Doc Martin (2004) s09e02 Episode Script

The Shock of the New

Oh, morning, Steph.
I just need a signature on this one.
- Oh.
- It looks quite official.
These are for you.
This one looks important.
I just had to sign for it, open it first, it could be Doctor Hedden's recommendation.
- Yes, it is.
- Well? - Oh, for - What? They want me to do three refresher courses, starting with phlebotomy, it's ridiculous.
Oh, well, I suppose that's good, to brush up on your skills.
I don't need to brush up my skills, thank you.
Have you set a date yet? I need to let the family know, you must have some idea.
Are you going to help me or what? I am helping you, weddings take a lot of planning, boy.
HE SIGHS Can't we just change the subject, please, Dad? Ah, good to see you two working so hard.
- Miles, what are you doing here? - I'm back, obviously.
So what happened to Spain? Ah, you know, it's time for a fresh start.
I would have let you know, but it's all been a bit of whirlwind.
- There is a woman involved then.
- Very sharp, Al.
Shirley, met her online.
She's got a farm on the way to Truro.
I think she could be the one.
So what is it you're after then? Oh, come on, now, can't your favourite cousin - stop by and say hello? - Miles.
We've been making goats ice cream.
And I'm offering you an exclusive deal.
Sorry, did you say goats? Shirley's got a bunch of goats on her farm and I've been making ice cream from their milk.
It's all the rage in London.
So How many boxes can I do you for? I'll pass.
Bert, this could be big.
And if anyone can sell it, it's you.
You know, I've always admired your genius That was a bit too much, wasn't it? Way too much, what's this about then? Well, sales could always do with a boost and seeing as your family and Well, I'd appreciate it.
Right, 50% discount, trial run of 20 tubs, sale or return.
Oh, you're killing me, but all right.
Miles! Oh, Shirley, this is my cousin, Bert, and his son, Al, and they've agreed to sell our ice cream in their pub.
Oh, Des, brilliant.
Well done.
It was nothing, really.
It's another sale, you stop being so modest.
Oh, yes, I've always admired his genius.
Yeah, shouldn't we be getting to your appointment? Oh! Oh, lovely to meet you.
Well, I suppose we ought to try this.
Yeah, I suppose so.
- HE SNIFFS - Oh, you first.
Hello there.
That you don't miss this.
Oh, I miss some of it.
- Oi! - Not that.
- How's it going with the new head? - Morna? She's here somewhere.
Over there.
She's from Delabole, she's interesting, got a lot of plans, fresh broom and all that.
Of course, if I'd been head, I'd have kept things as they were, but what we want and what we get aren't the same things now, are they? - Luke! - Morning.
High five.
Go on in, then.
- Go on, in you come.
- Bye, James.
Mel, I was thinking it might be nice to arrange a play date, for James and some of his friends.
His friends, right, yes.
So, is there anyone who gets along with in particular or? - No, not really.
- So is it more of a group of friends? More that he doesn't get along with anyone.
He's probably going through a socially-awkward phase.
I'm sure it's nothing to worry about.
Come on, then.
Morwenna, we'll need to close the surgery on Thursday afternoon.
- How come? - I have to attend a course.
Oh, snap, I went to one last night.
My first first-aid responder session.
I actually had a few questions about CPR and when you started.
CPR is instigated when a victim of collapse is neither breathing nor has a heartbeat.
First, finds the carotid pulse.
If you are unable to palpate the carotid pulse, then find the apex beat and instantly start cardiac massage.
Honour - Topp.
What's the topic? Oppositional Defiant Disorder, - it's a childhood behavioural problem.
- Uh-huh.
You know, Mel was saying that James is struggling a little to make friends.
Perhaps he's just been selective.
I am a bit concerned.
He doesn't have Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
No, I'm not suggesting he does.
But I can't help feeling that something's not quite right.
You know, you're studying child development, perhaps you're starting to see patterns where none exist.
- Are you saying I'm wrong? - No.
No, I'm saying that's very common, certainly amongst medical students for them to start diagnosing themselves and all around them with every illness and ailment under the sun.
A little learning can be - Are you OK? - DOG BARKS Can we keep that dog out of here? I was just about to take him for a walk.
I could do with a break.
I have some medical supplies at Mrs Tishell's, could you pick them up, please? - Yeah, no problem.
