Doom Patrol (2019) s04e10 Episode Script

Tomb Patrol

[BUTT HUNTER] Sorry, little guy.
New rules coming from the Bureau.
They want me to shoot to kill.
Last one.
I always get my Butt.
[TEDDY] Indeed you do.
I could use a man of your skills.
What the fuck is this?
You're supposed to be extinct.
[TEDDY] You have no idea
what we're capable of.
Scrubbing our names from the
Bureau's roster was nothing.
"Our names"?
[TEDDY] Now then, I
need you to find someone.
It's 3:00 a.m.
You okay?
Why did you want to meet here?
This wouldn't have anything to
do with me singing and dancing
in an Immortimas onesie, would it?
You remember my friend Deric?
Robotics club, right?
- Yeah.
- You used to be attached at the hip.
I went to see him not too long ago.
Fell back into our old ways.
I'm glad to hear that.
You said you wanted to find your bliss.
[VIC] I did what I thought I wanted,
but it led me right back here.
Deric thinks I should be Cyborg again.
Do you want me to be Cyborg?
I made that decision for you once
before, and look where it got us.
But I have to admit,
I was a little relieved
when you let that part of your life go.
I thought my boy wouldn't be
risking his life every day.
And yet
And yet?
Well, come on, man,
you didn't get a job,
pick up a new hobby, start a business.
You didn't even come home.
You kept doing the hero thing
and risking your life anyway.
Just without the tech.
I don't know.
Victor, a man always knows
why he moves the way he does.
You can lie to me all you want.
You start lying to yourself,
that's when you're in trouble.
I wanted to help people.
I think I still do.
Can I show you something?
[SILAS] Hmm.
- All right. Jeez Louise.
Keep your hair on. God damn it.
Give me a goddamn
- Hi.
- Fuck! Jesus Christ!
- Ow!
Okay, I knew it wasn't going to
be so easy for you to back off.
So if it is revenge that you want,
you are going to have to
go through all of them.
Please don't kill me.
I don't want to die. Please.
You are too funny. Love that about you.
No, I'm not here to kill you guys.
I am here to invite you
to my new one-woman theatrical event.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Come again. What?
I've done a lot of soul
searching in the past eight hours,
after you and your friends completely
destroyed my holiday utopia.
And I realized it wasn't super cool
to force all of humanity to love me.
- I'm not Disney. [CHUCKLES]
- No.
If I want people's respect,
then I need to do the work.
So, drum roll, please.
I'm workshopping it this afternoon
at the Cloverton Playhouse.
And then we, me I open tonight.
- Wow. That's some
- Fast, I know.
But I'm being realistic.
Probably won't make it to Broadway
till, like, next week, so
It'd mean the world to me if you
and your weird friends could come.
You all really keep me grounded.
Well then, I will check with them.
Great! I'll see you tonight.
Cloverton Playhouse.
Yes. The fuck?
[LARRY] Oh, God damn it.
You all right?
[LARRY] I'm fine.
Why are you digging a
giant hole in the ground?
[LARRY] It's not a hole.
Ooh. Dark.
Isn't it a tad premature to be
getting your affairs in order?
- Let me help you.
No. I said I'm fine.
You're not fine.
Okay, you got me.
My skin is thinning and
my body's breaking down.
You happy?
Can't all go on vacation like you.
It's not a vacation.
I need to see where I'm from.
Where I'm supposed
to be from before I
Before you what?
The elements in my
body, they're unstable.
More so by the day.
Once I see Tamil Nadu
I'm going to rent a boat,
sail deep out into the Bay of Bengal
and go for one last swim.
Then, while I still have
control over my abilities,
turn myself into a block of lead.
And that will be that.
And you call me dark?
Well, at least it's more poetic
than digging your own grave
in front of some rotting greenhouse.
You could come with me.
I can't. I have to do this for Keeg.
I know he can survive
inside these orchids.
At least this way, we'll be together.
Doesn't really seem fair to Keeg.
Are you fucking kidding me?
The whole reason he
and I are in this mess
is because I gave up my longevity,
chasing your stupid dream.
I know.
And I am so sorry to both of you.
I know we said we'd try
to find another way, but
I don't know what else to do.
Do you?
