Dear White People (2017) s02e10 Episode Script

Chapter X

1 [bell tolling] [indistinct chatter] [narrator] Ah, Winchester University, entangled in yet another national controversy.
[Nate] Guys, look.
We're okay.
This is exactly why our tuition shouldn't be paying Tan Coulter to speak here.
Do you think this is gonna turn into an Antifa situa'sh? Finals are tomorrow.
Do people really feel this threatened? [Joelle] Dear White People, something must've gotten lost in translation.
Malcolm told us it's okay to celebrate our being black because in so many ways, our being is under attack.
- Oh, my God.
- I know.
Student radio station, blaring it 24-7 in every open space is the only way they get can people to listen.
Not that.
I mean, yes, that's true and sad and annoying, but no, this says that quinoa is a form of systemic oppression.
Oh, yeah.
I heard that.
Americans are so into quinoa that the Peruvians who depend on it can't afford it anymore.
We should do something.
[Joelle] Are we so base they had to invent race to separate us? I know my hair don't bounce right and my ass is too tight in these jeans Hey, Coco! Um Hi.
Okay, this article says the quinoa thing ended up being fake news.
[laughs] Oh, my God.
[narrator] And if you're worried, Winchester's community of great thinkers won't be able to figure their way out of this racial conundrum, well, you might have a point.
Watch closely.
We cherish our wealthy, our successful and our ourselves to rid our thoughts of that nagging, niggling notion that we are niggers because you Is there a limit on how many times you can broadcast that word? [Sam] We have a three "nigga" maximum.
Is it just me, or are her eyes moving? Totally possible.
So [sighs] what's the plan? This is a compilation of actual secret society handbook scans.
This one's missing its name, but you see how the "X" s here match the ones here? It's got to be Order of X.
Right? Hmm.
In my research, I found mentions of "an order" of former slaves and black students conspiring to topple society - Sounds promising.
- But only up until the '40s.
And white people through history hate love a black revenge fantasy.
So you don't believe it's real.
What about the online accounts? Anyone can make those.
[Sam] Look, okay, it says here: "Candidates should watch closely for a sign they've been tapped.
At midnight on finals eve, candidates must meet at the designated location.
" [Lionel] Finals are tomorrow, Sam.
[Sam] And I had an X just like this one on my door when I got back.
[Lionel] So did I.
I thought it was just malarkey, codswallop, fiddle faddle.
Are you having a stroke? Sorry.
A lot of my pleasure reading is from the 17th century.
Huey, Medgar, Barack.
Who's left? All our heroes got got.
Where did you get all this? [sighs] My dad, um, found these in a rare bookstore in town.
He was saving it for graduation.
Sam, we don't have to do this now.
My dad believed that everything, even the worst things, happen for a reason.
It's been a shitty year, Lionel.
I need there to be a reason.
What if the Order is the piece we've been missing? The leaders of the '60s were able to make progress despite their differences.
Now we can't even get through a Black Caucus discussion without it devolving into a Maury Povich DNA reveal.
But what if there's a network of us, generations in the making? We could be on the front lines of this.
[Lionel sighs] We only have a few hours to figure out where to meet.
That's if they're real.
Where have they been this whole time? Something is here, and it's calling you and me.
Are you really going to pass up a chance to answer? [phone chimes] [sighs] I have tons of research enough to be committed, but let me go through it and see what I can come up with.
- I can help.
- [Lionel] No.
You already have something to do.
But I'll text you if I find anything.
Thanks, Lionel.
[phone chimes] There was a coup, and it was black bodies remind for their red, white and blue.
When I see the pain in Dr.
King's stare, a pain Baldwin said was put there by design Who knows what any of that means, but it don't sound friendly.
[chuckles] Rikki Carter is a known shit-stirrer, and clearly this appearance will be no different.
Now especially with Carson's cancellation, these kids could create a situation outside the auditorium.
[Fairbanks] Which kids do you mean? Dean.
Be alert and ready for anything.
[Joelle] Read from the pages of heroes in ages where everyone had your hue.
This is bullshit.
Well, you don't have to suffer it much longer, Ames, since this is your last week.
Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Better yet, let it.
My brother, uh, got me a job on the force, so my ass is fine.
I'll be a "statie" by this time next month.
So you watch your speed, Walter.
