Doom Patrol (2019) s01e02 Episode Script

Donkey Patrol

[MR.
NOBODY.]
This is a story about four couch potatoes and Oh, my God, I should be drinking for this.
This bag of ham is Cliff Steele, an egocentric racing champion who drove his family under a jackknifed trailer.
Yikes! Now his brain is all that's left housed inside this robot by this man, Niles Caulder.
[DIRECTOR.]
Action! [MR.
NOBODY.]
Rita Farr was a star of the silver screen.
Then a mysterious liquid changed her into a terrifying blob, - forcing her to hide from common society.
- [YELLING.]
Larry Trainor.
Hotshot pilot, perfect life, perfect wife, and a hidden secret.
Mix in cosmic radiation and the worst sunburn you've ever seen, and voila! An energy being living inside a man.
Finally, Jane.
Sixty-four individual personas with unique superpowers.
Each one just, oh, so precious.
Which one of you motherfuckers wants me to jerk a knot in your ass? [CLIFF.]
Fuck me.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
One day, these clowns jumped in their clown car, drove into clown town and a three-ring circus broke out.
The only thing this sideshow needs is a trained donkey, which brings us to me.
I had a Nazi turn me into a Rubik's cube, manifested my desire for chaos into this flatulent beast and set this towny town to self-destruct.
All caught up? Good.
Let the pretentious title sequence begin.
[PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
[EZEKIEL.]
Now comes their reckoning.
They lashed their whips at you, dear Lord, and now they will be lashed with eternal flame.
I have been faithful unto death.
Crown me and let me be seated by your most holy side.
Yes! I am ready, Father, to lead your [SCREAMS.]
[CLIFF.]
What the fuck? [MR.
NOBODY.]
Welcome back to the shitshow, everyone.
Where were we? - [MAN SCREAMING.]
- [LARRY.]
No! [MR.
NOBODY.]
Ah, yeah.
I was just opening my big fat hole.
[GROUND CRACKS.]
Alas, our merry band of misfits were not equipped for grand acts of heroism just yet.
That was a finesse that dear old daddy hadn't bothered to teach them.
- [MAN SCREAMING.]
- [MR.
NOBODY LAUGHING.]
Who are you talking to? Grant Morrison fans, Reddit trolls with DC subscriptions, and the three new fans who stuck around after the donkey fart.
You still think you control this story, don't you? Haven't seen any evidence to the contrary, old friend.
To wit.
You've slipped through my fingers for the last time.
[LARRY.]
No! It's the Chief! [SCREAMING AND GRUNTING.]
[SCREAMING.]
No! [CLIFF.]
Jane! Jane! Don't do it.
Wait! No, don't do it! No.
Jane, what are you doing? No! No.
Jane! Jane! No! No! [CLIFF.]
Holy shit.
- [EXPLOSION.]
- [CLIFF GASPS.]
Holy shit! - [GASPS.]
Holy shit! - We get the point! We all saw it, there's no need to restate the obvious.
[CLIFF.]
I'm sorry.
Am I reacting too much for you? [RITA.]
I just don't see how hysterics are going to help.
[CLIFF.]
One, I don't get hysterical.
Two, what are you doing to help? Me? Well, nothing.
Look, it's all going to be fine.
Chief disappears all the time.
[CLIFF.]
Into a fucking hole? In the fucking ground? [RITA.]
Well, don't get snippy with me.
I've known Niles Caulder a long time, and no matter how long he's gone, he always comes back.
[CLIFF.]
What about Jane? What about the town? Jane can take care of herself, believe me.
And Chief will know what to do about the town when he gets back.
[CLIFF.]
So, denial beats hysteria? You're ignoring the part where Chief said his enemies were coming for him.
Actually, you ignored that part when you insisted on staying behind to, what? Protect some townies? Punch some bad guys? We could've been miles from here by now.
[CLIFF.]
But you're not.
You turned the bus around for me.
Jane turned the bus around for you.
I went along with it in a moment of temporary insanity.
[CLIFF.]
So, sue me for wanting to do the right thing.
And what does the right thing look like now? Look around, Cliff.
You can't punch nothing.
[CLIFF.]
Someone is responsible for this.
[LARRY.]
We are.
Everything that's happened went exactly as it was supposed to.
This is what the world looks like when we try to live in it.
Niles warned us.