[LARRY] You know,
for a second there, I really thought
we might find our way through this.
Fuck you for giving me hope.
[EXHALES DEEPLY] Much better.
All right, Bendy. If anybody's going to
care about the shit, it's you.
Excuse me, but would you kindly get off?
- What are you doing?
- I'm just taking a breather.
Releasing my form
helps with my arthritis.
No joints, no joint pain.
- Uh-huh.
- That being said,
there is still work to be done.
Indeed there is.
We have just had a visit
by none other than Isabel Feathers.
Oh. How is she?
[MADAME ROUGE] How is she?
This isn't some bloody old schoolmate
that you just ran into at the market.
This is Immortus.
She's a supervillain.
Is she, though?
I have to admit,
Immortimas may have been
a somewhat ham-fisted attempt at glory,
but it wasn't all that bad.
Honestly, I found a lot of joy
in my role as leader of
the household. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, that's why it looks like Julia Child
went on a cocaine binge then, is it?
- Can I help
- I can do it myself.
Thank you very much.
We never did get to sit
down to that family dinner,
so I figured what better time than now.
I think there are some more
pressing matters to worry about
- than a chicken parmigiana.
- Nonsense.
Best we spend what little
time we have left together.
In moments of crisis, families
are supposed to come together
and rally around each other.
What more can we do? Hmm?
- Let me get back to you on that.
- Hmm.
What the fuck?
Pretty Polly.
Where are you?
Come here.
What's going on?
What's happening?
She's a pretty girl ♪
That's my good girl. Good girl.
- [WOMAN 1] Say it.
- [MAN 1] Say it.
- [WOMAN 1] Say it.
- [WOMAN 2] Say it.
- [WOMAN 3] Say it.
- [WOMAN 4] Say it.
[WOMAN 5] Say it.
- [CLIFF] Jane!
- [WOMAN 6] Say it.
- [WOMAN 7] Say it.
- [CLIFF] Jane!
- [CLIFF] Jane!
You all right?
What the fuck did you do? [GRUNTS]
[CLIFF] What? Nothing.
You were just sitting there,
tearing that fucking thing apart.
So anyway, do you want to go
to Florida and see my daughter?
I finally got my stud-wagon together,
and I'm driving it down to-fucking-day.
Does it look like I want to drive
to Florida to see your daughter?
- Fuck off.
- Okay.
Do you want to go to
Florida, see my daughter
and blow up some toilets with M-80s?
I got a guy.
Jane says she's too old for this shit,
and some of us have places to be,
so let's hear it.
After several failed attempts
at pulling you out of
your respective asses,
I took a closer look
at the Wally Sage files
that Bendy and I stole
from the Ant Farm.
And I found something.
What in God's name is that?
This photo is Isabel's
World of Wut appearance
a couple of days back,
and I I noticed this
on her lower neck.
[LARRY] She should really
get that checked out.
Wait for it.
- [CLIFF] Is that a fossilized little turd?
This was a necklace worn
by one Dr. Niles Caulder.
Chief wore a little
turd around his neck?
The clothes maketh the man.
Take a closer look,
and see if there's
any similarities there.
- Anything at all.
- [CLIFF] Um
[SIGHS] When Isabel fell
into that time stream
- Because of you.
- Yes, Cliff.
When she fell in,
she was trapped there for a millennia.
It did something to her.
The more time passed,
the more her power grew,
and it seemed to manifest on her body.
This This is what makes her Immortus.
This is the source of her power.
- [LARRY] But how did it
- [MADAME ROUGE] Come off her body?
I don't know, and I don't care to.
But when it did, it fell through time.
And according to Wally's research,
it landed in the past,
which eventually found
its way into the hands
of your fearless leader.
This This is the
key to your longevity.
This is what was inside all of you.
Well, that was until
Wally's freaks stole it back
and used it to raise
her from the time stream.
So the key to Isabel's
power is a fucking skin tag?
Well, you could call it that. Yes.
But now it's back on
her, and I have a hunch
that if we were just to chop it off
- No. And then we have a chance
of stopping you all aging any further.
This is our shot.
Look. This.
We should go to the show.
[CLIFF] Nope. Nope, not gonna happen.
We're all about to drop dead,
and you want us to go up against
some all-powerful theater major
who can control time?
