Dirty Jobs (2005) s01e11 Episode Script
Ostrich Farmer
1 My name is Mike rowe, and this is my job.
I explore the country looking for people who aren't afraid to get dirty You're gonna get a little taste of what it's like to be a septic tank technician.
hardworking men and women who earn an honest living doing the kinds of jobs that make civilized life possible for the rest of us.
Now, get ready to get dirty.
Coming up on "dirty jobs" I go to the big island of Hawaii and get the dirty scoop on what it takes to make great-tasting coffee.
You smell the poo, don't you? Sure, you do.
Then I join the struggle to save the seals Note the elongated proboscis.
and get a taste of my own medicine.
It's not good.
And later, I take on a descendant of t.
Rex.
There's no second chances here.
And feathers fly at a roundup at the o.
K.
Corral.
They are not right in the head.
Captions by vitac captions paid for by discovery communications it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it [ coughs .]
It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it well, it's a beautiful day here on the big island Sort of.
I've come here for a cup of mountain thunder 100% pure kona coffee.
Instead, I've met the batemans Brooke and Lisa, and that's Brent, and that's Bryce, and this is Trent.
What does This have to do with coffee? Mountain thunder's an organic coffee farm, and we build our own fertilizer.
We've got a seaweed ingredient, ground-up coffee tree, and cherry skins.
Cherry skins? Well, we call coffee "cherry" in the fruit stage, and these are the skins after the bean has been removed.
Now, I don't want to contradict you in any way, but where did this come from? This came from our donkeys.
I knew it donkey poo.
I'd recognize it anywhere, and there were the culprits.
Bottom line here is, is it possible for a guy like me to actually get a cup of coffee here? When you get done with work.
Okay.
Decomposing kelp, coffee-bean skins, mulch, and donkey poo It doesn't sound like the ingredients for a cup of coffee.
A little like baked beans.
The batemans only fertilize once a year, and I was lucky enough to be here at just the right time.
Ah.
Everywhere I go I lose a boot.
There's nothing like a little poo in your boot to get the day off to a good start.
Mountain thunder is only one of a dozen organic coffees produced on the island.
They say this compost gives the coffee a richer taste.
That's nice the way the steam comes off of it.
Yeah, it's like the moors.
Well, Mike, we've got a lot of work to do today.
I think we ought to move on to the next process.
And that would be? Applying it to the trees.
Spreading the poo.
With your hands.
Of course.
I mean, what else would we use? You got one, I get the other? You just leave the family here to fend for themselves? Yeah.
Tough day to be a Bateman, huh? Yep.
Riding on a veritable poop machine Not the most elegant way to travel, but I kept my mouth shut.
No point in making an ass of myself.
How big is your operation? This operation here is 30 acres of organic coffee.
We grow elsewhere another 50 acres of organic and over 120 acres of conventional kona coffee.
We have over 100,000 trees in all.
[ Sheep bleating .]
Man, you got donkeys, you got goats, you got geese.
You have like a petting zoo here.
What's up with all the animals? Well, we need them for fertilizer.
They weed the farm for us.
It makes less work.
We've already got enough work to do without them.
Oh, Mike, not on the tree stalk itself.
You'll burn it.
You got to pull it back a little bit.
What do you mean, I'll burn it? It'll get hot.
The mulch might create heat.
The roots come on out about two feet.
So we want to feed the roots, not the tree.
There were 10,000 trees that needed to be fertilized.
I only did 9,000, with a little help from my friends.
You smell the poo, don't you? Sure, you do.
10,000 coffee trees.
I won't pay $4 for a cup of Starbucks, but I'll do this.
So, Trent, if I understand this right, there are basically two activities that keep you busy when you're outdoors Spreading the poop and actually picking the beans.
And that's where we are right now, and that is Who's that over there? That's lolo, our number-one picker.
What does it take to become a number-one picker? You got to be able to pick 4 bags a day 400 pounds a day.
400 pounds of coffee a day.
Or more.
[ Laughs .]
Uh-oh, got a little bit of yellow on that one.
That's all right.
Just watch out for the green.
It takes 3,000 beans to make a pound of coffee.
I was picking at a pretty good pace.
It seemed like a no-sweat job.
Lolo started the same time we did.
Pay by the bean or by the hour? By the bean.
Oh, man.
That's a lot of beans.
Actually, here it looks like I made a nickel.
Are we going up here? Yep.
In the journey of the bean, this would be the next step.
The wet-milling, or pulping, process.
Wet mill.
Aptly named I can hear water running.
And with the beans we've got, the ones in here, perhaps maybe a cup of coffee is gonna be forthcoming? That might be in order.
Seems like a lot of beans for one cup.
So, on a busy day, we'll do about 400 of these.
400 of these bags, and these are 100-pound bags.
Seven pounds of cherry to make one pound of roasted coffee.
So 7-to-1 ratio.
So 400 pounds, 7 into 40 You're making something like 5 million pounds 500,000 Who cares? It's a lot of coffee.
Let the process begin.
First the beans are soaked and then sorted.
How many steps are involved in making a cup of coffee? I mean, what, 5,000? 6,000? I think there's at least 8 or 9.
Next, the skins are removed by another machine.
This is gonna be my coffee.
Where do they go from here? They go into the fermentation tank.
Yesterday's coffee Good to the last Sludge.
Then the wet beans have to be dried.
Hey, Brent.
Yeah? Do me a favor.
What's that? Tell me when I'm done.
You're done.
The beans on the red surface are soaking wet.
How long till they dry? Three days.
I don't have three days to wait for a cup of coffee.
So next door, we found some dry beans.
We put them into a bag Sewed the bag shut And then took them into another room to open the bag.
I don't really know what any of these buttons do, but I'm hopeful that pressing one of them will bring me a little closer to a cup of coffee.
Welcome back to my quest for a simple cup of coffee, otherwise known as "the bagging of beans, the sewing of bags, and the lifting of bags.
" This is a bag ready for roasting.
Yeah.
Get some coffee.
Okay.
My very own bag of coffee and my very own hernia.
I could almost taste that first cup.
Hi, Brooke.
Hi.
Last time I saw you, you were standing in a great big giant pile of poo.
Yeah, this is much funner.
More funner.
Ready to open it? Well, I just sewed it shut.
Well, now you got to open it.
This place is mildly insane.
Guess what.
Out of the bag Again.
Coffee is being made right now.
It'll take about 15 minutes.
I'll be drinking coffee in 15 minutes.
Well, we're at 181 now, so we still have some time to kill.
What we're gonna do is watch it go up slowly.
Slowly Not a word I wanted to hear.
Now, at 275 Uh-huh.
You switch the air.
So, is it ready yet? No.
Now, by the time 375 comes around, it will be all the way down here, through roasting drum.
How about now? No? And then at 414, the alarm will go off.
So at 414, you do not leave the roaster because there's a lot of times someone will come and talk to you and distract you big-time.
Like me.
And you're gonna burn it.
You want to see a really cool flame? Look at that.
It's in there.
365 Burn the [bleep.]
out of you.
It's changing.
Brooke: Vienna is 440 to 445, and it gets a little confusing with the 275, 375 air controls.
You got to kind of learn your numbers.
Brooke, I've been confused since the moment I walked onto this plantation.
I'm guessing we're gonna drop it at 442.
All right, there's 440 right there.
Yeah, I say 442.
Okay, drop it now.
Dropping now.
You can lift it up a little more.
Just don't smoosh your fingers.
All right.
Oh, smells good.
I wish you could smell this.
I wish I could drink it.
Right, again, into another bag.
Come on! Come on.
It's done.
Turn it off.
Right, right.
Okay.
Now what do you do normally? I would normally seal it and send it to a store, but you want to drink it.
Right.
I don't want to seal any more bags.
Where do we drink it? Outside with my mom.
She's gonna teach you how to make a good cup of coffee.
Your mother's out there waiting? Are you gonna miss me? Yes.
