Dirty Jobs (2005) s01e12 Episode Script

Cheese Maker

1 I'm Mike rowe, and this is my job.
I explore the country looking for people who aren't afraid to get dirty Ugh! [ Spits .]
A hunk of crap just flew straight down my throat.
hardworking men and women who earn an honest living doing the kinds of jobs that make civilized life possible for the rest of us.
Now, get ready to get dirty.
Coming up on "dirty jobs," the San Francisco zoo has all kinds of animals and, for the zookeepers, just as many dirty jobs.
Woman: Do you have a color preference? I prefer the poo you can pick up in one piece.
And I learn that, to a lion, human beings can be cuddly friends Now, see, that's just weird, what you're doing.
Aw, he's a baby.
or potential appetizers.
Then, I go to Vermont to make cheese that's all natural And even supernatural.
The grandson of the founding father died.
He likes to knock the boxes off the shelf.
Sounds like a very playful, mischievous, cheesemaking apparition.
The show just got a little weird.
[ Thunder crashes .]
And later Ow! Ow! Ow! No pain, no gain, because if you want a volcanic-ash mud bath You need a volcano.
And that would be bad to step in.
Captions by vitac captions paid for by discovery communications, inc.
At the San Francisco zoo, zookeepers do more than just feed the animals.
They maintain their physical and mental well-being and educate visitors about wildlife and conservation.
Those are not dirty jobs, but cleaning up poo is.
[ Growls .]
Polar bears are fascinating creatures.
In truth, they're really not white.
Their skin is, in fact, black, and much of their fur is actually a series of translucent, hollow tubes designed to filter warmth and sunlight to their black skin.
I started the day with Deb cano, the zoo's polar-bear keeper.
It was feeding time, so our first stop was a fish tank full of live carp.
Put your net in and scoop them up.
Come on, where are you? What do we have here? There you go.
Oh, hello.
Now you're talking.
Look at that.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, like so? All right.
Feeding time.
Oh, man, look at that.
That's what you call a flying fish.
So, now, uh, how do the bears determine which one gets the fish? First in, first out.
These bears haven't hunted a day in their lives, have they? No, actually, they were quite afraid of these live fish when we first started giving them to them.
They would not go in their pool at all.
We would drain the pool, scoop up the fish, clean the pool, put them back in, and the bears would do what they're doing right now, and that's walk around the pool.
Come and get it.
Beautiful delivery.
They go and sneak up on their prey.
She already got it.
Look at that.
Nailed it.
It took her a fraction of what it took us to catch it.
From carp to crap The cycle of life.
Once the bears were fed, Deb let them into their cages, and we entered the pen to clean up the other half of that cycle of life.
Do you have a color preference? You know, actually, I'm more about the consistency.
I prefer the poo you can pick up in one piece.
Six years of college, Deb.
I could tell.
You left some.
Oh, god.
Come on, now.
Then the hose from the roof, and we get it all.
What about that little slice of heaven? We don't pick up the urine, as well, do we? You'll get some.
Sure I will.
[ Sighs .]
Look at that.
The poo was actually acting as a dam, and now the urine can follow its natural course.
And that's supposed to be some sort of iceberg, I suppose? They're actually fooled by that, are they? No.
[ Chuckles .]
No, because I always heard they were smart.
Going to wash up.
Unh-unh! That's where they swim.
Rowe: Once the poo is collected inside the pens, it has to be picked up.
And the guy that does that is Magnus.
He's the, uh, poo truck driver? Yes, poo truck driver.
All right, so, essentially, your job is you get the wheelbarrow, and you, uh Well, you dump the poo.
Right there.
Tsome dumped.
Dy I see that.
You go to every cage, every pen, every area in the zoo that there's poo, and you, uh, collect it? Yeah.
I see.
Rowe: What did you do before that qualified you to be a poo truck driver? Worked my way up from guest services Dealing with the public.
You start with people, and if you master dealing with people, then perhaps you're qualified to try your hand at poo.
Well, let me ask you this.
