Doogie Howser, M.D. (1989) s01e06 Episode Script

Simply Irresistible

You are the sunshine of my life Bring him in here.
That's why I'll always be around Okay Let's take a look.
You are the-- What do we have? Multiple lacerations of the distant forearm and hand.
Mr Wonder here is being doing a little crack.
He put his arm through a plate-glass window down in Venice.
I'll just get him back.
--like this is the beginning Easy pal, we're just gonna look at your arm.
You know, I'm a big fan of yours.
When we think this hospital is charging a fortune, the least they can do is getting you air conditioning.
Tell me about this, it's the third time this month.
Why is it I'm always the one working when the air conditioning goes down? Just lucky I guess.
I thought you were off today? Farrell's called in sick this morning I've been here for the last 36 hours.
More light please.
I'll always be around Freeze! I'll kill him! I'll kill him! Put down the knife.
I'll get him.
Call security! You're okay? Yeah.
Fine.
You? Piece of cake.
Can't believe this, I showered two minutes ago and I'm drenched already! When are they gonna fix the damn AC? Hey Doug.
I just heard about what happened.
Unbelievable! You're okay? Yeah, I guess.
You've got a date? Uh-uh.
You know, maybe you oughta just go home.
Chill out.
No way, check it out.
Tickets to the Stones concert.
Sixteenth row, i've had them for three months.
Well i've got some good news and bad news.
What? I'm in a hurry.
Good news is, the concert was great.
What do you mean, was? That's the bad news.
It was last night.
Doogie Howser, M.
D.
- 1x06 - Simply Irresistible Hector Gonzales.
Age 13.
Brought to Eastman three days ago from Guatemala by the St Peter's Holy Cross mission.
Over the last six months, he had exhibited progressive motor deficits in the lower extremities, including loss of bladder and bowel function, eventually leading to total paralysis.
Dr Goring felt it unnecessary to do an MRI or any skin test for possible infection.
Yesterday he ordered a CAT scan.
And as I suspected, we clearly have a space occupying lesion in the left temporal lobe, with brain stem pressure.
It's straightforward.
A standard craniotomy.
I've scheduled surgery for tomorrow afternoon.
Any questions? Yes sir.
How could we be sure it's not an inflammatory mass? We never did a complete workup.
There was no time, Dr Howser.
This kid's condition is deteriorating rapidly.
Pictures tell the story.
That tumor comes out, or he's going to die.
'Morning.
Buenos dias Dr Howser.
Buenos dias Mr Gonzales.
How's everyone today? Fine, fine.
How are you feeling young man? How are you, Hector? So-so.
I brought something.
Baseball cards.
Thank you.
Doogie.
Who are these people? Hector's family.
They arrived yesterday.
What are they doing in hospital gowns? The social services said it would take two weeks to find them a place to stay they have no money, so I admitted them.
What are you, crazy? If Canfield finds out, he'll kill you.
He'll never know, they're on the computer under a bunch of aliases.
Come on Doogie, I've heard some pretty dumb ideas, but this is Who is that? Maria, Hector's sister.
She's incredible! Howser, you're a genius.
Thank you for the baseball card, doctor.
But Hector had many sores on his mouth.
Chewing gum is a problem.
Open your mouth.
Herpes encephalitis.
Come on Dr Howser, you're reaching.
A lot of people have herpes sores in their mouth and don't get encephalitis.
He had a fever since he got here, how do you account for that? The tumor's necrotic, the expansion's causing pressure just look at his eyegrounds.
Maybe.
But can you tell me you're absolutely sure? Dr Goring, all I'm asking is we hold off surgery for a day.
Look, I know our spinal tap is out, but if I do a cisterna magna tap then we'll know for sure.
I am sure, Doctor.
Come on! Look all my instincts tell me I'm right, but just to satisfy your curiosity go perform your test.
However, his surgery stays scheduled for tomorrow afternoon.
Now let's move on.
Excuse me.
Dr Howser? My name is Gareth Price and this is my partner, Dr Alan Brady.
Hi.
Nice to meet you.
We couldn't help but overhear your debate with Dr Goring.
We were very impressed.
We've heard a lot about you.
Alan and I own the Brentwood pediatric group, and we were wondering if we could take you to lunch today? Sure.
Great! Opie Taylor.
Laurie Partridge.
Thurston Howell, III.
I own a television, Doctor.
I can explain.
You made an unauthorized entry into the computer in total disregard of hospital procedure.
There was nowhere for them to go! We have social services to handle these matters.
And they handled it.
They told them to fill out the paperwork and wait.
Wait where? How about the waiting room? That's what they're there for.
I wish we could accommodate them Dr Howser but we're not running a hotel here.
Those beds are for people who need them.
Bottom line, you used bad judgment, and I'm growing very tired of it.
Is that all? Yes.
That's all.
