Divorce (2016) s02e07 Episode Script

1 Our 16-year-old son, Tom, has recently become sexually active.
- Oh hi, Robert.
- Ah! Ella said that you went over there and told her to stay away from your son.
She is my daughter.
I don't know.
Maybe I am better off on my own.
FRANCES: We were here all night working and then we figured we might as well stay and watch the sun rise.
Like a cute little indie movie the two of you.
Hey, Frances, how's Andrew doing? FRANCES: He's not a boyfriend.
We are just casual.
- Mom? - Oh my god.
It was nice meeting you.
Maybe next time you'll have your fly up.
I'm not very good at letting someone into my life.
I really like you, Robbie.
I like you too.
This thing it's not so bad, is it? Not so bad at all.
(MUSIC PLAYING) (CHATTER) Wow, dating since high school.
That's kind of amazing.
Thank you.
Well, we broke up for a few years in there.
- Well, sure.
- We both had some growing up to do.
- (CHUCKLES) - 'Course, her version of growing up was sleeping with our contractor.
- (CHUCKLES) - Well, that's awful.
Yeah.
I should have seen it coming.
That's kind of an awkward skeleton to bring up in the middle of a cocktail party.
- I've heard worse.
- What about you? What was the nail in your marriage? Oh, uh you know we grew apart.
Typical story.
- Hmm.
- Shall we browse? (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) OPENING BID: $60,000? Jesus, that's a lot of money for some dead socialite's hairbrush.
Okay.
- Oh, God.
- Oh, no, no, no.
Listen, Astrid Mayberry was one of the original - (SNORING) - New York City socialites.
The real deal with a very famous art collection.
So what you're seeing here today are, like, perfect little pieces of history.
Now this see, this is cool right here.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, 11 11:00.
Look, look, look, look, look, look, look.
Skip, Skip Zakarian.
- Yeah, that's the big - You know him? - The gallery owner guy, right? - Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Time for some, um - Shameless self-promotion.
- Get in there.
All right, look away.
This will not be pretty.
- Wow, it's exquisite.
- Mm-hmm.
The brass with those rubies.
- Edw is it Edwardian? - Definitely.
If I had to guess, I'd say it was Imperial Russian.
Oh, yeah.
Mr Mr.
Zakarian? Hi, I've I've wanted to meet you for a very, very long time.
I'm Frances Everdell.
- It's Skip.
Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
I can just, very quickly, just share with you.
When I was when I was 25, I had a sort of quarter-life crisis.
- (BOTH CHUCKLING) - I know, it's very silly, but I wandered into your gallery when it was teeny-tiny on Broome Street, and I just felt like I could breathe again.
- So, thank you.
- Thank you.
You realize that space is now a Forever 21.
Oh.
God, poor SoHo.
Anyway, I now own a small gallery with contemporary work, and we are having an opening on Thursday, and if your schedule allowed, I would be so honored Thursday I have a board meeting for the Whitney.
It should only take six to eight hours.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE) - MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, the auction preview will close in five minutes.
Please take your seats in the main gallery.
- Good luck in there.
- Oh, thank you.
You, too.
You, too.
(STUTTERS) And bye-bye.
We have to close the sale today.
We are so close.
- What's that smell? - Apple pie.
The smell drives the price up 7-10%.
No, no, no, no, no.
Back away from the pie.
Over here.
Bring your nostrils into this corridor.
It's like right in here.
- (INHALES) - There's like a a stink stream right through here.
- Got that? - Oh.
Oh, shit, what is that? Yeah, the stink is intensifying up here.
Oh, man.
(GROANS) - Okay, found it.
- (FLIES BUZZING) - Whew.
- Oh, God! - What is that? - It's either a bloated raccoon or the neighbor's cat.
Either way, it's deceased.
- (DOORBELL RINGS) - (GASPS) Shit.
Okay, look.
You deal with the buyer, I'll dispose of the dead body.
Okay.
Let's do this.
I keep Febreze in my trunk.
All right.
- Coming! - All right, motherfucker.
Hi, Katie.
Welcome back.
Come on in.
And you brought your mom.
Hi, I'm Jackie.
It's lovely to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Come on in.
MAN: "Girls in a Field" goes for $170,000.
- Too rich for my blood.
- (CHUCKLES) The next piece is item number 152.
One of Ms.
Mayberry's most cherished pieces.
A one-of-a-kind magnifying glass dated 1910 Imperial Russia.
Brass with turquoise, rubies, and crystal inlay.
