Doom Patrol (2019) s04e08 Episode Script

Fame Patrol

Why does the sun go on shining? ♪
Why does the sea rush to shore? ♪
Don't they know it's
the end of the world? ♪
'Cause you don't love me anymore ♪
I wake up in the morning ♪
And I wonder ♪
Why everything was
the same as it was ♪
I can't understand ♪
How life goes on the way it does ♪
Why does my heart go on beating? ♪
Why do these eyes of mine cry? ♪
Don't they know it's
the end of the world? ♪
If only when you said ♪
Goodbye ♪
[RITA] Are we sure we're
sober enough to lead the way?
Oh, I don't know, I think so.
A pile of dead corpses in a
giant crater is fairly sobering.
That said
I do think there's something
very familiar about Immortus.
But I just can't place it.
Well, that's because it's not Immortus,
it's Isabel fucking Feathers!
[CLIFF] Shit. Is it
Immortus or isn't it?
The fuck do you care?
[CLIFF] Immortus!
- [FAKE COUGH] Immortus!
- Will you shut up?
Nobody thinks it's funny.
It's your fault why we're
in this fucking mess.
Come on, it's not all my fault, right?
It's a little bit Larry's fault too.
Where'd you come from?
And who's the chick in the jumpsuit?
Cliff, not now, Please.
You okay?
My father is dead.
Some part of me always knew
his story would end like this.
But that other man, Wally Sage?
He was my creator. And
the only one who could
explain why I'm here.
To lose them both
I don't know why you're here, Casey.
But I'm glad you are.
We'll figure this out
together. I promise.
Hey, should I be worried about this?
Honestly? I don't know.
Can't really say I saw this one coming.
Yeah, I gotta get the hell out of here.
Are you calling an Uber?
Bro, we just blew up a pocket
dimension in the middle of Ohio.
I gotta go check on my wife and kids.
- Come on, man.
A'ight, you go be a dad.
[LAUGHS] I'll handle this.
You really do love it, don't you?
- How's that?
- You know.
Man, you looked like
your old self back there.
Those freaky ass Scissormen
couldn't wipe the grin off your face.
Hey, by this you're talking
about me being Cyborg
No, no. Nah. You were right about that.
You can't just go back to being Cyborg.
At least
not the old Cyborg.
That's my ride.
- Get home safe.
- All right.
I'll talk to you.
Come on.
So, what's the verdict?
Should one of us go check on
her, ask if she's doing all right?
Ask if she's doing all right?
She just exploded and
killed half a dozen people!
She needs to be destroyed.
Wow, that is big talk
for someone who couldn't even
handle killing a fake Wally Sage.
Maybe there's somewhere between,
you know, hospitality and homicide?
- Homicide?
- Yeah.
I don't want to murder some random girl!
[CLIFF] Or get murdered
by some random girl.
[LARRY] What if we're
following the wrong girl?
Are we sure that's Immortus?
[CLIFF] Immortus?
[IN HIGH PITCH] Immortus?
[IN ACCENT] Immortus?
[RITA] Oh, for fuck's sake. Isabel?
Isabel Feathers?
Prepare yourself, Isabel Feathers.
Did ya'll just say "Isabel Feathers"?
You found Isabel Feathers! [LAUGHS]
After several months,
the body of Isabel Feathers has
been found, and that body is alive.
So, Isabel, we're dying to know.
Where have you been all this time?
Where have I been?
I guess you could say I was
lost in the fabric of reality.
Somewhere outside of space and time.
[JONATHAN] Outside of
space and time. I see.
And what was that like for you?
There are no words
[DISTORTED] to accurately
describe my experience.
I witnessed the rise and
fall of civilizations.
I stared into the heat
death of the universe
and heard the answer
to the final question.
My body was everywhere
and nowhere all at once,
and my screams echoed
back to me through the eons
like a chorus of haunted memories.
The only escape was death,
and death was revealed to
be nothing but an illusion.
[CLIFF] This is what we do now
that we're old and decrepit?
Watch supervillains on television?
This girl looks like she's
definitely about to explode again.
[RITA] We should've taken her
out when we had the chance.