Lisa.
Hey.
What are the odds of getting a cup of coffee? Well, it'll be about 15 minutes.
[ Laughs .]
Really? Seriously? Yes.
Seriously.
Just go ahead, get started.
I'm gonna, uh, go I'm gonna go for a walk.
Okay.
I'll be down here.
Give me a shout when it's ready.
I started working for a cup of coffee 12 hours ago.
I don't know how these guys do it.
Really? Yes.
I'm about to enjoy a cup of the world's finest coffee in the middle of a jungle an hour before bedtime.
It's been a weird day.
What do you guys think? No, never mind.
You're poop machines.
[ Donkey brays, goat bleats .]
This is a life-sized replica of a two-and-a-half-ton adult male elephant seal.
Note the elongated proboscis indicative to the species.
As you can see, he's assumed the fighting posture.
Anyway, you might not think a creature of this size would need protecting.
Think again.
If you're a sick or orphaned marine mammal, you'd be in good hands right here at the marine mammal center in sausalito, California.
With a staff of over 800 volunteers and 40 full-time employees, they work overtime to pamper these pups with a lot of tender loving care.
Well, this is the kitchen at the marine mammal center.
Not exactly five-star, but if you're a sick sea lion or an ailing otter, this is about as good as it gets.
This would be the industrial refrigerator, and if I'm not mistaken, it looks like herring is on the menu.
The head chef/scientist is joelle.
Hi.
Are you a scientist, actually? I'm becoming one.
What are you right now officially? A master's student.
A master's student.
All right.
And you're masquerading as a chef, as well, I suppose.
This is where most of the food prep takes place? Yep.
What's the process? What am I looking at here? You're looking at the elephant seal menu.
You're looking at the orders that the veterinarians give to us to tell us how much we need to feed the animal and any supplements or medications that the animals get.
Every sick animal has a chart.
Every chart tells you what amount and type of medication should be inserted into their food, which is herring.
And, again, the job here is to jam the medicine into the herring so the sick otter/lion/elephant seal pup can have some breakfast.
Exactly.
Or is it lunch? What's in here? Elephant seal vitamin.
[ Mumbling .]
I've created what I believe to be an acceptable cavity.
Okay, excellent.
So now you want to grab that vitamin, nestle it down into the fish.
Got it.
Like that.
All right.
A loaded herring.
Let's eat.
After you.
[ Squeals .]
We need to feed them underwater.
This has suddenly become kind of complicated.
It's breakfast time.
All right.
All the way.
Thanks, Jess.
I thought feeding looked pretty simple, but Nellie was about to prove me wrong.
Got the head.
Thank you.
There you go.
Oh, geez.
Oh, crap.
Nellie You missed again.
Has this guy ever eaten a fish before? Maybe it's not him.
Maybe it's me, you're thinking? So we just have to kind of hold it for him so he gets used to the idea.
You just don't have the swallowing thing down.
Why can't she swallow the fish? She just hasn't gotten used to the process of it yet.
She's hungry, though.
Naturally, what goes in Must come out.
Pup poop.
Please tell me that wasn't you.
Yeah, I'm sorry about the pants.
Cleaning up baby elephant seal poo It's a dirty job.
I might have taken a shot of poo in the eye.
Butricia is standing by right now.
Word is she's hungry.
What I'll do is I'll scoop her up, and then I'm gonna have you go down on top of her and then just hold her steady, and then I'll walk you through it.
Okay? She makes it sound fun And a little dirty.
I'm gonna put your hand here and your hand here.
Now I'm gonna turn you over to cherie, and I'll be right here with you.
Hi, cherie.
Hello.
It's time for her breakfast here.
Mmm.
Good eatin'.
She's a restraint feed.
That means that she's not willingly eating on her own yet.
Right.
Sometimes we can get them to open their mouth by themselves.
Sometimes we have to pop the jaw.
Pop the jaw, did she say? Why don't you try tickling her tail a minute? Uh, Marie, that's my tail.
She likes to do that.
Good grief.
You guys ever get bit? Yeah.
Occasionally.
Do you want to try to pop her mouth? You're not afraid of those teeth, huh? I'm not afraid.
Are you kidding me? I know.
Fearless.
I'm Mike rowe.
I fear no seal.
Well, she opened for me 'cause she heard that.
Thank god 'cause I'm scared to death.
Said, "I don't want his dirty fingers in my mouth.
" You have no idea where these fingers have been, butricia.
I'm wearing kneepads, squatting on a seal with my finger down its throat.
[ Laughter .]
There's something you don't see every day.
Somehow, someway, somebody's gonna eat something.
Stacy's volunteered her time here twice a week for five years, and that means she's pretty much an expert on how things work here at the center.
Here in the kitchen at the marine mammal center, there's a lot of state-of-the-art appliances.
There's also, of course, some new designs in food, and they use the two of those things to make a You call it a protein shake? Yeah, it's fish mash, elephant seal formula, and we call it a milkshake for short.
Nothing good can possibly happen right here, unless, of course, you're an elephant seal or a baby seal.
But we're essentially gonna turn some fish into Fish mash.
Yeah.
You do virtually everything here.
Where does this rank on your list of favorites? Makes me want to vomit.
Excellent.
So, from the grinder This guy? That would be the blender.
Beautiful.
And now we have fish mash.
This unsavory delight is used as a base for individual portions that are prepared for pups with specific dietary needs.
Amber is another volunteer.
All right.
Look out, Julia child.
[ Laughs .]
It's not good.
I can just well imagine.
No, it's not good.
Is there a rest room nearby? Yeah? Tube-feeding is the last resort to get these pups the nourishment they need to keep them alive.
This is Barbie.
Amber: This is Barbie.
Poor Barbie.
She's kind of pooed a little bit.
And you can tell that she's not feeling very well.
She's got goofy eyes, she's got a runny nose, and she's very skinny.
All the way? All the way.
And set that in, just like this.
Like so.
So, what we are doing is inserting the tube into their mouth and gently passing it down their throat.
There we go.
Ah.
Now, how do you know you're in the esophagus and not the trachea? Well, we'll be listening for it, and I'll have you do that, actually.
So, come this way.
Yeah.
And listen in the tube.
Put your ear.
Uh-huh.
What do you hear? Do you hear any gurgling? No.
[ Seal exhaling .]
I heard that.
I hear breathing.
Oh, no, no.
There's gurgling.
Yeah, I hear gurgling for sure.
So that means we're in the stomach.
Got it? Yep.
Push it just down a little bit now.
About like so? Mm-hmm.
You can go a little faster.
Now, does this feel to her like she's eating? Well, her stomach is expanding and getting full.
So there is that sense of satiation.
Just no sense of swallowing.
All right.
I think that's it.
Let me just crimp it, and you can pull it out.
Okay.
So now we're going to remove the tube as slowly as possible.
All right.
Excellent.
So we just fed Barbie.
We just fed Barbie.
The next day, there were eight pups that were given a clean bill of health.
Now they're eligible for release.
Even the best patients in the best hospitals look forward to checking out.
Today, these guys are going home.
Now that they've been taught to track and catch live fish, you can bet they'll never go hungry Probably.
All right.
The seals are in.
These pups are going on a 35-mile ride up the coast to point reyes national seashore.
Point reyes is a federally protected reserve that's now a thriving breeding ground for the once nearly extinct elephant seal.
The rehabilitated seals should be very much at home here.
Of course, they won't be alone.
It's a miserable day in point reyes, California Cold, windy, and rainy Ideal if you're a seal.
Woman: There they go.
Whoo! That's right.
There you go.
I got one left.
There's always one.
There you go.
Come on.
Go! No, no.
The ocean.
You want the ocean.
Come on, guys.
You're going home.
It's nice, it's windy, it's rainy.
I'll miss you.
There you go.
Maybe I'll see you again Maybe on shark week.
Years ago, there was a showdown at the o.