Sylvia would love that.
All right, here goes nothing.
And we start the bidding at $750.
- Yes! - I see $750.
Do I see $1,500? I see $1,500.
Do I see $2,000? Well, I'm out.
- (GROANS) - Yeah, of course.
- Thanks a lot, Skip.
- $2,000.
- How about $2,500? - (EXHALES) - What are you doing? - I'm bidding.
- I see $2,500.
$3,000? - You're insane.
What are you doing? Do I see $3,000? $3,000? - I see $3,000.
- Wow.
How about $3,500? $3,500? Anyone? - For a brass with rubies - Do not, do not, do not.
- going gone.
- (EXHALES) And the magnifying glass goes for $3,000.
Fuck.
What are you grinning at, dumbass? And is this the master bedroom down here? Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, Mama.
Who's running this tour? Me.
Actually, why don't we come look in the guest room? There's beautiful lighting this time of day.
Come on.
There we go.
And last, but not least, the master bathroom.
Hello, sorry I'm late.
- Oh.
Hi.
- Robert DuFresne.
Nice to see you.
Hello.
I'm glad you made it.
Look at this gorgeous bathroom.
Yeah, I wish I could take credit for it.
- ROBERT: Take it easy! - JACKIE: Thank you so much.
- Thank you! - (HORN HONKS) Thank you.
- Oh, my God, we did it.
- Yeah.
35 over asking.
Boom, sold.
Mwah! - We are so good at this.
- Yeah.
What, you mean disposing dead animals? - (LAUGHS) - No, ha.
Flipping houses.
Robbie, we should keep doing this.
We should team up.
What do you think? Huh? Wait.
Wait, wait.
We're already teamed up.
We just sold three in a row with the help of a third-party raccoon.
No, we should, I mean, officially do business.
I buy the houses and you design and renovate, and we turn a tidy profit.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
What do you say? Are you kind of, like, scared, but also a teeny bit excited? - Come on.
Put them up.
- Hmm.
- Put them up.
- I don't know.
What you're doing is really annoying, so.
But, uh I don't know.
Hate to say it, but I do like it.
(MUFFLED SQUEALING) Oh, we have to give Rocky a proper burial.
I feel very strongly about that.
- We? - Yeah, you.
- What, me? - (GRUNTS) We're gonna I'm gonna bury the raccoon? Meet the ball early, folks.
Oh.
(GROANS) - Dallas! - Easy does it.
Pick up the balls and see you next week.
I meant to do that.
Yeah? Then great shot.
Well, I wish I had your serve.
Thanks.
I've been working like a dog on it.
Um, you know, just an idea you wouldn't want to get an iced tea after this, would you? Why? Did you have other questions about your membership? No, no, just to, um, cool off, chat, get to know each other, and (SIGHS) Oh.
Um, yeah, I would like that.
Um, I can't today, though.
- Can we do it next week? - Sure.
Um (LAUGHS) I mean, I could pretend to look at my schedule, but I'm just gonna I'm just gonna go ahead and say that I'm free.
- Cool.
- Cool.
- All right, well - All right.
Yeah.
Okay, wine glass rental check, right? What time are the caterers coming to set up? - Tomorrow at 2:00.
- Tomorrow at 2:00 Oh, I've gotta I've gotta decide how to cover the Pelts.
Wait, what? know this is a touchy subject between us, but Sylvia and I would just feel more comfortable if it's covered for the opening.
It's not personal, Diane, it's just that's (STUTTERS) it's just not part of Sylvia's work, you know? Oh, hey, Travis.
- Package for you.
- Ah, thank you.
- There you go.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
See you soon.
- Yeah.
So you want to cover the Pelts, the one thing that's been our biggest, most consistent draw since we opened? Sure, I'll just see if a TaskRabbit can come whip up a mile-wide tarp.
- Oh, my God.
- What is that? It's a piece from the Mayberry estate that I bid on and lost to Skip Zakarian.
Skip Zakarian sent that to you? - Yes.
- Oh, my God, I love Skip.
Do you know that I went to the Bahamas with him once for Thanksgiving? That's really weird, isn't it? Yeah, steel drums and turkey on the beach.
Not exactly what the Pilgrims had in mind, that's for sure.
No, I mean, should I accept it? Yes! Yes, Frances.
Are you kidding me? He's obviously flirting with you.
- He's so dashing.
- I don't know about that.
You're not going steady with Andrew, are you? No, Patty Duke, I don't I don't think I am.
