Drop Dead Diva s02e11 Episode Script

That was me -- deb -- until the day I died.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, But there was a bit of a mix-up And I woke up in someone else's body.
[ screams .]
So now I'm jane, A super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, And the only people who really know what's going on with me Are my girlfriend stacy and my guardian angel, fred.
I used to think everything happened for a reason Whoo! [ laughs .]
And, well, I sure hope I was right.
Hi i'd like a Double decaf nonfat caramel macchiato.
But instead of caramel, can I get a skosh of vanilla syrup? And can you make it cold -- but not too cold So it's refreshing but it doesn't hurt my teeth? Woman: You've got to be kidding me.
Excuse me? Yeah.
OhMyGod.
You're j-jane.
I mean, before I became jane.
Why am I taller than you? Because, missBooty bounce You're wearing Which are impractical, cause lower-back disk compression, While I am wearing comfortable shoes That don't hate women.
Okay.
[ chuckles .]
Heels create a line, elongating my silhouette.
It is not your silhouette.
It's mine! You are walking around in my body, Driving my porsche, with my bank account.
Look, who gave you the right to take over my life? [ cellphone ringing .]
just one moment.
It's my phone.
Don't you dare answer that phone while I'm talking to y-- Shh.
[ ringing continues .]
hey! I deserve some respect! [ echoing .]
hey! Ohh.
Good morning.
You in the mood for an algae/tofu omelet? It'll make your skin glow and intestines flow.
I'd rather chew on my briefcase.
ButThank you.
So, I just had a dream that old jane was yelling at me.
Fred: Jane, we're late! [ clears throat .]
Kind of like that.
Ah Fred.
Uh, you in the mood for an algae/tofu omelet? That sounds Delicious But I am already glowing and flowing.
Um, jane, I'll be in the car.
Stacy Have a great day.
[ chuckles .]
Sweetie.
Hmm? Do you know what you just did? Is this a riddle? I love riddles.
You wiped off your zit cream when fred came in the room.
That's not a riddle.
You only do that when you care about the way you look.
Like when the cute guy comes to fix the elliptical -- Which I think you broke on purpose last time.
Is it possible that you like fred? What? [ laughing .]
no.
Fred? Mnh-mnh.
Fred -- I mean -- [ scoffs lightly .]
He's just fred.
Just fred.
[ clears throat .]
If you say so.
Bye, sweetie.
Bye.
[ door opens, closes .]
No.
So, I'm thinking the montage in laguna this weekend? The sea, the sand, and a very attentive manservant? Mm.
I like that idea.
Although I don't know.
It all depends.
My boss might expect me to work, Seeing as how he just pulled me into another one of his cases.
Your boss did that? What's up with that guy? I need to talk to him.
[ elevator bell dings .]
[ both clear throat .]
[ elevator bell dings .]
What was that about? What? Eileen.
She works at a p.
R.
Firm on the seventh floor.
Oh.
[ inhales deeply .]
Let me guess -- you used to date her.
Yes.
Yes, I did.
SoWhat went wrong? What do you mean? Why don't you talk to her? BecauseIt's over.
What is there to say? Apparently, nothing.
What's that? A clown.
Good.
You see it, too.
He was in reception, but deedee got all wigged out, So she put him in here.
Teri, didn't kim and I reserve the conference room for my 9:00? You did, but I put your client in your great big office.
I didn't think you'd mind.
Bingum, get the clown out of there.
It's disruptive.
Why me? Because, jane, he's your 9:00.
I produce a reality show called "the one.
" We've been on the air for 11 seasons.
I never miss it.
Unless someone deletes it off my dvr.
I'm sure it was an accident.
Tell me about the program.
Oh, one handsome, eligible bachelor Chooses his bride-to-be from 30 desperate hopefuls.
And one of the hopefuls is suing you? Wendy simon.
No way.
"weeping wendy"? [ chuckles .]
uh, this season's runner-up.
Everyone thought she was the one, But then in the final episode, in a huge upset, He chose annabelle.
Wendy went to pieces -- screaming, tears, Snot running out of her nose.
I watch in hd.
It's a total train wreck.
Oh, but fantastic television.
It's like watching a nervous breakdown Sponsored by volumizing shampoo.