[Joelle] Let our heroes bloom above our heads and lead us to our dream, and our salvation is linked because despite the animal instincts that pulse in our gray matter, our blood is the same.
[moaning] Why are you so cruel? Ooh, the shrill timbre of Joelle's slam poetry is destabilizing.
And why do you still have a clock radio? It's ironic.
I'm lazy.
Pick one.
Just get back over here.
[Coco moans] Watch it.
You almost got the lips.
Oh, what was I thinking? How are we supposed to avoid the monotony of an actual relationship if I go kissing you on the lips? I'd really hate to have to get to know you.
My black card is teetering on the edge of revocation.
Plus, I have no interest.
- Oh, really? - Mnh-mnh.
No interest? That's why you're all up in my DMs.
I needed your help.
[laughs] That's not all you needed.
- Oh, your caustic wit - Hmm.
a CrossFit body and aversion to commitment - Go on.
- [laughs] were a surprise, but I'm not interested in anything heavy.
Doesn't get lighter than me.
Thank you, by the way.
I just have to get the Black Caucus on board.
You haven't told them yet.
Couldn't risk it getting out.
Our little list of secrets is racking up.
[phone buzzes] Speaking of.
Do you want me to say hi for you? [chuckles] Do what you want.
Either way, 15 minutes ain't all that much time.
- You're right about that.
- Yeah.
[Kurt] Yo.
- Hey.
- What's good? 'Sup, man? [Kurt] What's going on? I need you to look at this.
And this is It's my sketch packet for Pastiche.
I got one where Rikki Carter goes on Ancestry.
com and finds out she's black.
[Kurt laughs] Nice one.
The packet's a little thin.
Look, cut the shit.
I know what this is.
Just get me into the parties.
I'll take it from there.
All right.
[sighs] I'll help you out, but it's not like freshman year.
It's a whole process now.
What's that mean? You need more samples.
That's just a start, okay? [Al] Hey, Troy! Hey, nigga! Troy! Now's our time, man.
Can you speak up? Man, I said, now's our time.
What the hell are you talking about, Al? I'm talking about carpe-ing the motherfucking diem.
About finding out who started the fire.
About getting the undeniable proof via security footage that Davis House was burned intentionally to integrate A-P.
Those security fucks just rolled out to handle what might come of this Rikki situation, leaving a path to the truth.
Yeah, I'm gonna pass, but, um, Godspeed, Al, and his weird-ass crew who just co-signed him.
You're gonna be on the wrong side of history on this one, Troy! Man! [Coco] You all know what our campus security is capable of.
The only way to bring Rikki down is to keep the plan a total secret.
Can we help you, Troy? Come on, Coco.
He's one of us.
Guys, if this is about Rikki, I'm good.
My rally days are done.
[James] But, Troy Good luck, guys.
[indistinct chatter] Staring truth in the face This life is a game Wish I could escape My pain [music stops] [man] Oh, my God.
- [man] Let me do it.
-[moaning] [moaning continues] [man] Oh, yeah.
[Wesley] Nope.
Okay, left.
Ugh, nope.
It's like a "Street Fighter" combo.
Hadouken! [chuckles] Ah! Abort! Abort! Where's the lube? I need an APB on the lube.
Found it.
[Wesley] Sorry.
That was just a lot to take at once.
[moaning continues on TV] [Wesley] Okay.
Now do that again, but slow.
[Wesley moaning] I love you.
What was that? Uh hey, boo.
[both moaning] After her co-starring role on Prince-O-Palities, P Ninny's star was on the rise.
But when Bossip broke the news that P Ninny and Trill Stein's relationship was a sham, audiences turned on her faster than NFL owners turn on their players.
I wish we could stay like this all day.
Why can't we? Top-secret writer nerd stuff? [sighs] Something like that.
Trill knew I was a lesbian.
- Okay.
- The public did, too.
They were just in denial.
Look at my clothes.
Well, yes.
Look, P Ninny is a character I created, and there's nothing people hate more than a boss-ass bitch.
They do hate it.
Particularly a black butch with a light face-beat.
That you do, girl.
These dudes out here, they're threatened by, like, black lesbians.
That's why they try to hide us.
We end up hiding ourselves.
I can't believe she got dropped from Trap House Tricks over this.
Another win for our oppressive heteronormative society.
Right? Nothing good can come from sex and gender norms.