Then proved himself right.
We'd be well-served to take the Chief's advice from now on.
[CLIFF.]
You're kidding me.
You're gonna run again? [LARRY.]
As far away from here as possible.
[CLIFF.]
Where are you going? It's Thursday.
Trash day? [CLIFF.]
So that's it? I'm going this alone.
What did you expect, Cliff? We're not heroes.
[EXPLOSION.]
- [PATTY.]
Give me a sec.
- [TIM.]
Make it quick.
[KEYPAD BEEPING.]
[BEEPING.]
[PATTY GASPS.]
[KEYPAD BEEPS.]
What is taking so long? It, um it wants to talk to you.
[KEYPAD BEEPING.]
What is this shit? - [ATM TRILLS.]
- Whoa Whoa, whoa! [MALE VOICE ON ATM.]
Congrats, man.
You just upgraded from misdemeanor to felony.
- [BONE CRACKS.]
- [SCREAMS.]
[PATTY WHIMPERING.]
Hey! [MALE VOICE ON ATM.]
Psst! It's me you want, broke-ass.
[SCREAMS, GRUNTS.]
[GROANS.]
Cops are on their way.
You're Cyborg.
[SCOFFS.]
You can call me Vic.
[LIVELY CHATTER AND LAUGHTER.]
[DEVICE TRILLING.]
[PHONE RINGING.]
Hey, Dad.
I just downloaded your systems report for analysis.
Nothing to debrief, simple mugging.
Oh, thank God for Cyborg.
You saved a whole $600.
And a possible murder victim.
She saw the mugger's face.
This was the second location, there wasn't going to be a third.
So you spent 57 seconds messing with the perps instead of disarming them.
- Can we just fast-forward to your conclusion? - Okay.
You're capable of better.
[SIGHS.]
Do better.
Copy that.
Like I'm gonna eat.
Enabling privacy mode until further notice.
Copy that.
[MAN 1.]
Whoo! What up, man? [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Grid.
Pull up crime blotters.
Too small.
Go deeper.
Search ARGUS feed.
Horrible, destructive, chaotic.
Just a few of the words locals used to describe what they saw.
[FRANK.]
Hey, Jim.
I, uh I know you sent us out here to investigate an attack, but, uh, there's nothing here.
The whole town's gone.
[JIM.]
God damn it, Frank.
[FRANK.]
Should I just rope it off? [JIM.]
Yeah.
Call it water contamination or a gas leak or some shit.
I'll add it to the Ant Farm's backlog.
What's the name of that town again? [FRANK.]
Cloverton.
Cloverton, Ohio.
So, what have you got planned for the rest of the day? After you fix my eye.
There is no "after," Vic.
Improving your programming is a full-time job.
- Finally.
- [DOOR HISSES.]
Niles! Vic.
[LAUGHS.]
Good God! Have you grown another inch since I last saw you? Impossible.
The cybernetics froze his growth after the accident.
And you haven't changed a bit.
How the hell are you, Silas? Impatient.
We said 10:30, Niles.
[SIGHS.]
You know, the astronomers at Atacama couldn't figure out why I was so interested in their glass.
And the Chinese, they wouldn't even let me into Yunnan.
So I had to crib my lensing technique from an exiled Burmese engineer.
So, just a regular day at the office.
Well, the exercise keeps me young.
And it was worth it.
How's the circus in Cloverton? [NILES.]
It keeps me busy.
I'm working with some fascinating people.
Each one of them is just bursting with potential.
Like you, Vic.
- [REPORTER.]
Some sort of giant blob run amok.
- [PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
Horrible, disruptive, chaotic.
[WOMAN.]
Fucking bitch! Give up your money or die! [SIGHS.]
[LARRY.]
Excuse me.
Can I help you? What's the single most remote place I can get to from the next bus? Ismay, Montana.
Uh, a great sky country.
[LARRY.]
Great.
I've been wanting to work on my tan.
That was a joke meant to make you feel more comfortable with my appearance.
- [MACHINE WHIRRING.]
- [PAPER TEARING.]
[HORN HONKS.]
[GROANS.]
You okay, mister? You got hit by some kind of firework.
[LARRY GASPS.]
- Second thoughts? - Let's try somewhere else.
[HORN HONKS.]
No.
Don't you dare, you little [GRUNTS.]
[GASPS.]
