Drop Dead Diva s02e05 Episode Script

Senti-Mental Journey

A super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, And the only people who really know what's going on with me Are my girlfriend stacy and my guardian angel, fred.
I used to think everything happened for a reason Whoo! And, well, I sure hope I was right.
Breakfast of champions? Twizzlers are a food group, aren't they? I don't want to live in a world where they're not.
I heard that tony left for d.
How are you doing with that? Uh, I'm really excited for him.
It's a great opportunity.
Yeah, it's the pits.
The worst.
Hey, how about I take you out for a real breakfast? I've got nothing till 10:00.
That sounds great.
Jane, the a.
's on the phone.
I'm busy.
You gotta go downtown and bail someone out.
I have a full caseload.
You're gonna want to do this one.
Trust me, I don't.
It's your mother.
Rain check.
Hope she's okay.
*He was her man * * oh, yeah, and he done her wrong * Loretta, that's your cue! Let's do it again.
Oh! * frankie and johnny were lovers, oh! * Oh.
Janie! Oh, you look fantastic! Oh, thank you.
Um, are you okay? I'm terrific.
You're terrific? You're inJail.
I- I didn't even know you were in town.
It was a spontaneous trip.
I went to the theater, saw "chicago," Which by the way, fantabulous.
And then I thought I'd do a little shopping.
I was totally minding my own business when God, you look gorgeous in cool colors! You know you're a winter.
I know.
So, mom, I have your file here.
Assault, disorderly conduct, Indecent exposure? What happened? I was hot.
I took my sandals off and had my feet in the fountain When this ignoramus mall cop told me I had to get out! I was defending myself, and Things got a little out of hand.
The police took a blood-alcohol test.
Were you drinking? Of course not! When did fashion square become tiananmen square? This is serious! Oh, poo-poo-poo.
I know how to cheer you up.
* I used to think maybe you loved me * * now, baby, I'm sure * * and I just can't wait till the day * * you knock on my door * Mom * now every time I go for the mailbox * * gotta hold myself down * Please stop.
Sing with me.
* 'cause I just can't wait till you write me * Okay, we have to go to court now.
Are you sure you're okay? I'm fantabulous! Bye, girls! Oh, yeah.
Hello, fred.
I'm late.
I know.
It's an interesting story.
I was on the 780 crosstown bus And transferred to the 757, But there was a water-main break, So I ran the eight blocks to catch the 335 I thought you carpooled with jane.
When we can, But, uh, sometimes I have to take the bus 'cause I don't know how to drive.
Well, if you want to keep this job, learn! Hello, mr.
I was, uh, looking for the deposition for the Cooper case.
Fred, get the cooper depo for mr.
Right away.
Uh There's something on your lip, sir.
It's, uh, it's right about - it's right about here.
Is that lipstick? Tangerine dream.
Kim had me get some for her Yesterday.
It's a good color on you, sir.
Is this something I'm gonna have to worry about? absolutely not.
Understood? Completely.
Does he still need me to get the cooper deposition? What do you think? Excuse me.
You're a lawyer, right? Last I checked.
Who are you? I'm joan finer.
I don't have an appointment, And, according to every other lawyer I spoke to, I don't have a case.
So you snuck past reception And found a junior associate Without an assistant to stop you.
Are you gonna kick me out? Not until I hear it.
I'm an idiot.
Not a great start.
I invested all of my money with max adams.
Oh, no.
I never should have trusted him.
But he was max adams.
His company had been around for decades.
I never dreamed it was some sort of ponzi scheme.
Yeah, he was very good at what he did until he got caught.
I bust my ass on a teacher's salary, And he is out on bail, Probably having lobster for lunch.
MrKent I want my money back, And I am willing to fight for it.
Finer You've come to the right guy.
Did you just roll your eyes at me, miss davenport? Hello? I'm not your mother.
I'm a superior court judge.
And I hold your fate in my hands.