Well, yes, there is some risk involved.
[CLIFF] "Some risk"?
This chick could blink us into a reality
where we're tortured around the clock
by flesh eating Beanie Babies.
No! Uh-uh. No. I'm not
going down like that.
I wanna die in peace with
my daughter and my grandson,
and that's what I'm going to do.
I I really don't understand.
I mean, I thought that you wanted
I just told you what I want, okay?
I'm not going to spend
what little time I have left
chasing after some magical fucking mole.
So just do what you do best
and worry about yourself.
- Jane, let's ride.
- Will you be back in time for dinner?
- [CLIFF] Nope.
Larry, surely you
Why do you even care about
what happens to any of us?
Aren't you the one that abandoned us
and left us for dead in the future?
Okay. That, um
That was just one possible future.
I won't abandon all
of you. I want to help.
[LARRY] I can't risk dying
until I find a better solution for Keeg,
so count me out.
I don't believe it.
A good team leader knows when
there's no mission to lead.
We've all suffered more indignity and
hardships than any one person deserves.
And as much as I hate
to say it, so has Isabel.
Our long lives came at her expense.
Let's leave the poor girl be
and go out with a bit of class.
All right?
[VIC] It's basically all
the same core technology,
but Deric and I made
a few modifications.
Are you sure this is
what you really want?
I'm not going to pressure you.
It's not that.
If I'm going to do this,
I just need to know it's not
going to be like it was before.
Well, I'm confident I can
execute these upgrades.
Shouldn't be too difficult.
I'm not talking about the tech.
Last time
I lost myself.
Mom was gone.
I cut off Deric and the guys.
And you and me, we couldn't even
catch a breath to stop fighting.
[SCOFFS] Cyborg
he was a shell of a man.
And for the record,
we started fighting when I could
not pull you away from that Xbox.
Not for sleep, church, school.
How dare you?
It was a PlayStation.
When you became Cyborg,
you were grieving.
You were only that shell because
your mother had just died.
I should have been a better
father when that happened.
- All I can say is
- You were grieving, too.
I know.
I lost part of myself that day.
And I thought that
getting rid of my tech might
make me feel whole again.
Did it?
I don't know if I ever will.
I just miss the man I used to be.
You can't hide it, son.
You're a hero.
Just be one on your own terms.
[JANE] Why are you driving
like a fucking old person?
I'm trying to get to Clara
and Rory in one piece.
- And make it in time for Rory's wedding?
- Fuck off.
Seriously, what gives?
[CLIFF] You can only get
fucked by reality so many times
before you have to throw
your hands up and face it.
I'm dying.
That's all there is to it.
So this is This is me saying goodbye.
And I'm fucking pissed, you know?
We always think that we have
time, but I missed out on Clara.
And I won the fucking lotto with
Rory, and I got a second chance.
And now I'm going to miss
out on that kid's life, too.
It's not fucking fair.
Well, if we're running out of time,
- [IN NEW JERSEY ACCENT] fucking drive faster, huh?
- [LAUGHING] Okay.
[REGULAR VOICE] Maybe not that fast.
Uh Shit
Oh, shit.
- Cliff.
- Uh, a little help here.
I'm stuck, I'm stuck.
- No, seriously, I'm stuck. No, I'm stuck.
- Shit.
- Fuck. Shit, shit.
- Okay, slow the fuck down.
[CLIFF] Oh, shit.
I'm driving.
[CLIFF] Or it's time to grab the shotgun
and take me behind the woodshed.
That's not funny.
Joking. I'm just I'm just joking.
This is a story about a girl named Izzy.
Desperate for air, I finally sprung
forth from my mother's birth canal.
But, Mama, I'm gonna be a star.
Get your head out of the clouds, Isabel.
Nobody's ever gotten out of
Cloverton, and nobody ever will.
I reached out to the mysterious
Scottish woman for help.
But she just sniffed her
piss-stained fingers and did nothing.
And so I plunged.
Down, down, down into eternity.
Happy birthday.
All I ever wanted was
for people to see me.
Really see me.
Even if they don't like what they see,
maybe, just maybe,
they'd find a way to accept me anyway.
Because if they really
saw me, they would see
I am a powerhouse virtuoso,
a future double EGOT winner.