Mommy, the mummy's awake.
Jenkins.
Great brewery.
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
- [GROANS.]
Kernville's nice.
Good tubin'.
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
- [GROANS.]
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
- [YELPS.]
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
- [GROANS.]
Does it even matter? [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING.]
[GROANS IN FRUSTRATION.]
You son of a bitch.
- What do you want from me? - [PEOPLE YELP.]
I'm trying to protect people from you! From you! Just let me go.
Let me go! [PANTING.]
[CLIFF GRUNTS.]
Here, donkey, donkey, donkey.
Here, boy.
Come here.
Hold still.
No, donkey! Hee-haw! Fuck! Hey, wait up.
[DONKEY BRAYING.]
Donkey! Son of a [GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION.]
Come here.
Here.
Get over here, you jackass! God damn it! Brain the size of a fucking walnut.
Fucking ass! Hey! I'm talking to you! You can run all you want, stupid donkey.
I don't get tired.
Looking for this? [CLIFF.]
Who are you? Vic Stone.
Some people call me Cyborg.
Here to help.
[CLIFF.]
Nice eye.
You're in my way.
- What's with the donkey? - It sent us a message.
Been chasing this fleabag all morning.
Full of some kind of secrets or some shit.
I saw footage of you and your pals messing up that diner.
Wanna explain how you managed to obliterate the rest of the town? Oh, Cyborg! The guy who nobody asked to be here, who pokes his nose into business that ain't his! Hi.
Man, you must be one of Niles' strays.
- You know the Chief? - I do.
Why didn't you say you know the Chief? Because watching you trying to be effective is real distracting.
- Where is he? - He's gone.
Ground opened up.
Swallowed him and the whole town.
Our housemate Jane tried to save him, now she's gone, too.
Sorry.
- I just need a second just to - Oh, no, go ahead.
Yeah.
get this straight.
[SIGHS.]
How does a band of circus freaks manage to screw up so badly that they lose their leader and the whole entire town at the same damn time? [CLIFF.]
Hey, Monday-morning QB, I don't feel good about it either.
Did you see who made the hole? [CLIFF.]
I was busy not getting swallowed by it.
- Where's the hole now? - It swallowed itself.
Did you see anything useful? [CLIFF.]
Yes, damn it! The donkey! What's the donkey got to do with it? [CLIFF.]
That's what I'm trying to figure out, asshole! [BRAYS AND RETCHES.]
I take it that's Jane.
[SIGHS.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
Larry.
I'm just, um, borrowing some Hmm.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I thought you left.
[LARRY SIGHS.]
I ran from you, you know.
When you - you know, in Cloverton.
- Mmm.
You needed us.
Me.
[LARRY SIGHS.]
I ran away because I can't control this thing inside of me.
I would've run from me, too.
If I could run from me right now, I would.
[CHUCKLES.]
We don't have to get involved.
Especially if we make things worse.
- [CLIFF.]
We got a live one! - [DOOR OPENS.]
Jane? What happened? [CLIFF.]
The donkey spit her out.
- What? - [CLIFF.]
The donkey spit her out.
You know, when he says it twice like that, it really does sound crazy.
Name's Vic.
Cyborg.
From Detroit.
So you're some sort of big city hero? I wouldn't say that.
Heroes never do.
See? No need to get involved.
[LAUGHTER.]
[NILES LAUGHING.]
[VIC PANTING.]
[GRUNTING IN PAIN.]
- [SIGHS LOUDLY.]
- Whew.
Got some wheels there, Grandpa.
So how did you break your eye anyway, Vic? Catching bank robbers? Busting gangs? [CHUCKLES.]
Protecting and serving.
Dad thinks I got a real shot at the Justice League in about five years.
Maybe sooner if I stay on top of my training.
[NILES.]
Is that so? How about you, old man? How come you're not in the game? Who says I'm not? Dad says you're more of a social worker these days.
You know, taking in those strays, putting them back together.
Yeah, well, not all battles are won on the front lines, Vic.
You know, you should come out to Cloverton sometime and see for yourself.
I have room for you.
There are people there you might find far more interesting than your street-level thugs.
I've already got plans.
Dad's plans? - [SOBBING.]
- [CLIFF.]
Jane? I know you've been through a lot, but I really need to know what happened to Chief.
- Jane? - [FAINT SHUFFLING.]