Come on, Buddy.
- Thank you.
Louisa, James is going to be fine.
Come on.
Missing the old place? No, I'm just walking Buddy.
It must be tough, not being a teacher any more after all those years.
Well, you know, I've got new things going on in my life, - so it's actually quite exciting.
- Sure, sure.
It's just, if it ever they took my uniform away, I don't know what I do.
I'd be totally lost.
Huge identity crisis.
In fact you'd probably find me hanging around outside the police station.
Yeah, well, I'm not you, Joe.
No, you're just walking the dog.
I understand.
- How long has it been like this? - About a week.
- Do you work with animals? - Goats.
We make ice cream from the milk.
They're amazing animals.
They are They are far smarter than people think.
This one goat, Phillip, I swear he got it in for me.
He's just a little jealous, silly.
Do you wear gloves when working with the goat's milk? Er, no, I wash my hands thoroughly before and after though.
You dry them properly? If they're damp, they can allow bacteria to breed.
This is a whitlow, it is an infection of the nail fold, caused by staphylococcus bacteria.
I write you a prescription for a course of antibiotics, but in the meantime, wear gloves to protect your hand and keep it dry.
We'll pick up some gloves on the way back, then.
Sit down, stop scratching.
You've got a rash.
Yeah, I know, it's been there a few days.
Sycosis vulgaris, it's an infection of the beard area.
Sorry, his his beard is infected? Is that even possible? No, it's not the beard, it's the skin underneath.
It's a deep infection of the hair follicles, often by the Staphylococcus aureus bacteria.
There's a chance that you've been infecting one another and the swab results will confirm.
Is there much physical contact in your relationship? - Oh, yes.
- He's worse than a goat, this one is.
Right, get some antiseptic cream from the pharmacy and shave your beard off.
If I shave my beard, though, everyone will see the rash all over my face.
It's not very nice.
You look run down, how's your diet? How much sleep you getting? I eat when I can, sleep about five hours a night, there's a lot of work to do on the farm.
You should take more care of yourself.
Come back in the morning for the results of your swab test.
Ah, well, that's very well.
Hello, excuse me! Hi! Well, yes, of course, I just Erm Yes, sorry, I'm just gonna I'm gonna call you back, just one sec.
- Sorry, can I help you? - You're the new head, aren't you? Lorna Argyll, yes.
Sorry, you are? Louisa Ellingham, your predecessor.
Oh, right! Hello! I've I've heard about you, obviously, but I thought maybe we could grab a coffee sometime, do a proper handover? Yes, yes, we should definitely do that.
Yeah, yeah.
- PHONE RINGS - That's a great idea.
Sorry, busy, busy.
Oh, God, no, that certainly needs to change.
Oh, you're not The thing is, I need you to listen to me about this.
So maybe sometime this week then? Yeah? Maybe? If you can't do it yourself, then I will do it.
- Hello! - Oh, Louisa.
Morning, Ruth.
Isn't it college day? Yeah, how would you know that? Well, you probably mentioned it before.
Well, actually, we're doing it over Skype today, so - I don't know what that is.
- Erm Well, it's sort of a phone call, but on on video.
Oh, oh, I see, right.
Oh, I thought you were doing a proper college course.
I'd just like to pick up Martin's medical supplies, - please, Mrs Tishell.
- Any word yet? Erm, a letter arrived today.
Erm, and they want Martin to do some training courses.
I imagine that went down well.
Oh, you're the large cousin, been in Spain.
Very good, Miles Green.
See you still got the neck Yeah, you should see the doc about that.
How can I help you? A prescription for me and antiseptic cream for Miles, thank you.
Nothing like a warm welcome home.
Well, obviously, he's not happy about it.
I don't blame him.
He's going to comply though, isn't he? Well, he says he is.
I'm sure everything will be fine.
Yes, it's just training courses.
Just needs to grit his teeth and get on with it.
Yeah, no problem.
- Maybe I should have a word with him.
- Just in case.
Good idea.
You had an appointment two days ago, why didn't you come? It's been a busy time.
The school want me to have a pre-employment medical.
- It's just a formality, really.
- Mm, I know.
Well, your blood pressure's fine.
Great, you can sign off on the insurance certificate, then.
Your pulse rate's high, 170.
