Dawn of the Croods (2015) s01e04 Episode Script

This Means Warts

1 [buzzing.]
[Eep.]
Back when cave families lived alone, we could pretty much do whatever we wanted.
But after we moved to Ahh! Valley, suddenly our choices affected everyone else.
And everyone else's choices affected us, which, in some cases, led to a huge stink.
I see the prey.
[growls.]
Bonkers, ready? Of course we're ready.
Bonkers are born ready.
Yeesh, relax, Bonkers.
I was just asking.
Bait, ready? Gee, fellas, the beast looks pretty mad.
We can all skip a meal, can't we? Send in the bait! [screaming.]
[grunts, roaring.]
Stand your ground, hunters.
There is no beast we can't defeat.
[growls.]
[groans.]
That's not your cue, Sandy.
[grunts.]
[roaring.]
The beasts are hungry.
Mom, Gran, you're supposed to be animals, remember? No talking.
And, Dad, you're standing in lava.
What? Where? - Oh, pretend lava.
[chuckles.]
- And Eep where's Eep? Hey, now you're running in the lava.
He just told me I couldn't do that.
How is that fair? Eep, you should come out to the bone pit.
Everyone's playing "Make Stuff Up.
" Oh, sorry, can't.
I'm busy posting to the web.
[sighs.]
[giggling.]
Oh, Grug, you won't believe what I just found in the bone pile.
Eep's first kill.
[sighs.]
It seems like just yesterday she reached out with those tiny, little hands and [sobbing.]
became a top predator.
- Hey there, new neighbors.
- Neighbors? Meep, I thought you and Snoot lived across the gorge in Ahh! Valley Heights.
Oh, haven't you heard? We just moved in next cave.
See, Bulk and Sulk are there now.
Hi, boys! - Hey, Mom.
It's me, Sulk, your son.
- Ugh.
Stop trying so hard.
The Donks' place? They never said anything about moving out.
Yes, but my father was the founder of Ahh! Valley.
Have I ever mentioned that, that my father founded Ahh! Valley? Only every time we see you.
Well, I simply explained that to the Donks, and then I kindly removed their stuff.
[thunder rumbles.]
[growling.]
They're better off this way.
Their cave's view was wasted on them.
I guess, then, welcome to our side of the valley.
Right, Grug? Grug? - Grug.
- Well, if we're gonna be neighbors, we may as well learn each other's scents.
[sniffing.]
No need, no need.
I can smell you from here.
Ooh, leaf me, leaf me.
[sighs.]
Well, this was a start.
[chuckles.]
See you around, Croods.
They seem nice.
They don't seem like a threat? [straining.]
Oh, one more thing.
Do you mind clearing your family out of the way so we can smash your bone pile? Thanks much.
[laughs.]
No, no, no, no! Wait! Stop! Bom-bom, bom-ba-dum [music.]
Ma-ma-ma-bom-ba-dum Ba-da-dum 1x04 - "This Means Warts" [straining.]
Oh, um Grug, you're standing in the way of my giant rock, silly.
Yeah, Snoot, because that's our home down there, and, uh, I should not have to explain this.
Easy, Grug.
Sorry, Snoot, Meep.
Maybe it'd help my husband if you told us what this is all about.
Well, as you can see, our lives are now perfect, except for one teensy problem.
The view from our sun slab is ruined by your ugly bone pile.
So, we're going to be good neighbors and bury it for you.
[straining.]
Wait.
No need to fight.
Okay? We're really glad you guys moved in.
The only thing that you need to understand is that we love our bone pile.
[laughing.]
Oh, Ugga.
Oh, you're too, too funny.
[laughter continues.]
Oh, you're Oh, you're serious.
[straining.]
Our kids have played in it since they were little.
It's not a heap of bones.
It's a heap of memories.
[Snoot.]
A filthy heap, Ugga.
When my father founded Ahh! Valley - Have I ever mentioned that? - [yelling.]
Yes! Well, he wanted it to be a place where cave men stopped being savages.
After all, we're not apes.
We don't throw our poo, do we? No, we just poo it out on the floor, like civilized people.
So, now that we all agree [straining.]
[grunts.]
