Drop Dead Diva s03e05 Episode Script
Prom
See that aspiring model there? That was me Deb.
Until the day I died.
I thought I'd go straight to Heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up, and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now I'm Jane, a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Fred.
I used to think everything happened for a reason Whoo! and, well, I sure hope I was right.
Drop Dead Diva 3x05 - Prom Original air date July 24, 2011 Ha! You blinked.
Damn it.
Like I said, no one has ever beaten me in a staring contest.
Why are you even trying? Because I have this performance review with Parker today, and the secret to a successful performance evaluation is unbroken eye contact.
Where'd you hear that? Oh, you know, from my neurosurgeon boyfriend, whom I saw last night.
The same neurosurgeon boyfriend you're seeing tonight? Yep.
Two nights in a row doth make this "neuro-serious.
" I think so.
Ooh! And it's it's totally awesome.
Well, except Except? Except his surgery schedule dictates our dating schedule.
Like today he's squeezing me in for a late lunch between a craniectomy and a ventriculostomy.
Well, you can't brag about dating a very busy neurosurgeon in one breath and complain that he's very busy in the next.
Oh! Oh, my God! I have to get ready, or I'm gonna be late.
Wait.
Late for what? Some girls heard me talking to my manicurist about being a model, and they asked me to speak at their high school's fashion club.
What? My seminar is entitled "Modeling: DO judge a book by its cover.
" Oh, Jane the trick to winning a staring contest is not to look your opponent in the eye, but to focus on their nose Works every time.
Thank you! Hey, Hank.
Wow, there really is something about a man in uniform.
You know, the bailiff could totally be a superhero.
I get that a lot.
Hey, uh, is Jane in? I need her help.
She's in a performance review.
What's going on? My wife left me.
I'm sorry.
When did you get married? About two months ago.
Well, Jane is not the right lawyer for this one.
- See that man over there? - Yeah? Dumped at the altar by his runaway bride.
Whatever you've got in mind, I think he'll like your case.
Thanks, Teri.
Man, I hate that I can't bill anybody for these performance reviews.
Do I have something on my nose? Uh, okay, let's just skip over all the good stuff, 'cause who really wants to hear that, right? Right, but, you know, in the words of Julie Andrews, a spoonful of sugar Bingum, lately, you've been a very consistent employee.
Well, now, that was a very good start.
Consistently emotional.
Oh, my God! That's not even true! Look, two years ago, nothing distracted you from your work.
Now your friends just seem to show up anytime.
It makes me question your professionalism.
Friends? Okay, what friends? Um Excuse me, Jane.
I need to borrow you.
It's an emergency.
We'll wait in your office.
Excuse me.
Jane, I'd like you to meet Nina and Julia.
They're members of the Mountainside High-school fashion club.
Oh, nice to meet you both.
So, what's the emergency? After my speech, I hung out for the Q&A.
I wanted to know more about posing.
Sure.
I stressed the importance of separating your fingers so you don't look like a mannequin.
The artistry of posing very important, but you said it was an emergency.
Right.
So, we got to talking.
Their high school is not allowing them to attend prom.
Why not? They want to go together.
Oh, you're "together" together.
We're in a committed relationship, but the school won't let us buy a couples ticket.
And that's why it's an emergency, because prom is this weekend.
I've been dreaming about going to prom since, well, like, forever, and now I can't go with the person I love.
Nina, how do you feel about this? I want to go with Julia more than anything, but Her dad doesn't want her to make waves.
I see.
Uh, have you talked with the principal? Every time we go to his office, the secretary says we just missed him.
He just won't talk with us.
Well, he will certainly talk with me.
I met my wife, Irina, through a company called International Brides.
She was a mail-order bride? I prefer to think of it as an online dating service, except the women are exotic and membership costs $6,000.
- Wow.
- For the first few months, I thought it was the best money I ever spent.
But then Irina decided to Grayson? Um, a messenger just dropped this off for you at the front desk.
It's from Vanessa.
Hank was just telling me about his wife.
Uh, she left him.
Um I'm free to help.
Okay, um, well, Irina and I corresponded by e-mail, and we hit it off instantly.
So I decided, "what the heck?" I took a gamble and went to Russia to meet her.