Oh, sorry, what are you doing? I'm checking your thyroid to see why your pulse rate's so high.
I'll need to do a blood test.
- Well, that's not part of the medical.
- Yes, it is.
I think there's been some sort of misunderstanding.
I don't want an actual full-blown check-up, just check the eyes, the ears, pat on the head and off you go.
I need to rule out any thyroid concerns.
- Come back tomorrow for your blood results.
- I'm very busy.
Nevertheless, I won't sign off on your insurance certificate unless you come back for your blood results tomorrow.
The reported figures for Oppositional Defiant Disorder are between 1 and 16% of children in the general population.
Sorry, when you stand on the whole nature versus nurture debate? Er, that's a fairly broad topic.
OK, well, erm, say there's a child and one of his, or her, parents is, erm, outgoing and empathetic and things.
And the other has less clearly-defined social skills.
If that child takes after one parent, so the less socially-skilled one, do you think that's a genetic code that's hard-wired into him, or her, or could the right behavioural adjustments create a more compassionate child - Sorry, subject? - Uh, that's quite a question.
So, if you, say, forced the child to have some play dates with other children, it might just teach him how to socialise better? Sorry, Louisa, is this in reference to Oppositional Defiant Disorder? Yeah.
It's an interesting angle.
I suppose, yes.
The question is whether it would have a positive or negative effect.
So you're saying that could make him worse? Yes, look, why don't we come back to this in Truro next week and we could focus back on the topic in hand.
Yeah, yeah, of course, it can wait.
It's just a query.
That's all.
So, ODD Hello, Martin, have you got a moment? Is anything wrong? It's a social visit.
Oh, I see.
Right, hello.
Also, I heard that you got your instructions from the GMC.
Oh, I see, so you're checking up on me.
More or less.
What are they asking you to do? Oh, they want me to attend three courses.
I have to assist at a surgical procedure, run a mock surgery and attend a phlebotomy course that's on Thursday at Truro.
You are going to attend, aren't you? Well, they haven't given me much choice.
You'll be drawing blood in front of a room full of people.
Have you thought about how you're going to deal with your haemophobia? Yes, of course I have.
There are desensitisation exercises, you know? I'd be happy to run through them with you.
Why are you washing your hands again? Er Erm I'm not.
Anyway, thank you for your concern, it's really not necessary.
If you'll forgive me, I have patience to see.
Morwenna! I'll have the steak and kidney pie.
There's a special on desserts.
I wouldn't say no, what have you got? - Goat ice cream, it's very popular.
- No.
Oi, nobody wants it.
As soon as you put the word goat with ice cream, it's a no sale.
I told you not to go into business with Miles.
He was always meant to be the most successful one in the family.
Yeah, now his successes are taking up room in our freezer that we can't afford.
Don't worry, your barmaid's arrived.
Hey, I put up a new ad today for the job.
Fingers crossed someone bites.
Right, so if we're not doing May, when are you thinking then? - For what? - The wedding.
Oh, erm, I don't know, I haven't really thought about it.
Of course not.
But, well, maybe I could help you with that CPR thing, you know, training? I could test you, or whatever.
It's quite a commitment, are you sure you'll have the time? - Oh, come on, Morwenna.
- Shall we have that discussion? - What discussion, Joe? - About the best man position? Officially confirming me in the role.
Well, I hadn't really thought about it, mate.
Oh, that's a surprise.
Al, this isn't like the proposal, you gotta think about these things.
What you mean by that? No, it's just Al's proposal was Al's proposal was what? Well, it's nothing.
It didn't sound like nothing.
It's just It's just Joe being Joe.
That's right, it's just me being me.
- Yeah.
- Good old Joe being Joe.
You did mean it, right? The proposal.
Morwenna, why would you say that? Well, it's just It seemed to come as a bit of a surprise to you, as well, and If you've made a mistake, now is the time to back out.
Before it all goes too far.
No, no, of course I meant it.
OK? Maybe we could organise a play date.
How about with Colin Towns? - You like him, don't you? - No, thank you.
Yes, you do.
What about with Miles? No, thank you.
Tell you what, why don't you pick someone and tell me who you'd like to have a play date with? No, thank you.
It's school time, you should be going on now.
Come on, here we go.
Bye-bye! Bye! - Morning! - Morning.