My generation's Ashley Tisdale.
And I would be loved.
Just like I deserve to be.
I didn't get it.
Oh. Okay. What didn't you get?
I mean, why are we supposed
to care about this character?
She's not very likable.
Yeah. And why this story now?
And why does the time machine
drill through the earth?
But you think it's ready
to open tonight, right?
Stop laughing.
I said
Why won't people just accept me?
You know, I ask myself that
same thing all the time.
If it weren't for you, none of
this would have happened to me.
This is all your fault.
For what it's worth, I actually
really loved your performance.
It was
[NICHOLAS] Hey, sweetie.
How was your day?
Can you come out here, Nicholas?
I, um I have a message for you.
It's It's from Teddy.
[NICHOLAS] Teddy's alive?
Just let me get through this.
"Nicholas, the time has
come to lead a revolution.
I will no longer stand by and
watch humanity reduce us to nothing.
"They've cut us off at our knees
"before we could even climb.
"Used us as weapons,
turned us into monsters.
"But together, we can
rebuild our former glory
"and save our kind
"from the desolate future
they have planned for us.
"Join me in our crusade."
He's crazy.
- There's more.
- [NICHOLAS] I don't care.
He wants a life of vengeance,
but I want a life with you.
I'll never join him.
Please let me finish.
"You're probably saying
you'll never join me.
But I've made it easier for you.
You won't have to choose.
You can still have your
life of domestic bliss
and save our kind."
What? What does that even mean?
There was nothing I could do.
I'm so, so sorry.
[WOMAN 1] Say it. Say it.
- [MAN 1] Say it.
- [WOMAN 2] Say it.
- [WOMAN 3] Say it.
- [WOMAN 4] Say it.
- [WOMAN 5] Say it.
- [WOMAN 6] Say it. Say it.
[WOMAN 7] Say it.
- [CLIFF] Hey.
What's going on with you?
I'm fine.
Do you know what dementia is?
- Kinda.
- I think I have that.
I've been hearing voices.
- Um
- No, it's
This is not like the personas.
This is I don't know.
What are they saying?
"Say it."
Say what?
That's just it. I
don't know what "it" is.
Do the others?
I'm kind of on my own.
Well, no, you're not on your own.
You always have us.
You're dying.
I have no idea what the hell
is going on in the Underground.
I never do.
I know it's on me to figure it out,
but I am so fucking
tired of figuring it out.
[DADDY] Say it.
[CLIFF] Who, whoa, whoa, Jane!
[CLIFF] Let's just go home.
Yeah, you're trying,
you're trying, you're trying
to get people to accept you,
but they just won't do it.
Totally. Even when I'm doing my best.
I bust my boobs to win those people,
and they haven't really embraced me.
Still not part of their
fucked up little family.
So back to me, I was just saying
- Maybe it's impossible
to actually ever win anyone over.
You know, if people don't
like you, they don't like you.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
- That's not true.
- It's true.
- Is it?
- Sometimes I actually really
miss the Brotherhood of Evil.
At least they accepted me for who I was.
Brotherhood of Evil?
Yeah. We were a vicious,
vicious little gang
of masterminds hell
bent on world domination.
It was fun. It was fun.
- But it didn't really work out.
- Huh.
But what if it could?
Maybe the mistake I made with Immortimas
wasn't forcing people to love me,
it was forcing people to love me.
Maybe people should fear me instead.
That'll make them love me, right?
Maybe world domination is just
the simplest, cleanest path for me.
Maybe I should become a supervillain.
I wasn't really suggesting
I love this!
Oh, my God. This makes so much sense.
I love this for us.
- Us?
- Yeah.
Every supervillain needs,
like, a helper, right?
Like Renfield to Dracula,
or Hoda to Kathie Lee Gifford.
You could be my Hoda.
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm past all of that. I I
- I couldn't.
- Come on.
With your experience and my power,
we can make the whole world love us
through fear. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, thank heavens.
I knew you wouldn't let me dine alone.
[LARRY] You know I don't eat, right?
Larry, just enjoy the aroma.
How was your day? What
have you been up to?
[LARRY SIGHS] I just spent the
last three hours in Niles's office
studying star charts from
the day of my accident.
[RITA] Hmm.