Roar! Oh! We should've just moved in next door to liyotes.
Friendlier, smell better, and less fleas.
- Hey, you wish you had our fleas.
- No, wait.
Oh, that went bad.
We should probably do something to smooth this over, like bring them a gift.
[gasps.]
Maybe a dead bird.
- Too much? - No, no, no.
I am not giving a perfectly dead bird to someone who wants to smash my bone pile.
I'm sorry, Ugga, I am putting my foot down.
[scream echoing.]
All right, Croods, time to clean ourselves up and visit the Boors.
If we have to live with them, - I wanna get things off on the right foot.
- Then let's ignore them.
You're the only one who wants to go there.
Oh, oh, Mom, Mom, Mom! Which hairstyle is best for visiting the most important family in town? Quiet day at the cave, or - fresh from the hunting fields? - Hmm.
Tough choice, Eep.
I'd say Ah, Mom! Why aren't you dressed? You said we should look our best.
Well, feast your eyes.
[screams.]
[groans.]
That's not what I Oh, this is a disaster.
Yes, making nice with Snoot would be a disaster.
I tell you, that guy is up to no good.
But he won't fool me.
- I know every form of trickery there is.
- [Snoot.]
Excuse me? I'm a stranger you've never met before who just moved to town.
My name is Snoo bah.
Well, hey, Snoobah, welcome to Ahh! Valley, friend.
- May I distract you all for a bit? - Oh, distract away.
Come on in, have a smash fruit.
Meet my family.
Ah, hello, Croods - if that's your name.
- It is.
[rumbling.]
Hey, what's that? Oh, I'm sure it's nothing.
Speaking of sounds, did I ever tell you about the time I caught a screamu all by my Uh, I mean, of course I didn't tell you! We just met.
[laughs.]
[grunts.]
[all gasp.]
It was Snoot all along? - [Croods.]
Whoa! - I don't believe it.
A new trick.
[shudders.]
Huh? [all gasp.]
Hey, that's our bones! Oh, oh, oh! Of course it is.
The boys are just moving it to a better place.
Lovely Molarbear Ravine.
Snoot! Where'd he go? - I think he went that way.
- Thanks.
Hey! [growls.]
[whimpers.]
[high-pitched shriek.]
- [growling.]
Roar! - Relax, Grug.
I know you wanna get even, but anger is not our way.
What do you know, family? One of the Croods doesn't act like an animal.
Ahh! [sniffles.]
[gasps.]
[soft growl.]
Roar! Run! Leave the old bones behind.
Roar! Grug, forget what I said about not getting even, - because this means warts! - Exact Uh, what? Just so I'm clear, you're saying we're gonna be annoying to the Boors, like warts can be? Something like that.
I'll work on it.
[growling.]
Sulk, we don't eat like that in this household.
Use your utensils.
[groans.]
That's my son.
Love, would you mind passing the [gasps.]
Sorry, dear, what was that? [yelling.]
I asked if you would pass me a [horn blows.]
[horn blows.]
Oh! Oh, we're playing in our bone pile Making lots of noise 'Cause making lots of noise in bone piles Is what bones are for [laughing.]
- Snoot, can't you tell them to stop? - No, dear, because then they'd think they're bothering us, and they're not bothering [sniffs, gags.]
What is that? I didn't know a smell could be evil.
Oh, hey, honey, you smell that? Oh, yeah.
It smells like victory! [bugs buzzing.]
[sniffs, gagging.]
And evil.
[groans.]
Victory and evil.
[laughing.]
Mom and Dad sure are acting goofy, defending our old junk.
This stuff's not junk.
Don't you remember playing on on this thing? Yay! All right! Yahoo! Ow! [groans.]
[giggling.]
Oh, actually, I do remember those old ramu skull battles - we used to have.
Those were fun.
- Yeah, the skulls.
- Oh, oh, they're in here somewhere.
- Eh, that's okay.
I just loved those fights 'cause I was so competitive back then.
But now, you know, now that I'm older First one to find them gets a rotten egg! You're on! That's it! If the Croods wanna play dirty, we'll give them a bath.
[giggling.]
Hello? Huh.
Didn't know water could do that.