Uh, mail-order bride? Exotic, expensive online matchmaking service.
Got it.
I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
She said she felt the same way, so we got married.
Then, two months later, she goes out for groceries and never comes back.
That is just wrong her breaking your heart like that.
I blame the website.
They promised to thoroughly vet these women.
I want my $6,000 back, plus the $3,886 I spent on the engagement ring.
I'm sorry.
There's really not a case here We'll go after them for breach of collateral contractual obligations.
I'll file and serve the complaint this afternoon.
Jane got a meeting with the principal this afternoon, and we're gonna make sure justice is served.
- "We"? - Mm-hmm.
Fred, this is the first time I have ever looked forward to going to the principal's office.
Who keeps texting you? The fashion club president made me a Facebook fan page, and now I am the most popular girl at school again.
And this time, I didn't even have to eat a banana in a way that made the boys blush.
Excuse me, but are you an actor? Why, yes, I am.
Have you seen my work? Not you him.
I'm casting a commercial for the new energy drink adrenaline rush, and you're perfect.
- He is? - I am? Wait.
But he's not even an actor.
How hard can it be, right? Uh You have the exact look I've been searching for.
Well, I I guess I have been known to exude a certain "je ne sais quoi".
So you're in? Uh, why not? All right.
Give my office a call.
Wow! Who knew it was so easy to get work as an actor in this town? Well, you know, everyone needs to eat dinner.
Or is this lunch? Oh I've been spotted.
Paparazzi? A patient.
And now she's waving.
I'm sorry.
Do you mind if I just Of course not.
You got to give the fans what they want.
Oh, um Uh It's my boyfriend's phone.
It's he's a neurosurgeon.
Oh, I should actually probably get this in case it's an emergency.
Dr.
Kendal's phone.
He's not available right now.
May I take a message? Sure, I'll tell him.
Okay.
Thanks Sherry.
Good news.
Mrs.
Shapiro's headaches have stopped, and she's making a strudel to thank me.
How thoughtful.
Oh, by the by, I answered your phone, in case it was an emergency, but it wasn't.
It was Sherry.
Thanks.
Oh, she said she'd be up late, so feel free to call.
Okay.
Okay.
I am famished.
You ready to order? Yes, I am.
So Sherry-who-stays-up-late is she also a a patient? Sherry? No.
Uh, I'm gonna have the chicken parm.
You? Grilled salmon.
I'm just wondering.
Sherry would be She's another woman I'm also dating.
I'm sorry.
I didn't catch that.
What? I really like you.
You're smart.
You are pretty.
You make me laugh.
I'm sensing a "but.
" I I didn't think we were exclusive.
I mean, we just started dating.
I'm sure you're seeing other people, too.
Totally.
Tons of people.
Oh! So glad that's out in the open, 'cause I I wasn't sure if you were dating other people, too, also, as well as me as well as I am seeing other people.
You know, on second thought, maybe I won't have the grilled salmon.
Oh, seriously? Another patient.
Ugh.
Excuse me.
I will be right back.
Sure.
Then he told me Sherry was just someone else he was dating.
Just like that.
So I said, "I'm totally okay with you seeing other people.
" "In fact, I'm seeing other people, too.
" Ah I know I shouldn't be upset, but I stupidly thought that we were exclusive.
I mean, what was I thinking? We hardly know each other.
Face it, sweetie you're in new Jersey.
What? I'm where? Relationships are like a road trip up the eastern seaboard.
You start off in sunny Florida, and if you're lucky, you end up in New York City.
New Jersey is where you're at after a few dates.
- I don't want to be in Jersey.
- No one does.
You want to go straight to Manhattan.
They have theater and Kelly Ripa.
But we slept together.
On your first date, when you were still in Miami.
Oh, Julia's here.
Hi.
Hi.
I can't believe you got a meeting so soon.
Well, I threatened to go to the school board, and, magically, his schedule opened up.
Oh, where's Nina? Her dad didn't let her come.
Should we reschedule? Oh, no, she knows I'm here, and I'm supposed to call her the minute the meeting's over.
Let's do it.
The dissolution of Hank Spencer's marriage is no one's fault, and we ask you to dismiss.
Their "matchmaking service" is nothing more than a scam.
On behalf of my client, I resent your tone.