Uh, she's suing me For intentional infliction of emotional harm.
A.
J.
, all of your contestants sign release forms, correct? Yes.
Yeah, of course.
I'll file a motion to dismiss.
We'll be done by lunch.
Hello.
[ chuckles nervously .]
Um, I'm jane bingum.
Uh, evan robbins.
Nice to meet you.
[ glass clangs .]
Uh, it's my pleasure.
[ chuckles .]
I- t's okay.
I thought there might be a buzzer.
Ah.
I get that a lot.
[ laughs .]
So, on the phone, you said "wrongful termination," But you didn't give me any details.
Right -- IWanted to make sure You'd at least meet with me before saying no.
Okay.
[ chuckles lightly .]
Uh, can I get you something to drink -- water or coffee? N- no, thank you.
It smears the smile.
Of course.
So, wrongful termination Were you fired from the circus? Uh, I'm a sales-account manager for context communications, A mobile-service provider.
And why were you let go? I'm pretty sure it's for dressing like a clown.
Oh.
Right.
[ chuckles .]
How long have you been dressing like a clown? About six months.
Um, these are my employment records.
My reviews are excellent, and I've been promoted The times over the last four years.
Hm.
Well, that's very impressive.
SoWhy not just stop wearing that? I don't want to.
It says one month fore you started wearing that, You took two weeks off for bereavement.
May I ask why? Uh, my, um M- my wife died In a car accident.
M -- I'm sorry.
Look, I-I appreciate you taking your time, And I don't expect you to understand what I've been through, So if you don't want to represent me, it's okay.
I didn't say that.
No, I saw the way everyone in your office was looking at me.
And I don't want to cause any problems, so -- Evan.
I will absolutely take your case.
[ chuckles .]
Damn it, bingum.
I just got your new-client memo.
You're representing the clown.
To be ear, harrison & parker is not a novelty firm.
Well, noto be argumentative, But didn't we ju litigate chimp-custody case? Yes, and the chimp was appropriately dressed.
This case waste of time.
It was their third anniversary.
His wife died in a car aident.
Evan isGrieving.
I'm against this.
Duly noted.
You just heard how parker feels need a second about my client.
Well, the guy's grieving for hiwife.
I might ha some insights.
Right.
- Of cour.
I'd love your help.
Yes, two v.
I.
P.
Tickets tohe "kiss and meup" expo.
Sure.
I'll hold.
Again.
That's t pmier makeup-styling eve.
Those tickets are way expensive.
All for a symposium Lled "cheekbones: The power of " IDon't get it.
It'sne-on-one sessions with the world's gatest makeuprtists, Who are giving away all their secrets and tons of samples.
It's fabous.
An.
.
They're for stacy, aren't they? It's all a part of the wooing proces Okay.
[ dial te .]
Wha-- why did you that? I had to listen to justin timberlake Sing "sexyback" 15 times just to get that far.
We neeto talk -- in private.
You can't woo stacy.
Why? You're going to get hurt.
What are y talking about? Sty has dating a.
D.
D.
One time, she met a guy at spin ass.
They went for coffee, And she broke up with him before she got her latte.
Why? Because he was wearin.
They went for coffee, Usually, y just ke fun of me for tryingto get her.
Before she got her latte.
Why are you so serious all of a sudden? Sighs .]
Fred, there is a chance -- Just maybe -- Thattacy might like you.
"like" like yo "like you.
" What?! What did she say? She didn't say anything, but she's my best friend.
Oh, god! I w-w-want toShout and -- and -- and -- and cry All the same time! And u have a- a furred brow.
E you really worried that stacy might hurt me? Because I don't have a proem with that.
Fred, last time when youissed stacy, You disappeared.
And I dot want that to happen again,kay? Oh.
I see.
I broke their rules.
See, when you startedorry cking up your life And they sent me back, I made a new deal.
I- I can kiss all I want, I- I can have a relationship, And it's totally okay.
[ scoffs .]
Listen, I am your guardian angel, And I am here to sta And I can't believ that stacy mighteally like me! No, I am nottot.
I said I haa feeling.
Well, I have a feeling, too.
I am bringing sexy back.
Wow.