- You missing us yet? - Well, of course.
But not on sailing days, I don't miss that.
- Oh, that all stopped.
- Really? Why's that? - Well, Lorna got rid of it.
- She can't just get rid of it.
It's a key part of their week.
No-one hated it more than me, but I still had to do it.
She's changed your office and schedules.
- She's done her own timetables.
- What? - Well, can I see the new one? - Oh, no, that's classified.
We're not allowed to share it with parents.
Pippa! - Pippa, you got a minute? - Coming! Out of my hands.
Well, you'll be pleased to learn that we can rule out thyrotoxicosis.
Thyrotoxicosis is? An excess of the thyroid hormone.
You were displaying symptoms of someone with an overactive thyroid.
- But the test is negative.
- Well, that's good then.
Well, as far as thyrotoxicosis goes.
But your pulse rate is still high.
- Have you lost any weight recently? - A little, yes.
I've been in training for a half marathon.
I'd like to run an ECG.
An ECG? I just need you to sign off on the insurance certificate.
Yes, I'm aware of that, but you have an abnormally high heart rate, and I need to take that seriously because I'm a doctor.
- What you mean seriously? - What you mean, "What do you mean?" You are a seemingly fit, healthy young woman with an abnormally high heart rate.
An ECG may well indicate what's causing that, until I've investigated it, I won't sign off on anything.
No, I need to get back to meetings today.
Right, make another appointment.
Next patient! I need an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.
Oh, we're closed tomorrow afternoon.
I can give you Friday at nine? If that's the best you can do, yes.
Oh, hello again.
- Ellingham.
- Oh, of course, yes.
- Good to see you again.
- Um, sorry, it's just I hear you've been making lots of changes at the school.
And I'd love to be able to schedule that handover meeting we discussed.
Yes, we should definitely do that.
Sorry, I've got to dash back to work.
- You know how it is.
- Mm-hm.
Miles, this ice cream might be all the rage in London, but my customers just aren't going for it.
It's only been a day.
It's already running joke in the pub, they're calling the place The Goat And Lobster.
I'm sorry, Miles, but small villages, small palates.
Here, was this on your face? Oh, cream.
I got a rash.
- Nasty.
- It'll be fine.
This is what you swapped Spain for? Oh, it's better than it looks.
So what actually happened over there? I heard you were setting up a gardening business.
Yeah, didn't quite work out.
Tried a lot of things out there, but just couldn't get a break.
- Oh, I know the feeling with that one.
- Mm.
Thought my luck was never gonna change.
It was when I met Shirley and, erm Well, maybe I exaggerated how successful I was in business.
- Ah, come on, I'd better get this back in the freezers.
- OK.
GOAT BLEATS No, Phillip, you're already fed.
No, back off.
It's her prize goat, swear he's got it in for me.
No, Phillip.
Go! Phillip! Phillip! - He's jealous of our happiness! Aren't you, bad goat? - Here! - HE PANTS - Here, Miles, are you all right? No, I'm not.
I'm out of shape, face like a pizza.
I love Shirley, I don't want to lose her.
Let's get you inside, come on.
Mil Miles, are you OK? It's that bloody goat again.
He's just jealous.
He knows what we get up to.
We are very compatible, physically.
I didn't really need to know that.
Oh, er You're returning the ice cream? It wasn't for us.
I'm sorry, but I'm sure there'll be lots of people that like it.
No, they already do.
Go on, tell him, Miles.
Well, I've rung round a few people and we definitely got some orders.
I just didn't want your expectations to get too high.
- So how many orders have we got? - Don't worry about it.
- Well, I am a little worried now.
- It's an acquired taste.
You said you contacted people.
I did, they just didn't want it.
So how many orders have we got? Well none.
But don't worry, I'll turn this around.
When were you planning on telling me this? - I was protecting you! - No, you do not put that on me.
You were protecting yourself.
You lied to me, how could you? I'm sure she didn't mean it, Miles, you got to take it easy.
You're no help, Bert.
One bloody case, that's all I asked.
Go on.
Where is James? Up in his room, playing on his own.
He's actually on one side and all his teddy bears are on the other.
There was an article in here I think you might find interesting.
- Child Psychology Now.
- Yes, it's a well-known journal.
Hm, I've never heard of it.