K.
Corral.
Wyatt earp and doc holliday squared off against the clampetts, I believe.
Well, today, we've come to another o.
K.
Corral for another kind of showdown.
Today, it's man versus beast.
[Bleep.]
And the odds are not good.
In the California high desert, this farm raises the strangest flocks Ostriches.
These flightless giants pack up to 450 pounds on a 9-foot frame.
And they don't always play nice.
But adventurous farmers who can learn to move among these African beasts can earn a healthy living.
And that's exactly what Doug Johnson and Pete Smith are doing here at the o.
K.
Corral ostrich farm.
Rowe: That's Steve with the wheelbarrow, and this is Doug with me here at the tailgate, and this is, I guess, how the mornings start at the o.
K.
Ostrich farm? Yeah, we start out with the feed, and then we get into the more interesting, dirty jobs.
Steve, are these dangerous animals? They can be very dangerous, very dangerous.
How dangerous, Doug? We were over here with the bird, and then she got away from us, and she came over and hit this door and just took it right off.
Good lord.
And their knees are all jacked up and backwards, like an alien.
They have a kicking force of 2,000 pounds per square inch.
That's a weird-looking animal.
I got to be honest.
It is.
It dates back 100 million years.
Dinosaurs, basically.
They date back to the t.
Rex.
Basically made perfect and never changed.
Each morning begins with the feeding of the omnivorous ostriches.
And with over 800 mouths to feed, our work is cut out for us.
Back, back.
Don't run out.
Stay there.
Johnson: Mike, can you clear them out of the front of the truck over here? Hey! Off we go, ostriches.
Okay, we're moving ahead.
Here we go.
Good? Yeah, that's real good.
I'll get the gate.
Great.
I'm locking myself in with dinosaurs.
Ho.
Ho! Ho! Okay, we're gonna go feed them.
Just watch the big black ones.
Keep your eyes out.
The big black ones are the males.
They'll kick you.
And the females like to bite.
Don't you? All right.
Johnson: Okay.
Now let's go on over here.
Okay.
Just push her? Push it out.
There it goes.
Come on, guys.
Wait for it.
Where are your manners? Now, you got to Don't worry about it.
Everything's fine.
Don't worry about it? What I do is worry.
[ Laughs .]
Grab ahold of that wheelbarrow.
And let's go over this way.
Okay.
Okay, find those feeders out there.
You got to find the feeders.
Don't hit them in the legs with the wheelbarrow.
No, no, no, no! This bucket's got to be sideways so it all gets in there.
Don't spill any of that feed, now.
Don't spill the feed! Is it feed or is it gold, for god's sakes? $10,000 a month, it's gold.
[ Coughs .]
It's a little dirty in here, I know.
Let's go get some more feed.
Oh, don't spill it! Oh, geez, I'm sorry.
Suck a little dust and away we go.
Yah, come on! Grab ahold of that thing.
I got it, I got it.
All right.
Like a dump truck.
Hold on to that wheelbarrow.
Got her.
There we go.
Don't drop the wheelbarrow! Don't drop the wheelbarrow.
The rest to this guy here? There you go.
Let's go get some more.
Yeah, we're on our way now.
What is that sound we hear? What kind of sound does an ostrich make? They make several sounds.
I hear this weird humming.
They do the whoo, whoo, whoo-o-o.
How's it go again? It goes whoo, whoo, whoo-o-o.
And you notice they all pay attention when I do that.
If you look at all their heads.
Yeah, this is a warning to the group.
It's a group warning, and it's a warning to predators that might be attacking the group in Africa.
And it's letting the predator know that there's something formidable out there in the dark.
Better not come in.
And they go whoo, whoo, whoo-o-o.
And in the dark, if you hear that If they do it, it's so bass, you can hear it for miles.
Whoo, whoo, whoo-o-o.
Yeah, that's it.
Whoo, whoo, whoo-o-o.
Whoo, whoo, whoo-o-o.
And their throat does that whole thing.
Yeah, they inflate their neck, and they get that very deep resonation, and lions know that this is not something they want to come in and eat.
How would a lion do against an ostrich? They find lions in the kalahari desert, dead, that have been kicked in the head and broken their jaws, and they can't eat, and they die of starvation From an ostrich kick.
Once we've put out enough food to feed the whole flock, it's time to refill the ostriches' drinking water, which sounds like a refreshing change of pace after carting dusty wheelbarrows full of feed all morning.
Shows you how much I know.
Johnson: We've arrived.
Okay.
Mike, this is one of the waters here, and the birds regurgitate this vile, black-tar, evil-smelling stuff.
It sinks to the bottom, and every week, we have to clean these waters to make sure that they get good, clean water.
So we're gonna dump half of this out, get this slurry going.
Why does the ostrich vomit in his drinking water? I have no idea why they do that.
I think to probably clean their palate.
[ Grunts .]
There you go.
Hold on to the top so it doesn't get away from you.
That's it.
Let it out.
That's it.
Let it out.
Aw.
Oh, my god.
What the hell? Don't you love that? Yeah, okay.
Now dump it straight up.
That's it, dump it out there.
Oh, it's nasty! [ Coughing .]
Doesn't that pique your appetite? That's just awful.
And there we go.
I can't quite identify the odor.
It's unique.
It's not crap Which I'm familiar with.
Yeah.
This is something else.
That's it.
You got to kind of get down in your work there.
Yeah, get all that nasty algae off there.
That looks really good, Mike.
Yeah, thanks.
I'm desperate for approval.
I think we can get you out here full time if you keep it up.
I get offers like that all the time.
Whoa, easy now.
Don't fall in this stuff, for god sakes.
Here we go.
Oh, dear.
This is the black, tar-like bile, putrid, regurgitive vomit.
Only produced by the ostrich, this particular bouquet.
Eau de la regrette.
[ Grunts .]
There we go.
Oh, god.
That's bad.
Isn't that awful? God forbid it splashes in your face.
Okay.
There we go.
All the way over.
Okay, we're good.
We're good.
Once we finish scrubbing the ostrich vomit out of their water buckets, it's time for a little egg hunt.
Doug collects every egg his ostriches lay.
The fertile ones are carefully placed in an Incubator, while the infertile eggs are somewhat less carefully eaten for breakfast by customers with a taste for the exotic.
Okay, we're gonna pick up some eggs here at the gate, Mike.
We'll have you get the eggs, and I'll hold the gate.
This is the egg box.
It's got foam holes for the eggs, and make it a two-hand drop because if the eggs hit each other, they'll crack.
The male gets down early on in the season, and he digs this nest out.
This is a nest we're looking? Yeah, you can see the indentation in here where he's dug it out with his sharp toenails, and then the females lay in the nest.
Oh, shoot.
Oh, no, look.
He just walked on an egg.
Yeah, we just opened one.
What the heck happened there? Well, she accidentally kicked it, and, now, they really like their own eggs.
Now it's an omelet we got.
We need to get in there and get those eggs out of there.
Let's go get the rest of them before they break those.
Back up, you morons.
You smashed your own egg.
Okay, move it out! Move it out! They must have very tiny brains, no? About the size of a walnut.
So their brains are smaller than their eyes.
Ouch.
Get in there.
They just crushed their own young, and here I am stealing their eggs.
Dangerous? Hell, yeah.
Okay, Mike, get after those eggs.
Get in there and get them.
How does one Just dive in there.
Push them aside.
Honestly? Honestly.
Better get in there.
[Bleep.]
Get in there and get them eggs.
Throw the box down.
I'm throwing the box down.
Don't kick me.
Don't kick me, come on.
Don't kick me.
They just smashed their own young with their tiny You did good, you did good.
All right, we're gonna get some more eggs here.
Okay.
This gal is sitting on them.
Sometimes you get three or four sitters at the same time.
She's sitting on there or is she, uh She's all right, isn't she? Oh, she's fine.
She's fine.