If your choices were deal with the public 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, or pick up poo 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, what would you do? I would probably pick up poo.
You're a poo man.
Yes, I am.
Through and through.
[ Chuckles .]
All the poo Magnus picks up is shipped to a fertilizer company, who sell it to local gardeners.
So, basically, you actually fill up the whole poo truck by the end of the day? Almost full.
We're short a couple of elephants.
So now it's not quite as full as it used to be.
So, you've had experience, then, with virtually every type of animal poo? Yeah, just about every animal here at the zoo.
What's your favorite poo? My favorite poop? Giraffe poop.
Why? What is it about giraffes? Kind of looks like cocoa puffs.
Yeacocoa puffs.
Not no.
I never before heard poo compared to breakfast cereal.
Then again, I'd never been face-to-face with a giraffe.
It was time to meet a few.
I'm the San Francisco zoological society's institutional representative for the giraffe and antelope taxon advisory group as part of the American zoo and aquarium association.
Maybe you should do it.
Anthony brown is the San Francisco zoological society's institutional representative for giraffe and antelope taxon advisory group for the American zoo and aquarium association.
Is that right? More or less.
Well, today he's picking up giraffe poo.
Wow, this is quite a barn, Anthony.
This is where the giraffe's stay.
We've got five giraffe in the collection now.
They all stay in here at nighttime to make sure they're safe and sound.
Oh, I can see they've left a little, uh, memento.
Yep, it's their present from last night.
[ Chuckles .]
Wow, it's everywhere.
Once again, I find myself surrounded by zoo poo, but I'm quickly coming to learn not all poo is created equal.
Seems like a fairly dainty by-product, as poo goes.
Yeah, they're very efficient.
They have the 4-chambered stomach, much like cattle, and so they're really extracting every nutrient, so there's hardly any nutrients in there.
That's pretty much just waste.
Which makand airy.
Light yep.
Like a little milk dud.
Has a little bounce to it.
Aah! Anthony.
[ Chuckles .]
What's his name? Floyd.
I know what Floyd's thinking.
"If I were in there right now I'd poo some more, and there's nothing you can do about it.
" You go through a lot of gallons of water, I would guess.
Yeah, we have Wells here on zoo grounds, and there's pumps that pump out groundwater.
Something very satisfying about blasting poo off of a floor with a big hose.
What do you think, Anthony? Looks pretty good.
Heck of a lot better than when we started.
That's for sure.
Actually, it looks great.
This is a clean barn.
You could eat off this floor.
Until tomorrow morning.
Coming up, what's the blue-plate special in the lion house? They're serving horse with a side order of rabbit.
Then, in this factory, cheesy is a good thing.
We're going to cut the cheese.
We're going to cut the cheese.
And later, the pleasures of a hot mud bath.
I got mud in places that a man doesn't necessarily want mud.
I'd been invited by zookeeper Lori komejan to help serve six big cats their afternoon meal.
While I'm not much of a chef, anything that gets the poo shovel out of my hands for a while has got to be a good thing.
Today in the lion house, they're serving horse with a side order of rabbit.
This is Lori.
She's in charge of the lions.
Which means you're also in charge of what the lions eat.
Yes, I am.
We are feeding four lions and three tigers.
Okay, how do we prepare the vittles? All right, well, first, these cats cannot digest fat very well.
That's also why we use horsemeat and not beef, because beef is a very fatty meat.
Horse is lean.
Horse is lean.
You can see there is some fat on here, and we will cut that off.
[ Humming .]
Don't have a horse exhibit here at the zoo, do you? [ Laughs .]
This particular animal is our siberian tiger, who is a little bit spoiled.
He does prefer just the muscle meat or the whole rabbit.
So, does he prefer the horse or the rabbit? He prefers the rabbit.
They all do.
This That should bring us up to what about 10 pounds? To fill all these? Yes, I do.
We better do that fast.
[ Chuckling .]
The rest of the cats dine on a combination of horse sausage and fresh horsemeat.