Except monogamy.
No, come on.
This whole "finding the one" thing, it's total bullshit.
I'm glad we don't have to play by those rules.
[Dereca] But let's get into your hit single, "Gimme Dat Peen-Peen (I Love a Ding-a-ling).
" First question, why the parenthetical? My rose would definitely be punching that hotep in the mouth.
My thorn Seeing you with that nigga in the first place.
He didn't deserve you.
Yeah, well, he didn't just talk about what I deserved and didn't.
He made a move.
He made me feel chosen.
[Dereca] I know what this requires.
Is that for me? You know it is.
- Damn it.
- Uh! Oh, yes.
There's the pain, all over my chest.
Shit just got messed up at campus security, 'cause that rent-a-cop was there.
What do you say about rushing ole dude? Ask for his ID, teach him a lesson.
Then after we've doled out our revenge over getting shot in the shoulder, nearly paralyzing you What? That didn't happen.
- Nigga, you was there! - We can steal the security tape.
Seriously, I know the moment's got you all hyped right now, but you need to let whatever this is go, man.
You should really join the rest of Black Caucus.
We done with rallies and protests, whatever y'all got planned.
- But, Al - It's just a bunch of people screaming opinions at each other.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
We got to try something new.
Come on, y'all.
[woman] Yeah, let's go.
They keep security footage on the network drive in Fitzgerald Hall.
Just pretend you're CS majors.
Try to pretend you're CS majors.
Good lookin' out, fam.
[woman] Let's do this.
[Joelle sighs] [Reggie] What's that above the doorknob? [Joelle] I don't know, but it's a step above hate bananas, so I'm rolling with it.
- [Reggie laughs] Sam's not home? - Working on a project with Lionel.
[Joelle] What's wrong, weirdo? Nothing.
Uh You never told me your rose and thorn thing.
Well, uh, my thorn was definitely singing a "Call Tyrone" to you and that girl from Smith.
[Reggie] Really? Why? You know why, Reg.
I'm sorry.
I didn't earn that.
You know that's why I never [scoffs] - tried anything.
- Sam is why.
I'm the next choice.
I didn't want to get in between friends over something that was so complicated.
Especially when the girl of my fucking dreams was just gonna reject me anyway.
And that girl's you.
I couldn't even admit that to myself until Hotep Harry.
Fuck it.
Are you still down? Tell me right now Are you still down? I can't believe I was about to fuck this up.
Nigga, me neither.
Are you still down When I ain't there And you get the urge Who you hittin' up first? - [Reggie] We doing this on the bed? - [Joelle] Um, yeah, okay.
When you don't pick up But I don't call enough It's only for now This won't be forever But I think that we will If you tell me right now Are you still down? Yeah, are you still down? Tell me right now - [lock clicks] - [Reggie] Shit! - [Reggie] The lube! The bra! - [Joelle] Calm do oh.
So if you dissolve elemental mercury in nitric acid 70 Oh, hey, Sam.
I didn't even see you come in.
Neither of you is clothed.
- This how I been dressed.
- [Sam] Hmm.
Y'all know you don't owe me shit, right? Except a sock on the door.
[clears throat] What happened to that? [scoffs] Hey.
[bell tolls in distance] Almost time.
[groans] [phone chimes] [bed creaking] [moaning] [Sam] Shit.
[moaning] [Sam moans] [Gabe] What are you thinking about? [Sam] Rikki.
[Gabe] I really hope that's what you've nicknamed my penis.
[Sam laughing] I just can't wait to capture the moment when her edges dissolve to nothing as I read her for filth.
You're gonna read to her? Gabe, don't be white right now.
So this is for your doc final? Yeah, it's the last piece.
I thought I'd stop after the blackface party, but then racism.
[Gabe] Hm.
I never get this nervous.
Um, it's weird.
And then there's, um You know what, it's probably nothing.
You can't predict the outcome.
Usually you can go in there, show up, capture what you're meant to.
This chick? No one can agree on her.
She's a gray area.
I hate those.
The world isn't black and white.
Like, what color is this? This is something I can't explain.
[Gabe] Hm.
This is something that might not work.
Is this something you want to stop? No.
[phone chimes] [Gabe whines] [Sam] One second.
[Gabe clears throat] All right, I gotta go.
I'll see you later? - Yeah.