I'm sorry, I don't know
why I said that. I
So, Isabel, we're dying to know,
where have you been all this time?
Okay, what the fuck was that?
Oh my gosh, Jonathan.
I honestly can't explain the wheres
and hows of what happened to me.
It was just, like, so deep, you know?
What I can say
is I really used that
time to work on myself.
My brand. You know?
I stopped asking "Where
is Isabel Feathers?"
and started asking,
"Who is Isabel Feathers?"
[CLIFF] This is what we do now
that we're old and decrepit?
Watch supervillains on television?
[JANE] Maybe that explosion
was a one-time deal. I mean,
this theater geek doesn't seem
like the vengeful time-god type.
Uh-huh, did no one else see that?
I saw enough. Isabel, Immortus, is
a threat that needs to be removed.
Oh please. We all know
what Immortus is capable of.
Also, she's not just Immortus.
She's my former archenemy
Thespian archenemy.
Isabel Feathers is no thespian, Jane.
She's a two-faced,
mm, dinner-theater
caliber pretty-faced witch
who might just be a world killer.
- We need to destroy her.
- Rita's right.
You know, I got a
strange sense of déjà vu
when I was watching that interview.
One minute, like, she was kinda
dangerous and kind of weird
and then the next minute, she was
just this normal ordinary girl.
[LARRY] Maybe she's
dangerous and normal, like us.
We should leave her alone.
[CLIFF] Please, please,
please, please
[GASPS] No, no, no, no. No,
no, no, no. No, no, no, no.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck!
Oh, my God. What do we do? What
Um, I was just checking to see if
anybody wanted to have ice cream.
- Why would anyone want ice cream right now?
- Nobody wants ice cream.
- I feel like a soft serve or
- Get a hold of yourself, man.
All right, fuck off. You guys
can't keep giving me shit for this.
I didn't lose our longevity. We
all lost our longevity together.
- Don't even fucking start with me.
- This is 100% your fault.
- This is not a good look.
- [MADAME ROUGE] I agree.
This is why we need to act.
We need to figure out exactly what
is going on with Isabel, Immortus.
It's our best chance at
getting out of this mess
that Cliff has gotten us into.
[CLIFF] You're kidding me?
[JONATHAN] So, Isabel, are you excited
about the big rescue celebration
going on this afternoon?
And do you expect that some
of the heroes that saved you
will make an appearance in the parade?
Uh, I'm sure they'll be there.
They're just as happy I'm back as
everyone else is, right?
[JONATHAN] Well, why in the World
of Wut would they not be, right?
That's it! Hm?
That's the cover we need to go into town
and figure out what's
really going on here.
We've practically been invited.
I'm right here! Stop shouting!
Sorry. I thought I heard something.
You okay?
I don't know, Dr. Stone. You try
aging 15 years in an afternoon.
[CLIFF] I'm with Jane. We're
literally getting too old for this.
[LARRY] Face it, Rita.
It's over. We lost.
Immortus was just a bunch
of comic book bullshit.
It doesn't really matter to me
whether Isabel is an ordinary girl
or an ordinary despotic time monster.
I have to figure out what to do
with the little time I have left.
Perhaps you're right.
We are all getting older.
Even though I am the one who
has aged more than anyone else,
and I am still ready to kick some ass.
Uh, right, let's get to work.
[DOROTHY] Okay, so this
is my father's spaceship.
Whoa, holy smokes, kid, a spaceship?
It looks, uh, super aerodynamic.
So, uh, what kind of engine
you workin' with here, huh?
Dutonium fire-water?
Combustible neutron droplets?
Purple Crystals?
It runs on apples.
You feed them to a mountain
goat over the dashboard.
How are you feeling, Casey?
I don't know-kie.
Out of all the real life
feelings I've experienced
for the first time, this is
really the worst, you know.
No one likes to feel that pain.
Sometimes it stays with you forever.
But grief is like a gift.
Just like smell and taste.
All of these things let
you know that you're alive.
That you're real.
[SNIFFLES] I just wish
I could turn the page.
But that's why I brought you here.
[SIGHS] I want you to
have my father's ship.
You can go anywhere you want to.