[AS SILVIA.]
Jane isn't here right now.
[GASPS.]
Dead in his arms.
Dead in his arms.
Dead in his arms.
Dead in his arms.
Dead in his arms.
Dead in his arms.
Dead in his arms.
Is she saying Niles is dead? [CLIFF.]
Jane, did you see the Chief? - [SILVIA.]
Dead in his arms.
- [CLIFF.]
Jane? [SCOFFS.]
[AS HAMMERHEAD.]
You don't care about the Chief.
You just wanna blame him for keeping you away from the daughter you fucked up.
- What is she talking about? - [CLIFF.]
Shut up.
[SCREAMING.]
Jane, stop that.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop, stop, stop.
Jane Don't fucking touch me.
[AS SCARLET HARLOT.]
Oh, please touch me.
Please touch me.
[MOANING.]
[AS HAMMERHEAD.]
You sackless Judas.
What, did you screw the nanny while your baby girl was in the other goddamn room? You filthy [STIFLED STUTTER.]
[AS PENNY FARTHING.]
Dead in his arms.
Dead in his arms.
[STUTTERS.]
Penny for your thoughts Oh, dear! Cheerio.
[GASPS.]
[SIGHS IN RELIEF.]
[AS HAMMERHEAD.]
What are you two shit-for-brains looking at? - Okay, Cliff, can I talk to you a minute? - [BLOWS RASPBERRY.]
Okay, um How does she work exactly? [CLIFF.]
Work? She's not a fucking machine.
And I have no idea.
- You'd have to ask the Chief.
- Glad we cleared that up.
Jane? [CLIFF.]
I wouldn't [GASPS.]
[AS BABY DOLL.]
Oh, my gosh.
I know who you are.
You're Cyborg.
[BABY DOLL SQUEALS.]
[CLIFF.]
Of course she does.
In the flesh.
And you are? Uh, Baby Doll, duh.
I'm your biggest fan.
[GASPS.]
Whoa, you are so cool.
Way cooler than the Flash.
[CHUCKLES.]
You wanna know a secret? [WHISPERS.]
He's not even that fast.
[GIGGLES.]
- [VIC.]
Don't tell anybody.
- [GIGGLES.]
What is that thing? That's Cliff.
Is he scaring you? [CLIFF.]
Really, buddy? It's so ugly.
I don't want it here.
Make it leave.
- [CLIFF.]
Jane - Make it leave! Don't worry.
I got this.
[CLIFF IMITATES MOCKINGLY.]
"Don't worry.
I got this.
" Punk-ass robo-tween.
I don't really know anything about Jane, really.
Really? All right.
Let's do this.
[VHS RECORDER CLICKING, WHIRRING.]
[STATIC.]
[TAPE CLICKING.]
[NILES ON TAPE.]
Jane [SIGHS.]
Jane, can we talk? Jane, it's time to come down.
[THUD.]
[STATIC ON TV.]
[JANE.]
I wasn't shoplifting.
I just wanted to try some things on, that's all.
Everything I have is old.
And that's why Katy came out? Katy's new.
I've never met Katy before.
[JANE.]
She doesn't come out very often.
[NILES.]
The last time we talked, you said you wanted to stay here more.
Have more of a home.
[JANE.]
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.
Some of me do, some of me don't.
[NILES.]
Well, I'd like that.
But before that can happen, I'd need to understand who else would be living with us.
How many others there are.
[SNIFFLES.]
The Underground is vast.
[NILES.]
I'm sorry? The Underground is vast.
[NILES.]
The Underground, yes.
You mentioned that before.
Could you draw me a picture of it? [JANE.]
I don't know.
[NILES.]
Do you think The Hangman's Daughter could draw it? I mean, just a simple sketch.
To help me understand.
[JANE SIGHS.]
Just a sketch.
[NILES.]
Is everything okay? [GIGGLING.]
- Aw.
[GIGGLING.]
- [KITTENS MEOWING.]
[CHUCKLES LIGHTLY.]
Hey.
Hey, Baby Doll? I was wondering, um Do you think we could talk about the Chief? [GIGGLING.]
It would mean a lot to me if you told me what happened.
What you saw when you went when you went away.
Oh, I can't tell you that, silly.
Why not? You wouldn't understand.
[NILES ON TAPE.]
Jane, I know this is hard, but it is important.