Don't ever say that agn.
Your honor, a.
J.
Fowle the proder of "the one," Seout to humiliate my client on national television.
That's ridiculous.
There was no mal-ient.
We move to dismiss.
Mr.
Fowler manipulated footage to make wendy appearUnhinged.
I thk the legal term is "tougcookies.
" The conttant is aware That she may be emrrassed, surprised, and/or humiliated.
Signednd initialed.
End of story.
A lease form canno in priiple, Relieve producer of all responsibility.
Yo honor, thiss not something -- Enou.
She's right.
That's for a jury to decide.
Motion to dismisdenied.
[ gavel bangs .]
As head of human resources, I warned mr.
Robbins That histtire was inapopriate annonstandard.
His performance reco is stellar.
Yes, it is.
So thewhy not considerhis perso? Wearing a clown suit is simply part of his grieving process.
And I'm sorry for youross, but I received 27 complats Lodged against mr.
Robbins by felloemployees.
Okay.
You sound like a fair person.
So what if my client were to agree Return to standard attire after a certain time frame? Say, uh, one month from today? If we got something on paper, I think I could persuade my boss.
Can we just slow down for a second? I'm sorry, but we can't ask our client to accept those terms.
Can we talk outside? You don't have to.
No deal.
Evan, you haven't even considered the deal.
And I won't.
Ms.
Bing, my company wants to avoid litigation, But we can't negotiate with unreasonable partners.
What the hell happened in there? We were about to settle.
Maybe, but not in a way that works for evan.
You offereto help, and that is not what I call help.
You can't put a ticking clock on grief, jane.
We can't ask him to do that.
You're second chair.
You n't have the authority.
I offered second-chair Because I understand what evan's going through.
So, the judge threw out the release, So it doesn't mater ifendy signed it, right? He didn't throw it out.
He just opened t door to testimony.
He's saying the release alone won't invalidate wendy's claim.
And I still say we win.
A.
, if you settle, you open the floodgates to lawsuits From every contestant who's ever lost on the show.
Your case may take a little time, but we will prevail.
Trust me.
Okay.
See you in court.
What? Don't cross your arms at me.
What happened to not raising our client's expectations? It's still an easy one.
It's called "assumption of risk.
" If you go swimming in a shark tank, You can't complain when you're bit.
Well, maybe she was prepared to get bit But not have her entire leg ripped off.
What's going on, kim? Look, I admit I took guilty pleasure in wendy's meltdown, But that was when it felt like entertainment.
This feels like something else.
Well, get over it, Because you're cross-examining her tomorrow.
If I do it, I'll look like a bully.
Can't imagine why.
Jane: It's not fair.
Evan's minding his own business, And he gets fired forPlaying dress-up.
You know I'm always on your side, But dressing like a clown at work is a little weird, Don't you think? You dressed like a banana at work once.
I was auditioning for fruit roll-ups.
Fine.
You're right.
It's weird.
But he shouldn't be fired for it.
I mean, the man is in pain, And if this makes him feel better, Then why should anyone care? Well, some people just don't like clowns.
My mom got one for my 7th birthday party.
My sister ran to her room, started crying, And wouldn't come out until mr.
Patches left.
Hmm.
I ver got my elephant-balloon hat.
Oh! Coulrophobia -- the abnormal or exaggerated fear of clowns.
Are you okay? Apparently, being afraid of clowns is a real condition.
Oh.
against evan.
I mean, maybe coulrophobia is a common condition.
Not necessarily.
Remember senior year, when I launched a campaign To ban white foods from the cafeteria? Of course.
The school year started in September, and everyone knows That white after labor day is a no-no.
I got 62 signatures.
[ giggles .]
's right.
Well, you got the soccer team and the cheerleaders.
And the techie geeks.
You were their goddess.
Yes.
But none of them cared about white food like I did.
They just signed the petition because I asked them to.
Oh, my god.
One of context's key arguments Is that there were But maybe there's only one stacy behind all those letters.
You know what I have to do.
[ gasps .]
find the stacy, win the case.
[ both laugh .]
[ sighs .]
Hi, jane.
[ gasps .]
[ sighs .]
You again.
I'm still waiting for an apology.