I don't know. I've never been driven
by goat-apple power before, so
I think I need a new mission.
A mission?
Here on Earth?
Well, I guess I have a
mission of my own right now.
These people here,
they're family to me. They're
the only family I have left,
and they're dying.
[SIGHS] I have to help them.
[CASEY] Well, it
sounds pretty important.
Maybe this time I'll be your sidekick.
That is if you'll have me aboard.
[LARRY] I'm sorry, pal.
Things didn't go the way we hoped.
I swear, I'll give you all I
can until my very last breath.
[RAMA] Quite depressing, mate.
Slightly less depressing
than the robot in your garage,
but only slightly.
Rama? Is that you?
I I thought you disappeared.
[RAMA] Not so much disappeared.
More of, uh, disassembled.
I think your little glowing
friend got a little carried away
and, well, obliterated me.
Did you? Oh, I'm sorry. I had no idea.
Think nothing of it. It's
just, I need your help.
Uh, okay, all right. If I
were a defrosted Zombie Butt,
where the hell would I be?
I would be [GRUNTS] No.
What's the worst thing
that could happen?
Buttpocalypse 2?
Or maybe Immortus destroys the world
before the Zombie
Butts destroy the world
and it'll be my little secret.
- [COUGHS] Shut up!
Fucking Parkinson's!
Fucking aging! Fuck you! [GROANS]
- Fuck!
- Cliff?
- Huh? Oh! Hey, kid!
- Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
Totally not reckoning with my mortality
in multiple very-real scenarios.
- Follow me.
- I'm actually a little busy but [GROANS]
Okay, we're fine. Where are we going?
[MADAME ROUGE] Jane? Jane, where
are you? Jane, where have you gone?
Where the hell am I? Why can't
I find my way back to my station?
- Where did you go, Jane?
- I can't find you!
- [RITA] Is she coming back?
- I'm lost.
I'm lost in my own fucking
head! Somebody help me?
Somebody help me, please!
[CASEY] I can help you.
Why the fuck were you in my head?
- I'm not sure what you mean by that.
- Whatever.
I'm out of here.
Tell the rest of the Power
Rangers no karate in the house.
- What's the plan, Rita?
- As I've been saying all along,
find Immortus, and do
whatever needs to be done.
If Isabel puts one little
pedicured toe out of line,
she's as good as dead.
Since when did you
become dark and vengeful?
Hm, apparently it's been a
thing for quite some time now.
I'm sick of good guys and bad guys.
The Agents of Immortus were good
guys, and look where it got them.
We will never get our
longevity back if we ask nicely.
Get your longevity?
Wait, that's what this
whole thing is really about?
- [ISABEL] Oh, thanks.
- There she is.
Thank you so much for being
here, it's truly an honor.
[GASPS] You saw my show? Oh,
I would love to sign that.
Hi, there, I'm Claire. Claire
Delaire. The Cloverton Mayor.
Would you happen to be the Dune
Patrol? Did I say that right?
It's actually the Doom Patrol.
And, yes, I suppose we are.
As I live and breathe.
Everyone, gather round!
- Come, come, come.
Wait, what's wrong? I was, I was
I was halfway through the
opening of my autobiography
[DISTORTED] "Feathers in the Wind"!
Oh, of course. And who
should I make it out to?
Would you happen to be the Dune
Patrol? Did I say that right?
- Uh, it's actually
- Everyone! It's the Doom Patrol!
My heroes! I am so glad you're here!
This is the greatest Rescue
Celebration Day we've ever had.
[CROWD] Yeah.
[RAMA] Let's not despair.
There's surely some
solution. There always is.
[LARRY] I don't know
if there is a solution.
I made a mess of everything
while you were gone.
- How's that?
- It doesn't matter how it happened.
The bottom line: Immortus was a lie.
Everything you told me, everything
you believed, all of it was a lie.
Now, my longevity is gone and
I'm rapidly aging to my death.
You know as well as I do the dangers
of aging to a radioactive being.
If I destabilize as my body breaks down,
I'll become a geriatric dirty bomb!
Keeg, what the hell are you doing?
We're not alone in here,
that radiation is deadly.
