DC's Legends Of Tomorrow (2016) s06e15 Episode Script

The Fungus Amongus

1 Grab anything you can to put the eggs into.
Guys, hurry up! - It's a bomb.
- Yeah.
Egg! Get down! Mick, you okay? Charred.
Nothing new.
At least this little guy's unharmed.
Give me that.
You guys saved them.
Why? Those are Mick's kids you're talking about.
That makes them family.
Look, I get why Bishop would break the ship, but why make such an elaborate prank out of it? He was stalling, and mission accomplished.
And now the bomb obliterated Gideon's mainframe, which means we are stranded.
You're stranded.
I still got my ship.
That gyrating bastard.
Let me guess, Bishop stole your ship.
I'm gonna kill him.
- Oh! - Oh! Oh, my God, B.
Oh, hey, guys.
What happened to my couch? I knew something was up with John.
I shouldn't have gone home.
I should've been here.
What could you have done? We were all fooled.
I know a thing or two about addiction.
When we get John back on board, he's not leaving my sight.
It's too late, B.
John is gone.
"Gone", what do you mean "gone"? Like he escaped? He's dead.
Oh, that's not possible.
He he's John Constantine.
He can't be dead.
How? He tried to control the Fountain of Imperium, which turns out is an ancient fungal network that's been keeping Earth safe from invasive aliens for eons.
Bishop tricked John into poisoning himself to kill the Fountain, and I watched John die.
He decomposed into the ground, and all that was left was this.
Whoa.
May I? Wait a second.
Where's Spooner? Yeah, about that So you're the time travelers who found my Esperanza in the future.
It's nice to meet you despite the circumstances.
I'm so grateful that she's here with me now.
But I don't know how much longer she will stay.
Is she dying? Nothing I've tried is helping to stop it.
I'm a healer And I can't help my own daughter.
Ay, mi amor.
How are we doing in here? How's it look, smart-ass? The CPU was obliterated.
Found some replacement parts, but the wiring needs to be completely rerouted and - What's the timer for? - The eggs, dummy.
They need to be rotated every 12 minutes.
Oh, I got 'em.
Just a quarter turn only.
No, that's too much.
I got it.
I got it.
Relax.
Shouldn't you be strategizing with your loser human friends, coming up with some zany hijinks to save a doomed planet or something? Nope.
I'm staying with my kids.
Your kids? In Necrian culture, the mother raises the children alone.
Look, I wasn't around for my daughter, Lita.
I was lucky she let me back into her life, but I'm never making that mistake again Ever.
We should take her back to the ship.
The med bay is scratch that totally broken.
It wouldn't help anyway.
Spooner is like this because of what's happened to the Fountain.
The two of them are linked.
Chances of that being a coincidence? Slim to none.
That's it? So much for an invasion.
It's a scout.
They're watching us.
Fountain's dying.
Earth is ours.
Send the beacon.
Spooner, Spooner, what beacon? You need to run now.
Over here! Shoot it! I don't have a clear shot! Well, then shoot us both! I okay! Sara, you okay? - Yeah, where's the other one? - Huh? If they were the scouts, then That was them ringing the dinner bell.
There's more coming.
We are so screwed.
The Zagurons know the Fountain's dead, and they're coming.
The Fountain isn't dead.
It's dying.
Those things are here to finish it off and take over what's left.
Spooner translated the Zag' thoughts.
The power is still inside her, but it is fading fast.
Well, that means there's still hope.
You know, we just have to save the Fountain/Spooner before the armada of carrion lizards overwhelms our planet and kills everyone in sight.
Easy-peasy.
All right, guys, let's brainstorm.
Let's figure out a way to heal this Fountain.
We're gonna figure it out, babe.
Mm.
What is it? I think this is Bishop's plan, for me to watch you and everyone I love die, for me and him to be the only two left.
Well, it won't happen.
We won't let it.
What, B? I know you want to be alone right now, but I need you to look at the mushroom.
- I'm good, thanks.
- I don't think John's dead.
I think he's inside this little guy.
Just look and listen and clear your mind.
Are you high right now? Did you come to me after John died stoned? No, John isn't dead, and that means he can still help us.
He'll know what the Fountain needs to heal.
Stop.
Even if he were somehow alive, he's the last person we should ask for help.
Lest you forget, he screwed all of us over for his pathetic ego trip.