This isn't my fault! I mean, it was out of my control.
[ scoffing .]
excuse me? You are the one who pushed the return button.
And now grayson misses deb and your client misses his wife, But no one misses me.
Because no one knows that I'm gone.
Well, when you put it that way, I'm really, really sorry.
No.
You're not the least bit contrite.
No, honestly, I am.
I am extra-contrite, with a cherry on top.
[ giggles .]
You're not sad.
Or morose.
You don't look even disconcerted.
You look happy.
See for yourself.
[ gasps .]
[ sighs .]
Stacy.
Hmm? Hey, I had another dream about old jane.
She's upset because no one knows she died.
That's so sad.
I should do something special for her -- You know, to honor old jane.
You know I love projects.
Leave it to me.
Um I can handle it.
Okay.
But no decoupage.
Or glue guns.
Right.
Something classy.
Now, get to work and save your clown.
Mr.
Westenson, you wrote a letter to human resources Complaining about my client's clown suit, didn't you? Yes, I did.
Turns out you were the first of 27 letters.
A lot of people were upset.
What department do you work in? I work in accounting.
Oh.
Interesting.
All 27 letters came from your department, Even though my client works in corporate sales.
You don't even work in the same building.
Make your point, ms.
Bingum.
Isn't it true that you asked -- [ chuckling .]
well, perhaps encouraged -- Maybe even cajoled your co-workers To write letters against my client? I can't make anyone do anything.
Mr.
Westenson, you haven't looked at my client once Since taking the stand.
Would you please look at him? I'd rather not.
'cause clowns upset you? Yes.
They smile all the time.
You can't tell what they're thinking.
It freaks me out, okay? Sounds like coulrophobia to me.
The irrational fear of clowns.
Announcer: On the season finale of "the one" I came here to find the one, and I have.
[ sighs .]
Wendy, annabelle's the one.
All her dreams will be shattered.
You said that you loved me.
We love each other.
I'm the one.
I'm the one.
You told me I was the one.
I'm sorry.
[ voice breaking .]
toby Toby! Toby!! Can you just turn the cameras off? Can you turn the cameras off?! Turn the cameras off!! Announcer: "weeping wendy," Tuesday at 9:00 p.
M.
Just leave me alone! Paula: The show promoted this clip over and over, Calling you "weeping wendy," isn't that right? Yes.
People shout that at me from their cars.
I'm a punch line for leno and letterman.
And thanks to the internet, people make fun of me in china.
So, you feel the show -- And, in particular, mr.
Fowler -- Has damaged your reputation? What happens next time I apply for a job? Who would hire someone who appears unhinged? And as far as any future relationships go I just It feels impossible.
Thank you.
Ms.
Simon, "the one" is in its 11th season.
Had you seen the show before? Yes.
So you saw melissa get so drunk, She puked during the canoe ride And the time maryellen lost her bikini bottoms Diving into the swimming pool -- on national tv? Yeah.
So you understood that even though The producers put you in a wedding dress, It didn't mean you were the one.
I guess.
In fact, isn't this just a case of swimming with sharks And then complaining when you were bitten? I went on this show despite the risks Because I thought I was gonna find love.
But you lost.
And then, out of desperation, You hired a lawyer to lash out at my client.
You put yourself in this position, ms.
Simon.
You knew the risks, didn't you? [ sighs .]
I guess.
But I just -- But what? That's what I thought.
Nothing further.
Evan, can you please explain -- Why a clown? My -- my wife and I were at the boardwalk in santa monica The day before she died, And there was a- a clown performing.
And he picked anna tout of the crowd, died, [ laughing .]
and he was making fun of the way she walked.
AndShe was laughing so hard.
She loved it.
So, as a clown, you feel closer to her.
Yeah.
That's true.
When you catch your reflection in the mirror, How does it make you feel? Um Like I, uh Like I can get through the day.
Thank you, evan.
Attorney: Mr.
Robbins, Do you have healthcare coverage through context? Yes.
And does that coverage include mental health? Yes.
Have you sought out therapy? No, I haven't.
So you've chosen instead to wear aClown costume As your therapy? Grayson: Objection.
He's not in a position To question how my client grieves for his wife.
Overruled.
Answer the question.
