Dear White People (2017) s02e09 Episode Script

Chapter IX

1 Jo, say something.
You You're scaring me.
You gotta go home.
You gotta go home, Sam.
William Gordon White, 64, of Newport, Rhode Island, passed away due to complications from heart failure.
William is survived by his wife Tina and his daughter Samantha.
William enjoyed cooking, gardening and spending time with his family, particularly his daughter Sam, whom he affectionately called "Samwich.
" A high school English teacher, William was an avid reader and proud board member of the Providence Athenaeum.
He never retired, his passion for education fulfilling him to the end.
And these are the best years of your life.
Don't waste them by making things difficult.
Did you really just call me to tell me I'm difficult? No, I, uh I tried to text you and All right, Dad.
Take care.
Good night.
A celebration-of-life service will be held at Campbell Funeral Home.
You ready? Don't you worry about nothing while you're gone.
We got the bigger venue for Carson.
This Rikki Carter event's gonna look as relevant as a statement of apology from Kevin Spacey.
I appreciate it.
And if you're looking for something therapeutic, I could give you a picture of Rikki Carter and a set of darts.
She already has both.
Thanks, Reg.
Text me when you make it.
Promise.
Ah, here you go.
I filled her up, and I sprung for full coverage, because Joelle is driving.
For the record, I'm an excellent driver.
I just don't like when people get in my way.
They're public roads.
People tend to be on them.
Oh, and I got you guys some water.
You know? Just in case.
In case of Armageddon? It's a two-hour drive.
Okay, thanks, Gabe.
Yeah, of course.
Hey, I got it.
- Thank you.
- And you know, if you, uh If you need absolutely anything you know.
Yeah, I do.
Uh, are we gonna okay.
TV-PG.
Mild adult themes.
Okay, say your secret bestie goodbyes.
Gabe - Yeah? - You know, it's nice having a friend with an AARP discount.
Eh, could you say that into my good ear? Hey, wait! Wait! Wait! The hell? Co, what are you doing? - I'm going with you.
- You know we're going to a funeral and not an outlet mall? Sam, I loved your dad.
He was like a father to me.
Yeah, but he actually was a father to me, so Either I come with you or take the train.
I will be there for you.
And low-key, I've been talking with your mom.
She's expecting me.
Get in, Co.
Motherfucker, you should've walked if you wanted to drive this slow! - Ooh, outlet mall! - Not stopping.
Why do you get to decide? Sam may benefit from a soothing walk through discount leather goods.
Not stopping.
We can't stop for Funyuns.
We can't stop for Fendi.
What are we supposed to do on this ride? Are you looking for suggestions? 'Cause I got a few.
Sam loves music! I got a great playlist.
No.
No.
Mnh-mnh.
I appreciate you trying to entertain me, but I just want to be.
Okay? I meant to call him last week.
Fuck silence.
Entertain me, please.
If you only knew The way I feel about you I just can't describe it Oh, no, no Finally It's happened to me Right in front of my face My feelings can't describe it Finally it has happened to me Right in front of my face And I just cannot hide it No one can know how much I got into that song.
Yeah, it's Stockholm syndrome.
You fell in love with your trash-pop captor.
Ah, Uncle Mike and Uncle Stu.
Fair warning: they agree with each other on almost everything, and yet, they fight constantly.
- Like Black Twitter.
- And Black Caucus.
Aww, Frosty.
And the lights are up.
My dad must have put those up the day after Thanksgiving.
I'm not sure I can do this.
Everybody crying and hugging me, and asking me if I'm okay, and Sammy! Oh, my beautiful niece.
Oh, baby, how are you doing? Me too.
It's okay.
You make it rain.
You know, our tears are just our eyes' way of saying "I love you.
" Thank you, Aunt Gloria.
I just think I'm kind of rained out.
Aww.
Well, I don't know you two, but any friends of Sammy's are family, and family gets hugs.
Okay, all right, all right! - I choke easily.