Well, what you need to do, Frances, is write your new friend Skip a little thank-you note and stay on his good side.
I mean, it can only help the gallery for you to be on his radar.
God, it's beautiful, isn't it? (SIGHS) It is.
- (MUSIC PLAYING) - I mean, that Pelts was the only reason we've had any foot traffic in that gallery since we opened.
Plain and simple.
This one got a nice write-up in "Food & Wine.
" Oh, please, who are they kidding? Nonalcoholic wines are bullshit.
Let's get out of here, honey.
Okay.
Good.
I just gotta grab one more thing.
- I'll meet you up front.
- Okay, don't take too long.
Frances? Oh.
- JACKIE: Oh, my God.
- (LAUGHS) Did you just think I was Frances? Yes, I did, but these glasses I these are shitty glasses.
- They don't they don't work.
- It's okay.
I actually take it as a compliment.
- ROBERT: Hey, Nick.
- Hey.
It's like rush hour in here.
I don't know if these are any good.
You have many strengths, but choosing wine is not one of them.
I'll be right back.
(SIGHS) - What? - Man, do you have a type.
- Excuse me? - You like your women blond and strong.
No shrinking violets for you.
You talking Jackie and Frances? Oh, come on.
They don't have anything in common.
They're practically different species.
There's nothing wrong with having a type.
Diane and Carolyn are both big talkers.
They could play each other's body doubles.
Well, Carolyn's hips are wider 'cause of the kids, you know.
Nick, I don't see any resemblance, physical or otherwise.
Okay.
Hey, maybe it's just me.
- Okay.
- Ready when you are.
You know what? I think I'm still gonna get the ones that I liked.
Later, Nick.
Good to see you.
ROBERT: Hey, here's the plan.
So, we stop at the gallery.
One drink.
Avoid talking to anybody, and then we'll go have supper at Rancho Grande.
Sold.
Oh, and just to get things started on our company, I talked to my lawyer.
She's going to work on an agreement.
Wait, whoa.
You talked to your lawyer? Why wasn't I on that call? Because it's all just boilerplate.
Yeah, "boilerplate" is code speak for "you're gonna get fucked.
" I'll get my own lawyer, thanks.
Why? That's a complete waste of money.
Because I have to protect myself.
From what? This isn't your divorce, Robbie.
It's a real estate deal.
Yeah, and the deal's not gonna work if you and your lawyer are calling all the shots.
Since when am I calling all the shots? Hey, what's going on with you? Just trying to be smart.
Just trying to stay ahead of it, Jackie, okay? Like I always say, "You can't be too careful.
" You've never said that.
- (MUSIC PLAYING) - (CHATTER) Hey, before I lose you to the masses stay right here.
This was, um this was owned by Astrid Mayberry.
It's a very long story, but I thought you would love it.
- Frances, no way.
- Yes way.
It's gorgeous.
I'm an asshole.
I have nothing for you.
Are you kidding me? Look around.
You you have given me more than you will ever know.
- (GROANS) - (LAUGHS) Thank you.
Okay, go.
Go, go, go.
- Don't do that.
Go.
- (LAUGHS) Oh, God, I'm so nervous.
I'm so nervous, I don't know if I should, like, just drink massive amounts or none at all.
Listen, that prick from the auction, he's here.
- Really? - Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! This time you gotta introduce me.
Okay.
Hello, welcome! - (LAUGHS) Welcome.
- Hi.
I don't know if your presence does that mean it was, like, the shortest board meeting in Whitney history? - It means I played hooky.
- Oh, shh.
- Well, lucky us.
- Andrew Wallace, hi.
- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
Andrew.
This is Andrew.
You must be enjoying that magnifying glass.
You win some, you lose some.
- Yeah.
- It's a charming place you have here.
Thank you, thank you.
And I'll introduce you to the artist.
I'm sure she would love to hear any pearls of wisdom that you would care to share with her.
Certainly.
I'll I'll take a look around.
(GROANS, RETCHES) "Pearls of wisdom"? Good Lord.
Do you ever just hate the sound of your own voice? I can't say that I do, actually.
Oh.
Well, then I guess it's just me.
Well, it's the belle of the ball.
- Hey, hey, you two.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Do you remember Andrew? - Good to see you again.
Nice to see you as well.
And might I add, clothes on, - zipper up, good look.
- Yes.
This is my girlfriend, Jackie.
- Hi.
Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Congratulations, Frances.
The work is stunning.
Oh, thank you, thank you.