So, this costume, then, Is some sort of coping mechanism? [ sighs .]
I guess.
And you've inflicted this unconventional coping mechanism On your co-workers, haven't you? No, I didn't think that -- The workplace is not the forum To deal with personal issues, is it? I asked you a question.
[ horn honks .]
Mr.
Robbins, you are out of order! [ horn honks .]
your honor.
Either stop honking or I'll place you in contempt! [ horn honking .]
evan! [ bangs gavel .]
that's it! You're in contempt! Bailiff, take him into custody! Evan! [ honking continues .]
Don't touch me.
Let's go.
[ honking continues .]
[ spectators murmur .]
[ horn honks .]
Jane.
So, I spoke with the clerk.
They'll release him in a few hours.
[ sighs .]
How can I be so mad at evan And feel so terrible for him at the same time? Imagine how he feels.
I mean, his pain's so deep, it's easier to be a clown.
[ chuckling .]
yeah.
Hey, grayson What did you do when deb died? Well Uh I remember Spending a lot of time Driving around -- aimlessly.
One time, I got in my car to go to the gym And ended up at the mexican border.
[ chuckles .]
No idea why.
Did you talk to someone -- go to therapy? I probably should have.
[ chuckles .]
I was a mess.
I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat.
[ breathes deeply .]
Every morning, I'd wake up And look at the empty spot in the bed next to me and Put my fist through a wall.
I- I had no idea.
I mean, you were Coming to work every day.
I billed 100 hours a week my first month at the firm.
How did you get over it? [ breaes deeply .]
Well, after a long day at work, I came home, And all the plants were dead There was nothing in the fridge, And my walls were full of holes.
I remember thinking that if deb saw me She wouldn't like the man she was looking at.
So I cleaned up the house, cleaned up my act.
To be the man That she wanted me to be.
Yeah.
Yeah.
[ chuckles, sniffles .]
[ thud .]
Ugh.
I hope that is a roast turkey with chestnut stuffing.
Why do I always crave thanksgiving during summer? The card shop downstairs is going out of business, And I bought all of those valentine's cards for 99 cents.
That is planning ahead.
They are gonna help me with stacy.
See, I have recently learned that she might like me.
You? Yes.
Don't mock.
And, for some reason, whenever she's in the room, I can't seem to form complete sentences.
Which is why I am turning to the professionals Who are paid money to write down what women want to hear.
"I love you when the day is new.
"I love you when the sky is blue.
And when the sun's about to set" "I'll tell you you're an idiot.
" Hilarious.
All right, check this out.
"arrepentido para la perdida de su abuelo.
" It's romantic and sophisticated.
And it means "I'm sorry your grandfather died.
" Fred, you don't need to be poetic.
Just be real.
Tell her how you feel.
[ sighs .]
RealFeel.
I can work with that.
Oh, sure.
There were plenty of great women to choose from.
But in the end, I was totally going for wendy.
SoWhat happened? Well, the night before I was gonna propose, A.
J.
Strongly suggested that I choose the other girl.
"strongly suggested"? He said that annabelle tested higher with the viewers.
So if you chose annabelle, it would be better for the show.
Yeah.
Nothing further.
You weren't forced to choose annabelle, were you? Well, they didn't put a gun to my head.
[ chuckles .]
you list your profession as "contractor," But actually, you're a struggling actor, aren't you? IDo a little bit of both.
You picked annabelle because you thought It would raise your profile as an actor? Why not? You know? A couple of the guys from "the real world" got agents.
So you dumped wendy because you thought It would benefit your career.
If wendy suffered any emotional distress on the show, Aren't you responsible, not my client? Hey, I was just looking out for myself.
He's the one that asked me to break her heart And then put her meltdown on tv.
[ spectators murmur .]
Nothing further.
Kim.
Hey.
What is going on? It's not going well in there.
Maybe not, but our client hasn't testified yet.
Really? You think a.
J.
's gonna win the jury over? Not if you keep throwing dirty looks at him.
Hey, if you choose to represent slimeballs, Your colleagues might have an adverse reaction.
What is going on with you? A.
J.
's not a bad guy.
No, you're right.
He's a gem.
It's the dumb girl's fault For looking for love on a reality show.
