Dirty John (2018) s01e02 Episode Script
Red Flags and Parades
1 Previously, on "Dirty John" - I'm Debra.
- John.
- Aw, nice to meet you.
- You look gorgeous.
The minute I opened the door, I was like, "Who is this homeless frat guy?" You know, I'm trying to find somebody - Hey.
- Who's a good person.
What's in the safe, kiddo? And who's smart and funny and good to me Is this the one you love? I'm just sorry I can't get it for us.
I would love to take the Bay Front property.
Good to you kids He's a doctor and a nurse, or he's just not a doctor? And someone I'm attracted to.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
- New recipe experiment.
- Mmm Orange, mango, carrot, ginger and vodka.
- [LAUGHS.]
- [WATER RUNNING.]
Perfect temperature.
[LAUGHS.]
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Kale, pineapple, wheat germ, with a touch of turmeric.
Strawberry, banana, and spirulina.
Blueberry, blackberry, strawberry, and another kind of berry.
[LAUGHS.]
[WATER RUNNING.]
[PHONE DINGS.]
Oh, man.
[CHUCKLES.]
- When did you take this? - I'll never tell.
Oh, dear God.
How am I supposed to get any work done? I love you! Just so I know, does it always have to be the earliest service? I mean, I'm totally up for it, it's just is that negotiable, maybe? Well, I just you know, I find it to be a little bit more peaceful than the 9:00 service.
Right, the other one's more of a scene, huh? Yeah.
And your mom goes to that one.
Yeah.
[SIGHS.]
John.
Yeah.
- What is that? - What is what? - That, on your finger.
- Whoops! [LAUGHS.]
You can't no, I'm serious about this.
You will forget to take it off.
We talked about this, because we want to sit down with everybody, and and, you know, talk it through with them on our terms, and we don't want them just to find out about it.
I know you said that, and I listened because you're the queen of my life, but secretly, I want them to know, - and I want them to know now.
- And I love you for that.
But I just don't want you to wear it to church.
- I could take it off.
- Well, please do.
- But I won't.
- Please, honey.
- Why don't you take it off? - I'm trying.
- Why don't you take it off? - Honey, we're gonna be late.
- There it is, take it off.
- John.
- Take it off.
- I will take that off.
- You want to be late? - No, I want to go to church.
How late do you want to be? How late do you want to be? When I think about Christmas, and the season that we're all in, I think about the ultimate gift.
The the gift of love.
It's a love that is wrapped in giving, and not getting.
It's a love that is given even though we're not ready to receive it.
No, it's a sacrificial kind of love.
It's the love that God gave to the world.
For God so loved the world, that he gave.
And he was expressing his love to us in a way that we would reflect his love [LAUGHS.]
It's just all the talk about Christmas.
You know, it just got me where I live.
And I expected him to be good, I just I didn't expect him to be that good.
I thought Debbie said you'd attended services here before.
Yeah, no, just not with that priest.
Oh, you mean pastor, not priest.
I don't know about you, Arlene, but I need a cup of coffee.
Have you had a cup of coffee today? You scamp, you scamp.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, um sorry, excuse me.
I'll be right back.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Who's that? Is that her, uh No, that's my brother-in-law.
- Ex-brother-in-law.
- Your brother-in-law? You know what? It's gonna take us hours to get out of this parking lot.
Your sister's wait.
My ex-brother-in-law.
I'd love to just get a jump on the traffic.
You don't want to say good-bye? [STAMMERING.]
I can text her good-bye.
All right.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
It's a great day for a hike.
Deer Canyon, maybe? [LAUGHS.]
I don't know.
I'm feeling kind of lazy.
What about a walk? A nice, slow, flat walk.
Okay, a slow, flat walk.
[LAUGHING.]
[FOREBODING MUSIC.]
Hi, friend.
Ah! John! - Who are you? - Shh.
John! [WHISPERING.]
Oh, you're so pretty.
What the hell? [GRUNTING.]
- Stop struggling! - Please! Call 911! [GRUNTING.]
Lay down, lay down! [TENSE MUSIC.]
Now, what were we about to do? Go for a walk? Hmm? What was she doing here? I mean, I never heard of anything like that happening in this neighborhood.
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER.]
You changing your mind? Do you want to press charges? No, I I you know, I don't think we need to.
I just that was really scary.
You know what? Let's go back inside.
Let's take our house back and not let whatever this was ruin it.
Come on.
Some private investigators give an initial consultation for free.
That's true.
I don't do that.
What, does a free consultation mean that they're not legit? I don't know.
I don't know them.
How much did you say your initial deposit was? 2 grand.
Billing rates after that are $150 an hour, plus 67 cents a mile.
You're also responsible for all additional expenses incurred.
License plate searches, cell phone reversal searches I won't know until I incur them.
But I use PayPal.
You can always dispute the charges on there.
A minimum of seven hours in advance plus the deposit, so call it 3 grand.
I spoke to someone who said it's $75 an hour.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
Look.
There are even licensed people out there who will take your money and then go right to the person who you've paid them to investigate and charge them even more money to tell you that everything's fine.
So just make sure that you trust your gut.
Mm-hmm.
I like the tassels on your bag.
Kind of like fringe, but not.
Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I know you have your two drawers.
- Here we go.
- Well.
I you know, as a designer of interiors, it it physically pains me that I can't introduce you to some better organizational system.
Because then it'll be perfect.
That'll totally throw out my thought process.
There you go, I just closed it.
Now you can't see.
I know, but I still know it's there.
Do you know when you're going to the bank next? Uh, I don't know.
I don't have any plans to go.
Why? Wow.
I work with uninsured patients, and most uninsured patients pay cash.
I just thought you could deposit it for me.
Um You want me to deposit that into my account? Yeah, I mean, it's less than 10 grand if you're worried about the IRS.
God, speaking of the IRS.
I totally report my income.
- Are you kidding me? - No, I'm sure, I just Okay, I have enough problems with them because of my crazy ex.
I just have to be a little creative with my accounting, that's all.
- Um - You know what? If you're not comfortable, that's fine, I understand.
No, no, no, no.
I think, um you know what we could do? I have a little cash here in the house that I just keep here in case, you know, there's an earthquake, God forbid, or, um the zombie apocalypse [LAUGHS.]
- As Terra keeps talking about.
- Right.
We'll just put it with that.
Perfect.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
Okay.
- Mm.
- How much is it? I don't know.
Maybe Probably 80 or 90 thousand? I've been taking a thousand out of my paycheck now for [LAUGHING.]
Okay.
- Mom, where's the car? - Morning, Veronica.
Oh, yes, well, I'm very well rested.
Thank you for asking.
Is the car in the shop? No.
You can use the Rover, but you'll have to go out to Balboa.
No, I can barely see over the dashboard of the Rover.
God, have you not met me before? All right, then maybe you won't drive any car.
Maybe that's what's gonna have to happen.
Wait, does he have the Maserati? Who? He, who? John? Yes.
