You ain't aimin' to shoot this off my head? Now that's good whiskey you're spillin'.
There ain't nothin' to it.
If you'll just hold still like this.
Like that, Mike? Lucky thing for you fellers that Mike Fink's got a sense of humor.
Come on! Belly up! Seems like the proprietor's gone on a sudden journey and left me in charge.
Drinks is on the house! Come on, join us! We'd admire to, but me and Georgie don't hold with drinkin' when we got a race to win.
Why, I thought you fellas'd be ready to give up by now.
You don't know Davy.
He ain't ever quit nothin' in all his life.
Ha! These hillbillies are sure hounds for punishment, ain't they? Why, we'll be halfway to Natchez before you get that rudder fixed.
Come on, boys.
Drink up.
Let's shove off.
Hey, Mike.
I'm surprised at you.
Why? Lettin' that shot of Davy's stand without no challenge.
Ha ha! You call that a shot? Why, any kid back in Pittsburgh could do the same if his pa'd let him waste the whiskey.
For the same target you was gonna use? Yeah.
Only I was gonna do it backwards.
Backwards? In the mirror.
Here, I'll show ya.
Oh, no, you don't.
You're scared, too, Crockett? Lot of difference between bein' scared and downright foolish.
All right, I'll show you a real trick, then.
I'll shoot it off my own head.
This we gotta see.
Back out of the way, everybody.
That's awful good shootin' for a riverman.
I suppose you can do better? Well, I might just try.
Charge up Old Betsy for me.
I ain't so sure about this.
Better duck your heads.
I just don't believe it.
Still don't believe it.
It's some kind of a trick.
It's not humanly possible to leap up and catch a ball in your mouth! Why, you! What's goin' on around here Who started this? Hey, fellas, stop fightin'! I said, stop fightin'! I told you to stop fightin'! Hey! Hey! Hey! Come by and get me! I need some help! - Wonder what he wants? - I don't know.
Hey, Cap! Swing into that island.
Thank the Lord you stopped.
You're the first souls I've seen since my flatboat went to pieces and marooned me here.
I'm near starved to death.
We can fix that.
Come on aboard.
Thank you kindly, son.
Mind waitin' till I fetch my livestock? Livestock? Hey! We ain't got time to load all them animals! Here comes the Gullywhumper! Cap's right.
We just can't leave him here.
Well, even if we did get him aboard we ain't got room to pole.
Hey, forget about them critters, Grandpa and get aboard! We're in a hurry! I can't leave my stock.
'Tain't right that he should.
Come on, boys.
Let's give him a hand.
Now, ain't that obligin' of them cornhuskers? Waitin' here for us like this.
Ha ha ha ha! Hey! Crockett! Whatcha doin"! Recruitin' a new crew? Ha ha ha! This ain't no laughin' matter! Sure much obliged for all the trouble I put you to.
That's my place yonder on the bayou.
Got time to break bread with us? Admire to, but we got some time to make up.
'Scuse me, please.
I got to look after my critters.
Well, I sure gotta hand it to you, Davy.
You just don't know when you're whupped.
Well, not everybody can come in first.
Maybe the good Lord didn't intend for us to win this race.
Well, then what are we breakin' our backs fer to get to New Orleans? We gotta deliver some furs to Mike Fink.
So long, Cap.
Sorry your boat's so big.
What's the matter with her size? Well, if she was a mite smaller, you could save 40 miles by takin' this here bayou.
I've been down it in my skiff plenty of times.
Runs back into the Mississippi just above New Orleans.
Think we got a chance of gettin' through? Well, it'd be a tight squeeze but if you'd cut a few trees out of the way and don't mind scrapin' the bottom a little you might make it.
Georgie, maybe we ain't lost this race yet.
We been practicin' long enough.
Now let's show 'em somethin'! Go to them poles, you scummy river rats! If you don't get me to that landing afore Crockett so help me, I'll turn every mother's son of you to catfish bait! Push, boys! Push like you never pushed afore! We're beatin' 'em, boys! Push! Moose! Give 'em the Pittsburgh punch! Aah! Ha ha ha ha! So you wanna play rough.
Whoa! Jocko! Give it to 'em, Jocko! Whoa! Give 'em what fer, Davy! Ha ha ha ha ha! Use your pole, men! Hit 'em! Hit 'em! Aah! Ooh! Yee-hoo! Ha ha ha! Whoo! Ah, ya thought you was gonna win our pelts! You thought we was gonna be trailin'! Ha ha ha! What's the world gonna say? Mike Fink, king of the river losin' to a pack of landlubbers.
I don't reckon we won anything but our furs.
That's all we started out to do.
You mean, you ain't gonna lay claim to my red feather? There's only one king of the river, Mike.
Yeah, that there bayou we just come through ain't rightly a part of the old Mississip.
Where's my hat? He kept his word About his victory Saw it wasn't set down In history So Mike stayed king Of the river, you see And a real good friend He turned out to be DaVY Davy Crockett Makin' up With big Mike Fink Next week, our show will come from Adventureland.
We'll have two stories to tell.
One is a visit behind the True-Life cameras.
The other is an exciting True-Life Adventure with the Olympic elk.
Here are a few highlight scenes from that program.
Next week, from Adventureland Walt Disney takes you behind the True-Life cameras as the naturalist photographers film scenes for a feature True-Life Adventure, "Secrets of Life.
" You'll go into the remote and hidden reaches of the Florida Everglades and discover the secret of the saddleback a caterpillar with a unique method of moving.
Deep in the heart of the Western desert the teeming life of a tiny world revealed by the prying eye of the True-Life camera.
On the limitless plains of the dark continent you'll watch the filming of yet another True-Life Adventure, "The African Lion.
" You'll see the actual recording of unbelievable scenes just as they appear in the feature production, "The African Lion.
" And on the same program, Walt Disney's the unforgettable story of a majestic animal found only in the snow fields and forests of the Olympic range.
You will follow the migrating herd from the lowland pastures to the mountain meadows among the topmost peaks.
Thrill to the bugling challenge of the mighty bulls to the clash of antlers in the surging battles of the mating grounds.
The exciting story of the Olympic elk and behind the True-Life cameras.
Next week with Walt Disney in Out of the heart of Africa comes one of the most unusual motion pictures ever filmed.
It's Walt Disney's latest True-Life Adventure "The African Lion.
" Soon you can see this exciting motion picture in your favorite theater.
All the real drama, all the authentic suspense all the true facts, unstaged, almost unbelievable.
three danger-packed years of stalking, watching, waiting to bring to the motion picture screens of theaters everywhere Walt Disney's latest True-Life Adventure feature, "The African Lion.
" Ask your favorite theater when you will be able to see this unusual motion picture Walt Disney's "The African Lion.
" Feature length, Technicolor.