Johnson: Now, go over there and ask her nice to get up off those eggs.
Hey, cupcake.
I need your eggs.
[ Ostrich squawks .]
She's hissing at me.
That's right, talk nice.
Hey, sweetie.
Me and Doug were thinking we could maybe, uh, you know, run off with your ovums.
See if you can go over there and nudge her and see if she'll get up for you.
Hey.
You're on the eggs we need.
Come on, get off those eggs.
You don't want those eggs.
That's it.
There you go.
That's it.
Don't crush your eggs.
One of these.
One of these.
All right.
That wasn't so bad at all He says right before he gets attacked.
We can put those back in the truck.
Okay.
Let's have a word briefly, if we can, about this egg Which is kind of huge.
Yeah, that's anywhere from three to five pounds.
Yeah, that feels like a four-pounder.
It tastes just like a chicken egg, except it's moister and puffier when you cook with it.
The French chefs just swear by it, and it makes a marvelous omelet.
Getting ahold of ostrich eggs is one thing.
Grabbing the ostriches themselves is a whole different story, as I'm about to find out.
When it's time for a road trip, the ostriches have to travel in a horse trailer.
Studies have shown there's only one good way to get an ostrich to climb aboard a horse trailer.
So, we're gonna wrangle some ostriches.
How many can you get in here? We generally take It depends on the distance we're gonna travel Anywhere from 8 to 12.
We're gonna put them right up this ramp here.
Well, how hard can that be? Now, what I want you to do is practice on my hand.
Pretend this is the ostrich.
Now, you're gonna go up.
You're gonna grab my wrist and pull it down, okay, with your left hand.
Now take this hand and grab the beak of the ostrich, like that.
Okay, and now take that hand and whip this over the top and then, utilizing this same hand, hold that.
Now pull your other hand back.
Now let go of that.
Now you got your ostrich hooded.
You want the ostrich to look just like that, ideally.
Now, if the ostrich looks like this, he can see.
That's no good.
We want him blind.
We want a blind ostrich.
Yeah.
And once the ostrich is hooded, he's much easier to handle.
Why am I pulling the neck down? Well, you got to get the ostrich's head down to your belt so they can't kick you.
Why can't he kick me with his head down? Because if you put your head down, can you kick me? No, I guess I can't.
Same thing with the ostriches.
Grab, pull, beak.
So You do the grabbing and the hooding.
Okay.
And I'll do the pushing.
And I'll operate the door.
And Steve will operate the door.
I don't see what could possibly go wrong.
There's that guy over there.
The big boy.
Here he comes.
Okay, Mike.
Now, the boys are the ones that kick you, right? Walk up and grab Come on, Mike.
I don't think the whole sudden-movement thing really? Walk up and, yeah, you got to kind of pin him against the fence there.
You can do it.
Look here, look here.
Watch this.
Grab him.
He's gonna [bleep.]
kick me.
He almost got you, Mike.
He almost got you.
I mean, come on.
It's the 21st century.
There's got to be a way to Steve, you guard the gate.
You guard the gate.
Whoa! Holy crap! That is one nutty ostrich! Guard the gate, that's it.
Steve, you're insane.
Come on, Mike.
Grab his neck.
He's gonna kick me.
Just grab his neck and get his head down.
Oh, Mike.
Mike! Now look here.
Watch, watch.
How much time did you spend telling me about 2,000 pounds of kicking force? Mike, get up here.
Grab his neck.
Here, here, here.
I got his neck.
I got his neck.
He's kicking.
Get his neck down.
Grab him! Grab him! Steve, let go.
Get out of the way, Steve.
Oh, I forgot about the beak.
God, he's a powerful son of a gun! All right now.
[Bleep.]
Hold on now.
Hold on now.
Hold up now.
They're not right.
They are not right in the head.
Mike.
Mike, get over here.
Yes, I'm here.
Yes, yes.
Now take that head right where I got it.
No, no, no, no! No? Right where my hand is.
Give me that left hand.
Grab that bird.
Grab right there.
Grab him right here.
But, look In all the excitement Just be cool, dude.
Oh, Jesus [bleep.]
Now, do it like this.
You see? Get this head here.
Like that, see? It's all over just like that.
Are you [bleep.]
me? Get a wing.
A wing and a tail.
A wing and a prayer is what I got.
Now, let's push.
Come on, here we go.
Here we go.
Holy crap.
That's it, push.
Hey, Doug, this is about the weirdest thing I've done all day, to be honest with you.
Okay, now, watch out.
All right now.
Here we go.
Push.
Get in there.
Get in there.
Hold your man in there.
Hold him in there.
Hold him in there.
I got the door.
Here comes the door.
Okay, take his hood off.
Take his hood off.
There you go.
I'm gonna need to come out, yeah.
Come on out.
There you go.
There we go.
Good job, Mike.
Look at Steve's technique.
This is Oh, this is very nice.
There's no second chances here.
You cannot fail.
Gotcha.
Okay, here's a nice-sized one.
Hey, there.
Get up and squeeze her between you and the fence.
Right, right, right.
Move fast.
Get up there.
That's it.
All right, now.
Whoa! Whoa! We got a wild one! Whoa! Whoa, good one.
Yeah, good job, good job.
Oh, yeah.
Steve, for the home team, baby, right? That's what we're talking about.
Good man, good man.
That was it.
Now we just march her over here to the trailer.
Crap, I got a surprise in my pants.
[ Laughter .]
Now come here and get the bird.
Get the bird.
Right, I forgot the bird.
Where am I getting, here? The wing.
It's like a tiller on a boat.
We're just guiding.
Whoa.
Please don't kill me.
Okay, go ahead, open it up.
Here we come.
[Bleep.]
[ Grunting .]
Don't pull any feathers, now.
No feather pulling.
Okay.
Push like hell.
One, two, three.
Oh, crap! Whoa, here she goes.
Whoa.
Come here.
Come on, get behind her.
Get behind her, come on.
Okay, we got to do it again now.
What a move that was.
Oh, good move on her part, huh? Man.
Like Gale sayers.
Feel pretty strong to you? She's a machine.
Yeah, she's solid as a rock, huh? You're not kidding.
Yeah, yeah.
Now, this time, we got to do it.
Okay.
Here it comes.
One, two, three.
Push, Mike, push.
Get in there and push.
I'm pushing.
Okay.
Whoa, wait a minute.
What? You got to get used to him.
You got to get in there and get used to him.
You're desensitized here.
Go pet him.
I don't want to pet him.
You'll be all right.
Go pet him.
See? Sorry about all that Yeah.
hooded thing.
Got a little carried away.
Got a little crazy with the hood.
See? How to make friends and influence people.
Here you come.
Now uh-oh.
Here, they want to come out.
I'll see you on the menu.
Okay.
Yeah, I think we got enough.
Okay, I think I've seen enough.
What are you laughing at? Hey, here You think this is funny, somebody puts a hood over your head? Do you like that? [ Laughter .]
Yeah, we're going up to the country to live with a nice family on a farm.
It's gonna be great.
I would love, love, love to see your dirty videos Of you doing your dirty job.
If you have one A dirty job Send us a videotape of you doing your dirty job.
If it's really dirty, we'll put it on the air, and if it's really, super, super dirty, I'll come out and do it with you.
All the information you need is on our website, discovery.
com/dirtyjobs.
There, is that dirty enough for you? Man: Hey, rhea, can you get some ostrich sounds over there, please? [ Laughs .]
Woman: Give them something to bite on.
Oh! Really got that one.
Grab its neck.
[ Laughs .]
Grab its neck.
God.
[ Laughter .]
My name's Mike rowe, and I've put a pig on a pedestal.
Why? Because even though he works in the dirt, this noble creature is the embodiment of hard work, self-sacrifice, and a good-natured willingness to get the job done, no matter how dirty.
Day after day, he goes about his business without complaint.
And night after night, he brings home the bacon.