John has the Maserati.
He's doing errands for me today, and he's going to fill it up with gas.
Why is he using your car for that? - Where is his car? - Where is your car? He uses my car because he does many things for me during the day that are very, very helpful, and he enjoys driving the car.
Does he tell you actually where he's going? Yes, I know where he's going.
He's going to run errands.
We should put a tracking device on the car.
[LAUGHS.]
- Veronica! - Why are you laughing at me? Don't laugh at me.
It's not funny.
Well, sweetheart, a tracker on the car? - Yes.
- What in the world for? Because then you will know the actual deal and if he's telling the truth or not.
Okay, well, if that's gonna make you feel better about everything, then let's put a tracker on the car.
You put the tracker on the car, okay? Mom.
There is something wrong with him.
Do you not see that? [TENSE MUSIC.]
Yes, I know that's what you think.
You've made it very clear.
You've made it clear to me, and you've made it clear to John.
We both know, Veronica, that that's what you think.
Okay.
Why do they even bother with catalogues in this day of online shopping? I don't know.
Well, because I like to look at the pictures in the bathtub and while I'm having my feet rubbed.
Oh, a little reflexology.
Yes, please.
Okay, I'm starting at your neck.
Mm, oh, I feel that.
- Oh - [LAUGHS.]
I rented a safe deposit box today.
You know, for, like, important papers, birth certificates, that kind of thing.
- Wedding rings.
- Mm.
So you don't accidentally, on purpose, wear yours.
[CHUCKLES.]
I was thinking we should probably put the cash in there too.
You know, in case there's, like, a fire, for instance.
I I think that that's illegal.
I don't think you can put cash in those things.
No, that's only if you're, like, laundering money, or you can't prove how you got it, which you can, and I can, so.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I still like the idea of having some here, you know.
What if something goes wrong? That's when we'll worry about it.
Okay.
Speaking of worrying, I I've been thinking about that woman, you know? The home invader? Oh, yeah, I know.
Me too.
I just think we need a little peace of mind.
- What do you mean? - Well I think we should install a security system, you know? - Some cameras.
- Here? Yeah.
I mean, God forbid there's a next time, and I didn't do everything I could now, I'd go crazy.
Hmm.
Nancy tells me you don't have cameras at Madeira, as well.
I mean, you got movers coming in and out all day.
I know, I know.
I just I don't know.
I have never, ever remembered a single alarm code or password in my life.
- I'll help you remember.
- Oh, you will? - Mm-hmm.
- Lucky me.
[BOTH CHUCKLING.]
[BRIGHT MUSIC.]
[CHUCKLES.]
I am obsessed with this.
Oh, I'm serious.
I never want to stop looking at this.
- Oh, good.
- Liam kept saying mid-century.
Like he even knew what that meant.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
You know what I'm thinking now, is that you need to redo his office at Presbyterian too.
Oh.
Oh, is he not at Laguna Med? He was going to, until Prez offered him Head of Urologic Surgery.
Oh, isn't that great? Oh, wonderful.
Well, you know, if he's at Prez, he might know my boyfriend.
Oh, my God.
You're dating a doctor? Debra, oh my goodness! You tell me his name right now, and I'll just book our couple's trip to Tulum.
[LAUGHS.]
His name is John Meehan.
Some people say "mi-han," but.
John Meehan.
[SOFT TENSE MUSIC.]
Huh.
Did he just start at Prez? Uh, well, he's been there about a year, but he was in Iraq before that.
Well, Liam would have definitely mentioned him if he knew that, Mr.
86th Combat Support Hospital.
Weird.
Does this work? Well, it's the only one we sell at the clinic.
My boss helped develop the formula, I guess.
I mean, it says to use on the face and neck, but I just used it on my whole body.
You can get more of it, right? [CLEARS THROAT.]
I hope so.
Hm.
[EXHALES.]
- What? - Christmas is gonna be awful.
I mean, you won't be there, Jimmy won't be there.
I want to see all the kids, and I I want to frost cookies with them and watch Rudolph and track down Santa's sleigh on that government website and not have to deal with John at all and just eat Grandma's marshmallow strawberry Santa hats.
[RETCHES.]
Gross.
I guess I won't be getting you any.
No, thank you.
What are you doing? What is that? I'm gonna put this tracker on the Maserati so I can see where John goes all day.
- What? - Yeah, look.
- It's syncing now.
- Oh, my God.
What what did Mom say? What did you ask her? I told her she should, or that I should, and she didn't say no, so.
Well, what about the private detective you said you were hiring? Yeah, I'm still figuring that out.
[AMBIENT ROCK MUSIC.]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
- You left it on the bed.
- Oh, thank you.
Mm-hmm, who's TS? Who the hell is TS? T "Can't wait for tomorrow night.
" Who is it? It's it's Toby.
- Who's Toby? - It's my it's my nephew.
Toby Sellers? They're coming over tomorrow night to meet you.
- With his sons, remember? - Yeah.
Jonah and Kirby.
You went to college with somebody named Kirby.
- Right, right.
- Whole conversation.
We talked about this.
I bought meat for the grill because we talked about this.
I'm sorry.
[LAUGHING.]
Yeah, you were yeah.
- I'm sorry.
- No, it's okay.
I'm part Sicilian on my dad's side, so sometimes, I go off before I know what's going on.
Descended from the Anastasias.
Albert Anastasia? The Gambino boss? Founded Murder, Inc? I they sound like lovely people.
It's pretty heavy stuff, is what it is, which my dad was really proud of, for some reason.
Well you have your own things to be proud of.
Right? Do you think maybe you're a little nervous that maybe Toby's not gonna be nice to you like Terra and Ronnie? Because that's not going to happen.
He's a darling.
Yeah, they all want to shoot the threes, right? Exactly, they all want to be Curry, right? My coach used to say, "Four passes, then you shoot.
" Right, fundamentals.
[CHUCKLES.]
So, uh you still play, or? I try to.
I mean, in my head, I'm still hardcore, but my body's full of metal, so no more.
Hm, from from what? Oh, I told you, hon.
Iraq.
Oh, right, yeah, Iraq.
[TIMER BEEPING.]
Oh, I think that means dinner might be ready.
- You need a hand, or ? - No, sit.
Hey, boys.
Uh, two minutes, okay? - There we go.
- Two minutes.
[VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE.]
I hope I didn't, uh bring up any bad memories.
- I don't want to - No, it's fine, honestly.
It's it's I don't need to relive them again, but - Okay.
- Yeah.
Fast-roping out of a CH-47.
Rounds going past my head, no weapon.
- I was fine the first time.
- Are you kidding? Yeah, they didn't want me carrying a gun, because technically, you're a doctor, right? - You're not a soldier.
- Right.
I mean, you can still die like a soldier.
Flight two, I was armed.
I learned from my mistakes.
Cheers to that.
Cheers.
Here's to swimming with bow-legged women.