[RAMA] Wait! Keeg's onto something.
I'm in this mess because my
electrons have been dispersed.
A healthy dose of
radiation might allow me
to siphon the particles I
need to rehabilitate myself!
- Are you feeling this?
- Yes!
- Et voilà !
[STRAINING] Come on! Stay with me!
- Don't let go!
- Don't let go!
- I've got you. We've got you!
Great work. Thank you.
[LARRY] No problem.
Hey, have you see anything
weird around here lately?
Like, weirder than normal?
Like, small? And possibly dangerous?
- No.
- Cool. Cool, me neither.
So, what's the deal, kid?
So, I was thinking about
how you've been having
trouble getting around.
And now that you're
getting older, I thought
- You thought?
- Papa's old chair!
- I want you to have it.
- Why?
- Why? To use it.
- Fuck, no.
Sorry. I meant, fuck, no!
I would literally rather die.
What do you mean? This chair will
make your life so much better.
You think that'll make my life better?
Did you get the impression that
Niles was thrilled with his life?
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.
I see what you're trying to do.
Everyone hated Niles,
and now everyone hates me.
So, what, I'm supposed
to be the new Niles?
Wheel around and fuck
up everyone's lives?
- No, fucking thank you.
- I know you and Papa didn't get along
I hated him in life and
I still hate him in death.
Even when his ghost asked for my help,
I told him to haunt the fuck right off.
You you spoke to Papa's ghost?
Er Uh, yeah, er
I didn't tell you because
Well, maybe you haven't
noticed, kid, but I'm an asshole!
So, stop trying to pity me
and leave me the fuck alone.
What the fuck are you doing in my room?
Oh! Is this your room?
That that is so, uh, unexpected.
I was just uh I was just
I'm sorry, I was just trying to help.
And I think I got a little carried away.
- I love your paintings, by the way.
- Who are you again?
I'm Space Case.
But my secret identity is Casey Brinke.
- I guess it's not really a secret.
[GROANS] I don't give a shit.
You seemed like you could
use a hand earlier, so
I took the liberty of
organizing this amazing puzzle.
Who gives a shit about a
fucking puzzle? [SNIFFLES]
Listen, I used to be
a fictional character
so I'm not always right
about these things.
But I got the sense
that this puzzle had some
sort of emotional significance
- So I figured
- Are you still talking?
You can't just come into my
room and expect to fix my life.
My life is fucked up
beyond your understanding.
You're hurting.
I can tell.
But, uh
these feelings, they let you
know that you're alive.
That you're real.
I don't know where you heard
that fortune cookie garbage,
but they need to get
their facts straight.
I'm not real. I'm just a construct.
I'm not real, this puzzle
isn't real, and guess what?
You are not real either.
You said it yourself, you're fictional.
You're not real.
You're not a superhero.
You're just a nosey girl
who organizes other people's
shit into random piles.
- I guess I still have a lot to figure out.
I'll leave you alone.
They aren't random piles, by the way.
They're organized by color.
We're back again with the woman
of the hour, Isabel Feathers.
And joining her, is the woman
behind the woman of the hour,
Gertrude Cramp.
Girl power. Am I right, ladies?
Now, Miss Cramp, I'm told
that you were actually
the understudy of Isabel Feathers
in a critically acclaimed
production of Our Town.
Well, that's not even the juiciest
part of the story, Jonathan.
World of Wut would you say if I told you
that Isabel was playing a
role in Our Town based on me?
It truly was an incredible
performance by me. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
It takes a lot of talent to
portray such a tragic character.
I'm sure you remember
the day she blobbed out
and nearly destroyed the entire town.
I think, it's important to remember
that, at the time, I was trying
very hard not to destroy the town.
[GIGGLES] I mean sure.
That's what made playing
your character so complicated.
But easy for me. [CHUCKLING]
And I assume, you have a background
in acting as well, Miss Cramp?
I dabble. Many have said
I know it sounds crazy, but I'm
telling you, something is wrong.
[JONATHAN] Gertrude,
you are simply amazing!
[DISTORTED] Consider this a warning!