One finicky sumatran tiger insists that her sausage be mixed into a meat loaf with a special sauce Horse blood.
a little more of that.
Hi, sleepy.
Okay, this is my siberian tiger.
These are the two sumatran tigers that are going to come in.
The hungry cats don't waste a moment when the door opens.
They know it's feeding time.
There she is.
Good girl! [ Roars .]
Are you kidding? The margin for error here seems extraordinary.
[ Smooches .]
Now, see, that's just weird, what you're doing there.
Aw, he's a baby.
He's a baby? He's a big baby.
Oh, my god.
[ Snarling .]
Are you kidding me? I think I just peed on me.
Now, is he upset with me now? He's just reminding you that Thand I don't.
Eth that's right.
He's nice now.
Since the lions seem inclined to mistake me for today's entrée Lori decides I better stick to pushing the wheelbarrow and let her serve the cats their lunch.
Good boy.
Aw, that's a good piece.
At the end of her.
What's her name? Amanzi.
Hello, amanzi.
Oh What's for dinner? Wow, she's hungry.
I'm getting hungry.
[ Growls .]
I wish I could make that noise.
Okay, we're getting in tiger territory, so you got to be a little more careful.
Tony, I put this together for you.
It's a little horsemeat, a little rabbit, little supplement.
I think you're going to like it.
All right, Tony, I'll check back with you.
Chew your food.
Don't rush.
Hey, there.
Yes, you do look angry.
You look very angry.
Why is she so angry, Lori? These are sumatran tigers.
They're the most aggressive of the tigers, so this is just normal behavior.
How they get frosted flakes out of that, I'll never know.
All right, we're done, huh? Well done! Oh, if you were wondering what happened to our rabbit, here comes Peter cottontail.
How do I feel at the end of a long day at the zoo? I'm pooped.
The giraffes, though, certainly understand the drill.
And by this time tomorrow, their barn will once again be an unmitigated disaster area.
The zookeepers will show up, roll up their sleeves, and begin another day of dirty, dirty work.
Back in 1882, the crowley cheese factory was churning out premium cheeses 7 days a week.
Today, they still are.
In fact, there they sit, right where they were over 100 years ago, here in the quaint town of healdville, Vermont.
You know, healdville? Just down the road from mount Holly? Up the road from belmont? That's neither here nor there.
Point is, if you're serious about your cheese, healdville is the center of the universe.
Here at crowley cheese, Ken hart is the big cheese.
Ha cheesemaker? En four years.
You like it.
Yeah, it's fun.
I love the hairnet.
Thank you.
All right, where are we? Everything is white and clean and sterile.
And what's the first step? And how does this work? Basically, the first thing we're going to do is we want to chlorinate the tank.
We use that with chlorine, basically.
We're going to spray down the walls and then squeegee it all out.
I learned early on that preparation is the secret to making great cheese.
We follow the same recipe that they did in 1827.
All right, we're making good time, Ken.
The cheesemaking process, per se, will begin any moment.
Will begin shortly, yes.
These pieces and parts need to go on.
The cheese withough, soon? Ng, yes.
I was anxious for the cheesemaking process to begin.
But, first, we had to finish prepping the vat.
The official name of this? What is this, a skyhook or something? That is just a good question.
Never really thought about that.
I'm going to go with "skyhook" for now.
All right, the gaskets have been applied.
Now we need to put some lube on it.
Lube? Now you're talking my language, Ken.
Lube is a substance we understand on the program.
Can't have too much lube.
If you don't put enough on there, it's going to leak.
Going in.
And [ grunts .]
Now we get the milk.
This whole milk, 2%? It's whole.
Whole milk? Right out of the cow? Who's this woman nodding her head back there? This is Cindy dawley.
She's our general manager.
Okay, what's she doing? She's bringing up the wheels.
Hold the end of that right over the drain.
Okay, you're going to hit a button? I'm going to hit a button.
It's going to give you a little bit of pressure, so hold on tight.
Oh, yeah, sure does.
And you're good to go.