Can you at least tell me where does Katy live in the Underground? [JANE.]
I don't know.
[CLIFF.]
Holy shit.
[NILES.]
Could you draw it for me? [JANE.]
I don't know.
[NILES.]
You don't talk to her? [JANE.]
Not to Katy.
The ones like Katy, they keep to themselves.
[VIC.]
Baby Doll, I need you to focus.
Niles meant a lot to me.
And I know he meant a lot to you, too.
Cliff told me you dove after him.
No.
Mmm-mmm.
No, I didn't.
Baby Doll, no one's gonna be mad at you.
- Just tell me what you saw.
- I didn't see anything.
Someone else did.
[VIC.]
Who? Who saw something? [BABY DOLL.]
Katy.
Katy saw something.
- Katy saw something.
- [VIC.]
Yeah.
Katy Okay, well, let's let's talk to Katy.
Why does Katy stay so deep in the Underground? Because she doesn't like to be interrogated.
[CLIFF.]
Shit! Nobody wants to talk to Katy.
[VIC.]
I do.
I want to [CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
I'd love to talk to Katy.
[CLIFF.]
Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! Whoa, Katy! I was just trying to help! [KATY SCREECHES.]
Not giving me much choice here.
- [ELEVATOR DINGS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
What gives, man? [CLIFF.]
Don't hurt her.
She's still Jane.
Actually, the name's Lucy Fugue.
And you're the one who wanted a fight.
- [CLIFF.]
Jane - [BOTH GROANING.]
Jane Uh, Hammerhead it's me.
[AS HAMMERHEAD.]
I know who you are, shit bag.
[CLIFF SCREAMS.]
[MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS.]
- Care to join me outside? - Why? - [CLIFF SCREAMS.]
- [CRASHING.]
I could use some air.
[CLIFF GRUNTING AND GROANING.]
[AS SILVERTONGUE.]
Fuck you, you piece of shit.
[CLIFF.]
Oh, come on.
Stop.
You're so fucked.
[CLIFF.]
What? Shit! Hey, Jane, stop it! Come out.
Jane, are you in there? Are you in the Underground? What do you know about the Underground? [CLIFF.]
Not a lot.
I know Chief was trying to help you.
Maybe Maybe I can help you, too.
- [GRUNTS.]
- [VIC.]
Right on time, baby.
[CLIFF.]
I had that.
If the word "fucked" had landed an inch to the left, it'd be in your brain.
[CLIFF.]
Back off, kid.
Kid? I just saved your rusty ass.
You're even more stupid than you look.
[LARRY.]
I can't get it out of my head.
Now, how does Jane go into a hole in the ground and come out of a donkey? [RITA.]
Oh, God.
Please don't get us involved.
I thought we were on the same page here.
We're the ones who don't do anything.
But, Rita, what if What if the donkey is a door? [VIC.]
That's what I was wondering.
Hmm.
My scan says it's a perfectly normal donkey.
Thank God that's solved.
Mint juleps? Somebody's gotta step out the science of this for me.
[LARRY.]
Science? What science? Here.
Dimensions.
Wormholes.
Other buzzwords from the two theoretical physics books I read in the '50s.
Not that I care, but can't that thing inside of you tear a hole into another dimension? [LARRY SIGHS.]
How should I know? It's a being of pure energy.
Even if it knows something about the other dimensions, I don't.
And we do not communicate.
[VIC.]
Holy crap.
What is it? This thing's throat is a keyhole.
The donkey is a door.
Ugh, God.
To what? Wherever Jane went? Where the Chief still is? Where an entire town is still trapped.
Or it's a perfectly normal donkey.
Okay, so let's take a look inside.
I can't get in there.
Oh, no.
No.
Under no circumstances.
Rita, I've seen what you can do with your body.
No.
You've seen what happens to my body when it gets stressed out.
And do you know what's stressing me out right now? The idea of shoving my face down the slimy throat of a diseased animal.
Is this funny to you? Does my humiliation get your blood pumping? I'd like to know what you're picturing right now.
Are you going to shove me in a sack, hmm? A trash bag? Cut a little hole so you can squeeze me into that syphilitic beast like a tube of toothpaste? Push my eye into a funnel and force me into the bowels of a braying shit-factory without my consent? Would that work? I am a Golden Globe nominee.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Treat me like some carnival grotesque.