So knock it off! Ooh, she seems mean.
Actually, she's fair.
And a friend.
Okay, on the criminal-mischief conviction, Which covers all of your colorful graffiti, I'm sentencing you to 60 days of art school At the Lynwood correctional facility.
Enjoy your stay.
Docket ending 342, The state of california vs.
Elaine Bingum? Your honor, The defendant is charged with aggravated assault And indecent exposure.
The state recommends And that bail be set at $10,000.
What?! That's insane! It's appropriate, your honor.
Counselor, could you approach the bench? Yeah.
Jane, is that your mother? Yes.
Are you sure you should be representing her? Yes, it's fine.
I mean, I know what I'm doing.
Suit yourself.
Proceed, counsel.
Your honor, my client should be released On her own recognizance.
There is a perfectly good explanation for her actions.
Indecent exposure? Well, it wouldn't be if I was 19.
It's only "indecent" because I'm over 50.
My client is Is truly remorseful for her actions.
This is hardly the face of remorse.
Really? I'm ordering a psychological evaluation.
Well, that's a total waste of time.
You're not helping.
And I'm granting the r.
Thank you, your honor.
On one condition That she's released into your custody.
You have to keep a tight rein on her, miss Bingum.
Do you understand? Oh, we get it.
We're glued at the hip.
Oh Right, janie? That's rightMom.
It was 100 degrees, for pete's sake! Mom, I will handle this.
Three little misdemeanors? What do you say we dismiss with time served And call it a day? I'd like to help, but that would be malfeasance, Given your mother's priors.
" Ooh! Sounds dirty.
Priors? What are you talking about, priors? He must have seen my rap sheet! You have a rap sheet?! Convicted of shoplifting, trespassing, arson All in the past few years.
Jane, my hands are tied.
How could you not tell me you had priors? What do you mean? You knew about the shoplifting.
You got me off! I did? Well, like I was gonna, you know, steal a $500 wallet.
I didn't know it was still in my hand When I walked out of the store.
We're lucky that judge thought I was adorable.
What about the arson? I- I was having a little luau, And my tiki torches Accidentally set the neighbor's tool shed on fire.
That thing was an eyesore anyways.
And the trespass? I was using a neighbor's jacuzzi.
How was I to know that their trip to borneo Would be cut short by a typhoon? It's all so ridiculous! Okay.
You have to tell me the truth.
Do you have a drinking problem? I enjoy a fuzzy navel every now and again, But I am no booze hound.
We are very sorry about your client's financial predicament, But there's nothing we can do.
You promised a 20% return.
You said my money was secure.
You had strategies, experience.
You cleaned me out! You have my sympathy, miss finer, But my philosophy has always been, Investments, like life, are unpredictable.
When you hand over money, it's a calculated gamble.
Is that a life lesson, mr.
Adams? 'cause you're under indictment.
You're the last one who should be teaching anybody anything.
Hanson, I think if you look at what our client is asking for Because what you call a calculated gamble, I call a con! How's this for a life lesson?! Never trust a scum-sucking bottom feeder! You'll excuse us? Let's go.
You like to kick a man when he's down? When he deserves it.
Maybe you didn't hear the news.
Adams was just diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.
You have a nice day.
"the rulings of justice william o.
" Snore! honestly I don't know how you made it Through law school without lapsing into a coma.
You know, I got the smarts to be a lawyer, even a judge.
I always know exactly what judge judy ends up saying.
Here you go, elaine.
You left your purse in the ladies' room.
Oh, for crying out loud! I was busy talking to the girl in the next stall.
Yeah, that was me.
The l.
Just faxed over A copy of her blood test.
No alcohol.
What did I tell you? But there were trace metabolites of escitalopram.
Trace metabolites? Well Aren't you mrs.
David caruso? I was feeling a little blue, And my g.
Gave me a prescription For antidepressants - no biggie.