You like I love "Jaws.
" - Are you kidding? - We're cheersing.
- Oh, okay! - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tell me what you think.
I think him coming to all these family gatherings and everywhere just makes it seems like he's really important and permanent, when it's only been, like, two months.
Okay.
What about you, Debra? Well, he is important to me.
And you know, I think sometimes that's hard for you to accept, so you try to make him feel excluded or not welcome.
I don't know, so maybe he'll leave? But he's not leaving.
What might be actual things that we could do to make this event more tolerable for each of you? Well, I would just love if you would treat John with the same respect and politeness that you would treat anybody.
What do you think of that? It's fine As long as he stays away from Annie and Tyler.
Why would he do that? Why does he have to play with them? Why would stay away from the grandkids But why does he need to pretend to be their friend? - Because it's Christmastime! - I mean, who is that for? It's not for them, so why do it? It's Christmas.
Can you try to explain a little more what you're thinking, Terra? [INHALES, SIGHS.]
Because when Mom and John break up, the kids will be confused.
They won't understand where he went, or why.
You know, and they'll just blame themselves.
Just like I always did.
Every time.
When I was their age, and and the same thing would happen to me.
Do you think that's a reasonable request, Debra? I I well, I don't, really.
But do you think you can honor it? I guess I could.
["WINTER WONDERLAND".]
Sleigh bells ring Are you listening? In the lane, snow is glistening I got it, it's all right.
Thanks, Santa.
Don't forget this.
Really? Okay, all right.
So cute! Here to stay is the new bird Let's go, come on.
[LAUGHING.]
Ho ho ho.
[SIGHS.]
In the meadow, we can build a snowman [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
He is Parson Brown He'll say are you married? We'll say no, man But you can do the job when you're in town Grandma made Santa hats! See? They're Santa hats! As we dream - Anybody home? - Hi.
- Merry Christmas.
- Ho ho ho.
Look, it's Santa! [CLAMORING.]
Hey, whoa, you guys are strong.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Come on, where's the tree? - Put them under the tree.
- Ho, ho, help me.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, gentle, gentle.
Oh, my goodness.
Thank you, Santa.
- Say thank you to Santa.
- Thank you, Santa! - No problem.
- Hi.
Hi, sweetheart.
How are you? Terra, Terra? Terra! What about candy canes, guys? - Oh.
- I'll talk to her.
Oh, John looks so handsome.
[LAUGHS.]
You did good.
OK, I'll bring her back.
Oh, thanks, Mom.
Careful.
Close one there.
- Oh, look at that! - A little candy cane action.
[SOBBING.]
Terra.
Terra, I need you to come back in.
She she told me that that she'll keep him away from them.
I went with her to Rebecca, and she she promised me.
Keep keep keep him away from the kids? Well, why would that be her condition, right? Is she saying there's something inappropriate with the kids? Oh, no.
You know she doesn't care if John hangs out with the kids.
He's wonderful with children.
No, the kids are an excuse so that she doesn't look selfish because she doesn't want him around.
[AMBIENT MUSIC.]
You did kind of set him up, though.
You had him come in with the bags.
He was being a gentleman.
I mean, those bags were heavy.
- I know.
- I didn't think he was I certainly wasn't going to be carrying those bags in.
No.
Terra, Terra, no.
This is awful.
Oh, for the life of me, I can't You asked her to do what? [SNIFFS.]
And now, look at you.
You're in here crying, just [SOBS.]
You missed Thanksgiving, and I know that hurt you.
And and I know it hurt me.
And now, here you go again anyway.
I it's just it's too much.
It's too much, honey.
Don't you see that? You know, I I know that you don't like him, but he loves your mama.
Come on, please.
It's Christmas.
Ronnie and Terra have not given him one single chance.
Not from the very first minute that they met him.
And I have decided I am not gonna let them dictate the terms of this relationship.
Not this time.
[CHUCKLES.]
[AMBIENT MUSIC.]
I think I'll go check on the turkey.
That's a good idea.
And so, I'm offering this simple phrase To kids from one to 92 Although it's been said Many times, many ways Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Merry Christmas To You - Thanks for waiting.
- Sure thing.
[KNOCKING.]
Hey.
Merry belated Christmas.
What are you doing here? I thought you were in Sedona.
Well, plumbing-related issue at the condo, so.
- Oh, no.
- Yeah.
Well, how was your holiday? Are you loving the new place? - Oh, we're loving it.
- You are? - It's great, yeah.
- Um, does John feel better now that the cameras are set up? He does, mm-hmm, yeah.
And you know, it's great for the insurance rates.
Yeah.
Um Not everyone here is the happiest about it, though.
- Oh, no.
- It's just, they well, they feel like maybe you don't trust them or something.
Oh, of course I trust them.
You have to tell them.
Well, I can't, because then they'll know I told.
Well, no, no, it's I mean, we had a break-in.
- Oh.
- You know, we had this this homeless woman just in our house.
So yeah, that's what got us thinking about security and everything.
Okay, so so you have these cameras at your house too? - Yeah.
- Oh, well that's fun at least.
Oh, we love ours.
I mean, we spy on Darryl all day long.
- Oh, Darryl the dog? - Oh, yeah.
You can watch them from your phone.
Oh, I didn't know that you could do that.
Oh, yeah, I mean, I do it.
You know, could I put that on my can I do it on my phone? Oh, you want me to download it for you? Yeah, I mean, if yeah, that'd be great.
Sure, it's easy.
Here.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Hey, is Jimmy even back yet? No, not till next week.
But, so what? I mean, I'd rather spend New Year's Eve alone in Vegas than here with everyone asking me, why can't I just relax? Like telling anyone to relax ever actually made anyone feel relaxed.
I just I just want everyone to be happy all together.
Tell me anything I just said.
Well, I never told you to relax, and I don't want everybody to be happy together.
[SCOFFS.]
So where does he go? I mean, he goes to the hospital, to the dry cleaners, to the gym.
That gross taco place too.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
But what does this mean? - It means nothing.
- I don't get it.
But it has only been six days.
But yeah.
Right now, it means nothing.
Mmm.
One time, this buddy and I, we think we're tequila guys, so we do a blind taste test of all these high-end reposados, and somebody sneaks in the big box store house brand.
Guess which one we all pick? Yeah, but that doesn't mean you're not a tequila guy.
It just means the big box brand can hang now.
- Exactly.
- Right? What's your drink? Oh, me? I'm just a I'm just a beer guy.
Pretty simple.
My dad was a brown liquor guy, bourbon.
- What about yours? - Uh - What was your dad's drink? - Okay.
Don't fill up on chips.
And if one of you wants to come help me carry these dishes in, I think we'll be great.
- I'll do it.
- You got it? Let me ask you a question.
Does Ronnie give you a hard time? Because she seriously has it in for me.
No, she probably just wants to make sure you're you know, you're in this thing for real, you know? The right reasons.
Well, that's what I keep saying.