Throw it right in the vat.
There you go.
Well, you might have understated things a bit, there, Ken.
How much milk does it take to create a commensurate amount of cheese? 4,000 pounds.
And how much cheese do you get? 400 pounds.
So, 400 that's 10-1.
Did that in my head.
There you go.
We're right there.
All righty.
That's our "stop" button.
Now that the milk had finally settled, I was ready to start making cheese Or so I thought.
I'm waiting for the curds and the whey.
That'll happen.
Yeah? In about four hours.
It didn't take long for me to understand that the art of cheesemaking requires a great deal of Patience.
This was going to be a very long day.
Now we're going to turn the steam on.
We do that just by pulling down this valve.
Now, explain to me what the steam is doing to the milk.
The steam is actually going to start heating the milk up.
This is actually a steam chamber.
The whole walls are filled with just steam.
And it'll take probably another 40 minutes.
We want 70 degrees to start with.
Coming up, the sexy side of making cheese.
You're in your underpants, basically, aren't you? [ Laughing .]
And later, things heat up at the mud bath It's very warm.
It's very warm.
but they're on fire at the volcano.
Man, that is really hot.
Ken hart and I began making cheese by cleaning the tank and pouring the milk.
Then came steaming the milk to heat it up and the waiting.
At this point in the cheesemaking process, we wait for the milk to reach exactly 70 degrees fahrenheit.
During this critical time, there is virtually nothing to do.
You could help dress the molds.
Is it Cindy? Y job, no.
I'll pass.
Well, according to the thermometer, the milk is now 70 degrees fahrenheit, which means we need to We need to add the culture to it.
What is the culture, exactly? It's called "lactobacillus.
" It actually creates lactic acid, and it'll slowly raise the acid level up as we cook it.
Now, this is enough culture to satisfy 4,000 pounds? This will actually do 5,000 pounds.
A little bit extra is not a bad thing.
Do I just pour it straight in? Pour it straight down the length of the vat.
Run it up the length.
All right.
There we go.
Rowe: So, now we're just basically mixing the culture.
I've never raked milk before.
The perfect storm.
Whoops! [ Chuckles .]
Oh, dear.
Maybe we'll slow down just a little bit.
Oh, my goodness! Everybody's gone surfin' all right, there we go.
I think the milk is raked.
At this point in the cheesemaking process, we're waiting for the milk to heat up to 90 degrees fahrenheit, at which point another ingredient will be added.
During this critical time, there is virtually nothing to do.
The milk is now at 90 degrees.
Time to add a new ingredient.
What is that new ingredient, Ken? Right now, we're going to add rennet, which is the enzyme from a calf's stomach.
It's going to set that milk up to a custardlike state.
Like so.
So, right now, what's happening in here is, this rennet has just come face-to-face with all this milk, and it's immediately interacting with it, turning it into something chunky.
So, how long does it need to set at this point? It will set 40 minutes after this.
40 minutes? 40 minutes.
[ Sighs .]
It was back to the waiting game, so I did what every cheesemaker does.
I sat and waited Patiently.
[ Sighs .]
So, we're checking to see how the congealing is coming.
Coming pretty well? Perfect.
So, if it doesn't stick to your fingers, it's basically ready? It's ready to go.
And when you say "go," what does that mean? That means we're going to cut.
We're going to cut the cheese.
So, this is the cheese knife.
Looks like a cheese grater almost.
These are plastic? Fishline.
Take it all the way down to the bottom and slide it across.
So, we're separating the curds from the whey, right? Right.
This is the curd, basically The solid parts of the milk And the whey, which is the liquid parts of the milk.
And basically, that's why you're doing the cut.
You want to separate the solids from the liquids in the milk.
At this point in the cheesemaking process, the curds have been cut and the cheese has begun to cook.
Now the temperature must be brought to 102 degrees fahrenheit and the contents of the vat continuously raked.
During this critical time period, Ken will have absolutely nothing to do.
All right, the whole team has been assembled right now for this part of the process.
This is Mark.