What if there is something actually wrong with you, Like an aneurysm or a tumor? Can't you just accept That your mother's a little eccentric? She thinks I should be staying home all day baking cookies.
Cookie! That might hit the spot.
Are there still free oreos in the kitchen? Yeah.
Okay I don't understand this.
She was not like this when she was here before.
No, there's definitely something going on.
I mean, she's always been offbeat, but now she's just off.
Maybe it's menopause.
No way.
There's been no weeping, Sweating, or throwing a flank steak.
My mom had a rough time.
The doctor doing the psych evaluation called.
He needs a family member to back up her medical history.
Maybe my dad can help with this.
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
Since they split up, You say his name, she walks out the door.
Well, then, I'll call him.
But you haven't talked to henry in, like, forever.
Well, then, maybe forever ends today.
You have a 2:00 p.
Deposition at Gottwald & Suskind And a 3:15 conference call with gary simmons.
Uh We still on for lunch? Absolutely.
But you brought your lunch today.
Vietnamese chicken wrap.
I'll get my jacket.
What was that? I was just reminding you You don't have to go to lunch because you - you I'll be back when I'm back, and I was serious earlier Learn how to drive.
Teri, you must be a good driver Since you fit your big s.
In that tiny "compact only" spot every morning.
Yes, I am an excellent driver.
Will you teach me? You don't know how? Nobody drives where I'm from.
Oh, you're from new york? A little Further north.
What's in it for me? Lunch.
I've done more for less.
Great! Thanks for babysitting elaine - my mom.
Oh, and if she asks, do not tell her I'm meeting henry My dad - she'll freak out.
No problem.
So, what do you wear to meet a father you've never met? Seersucker - light and breezy.
It was a rhetorical question.
Well, then, definitely denim.
Going out? UhYeah.
Is it a date? No.
What's he like? Uh, I've never met him before.
Oh, a blind date.
Those are a crapshoot.
One time I was set up with a guy who brought his mother.
At least she could dance.
oh, god! I feel like driving to vegas! Don't worry.
It'll be okay.
Thanks, stace.
I am nervous.
I mean, teri says I haven't talked to my dad in 10 years, And I have no idea why.
Well, maybe you did something really awful, And he hasn't forgiven you yet.
That's really comforting.
OrHe did something unforgivable.
Or maybe we never got along.
This is crazy! I am in the middle of a family drama, And it's not even my family! No! It's really nice to see you.
You just said that.
But it's nice to see you, too Dad.
It's been a long time, jellybean.
So, like I was saying on the phone, We really need to talk about mom.
You know, I'm actually surprised you ordered a drink.
Why? Am I allergic? No! no.
But after your feminist studies class, You swore off liquor Because the patriarchal and sexist alcohol industry Objectified women through their advertising.
Well, I guess I got over that.
Come with me to mom's doctor's appointment tomorrow.
Not a good idea.
But I don't understand what's going on with her.
Welcome to my world.
The last few years with her were tough.
One day, she'd want to open a bed & breakfast in maui.
The next, she'd bring home french bulldogs to breed.
But she wasn't always like that, right? Oh, god, no.
Oh, we had so much fun.
We'd go dancing and hiking.
Fridays were always game night, remember? Uh-huh.
Yeah! Mom would make her chicken pot pie, And we'd play charades And laugh for hours.
Oh, felt like the luckiest guy in the world.
Then it changed.
I couldn't reach her.
So, what about me? What about you? We haven't spoken in a long time.
I left you so many messages.
I understand why you didn't call me back.
You were angry 'cause I left your mother.
But I swear to you, The last thing I ever wanted Was to hurt you.
"scum-sucking bottom feeder"? I've never seen you lose it like that.
Yeah, well, I meant it.
Your face was purple.
At least he knows exactly how I feel.
And our client enjoyed the show.
But what's next? You're dropping this case.
What? I just got off the phone with mr.
Adams' attorney.
Even if you win, your client won't see a dime.