[ Pig snorts .]
I am sorry I said that.
What's on your pedestal?
I explore the country looking for people who aren't afraid to get dirty You're gonna get a little taste of what it's like to be a septic tank technician.
hardworking men and women who earn an honest living doing the kinds of jobs that make civilized life possible for the rest of us.
Now, get ready to get dirty.
Coming up on "dirty jobs" I go to the big island of Hawaii and get the dirty scoop on what it takes to make great-tasting coffee.
You smell the poo, don't you? Sure, you do.
Then I join the struggle to save the seals Note the elongated proboscis.
and get a taste of my own medicine.
It's not good.
And later, I take on a descendant of t.
Rex.
There's no second chances here.
And feathers fly at a roundup at the o.
K.
Corral.
They are not right in the head.
Captions by vitac captions paid for by discovery communications it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it [ coughs .]
It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it well, it's a beautiful day here on the big island Sort of.
I've come here for a cup of mountain thunder 100% pure kona coffee.
Instead, I've met the batemans Brooke and Lisa, and that's Brent, and that's Bryce, and this is Trent.
What does This have to do with coffee? Mountain thunder's an organic coffee farm, and we build our own fertilizer.
We've got a seaweed ingredient, ground-up coffee tree, and cherry skins.
Cherry skins? Well, we call coffee "cherry" in the fruit stage, and these are the skins after the bean has been removed.
Now, I don't want to contradict you in any way, but where did this come from? This came from our donkeys.
I knew it donkey poo.
I'd recognize it anywhere, and there were the culprits.
Bottom line here is, is it possible for a guy like me to actually get a cup of coffee here? When you get done with work.
Okay.
Decomposing kelp, coffee-bean skins, mulch, and donkey poo It doesn't sound like the ingredients for a cup of coffee.
A little like baked beans.
The batemans only fertilize once a year, and I was lucky enough to be here at just the right time.
Ah.
Everywhere I go I lose a boot.
There's nothing like a little poo in your boot to get the day off to a good start.
Mountain thunder is only one of a dozen organic coffees produced on the island.
They say this compost gives the coffee a richer taste.
That's nice the way the steam comes off of it.
Yeah, it's like the moors.
Well, Mike, we've got a lot of work to do today.
I think we ought to move on to the next process.
And that would be? Applying it to the trees.
Spreading the poo.
With your hands.
Of course.
I mean, what else would we use? You got one, I get the other? You just leave the family here to fend for themselves? Yeah.
Tough day to be a Bateman, huh? Yep.
Riding on a veritable poop machine Not the most elegant way to travel, but I kept my mouth shut.
No point in making an ass of myself.
How big is your operation? This operation here is 30 acres of organic coffee.
We grow elsewhere another 50 acres of organic and over 120 acres of conventional kona coffee.
We have over 100,000 trees in all.
[ Sheep bleating .]
Man, you got donkeys, you got goats, you got geese.
You have like a petting zoo here.
What's up with all the animals? Well, we need them for fertilizer.
They weed the farm for us.
It makes less work.
We've already got enough work to do without them.
Oh, Mike, not on the tree stalk itself.
You'll burn it.
You got to pull it back a little bit.
What do you mean, I'll burn it? It'll get hot.
The mulch might create heat.
The roots come on out about two feet.
So we want to feed the roots, not the tree.
There were 10,000 trees that needed to be fertilized.
I only did 9,000, with a little help from my friends.
You smell the poo, don't you? Sure, you do.
10,000 coffee trees.
I won't pay $4 for a cup of Starbucks, but I'll do this.
So, Trent, if I understand this right, there are basically two activities that keep you busy when you're outdoors Spreading the poop and actually picking the beans.
And that's where we are right now, and that is Who's that over there? That's lolo, our number-one picker.
What does it take to become a number-one picker? You got to be able to pick 4 bags a day 400 pounds a day.
400 pounds of coffee a day.
Or more.
[ Laughs .]
Uh-oh, got a little bit of yellow on that one.
That's all right.
Just watch out for the green.
It takes 3,000 beans to make a pound of coffee.
I was picking at a pretty good pace.
It seemed like a no-sweat job.
Lolo started the same time we did.
Pay by the bean or by the hour? By the bean.
Oh, man.
That's a lot of beans.
Actually, here it looks like I made a nickel.
Are we going up here? Yep.
In the journey of the bean, this would be the next step.
The wet-milling, or pulping, process.
Wet mill.
Aptly named I can hear water running.
And with the beans we've got, the ones in here, perhaps maybe a cup of coffee is gonna be forthcoming? That might be in order.
Seems like a lot of beans for one cup.
So, on a busy day, we'll do about 400 of these.
400 of these bags, and these are 100-pound bags.
Seven pounds of cherry to make one pound of roasted coffee.
So 7-to-1 ratio.
So 400 pounds, 7 into 40 You're making something like 5 million pounds 500,000 Who cares? It's a lot of coffee.
Let the process begin.
First the beans are soaked and then sorted.
How many steps are involved in making a cup of coffee? I mean, what, 5,000? 6,000? I think there's at least 8 or 9.
Next, the skins are removed by another machine.
This is gonna be my coffee.
Where do they go from here? They go into the fermentation tank.
Yesterday's coffee Good to the last Sludge.
Then the wet beans have to be dried.
Hey, Brent.
Yeah? Do me a favor.
What's that? Tell me when I'm done.
You're done.
The beans on the red surface are soaking wet.
How long till they dry? Three days.
I don't have three days to wait for a cup of coffee.
So next door, we found some dry beans.
We put them into a bag Sewed the bag shut And then took them into another room to open the bag.
I don't really know what any of these buttons do, but I'm hopeful that pressing one of them will bring me a little closer to a cup of coffee.
Welcome back to my quest for a simple cup of coffee, otherwise known as "the bagging of beans, the sewing of bags, and the lifting of bags.
" This is a bag ready for roasting.
Yeah.
Get some coffee.
Okay.
My very own bag of coffee and my very own hernia.
I could almost taste that first cup.
Hi, Brooke.
Hi.
Last time I saw you, you were standing in a great big giant pile of poo.
Yeah, this is much funner.
More funner.
Ready to open it? Well, I just sewed it shut.
Well, now you got to open it.
This place is mildly insane.
Guess what.
Out of the bag Again.
Coffee is being made right now.
It'll take about 15 minutes.
I'll be drinking coffee in 15 minutes.
Well, we're at 181 now, so we still have some time to kill.
What we're gonna do is watch it go up slowly.
Slowly Not a word I wanted to hear.
Now, at 275 Uh-huh.
You switch the air.
So, is it ready yet? No.
Now, by the time 375 comes around, it will be all the way down here, through roasting drum.
How about now? No? And then at 414, the alarm will go off.
So at 414, you do not leave the roaster because there's a lot of times someone will come and talk to you and distract you big-time.
Like me.
And you're gonna burn it.
You want to see a really cool flame? Look at that.
It's in there.
365 Burn the [bleep.]
out of you.
It's changing.
Brooke: Vienna is 440 to 445, and it gets a little confusing with the 275, 375 air controls.
You got to kind of learn your numbers.
Brooke, I've been confused since the moment I walked onto this plantation.
I'm guessing we're gonna drop it at 442.
All right, there's 440 right there.
Yeah, I say 442.
Okay, drop it now.
Dropping now.
You can lift it up a little more.
Just don't smoosh your fingers.
All right.
Oh, smells good.
I wish you could smell this.
I wish I could drink it.
Right, again, into another bag.
Come on! Come on.
It's done.
Turn it off.
Right, right.
Okay.
Now what do you do normally? I would normally seal it and send it to a store, but you want to drink it.
Right.
I don't want to seal any more bags.
Where do we drink it? Outside with my mom.
She's gonna teach you how to make a good cup of coffee.
Your mother's out there waiting? Are you gonna miss me? Yes.
Lisa.
Hey.