- They've spelt projectile wrong.
- Yes, it's a misprint.
Maybe you could just focus on the content, rather than the form.
It's about only-child syndrome.
Well, it's opinion.
It's not an actual clinical diagnosis.
Well, it states that in the majority of cases, those with brothers or sisters assimilate better with their peers, than those without.
From a very small study group, it's not conclusive.
You know, I see James in the playground.
And all the other children they're playing together and James is always on the outside, he's always isolated.
And, yes, he might be a little shy, but this does seem to fit.
You were an only child.
Well, yeah.
Does this diagnosis fit with how you see your childhood? No.
Didn't you used to feel a little bit lonely as a child? - I know I did.
- No.
I used to have imaginary friends, Big Sue and Sarah.
- Really? - Mm.
- Didn't you have any? - No.
I should check on James.
DOG BARKS Morning.
You OK? You been really quiet since yesterday.
- Have I? - Yeah.
Why don't we have a nice dinner tonight or something? I'll cook.
And we can talk about the wedding and I could help you with this, you know, CPR training.
You don't have to, not if you don't want to.
- No, I do.
- Besides, I know how this goes, we make plans and then you say how you're busy with work.
Well, I won't be.
- Have you found new staff? - Not yet.
So how are you going to take the evening off? - I'll find someone.
- By tonight? Morwenna, I will.
All right.
See you later.
Has your friend shaved his beard off? No, of course not.
No, that would mean doing something the smart way.
Instead, he's just put cream all over it.
The cream won't be effective unless he shaves.
I got your test results back and as I suspected, you both have a staphylococcal infection.
You are infecting him every time you touch him with your finger and he in turn is re-infecting you with his beard.
So, what? We both have that staphylococcal bacteria thing, but only he's got the Sycosis vulgaris, yes.
You are constantly reinfecting one another with a bacterial infection and that has got to stop.
- Yeah, well, that won't be a problem.
- Good.
Leave the dressing off, let the air get to it, wear gloves for protection.
Finish the course of antibiotics and tell, erm, what's-his-name to come in to the surgery and pick up a prescription.
Next patient! - Morning.
- What? You're bright and cheery.
Erm, Dad, can you look after the pub tonight? Not on my own, no.
Oh, please, I need to fix things with Morwenna.
- Why, what have you done now? - Well, it's complicated.
I hear there's a position available.
- What, you want to work here? - I do, yes.
I'm at a little bit of a loose end in the evenings.
Maybe you should join a club or society.
I've been hearing the book club's very popular.
Oh, for my sins, I find work is the best kind of relaxation.
Here is my CV, with numerous references.
A lot of them are from napkin companies, due to me having stakes in the serviette industry.
Well, I'll need to think about it.
I've thought about it, you're hired.
Can you start tonight? Of course.
Oh, won't this be great, Bert? The two of us, working together, side-by-side again! Super! That was your last patient, you're all good to go to Truro.
Oh, before you go, am I meant to practice CPR on a dummy or a real person? Either will do, it doesn't matter.
Portwenn Surgery.
Er, yeah, OK.
Slow down.
Doc, it's Mrs Knott, it sounds urgent.
Yes? Doc? Doc, I just come home and I found Miles, he's just lying here.
He's struggling for breath, I can't even get him to stand up.
Any other symptoms? Yeah, he said he had a tingling in his legs, I think he's getting worse.
What's their address? Pendennick Farm, it's on your way to the hospital.
Fine, I'll be about 20 minutes.
- What's her name? - Shirley.
- Good luck with the course.
- Yes.
OK, yeah, he's on his way.
- Where is he? - He's this way.
Quick now.
Oh, no, God, no.
That's Phillip, he's a bit territorial.
Well, keep it away from me.
Go on, off with you, go on.
Mr Er His pulse is racing.
You said he was complaining of a tingling sensation in his legs.
Pins and needles, yeah.
What is wrong with him? The swab test confirmed the sycosis vulgaris, but I'm worried, with the pins and needles, and the tightness of breath, that it's progressed to Guillain-Barre polyneuropathy.
- Guillain? - Barre.
It's very rare, very serious nerve condition.
Of course, he wouldn't be in this position - if he'd taken my advice and shaved his beard.
- Oh, God.
Well, there isn't time to get an ambulance.
I'll drive him to the hospital.