The Zagurons are coming to Earth? I gotta fix this thing faster.
They almost killed me once.
I am not facing them again.
- You won't be alone this time.
- There is no beating them.
There's only escaping.
You want to take the ship and run.
It's the smart thing to do.
Don't worry.
I'll keep the kids safe.
You could you could come too if you want.
Oh, I'm back.
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
I'm back! Hello, Legends.
Did you miss me? By the time you see this recording, I expect John will be dead.
The Fountain will also be dead, and my Zaguron friends should be on their way to destroy you.
I hope I've got that right.
Otherwise possible egg on my face, ooh.
And because I can literally think Sara's thoughts, about now is the time that Sara Lance has figured out my plan for us to live together forever after everyone else has died as the new Adam and Eve.
Sara, your mind must be racing, realizing that the only one who can save the Fountain is me.
And, spoiler alert, I'm not gonna.
All right, so his message gave me an idea.
He said he's the only one who can save the Fountain.
So maybe he should.
Yeah, he's not gonna do that.
Not that guy, but a younger version of him.
Time-napping.
I love it.
Gang, he wasn't always a supervillain, but he's always been super smart.
We got the stuff he poisoned John with.
Maybe, just maybe, the younger version of him can reverse-schmience it and get us an antidote.
It goes against every instinct you have, which means Bishop would never expect it.
If we only ever do what makes sense to you, he will always be one step ahead.
There's only one way to wage a war against yourself.
And that is to have a what Would Sara Never Do Day! It is a really bad idea.
All right.
Now for the moment of truth.
Come to life, Ava Prime.
I'm alive.
Hello.
I'm I'm dying.
Oh, oh.
The neural network is still overloading.
I am never gonna get this right.
Oh! Oh.
You're a working Ava.
Well, I work, but I don't let my work define me, you know? Why are you how are you was that a chronodimensional portal? The less you know, the better.
Headline, we're time travelers, and we need your help.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I must become wildly famous for my genius if time travelers come looking for my help.
I can I must become a really big deal.
- The ego on this dude.
- I know.
All right, Smarty Pants, want to help us save the world? Wow.
Whoever made this is a certified genius an evil genius, - but a genius.
- Yes.
An evil genius who is not like anyone in this room.
I mean, there's some bioengineering in this poison that I'm the only one I've ever met that could think of anything this diabolical.
Exactly why we came to you.
Now, can you please help us? Of course, I can.
I just need some space to work and no distractions.
I spoke to John.
He is in the mushroom.
He wants to talk to us and we all got to eat him.
So you ate a strange mushroom, and you thought you heard John's voice? I know I did.
It's proof that John's alive inside the mushroom.
John wants us to eat the mushroom and talk to him.
He wants to help us heal the Fountain.
John thinking about someone other than himself? Not a chance.
We have a plan.
That plan is crazy, but it still makes more sense than talking to a mushroom.
Zari, wait.
Just consider it.
So are we gonna do this? Communing with a spirit while in an altered state.
It's pretty on-brand for us.
Guys, I'm sorry, but no.
No, definitely not.
The last thing we need to be doing is tripping on mushrooms.
Hm, yeah, well, isn't it What Would Sara Never Do Day? - I'm just saying.
- We already played that game.
And now it's time to prepare for an alien invasion.
So please everyone just go make yourself useful, okay? You're right.
Sara.
Sara.
Eat me.
- John? - Eat the mushroom, love.
- John.
- Sara.
Join me.
Sara.
- John.
- Hello, Sara.
Are you Are you alive? Not exactly.
I'm present.
What I did was unforgivable.
It's okay because we're creating an antidote for the poison that you gave the Fountain, and we can still stop the Zagurons from coming.
That won't be enough.
Even if you heal the physical side of the Fountain, the spiritual side will remain ill.
John, I need your help.
I need you and the Fountain to help.
The Fountain has a mind of its own.
It no longer deems human beings worthy of its protection.
Damn it, John, you did this.
You need to fix this.
I cannot separate myself from the Fountain.
My life force is the only thing keeping the Fountain and Spooner alive.
If I leave, they both perish.
I must stay as long as I can and let the remnants of my soul be drained.
Mushrooms feed off death, and so I'm gonna feed it.
I owe it that much.
Sorry it had to be this way.
Do you remember all those years ago, when I said that stable relationships weren't right for you and me? I was wrong.
Loving and being loved, that is the point.