You know, if you want to win over Ronnie, just don't leave.
- Right.
- Either that, or I could take her out with a Winchester .
30-06 and a 1,000 yard headshot.
What? John.
[CHUCKLES.]
Is that a joke? I mean you told him what happened, right? Oh, I wasn't thinking about your mom.
I was just I was just oh, my God, no, I'm sorry.
I was just thinking Newport Beach, Republican gun country.
I'm sorry, it was not funny.
Not funny.
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
Maybe one of you could, um, come help with the sauces.
Yeah, I'll do that.
Hey, it's fine.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Damn it.
[LOCK BEEPS.]
Yes.
I I know, right? Oh, my God, I swear, I would not get married again if it cured cancer.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
- I gotta go.
- I have a bag.
Okay, um, did you check our website to see if - Yes, I did.
- Okay.
And what condition is it in? Pristine would mean no marks.
Excellent, one mark.
More than two marks I have a silver Chanel milk carton bag.
No, you don't.
Oh, but I do.
Quilted sides, palladium hardware, authenticity card, booklet, gift box, and dust bag.
And it's in pristine condition, so.
- We'll buy it.
- Yeah, you will.
And I'll tell you for exactly how much.
He might have paid a service to push his name down in search engine rankings, or to pull other John Meehans who aren't him up, but I found a recent previous address I'm excited about, and I'm about to make a deep dive into public records now, so.
[SHUTTER SNAPS.]
What you're gonna go out there? I thought that's what you're paying me for.
I'm paying you to find things.
I've still got to figure out what to do with them when you do.
I try not to read a book by its cover, you know? I hear something about someone, I want to judge them for myself.
But maybe you know, he said a messed-up thing, but he might just be a messed-up guy.
Maybe he has emotional issues from being over there.
He might just need our help.
- It's not here anymore.
- Okay.
When it was, he was living here? Definitely.
[DOG BARKING.]
Stop barking, Larry! Um, so he was living here in 2016? Yep.
And he kept it parked here when he was in Iraq? Why do you keep saying that? - Saying what? - That John was in Iraq.
Because this is on record as his residence when he was over there.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
What? Are you saying he wasn't there? Ever? I don't know.
I'm just saying he wasn't in Iraq when you keep saying he was.
Are you sure? Yeah, I am really, really sure.
Hard to believe? Wouldn't be if you knew him better, and I knew him really, really well.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Hi.
Oh, hey.
- Hey.
- How are you? - Oh, I'm good.
- Good.
- I am so glad that you called.
- Yeah.
We haven't had lunch at the yacht club in years.
I know.
- How was New Year's Eve? - Yeah.
It was it was okay.
Oh, okay.
What's the matter? - I need to talk to you - Okay.
About John.
Toby, I swear, he did not mean to say - No, no, no, no.
- Something so terrible.
And he just doesn't know you well enough yet You're right, he doesn't know me, I don't know him, and you? You don't know him, either.
Well, I do know him.
- No, you don't.
- I do, hon, I do.
What if I told you that he wasn't in Iraq? Hmm? That the storage locker - Well, he was in Iraq.
- That he told you about is actually an RV that he lived in in Cathedral City.
What about that? Honey, have you been talking to Veronica? We hired someone.
A private detective.
And we did it because we love you, and because we're scared.
Why would you hire a private detective? Because we need to know why he's lying.
We need to figure out why he's lying to you.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, you you kids.
[CHUCKLES.]
I I don't really know what to say.
John is not a perfect person.
He's not, and I know that, and he's been very honest about that.
But I love him because he's a good man And I see that.
So I'm gonna go on home.
[KNOCKING.]
Well, hi! Did I know you were coming? [LAUGHS.]
Hi, Mom.
John's just so he's so courteous, you know? - Yeah.
- He's just what what my mama would have called "gallant.
" - Yes.
- Hm.
- I said "chivalrous" - Yes.
- To Ronnie.
- Yes, chivalrous.
Very, very kind and considerate.
- I saw that immediately.
- Mm-hmm.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Hey, buddy.
How's it going? - Is Aunt Debbie here? - No, she went out.
She'll be back soon, though.
You want to come in, have a beer? No, no, it's okay.
I'll just I'll try her cell.
He's so much fun to be with.
I like people who make people laugh.
He has a very cute sense of humor.
Oh, he's so goofy, Mom.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Oh, I haven't seen that yet.
Well, we have fun.
Hey, man, if you're feeling weird about the other day, I understand.
I don't feel weird at all.
It's okay.
I'll just keep trying her.
You really want to talk to her.
What's what's going on? What's the problem? You.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Every man I was ever with, every single one, at some time or another, would say, "Oh, if you'd have asked me, I'd have done it.
" - Oh, hmm.
- Well I don't want to tell you.
I want you just to know, and to do it.
And John, just he just does it.
He just knows.
Isn't that something? I found out some things about you.
You weren't in Iraq.
You lived in a trailer park.
You don't have homes.
You don't even have a medical license.
Prove it.
Prove anything that you've told Aunt Debbie.
You can't.
He's just so he's so good to me.
He gives me so much.
And you know - my girls - Oh, gosh.
Oh, God bless them.
I love them so much.
Mm.
But they I mean, they hate him, Mom.
[SMACKS LIPS.]
And now, they got Toby hating him too.
Oh, they'll come around.
They will.
They have to, because I think this is it for you.
Yes.
I do too.
You should probably go.
I'm gonna tell her everything, you hear me? Everything.
And whatever it is that you think you're doing here, I'm gonna be right here.
I will be right here waiting, pal.
You know what? You worry about your own sad life.
I'll worry about Debbie, okay? You don't have an aunt anymore.
Don't you get that? I have a wife.
We're married now.
You threaten her, you threaten me.
Please.
That's a joke, right? You're not you're not married.
Mm-hmm.
You know what? This is embarrassing, really.
I mean, come on.
I would be embarrassed to be such a loser.
You should be glad your dad killed your mom so she didn't have to be around to see this.
Have a great day, Toby.
Oh, I'm so glad you like him, Mom.
I love him.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
I love him because he loves you, and because he takes such good care of you.
Mm-hmm.
And because he looked so handsome at Christmas.
[LAUGHS.]
Mom! - Bye, sweetie.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Love you too.
- Bye.
Hey, wife.
How was your day? Long.
- How was yours? - It was good.
Oh.
I'm gonna get the mail.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Did you open my mail? Hmm? [STAMMERS.]
- How dare you? - I wa It's a felony to open someone's mail.
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
I don't know what that was.
I don't know what just happened, okay? This guy is an Army vet.
A young guy.
I met him, he came in for neck surgery, he has issues.
He's in the can for a robbery.
So I try and help him out, you know? I send him care packages, moral support, that kind of thing.
I don't know why I didn't just tell you that.
I don't know why I keep testing you.
Just Deb, please.
Don't let me do this.
Don't let my fear ruin us.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
- John.