And, Mark, what's happening? The whole vat's being drained, right? Basically, we're going to drain 3/4 of the whey, keep 1/4 of the whey in the vat.
And then what we're going to do is transfer all the curds and the remaining whey from this vat here into the curd sink.
And the curds go over there.
After 4 hours, 11 minutes, and 23 seconds, we finally had something that resembled cheese.
Got some weight to it.
Now the race was on to keep the curds separated before the cheese was pressed.
So, the job here is to keep it broken up, right? You got it.
All right.
Before, we wanted it to congeal.
Now we don't.
Now we want to break it up.
All right.
Breaking up the curds.
I washed.
It's like magnets and steel.
They really want to be together.
Mark: Salt's going to help.
Salt? All cheese has salt in it? You need it as a preservative and a flavor enhancer.
You guys didn't really warn me, but, uh, suddenly, when I mean, we were sitting around, waiting all day, and then, all of a sudden, it's like This is the hard work right here.
This is where the magic happens, so [ Laughter .]
Mark: Are you kidding me? Hart: It looks like fun.
One minute, we're sitting around, having a nice day, you know, scrubbing out a vat here and there.
Next minute, "hurry up, Mike.
Come on, Mike, you're wrecking everything.
" [ Laughter .]
So, Mark, what we're doing here, then, is you're measuring out cheese wheels, essentially? These are going to be cheese wheels, and they're going to be 2 1/2-pounders.
The molds weigh 3 pounds, and then we're going to put 3 pounds of curd in the molds, as well, so we're basically going for a 6-pound weight right here.
Rowe: As they weigh the cheese, I need to keep separating the curd.
Otherwise, it'll go in in great, big clumps, and then Mark or Ken or Cindy or somebody is going to give me a hard time about it, and I'll just have to work twice as much.
Coming up, I almost lose it at the cheese factory.
Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho-ho.
And later, the naked truth about the ingredients of a volcanic-ash mud bath.
That is insanely hot.
Cindy dawley, the general manager of crowley cheese factory, informed me that, because they were being taped today, everyone was on their best behavior.
Normally, we're having a blast.
We've got the radio blaring.
We're telling Off-color jokes.
And you're in your underpants, basically, aren't you? No, I know what goes on.
We're having a good time.
Sure you are.
All that curd and whey and salt.
Conjures up quite an image, doesn't it? The fun continues with a process known in the cheese industry as "pressing.
" Ultimately, each mold will lose about a pound of milk before it's finished.
Now, Cindy, you've organized your counter in a way that really says you got a plan.
What's the plan? We're going to turn down the cheese.
You mean, like, turn Like just say "no"? [ Chuckling .]
No, I'm going to show you.
We're going to get them ready to go into the press for the night.
You know, let me ask you something seriously.
Any mishaps here in the cheesemaking process? The grandson of the founding father, Robert crowley, died.
God rest his soul.
To Bob crowley? He died Well In here [ Chuckles .]
Making cheese.
Specifically where? Right around the middle of the room, I believe.
What happened to him? Massive coronary.
Was he doing the thing with the hands? I don't know what he was doing.
He's still here.
The guy that died? Yeah, I think his spirit is here.
Now this is getting weird.
You're telling me I'm in a haunted cheese factory? He doesn't hurt anything.
He's very nice.
And he likes to knock the boxes off the shelf.
What you got here you got a poltergeist on your hands.
No, we got Robert.
Robert sounds like a very playful, mischievous, cheesemaking apparition.
He's a true friend of crowley cheese.
The show just got a little weird.
The final stage of cheesemaking involves this steam press, which will squeeze the remaining liquid out of 87 2 1/2-pound wheels, 3 40-pound molds, and one 25-pound mold.
That's a lot of cheese $3,000 worth, to be exact.
All right, these are dummies Empty ones To create the necessary dynamic tension in the press.
I will now turn the lever on the press.
[ Steam hisses .]
All the whey is being pressed out.
Oh, yeah.
And so the whey Goes away.