What are you doing, grayson? I know it's a long shot - it's a lost cause.
Adams' remaining assets will be liquidated To pay his legal fees - which, by the way, Are going to Bellson and tweed.
Do you know how much work they send our way? You're stepping on their toes.
I want you both to cut your losses.
The image of jesus on a pancake Went for $15,000 on eBay And I'm the one who needs a psychological exam? puh-lease.
Henry?! Hello, elaine.
What is he doing here? I asked him to come.
You ambushed me! Don't blame jane.
She's just trying to help.
Well, how do you like that? Two against one.
Some things never change.
That's not how it was, and you know it.
Can we not do this here, please? I'm leaving! This exam isn't voluntary.
Hi, I'm dr.
Bingum, why don't you come in? * one, two, three, four * Move it! What the Come on! Get off the road! See? I'm a natural.
Don't talk.
I'm nauseous.
Look, there's a lot of things they don't teach you in the dmv handbook Like, if someone pisses you off, Just lay on your horn and use your middle finger.
Horn, middle finger.
Got it.
You in the jeep, pull over.
Hey! But you - you said Not to a cop! You don't have a license! Just pull over and make something up! Uh, tell him I'm sick And you're driving me to the hospital.
License and registration.
Uh I'm assuming you don't have a license.
Uh, that's correct, officer.
I'm sorry.
It's - it's embarrassing to admit.
Um, I-I'm an - I'm an adult, And I don't know how to drive.
Thank you for your honesty.
Most people make up some sort of b.
About being sick, Having to go to the hospital, to get out of the ticket.
How lame is that? Well, I'm giving you a warning.
Your back taillight is out.
That's it? I'd suggest you take over the wheel Until yourBoyfriend here gets his learner's permit.
Him and me? No, no, no.
I'm just his driving instructor.
Hey, your, uh, badge says, "to protect and defend.
" That is what I do.
Really? Auxiliary police? Uh, sort of.
You have a nice smile.
Thank you, officer.
You, um, you have very attractive ears.
If it isn't inappropriate, Maybe we should grab a drink sometime? IWould enjoy that, officer.
I'm jocelyn.
Give me your number, and I'll give you a call.
There you are.
Take care of that taillight.
I love driving.
So, based on my examination, I have concluded your mother is bipolar.
What?! I am not crazy! If I'm crazy, then half this city is.
Have you ever been to a 24-hour doughnut shop? Everyone is certifiable! It's very common for people with bipolar disorder To feel as if nothing is wrong.
Nothing is wrong! I feel fantastic! Elaine, you feel great now Because you're in a manic state.
But there's another side of the syndrome Which manifests as depression.
If your condition is left untreated, It can be dangerous.
But it can be treated, right? With the right medication, therapy, and exercise, You can lead a completely normal life.
I am living a normal life! My normal! Elaine, please don't run away from this.
This is none of your business, henry.
You cheated on me.
Elaine! You left me! You do not get a vote on my life! I still haven't heard from officer jocelyn.
You know how people are.
They buy you a drink, Tell you you're hotter than Lucy Liu, Say they're gonna call, Then nothing - jerk.
It's her.
Try not to sound too desperate.
I was afraid you wouldn't call.
Oh, that's perfect.
Uh, t-tomorrow's great.
At harrison & parker Or I could take the bus.
I can't wait.
She's picking me up here.
What am I gonna wear? Well, since she's wearing the pants, I'd go with a tube top and short shorts.
The sarcasm? It's borderline bitter.
Do you think I'm bitter? Um Jane available? Hey.
How's it going with your mom? Oh.
Thanks for asking.
Don't ask.
So, I hear parker's not real happy with you.
That would be an understatement.
But I'm not dropping this case.
You know, I saw max adams and his girlfriend In the paper today.
There's a woman who has a radar for money.
Well, her radar's malfunctioning.
I've subpoenaed all his financial records.
He's got nothing left.