I was the lead in Cupid Knocks Thrice.
Tell me she's given up something about the Chief, or the townies, or whatever.
[CLIFF.]
See for yourself.
I think she's getting worse.
You were right, Rita.
I have no clue how to fix this.
I'm fucking powerless.
Oh, for the love of God.
I need a trash bag.
Whether the weather be cold, or whether the weather be hot Whether the weather be cold [VIC.]
What is she doing? [LARRY SIGHS.]
I don't know.
Rita needs to emote in order to blob.
whether the weather be hot Let's set some ground rules.
One, during this entire ordeal, nobody is allowed to look at me.
Two, when I am in the bag, you will only squeeze me as I ask to be squeezed.
Three, when I see whatever is in this disgusting keyhole, you will immediately pull me out and we will never speak of this again.
Cone of silence.
[SIGHS.]
[SQUELCHING.]
[RITA.]
Ew.
Ew.
Ew, ew, ew, ew.
Oh, ew.
Oh, God.
It's slimy, it stinks.
[LARRY.]
Just FYI, if I vomit, I have no choice but to choke on it.
[RITA.]
Stop talking! I'm almost in.
Oh, my! It's beautiful.
Rita, what do you see? [LARRY.]
Um, problem Rita, you're slipping.
[RITA.]
They're in here, they're all in here! - [VIC.]
Rita! - [RITA.]
Oh, God! - Rita! Rita! - [RITA SCREAMS.]
- [VIC GRUNTS.]
- [DONKEY BRAYS.]
- Oh, no! - [LARRY.]
What? We're going in! [BOTH YELLING.]
[VIC.]
Help me out here.
I'm inside a donkey or what? [LARRY.]
The question is, how do we get outside the donkey? Oh, my God.
It's Cloverton.
No way out but forward.
- [MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES.]
- [MR.
NOBODY.]
Bonjour! Bienvenidos! [SHOUTS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE.]
Nau mai haere mai, and welcome.
A little too soon to go up our own ass, but, hey, here we are.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yes, it's me, your full-time narrator, part-time Chief abductor.
You're here for the tour! Whether you like it or not.
First up, the Cloverton Gallery.
Small town America, deconstructed.
Bored of our pretension yet? Next, in the center of the gallery, our newest interactive exhibit.
These three meat puppets will be performing a reenactment of their search for their fearless leader.
[LARRY.]
Uh Is he talking about us? [MR.
NOBODY.]
Our radioactive fly boy asked, hoping desperately that Cyborg would take charge.
This is crazy.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
Cyborg exclaimed, as if it even need to be said.
Rita opened her mouth even though she had nothing to contribute.
The trio continued onward, eager for an exclusive look at what the Chief was up to at this very moment.
The trio continued onward.
[CLIFF SQUEAKING.]
[LAUGHS.]
Daddy.
I got it, I got it.
No crust.
[IMITATES CLARA.]
Crusts are gross.
Don't make me eat them.
No crusts.
Oh, fuck me.
House special.
Crustless PB and J triangles.
[AS BABY DOLL.]
Oh, wow.
Thanks.
[FAINT SHUFFLING.]
[AS HAMMERHEAD.]
Too bad three of us are gluten-free, twelve of us are allergic to peanut butter and none of us are your fucking daughter! [MR.
NOBODY.]
As they approached the canvases, emotions stirred.
Nostalgia, loss futility.
[BELL RINGS.]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
This isn't real.
[DIRECTOR.]
Of course not.
It's Hollywood, baby.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
Who's to say what's real, anyway? In Rita's heart, something sparked.
Do you hear that voice? Ha! You're a riot, Rita.
Jeez, I don't gotta do nothing.
- You're gorgeous.
- Your skin is just glowing.
I mean, you are radiant.
I I'm jealous of you.
What's your secret? [MR.
NOBODY.]
A desire, an old thirst.
She began to feel how right this was.
Dream or not, this was her set and she was the star.
Damn right I'm the star.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
Larry knew this wasn't really happening.
How could it be? But there he was, soaring like a phoenix.
That's impossible.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
He grabbed the stick.
[BREATHES HEAVILY.]
Driven by the instinct of a seasoned pilot who had laid dormant for far too long, Larry grabbed the stick.
- For God's sake.
- [ENGINE WHINES.]
- [ALARM BEEPING.]
- [GRUNTING.]