After hours of measuring, pouring, stirring, battling curds, waiting, and waiting some more, the result.
A nearly completed wheel of crowley Colby cheese.
I say "nearly" because all that's missing is the wax.
Mark's going to take care of that in a moment.
Where are we now? We're in the drying room.
How long does it take 2 1/2 pounds of cheese to dry before you can risk putting the wax on? I would say usually three to four days.
And where is said application completed? That's the wax caldron in the foyer.
Yeah, we got paraffin and beeswax in there.
It's about 220 degrees.
Why do people seal cheese in paraffin and beeswax? Well, you need a good sealer, so what it does is, with the cheese, if you don't have wax, it's going to create some mold.
So, we're making a cheddar-type cheese here, so we don't want the blue cheese, so we need to seal it up pretty good.
So? And then just grab the handles and put it in the wax caldron for about 15 seconds.
Is that hot? It's hot.
All right, I'm going in.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 7 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15.
Looks good.
That's it? We're done? And then bring it on over to the left.
And now you're going to see See those air bubbles? Thesright in here? Les you got it.
And then, um, we got a paintbrush here, and just wax those guys.
Just sort of brush them out on each one.
Like so.
Like so? A little bit more force.
Be aggressive.
Don't baby the cheese.
And then another dip in the wax.
You got to reapply each time.
Shampoo, rinse, repeat.
Done, or in again? In again.
For how long? Just quick dip flash dip.
A little flash wax.
Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho, ho-ho-ho-ho.
Wow, sorry, Mark.
You got it, Mike.
Good save.
Here we go.
And It goes down.
It comes up.
Oh, yeah.
Making cheese.
Well, there it is My day at crowley cheese.
They've been here for over 100 years.
Chances are, they'll be here 100 years from now, making cheese the old-fashioned way With curds and whey and a little bit of help from Robert crowley Jr.
Cindy: It's a very nice ghost Very nice.
[ Thunder crashes .]
Coming up, volcanoes can hurt you.
Don't let it run over your foot, though.
That would be uncomfortable.
But a volcanic-ash mud bath can help you.
Mark: It's very natural.
There's nothing natural about what's happening right now.
Volcanoes have been erupting for millions of years on our planet.
Some have destroyed entire cities.
Others well, they haven't been that bad.
Here in calistoga, California, there are no active volcanoes At least, as far as I'm aware of.
That wasn't always the case, though.
Year ago, eruptions in this part of the country were pretty common.
And as a result of all those eruptions, a lot of volcanic ash was left behind, like this giant pile behind us right now.
The question is, how come it's kept under lock and key behind a barbed-wire fence? What's up with that, Howard? Well, this is a very important part of our business here at Dr.
Wilkinson's hot Springs.
This pile of dirt is actually a special pile of volcanic ash.
We'll turn this into a very unique hot-mud bath as part of a special spa treatment here in calistoga.
I'm going to sit in it? Eventually, you will.
We're going to take you through the process.
You're going to teach you a little bit of work to get there.
Let's go get the dirt.
[ Sighs .]
It's lighter than you might think.
Yeah, it's not dirt like most people have in their backyard.
It's very light, and as it dries out completely, it becomes You'll see when it's screened.
It's very light and dry.
This ash is believed to be from a volcanic eruption that happened over 2 million years ago Give or take a millennium.
Okay, so, now where? Now it's time to wheel this down to the screening area, where we'll refine this so you can take it into the spa.
We collect the dirt to clean the dirt to make the dirt mud so clean people can get dirty? Yes, you've got it.
So, this would be the sifting shed? This is the sifting shed.
Looks like this is not the first wheelbarrow of dirt that's been delivered to it.
Wow, I guess I'll just Basically, dump it right here.
There was enough ash in the shed to last the spa about a year.
So, we have a screen over there, if you'd like to put the screen on the wheelbarrow.
This is the bottom? That's the bottom.
Like this? All right.
So, the goal here is to make it, what, finer? A little finer, get any rocks and any organic matter out of it so that, when it's inside for the spa, that it's as good as it can be.