- [laughs] [crowd yelling] How are we supposed to get to the library with all this? [Alexis] It's so inconvenient.
Hey, Kelsey.
[Silvio] Guys.
The Alt Ivy metrics are not what they used to be.
We need to amp this up.
[man] On both sides.
[Silvio] Seriously.
[distant chatter] Excuse me.
You can't be back here.
[Rikki] Denise, it's a fan.
I'm no fan.
[Rikki] Give us the room.
[Denise] That lace-front's not gonna set itself.
Denise, what the fuck? My name is Samantha White, I'm a film student, and I just want to ask you a few That light okay? What? With that thing and the lights, might look a little rough, no? This is my aesthetic.
Is it weird that I'm kind of fangirling right now? It's weird, right? Sorry.
Once I got through that uninspired Dear Right People drivel on the plane over, I completely rabbit-holed into your show.
God, you've got talent.
Thank you.
And I love the character.
She's sister-girl, but can articulate the fuck out of a multisyllabic synonym for oppression.
It's genius.
She is not a character.
I'm No, not yet, but give her time, hon.
Keep building up a following online.
Maybe get a few bookings in the local news circuit.
In no time, you'll be on cable.
What are you talking about? It's so easy nowadays.
Just wait for a shooting.
Any kind'll do.
Unarmed black teen, a school, a church, or wherever the next misogynistic white lunatic decides to unload his gun.
Just hop on that talking head train, because when the world gets hold of her, game over.
You sure there's gonna be enough light? The big fish is the book deal, of course.
That's where you concretize her, put her on record to be quoted and echoed into a future where you'll scarcely remember the girl who wrote the damn thing.
Hey, maybe we could start a feud and release our books the same month.
Carson and I did.
With all due respect, the fuck is wrong with you? That wasn't respectful at all.
Why is there a Nielsen meter where your heart should be? Wait.
I already know.
I know exactly who you are.
[Rikki] Of course you do.
Only difference between you and me is time.
Will you shut up and let me deliver this read I've prepared? I do have an event coming up.
[sighs] I have rehearsed this in my head since the day I discovered you.
Know what's historically America's most popular form of entertainment besides porn? Minstrelsy.
Ding, ding, ding.
Tops in gross numbers and cultural influence, and they have never stopped putting us on the stage to dance for them.
Doesn't matter what part you play, so long as the distraction helps those with the real power keep their fiefdoms nice and hidden.
I'm not on a stage.
You are literally on a stage.
But I mean that metaphorically, too.
How do you sleep at night? Indica dominant hybrid.
And keeping in mind that I'm stacking these checks so I can build a goddamn kingdom of my own.
Because in this country, all that matters is who holds the gold and owns the land and its many resources.
I'm not like you! I have way too much honor.
You "popped" at a white college while espousing a philosophy that would've been only mildly interesting if this were an HBCU.
I got my start arguing absurd right-wing views so I could win debate championships.
So what if you're good this week and I'm bad the next? What matters most is who is powerless and who is powerful.
We both picked what worked for us because girls like us need to get from the former to the latter as soon as possible, by any means necessary.
[Gordon] Are you serious? Ms.
Carter, I am so sorry for whatever is happening here.
I'll escort her out.
I think we're done.
I wish you would.
[Gordon] We're thrilled to have you.
It's so important for us to have a person of color - who can really just - Okay.
Got it.
On behalf of Winchester's Young Republicans, Dear Right People and myself, I'd like to thank you for braving the hordes outside to [Silvio] Um So, um, please welcome our guest Rikki Carter.
What kind of intro was that? Did he not get my bio? I don't know.
Hello, Winchester! Ah.
[laughs] Wow.
This is good.
Um You all do know that Carson canceled, right? I mean [laughs] You weren't Okay, you're here to see me.
I think you will like the start of my speech.
[chuckles] So racism is not a myth, but, uh, when racism was a real problem, liberals were the culprits.
Did you know that? - It's only now - [phone vibrates] That the real issue facing African-Americans are basically over.
Um, that so-called social justice warriors use words like "institutionalized racism" to get votes.
[feedback hums] Coco, what is this? You know this is for ticketed guests only.
We have security.
Good thing we all have tickets.
How? We sold out immediately.
Yes, to the Black Caucus and every affinity group on campus.
Someone must have given them the faculty skip codes.