- Aw, nice to meet you.
- You look gorgeous.
The minute I opened the door, I was like, "Who is this homeless frat guy?" You know, I'm trying to find somebody - Hey.
- Who's a good person.
What's in the safe, kiddo? And who's smart and funny and good to me Is this the one you love? I'm just sorry I can't get it for us.
I would love to take the Bay Front property.
Good to you kids He's a doctor and a nurse, or he's just not a doctor? And someone I'm attracted to.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
- New recipe experiment.
- Mmm Orange, mango, carrot, ginger and vodka.
- [LAUGHS.]
- [WATER RUNNING.]
Perfect temperature.
[LAUGHS.]
[UPBEAT MUSIC.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Kale, pineapple, wheat germ, with a touch of turmeric.
Strawberry, banana, and spirulina.
Blueberry, blackberry, strawberry, and another kind of berry.
[LAUGHS.]
[WATER RUNNING.]
[PHONE DINGS.]
Oh, man.
[CHUCKLES.]
- When did you take this? - I'll never tell.
Oh, dear God.
How am I supposed to get any work done? I love you! Just so I know, does it always have to be the earliest service? I mean, I'm totally up for it, it's just is that negotiable, maybe? Well, I just you know, I find it to be a little bit more peaceful than the 9:00 service.
Right, the other one's more of a scene, huh? Yeah.
And your mom goes to that one.
Yeah.
[SIGHS.]
John.
Yeah.
- What is that? - What is what? - That, on your finger.
- Whoops! [LAUGHS.]
You can't no, I'm serious about this.
You will forget to take it off.
We talked about this, because we want to sit down with everybody, and and, you know, talk it through with them on our terms, and we don't want them just to find out about it.
I know you said that, and I listened because you're the queen of my life, but secretly, I want them to know, - and I want them to know now.
- And I love you for that.
But I just don't want you to wear it to church.
- I could take it off.
- Well, please do.
- But I won't.
- Please, honey.
- Why don't you take it off? - I'm trying.
- Why don't you take it off? - Honey, we're gonna be late.
- There it is, take it off.
- John.
- Take it off.
- I will take that off.
- You want to be late? - No, I want to go to church.
How late do you want to be? How late do you want to be? When I think about Christmas, and the season that we're all in, I think about the ultimate gift.
The the gift of love.
It's a love that is wrapped in giving, and not getting.
It's a love that is given even though we're not ready to receive it.
No, it's a sacrificial kind of love.
It's the love that God gave to the world.
For God so loved the world, that he gave.
And he was expressing his love to us in a way that we would reflect his love [LAUGHS.]
It's just all the talk about Christmas.
You know, it just got me where I live.
And I expected him to be good, I just I didn't expect him to be that good.
I thought Debbie said you'd attended services here before.
Yeah, no, just not with that priest.
Oh, you mean pastor, not priest.
I don't know about you, Arlene, but I need a cup of coffee.
Have you had a cup of coffee today? You scamp, you scamp.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, um sorry, excuse me.
I'll be right back.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Who's that? Is that her, uh No, that's my brother-in-law.
- Ex-brother-in-law.
- Your brother-in-law? You know what? It's gonna take us hours to get out of this parking lot.
Your sister's wait.
My ex-brother-in-law.
I'd love to just get a jump on the traffic.
You don't want to say good-bye? [STAMMERING.]
I can text her good-bye.
All right.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
It's a great day for a hike.
Deer Canyon, maybe? [LAUGHS.]
I don't know.
I'm feeling kind of lazy.
What about a walk? A nice, slow, flat walk.
Okay, a slow, flat walk.
[LAUGHING.]
[FOREBODING MUSIC.]
Hi, friend.
Ah! John! - Who are you? - Shh.
John! [WHISPERING.]
Oh, you're so pretty.
What the hell? [GRUNTING.]
- Stop struggling! - Please! Call 911! [GRUNTING.]
Lay down, lay down! [TENSE MUSIC.]
Now, what were we about to do? Go for a walk? Hmm? What was she doing here? I mean, I never heard of anything like that happening in this neighborhood.
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER.]
You changing your mind? Do you want to press charges? No, I I you know, I don't think we need to.
I just that was really scary.
You know what? Let's go back inside.
Let's take our house back and not let whatever this was ruin it.
Come on.
Some private investigators give an initial consultation for free.
That's true.
I don't do that.
What, does a free consultation mean that they're not legit? I don't know.
I don't know them.
How much did you say your initial deposit was? 2 grand.
Billing rates after that are $150 an hour, plus 67 cents a mile.
You're also responsible for all additional expenses incurred.
License plate searches, cell phone reversal searches I won't know until I incur them.
But I use PayPal.
You can always dispute the charges on there.
A minimum of seven hours in advance plus the deposit, so call it 3 grand.
I spoke to someone who said it's $75 an hour.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
Look.
There are even licensed people out there who will take your money and then go right to the person who you've paid them to investigate and charge them even more money to tell you that everything's fine.
So just make sure that you trust your gut.
Mm-hmm.
I like the tassels on your bag.
Kind of like fringe, but not.
Thank you.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I know you have your two drawers.
- Here we go.
- Well.
I you know, as a designer of interiors, it it physically pains me that I can't introduce you to some better organizational system.
Because then it'll be perfect.
That'll totally throw out my thought process.
There you go, I just closed it.
Now you can't see.
I know, but I still know it's there.
Do you know when you're going to the bank next? Uh, I don't know.
I don't have any plans to go.
Why? Wow.
I work with uninsured patients, and most uninsured patients pay cash.
I just thought you could deposit it for me.
Um You want me to deposit that into my account? Yeah, I mean, it's less than 10 grand if you're worried about the IRS.
God, speaking of the IRS.
I totally report my income.
- Are you kidding me? - No, I'm sure, I just Okay, I have enough problems with them because of my crazy ex.
I just have to be a little creative with my accounting, that's all.
- Um - You know what? If you're not comfortable, that's fine, I understand.
No, no, no, no.
I think, um you know what we could do? I have a little cash here in the house that I just keep here in case, you know, there's an earthquake, God forbid, or, um the zombie apocalypse [LAUGHS.]
- As Terra keeps talking about.
- Right.
We'll just put it with that.
Perfect.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
Okay.
- Mm.
- How much is it? I don't know.
Maybe Probably 80 or 90 thousand? I've been taking a thousand out of my paycheck now for [LAUGHING.]
Okay.
- Mom, where's the car? - Morning, Veronica.
Oh, yes, well, I'm very well rested.
Thank you for asking.
Is the car in the shop? No.
You can use the Rover, but you'll have to go out to Balboa.
No, I can barely see over the dashboard of the Rover.
God, have you not met me before? All right, then maybe you won't drive any car.
Maybe that's what's gonna have to happen.
Wait, does he have the Maserati? Who? He, who? John? Yes.
John has the Maserati.
He's doing errands for me today, and he's going to fill it up with gas.