- Come here! That's a problem, sure, but that's not the only one! I loved Obama, but Whoa, whoa, whoa, please don't finish - that sentence.
- He could have gone further! Uncle Stu and Uncle Mike.
What gave them away? I wish Billy were here to back me up.
He hated the way the Democrats moved to the center.
That's not what he hated.
He hated it when you called him Billy.
That's what William hated.
He was my brother.
Ah, yes, but he thought you were an ass-hat.
Guys! - Sam! - Oh, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam! Ah, no, I'm so sorry, baby girl.
Hey, Sam, how you doing? How you holding up there? - Oh, you know, the best I can.
- Yeah, it's hard to believe he's gone.
He's not gone.
Billy is right here with us, right now, watching over us, and he's agreeing with me.
Really? Really? So I assume you're gonna introduce us here.
These are my friends Joelle and Coco.
Joelle, hi, I'm Mike.
- Joelle? - No, I'm Joelle.
- Hi.
- Yeah, it's Right, right, right.
Guys, I'm gonna go find my mom.
- Yeah, she's back there, Sam.
- I'll see you all later.
Sam! Oh, my Sammy is home! Oh! And girls Hi, Mrs.
White.
Hi.
How was your drive? Well, Jo was behind the wheel, and the fact that I'm able to wrap my arms around you is a blessing.
Hey, how you holding up? You know.
How are you? I'm good.
I'm terrific.
So listen, can I get you girls some food, or a beverage or dessert or Why "or"? Right.
You know what? You girls are so sweet to travel all this way with Sam, and you look so gorgeous! What they putting in the water at that school? Mostly lead, but they finally changed the pipes.
Joelle, you crack me up, girl.
Can I help with anything, Miss Tina? I can make a crudité platter that looks like an owl.
You know what? You're a damn dream, Coco.
You know, last time she was here, she turned a watermelon into a swan.
Turning fruits and vegetables into animals.
- She's practically Jesus.
- Right? "Congratulations"? What is that about? Oh, that's your Aunt Pearl.
Either she's bad at the Internet or she's an asshole who hated my husband.
Sam, I need you to come and finish up this lemonade.
I need to go downstairs to the basement, get some more soda.
Your Uncle Stu will drink that Coke Zero Sugar like the meaning of life is at the bottom of the can.
She seems to be taking things well.
Yeah, it's weird.
Usually, I'm the stoic one.
She's the one who cries at videos of babies singing Gospel.
Is that a genre? What? The Internet's been holding out on me! Oh, my God, I'm so excited.
So it's Billy and Tina's first date.
After he asked her out, like, 15 times.
They're getting hammered watching the Celtics, and imagine, Billy's rooting for Boston, of course, 'cause, you know, - he's got a soul.
- Oh, stop.
And Tina's rooting for Orlando, 'cause she has a crush on a young Shaquille O'Neal.
Must you always tell this story? We tease her relentlessly because she fell for William, who couldn't look less like Shaq.
Well, can a sister have range? Anyways, they make this bet.
.
Whoever's team loses has to run naked into Wallum Lake.
Okay, get it, Papa White! And, of course, Orlando wins, so Billy, being a man of his word, drops trou and drives into the lake.
And I don't know if it was the beer or her being ride-or-die, but Tina strips down and jumps in the lake, and they have their first kiss.
Cold, naked kiss.
- All right.
- Oh! Why'd you have to take it there? I present my famous hoo-dité.
- Oh.
- Hmm.
Because owls go "hoo.
" We get it, Co, but "hoo" did you think was gonna laugh at that? Must be nice having a college campus.
Like, a real one, with trees and cute boys.
Yeah, it's great.
University of Phoenix didn't have either.
I mean, I'm sure they had cute boys, but I couldn't see them through my computer.
Sam, can you tell this fool that no self-respecting music lover would ever call Elvis "The King"? Here it is.
"Elvis Presley, AKA 'The King of Rock and Roll.
'" Now, are you calling Wikipedia a liar? Dad actually called him "the king of whitewashing and cultural appropriation.