She deserved to get dragged through the mud.
We've been through this.
It's -- Don't you dare say "assumption of risk," Or I swear to god someone's going down! Okay, what are we really talking about here? [ scoffs .]
We are talking about you and that girl in the elevator.
Eileen? I don't even talk to eileen.
Exactly.
You don't talk to any of your exes, do you? When I'm in a relationship, I'm in 100%.
When it's over, it's over.
And your ex turns into the invisible woman.
After all, she assumed the risk.
I don't understand why you're taking this so personally.
Because relationships end.
I work for you.
What happens when we're over? [ knock on door .]
Hey.
Thanks for bailing me out.
Well, I couldn't very well leave a clown in jail, right? It was a little iffy in there.
Not everyone's a fan.
[ both chuckle .]
I got your message.
You wanted to talk? Yeah.
What happened in court -- it really hurt your case.
I- I know.
II messed up.
I'm sorry.
Evan, can I ask you something personal? [ sighs .]
At this point, why not? Take a seat.
If your wife were still alive What would she think about all this? What do you mean? [ chuckles .]
Dressing like a clown Acting up in court, getting thrown in jail.
How do you think this would look to her? I don't -- I don't know.
I guess it looks like my life's messed up And that I got what I deserved.
Wait.
Sorry -- got what you deserved? What aren't you telling me? Evan, please.
[ voice breaking .]
this -- it's my fault.
No.
It was an accident.
I She was making our anniversary dinner And asked me to pick up basil on my way home from work, And I forgot.
I- I told her that we didn't need it, But she -- she insisted.
She wanted Dinner to be perfect.
And she went back out to get it.
Evan -- And on the way to the store, that's when it happened.
You know, anna died because If I'd just done what she asked Listen to me.
This wasn't your fault.
Evan A man very close to me lost his girlfriend, Whom he loved very much.
And he told me that he was only able to move on When he started to see himself through her eyes.
Obviously, I- I didn't know anna.
But I don't believe she'd blame you for what happened.
I loved her s-so much.
And I'm sure she loved you, too.
But she loved the man she married.
Not a clown.
Okay.
Here.
[ sniffles .]
Can I help? Yeah.
[ sniffles .]
Okay.
[ chuckles softly .]
[ sniffles .]
[ sighs .]
Hey, a.
J.
Do you know what's going on? I got a text from parker telling me to meet him here.
Yeah, I- I got the same text.
Hello, people.
I can explain.
A.
J.
, remember the other day When you suggested we settle this case? Yeah.
I should have listened.
I've actually scheduled a meeting With wendy and her attorney.
Really? Last night, I was thinking about toby's testimony, About the ratings.
And I found something interesting in the case files.
It was a confidential research memo Listing the audience appeal of every contestant on the show.
You know where this is going, don't you? Wendy was rated higher than the winner.
So if you were only after ratings, You would have just let toby pick wendy, right? Yeah.
I don't understand.
When did you realize you were in love with wendy? What? [ sighs .]
He's right.
I- I-I never met anybody like wendy.
She has no guile, no pretense, no agenda.
She was -- [ chuckles .]
She was genuinely looking for love.
And toby was looking to launch a tv career.
I wasn't trying to hurt her.
I was just trying to protect her from that jerk.
Why didn't you tell her how you felt? [ sighs deeply .]
I Too risky.
A.
J.
, if you cared for her, Why did you show her in such an unflattering light? The network controls promotion.
I couldn't do anything about it.
[ door opens .]
Wendy simon and her attorney are here.
Maybe it's time to take that risk.
[ chuckles nervously .]
Hello again.
Um, before we start I'd -- I'd -- I'd like to apologize to wendy.
And I'd like to do it in private.
Absolutely not.
I will be present for any interaction.
Wendy, just hear me out.
Please.
It's okay, paula.
I'll be fine.
Evan, I hardly recognized you without your clown makeup.
Yeah, to be honest, it feels kind of weird People aren't staring at me.
[ chuckles .]
Oh.
Thanks.
Lady and gentleman, May I introduce your client, evan robbins? Wow.
You clean up nicely.
I just Wanted to say "thank you.
" Both of you.
I got my job back.