[screams.]
[grunting.]
Oh, look at the bright side.
At least you smell better now.
[sniffs.]
Never mind.
[laughing.]
Huh? Dad, do his face when he got hit by the water again.
[chuckles.]
Well, I guess it was something like [buzzing.]
[wails.]
Ah, you did it better last time.
[screaming.]
Got it, Dad.
[shrieking.]
[laughing.]
[Meep.]
Be good, boys.
We'll be back after we take our revenge.
That's right.
If we can't get the Croods' pile to the molarbears, we'll lure the molarbears to the Croods' pile.
[laughter.]
[shrieks.]
I touched one.
Slimy.
Blugh! Leaf me, leaf me.
[shudders.]
Oh! All right, free snack! Hey, why is this egg walking away? 'Cause it does what it wants.
I like your style, egg.
[grunts.]
- Yeah! - Huh? [cackling laughter.]
[grunts.]
Yeah! [laughing.]
Whoo! So this is love.
- Huh? - Huh? Yep, this bone pile is pretty great.
Be a real shame to get rid of it.
Anywho, is there something we could do for you boys? Uh, can we, like, play too? And move in and be your new family? Yes to the first question.
Eep! Eep, I found 'em! Best nine out of eleven! - Ready? - Ready! - Ooga booga.
- Grunt and growl.
- We've come to fight.
- Meow, meow, meow, meow.
That line is pure Thunk.
He went through an intense cat phase.
[both yell.]
Butt heads! [grunting.]
[laughing.]
[both.]
Can we go next? - Yeah! - Yay! Ew Ew! [sighs.]
Ew! - Ugh! Huh? - Oh! [laughing.]
What are you doing on this pile? There aren't enough leaves in Ahh! Valley to clean you.
Boys, I'm not mad.
I'm disappointed.
And disgusted.
- And mad! - Well, looky here.
Your sons love playing in our bones.
I guess the pile stays.
Oh, Grug, if I weren't wearing a pure chinchillynx pelt right now, I would give you such a bonking.
[growls.]
[whimpers.]
You Croods are just the most primitive, simple-minded - Oh, thank you.
- No, she was insulting you! When my father founded Ahh! Valley "When my father founded Ahh! Valley" Are are you mimicking? [laughs.]
Is that supposed to upset us? [both mimicking.]
"Is that supposed to upset us?" [groan.]
Why is it so upsetting? Quick.
Do it back to them.
[mimicking.]
"Do it back to them.
" - Do it back to them.
- Do it back to them.
[mimicking continues.]
Oh, they're being so dumb! I am putting a stop to it.
No, wait.
I wanna see where it goes.
- Do it back to them.
- Do it back to them.
Do it back to them.
- Do it back to them.
- Do it back to them.
Do it back to them.
[rumbling.]
Do it back to them.
[yelling.]
[both.]
Oh, no.
[mimicking.]
Oh, no.
Oh, no! - Sandy! - Sulk! - Bulk! - Thunk, Eep! [screeches.]
Molarbears? Where did they come from? [gasping.]
Snoot.
You led those Molarbears here.
- What were you thinking? - Why, I thought they'd take the bone pile and maybe your cave and all your belongings, but not the kids.
[hissing.]
Forget who's to blame.
- [both.]
You.
- We're going down there.
Yes, yes.
Now what's the best way? Well, just come from the side and No, no, wait.
Let's think about this.
- What if we lean against each other - Okay, right.
- I'm gonna be here.
- Right.
You know what? No, we're gonna get too dirty.
So, you like this, and me, no Wait, Is that right? No, that's gonna be murder on my back.
[screaming.]
All alone, eh? Well, I know what I'm doin'.
Ha! Hello! [echoing.]
The kids.
This way is clearly the wrong way, so the kids are that way.
While they Crood it up, let's step back and think.
The molarbears would've taken the children with the bones.
- [sniffs.]
So unless my nose is wrong - Which it never is.
they're this way.
After you, my love.
[Ugga groans.]
[Grug.]
Ow! [roars.]
Okay, I can lead us out of here.
Just remember, molarbears might be blind, but they have really good hearing, so stay quiet.