Well, she's not with him For the quiet evenings of chess and chopin, So there's cash somewhere.
Are you saying I missed something, That I'm not doing a good job? No.
I- I just was making an observation.
You're really taking this case personally.
Why? IFeel bad for my client.
She's a teacher, lost everything.
I believe that you care about your client.
But you never lose your temper.
You don't know me that well, jane! Right.
I gotta go.
This says the symptoms of bipolar syndrome Were first described in the second century.
People have been moody for a very long time.
Hey, uh, jane, cou Um Can - can I, uh Talk to you for a minute? What's up? Excuse me.
I, uh, I need your help.
Um, is it wrong for me to go out with somebody else When I'm still in love with I mean, I like this woman Officer jocelyn - but we both know that Is the one.
You can go out with whomever you want until Is interested.
God, I'm going stir crazy! Oh, will you let me go out to the patio, Or do I have to wear a gps anklet? Well, actually, I'm, uh, I'm going to the mall To pick out some new threads.
Yay! You want to come with me? If it's okay with el comandante.
You could buy something To wear for the hearing tomorrow.
Oh, I promise to get something that screams, "normal.
" Fred, do not let her out of your sight.
Or anywhere near a fountain.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Okay, this book says bipolar disorder is genetic.
So that means I could have inherited it.
There's so much I don't know about this body.
Oh! Never mind.
The onset usually occurs between the ages of 15 and 30.
You're way past that.
Oh, that was fast.
I'm My dad! Oh! Um, nice to meet you.
I'm stacy.
Can weTalk? Sure.
Oh! I'll be in my room.
So, I'm glad we're back in touch again.
I've really missed you.
Yeah, I'm - I'm sorry I didn't call you sooner.
I guess I just wasn't ready till now.
It's okay.
I came by to let you know I'm heading back to palm springs.
Why? I- I was really hoping you would be in court tomorrow.
See, the judge might be a little more lenient on mom Because we can show that she's bipolar.
Your mom wants nothing to do with me.
I just get her angry.
But she needs your help.
She needs to help herself.
So you're just gonna leave again? I know you care about her.
I do.
But until she deals with her problem, Nothing is ever gonna change.
I'm sorry, jellybean.
Where do you want to go? Food.
Kent, back away, or I will move forward with a restraining order.
I just want to apologize.
I'm terribly sorry, sir.
I would never raise my voice to a dying man Especially one with such a large life-insurance policy.
Life-insurance policies are exempt from lawsuits like yours.
I'm aware of that.
That's why we intend to pursue Reesa Venable, The beneficiary of the $5 million policy.
He can't do that Can he? Given the circumstances, I think a court might find the entire policy To be a fraudulent conveyance.
Is parker aware you're continuing with this nonsense? That's my business, not yours.
Well, this isn't the time or place.
My office.
It's classic manic behavior Impulsive, reckless, poor judgment, An inflated sense of importance.
Oh, come on.
It's funny! Shh! Mrs.
Bingum! Please, try to respect these proceedings.
Continue, counselor.
Landers, You examined mrs.
Will you please share your conclusions with the court? She meets the criteria for bipolar disorder Under section 340.
2 of the "dsm.
" At the time of the incident, Her blood work revealed the presence Of an antidepressant called escitalopram.
Is that a proper way to treat bipolar disorder? No.
When a bipolar patient is given escitalopram, It can trigger a full-on manic phase.
I believe that's what happened to mrs.
She was no longer in control of her actions.
"no longer in control.
" Thank you.
Landers If a patient knew she were bipolar And asked for a prescription of antidepressants, Wouldn't she then be responsible for her own actions? Yes, of course.
Were you aware that ms.
Elaine bingum Was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 15 years ago? Is that true? I had no idea.
Medical records from the Yucaipa health clinic First diagnosing ms.
Elaine bingum with bipolar disorder.
June 1995.
Oh, stop talking about me like I'm not in the room! judge Okay, that's enough.