Why is he using your car for that? - Where is his car? - Where is your car? He uses my car because he does many things for me during the day that are very, very helpful, and he enjoys driving the car.
Does he tell you actually where he's going? Yes, I know where he's going.
He's going to run errands.
We should put a tracking device on the car.
[LAUGHS.]
- Veronica! - Why are you laughing at me? Don't laugh at me.
It's not funny.
Well, sweetheart, a tracker on the car? - Yes.
- What in the world for? Because then you will know the actual deal and if he's telling the truth or not.
Okay, well, if that's gonna make you feel better about everything, then let's put a tracker on the car.
You put the tracker on the car, okay? Mom.
There is something wrong with him.
Do you not see that? [TENSE MUSIC.]
Yes, I know that's what you think.
You've made it very clear.
You've made it clear to me, and you've made it clear to John.
We both know, Veronica, that that's what you think.
Okay.
Why do they even bother with catalogues in this day of online shopping? I don't know.
Well, because I like to look at the pictures in the bathtub and while I'm having my feet rubbed.
Oh, a little reflexology.
Yes, please.
Okay, I'm starting at your neck.
Mm, oh, I feel that.
- Oh - [LAUGHS.]
I rented a safe deposit box today.
You know, for, like, important papers, birth certificates, that kind of thing.
- Wedding rings.
- Mm.
So you don't accidentally, on purpose, wear yours.
[CHUCKLES.]
I was thinking we should probably put the cash in there too.
You know, in case there's, like, a fire, for instance.
I I think that that's illegal.
I don't think you can put cash in those things.
No, that's only if you're, like, laundering money, or you can't prove how you got it, which you can, and I can, so.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I still like the idea of having some here, you know.
What if something goes wrong? That's when we'll worry about it.
Okay.
Speaking of worrying, I I've been thinking about that woman, you know? The home invader? Oh, yeah, I know.
Me too.
I just think we need a little peace of mind.
- What do you mean? - Well I think we should install a security system, you know? - Some cameras.
- Here? Yeah.
I mean, God forbid there's a next time, and I didn't do everything I could now, I'd go crazy.
Hmm.
Nancy tells me you don't have cameras at Madeira, as well.
I mean, you got movers coming in and out all day.
I know, I know.
I just I don't know.
I have never, ever remembered a single alarm code or password in my life.
- I'll help you remember.
- Oh, you will? - Mm-hmm.
- Lucky me.
[BOTH CHUCKLING.]
[BRIGHT MUSIC.]
[CHUCKLES.]
I am obsessed with this.
Oh, I'm serious.
I never want to stop looking at this.
- Oh, good.
- Liam kept saying mid-century.
Like he even knew what that meant.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
You know what I'm thinking now, is that you need to redo his office at Presbyterian too.
Oh.
Oh, is he not at Laguna Med? He was going to, until Prez offered him Head of Urologic Surgery.
Oh, isn't that great? Oh, wonderful.
Well, you know, if he's at Prez, he might know my boyfriend.
Oh, my God.
You're dating a doctor? Debra, oh my goodness! You tell me his name right now, and I'll just book our couple's trip to Tulum.
[LAUGHS.]
His name is John Meehan.
Some people say "mi-han," but.
John Meehan.
[SOFT TENSE MUSIC.]
Huh.
Did he just start at Prez? Uh, well, he's been there about a year, but he was in Iraq before that.
Well, Liam would have definitely mentioned him if he knew that, Mr.
86th Combat Support Hospital.
Weird.
Does this work? Well, it's the only one we sell at the clinic.
My boss helped develop the formula, I guess.
I mean, it says to use on the face and neck, but I just used it on my whole body.
You can get more of it, right? [CLEARS THROAT.]
I hope so.
Hm.
[EXHALES.]
- What? - Christmas is gonna be awful.
I mean, you won't be there, Jimmy won't be there.
I want to see all the kids, and I I want to frost cookies with them and watch Rudolph and track down Santa's sleigh on that government website and not have to deal with John at all and just eat Grandma's marshmallow strawberry Santa hats.
[RETCHES.]
Gross.
I guess I won't be getting you any.
No, thank you.
What are you doing? What is that? I'm gonna put this tracker on the Maserati so I can see where John goes all day.
- What? - Yeah, look.
- It's syncing now.
- Oh, my God.
What what did Mom say? What did you ask her? I told her she should, or that I should, and she didn't say no, so.
Well, what about the private detective you said you were hiring? Yeah, I'm still figuring that out.
[AMBIENT ROCK MUSIC.]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH.]
- You left it on the bed.
- Oh, thank you.
Mm-hmm, who's TS? Who the hell is TS? T "Can't wait for tomorrow night.
" Who is it? It's it's Toby.
- Who's Toby? - It's my it's my nephew.
Toby Sellers? They're coming over tomorrow night to meet you.
- With his sons, remember? - Yeah.
Jonah and Kirby.
You went to college with somebody named Kirby.
- Right, right.
- Whole conversation.
We talked about this.
I bought meat for the grill because we talked about this.
I'm sorry.
[LAUGHING.]
Yeah, you were yeah.
- I'm sorry.
- No, it's okay.
I'm part Sicilian on my dad's side, so sometimes, I go off before I know what's going on.
Descended from the Anastasias.
Albert Anastasia? The Gambino boss? Founded Murder, Inc? I they sound like lovely people.
It's pretty heavy stuff, is what it is, which my dad was really proud of, for some reason.
Well you have your own things to be proud of.
Right? Do you think maybe you're a little nervous that maybe Toby's not gonna be nice to you like Terra and Ronnie? Because that's not going to happen.
He's a darling.
Yeah, they all want to shoot the threes, right? Exactly, they all want to be Curry, right? My coach used to say, "Four passes, then you shoot.
" Right, fundamentals.
[CHUCKLES.]
So, uh you still play, or? I try to.
I mean, in my head, I'm still hardcore, but my body's full of metal, so no more.
Hm, from from what? Oh, I told you, hon.
Iraq.
Oh, right, yeah, Iraq.
[TIMER BEEPING.]
Oh, I think that means dinner might be ready.
- You need a hand, or ? - No, sit.
Hey, boys.
Uh, two minutes, okay? - There we go.
- Two minutes.
[VIDEO GAME GUNFIRE.]
I hope I didn't, uh bring up any bad memories.
- I don't want to - No, it's fine, honestly.
It's it's I don't need to relive them again, but - Okay.
- Yeah.
Fast-roping out of a CH-47.
Rounds going past my head, no weapon.
- I was fine the first time.
- Are you kidding? Yeah, they didn't want me carrying a gun, because technically, you're a doctor, right? - You're not a soldier.
- Right.
I mean, you can still die like a soldier.
Flight two, I was armed.
I learned from my mistakes.
Cheers to that.
Cheers.
Here's to swimming with bow-legged women.
You like I love "Jaws.
" - Are you kidding? - We're cheersing.