Understood? [yips.]
[giggles.]
[groans.]
[sniffing.]
Sandy, quiet.
Okay now, link up.
Thunk, let go.
But I can't find our ramu skulls.
- Who cares? - Who cares?! [yells.]
I'm not leaving without them! [growls.]
Okay, we can do this.
We can find the skulls somewhere in the mountain of bones, surrounded by man-eating molarbears.
[sniffing.]
Wait.
[sniffs.]
Okay, we're going the right way.
Wait.
[sniffs.]
Wait.
[sniffs.]
- Wait.
- Would you stop that? - We can see there's only one path.
- Ha! While your eyes see only one path, my refined nose can smell [sniffing.]
well, also only one path.
Lucky guess.
[screaming.]
Look out, Ugga, and you guys, too, I guess.
[roars.]
[hisses.]
[grunts.]
[grunts.]
Guys, stop thinking and whack a molarbear.
We will, as soon as we get the timing down.
- To our left now.
No! - No, it's on the right.
- Now.
- No, there.
- Now! - Now to our right.
- Not now! - Okay, now! [screaming.]
Roar! [grunts.]
We would've figured it out at some point, you know.
Yeah, sure.
At the point between that molarbear's mouth and its stomach.
[chuckles.]
[shouting.]
[Eep.]
Thunk, we can get you new skulls anywhere.
Look, there's a skull here, and here, and Wow, there are a lot of skulls down here.
- Hey.
- But not our skulls.
Our skulls are the last thing we have from when we were little.
- [Bulk.]
Hey.
- From our brother-sister days.
- Oh, Thunk.
- [Bulk.]
Hey.
[sighs.]
Listen, I know I don't like doing all the things I used to anymore.
- Hey.
- But I promise you, skulls or no skulls, our brother-sister days are far from over.
- Okay? - Hey.
I found the skulls, if you care.
[screaming.]
[all grunt.]
[sniffing.]
[all.]
It's this way! [hissing.]
Now look what you've done.
You guys don't care about anybody but yourselves.
Yeah? Well, you guys don't care about us.
Yeah, you don't.
[wailing.]
[Grug.]
Forget it.
You go your way, we'll go ours, because the Boors and the Croods will clearly never work together.
Uh, Mom, you guys should really keep acting like brats.
[gasps.]
She's right.
The molarbears are sensitive to the sound, or the social awkwardness.
- Keep arguing! - I'm sorry, what? I said keep arguing! [shrieks.]
Don't tell us what to do, Ugga! [wailing.]
Oh, right.
Yes, we're sick and tired of you Croods! Oh, yeah? We'll say anything we want, and you know what else? That mud-stache looked good on you! Thank you.
I wish I could grow a real one! He does wish he could grow a real one.
And I wish I had your manly muscles, Ugga! That's very nice of you to say! - I like your singing voice! - It is beautiful, isn't it? La-la-la, la-la-la, oh Run! [yelling.]
[grunts.]
Got it.
[shrieks.]
I'm blind.
Blind! Still got it.
Look out! [gasps.]
[roars.]
[gulps.]
[yells.]
[grunting.]
[wailing.]
[both.]
Aw.
Oh, no.
Thunk, your skulls.
Ah, that's okay, sis, as long as I have your skull.
[chuckles.]
Aw, Thunk.
That's a really weird way to say that.
Kids, there comes a time when all parents have to say "We're sorry we got you dragged off by molarbears.
" Yeah, we set a bad example by turning a small disagreement into an all-out wart.
Yeah, you really did.
Oh, I mean, uh We set a bad example, too, by stooping to the Croods' level.
I'm gonna miss the old bone pile, but this is for the best.
[sighs.]
I guess you're right.
I just worry we'll never see Eep and Thunk play like little kids ever again.
Everyone, we haven't seen the last of the molarbears! First team of molarbears to get their opponents' bone, wins! - Ready? - Ready! [all.]
Ooga booga, grunt and growl.
We're here to fight, meow, meow, meow, meow! Molarbears! Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum ba-dum Whoo-oh, ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum, ba-dum Whoo-oh-oh-oh Ba-dum-dum Ba-dum-dum ba-dum
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