I want defense counsel in my chambers now! Stacy, go! What? Please go! What the hell's going on, jane? If you tried to hide the fact That your mom was previously diagnosed with this disorder, You're guilty of perjury.
I didn't know.
She's your mother, jane.
How did you not know? Well, no one knew.
I mean, not even my father, And that is the truth.
All right, well, go out there, Find her, and bring her back.
I will.
Yeah, I promise.
And if she disappears, jane, I'm gonna have to issue a warrant For both of you.
Whoa, whoa.
I thought I told you to drop your case.
I don't want the firm involved.
The firm isn't involved.
I amended the notice of appearance to my home address.
I'm doing this on my own.
Then get a table at denny's, not in my conference room.
Bill me.
You're violating your employment agreement.
Then fire me.
Our top associates have researched Mr.
Adams' life-insurance policy And assure me it's bulletproof.
"your top associates"? That can be pretty pricey.
What do you bill them at, $400 an hour? That's not relevant.
It is to whoever's paying the bill, Which is ultimately ms.
In order to pay their associates, They have to borrow against the life-insurance policy.
The more they borrow, The less you get when mr.
Adams passes away.
Instead of talking about our fees, We should discuss withdrawal of your claim.
Do the math.
You can continue to allow them to blow through your money To pay for this zealous defense, Or you can cut a reasonable deal to my client right now.
Reesa, they're harassing you into a settlement.
Don't let them do this.
It's about the principle.
The principle? Does that mean you'll be waiving your fees? We can win this.
That's not what I asked.
Miss finer I'll agree to pay you everything you lost.
Plus attorney fees.
As long as we keep this out of the press.
And you're no longer representing me.
Max, talk to her.
You heard the lady.
You're off the clock.
I'll draw up the papers.
Thank you! Hey.
Thanks, stace.
No problem.
Oh, um Your mom threw her shoes down a storm drain, So I gave her the Swarovski crystal flip-flops That I had in my car.
They will look great in court.
You can dress them up or down.
Thanks, stace.
You're welcome.
Are you okay? I know that you are upset, But I'm only doing what I think is right.
Please talk to me.
* I used to think maybe you loved me * * now, baby, I'm sure * * and I just can't wait till the day * * when you knock on my door * * now every time I go for the mailbox * * gotta hold myself down * * 'cause I just can't wait till you write me * * you're coming around * Honey, I didn't mean to keep it from you.
I just felt so ashamed.
I barely admitted being bipolar to myself.
That is the first time I have ever said it out loud.
You don't have to be embarrassed.
But you do have to deal with it.
I tried the drugs.
They made me feel like somebody else.
I would look in the mirror, And I wouldn't even recognize myself.
You have no idea what that is like.
Try me.
I have been doing some reading, And the medications have really improved.
The doctor just has to find the right balance.
It scares me, janie.
I know.
I know, mom.
Welcome back, mrs.
Let me tell you how we will proceed.
There will be no more wasting of the court's time.
You either make a commitment to go into a treatment program, Or you go to jail.
Your honor, may I please implore No, mr.
Saginaw, you may not.
You will go along with this decision, or, trust me, Next time you are in my courtroom, I will remember you.
There is one caveat, And that is that someone Needs to be responsible for mrs.
Bingum While she's in outpatient treatment.
I will, your honor.
If elaine promises to get on the right medication And stay on it, I'd like to move back in with her If she'll have me.
Your honor, can we have a moment? Take your time, counselor.
Thank you.
I know you believe I cheated on you, But I never did.
Elaine, I- I never stopped loving you.
I just couldn't live with you.
But if this medication has a chance Of bringing you back to me I want to take that chance.
I know you didn't cheat on me, henry.
I was so ashamed of the way I acted, It was easier to blame you.
Can you forgive me? I already have.
Your honor, mr.
Bingum has agreed To take responsibility for mrs.