Also, people thought I was you.
So fuck you for tarnishing my brand well, further.
Is it weird this is turning me on? Nope.
I'm recording it for a repeat sesh later.
[Rikki] I don't get the sense that you've read my book.
[giggling] [knock on door] Sam, you okay? I'm coming from a Dickensian mind-fuck.
Please tell me you have something.
Right this way.
Damn, Lionel.
Did you also find the Zodiac killer? Possibly.
Okay, the Knights of Elam.
They were one of the first secret societies at Winchester.
They believed world stabilization could only be achieved when inferior races submitted to the superior one.
Bored rich white people, every goddamn time.
Yeah, one of their founding members was a pioneer in phrenology.
Henry Adams.
His lab was here.
In the 1800s, Dr.
Adams' belief in a superior white race took hold.
The invention of whiteness helped justify keeping freed slaves from joining the American citizenry.
Though a few slipped through.
Guns helped to keep the slaves in line.
They didn't want them to see black students and get any ideas.
Yeah, whiteness plus guns.
[Lionel] In the 1920s, the Knights went underground as Irish and Italian students combined former slave quarters, Armstrong and Parker, and made them home.
[Sam] What? And this is Donald Hancock, a Knight of Elam.
[Sam] And founder of your old newspaper.
I also have evidence that they met here in the 1960s, but then they tore that down and turned it into Griffin Fountain.
[Sam] When the truth is suppressed, it doesn't die.
It just goes underground.
What's that? It's something my dad used to say.
Lionel, this is it.
This is how we find reason behind all the chaos.
Which one of these is the meeting place? I don't know.
I was just stating facts that I discovered.
Wait a minute.
That's how this works, right? Well, actually, that's about the midpoint of the underground railroad tunnels leading from A-P.
And above it is The bell tower.
Yes! Slaves being clever and shit.
[students chattering] [Al] Run, fam! Run! [clamoring] Go with the truth.
Meet us at A-P! We got the footage! - Keep moving.
- Al is to be ignored.
[Lionel laughing] Why is my heart beating so fast? Because we're about to find out if a long-forgotten secret society of elite black people exists and whether we can join them to save the campus and the world.
I think it's because we ran.
Come on, Lionel! Get excited.
We both need a win.
This is some black Harry Potter shit! Oh, a pop-culture reference I get.
[chuckles] Sam.
What are we walking into? Huh? What if it's just a cult? Like hot yoga or New Hampshire? Or what if there's nothing there? We got this.
[Lionel sighs] What? No! God damn it! What the fuck? [sighs] [Sam] Fuck.
I needed this to at least be one win.
[bell tolls] You know I'm done with Dear White People.
I can't become another Rikki.
Lionel? Why does everything I do end up like this? What's the point? Nothing and no one is what they appear to be.
At least before when I didn't put myself out there, I didn't expect anything good.
Now I try and shit just gets fucking weird.
Sorbet? Every time I try to solve something, here comes Sorbet! [Sorbet groans] I dig and find out Silvio's basically a vampire.
I find someone I actually like, and he wants to fuck everyone.
[Sam] Whoa.
Lil' Wes? It's all bullshit! - [Sorbet barks] - Sorry.
It's gonna be okay, Lionel.
[scoffs] No one's here.
And no one's coming.
Well we're here.
[man] Lionel.
And look, Sorbet.
I see you've been watching closely.
[hip-hop music playing] [men rapping indistinctly] Decibel Decibel [indistinct chatter] - [woman] Yo, and turn it up loud.
- [man] Hit that up.
- [man] Yes.
- [woman] Here we go.
- [man] Is that foil? - [woman] Come on, now.
That's Clifton.
- Yo.
- Oh.
In the name of all that's holy! [electricity crackles] [all gasp] [siren wailing] [man] Oh, so that's what happened.
[Al laughs] Someone Final Cut Pro'd this shit.
It's clearly doctored.
Maybe they hired Clifton to pretend to set the fire by accident.
- Yeah.
- I don't know.
See, this shit is fake news.
[laughing] Fucking fake news.
[clamoring] But fuck a breadcrumb, bitch Suit bespoke and I ain't said shit We living life out loud She'd pipe up When they tell her pipe down Decibels Decibels Smoke loud, move loud, too proud They tell her pipe it down But she made decibels Decibels [men rapping indistinctly]