On behalf of my client, I resent you.
What exactly are you alleging? The woman he met and ultimately married racked up credit-card bills and absconded with her engagement ring.
International Brides didn't arrange a marriage they arranged to have this man's heart broken and his wallet stolen.
Mr.
Kent, marriages end for a variety of reasons, and California is a no-fault divorce state.
If I may, I'd like opposing counsel to tell the court how the women on their website are vetted.
Let's hear it, counselor.
My client screens for arrests, and their BIOs are verified by an independent party.
You charge 6 grand for that? in the United States fail.
Only 10% of our marriages end in divorce.
So whatever the company's doing seems to be working.
Nevertheless, your company was negligent in this case.
There's a difference between negligent service and being unlucky in love.
Despite your passion, you have failed to prove a prima facie case.
I am granting the motion to dismiss.
Principal Blake, this is a very simple matter.
My client wants to go to prom with her girlfriend.
How about you each buy a singles ticket? You show up together, you leave together.
Same thing.
Except we're not single.
And the couples tickets includes a couples photo, flowers, and a box of chocolate hearts.
Not to mention single students get assigned to random seats at dinner.
We'd like to sit with each other.
I would love to help, but same-sex couples at school dances violate school policy.
But when the school's policy violates their civil rights, then isn't it your job to bring it up to the superintendent? Oh, I'm sorry.
I posed that as a question, but it's actually a statement.
So if you don't bring it up to the superintendent, trust me, I will.
You've made your point.
I will call the superintendent tomorrow and express your concerns.
How does that sound? Well, thank you for your cooperation.
Hi Hank.
What's going on in here? We're discussing our next move.
Well, you've heard the judge the case is over, so no next move.
I had a revelation.
We shouldn't be suing International Brides.
That's not a revelation it's the judge's ruling.
We are going after Irina.
Hank says she's still in the U.
S.
I saw her at my gym last week.
She was using the membership that I bought for her.
Okay, you can't sue a woman for breaking your heart.
Cause of action is conversion, not to mention intentional infliction of emotional distress.
Seriously? You're dusting off the old tort of outrage? Who are you young Abe Lincoln, attorney at law? Hank, are you outraged? - Outraged.
- There you go.
As you can see, a threat can be highly effective.
- That was awesome, Jane.
- Well, thank you.
What about me? What about me? Amazing.
This is all gonna work out.
Mm Hey.
My car's gone.
Excuse me.
Where's the other car? It was right here.
Tow truck just left.
This is a faculty lot no student parking.
You told her to park here.
I would never tell a student they could park here.
We saw you direct her to this spot.
Uh, is is there a problem? Yes, your security guard had Julia's car towed.
Well, every student knows they can't park here.
It carries an automatic three-day suspension, which means Which means Julia is ineligible to attend prom.
Afraid so.
What?! Jane This was all a setup.
I'm sorry, but my hands are tied.
I, uh, won't be bothering the superintendent tomorrow.
Forget the superintendent.
We'll see you in court.
Oh, and in case you couldn't tell by the kind of car I drive, I'm really good at my job.
This is the faculty parking lot at Mountainside High yesterday at 5:00 P.
M.
no cars.
Well, except for my Porsche.
In fact, there are so many empty spaces, there's enough room for a three-ring circus, ooh, and a Nordstrom's rack.
Yet the school still towed my client's car.
She violated policy.
Because the security guard told her to.
And who are you? Stacy.
I'm Jane's BFF.
I didn't ask how you signed her yearbook.
I meant who are you in relation to this case? I'm a witness.
Mm-hmm.
Mr.
Blake, is Jane's BFF correct this student was told to park in the faculty lot? Not to my knowledge.
Liar.
Why are you wasting the time of a very important judge? This seems more like a matter for the student council.
That being said, I think we can all agree this was an after-hours mistake.
Wait, your honor, before you bang your gavel, you should know that the parking violation was just a pretext.
A pretext for what? Julia Campbell asked permission to go to the prom with her girlfriend, and she was denied.
I am now requesting a writ of mandate, pursuant to section 1085 of the California Code of Civil Procedure, asking that the court require the school to allow my client to attend prom with her chosen partner.