Help me get up.
Is this all my fault? Well, no, the follicle infection acted as a trigger.
It depends on an individual's metabolism.
Normally, the immune system attacks any germs that get into the body.
But with people with Guillain-Barre, it mistakenly attacks and damages nerves.
I don't I don't really understand any of that.
It doesn't matter, lie him flat.
- Right, lay flat.
- OK.
You ride in the back here with him, - keep him still and hold that on his face.
- OK.
You pull the strap over his head.
Put Put the strap around his head, keep his airway unblocked.
Oh! Patient needs ventilating.
HE GROANS Right, have you got him? I'm here, Miles, I'm not going anywhere.
- Sorry.
- What? - I'm sorry.
- It doesn't matter about that now.
- Oh, God! - Stop talking.
So the course will take approximately three hours and will cover all aspects of the Doctor Ellingham.
Obviously, not a believer in punctuality.
- I have an emergency with a patient.
- Take a seat.
Right, we can begin.
Now, while you are very well-qualified people, you have nevertheless all been selected for varying reasons to go through this refresher course.
So however irritating or basic you might find this, I would like you to pay close attention to what we're doing.
Any questions? In that case, let's crack on.
Now, what do we mean by phlebotomy? The drawing of blood by means of a venepuncture.
Very good.
Doctor Ellingham, why don't you go first? What are you doing? Going to prepare the needle and the syringe.
No, no, you're not the doctor, you're the patient, it's a role-play.
Is that really necessary? It is important to understand both sides of the coin.
Doctor Khan, you seem to know what you're doing, why don't you come up here and work through the process of taking Doctor Ellingham's blood? Sit down.
Hi! Hi, Louisa.
See if you can get rid of those windows.
Can you knock them out, actually?.
Go ahead.
Right, can you make sure your sleeve is up? - Yes.
- You've forgotten the details.
- Sorry? - Doctor Martin Ellingham, 22 Manor Road, Portwenn, Cornwall, PL27 3GG.
Wait, you're THE Doctor Martin Ellingham? - From Imperial? The surgeon, right? - Yes.
You're a legend! I'm down from there on placement, I can't wait to tell them.
- How come you're doing a phlebotomy course? - Doctor Khan.
Erm Now, OK.
Woo! I'm going to place this tourniquet on you.
The sleeve isn't above the elbow.
I got it.
I'm going to place this tourniquet on you and see if I can find a vein.
I have had a few issues with that, hence why I'm here.
Once I have located a suitable vein, I will insert the needle and take the blood.
WHISPERS: Hopefully! OK, stop, before you do any of this, you have to calm the patient.
- I'm fine.
- He's fine.
- Calm the patient! - Do you feel calm? - Yes, of course I do.
- Right.
Erm Excellent.
I think we need to talk it through, Pippa.
VOICES APPROACH Is there such a thing as too much focus on pastoral? I'll make us a cup of tea.
This is a small village school, children don't have the same behavioural problems as they do in this city.
Why is there water all over my desk? Mrs Ellingham always believed that schooling should be rounded instead of aimed entirely at SATS results.
Well, isn't that exactly why the school isn't performing as well as it should be? Where is my timetable? I left it right here.
Never mind, I've got some spares in the cupboard.
SHE GASPS - Louisa? - It's not what it looks like.
Right, let's see.
The vein, now, where are you? Where are you? Two millimetres down.
Here we go.
PHONE RINGS - One moment.
- Doctor Ellingham! Louisa? Are you sure? - Right, I'm on my way.
- On your way? I have an emergency.
You're in the middle of a course.
- I'm a doctor.
- Doctor Ellingham! Legend! - Martin's on his way.
- Why were you hiding in her office? Hm? What? I wasn't, I was Well, I I came to say hello, nobody was here, so Pippa, do we really have to talk about this right now? Could you move your knee? OK.
Should you be doing that? You already made her faint once.
I'm here.
What are you doing? - I'm trying to help.
- It's Er Her heart's beating, she's breathing, - it's a cardiac event, not a cardiac arrest.
- Oh.
- Get some cold water.
- Right.
Oh! Oh! - What are you doing? - Wasn't that what you wanted? No! I need to stimulate the vagus nerve.
And try and get her heart beat back to normal.
Her pulse is raging.