- Oh, okay! - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tell me what you think.
I think him coming to all these family gatherings and everywhere just makes it seems like he's really important and permanent, when it's only been, like, two months.
Okay.
What about you, Debra? Well, he is important to me.
And you know, I think sometimes that's hard for you to accept, so you try to make him feel excluded or not welcome.
I don't know, so maybe he'll leave? But he's not leaving.
What might be actual things that we could do to make this event more tolerable for each of you? Well, I would just love if you would treat John with the same respect and politeness that you would treat anybody.
What do you think of that? It's fine As long as he stays away from Annie and Tyler.
Why would he do that? Why does he have to play with them? Why would stay away from the grandkids But why does he need to pretend to be their friend? - Because it's Christmastime! - I mean, who is that for? It's not for them, so why do it? It's Christmas.
Can you try to explain a little more what you're thinking, Terra? [INHALES, SIGHS.]
Because when Mom and John break up, the kids will be confused.
They won't understand where he went, or why.
You know, and they'll just blame themselves.
Just like I always did.
Every time.
When I was their age, and and the same thing would happen to me.
Do you think that's a reasonable request, Debra? I I well, I don't, really.
But do you think you can honor it? I guess I could.
["WINTER WONDERLAND".]
Sleigh bells ring Are you listening? In the lane, snow is glistening I got it, it's all right.
Thanks, Santa.
Don't forget this.
Really? Okay, all right.
So cute! Here to stay is the new bird Let's go, come on.
[LAUGHING.]
Ho ho ho.
[SIGHS.]
In the meadow, we can build a snowman [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
He is Parson Brown He'll say are you married? We'll say no, man But you can do the job when you're in town Grandma made Santa hats! See? They're Santa hats! As we dream - Anybody home? - Hi.
- Merry Christmas.
- Ho ho ho.
Look, it's Santa! [CLAMORING.]
Hey, whoa, you guys are strong.
- Hi, sweetie.
- Come on, where's the tree? - Put them under the tree.
- Ho, ho, help me.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, gentle, gentle.
Oh, my goodness.
Thank you, Santa.
- Say thank you to Santa.
- Thank you, Santa! - No problem.
- Hi.
Hi, sweetheart.
How are you? Terra, Terra? Terra! What about candy canes, guys? - Oh.
- I'll talk to her.
Oh, John looks so handsome.
[LAUGHS.]
You did good.
OK, I'll bring her back.
Oh, thanks, Mom.
Careful.
Close one there.
- Oh, look at that! - A little candy cane action.
[SOBBING.]
Terra.
Terra, I need you to come back in.
She she told me that that she'll keep him away from them.
I went with her to Rebecca, and she she promised me.
Keep keep keep him away from the kids? Well, why would that be her condition, right? Is she saying there's something inappropriate with the kids? Oh, no.
You know she doesn't care if John hangs out with the kids.
He's wonderful with children.
No, the kids are an excuse so that she doesn't look selfish because she doesn't want him around.
[AMBIENT MUSIC.]
You did kind of set him up, though.
You had him come in with the bags.
He was being a gentleman.
I mean, those bags were heavy.
- I know.
- I didn't think he was I certainly wasn't going to be carrying those bags in.
No.
Terra, Terra, no.
This is awful.
Oh, for the life of me, I can't You asked her to do what? [SNIFFS.]
And now, look at you.
You're in here crying, just [SOBS.]
You missed Thanksgiving, and I know that hurt you.
And and I know it hurt me.
And now, here you go again anyway.
I it's just it's too much.
It's too much, honey.
Don't you see that? You know, I I know that you don't like him, but he loves your mama.
Come on, please.
It's Christmas.
Ronnie and Terra have not given him one single chance.
Not from the very first minute that they met him.
And I have decided I am not gonna let them dictate the terms of this relationship.
Not this time.
[CHUCKLES.]
[AMBIENT MUSIC.]
I think I'll go check on the turkey.
That's a good idea.
And so, I'm offering this simple phrase To kids from one to 92 Although it's been said Many times, many ways Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Merry Christmas To You - Thanks for waiting.
- Sure thing.
[KNOCKING.]
Hey.
Merry belated Christmas.
What are you doing here? I thought you were in Sedona.
Well, plumbing-related issue at the condo, so.
- Oh, no.
- Yeah.
Well, how was your holiday? Are you loving the new place? - Oh, we're loving it.
- You are? - It's great, yeah.
- Um, does John feel better now that the cameras are set up? He does, mm-hmm, yeah.
And you know, it's great for the insurance rates.
Yeah.
Um Not everyone here is the happiest about it, though.
- Oh, no.
- It's just, they well, they feel like maybe you don't trust them or something.
Oh, of course I trust them.
You have to tell them.
Well, I can't, because then they'll know I told.
Well, no, no, it's I mean, we had a break-in.
- Oh.
- You know, we had this this homeless woman just in our house.
So yeah, that's what got us thinking about security and everything.
Okay, so so you have these cameras at your house too? - Yeah.
- Oh, well that's fun at least.
Oh, we love ours.
I mean, we spy on Darryl all day long.
- Oh, Darryl the dog? - Oh, yeah.
You can watch them from your phone.
Oh, I didn't know that you could do that.
Oh, yeah, I mean, I do it.
You know, could I put that on my can I do it on my phone? Oh, you want me to download it for you? Yeah, I mean, if yeah, that'd be great.
Sure, it's easy.
Here.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Hey, is Jimmy even back yet? No, not till next week.
But, so what? I mean, I'd rather spend New Year's Eve alone in Vegas than here with everyone asking me, why can't I just relax? Like telling anyone to relax ever actually made anyone feel relaxed.
I just I just want everyone to be happy all together.
Tell me anything I just said.
Well, I never told you to relax, and I don't want everybody to be happy together.
[SCOFFS.]
So where does he go? I mean, he goes to the hospital, to the dry cleaners, to the gym.
That gross taco place too.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
But what does this mean? - It means nothing.
- I don't get it.
But it has only been six days.
But yeah.
Right now, it means nothing.
Mmm.
One time, this buddy and I, we think we're tequila guys, so we do a blind taste test of all these high-end reposados, and somebody sneaks in the big box store house brand.
Guess which one we all pick? Yeah, but that doesn't mean you're not a tequila guy.
It just means the big box brand can hang now.
- Exactly.
- Right? What's your drink? Oh, me? I'm just a I'm just a beer guy.
Pretty simple.
My dad was a brown liquor guy, bourbon.
- What about yours? - Uh - What was your dad's drink? - Okay.
Don't fill up on chips.
And if one of you wants to come help me carry these dishes in, I think we'll be great.
- I'll do it.
- You got it? Let me ask you a question.
Does Ronnie give you a hard time? Because she seriously has it in for me.
No, she probably just wants to make sure you're you know, you're in this thing for real, you know? The right reasons.
Well, that's what I keep saying.