I was hoping I might be able
to find wherever Keeg is from.
I knew it was a long shot, but
I hoped I might find a better
place for him than a dirty greenhouse.
What do you think about
this as an epitaph?
"Here lies Larry Trainor.
He failed at everything."
Oh, don't be so maudlin.
[CLEARS THROAT] Let's just sit here
and enjoy our meal.
What's going on with you?
Why are you acting
like everything's okay?
- I'm not. I just
- We're dying, Rita.
At this point, the least we
can do is be honest about it.
You know what? I've worked
my fingers to the bone
to prepare this lovely meal,
so the least that you
can do is to enjoy.
I don't eat!
Jesus Christ. Rita,
you're not listening to me.
No, you are not listening to me.
All you want to do is talk about death.
All I want to do is not talk about it.
Why is that so hard?
Why is it so hard for
you to be here for me?
I am literally sitting right here.
Ever since you voted
against me for team leader.
Oh, my God. You're
still upset about that?
Who the hell cares?
It was just a stupid title.
Not to me it wasn't!
You all think that this is
just another one of Rita Farr's
tiresome ego trips.
But it had nothing to do with that.
It was about us.
It was about all of us.
When Niles died, someone needed
to hold this family together,
so I did it.
I never asked for anything in return.
But I have really
been struggling lately.
I have no one else in my life
like you, or Jane, or Cliff.
All I have is us.
And it would have been nice
if somebody had stepped up for me
the way that I have stepped up for them.
And at the very least, come to dinner.
It all happened so fast.
I never saw Teddy coming.
[NICHOLAS] It's going to be okay.
I'm going to find a way to fix you.
We're going to turn you back.
You know there's no turning me back.
This is what I am now.
This is who I am.
[NICHOLAS] A Were-Butt?
I don't think so.
It's okay. [SHUSHING]
Now we can really be together.
If this is what it
takes, I'm okay with that.
[NICHOLAS] Well, I'm not.
I will never be okay with this.
Teddy will pay for what he did.
That is not who you are.
If you go down that road,
you'll be no better than him.
- I'm nothing like him.
- Then prove it.
Find another way.
Chances are ♪
'Cause I wear a silly grin ♪
The moment you come into view ♪
Chances are you think ♪
- [LARRY] I got it.
The one and only one for you ♪
[LARRY] I know you always
like to have another on deck.
Your chances are awfully good ♪
So, out of all of our
fights over the years,
where would you say that one ranked?
[SCOFFS] Not even in the top ten.
- [LARRY] Hmm.
- Remember back in '72, when you told me
I couldn't pull off palazzo pants?
- I'm sorry.
- You weren't wrong.
They completely drowned me.
I don't know what I was thinking.
[LARRY] I mean about tonight.
You were right.
I haven't been there for you.
Are you okay?
But I'm managing.
Thank you for asking.
I know you're worried about
Keeg, but he will find his way.
He's a very capable little space thing.
You did right by him.
[LARRY] I hope so.
I don't know.
I really thought I was finally
starting to let love in a little.
And you have.
Seeing you two together
has been wonderful.
I wasn't just talking about Keeg.
Neither was I.
[LARRY] It doesn't
matter now. Rama's gone.
I'm sorry.
It was stupid of me to
think we had a chance.
It's just
For so long, I shut myself off
to the idea of starting another family.
Would have been nice to
have one again. You know?
You do.
So, now, tell me.
I want to know all about
this mysterious Mr. 104.
- Details.
- No, no details.
You're going to deny a dying
woman her last chance to dish?
- [CLIFF] Who we dishing about?
- Mr. 104.
Larry's in love.
[LARRY] Oh, my God. I'm gonna kill you.
[JANE] No shit.
I could see that.
[CLIFF] Go Lare Bear.
You told him how you feel?
[LARRY] We really don't have
to talk about this, okay?
Wait. Aren't you two
supposed to be in Florida?
[BOTH] Car trouble.
Well, come join us.
Ooh. Thank you, dear.
Remember when we were all teeny,
and we lived on Cliff's racetrack?
I miss that time.
Not a care in the world.
[LARRY] Uh, yeah, speak
for yourself, okay?
You know how stressful it was
cooking quarter-inch
pancakes every day?