This isn't real.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
Tell that to your adrenaline.
Grab the stick.
You know you want to.
[RATTLING.]
You know you have to.
[GRUNTING.]
[RUMBLING.]
[MR.
NOBODY.]
Yes! Our hotshot test pilot is back.
Whoo! [LAUGHS.]
[MR.
NOBODY.]
And as for Cyborg, this wasn't his first rodeo.
He wouldn't be so easily seduced by self-indulgent fantasies.
Which is great, because it frees me up to skip straight to the torture, right, Victor? You bastard.
[GROANING IN PAIN.]
[PANTING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[MR.
NOBODY.]
Young Victor's pain was intense.
It was all he could do not to shit himself to death right there on the Stone family yard.
Screw you! [MR.
NOBODY.]
But that was nothing compared to the pain he felt when he remembered his mother was with him when the explosion happened.
[VIC.]
No.
No! This is not real! Who are you? [MR.
NOBODY.]
You'll find out soon enough.
But at the moment, I'm interested in a much more complex question, Victor.
Namely, who are you? [SOFT HUMMING.]
[CONTINUES HUMMING.]
[JANE AS PENNY FARTHING.]
Dead in his arms.
Dead in his arms.
A penny [CLIFF.]
Great stuff, Jane or whoever.
I know you don't want to talk, but I have some questions I gotta ask.
Why did you turn that bus around for me? I don't I don't deserve that.
I just found out my daughter's alive and all I can think about is how shitty her last memories of me must be.
I was so mad at the Chief for keeping her from me, but the truth is I don't deserve to see her.
So what's the point of hurting you, just to find Chief? I don't want to cause you more pain.
I'll never know what kind of trauma makes a girl split herself apart so many times.
[SQUEAKING.]
We don't have to talk about the Underground, or your life, or anything, just I just want you to feel safe.
[JANE.]
Would you make me another sandwich? [CLIFF.]
Yeah.
[DIRECTOR.]
And, action.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
Like riding a bicycle, Rita knew how to hit her marks, find her light, sell the drama.
This was it! This was her Oscar moment.
[IN SOUTHERN ACCENT.]
But I never had no momma.
So I never knew that boys could be so mean, so cruel.
[SOBS.]
And now this baby's gonna grow up not knowing her daddy.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
In other words, Rita's an idiot.
And I, I see her daddy in her little eyes, and I resent her.
[SOBBING.]
I resent her sweet angel face.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
I mean, she knows this is a trap, and still she plays along.
[IN NORMAL TONE.]
What else am I supposed to do? - Cut.
- No, wait.
[RITA GASPS.]
[MR.
NOBODY.]
Ah, the desperation.
Still she clings to her faded glory.
Whoever you are, you can shut the fuck up.
You don't know me.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
Oh, but I do, Rita Farr.
I know your whole story.
[BABY CRYING.]
I know all your stories.
I know what drove you into the sky over and over again, Larry.
I wanted to be a hero.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
A hero or a hypocrite? Because that's what you really were.
- You don't know me.
- [MR.
NOBODY.]
Oh, really? I know flying is just another word for fleeing.
Just ask your wife.
Larry, when are you coming home? The boys miss their daddy.
I wasn't running away from my family.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
Right! You were running from your family and your lover.
I don't have to be the one you choose.
But you have to make a choice.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
But you couldn't even do that, could you, Larry? Instead, you just stayed the course.
And the suckers who loved you the most paid the price.
[JOHN SCREAMS.]
Larry! Larry! [ALARM BEEPING.]
[MR.
NOBODY.]
And how do you call yourself a hero when your mother died in a lab accident you caused? You don't get it.
You think forcing me to relive this is torture? I relive this every time I go to sleep.
I relive this when I close my eyes.
You may know who I am, but you don't know shit about me.
If you did, you would know that every criminal I bust and every person I save, is me fulfilling a pledge to my mom that she'll never get to hear.
Trying to make her proud.
Knowing I'm the reason she's not around to see it.
That's my burden.
That's what it means to be Cyborg.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
What an origin story! Wow! Too bad it's a load of donkey shit.
What's that supposed to mean? Hey! - [MR.
NOBODY.]
You are wrong - [BABY CRYING.]
so wrong, to doubt the narrator.
I mean, I'm the narrator.
Think about that.
- I exist outside of time and space.