She may have had a supraventricular tachycardia episode.
So does that mean she's got a heart condition? Yeah, her heart starts to race and then, very abruptly, slows down, or stops.
She was too busy and too annoying to let me give her an ECG.
Hello, you've had a super electrical attack.
- Can you hear me, Linda? - Lorna.
You were hiding in my cupboard.
No, no, I just popped by to say hello.
Oh, oh, Doctor, I wanted to say to you Stop talking and put the mask back on.
Make sure she keeps it on in the ambulance.
Is she going to be OK? Yes, she should be, they'll monitor her for 24 hours and she'll be off work for a few weeks.
- Were you really in her cupboard? - Yes.
I just wanted to see the school was in good hands.
By going in a cupboard? - This is all my fault, isn't it? - This? No, this would have happened sooner or later.
It's better that it happened sooner, when there were people around.
But I still don't understand why you were in a cupboard.
Well, I was just in her office and then I had her coming It just seemed like the best course of action at the time.
- Oh, I see.
- James! - James.
- James, hello.
How's your day been? Here, so how are we going to do this? Before we start, you need to answer a question and you need to be honest.
- Did you mean to propose to me? - Oh, Morwenna.
Yes, or no? Er Erm - No.
- Oh.
But I'm glad I did.
It's the best thing I've ever done.
But you didn't mean to do it? No.
I've I've wanted to for ages, but Then why are you acting like you don't want any part of it? I'm not, Morwenna, am? Am I? It's just that, erm You know, anything that's ever meant something to me, you know, I've I've ruined it.
You know, once, I went abroad to find my fortune and I ended up working in a bottle factory.
I ran a B&B right into the ground.
And then there's you.
And, you know, you're - You're super.
- I'm super.
I'm terrible at this, aren't I? I just said it and it came out and you said, "Yes.
" And it was brilliant.
But then I was like, "OK, so when am I going to mess this up?" No, Al A May wedding would be lovely.
You know, we get the sunshine.
I love you, you know that? All right, you can be quiet and pretend to die now.
OK, so so we're good? Well, you're dying and I am gonna to save you, so what do you think? I don't I don't know.
Right, OK, so, interlock fingers, knuckles up.
Erm, push down five or six centimetres.
- Right, one - Oh, God! - .
two - Morwenna, that's quite hard! - Three! Can you be quiet, please? I'm trying to concentrate.
- Sorry.
Keep a steady rhythm.
- One, two - Oh! - Oh, God, Al.
- Ow! Ow! Al? You all right? HE GROANS AND GASPS AL GROANS You could have cracked a rib.
There's nothing I can do for you.
If the pain gets unbearable, take 400 mg of your favourite anti-inflammatory twice a day.
I was just doing what it said in the book.
No, it's probably my fault, weak ribs.
No, I screwed up.
You have to look at the collapsed person and assess the correct weight to use.
That, and work remember the rhythm of that song.
What song? Staying Alive by the Bee Gees.
I didn't know you were a fan, doc.
- I'm not.
- Should I sing it out loud? No, thank you, not now.
Well, I suppose we got our wedding song then.
- Oh! - Sorry.
What song? How's Al? Cracked rib.
Oh, I didn't get to ask before, how did the phlebotomy course go? Erm, I don't know, I didn't really finish it.
Why not? Because you were hiding in a cupboard.
Oh, sorry about that.
That's all right, I wasn't really enjoying it.
You know, I've been thinking about what we discussed, about now being the best time to have a baby.
Well, if we wanted one.
Is this because of only-child syndrome? Well, I thought it was, but the more I thought about it, I realised, I just think it's a good idea.
For us and for James.
So I just wanted to say thank you.
You were right about Miles.
You know, he had that, erm, Guillain-Barre poly thing.
And they said that if it hadn't been for you, then he'd have been goner.
- Good.
- Erm, I have some ice cream.
My way of saying thank you.
It's really not necessary, thank you, good night.
Yes? Another child.
Yes, as in we should discuss it more, or? No, yes as in yes.
May I interest you in signing Doctor Ellingham's birthday card? Most of these say, "Happy birthday, tosser.
" - If left untreated, it can be fatal.
- I need to sit down.
You are sitting down.
What's in your pocket? He's a finch.
- Planning an early night then? - No, you're not ovulating.