I had that.
It should have been enough, but I wanted more.
Now the whole world, especially Zari, is suffering because of my mistake.
I think I understand.
There's one last thing I need to tell you.
It's the greatest thing I've learned since bonding with the Fountain.
It's the secret to all life.
- Gideon, run a diagnostic.
- All systems functioning.
And may I add, nice job on the repairs, Kayla.
Excellent.
Then let's get out of here.
Set a course for the temporal zone.
- Jump coordinates plotted.
- Do it.
Executing.
- Powering down.
- No, you don't.
We can't stay here.
Do you understand? I am trying to protect our children.
I'm not leaving without my kids.
I'm not abandoning my friends or this planet.
You know, I could just snap your head off and take that stupid button of yours.
Yeah, but you won't.
There's a part of you that cares.
Astounding.
How long until the antidote is ready? We're kind of on the clock here.
- It's done.
- Guys, I know the answer.
I know the answer to all of our questions.
It's the meaning of life.
You ate the mushroom, didn't you? Yes, and I saw John.
- What? - Yeah.
He told me what this is about.
He told me what everything is about.
He said "We are all connected".
I think I saw that on a bumper sticker once.
It was really profound in the moment.
Whoa.
- That's some strong juju.
- Spooner.
Good to have you back.
Wait, since Spooner and the Fountain are connected, does that mean the Fountain is restored and we stopped the invasion? Ugh, there are thousands of these scattered around the area.
I mean, even if we could destroy the pods, there are too many of them.
You know, they're too spread out.
This is classic Zaguron perimeter technique.
They land, wait for dark, and then they eat anyone who isn't smart enough to get out of their way.
- What? - Which is something we should be doing.
No, we're not running.
It's 1925.
They'll destroy the entire human race before we're ever born.
We got to hold the line.
Heart rate normal.
Blood pressure is good.
I think you're finally back with us, Ms.
Cruz.
How do you feel? Like I just ran a marathon.
Sweaty, starving.
- Here, darling, try this.
- Gracias, Mami.
So, Spooner, I'm glad you're feeling better and not to be a buzzkill, but can you hear what those Zagurons are thinking, find out what they're doing out there? I got nothing.
The only thoughts in my head right now are my own.
I don't feel aliens or mushrooms or anything.
Sorry, I'm I'm confused.
I thought you and the Fountain were linked.
If you're fine, then then shouldn't the Fountain wake up or whatever? Scare the Zags away? Look, the one thing I learned while being connected to the Fountain: it doesn't want to help us.
Then we better have a damn good plan B.
All right, we have about four more hours left of daylight, so we've got to gear up, hydrate, and prepare for the fight of our lives.
- Ava, will you marry me? - What? Babe, we already did the proposal thing.
No, no, I mean, marry me now, today, before the apocalypse.
What are you talking about? We can't just Why not? We're gonna have to fight those things anyway.
We're as ready as we're ever gonna be, and four hours is totally doable.
Ooh, we can get the whole team on board.
We've produced much crazier miracles in far less time.
No, I would rather save the miracles for the actual fight.
You guys, we may not survive the night.
Then let's go out on our own terms, do things our way, do what we've always wanted to do.
Babe, we've got our friends, we've got our vows, and we've got four hours.
What else do we need? I don't know, maybe for the world not to be ending.
Hey, John told me the most important thing in life is loving someone and being loved, and if getting married is the last thing that we do together, then damn, I will be just fine with that.
You have really gone to town with this "what would Sara Lance never do" thing.
Um okay, let's do it! I don't let's get married.
- Yay! - Wedding before war! - Yes! - Yes! Come on.
Ready for a celebration I've been waiting my whole life Who ever knew it could be so good? I feel like I'm right on time You make me a believer You're one of a kind You make me a believer Believer, believer Believer No doubt in my mind The last time I used this tablecloth was for my wedding to your papi.
I thought I would keep it locked away until I used it for yours.
I'm not sure that's ever going to happen.
Stopping aliens is what my friends and I do.
But I can't protect the planet if I'm too busy protecting you.
You're too important to me, Mami.
I need you to be safe.
Pero this is my home.
I built it with my own two hands for you, for us.
I spent my whole life thinking aliens killed you.
I never thought I'd see you again.
I thought I'd lost you forever.
This this has been a gift.