It's been it's been a stressful couple of weeks.
- I mean, you know.
- And you have done great - Thank you.
You've been a - dealing with it.
We sold another house.
- FRANCES: Oh, wow! - It's what we do.
- Congratulations.
- Another one.
Thanks.
- Great news.
- FRANCES: Fantastic.
So, yay all around.
- (CHUCKLES) - Yay! - So, I think I'm ready for that drink.
- I am, too.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay, good talk.
FRANCES: Okay, bar's over here.
- Sold! - Love it.
Boom! I think you got a really good piece.
I don't know, but if you also want one of these - Yeah? Oh, one sec.
- It's quite a turnout.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah, thanks.
And again, thank you for the magnifying glass.
It was incredibly generous and very thoughtful.
Thank you for the thank-you note.
And thank you for making the trip all the way up here.
You're welcome, but if you want to see me again, - you'll have to come into the city.
- Duly noted.
Can I take you out for dinner sometime? They have some wonderful restaurants in New York now.
(BOTH LAUGHING) Well, uh, thank you.
Thank you.
It's a very lovely invitation, but I would I would feel impolite accepting when I'm I'm here with someone else.
Oh.
That Andrew fellow? Wow.
Too bad.
Good luck.
Ay.
Oh, hey.
Uh, I've been floating around all night.
- I don't want you to feel neglected.
- Don't worry about it.
- Do your thing.
- Okay.
Just looking for oh, there she is.
- Hello.
Hi.
- We just sold Lucius.
- What? - Mm-hmm.
- (GIGGLING) - DIANE: Ugh.
Get a room.
Why did I even bother showing up tonight? - I'm a vapor.
- That's it.
I've had it.
- (CLINKING) - Nick, what are you doing? - WOMAN: Shh, shh, shh.
- DIANE: Nick! (CLINKING CONTINUES) Hi, everyone.
Nick Clavowen, friend of the gallery.
I I know Frances and Sylvia are grateful to all of you for coming out tonight.
- (ALL CHUCKLING) - I just wanted to mention one other person she doesn't like to grab the spotlight who was indispensable to tonight's proceedings my wife, Diane Clavowen.
- CROWD: Aw! - (APPLAUSE) - (LAUGHS) - Without Diane this masterpiece (CROWD GASPING) by Eliot Pelts would never have been loaned to the gallery.
Man, it looks like a toilet monster.
Sadly, after tonight, the Pelts will be leaving for another home.
- Huh? - Ours.
- What? - Purchased from Brett Morris.
Just a little surprise from me to you.
One more way to say, "I love you, Diane.
" - ALL: Aw.
- (APPLAUSE) Nick.
- Halle-fucking-lujah.
- Yeah, this is a win-win.
You should be crying and thanking him, too.
(LAUGHING) Ted? Oh, my God, hi.
(CHUCKLES) Didn't recognize you without your visor.
- What are you doing here? - This is my best friend's gallery.
- Oh.
- You? I was having dinner two doors down and saw the free wine was happening, so Hey, they were out of the shrimp, so Melinda, this is Dallas from tennis that I was telling you about.
Oh, yes.
Hi.
- How are you? - I'm good, good.
How do you two know each other? - Well - Uh, funny story.
Melinda is my soon-to-be ex-wife.
Ooh, I like that.
- I'm gonna steal that.
- (CHUCKLES) - I'm sorry, what? - The the red tape from our divorce is literally lasting longer than the actual marriage.
Yeah, let's just say we work better as friends.
(LAUGHS) Well, I'm gonna grab another drink.
- Does anyone need anything? - I'm good.
- I'm good, thank you.
- Okay.
(CHUCKLES) - That looks like a good drink.
- Oh, it is.
I would have ordered you one, except I thought you'd wanna represent your own drink choice.
So that's how it's gonna be? It's not just that I'm old enough to be your mother - No, you're not.
- No, you're right, I'm not.
That was a test, but, um I'm a therapist who treats a lot of people who are separated and really conflicted.
It's because people like me and Melinda who aren't conflicted don't go into therapy.
Look, I know it's weird that we're still friends, but it's completely platonic.
So, what I'm hearing is you've never been in therapy.
- What? - "What"? Yeah.
You're obviously upset.
So, what, you're just you're gonna fester for some period of time and then a week from now bite my head off, and all of it because I wanna get a lawyer.
Dude, I will bite your head off right now.
I don't care that you want a lawyer.
Hire a whole team.
Go nuts.