You know, if you want to win over Ronnie, just don't leave.
- Right.
- Either that, or I could take her out with a Winchester .
30-06 and a 1,000 yard headshot.
What? John.
[CHUCKLES.]
Is that a joke? I mean you told him what happened, right? Oh, I wasn't thinking about your mom.
I was just I was just oh, my God, no, I'm sorry.
I was just thinking Newport Beach, Republican gun country.
I'm sorry, it was not funny.
Not funny.
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
Maybe one of you could, um, come help with the sauces.
Yeah, I'll do that.
Hey, it's fine.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Damn it.
[LOCK BEEPS.]
Yes.
I I know, right? Oh, my God, I swear, I would not get married again if it cured cancer.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
- I gotta go.
- I have a bag.
Okay, um, did you check our website to see if - Yes, I did.
- Okay.
And what condition is it in? Pristine would mean no marks.
Excellent, one mark.
More than two marks I have a silver Chanel milk carton bag.
No, you don't.
Oh, but I do.
Quilted sides, palladium hardware, authenticity card, booklet, gift box, and dust bag.
And it's in pristine condition, so.
- We'll buy it.
- Yeah, you will.
And I'll tell you for exactly how much.
He might have paid a service to push his name down in search engine rankings, or to pull other John Meehans who aren't him up, but I found a recent previous address I'm excited about, and I'm about to make a deep dive into public records now, so.
[SHUTTER SNAPS.]
What you're gonna go out there? I thought that's what you're paying me for.
I'm paying you to find things.
I've still got to figure out what to do with them when you do.
I try not to read a book by its cover, you know? I hear something about someone, I want to judge them for myself.
But maybe you know, he said a messed-up thing, but he might just be a messed-up guy.
Maybe he has emotional issues from being over there.
He might just need our help.
- It's not here anymore.
- Okay.
When it was, he was living here? Definitely.
[DOG BARKING.]
Stop barking, Larry! Um, so he was living here in 2016? Yep.
And he kept it parked here when he was in Iraq? Why do you keep saying that? - Saying what? - That John was in Iraq.
Because this is on record as his residence when he was over there.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
What? Are you saying he wasn't there? Ever? I don't know.
I'm just saying he wasn't in Iraq when you keep saying he was.
Are you sure? Yeah, I am really, really sure.
Hard to believe? Wouldn't be if you knew him better, and I knew him really, really well.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Hi.
Oh, hey.
- Hey.
- How are you? - Oh, I'm good.
- Good.
- I am so glad that you called.
- Yeah.
We haven't had lunch at the yacht club in years.
I know.
- How was New Year's Eve? - Yeah.
It was it was okay.
Oh, okay.
What's the matter? - I need to talk to you - Okay.
About John.
Toby, I swear, he did not mean to say - No, no, no, no.
- Something so terrible.
And he just doesn't know you well enough yet You're right, he doesn't know me, I don't know him, and you? You don't know him, either.
Well, I do know him.
- No, you don't.
- I do, hon, I do.
What if I told you that he wasn't in Iraq? Hmm? That the storage locker - Well, he was in Iraq.
- That he told you about is actually an RV that he lived in in Cathedral City.
What about that? Honey, have you been talking to Veronica? We hired someone.
A private detective.
And we did it because we love you, and because we're scared.
Why would you hire a private detective? Because we need to know why he's lying.
We need to figure out why he's lying to you.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, you you kids.
[CHUCKLES.]
I I don't really know what to say.
John is not a perfect person.
He's not, and I know that, and he's been very honest about that.
But I love him because he's a good man And I see that.
So I'm gonna go on home.
[KNOCKING.]
Well, hi! Did I know you were coming? [LAUGHS.]
Hi, Mom.
John's just so he's so courteous, you know? - Yeah.
- He's just what what my mama would have called "gallant.
" - Yes.
- Hm.
- I said "chivalrous" - Yes.
- To Ronnie.
- Yes, chivalrous.
Very, very kind and considerate.
- I saw that immediately.
- Mm-hmm.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Hey, buddy.
How's it going? - Is Aunt Debbie here? - No, she went out.
She'll be back soon, though.
You want to come in, have a beer? No, no, it's okay.
I'll just I'll try her cell.
He's so much fun to be with.
I like people who make people laugh.
He has a very cute sense of humor.
Oh, he's so goofy, Mom.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Oh, I haven't seen that yet.
Well, we have fun.
Hey, man, if you're feeling weird about the other day, I understand.
I don't feel weird at all.
It's okay.
I'll just keep trying her.
You really want to talk to her.
What's what's going on? What's the problem? You.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Every man I was ever with, every single one, at some time or another, would say, "Oh, if you'd have asked me, I'd have done it.
" - Oh, hmm.
- Well I don't want to tell you.
I want you just to know, and to do it.
And John, just he just does it.
He just knows.
Isn't that something? I found out some things about you.
You weren't in Iraq.
You lived in a trailer park.
You don't have homes.
You don't even have a medical license.
Prove it.
Prove anything that you've told Aunt Debbie.
You can't.
He's just so he's so good to me.
He gives me so much.
And you know - my girls - Oh, gosh.
Oh, God bless them.
I love them so much.
Mm.
But they I mean, they hate him, Mom.
[SMACKS LIPS.]
And now, they got Toby hating him too.
Oh, they'll come around.
They will.
They have to, because I think this is it for you.
Yes.
I do too.
You should probably go.
I'm gonna tell her everything, you hear me? Everything.
And whatever it is that you think you're doing here, I'm gonna be right here.
I will be right here waiting, pal.
You know what? You worry about your own sad life.
I'll worry about Debbie, okay? You don't have an aunt anymore.
Don't you get that? I have a wife.
We're married now.
You threaten her, you threaten me.
Please.
That's a joke, right? You're not you're not married.
Mm-hmm.
You know what? This is embarrassing, really.
I mean, come on.
I would be embarrassed to be such a loser.
You should be glad your dad killed your mom so she didn't have to be around to see this.
Have a great day, Toby.
Oh, I'm so glad you like him, Mom.
I love him.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
I love him because he loves you, and because he takes such good care of you.
Mm-hmm.
And because he looked so handsome at Christmas.
[LAUGHS.]
Mom! - Bye, sweetie.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Love you too.
- Bye.
Hey, wife.
How was your day? Long.
- How was yours? - It was good.
Oh.
I'm gonna get the mail.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
Did you open my mail? Hmm? [STAMMERS.]
- How dare you? - I wa It's a felony to open someone's mail.
[OMINOUS MUSIC.]
I don't know what that was.
I don't know what just happened, okay? This guy is an Army vet.
A young guy.
I met him, he came in for neck surgery, he has issues.
He's in the can for a robbery.
So I try and help him out, you know? I send him care packages, moral support, that kind of thing.
I don't know why I didn't just tell you that.
I don't know why I keep testing you.
Just Deb, please.
Don't let me do this.
Don't let my fear ruin us.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]