What are the odds of getting a cup of coffee? Well, it'll be about 15 minutes.
[ Laughs .]
Really? Seriously? Yes.
Seriously.
Just go ahead, get started.
I'm gonna, uh, go I'm gonna go for a walk.
Okay.
I'll be down here.
Give me a shout when it's ready.
I started working for a cup of coffee 12 hours ago.
I don't know how these guys do it.
Really? Yes.
I'm about to enjoy a cup of the world's finest coffee in the middle of a jungle an hour before bedtime.
It's been a weird day.
What do you guys think? No, never mind.
You're poop machines.
[ Donkey brays, goat bleats .]
This is a life-sized replica of a two-and-a-half-ton adult male elephant seal.
Note the elongated proboscis indicative to the species.
As you can see, he's assumed the fighting posture.
Anyway, you might not think a creature of this size would need protecting.
Think again.
If you're a sick or orphaned marine mammal, you'd be in good hands right here at the marine mammal center in sausalito, California.
With a staff of over 800 volunteers and 40 full-time employees, they work overtime to pamper these pups with a lot of tender loving care.
Well, this is the kitchen at the marine mammal center.
Not exactly five-star, but if you're a sick sea lion or an ailing otter, this is about as good as it gets.
This would be the industrial refrigerator, and if I'm not mistaken, it looks like herring is on the menu.
The head chef/scientist is joelle.
Hi.
Are you a scientist, actually? I'm becoming one.
What are you right now officially? A master's student.
A master's student.
All right.
And you're masquerading as a chef, as well, I suppose.
This is where most of the food prep takes place? Yep.
What's the process? What am I looking at here? You're looking at the elephant seal menu.
You're looking at the orders that the veterinarians give to us to tell us how much we need to feed the animal and any supplements or medications that the animals get.
Every sick animal has a chart.
Every chart tells you what amount and type of medication should be inserted into their food, which is herring.
And, again, the job here is to jam the medicine into the herring so the sick otter/lion/elephant seal pup can have some breakfast.
Exactly.
Or is it lunch? What's in here? Elephant seal vitamin.
[ Mumbling .]
I've created what I believe to be an acceptable cavity.
Okay, excellent.
So now you want to grab that vitamin, nestle it down into the fish.
Got it.
Like that.
All right.
A loaded herring.
Let's eat.
After you.
[ Squeals .]
We need to feed them underwater.
This has suddenly become kind of complicated.
It's breakfast time.
All right.
All the way.
Thanks, Jess.
I thought feeding looked pretty simple, but Nellie was about to prove me wrong.
Got the head.
Thank you.
There you go.
Oh, geez.
Oh, crap.
Nellie You missed again.
Has this guy ever eaten a fish before? Maybe it's not him.
Maybe it's me, you're thinking? So we just have to kind of hold it for him so he gets used to the idea.
You just don't have the swallowing thing down.
Why can't she swallow the fish? She just hasn't gotten used to the process of it yet.
She's hungry, though.
Naturally, what goes in Must come out.
Pup poop.
Please tell me that wasn't you.
Yeah, I'm sorry about the pants.
Cleaning up baby elephant seal poo It's a dirty job.
I might have taken a shot of poo in the eye.
Butricia is standing by right now.
Word is she's hungry.
What I'll do is I'll scoop her up, and then I'm gonna have you go down on top of her and then just hold her steady, and then I'll walk you through it.
Okay? She makes it sound fun And a little dirty.
I'm gonna put your hand here and your hand here.
Now I'm gonna turn you over to cherie, and I'll be right here with you.
Hi, cherie.
Hello.
It's time for her breakfast here.
Mmm.
Good eatin'.
She's a restraint feed.
That means that she's not willingly eating on her own yet.
Right.
Sometimes we can get them to open their mouth by themselves.
Sometimes we have to pop the jaw.
Pop the jaw, did she say? Why don't you try tickling her tail a minute? Uh, Marie, that's my tail.
She likes to do that.
Good grief.
You guys ever get bit? Yeah.
Occasionally.
Do you want to try to pop her mouth? You're not afraid of those teeth, huh? I'm not afraid.
Are you kidding me? I know.
Fearless.
I'm Mike rowe.
I fear no seal.
Well, she opened for me 'cause she heard that.
Thank god 'cause I'm scared to death.
Said, "I don't want his dirty fingers in my mouth.
" You have no idea where these fingers have been, butricia.
I'm wearing kneepads, squatting on a seal with my finger down its throat.
[ Laughter .]
There's something you don't see every day.
Somehow, someway, somebody's gonna eat something.
Stacy's volunteered her time here twice a week for five years, and that means she's pretty much an expert on how things work here at the center.
Here in the kitchen at the marine mammal center, there's a lot of state-of-the-art appliances.
There's also, of course, some new designs in food, and they use the two of those things to make a You call it a protein shake? Yeah, it's fish mash, elephant seal formula, and we call it a milkshake for short.
Nothing good can possibly happen right here, unless, of course, you're an elephant seal or a baby seal.
But we're essentially gonna turn some fish into Fish mash.
Yeah.
You do virtually everything here.
Where does this rank on your list of favorites? Makes me want to vomit.
Excellent.
So, from the grinder This guy? That would be the blender.
Beautiful.
And now we have fish mash.
This unsavory delight is used as a base for individual portions that are prepared for pups with specific dietary needs.
Amber is another volunteer.
All right.
Look out, Julia child.
[ Laughs .]
It's not good.
I can just well imagine.
No, it's not good.
Is there a rest room nearby? Yeah? Tube-feeding is the last resort to get these pups the nourishment they need to keep them alive.
This is Barbie.
Amber: This is Barbie.
Poor Barbie.
She's kind of pooed a little bit.
And you can tell that she's not feeling very well.
She's got goofy eyes, she's got a runny nose, and she's very skinny.
All the way? All the way.
And set that in, just like this.
Like so.
So, what we are doing is inserting the tube into their mouth and gently passing it down their throat.
There we go.
Ah.
Now, how do you know you're in the esophagus and not the trachea? Well, we'll be listening for it, and I'll have you do that, actually.
So, come this way.
Yeah.
And listen in the tube.
Put your ear.
Uh-huh.
What do you hear? Do you hear any gurgling? No.
[ Seal exhaling .]
I heard that.
I hear breathing.
Oh, no, no.
There's gurgling.
Yeah, I hear gurgling for sure.
So that means we're in the stomach.
Got it? Yep.
Push it just down a little bit now.
About like so? Mm-hmm.
You can go a little faster.
Now, does this feel to her like she's eating? Well, her stomach is expanding and getting full.
So there is that sense of satiation.
Just no sense of swallowing.
All right.
I think that's it.
Let me just crimp it, and you can pull it out.
Okay.
So now we're going to remove the tube as slowly as possible.
All right.
Excellent.
So we just fed Barbie.
We just fed Barbie.
The next day, there were eight pups that were given a clean bill of health.
Now they're eligible for release.
Even the best patients in the best hospitals look forward to checking out.
Today, these guys are going home.
Now that they've been taught to track and catch live fish, you can bet they'll never go hungry Probably.
All right.
The seals are in.
These pups are going on a 35-mile ride up the coast to point reyes national seashore.
Point reyes is a federally protected reserve that's now a thriving breeding ground for the once nearly extinct elephant seal.
The rehabilitated seals should be very much at home here.
Of course, they won't be alone.
It's a miserable day in point reyes, California Cold, windy, and rainy Ideal if you're a seal.
Woman: There they go.
Whoo! That's right.
There you go.
I got one left.
There's always one.
There you go.
Come on.
Go! No, no.
The ocean.
You want the ocean.
Come on, guys.
You're going home.
It's nice, it's windy, it's rainy.
I'll miss you.
There you go.
Maybe I'll see you again Maybe on shark week.
Years ago, there was a showdown at the o.
K.
Corral.