Tell your friend to back
the fuck out of my moment,
or there will be nothing left of her
but a pile of acrylic nails
and the smell of vodka.
Well, that's not even the juiciest
part of the story, Jonathan.
Okay, tell me you felt something there.
Aside from the overwhelming boredom?
No. She does not fit
the supervillain profile.
[JONATHAN] Now, let's
meet the rest of your team.
Laura De Mille, Victor Stone.
Welcome to World of Wut.
So, Victor, you are not Cyborg anymore,
what's that like?
Just so you know, I'd be
having trouble with these steps
whether I was in a chair or not.
Cliff, I'm sorry if I've upset you.
But you're going to have
to take care of yourself
if you want to be there for your family.
Be there for my family?
How exactly is an invalid robot
supposed to be there for his family?
You have to let people take care of you.
It's not your condition that's
a burden, it's your obstinance.
Why do you have to make it so hard?
Because I can take care of myself.
If you can take care of yourself,
then walk up the damn steps.
I don't want to. Maybe I
like it here at the bottom.
Okay, then walk with me to the elevator.
- No.
- [YELLING] Why won't you let me help you?
[YELLING] Because I don't deserve it!
Trust me, kid, I don't deserve love.
I don't even deserve pity.
I've been trying so hard to leave
something behind that's worth a damn,
but I just keep fucking things up more.
It'll be better for everyone
when I'm dead and gone.
[ANGRILY] Don't say that, Cliff.
- Don't ever say that.
Your death won't hurt you
nearly as much as it will hurt the
people who have to live with it.
Do you have any idea of all the
things I wish I could have said?
All the moments I wish
we could have shared?
And now that you're closer than
you've ever been to the end,
you just want to waste time?
People love you, Cliff.
- And people want to help you.
Don't let them down.
When the others get back from the parade
we will then talk about what's best.
The parade? That's right! The parade!
The parade for heroes. Heroes like us.
You're right! There
are people who love me.
But I need to remind them why.
Save the fucking chair.
I've got a parade to attend.
Is this, uh, your usual thinking
spot, because I can go somewhere else.
You know, a few days
ago, I didn't exist.
Yesterday everything I
cared about ceased to exist.
I should just be grateful for the
heat of the sun and wind in my ears
and that weird smell of my
sock when I take off my boot.
But I'm not.
I just feel empty.
Empty's a good word for it.
[SIGHS] I thought I needed a mission.
Something to give me purpose.
Purpose? Purpose is overrated.
Maybe it's okay not to know
what your next mission is.
Maybe that leads to
a new kind adventure.
I heard about this dumb parade in town,
if you'd want to go check
that out with me, for a bit.
You know, I was just thinking
that this planet has the perfect
amount of gravity for a parade.
Tell me. Why did you
do it? We had a plan.
We almost escaped Orqwith
together. Why go back to Immortus?
[LARRY] You weren't there.
You can't understand.
I had to make a choice.
I did what I felt I had to do.
I don't I don't get it.
You never struck me
as the impulsive type.
I mean that sounds more like
[LARRY] What?
I think I understand now.
No, you couldn't possibly.
I don't know what part
of you needs to hear this
but you have to know, there is
no shame believing in miracles.
I spent my life believing in
them. I don't plan on stopping now.
Belief in miracles got
Wally and the others killed.
I can't wait around for miracles, Rama.
I have to live in the real world.
You promised we'd find another way.
Well, you might want to check
the shelf life on that promise.
I need to find a new home for Keeg.
We're dying, remember?
I can't take care of him,
you can't take care of him.
Had you already penciled me in as
a foster option for the little one?
No, I didn't I didn't
mean it like that. I just
I want him to be safe. That's all.
I'm going to hold you to your
promise a little bit longer.
[CLIFF] Larry, get your bandages on.
We're going to that
stupid fucking parade.
And I need help walking.
Yeah. I'm a little
busy right now, Cliff.
- Sorry about that, he's a
- Well, I'm sorry.
You only have so much time on this Earth
and your friends want
you to go to a parade.
- Why wouldn't you go?
- [SPUTTERS] Yeah, I'm not really
a parade type of guy.
I'm more of a stay-at-home and
stare-out-the-window type of guy.