That's fantastic.
And I'mDoing my best to move on.
I'm sure anna would want that.
It's you, isn't it? Jane told me about a friend whose girlfriend passed away.
You're gonna be okay, evan.
[ chuckles .]
Yeah.
Well, uh, I got to go.
[ chuckles .]
My lunch break is over in 10 minutes, And I don't want to be late, so Thank you.
Bye, evan.
Grayson.
Thank you.
For what? For letting me see evan through your eyes.
And for talking with me about deb.
I know that couldn't have been easy.
[ breathes deeply .]
Well, it beats punching my fist through walls.
I should be thanking you.
For listening.
I'm here.
Anytime.
[ both chuckle .]
"love is Love is fire.
" [ clears throat .]
Love is rain.
Love is -- Love is ra Hey! Oh! I got your text to meet you here.
What's up? Hey, stacy.
Um [ inhales sharply .]
It -- it seems, um I- I -- D- do -- a- as far as, uh -- D- did you want a hot wing? No, thank you.
Love is Fire.
Love is UhRain.
Lo is sunshine.
It seems, um Oh, my god.
Uh, let me start again.
It's charlie taggart.
Who? He was in my acting class.
We dated for a while, but he dumped me.
He dumped you? For a girl with a recurng role On "the bold and the beautiful.
" Nuh-huh.
He's coming over.
Stacy? Hello, charlie.
You look fantastic.
Uh, this is fred.
Uh, fred, charlie.
Hi.
How's the acting thing going? It's going.
SlowLy.
Hey, don't worry about it.
With looks like yours, you don't need talent.
Hey.
I will have you know that stacy Is one of the most talented actresses of our generation.
She illuminates the human condition by her very presence.
Her -- her -- her soul is pure and kind, And she is one of the most graceful people I've ever met.
In fact, she is both bold and beautiful.
So go get us a waiter and tell him I want some ranch dressing.
[ scoffs .]
[ sighs .]
[ laughing .]
fred, that wasReally sweet.
UhStacy I- I-I've been Trying to ask for some time Um W- would you go out on a-a-a date with me? Isn't this a date? Oh, um I- I -- Absolutely.
[ chuckles softly .]
[ knock on door .]
Yeah.
Well, that's the first time I've been kicked out of a settlement meeting.
I hear wendy and a.
J.
Are continuing At the little bistro on the corner.
Yeah.
MaybeShe found love on a reality show after all.
Anything's possible, right? Yeah.
Kim Can we talk about us? Okay.
You were right.
Relationships end.
[ inhales deeply .]
But you should know this is the first time I'm not thinking about the end at the beginning.
[ chuckles softly .]
So, I was wondering if you would reconsider Going away with me this weekend.
I don't -- I don't -- Look, I derstand you're taking a risk dating the boss.
But I'm taking a risk, too.
How? I would like nothing more in the world Than to go away with you this weekend.
T you could say no.
[ chuckles softly .]
[ inhales deeply .]
Not after hearing you say that I couldn't.
Ah! Finally! You're home! Hey.
You were right about fred.
I like him.
We had wings, and we kissed.
You kissed? He didn't disappear, did he? No.
He went to the store.
We ran out of algae and tofu.
[ chuckles .]
okay.
And guess what.
He bought you and me tickets to the "kiss and makeup" expo.
How sweet is that? He's an angel.
Stacy, I'm so happy for you.
Thank you, sweetie.
But enough about me.
It's time to talk about jane.
Oh.
Come.
Okay.
[ chuckles .]
Ta-da! [ sighs .]
Stacy, this is awesome.
Would you like to say something? Yeah.
It's long overdue, But tonight, we memorialize jane bingum A woman who was never mourned because no one knows she's gone.
Jane Thank you for the gifts you've given me.
A loving family And an amazing singing voice [ chuckles .]
Gorgeous, shiny hair Flawless skin and great teeth.
Ooh.
She does have great teeth.
And a brain that's never let me down.
I promise to honor your memory By living the best life I can.
And if you're watching me now I want you to be proud of the life I'm living.
So, here's to you, jane bingum.
[ chuckles .]
A phenomenal woman Whom I've never met [ laughs .]
But I'm getting to know better and better every day.