Well, what is your fucking problem? You're the one with a problem.
You're picking a fight, and none of this is about me.
It's about Frances.
So, why don't you call me when you wanna fight with me? - (CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) - So I'm walking home? (ANDREW CLEARS THROAT) - Hey.
- Hey.
Why don't we call it a night and go celebrate at your place? - Robert's got the kids tonight, right? - Uh, no.
I mean, um, they're spending the night at a friend's house, but you go.
You go.
Save yourself.
I'll, um we'll check in tomorrow, okay? Uh, what's going on? Did I do something wrong? No, that's not not it.
Uh, I'm just not sure that, um that this is such a good idea.
Oh.
Well, there's a curveball.
Can I ask why? Well and I this is silly, I know, but earlier tonight, somebody asked me out, and I'll be honest, I was tempted.
And I know that we're not serious or even exclusive, but I I felt guilty, which you know, I know it's crazy.
I get it.
I never should've told you about my ex's affair.
No.
No, I I really, I appreciated your honesty.
What I couldn't admit is that I was actually the unfaithful one in my marriage.
I'm not proud.
Well, you lied to me about that.
Well, yes, I I guess yes.
It it was a lie by omission.
No, it was a lie.
You lied.
And you cheated, apparently.
I'm I'm trying to be honest.
I didn't even have to bring this up.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Listen, maybe this is for the best.
I mean, you said it yourself the night we met.
It's too soon for me to be getting involved.
Yeah, no, I remember.
I think my exact words were you were a walking disaster, so Maybe I should take comfort in the fact that my instincts were right.
You have every right to be mad, but you - you don't have to, like, attack - Do I have a right to be mad? Thanks, Frances.
Thanks, that's really generous of you.
Wow.
Wow, uh I don't really know how else to say this, but you're the walking disaster, not me.
You got the walking part right.
(TV PLAYING) (CHIMES) (CLICKING) - Frances.
- (GASPS) Hey.
Oh, I'm so glad you thought to do this.
- We have to celebrate.
- I know.
What a night, right? - Yeah.
Excuse me, sir? - Yes? Can we get, um can we get two glasses of champagne, please? - Sure.
- Thank you.
I don't know about you, I'm not typically a day drinker.
However, I think we've earned it.
- We have.
- Hi! (BOTH LAUGHING) Hey.
What are you doing? I'm burying this fucking raccoon.
Been stinking up my truck for the last three days.
I can't do it at my apartment.
It's a rental.
Probably violate the health code.
(GRUNTS) - (SIGHS) - Get right in there.
That's good.
I gotta say no one has ever buried a dead body for me before.
Yeah, it's a first for me, too.
- FRANCES: Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
Here you go, sir.
Oh, no, I wanted to treat you.
No, don't be silly.
I'm very happy to.
- Okay, well, thank you.
- You're very welcome.
Actually there's one more thing.
Oh, okay.
God, I just got nervous.
No, don't be.
Okay, so, Skip Zakarian has offered me you know Skip Zakarian? - Of course.
- He wants to rep me.
Like, exclusively.
Starting with a big-ass SoHo show at his gallery here in the city.
I know, it's crazy.
I'm freaking out.
(EXHALES) What? Say something.
And, um and you have have you you've accepted his offer? Well, yeah, sure.
(STUTTERS) You understand this means that we won't be working together anymore.
- You and I.
- I know, it sucks, but - But? - This is a really big deal.
I thought you'd be happy for me.
No, I am, I am.
I'm just also stunned, you know? Because I I mean, I know we didn't have um, we didn't have a formal agreement, but, um, I did think that we had an understanding.
You know, I mean, we've been talking about your next show.
We have we have been talking about your future.
And now and now you I what? You didn't even have the decency to tell me that you were having this conversation with Skip so that I could at least, like, try to compete for you.
You weren't even finishing your paintings when I met you.
Yeah, but then I finished them.
Yes, and I scraped this show together with spit and blood.
We sold every single piece.
That's, like, just - That's unheard of.
- Yeah, you're right.
If it weren't for you, I'd still be at the bank.
But get real.
If you were in my shoes, you'd do the same thing.
Really, get real? You get real.
You waited the whole meal to give me this bit of information because you knew it was going to be awful.
Okay, but it doesn't have to be.
It's not personal, Frances.
It's not personal? Okay, you know what? I don't need the guilt trip.
Thanks for everything.
I'm done here.
Here.
Keep this for yourself.
(MUSIC PLAYING) I beg your pardon