I've never been happier to be wrong about anything, but if you stay, then that horrible story I had to live with for 20 years will be true.
I'll go pack my things.
Fabrication - Here's your gown.
- Thank you, Gary.
- What are you writing? - Nothing! I'm writing nothing because every time I write something down, it's stupid and meaningless, and wedding vows are supposed to be perfect.
You waited until right now to write your vows? Sorry.
It's just very unlike you.
I waited until now because before I was focused on every tiny detail of my dream wedding, and now we're throwing it all the way and racing into this slapdash ceremony, and I have no time, and I feel like I'm gonna just screw it all up here.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, deep breaths.
Huh? It's gonna be fine.
How? Sara already wrote her vows, Gary.
Sara, the person who never plans anything, already did the one thing that every wedding needs.
It's okay.
Here's what's going to happen.
You're going to walk down that aisle - Mm-hmm.
- To the love of your life.
She's gonna say some very beautiful things to you.
- That's not helping.
- No, no, no.
And then you you're gonna look deep into those gorgeous blue eyes - of hers and say what you feel.
- I feel sick.
- Don't say that.
- I don't What do you you want me to improvise, me? - Yeah, you.
- I can't.
Because I know what you say in that moment will be perfect because it's true because it's you.
- Gary.
- Mm-hmm? Will you please walk me down the aisle? It would be my greatest honor, Director Sharpe.
For you There'll be no more crying For you The Sun will be shining Thanks for coming.
It's not like you gave me much choice.
You brought the kids.
Well, last time they were left on the ship, they almost blew up.
Yes.
Yes, they did.
And the songbirds Are singing Like they know the score And I love you I love you I love you like never before And I love you I love you I love you Like never before We're gathered here today on what may very well be our last to celebrate the union of these two amazing people.
I fondly remember the moment they met.
She had a gun.
She had a glare.
Destiny was at work.
We've all been through a lot since that day, and on that journey, you've challenged each other to be the best versions of yourself possible.
This moment, this wedding, this is exactly what the world needs.
We're facing insurmountable odds, but even during the darkest of times, when hope seems lost, love.
Love is what matters most.
Ava, the perfect woman, what could a mess like me ever have to offer someone as special as you? I can't exactly say it was love at first sight, but you did look really good in that pantsuit.
But the more that I got to know you, and I got to feel your kindness and your honesty, well, this heart, once so cold and guarded, it just it just melted.
And Ava, it's because of you that I get to know what true love feels like.
And so, today, here in front of all of our friends I want to make these vows to you.
I will always be your champion, your lover.
I will always be your family, and I will listen to you even when the words are hard to hear, and I will let you in even when I'm afraid, and I will support you.
I will fight for you.
And above all, Ava Sharpe, I will love you.
Wow.
Your turn.
Oh, oh, man.
I Sara, I my life before you was a perfect fabrication, and then you came into my world, and everything just became a whirlwind, you know? You brought chaos into my tidy, predictable existence, and you pretty much brought me to life, so I vow to you to live this life together.
Co-captains forever, baby.
I love you so, so much, Sara Lance.
I love you.
I love you.
Oh.
So if there's no objections That's my ship! You've got to be kidding me.
What a darling setup you've got here.
Pre-apocalypse nuptials are all the rage, but you know it's gonna be you and me for all eternity, Sara Lance.
Is that me? Am I the villain? Wait, is that my younger self down there? Wow, that's embarrassing.
I did not see that coming.
Well played, but I'm afraid It's all for naught 'cause you know what your little party is missing? Wedding crashers.
Ta-ta, you crazy kids.
All right, anybody without steel skin or regeneration fall back and barricade the house.
I ain't running.
Come get your weapons, folks.
I got my own, thanks.
Here.
Get out of here.
- I'm staying.
- What? This family is sticking together.
Hey, it was a perfect wedding.
Yeah.
Guys, we might want to rethink our stance on running.
Uh, yeah, we gotta go! - Go, go! - Go, go, go.
- Run! - Go, go, go! Go, go, go! Reinforce the entry points, use anything you can find.
- Go, go, go.
- What's happening? - You need to hide.
- Should I help? You've done enough! Ah! Come on.
Spooner, we need your mom's medical supplies.
I'm on it.
Come on, Behrad.
Hey, just stay with me, okay? I'm not losing you too.
Oh, no.
It's spreading too quick.
- We need a tourniquet.
- That's not gonna help.