Wyatt earp and doc holliday squared off against the clampetts, I believe.
Well, today, we've come to another o.
K.
Corral for another kind of showdown.
Today, it's man versus beast.
[Bleep.]
And the odds are not good.
In the California high desert, this farm raises the strangest flocks Ostriches.
These flightless giants pack up to 450 pounds on a 9-foot frame.
And they don't always play nice.
But adventurous farmers who can learn to move among these African beasts can earn a healthy living.
And that's exactly what Doug Johnson and Pete Smith are doing here at the o.
K.
Corral ostrich farm.
Rowe: That's Steve with the wheelbarrow, and this is Doug with me here at the tailgate, and this is, I guess, how the mornings start at the o.
K.
Ostrich farm? Yeah, we start out with the feed, and then we get into the more interesting, dirty jobs.
Steve, are these dangerous animals? They can be very dangerous, very dangerous.
How dangerous, Doug? We were over here with the bird, and then she got away from us, and she came over and hit this door and just took it right off.
Good lord.
And their knees are all jacked up and backwards, like an alien.
They have a kicking force of 2,000 pounds per square inch.
That's a weird-looking animal.
I got to be honest.
It is.
It dates back 100 million years.
Dinosaurs, basically.
They date back to the t.
Rex.
Basically made perfect and never changed.
Each morning begins with the feeding of the omnivorous ostriches.
And with over 800 mouths to feed, our work is cut out for us.
Back, back.
Don't run out.
Stay there.
Johnson: Mike, can you clear them out of the front of the truck over here? Hey! Off we go, ostriches.
Okay, we're moving ahead.
Here we go.
Good? Yeah, that's real good.
I'll get the gate.
Great.
I'm locking myself in with dinosaurs.
Ho.
Ho! Ho! Okay, we're gonna go feed them.
Just watch the big black ones.
Keep your eyes out.
The big black ones are the males.
They'll kick you.
And the females like to bite.
Don't you? All right.
Johnson: Okay.
Now let's go on over here.
Okay.
Just push her? Push it out.
There it goes.
Come on, guys.
Wait for it.
Where are your manners? Now, you got to Don't worry about it.
Everything's fine.
Don't worry about it? What I do is worry.
[ Laughs .]
Grab ahold of that wheelbarrow.
And let's go over this way.
Okay.
Okay, find those feeders out there.
You got to find the feeders.
Don't hit them in the legs with the wheelbarrow.
No, no, no, no! This bucket's got to be sideways so it all gets in there.
Don't spill any of that feed, now.
Don't spill the feed! Is it feed or is it gold, for god's sakes? $10,000 a month, it's gold.
[ Coughs .]
It's a little dirty in here, I know.
Let's go get some more feed.
Oh, don't spill it! Oh, geez, I'm sorry.
Suck a little dust and away we go.
Yah, come on! Grab ahold of that thing.
I got it, I got it.
All right.
Like a dump truck.
Hold on to that wheelbarrow.
Got her.
There we go.
Don't drop the wheelbarrow! Don't drop the wheelbarrow.
The rest to this guy here? There you go.
Let's go get some more.
Yeah, we're on our way now.
What is that sound we hear? What kind of sound does an ostrich make? They make several sounds.
I hear this weird humming.
They do the whoo, whoo, whoo-o-o.
How's it go again? It goes whoo, whoo, whoo-o-o.
And you notice they all pay attention when I do that.
If you look at all their heads.
Yeah, this is a warning to the group.
It's a group warning, and it's a warning to predators that might be attacking the group in Africa.
And it's letting the predator know that there's something formidable out there in the dark.
Better not come in.
And they go whoo, whoo, whoo-o-o.
And in the dark, if you hear that If they do it, it's so bass, you can hear it for miles.
Whoo, whoo, whoo-o-o.
Yeah, that's it.
Whoo, whoo, whoo-o-o.
Whoo, whoo, whoo-o-o.
And their throat does that whole thing.
Yeah, they inflate their neck, and they get that very deep resonation, and lions know that this is not something they want to come in and eat.
How would a lion do against an ostrich? They find lions in the kalahari desert, dead, that have been kicked in the head and broken their jaws, and they can't eat, and they die of starvation From an ostrich kick.
Once we've put out enough food to feed the whole flock, it's time to refill the ostriches' drinking water, which sounds like a refreshing change of pace after carting dusty wheelbarrows full of feed all morning.
Shows you how much I know.
Johnson: We've arrived.
Okay.
Mike, this is one of the waters here, and the birds regurgitate this vile, black-tar, evil-smelling stuff.
It sinks to the bottom, and every week, we have to clean these waters to make sure that they get good, clean water.
So we're gonna dump half of this out, get this slurry going.
Why does the ostrich vomit in his drinking water? I have no idea why they do that.
I think to probably clean their palate.
[ Grunts .]
There you go.
Hold on to the top so it doesn't get away from you.
That's it.
Let it out.
That's it.
Let it out.
Aw.
Oh, my god.
What the hell? Don't you love that? Yeah, okay.
Now dump it straight up.
That's it, dump it out there.
Oh, it's nasty! [ Coughing .]
Doesn't that pique your appetite? That's just awful.
And there we go.
I can't quite identify the odor.
It's unique.
It's not crap Which I'm familiar with.
Yeah.
This is something else.
That's it.
You got to kind of get down in your work there.
Yeah, get all that nasty algae off there.
That looks really good, Mike.
Yeah, thanks.
I'm desperate for approval.
I think we can get you out here full time if you keep it up.
I get offers like that all the time.
Whoa, easy now.
Don't fall in this stuff, for god sakes.
Here we go.
Oh, dear.
This is the black, tar-like bile, putrid, regurgitive vomit.
Only produced by the ostrich, this particular bouquet.
Eau de la regrette.
[ Grunts .]
There we go.
Oh, god.
That's bad.
Isn't that awful? God forbid it splashes in your face.
Okay.
There we go.
All the way over.
Okay, we're good.
We're good.
Once we finish scrubbing the ostrich vomit out of their water buckets, it's time for a little egg hunt.
Doug collects every egg his ostriches lay.
The fertile ones are carefully placed in an Incubator, while the infertile eggs are somewhat less carefully eaten for breakfast by customers with a taste for the exotic.
Okay, we're gonna pick up some eggs here at the gate, Mike.
We'll have you get the eggs, and I'll hold the gate.
This is the egg box.
It's got foam holes for the eggs, and make it a two-hand drop because if the eggs hit each other, they'll crack.
The male gets down early on in the season, and he digs this nest out.
This is a nest we're looking? Yeah, you can see the indentation in here where he's dug it out with his sharp toenails, and then the females lay in the nest.
Oh, shoot.
Oh, no, look.
He just walked on an egg.
Yeah, we just opened one.
What the heck happened there? Well, she accidentally kicked it, and, now, they really like their own eggs.
Now it's an omelet we got.
We need to get in there and get those eggs out of there.
Let's go get the rest of them before they break those.
Back up, you morons.
You smashed your own egg.
Okay, move it out! Move it out! They must have very tiny brains, no? About the size of a walnut.
So their brains are smaller than their eyes.
Ouch.
Get in there.
They just crushed their own young, and here I am stealing their eggs.
Dangerous? Hell, yeah.
Okay, Mike, get after those eggs.
Get in there and get them.
How does one Just dive in there.
Push them aside.
Honestly? Honestly.
Better get in there.
[Bleep.]
Get in there and get them eggs.
Throw the box down.
I'm throwing the box down.
Don't kick me.
Don't kick me, come on.
Don't kick me.
They just smashed their own young with their tiny You did good, you did good.
All right, we're gonna get some more eggs here.
Okay.
This gal is sitting on them.
Sometimes you get three or four sitters at the same time.
She's sitting on there or is she, uh She's all right, isn't she? Oh, she's fine.
She's fine.
Johnson: Now, go over there and ask her nice to get up off those eggs.