Elaine bingum is remanded Into her ex-husband's supervision.
thank you.
thank you, janie.
After your family reunion, could I see you, counselor, In my chambers, please? You wanted to see me? One time, early in my very distinguished career, I threatened to quit my job When the managing partner wanted to pull my case.
What happened? I was terminated.
I called Bellson and tweed and told them you were fired.
I understand.
Then they asked my permission to hire you.
What? They said they could use someone like you.
Said they didn't like that you took the case But were impressed by how you won it.
What did you say? That I wasn't letting you go.
Now get back to your office and work on your billable hours.
Yes, sir.
Come on in.
The usual? Uh, sure.
But no nuts.
No wet walnuts? Oh, jane, please.
Tell me you're not turning into one of those twits who counts calories.
Um, listen.
I can't thank you enough.
I really appreciate I know.
Let's leave it at that, okay? I don't do gratitude very well.
You know, I liked your family.
They're good people.
They are.
I always thought it was strange That you never really spoke about 'em.
Uh, well, I guess I was Embarrassed.
Well, don't be.
You know, once, my mom stabbed my dad With a kebab skewer.
What?! Mm-hmm.
Was she bipolar, too? No.
What are you doing here? It's after 5:00.
I'm looking for you.
Jane, I'm sorry about before.
You were right.
I- I treated my case personally.
Well, that - it happens.
No, I overreacted with you, and you deserve to know why.
It's my dad.
He was scammed by a guy like max adams.
It destroyed my parents' marriage.
Wait, but your parents are still together.
They're so happy.
Alan is my stepfather.
What? My father lost everything.
He left when I was 3.
I never saw him again.
I- I'm so sorry.
Yeah, mom and alan married a few years later.
I love him like a father.
But I've always wondered what would have happened If my dad hadn't been ripped off.
Grayson, I had no idea.
You - you never said anything.
Well, it is kind of personal, right? Right.
Uh, yes.
Of course.
The good news is, I got my client everything she lost.
Well, your father would be proud.
How do I look? I'm not sure about the stripes.
Do they make my shoulders look tooBoyish? Relax, princess.
Just be yourself.
That's what she liked about you in the first place.
I don't get it, but go with it.
Got it.
* unh, unh * * ah, ah * * oh, sock it to me, oh * * she made me go, "oh, oh" * * oh * hi Officer jocelyn.
You, um, you look amazing.
you can call me jocelyn.
Oh, right.
No, I-I just I, um, I-I hardly recognized you without your Badge.
Oh, yeah, well, there's, uh Nowhere to pin it.
Should we go? Yeah, sure.
Um Listen, uh, since our relationship Is based on honesty, I should tell you something.
UmYou are incredible, And - and I-I am so excited about our date, But I'm - I'm totally in love with another woman.
However, she is unavailable to me right now, So let's go out and have a blast! Yeah.
You know, I should be perfectly honest with you, too.
You are a major jackass! I- I thought you - you liked my honesty.
I'd like to taser you.
But instead, I'll just give you another warning Don't ever - ever Be that honest again.
You have got to be kidding me.
I wouldn't have had a good time If I didn't tell her the truth.
Your dream girl better be worth it.
She is.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Three words.
Three - three syllables.
Three syllables, right? Wait.
Is it the first syllable? Is it two syllables or Five syllables?! wow.
Well, how'd it go from three syllables Oh! Jane! Thank god you're Hi.
Will you please tell stacy that maya angelou Is not a resort in mexico? Well, then, where did my manicurist get engaged? Oh! Saved by the bell.
Chicken potpie coming right up! Never thought I'd hear that again.
You're a gift to me, jellybean.
Always have been.
Hold on, let me help.
For the first time, I feel like they're really my family.
I mean, I love them.
Ooh, good smell.
And I can't wait for them to leave.
me too.
* I'm walking on sunshine * * whoa-oh * * and don't it feel good? * * hey * * all right, now * * and don't it feel good? *
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