Keeg, would you like to go to a parade?
Well, that settles that.
I will rest on this military-grade
rectangle you call a mattress,
re-gather my strength.
And you go to a parade.
[CHUCKLES] Thank you.
- Everything all right?
- Never better.
So, uh, what do we think of Isabel?
Oh, I'll figure that out later.
For now, let's just enjoy the moment.
Wow. That's quite a U-Turn. What
happened to dark and vengeful?
You never told me being a superhero
was so much fun. [CHUCKLES]
Not just for the fame,
but for the feeling of doing
something good in the world
and being recognized for it.
But also, the fame. [LAUGHING]
It's nice to finally be
recognized and experience the fame.
[LAUGHING] You're not wrong.
[SIGHS] Man, I'd be lying if
I said I didn't miss it a bit.
Ah, come off it, Victor.
You and I both know you're destined
for something bigger than this.
You're not going to spend
the rest of your life
taking care of ageing heroes.
- You're Cyborg.
- I'm not
One day, you're going to realize
that our little Doom Patrol
just isn't enough for
you anymore. And then
Hey! Remember me?
How could I forget?
I just had a few questions, you know,
for my peace of mind
just to clear the air.
- Go on.
- Well, it was
my fault that you fell
into that time hole.
It's my fault that all of
this happened to you, but
I just wanted to check that you're okay.
You know, you were dealt a bad hand.
As was I.
That doesn't make us evil, right?
I don't know who you think you are,
but you don't know anything about me.
I have everything
[LAUGHING] I have ever wanted.
I'm not evil, I'm famous.
Unfortunately, I don't believe you
What did you just call me?
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I say "Immortus"?
I meant, Isabel.
[DISTORTED] You dare utter my true name?
You dare meddle in my unending
legacy with your mortal clumsiness?
I have seen your pathetic
demise, Laura De Mille,
as I have seen all things.
But I will gladly rewrite your
history so that you die today!
- Hey, remember me?
- Sorry, I'm too busy for selfies right now.
I have to go receive the key
to the city. Wish me luck!
Do we wave?
[CLIFF] I had no idea
we had actual fans.
[LARRY] Turns out a very small,
very select group of
people care about us.
[JANE] What the fuck
is that supposed to be?
[RITA] That's me!
Blob! Blob! Blob! Blob!
Thank you so much.
Isn't it amazing they're here?
Real superheroes, in Cloverton!
Superheroes? [CHUCKLES] You mean
the freaks out there on the donkey?
[LARRY] Hey, since
we're superheroes again,
I might need everyone's help.
I'm dying.
And Mr. 104 is destabilizing.
If we don't figure out a solution,
we're probably going to
blow up the entire planet.
Well, I'm sure that's something
the Doom Patrol can
help with, right, Jane?
I don't know. I might need help too.
I can't find my way
back into the Underground
and I need to get back there
before I forget forever.
That's complex. But
If we're all listing problems,
remember that Zombie Butt?
The one I was supposed to kill?
Uh, I didn't kill it.
But I did lose it.
[LARRY] What the hell?
- [CLIFF] Whoa, whoa.
[JANE] Idiot!
I don't understand. This
is a Rescue Celebration.
I was the one who got rescued.
This parade is supposed
to be all about me.
Of course it's about you.
You were missing and now you're found.
But the Doom Patrol
Ah, the Doom Patrol, they found you.
I mean, they're heroes.
And you are the reason
why they are heroes.
Which is why you were chosen to
present them with the key to the city.
I'm sorry, did you just
I thought you were giving
me the key to the city.
Sure. We're giving
you the key to the city
so you can give them
the key to the city.
Does that make sense?
Excuse me. Rita!
Rita! Rita! Rita!
Rouge! Hi!
We've got to get out of here!
- What?
- There's something wrong with Isabel,
we have to stop her.
After you hand them the key to the city,
I'll make the big announcement
[VOICE FADES] we're making
today into a town holiday.
From here on out, June 5th will
be known as Doom Patrol Day.
[ISABEL] Doom Patrol Day?
Doom Patrol Day?
Doom Patrol Day?
Fuck this!
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