Hey, cupcake.
I need your eggs.
[ Ostrich squawks .]
She's hissing at me.
That's right, talk nice.
Hey, sweetie.
Me and Doug were thinking we could maybe, uh, you know, run off with your ovums.
See if you can go over there and nudge her and see if she'll get up for you.
Hey.
You're on the eggs we need.
Come on, get off those eggs.
You don't want those eggs.
That's it.
There you go.
That's it.
Don't crush your eggs.
One of these.
One of these.
All right.
That wasn't so bad at all He says right before he gets attacked.
We can put those back in the truck.
Okay.
Let's have a word briefly, if we can, about this egg Which is kind of huge.
Yeah, that's anywhere from three to five pounds.
Yeah, that feels like a four-pounder.
It tastes just like a chicken egg, except it's moister and puffier when you cook with it.
The French chefs just swear by it, and it makes a marvelous omelet.
Getting ahold of ostrich eggs is one thing.
Grabbing the ostriches themselves is a whole different story, as I'm about to find out.
When it's time for a road trip, the ostriches have to travel in a horse trailer.
Studies have shown there's only one good way to get an ostrich to climb aboard a horse trailer.
So, we're gonna wrangle some ostriches.
How many can you get in here? We generally take It depends on the distance we're gonna travel Anywhere from 8 to 12.
We're gonna put them right up this ramp here.
Well, how hard can that be? Now, what I want you to do is practice on my hand.
Pretend this is the ostrich.
Now, you're gonna go up.
You're gonna grab my wrist and pull it down, okay, with your left hand.
Now take this hand and grab the beak of the ostrich, like that.
Okay, and now take that hand and whip this over the top and then, utilizing this same hand, hold that.
Now pull your other hand back.
Now let go of that.
Now you got your ostrich hooded.
You want the ostrich to look just like that, ideally.
Now, if the ostrich looks like this, he can see.
That's no good.
We want him blind.
We want a blind ostrich.
Yeah.
And once the ostrich is hooded, he's much easier to handle.
Why am I pulling the neck down? Well, you got to get the ostrich's head down to your belt so they can't kick you.
Why can't he kick me with his head down? Because if you put your head down, can you kick me? No, I guess I can't.
Same thing with the ostriches.
Grab, pull, beak.
So You do the grabbing and the hooding.
Okay.
And I'll do the pushing.
And I'll operate the door.
And Steve will operate the door.
I don't see what could possibly go wrong.
There's that guy over there.
The big boy.
Here he comes.
Okay, Mike.
Now, the boys are the ones that kick you, right? Walk up and grab Come on, Mike.
I don't think the whole sudden-movement thing really? Walk up and, yeah, you got to kind of pin him against the fence there.
You can do it.
Look here, look here.
Watch this.
Grab him.
He's gonna [bleep.]
kick me.
He almost got you, Mike.
He almost got you.
I mean, come on.
It's the 21st century.
There's got to be a way to Steve, you guard the gate.
You guard the gate.
Whoa! Holy crap! That is one nutty ostrich! Guard the gate, that's it.
Steve, you're insane.
Come on, Mike.
Grab his neck.
He's gonna kick me.
Just grab his neck and get his head down.
Oh, Mike.
Mike! Now look here.
Watch, watch.
How much time did you spend telling me about 2,000 pounds of kicking force? Mike, get up here.
Grab his neck.
Here, here, here.
I got his neck.
I got his neck.
He's kicking.
Get his neck down.
Grab him! Grab him! Steve, let go.
Get out of the way, Steve.
Oh, I forgot about the beak.
God, he's a powerful son of a gun! All right now.
[Bleep.]
Hold on now.
Hold on now.
Hold up now.
They're not right.
They are not right in the head.
Mike.
Mike, get over here.
Yes, I'm here.
Yes, yes.
Now take that head right where I got it.
No, no, no, no! No? Right where my hand is.
Give me that left hand.
Grab that bird.
Grab right there.
Grab him right here.
But, look In all the excitement Just be cool, dude.
Oh, Jesus [bleep.]
Now, do it like this.
You see? Get this head here.
Like that, see? It's all over just like that.
Are you [bleep.]
me? Get a wing.
A wing and a tail.
A wing and a prayer is what I got.
Now, let's push.
Come on, here we go.
Here we go.
Holy crap.
That's it, push.
Hey, Doug, this is about the weirdest thing I've done all day, to be honest with you.
Okay, now, watch out.
All right now.
Here we go.
Push.
Get in there.
Get in there.
Hold your man in there.
Hold him in there.
Hold him in there.
I got the door.
Here comes the door.
Okay, take his hood off.
Take his hood off.
There you go.
I'm gonna need to come out, yeah.
Come on out.
There you go.
There we go.
Good job, Mike.
Look at Steve's technique.
This is Oh, this is very nice.
There's no second chances here.
You cannot fail.
Gotcha.
Okay, here's a nice-sized one.
Hey, there.
Get up and squeeze her between you and the fence.
Right, right, right.
Move fast.
Get up there.
That's it.
All right, now.
Whoa! Whoa! We got a wild one! Whoa! Whoa, good one.
Yeah, good job, good job.
Oh, yeah.
Steve, for the home team, baby, right? That's what we're talking about.
Good man, good man.
That was it.
Now we just march her over here to the trailer.
Crap, I got a surprise in my pants.
[ Laughter .]
Now come here and get the bird.
Get the bird.
Right, I forgot the bird.
Where am I getting, here? The wing.
It's like a tiller on a boat.
We're just guiding.
Whoa.
Please don't kill me.
Okay, go ahead, open it up.
Here we come.
[Bleep.]
[ Grunting .]
Don't pull any feathers, now.
No feather pulling.
Okay.
Push like hell.
One, two, three.
Oh, crap! Whoa, here she goes.
Whoa.
Come here.
Come on, get behind her.
Get behind her, come on.
Okay, we got to do it again now.
What a move that was.
Oh, good move on her part, huh? Man.
Like Gale sayers.
Feel pretty strong to you? She's a machine.
Yeah, she's solid as a rock, huh? You're not kidding.
Yeah, yeah.
Now, this time, we got to do it.
Okay.
Here it comes.
One, two, three.
Push, Mike, push.
Get in there and push.
I'm pushing.
Okay.
Whoa, wait a minute.
What? You got to get used to him.
You got to get in there and get used to him.
You're desensitized here.
Go pet him.
I don't want to pet him.
You'll be all right.
Go pet him.
See? Sorry about all that Yeah.
hooded thing.
Got a little carried away.
Got a little crazy with the hood.
See? How to make friends and influence people.
Here you come.
Now uh-oh.
Here, they want to come out.
I'll see you on the menu.
Okay.
Yeah, I think we got enough.
Okay, I think I've seen enough.
What are you laughing at? Hey, here You think this is funny, somebody puts a hood over your head? Do you like that? [ Laughter .]
Yeah, we're going up to the country to live with a nice family on a farm.
It's gonna be great.
I would love, love, love to see your dirty videos Of you doing your dirty job.
If you have one A dirty job Send us a videotape of you doing your dirty job.
If it's really dirty, we'll put it on the air, and if it's really, super, super dirty, I'll come out and do it with you.
All the information you need is on our website, discovery.
com/dirtyjobs.
There, is that dirty enough for you? Man: Hey, rhea, can you get some ostrich sounds over there, please? [ Laughs .]
Woman: Give them something to bite on.
Oh! Really got that one.
Grab its neck.
[ Laughs .]
Grab its neck.
God.
[ Laughter .]
My name's Mike rowe, and I've put a pig on a pedestal.
Why? Because even though he works in the dirt, this noble creature is the embodiment of hard work, self-sacrifice, and a good-natured willingness to get the job done, no matter how dirty.
Day after day, he goes about his business without complaint.
And night after night, he brings home the bacon.
[ Pig snorts .]
I am sorry I said that.
What's on your pedestal?