It's a joke! Canfield's so caught up in hospital red tape he can't see what's important.
And if hadn't have been for Hector's family I might never have made that diagnosis.
You still could be wrong.
Uh-uh, if he's got a tumor I'll eat your name tag.
Come on, let it go guy you've just been out of shape because of the heat, we all are.
It's not just the heat, it's everything.
Someone I'm trying to save almost kills me, it worked 40 out of the last 48 hours, Wanda's not speaking to me cause I never showed up at the Stones concert, and I have to do a dance to get anyone to listen to me here! That's just the life of second year resident, you'd better just get used to it or just leave Why not? Who cares if I was gone? I'll talk to you later.
Hey Doogie! I just want you to know, I care.
Things wouldn't be the same without you.
Thanks, Jack.
I mean.
You're a great doctor, I think people should realize that.
What do you want, Jack? The kid's sister, Maria.
No way.
Come on! I've got to meet her, she's an angel! You know Spanish better than I, just tell her what a great guy I am, and that I'd be interested in taking her to dinner.
Muy interested? Forget it, Maria is a sweet innocent catholic girl, I know.
I wouldn't feed her to a shark like you.
Doogie! Jack, I got to go.
I'm gonna do this with or without your help.
Come on Doogie, please! Keith Richards was great.
And Jager's voice sounded as good as ever.
Too bad you missed it.
You're telling me.
Look If you ever need tickets for anything let us know.
The guy from Heathrow Records brings his kids to see us.
Right enough for the Rolling Stones, let me tell him why we ask him to lunch.
Doogie, stop me if I'm wrong, you work 24 hours shifts, you sleep on a cot, you shower with your beeper, and if you divide your pay by the number of hours you work, it barely tops minimum wage.
You got it! Do you have a girlfriend? I think so.
You just break another date? Yeah.
We've all been there.
Let me ask you something.
What if you go to work at a first-rate facility with minimum on-call time? A place that offered a pension and profit-sharing plan, second to none, and it covered all malpractise insurance.
Would you be interested? Sure.
But I still have another year to go on my residency.
Well, Doogie, Eastman is an outstanding teaching hospital and their residency program is top notch.
But we'll be straight with it, one of the reasons we want you now, is that you're one of a kind.
Sixteen year old and a pediatric practise is like gold! And if you want to become a cardiologist or whatever, in four years you would still be the youngest resident in the country! We're prepared to offer you With an option to become a full partner at the conclusion of that year.
Plus, of course, the use of our beach house in Malibu and six weeks vacation.
Did you get to go to Europe after college? I was ten.
Oh, right! Well, now you'll get a chance.
Look, we don't want to hard-sell you here we just want you to come see our place we think you'll like it.
Hi Dr Price.
Hi Dr Brady.
Hi Kelly.
Hello.
Who was that? Kelly, one of our nurses.
It's her day off.
She has a twin.
Dad, we're talking about a hundred grand! Plus the partnership after one year! This is not about the money, Douglas, it's about your education.
You have made a commitment to Eastman and I think you are better served keeping it.
But this is the chance for me to have a normal life! I may even get to see Wanda more than once a month.
You don't become a top position by taking shortcuts, young man.
This is not a shortcut! These are two well-respected doctors with a great practise.
Well if you ask me, Douglas, I think they've tendered this offer as a means of exploiting your age.
That's not true, they were totally upfront about that.
And that makes it better? I know what I'm getting myself into.
I'm not sure you do.
Look.
This choice is yours to make.
It is not legitimately a parental decision.
But, I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I'd be very disappointed if you accepted their offer.
Alright.
In other words, if I accept, you'll never forgive me, and if I don't accept I'll feel you bullied me.
So i'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Thanks a lot.
What did I say? Did I say no? I didn't say no.
To be honest with you I found a lot of validity in what he was saying.
Katherine But what would be so terrible about Doogie going into private practise? For one thing, he has a commitment to Eastman! He's also overworked, overstressed and exhausted all the time.
He's sixteen years old and he's burning out! My God, David, when he told us about being held at knifepoint, I had to fight off every impulse to stop him from going back there.
Alright.
I'm not gonna break his arm but I feel what I feel.
I'll talk with him.
Doogie? Son? Brandon? Here! Here! Brandon Tardycough? Air conditioning Hi Kelly.
No, I'm Katie.
Oh.
Hum I'm here to see doctors Brady and Price? Are you a new patient? Actually I'm Dr Howser.
Oh, right, I'm sorry.
Follow me! Dr Howser! Welcome! See you later.
Bye.
So you met Katie.
So, how do you like our place? It's great.
Hello doctor! Getting the tour? Yup.
Let's see, we have eight examination rooms, lab, X-ray, needle neddle and of course your own office.
Not a bad way to practise medecine, uh? Doctor, the Heigerer boy is refusing to take his allergy shot again.
Come on.