Zari, hold him down.
B, close your eyes.
- Wait, what are you doing? - Saving his life.
That venom is gonna kill him like it killed me.
There is no cure.
We have to stop the spread.
Now, hold him down.
Hey, you are not touching him with that thing.
I'm trying to save him.
Not with that, you're not.
- He's gonna die.
- Stop fighting! You guys seeing this? You gave him my powers.
It's the Fountain.
I can feel it.
It's waking up.
It's like it's like John said, we're all connected.
Come on.
Yeah.
Nate's powers to Ava.
I need a weapon.
Spoons! Ugh, damn it! Sara, you're up! - What's happening? - Just go with it! Right.
Watch out.
We're not gonna make it.
At least we got to get married before the end, right? Wait, you're not married.
We didn't do the "I do's".
I'll buy you some time.
Everyone, huddle up! We're getting these two hitched even if it's the last thing we do.
Get married quick before I change my mind.
Sara, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife till death do you part? I do.
Do you, Ava, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife till death do you part? I do.
Then by the power vested in me by the World Wide Web, I pronounce you wife and wife.
So that was the Fountain of Imperium.
And it saved us.
It decided we were worth it after all.
Guess getting hitched at the end of the world - wasn't such a bad idea.
- Damn right, wifey.
- Mm.
- Ooh.
The fountain loves love! Stupid Zags and their stupid mushroom allergy.
Well, if you want something done right, you got to do it your damn self.
Give it up, Bishop.
You lost.
Never! Ooh.
It's time.
I'll give you one last chance to leave and never come back.
I found your younger self once, and I'll do it again, end you before you become the sad, little, deranged man you are now.
I will blast each and every human on this stupid planet to bits, starting with all of you.
I don't care how long it takes.
You and I will be the only two left.
What the ? Wait, are those aww! Ow! Ah, get off me! Get off me! Ow, oh, oh, stop! Mm-hmm.
- Oh.
- Oh, yeah.
Necrian babies wake up very hungry.
They'll typically devour the first thing they see.
Did I not mention that before? No.
Oh.
Hey little guy or girl.
Either way, I love you.
- Aww.
- Oh.
Guys, you got married.
You became parents.
Mazel tov, everybody! Let's rage! I think I understand now.
You brought me here as a warning to show me what I'll become if I don't change my ways.
Well, I got the message, and I swear I will never become that.
Thank you.
- It's a very sweet sentiment.
- It is.
But, unfortunately, you're gonna have to live out that destiny.
It's how the timeline works.
Sorry.
- Ava Prime? - Here we go.
Is this a dream? Click your heels, Dorothy.
You're going home.
I really did love you.
I wish that could've been enough.
What's the hurry, love? You you bastard.
What, you've been sneaking around here this whole time? No, no, no, I just got here, honestly, really.
You know, after the Fountain healed and could survive without me, it saw the purity of my sacrifice, and it's offered to give me another chance.
Your purity? Don't lie to me.
Okay, all right.
I was joking.
The Fountain didn't think too highly of me, even less after I contacted an old associate in Hell.
Long story short, the chit to my soul now belongs to a demon once again, and the Fountain is very happy that I'm no longer bound to it.
Wow, you haven't changed at all, have you? You know, people can change and not change at the same time.
I'm still a bastard.
I know that.
But I guess now I know what I'm missing by being a bastard.
We mucked it up.
We mucked it up just like you said we would.
I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat, love.
Me too.
Listen, I have to walk a different path now, away from the Legends.
But here, take this.
An old key.
What is this for? You'll find out.
Life's crazy, isn't it? Imagine if our first day on the Waverider, we travel to this moment to this house, and we saw me, a captain with a wife and you with 48 kids.
49 and a grandbaby on the way.
I don't think we would have recognized ourselves.
No, got to move forward, I guess, to the next job.
A new partner.
Yeah, I had a feeling that was coming.
You know you'll always have a home on the Waverider.
But I guess you'll be busy taking care of 48 punks.
Well, I've learned a thing or two about handling punks.
Watched you do it for six years.
There you go.
What's this? It's a bridal bouquet.
That means you're next.
Well, that's that.
Yeah, I'm kind of nervous.
Things rarely wrap up in a neat little bow for us.
No, come on, babe.
Don't be paranoid.
Life is gonna start going our way.
What the hell? Ugh.
Greg, move your head.

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