This is like panning for gold without the, uh Well, without the gold.
There's got to be an easier way.
We have a special tool for that, Mike.
We call it the clump buster.
Oh, the clump buster.
My god, look at her.
She's a beauty.
And they said that breaking up is hard to do.
[ Breathing heavily .]
These clumps are busted.
Clump buster.
Talk to me, Howard.
We got to be close.
I think you're pretty close.
I think it's time for you to go into the spa with that now and [ Laughs .]
Going into the spa.
Follow me.
Holy crap! Now, that is some pretty mud.
You must be Mark.
Hi, Mike, glad to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
This is, uh, this is a mess In a beautiful way.
It's natural mud.
[ Chuckles .]
So, I've worked really hard with your friend Howard out there Who really didn't even break a sweat.
And he's asked me to bring this mud What are we going to do? We're going to mix the ash with hot mineral water.
So, uh, a little bit? Yeah, just a fine mist-over.
Spread it around evenly.
What do you think of that technique? That's good.
Yeah, mastered that a few years ago.
Just don't stop.
[ Chuckles .]
Is the distribution pretty much working out the way you like? Yeah, looks good.
Then, you'll mix it in.
Actually, what I do is go down to the bottom and slowly pull up.
You don't want to pull too hard.
You'll crack the shovel.
Wow, that's heavy mud.
The mud bath consists of volcanic ash, imported peat moss, and water from boiling hot Springs.
Now what we want to do is mix it up.
It's very hot.
Very hot mud.
And we want to mix it up and make sure it's not too hot anywhere.
I could burn myself if I were just to leap in here Willy-nilly.
Yes, that's why it has to be properly prepared.
The mud in the baths can be used repeatedly because the acidity from the ash and the boiling water from the geothermal Springs kill any bacteria that may be present.
If we are, uh, sufficiently mixed Very well done.
So, now I would what? Just hop in? We're going to have you shower first.
You want me to You want me to get clean before I get dirty? Exactly.
You're a complicated guy, Mark.
It's a complicated business.
All right, Mark, I believe I'm getting clean.
There you go, Mike.
A towel is just the thing.
Now, you spend a lot of time around naked people, right? Uh, yes, I do.
I don't want to shock you, but I've just become cleaner than I've been in a long time for the express purpose, it seems, of hopping into some fairly dirty mud.
You see the dichotomy? It's ironic in a certain sense, but we have a number of people that come through every day, and so we ask people to shower off before they get in.
Like a public pool.
You're going to sit on the edge of the tub.
You'll put your legs in the far end.
Then you're going to sit down, your hips in the middle.
You'll do a little calistoga hula, and then you'll lean on back so your head's up on the pillow, and I'll cover you up the rest of the way.
I'm not just simply going to sink into the mud? No, you need a little effort on your part to get down a little deeper.
All right.
My ash is in.
The ash is also in.
All right, good.
It's got a, uh [ Clears throat .]
It's got a funk to it.
Mark, I got, uh [ Sighs .]
I got mud in places that a man doesn't necessarily want mud.
Coming up We're going to put cucumbers over your eyes and then a cold towel over your forehead.
You're turning me into a salad.
A man could easily go to another place in a position like this.
Or in my case, another planet.
At Dr.
Wilkinson's hot Springs and mud baths, I was learning that a dirty job isn't necessarily an unpleasant one.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's living right there.
What happens next? We're going to put cucumbers over your eyes and then a cold towel over your forehead.
Oh, thank you.
You're turning me into a salad.
These are going to help your skin here.
We're also going to put some special volcanic Clay on your face.
It's a combination of different elements, including some of the ash that you are sitting in.
I should simply lie back, shut up, and let the volcanic benefits begin to unfold.
It's very peaceful.
A man could easily go to another place in a position like this.
[ Thunder rumbling .]
You were expecting Neil Armstrong? For me, that place was the still-active kilauea national volcano on the big island of Hawaii, hiking with Ken hon.