You can do it.
No! I'm sorry.
That's okay.
Do you mind? No, go ahead! Hum wait a minute, what's going on here? It's alright Mrs Heigerer, this is our colleague, Dr Howser.
Hi.
I'm Dr Howser, my friends call me Doogie.
What's your name? Bobby.
Bobby, I think you've lost this.
Cool! Have you ever played a videogame called Zelda, Bobby? You know when you get to the final door, and the princess is right inside, but all you have left is your silver arrow? Yeah? Well you're a little afraid, but you've got to decide, do you go back and get more hearts, or do you got forward with just your silver arrow? You go forward, you got to win the princess.
That's right! Well this is your silver arrow, Bobby.
If you're gonna win the princess, you've got to take the shot.
You understand? So what you're gonna do? Take a shot? Alright.
Just close your eyes.
That's it.
We did it! Bobby, I am so proud of you! Thank you.
Would you be here next time? I don't know.
Maybe.
Doogie, I have one piece of advice.
Real estate.
My brother just made a killing on his condo in Santa Monica.
Slow down, he hasn't even taken the job yet! Palalalala bamba! Balalalala la bamba! Save it McGuire! We don't wanna care it.
You went out with her, didn't you? Yeah I took her to dinner, it was nice.
Alright, sure Come on, I was a perfect gentleman! What? You don't think I can have an honest relationship? McGuire, your idea of an honest relationship is sleeping with the same species for an entire week-end.
You know, I'm insulted.
With Maria it's different, it doesn't matter that we don't speak the same language.
I didn't touch her.
Of course tonight I'm gonna touch her.
And I'm gonna let her touch me! You're a slimeball, McGuire.
This guy gets away with murder.
Dr Howser, please report to Dr Canfield's office.
Uh-oh.
Come in.
You wanted to see me? Yes.
Looks like you were right about the Gonzales boy.
Yes! I knew it! Congratulations doctor.
We started him on acyclovir this morning.
We'll know soon enough how he responsed to the medication.
You may have just saved that boy's life.
Hopefully, he'll walk again.
Douglas.
You'll have to forgive our sometimes inappropriate skepticism.
You have all the confidence in the world in your genius.
But for us, it's sometimes hard to forget you're just a boy.
I'm not asking for a preferential treatment, Dr Canfield.
And I'm not offering any, Dr Howser.
What I'm trying to say is we may occasionally step in it, but we hold you in very high regard.
Thanks.
FYI, I spoke with your father.
He told me you've been approached by the Brentwood pediatric group? Have you met with these people? Yeah I have.
Well then I suppose you're considering their offer? Actually I've pretty much made up my mind.
I'm going to accept.
If I may, I'd like to make one observation.
You have a mind like a sponge, Douglas.
You have the capacity to absorb more in a week than most of us do in a year.
A mind like yours needs to be challenged.
Eastman may not be the most luxurious place to work, but I guarantee you that the quality and complexity of what you'll learn here cannot be matched.
It's highly unlikely you'll come across Hector Gonzales at the Brentwood pediatric group.
So you're really leaving, uh? We're gonna miss you around here.
You're still not talking to me? Hey sport, look at it this way.
It's my duty to go out with Maria.
It's like a hanging curveball you've got to go deep.
Which one of you is McGuire? He is.
I'm going to kill you! Why? What? Wow, wait a minute.
What's going on? He penetrated my Maria.
He soiled her, the mother of my child! One hour, and he ruined her! You're dead! Dead? What's this about dead? He's Maria's fiancee, he said you soiled her! Man you're making a big mistake! We're just amigos! Doogie, tell him! I'm going to cut your heart out.
What, what did he say? Bad news Jackie, he wants to cut out your heart.
Please man, don't hurt me! I never touched her, I swear! I'm innocent! For God's sake, I'm a doctor! Hey Jack, meet Tony! He's the new orderly upstairs! Nice to meet you Jack.
Excellent.
Mr Gonzales, you wanted to see me? No.
Somebody bipped me.
Mr Gonzales, Dr Howser, could you all follow me please? Wait.
You set this up, didn't you? Who, me? It's pretty manipulative.
Alright let me get this straight, you passed up a hundred thousand simoleons, plus six weeks vacation, and a beach house with twins? Yeah, kinda.
You're sicker than I thought, Howser.
I mean, twins! Yeah well, some things are more important, Vinnie.
Like what? Like helping people who really need help.
My God.
My dad was right, money's not everything.
Since when have you listened to your old man? He's not always a reener.
Is Doogie home? Yeah.
And guess what dear, I am not always a reener.
Congratulations, David.
Katherine.
What's a reener? Sure I can't change your mind? I'm sure, Vin.
It's your life.
If you wanna miss out on the finer things be my guest.
I'm out of here.
Good night, Vinnie.
Twins! I'm never gonna sleep tonight!
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