" Wonder why that never caught on.
A toast to Papa White! Aww, man.
May he live on forever in all of us.
- All right, cheers.
- You're sweet.
Oh, I got you, girl.
Oh, I didn't get you.
All right.
Oh, that's, uh Does this taste like tea to anybody else? Sam and I may have broken into Papa White's stash freshman year.
And it's possible that we replaced it with tea to cover our tracks, allegedly.
- Allegedly.
- Wow! Uncle Billy probably knew about that, but he let it slide.
He loved you so much.
He really was at peace.
Even in the hospital, after his second surgery, he was still cracking jokes.
Second surgery? Oh, we were praying so hard after his first one, but he just kept saying, "When your heart's as big as mine, it's gonna need some extra work.
" Sam, could you get me some more of those containers, please? Maybe we should consume these 12 bricks of chili from Labor Day before we freeze any more.
Can you take a break? I need to talk to you.
We'll have time to talk.
Now I have a house full of guests and a speech to write.
How's yours coming along? I don't feel like speaking, Mom.
Can't I just grieve in peace? You are his only child.
People are gonna expect to hear from you.
I expected to hear from you that Dad went back into the hospital again.
I was holding out hope that he was gonna recover.
He had such a positive attitude, and calling you home it would have felt like like I was giving up.
Well, for me, it would've felt like getting a chance to say goodbye.
But you took that from me, and I lost my father.
And I lost my husband.
That man was the only person who really understood me.
For years after we married, nobody in my family would even talk to me.
It was just us.
He was my whole world.
So you don't have a monopoly on grief, little girl.
I always knew you were a witch.
My flawless skin does suggest magic.
Happy to mix you a vial.
It's formulated especially for us Kellys.
Girl, if you got bedbugs up in here, you needed to tell me 200 miles ago.
Why didn't she tell me my dad was in the hospital again? She called to tell me she got a new dishwasher.
Well, it was a Bosch.
They're virtually silent.
Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief.
Life has a way of forcing us to make tough choices.
Certainly made my share.
Like what? This isn't about me.
I'm not even mad at her.
I'm mad at myself.
The last time I talked to my dad, I didn't even let him finish his sentence before I hung up.
Yeah, but no one expects to finish a sentence around you.
You just lost your dad.
Don't beat yourself up over a phone call.
He deserved so much better.
In high school, someone on the debate team thought he was my driver, and I never set them straight.
They thought a white man was your driver? What kind of town is this? Now I'm supposed to speak at his funeral.
I don't know what to say.
Just speak from the heart.
You love talking.
It's kind of your thing.
You'll do great.
But you should prepare something in case you get choked up.
She doesn't need homework.
You're stressing her out.
I'm helping her, not just co-signing everything that she says.
You never challenge her.
This isn't the time to challenge her.
Her father just died.
Sure, but to blindly support her how's she ever gonna grow? Maybe she doesn't want to grow.
Maybe she just wants to cry.
That one.
I really do.
Well, you got my shoulder, and though it's a touch bonier and ice-cold, Coco's shoulder as well.
I don't deserve to speak at his funeral.
I just yelled at my mom.
I treated my dad like crap.
What is wrong with me? I have a list.
You prefer a PDF or a Word doc? I just should've been nicer to him.
He used to text me facts about weird things like the moon.
"It's waxing tonight, Samwich.
" "It's a waning gibbous tonight, Samwich.
" I never even Googled what those words mean.
All that rejection.
I must've broken his heart.
He never thought of that as rejection.
He was just worried about you.
How do you know? We stayed in contact, even after you went all Mean Girl on me, ending our friendship and your access to much-needed hair and fashion tips.
Ill-timed shade.
Your dad once told me, "Sam's difficult.
She'll fight you at every turn, but that's just because everything she does, she does with passion.
" He said his baby girl was going to change the world.
I'm sitting here, spinning my friend wheels, and you're sitting on that gem? I loved how you always signed your full name Samantha White like I wouldn't know which Samantha it was from.