Ken is a volcanologist, a specialist in volcanoes at the university of Hawaii.
We were on a quest for a sample of molten lava.
Ken and other scientists hope that, by studying the lava, they may be able to predict future eruptions.
These strange, little mounds out here are called "tumuli.
" Little aneurysms in the earth.
They're basically little earth aneurysms, that's right.
Unpleasant metaphor, but I think I, uh [ Laughs .]
Definitely want to watch your step in a lava field.
As we hiked, we could actually see the heat rising from the ground.
But it wasn't from the sun beating down above us.
It was the lava inches below our feet.
Oh, my god, Ken, I think we might I mean, if that's not it No, that's it, and it's about to really pour out of that crack, too, so let's get down and get a better look at it.
Now, you're telling me it's all right just to hop on this.
Well, you want to do it with some discretion.
[ Laughs .]
Oh, look at that! Holy crap! Now, be careful.
You got to keep your eyes out behind you, because this stuff is sneaky.
You feel the heat off of that now? That is insanely hot.
"Insanely hot" was an understatement.
It was hotter than hell.
And since the radiant heat from the lava flow can badly burn your skin, it was time for a wardrobe change.
You want to see how hot it is? Yes, I am curious about that.
Okay, this is what's called a thermocouple.
It'll give you a little bit of distance from the lava flow.
Slide it into the red stuff, and I'll hold on to the actual readout back here.
It says it's 110 degrees right where we are, right here.
But you don't want to get it stuck in there, because this thing costs about 100 bucks, so I want it back.
All right, I'm good for it.
A release for this? You bet.
You can count on me.
All right, like, this little bit right there? You want to go up into the red-hot part there, yeah.
Now, keep moving it back and forth.
You're at 219 degrees, 400 degrees.
Keep moving it.
Keep it in there.
You got to keep doing this.
700 degrees, 1,300 degrees, 1,300 degrees, 1,400 degrees.
Oh, 800 degrees.
Don't let it run over your foot, though.
Oh, jeez.
Man, that is really hot.
Just step towards me.
There we go.
Okay, you got up to 1,400 degrees fahrenheit.
Is that good? That's warm, but that's about 600 degrees less than it actually is.
Good grief.
[ Laughs .]
And now, for the first time on national television, an up-close, inside look at molten lava.
A very expensive camera has been affixed to the end of our somewhat expensive probe, and now it's all going straight in.
And would you look at that.
That is what lava looks like on the inside.
And this is what our camera looks like on the outside.
But look at that.
We're still broadcasting.
There's Doug, our cameraman.
Hon: You ready to get me a sample now? You want to go where the orange is.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Aah.
Now you got it uncovered.
That's good.
Wow, that's hot! Oh! There we go.
For crying out loud.
2,000 degrees? 2,000 degrees.
And that would be bad to step in.
That would be very bad to step in, yeah.
But all too soon, my reverie was over, as was my day at the spa.
Mark, I'm done.
Yo, Mark.
Mark was gone.
My crew was gone.
My clothes were gone.
And now there was only one way to get home.
[ Horn honks .]
I'd like you to meet some friends of mine.
This is Doug and Ria, will, little Dave, Troy The crew of "dirty jobs.
" Look at them.
They're filthy and sad.
They're sad because they're worried, and they're worried because we are running out of dirty jobs.
Please, if you have a dirty job or know someone who does, send us a videotape of you doing that job.
We need the ideas, and we need the help.
The address is at discovery.
You can do something.
You can make a difference.
You can keep these guys employed And me, too.
You're a fearless woman.
I appreciate your candor.
Yeah, we'll never use any of this.
Oh, good.
I mean, I can't imagine.
Then I'm taking off my hairnet, 'cause I'm hot as hell.
[ Both laugh .]
Cano: That's dam poo.
Rowe: That's dam poo, is what that is.
Typically, Deb, in a format like this, I take care of the jokes.
Just follow my hands up, okay? [ Sneezes .]
[ Man laughs .]
[ Man wolf-whistles .]