- [BABY CONTINUES CRYING.]
I know your past, present, and future.
Please don't do this to me.
[MR.
NOBODY.]
I know what you did.
What you are willing to do.
So, if you don't want your sad, solipsistic, utterly useless lives dissected in front of the world, stop looking for Niles Caulder! And you, Victor Stone, - you're the most tragic one of all.
- [GASPS.]
You don't even have memories.
You have programming.
[SCREAMS.]
Get out of my head! Get out of my head! - Are you talking to me, or to your father? - [GRUNTS.]
Either way, you're on the right track.
[SCREAMING IN PAIN.]
The worst thing about not knowing your own past [SCREAMING.]
is that you're doomed to repeat it.
[CRYING IN PAIN.]
Who are you? Me? I'm Nobody.
Help! Help me, Larry! Larry! [MR.
NOBODY.]
Go ahead, Larry.
Save the day.
That's what heroes do.
But, of course you never were a hero.
No wonder you resent the thing inside you so much.
[GRUNTING.]
A-ha! Your deus ex is right on time.
The sight of him helplessly flailing about to free you all is so stirring.
Ugh! You can thank this glowing baby bird for ending your torture early, but don't forget, you're all at my mercy.
[LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY.]
[STOMACH GURGLING.]
[BRAYING.]
[BRAYS LOUDLY.]
[MAN SCREAMING.]
[WOMAN SCREAMING.]
[VOICES YELLING INDISTINCTLY.]
[GASPS, EXHALES SHARPLY.]
[VIC.]
You two okay? Not in the slightest.
- [LARRY.]
What was that? - A warning.
- Think you might have saved us, Larry.
- [DOOR OPENING.]
[LARRY.]
I didn't do anything.
Thank that thing inside of you for me.
Whatever it is.
[CLIFF.]
What the hell happened? The donkey was a door.
- What? - The donkey was a door.
I see what you did there, and I hate you.
Well, thank God you got out.
I could've told you it was a trap.
Oh, good.
Jane's back.
[CLIFF.]
Any sign of the Chief? We know he's alive.
And we met the bastard who took him.
Calls himself Nobody.
[CLIFF.]
Nobody? That's less than helpful.
The good news is, he's scared of us.
- He's scared of us? - [VIC.]
Yeah.
This is how I know we're onto something.
Why else would Nobody lay a trap, make threats, mess with our heads? [SCOFFS.]
That's not omniscient.
That's insecure.
- In fact, all we need - [SILAS.]
Victor! [CAR DOOR SHUTS.]
Dad? [CLIFF.]
Someone's in trouble.
So much for privacy mode.
How did you find me? When you vanish from the face of the Earth, I get a damn notification.
What happened? I could try to explain, but the science really wouldn't hold up.
Where's Niles? Did he talk you into coming here? He's gone, Dad.
He's in trouble.
Well, whatever he's gotten himself into, he can figure his own way out.
He always does.
We're going home.
- Dad - This is not a job for Cyborg.
The work we're doing in Detroit is important.
It means something.
It's gonna get you noticed.
Catapult you to bigger and better things.
And even if it doesn't, it means something to me.
And your mom.
Every criminal we bust, every person we save, is us fulfilling a pledge to your mom.
Doing her proud.
That's our burden, Vic.
That's what it means to be Cyborg.
You should go home.
I'm staying here until I find Niles Caulder.
Like hell you are.
You You've been here a day, you're covered in slime, palling around with a bunch of inept circus freaks.
Vic you get your act together, I will upgrade you.
Turn you into a godlike force for good.
[SCOFFS.]
I need a couple of days to figure this out.
I'll check in on schedule.
Don't worry about me.
- I always do.
- Why? [SCOFFS.]
I'm Cyborg right? [ART ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
[DOOR BEEPS.]
[DOOR BEEPS.]
[SIGHS.]
I'm supposed to thank you.
[SCOFFS.]
Okay.
You can do it.
[SIGHS HEAVILY.]
You'll wake up.
You'll wake up.
[EXHALES.]
Oh.
Uh, sorry, I'm looking for a guest room.
Well, this isn't some motel.
You'll have to pick up after yourself.
Chip in.
I think I can handle that.
Guest room is last door on the right.
You did good today, Rita.
I know it was hard, but, um Just You were a star today.
Damn right you're a star.
[MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING.]