What can I say? I had a fascination with game-changers.
- I can't believe you kept all of these.
- Yep.
I listened to every one of your broadcasts.
And I also kept every one of your macaroni projects.
You're the reason I'm a devoted patron of pasta-based art.
I found those in a bookstore in town, right after we dropped you off freshman year.
Pretty cool, huh? When the truth is suppressed, it doesn't die.
It just goes underground.
Ah.
Our favorite book.
Nothing like a little father-daughter bonding over organized crime.
Dear Samwich, if you've found this, you're about to read the second-best piece of writing in this book.
I've always had great respect for unforeseen circumstances that can blindside us, also known as "shit happens," and in my case, shit happened.
So, now that I'm gone, here's what I need to say.
First off, I know you must be upset with your mom for not telling you I was in the hospital but I didn't want you to see me like that so don't blame her.
Also, I forgive you for dipping into my special bottle of Blue Label.
Yeah, I know about that.
You might be angry with me for not being around.
"That's okay.
Be angry.
That's part of facing grief.
Do or say anything that will help you, even if it means cursing me up and down.
I'm only a memory now and you can't hurt a memory's feelings.
I know the world is a baffling place, Sam, and people are the weirdest creatures in nature, so If it all seems very confusing to you, you're probably just seeing it clearly.
You don't have to be the person you think I want you to be.
Become the person you want to be.
Walk your path with awareness and gratitude, even when it seems imposs And, Tina I know this seems crazy in light of what's happened, but you should do whatever it takes to be happy in this life.
You deserve to be happy.
My hope is for you to go on and find love again, but please, not with Shaquille O'Neal.
" "You have your whole life ahead of you.
Make the most of it.
I did.
" That was my dad.
He knew I would struggle with a speech, so he wrote one for me.
There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for me.
He was always there.
Challenging me, intellectually.
Keeping me on the right path.
But most importantly, he wanted to make sure that I didn't fall prey to certain social definitions of who I should be.
Well, Daddy, you succeeded.
Because of you, I know who I am, and I'm going to make you so proud.
Coco, can you grab Sam for me, please? I'm here, Mom.
I just went to Costco.
Oh.
Well, I hope you got some of that rotisserie chicken.
It always blows my mind how you can have the world's tastiest chicken and patio furniture all in one place.
Actually, I just got plastic containers.
I didn't want all of that amazing chili of yours going to waste.
I'm sorry about what I said earlier.
I'm the one who's sorry.
It wasn't until you read that letter that I realized what a brave face he was putting on for all of us.
I should've known better.
That was Dad.
Always the protector.
You know, I always thought that our biggest problem was gonna be getting sick of each other by the time we grew old, but I never had a chance to get sick of him.
Mom I promise you'll have a chance to get sick of me.
Now, I always knew you were smarter than me, but I never knew you were stronger.
Samwich.
Uh, I've never heard you call me that.
I want to think that your dad left it for me.
He always gave me the most perfect gifts.
Mom Look.
It's snowing.
After we're done with this, we're gonna exfoliate those sandpaper elbows.
Do your magic.
Like my world hadn't turned upside-down enough.
This is happening? Stockholm syndrome.
I've fallen in love with my CoverGirl captor.
- Hey, Lionel.
- Hey.
What's wrong? Before you hear about it online, we lost Carson Rhodes.
What? He died, too? No.
He's not coming to Winchester.
What happened? In the midst of my downward spiral, I failed to secure CORE's annual funding.
Mea culpa.
But thanks to you, I'm having lunch with my dad tomorrow.
Yeah, I'm gonna tell him I love him.
Wait, let's just see how lunch goes.
So I lost my dad, and now, thanks to you, we lost Carson.
It's not like Coco caught the mistake.
Don't even fucking start with me.
I'm on it.
Is this supposed to burn? So we got nothing.
Fuck! Yeah, fuck.
Wait.
Maybe not fuck.
What do you got? I'll explain when I get back.