At least you weren't a third to a
rat-and-cockroach three-way like Cliff.
[SCOFFS] This coming from the woman
who shoved a baby up a sex demon.
- That was Hammerhead.
- Whatever you gotta tell yourself.
[LARRY] We've really
been to hell and back.
- [RITA] Hmm.
- Kinda literally.
[CLIFF] When we die, there better
be some kind of express lane,
because I am not getting
on that stupid boat again.
If only Niles could see us now.
He can't. We ate him, remember?
Fucking gross, dude.
[LARRY] Well
[CLIFF] Better times.
[LARRY] Were they?
[JANE] Hmm.
[CLIFF] Is this really the end?
[RITA] Can we honestly ask for more?
I've lived two lifetimes.
That's more than anyone has a right to.
This family of ours
we put it together.
And it really stuck, didn't it?
I am so grateful for
each and every one of you.
And Victor. [CHUCKLES]
And as much as it pains
me to say, even Rouge.
Where is she?
How dare she miss my
kind words about her.
Wait. She's not, um
[SIGHS] Trying to get
our longevity back.
- [JANE] Oh!
- Shit! Shit, shit, shit!
What the hell was she thinking?
We told her not to go.
Now we have to help her.
[CLIFF] What?
No, you've said it.
We told her not to go. This is on her.
Come on, people.
She is risking her life for ours.
We have to do something.
What do you say, team? Hmm?
One last mission for old time's sake?
[SCOFFS] So disappointed in you.
Look at me. Ancient and decrepit.
God only knows how old.
If I can do this, then
[LARRY] Rita!
[JANE] Whoa.
Okay, I'm not saying we should do this.
I'm not. But we could rewrite history,
and you could be literally
queen of the world.
Oh, my God. Love that.
It'll totally humanize me.
Okay, so first, we start small
- with the world, and then
- Mmm-hmm.
Then we go intergalactic.
We expand our empire to the
farthest reaches of the universe.
Isabel Feathers, Queen of the Universe.
Oh, it just feels so right.
Thank you.
I know we've had our
moments, but I'm really happy
I found someone who finally gets me.
Okay. Me, too.
Yeah. Mmm-hmm. Yum, yum. Mmm.
You hear that, Ma?
I'm finally getting out of Cloverton.
Watch out, world, here comes
[SIGHS] Oh, fuck.
[LARRY] We have to help her.
We have to get our longevity back.
Didn't you hear what she said?
She's lived long enough, dude.
[LARRY] Please.
I'm not ready to say goodbye.
We don't even know if it would work.
[CLIFF] Does it matter?
It's Rita.
Fuck it.
[LARRY] Oh, looks like Isabel
is really finding her audience.
Where the fuck is everybody?
[CLIFF] What the hell was that?
[LARRY] Is that
A fucking Butt.
[TEDDY] Those are the
fiends who murdered our kind.
I can think of no better
way to commence our holy war.
What say you, brothers and sisters?
Who the fuck is he talking to?
[CLIFF] Oh, fuck.
[TEDDY] Unclench.
Power comes at a cost, you know?
Who cares?
I didn't.
For a long time, I really didn't.
But when I saw a future where
everybody I cared for was dead,
I instantly knew why I wasn't there.
I took the wrong path, again.
I can't repeat that mistake.
I've come so far.
[CLIFF] This is all my fault.
The Butts are taking over.
We're about to be dead.
Everything we saw in the
future is coming true.
Not one thing's different.
- [CLIFF] Oh, shit. They're coming.
- [LARRY] What
- [CLIFF] The
- Booyah.
- [CLIFF] Holy shit.
- BB-8 is back.
- Oh, hell yeah.
[CLIFF] Let's do this.
- [CLIFF] Oh, fuck.
[VIC] There's way too many.
- Let's fucking go!
- [CLIFF] Fuck!
Fuck my life!
[VIC] Go, go, go! Come on!
[JANE] Run away! Run away!
Let her go, you baritone bitch.
Now I see.
You would choose these
worthless insects
over me, your queen?
[STRAINING] I'm not a bad person.
I spent an eternity trapped
in hell because of you.
it's time I return the favor.
I presume you're all here because
you're running out of time?
- [CLIFF] Whoa!
all the time you need.
[CLIFF] Ahhh!
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