How did you say all that in one breath? Do you practice? Special exercises? Your honor, this is an issue for the school board.
Ms.
Campbell is being denied her freedom of association.
We're in the right place.
This has nothing to do with free association, your honor.
It's about safety concerns for Miss Campbell.
There's a real possibility of violence in reaction to a gay couple at prom.
My friends know I'm a lesbian, and they voted me onto the prom committee.
My client makes an excellent point.
Oh, and even if safety were a concern, in Fricke vs.
Lynch, the court ruled that schools must protect gay students from bodily harm.
I'll review the citings and issue an opinion forthwith.
Ooh, just as a friendly reminder, prom is in two days.
"Forthwith" means "soon," Ms.
Bingum.
Can I bang my gavel now, or maybe Ms.
Bingum's BFF would like to do it? Not a chance.
Ms.
Nesterenko, what first drew you to my client's profile? Hank seemed like a powerful man.
He said he ran the court, but when I found out he was just a bailiff I didn't mind.
Well, you say that now, but didn't you leave him as soon as you found out he wasn't rich or powerful? No.
I thought I loved Hank.
He wanted to get married, and I got caught up in the excitement.
Help me understand something how do you go from believing you love someone to never wanting to see them again? I had a change of heart.
You just took off.
You just left.
No "goodbye," no "I'm sorry.
" You told this man you loved him, and you broke up with him in a text message.
Are you ashamed of yourself?! Objection badgering.
It's okay.
He's right.
Hank I'm not proud of how I handled the situation.
I'm very sorry.
I never meant to hurt you.
No more questions.
I'm sorry you had to sit through that.
Well, at least she apologized.
Now it's my turn.
I'm sorry I encouraged you, Hank, but we don't have a chance.
Uh I can't prove she set out to deceive you.
How great was that? What are you talking about? That woman is a fraud.
She can't say she's sorry but also keep the ring.
It's totally inconsistent behavior.
Not to mention she couldn't sustain eye contact during that lame apology of hers.
It's a classic tell.
I was just saying we should drop this.
Are you kidding me? Hank, no offense I don't like her, and I don't trust her.
I just got off the phone with Teri, and she's running a full background check.
Forget what I said.
Hello.
Hi.
I'm so glad you're here.
Actually not sure how much time I've got.
I'm waiting for a judge to issue a decision, so You got awfully quiet yesterday after Sherry called.
And I oh, I'm sorry about that.
I should have turned the ringer off.
I'm not on call.
So it's not a patient or the hospital.
Really could be anyone.
Look, I, uh I'm really enjoying getting to know you.
I'm just I'm not ready to commit.
I wouldn't expect you to.
So we're cool? Totally cool.
Um, just one question other than Sherry how many other women are you dating? One or two? Times Square on New Year's Eve? Oh, oh.
That's my phone my phone.
Um Hello? Oh, what do you need? Judge Wright will be e-mailing her verdict within the hour.
Julia and Nina are on their way to your office.
Okay.
Bye.
I am so sorry.
Uh, you know what? I should get back to the office.
It could be decision time.
Bye.
Bye.
Jane, I'm so nervous.
What if the judge says no? What if she says yes? We're way behind in our prom planning.
Now, Nina, you have great bone structure.
You would look fantastic in an updo.
Thanks.
Julia said you were awesome in court.
I'm sorry I couldn't be there.
I understand.
Dad? Nina, I want you to come home.
Please, just let me wait for the verdict, okay? Mr.
Dunn, do you have a problem with your daughter being gay? You're Julia's attorney? That's right.
I have a problem with anything that distracts my daughter from her studies.
She has an A.
P.
history test tomorrow.
Excuse me.
I just got the call.
The judge ruled in your favor.
What? We can go to prom together? Start breaking in the heels, girls.
You don't want to get blisters.
Hold your heels.
I have some bad news.
The school's lawyer issued an immediate statement they're canceling prom.
I don't understand.
Apparently, if a lesbian couple is going to prom, then the school isn't having one.
Everybody's gonna hate us.
Ooh, fancy drinks.
What are we celebrating? We are celebrating my commercial.
I thought we should hobnob with some celebs.
I think I saw Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel.
Doubtful.
They broke up.
Now she's trying too hard to prove that she's okay with it.
So, we need to discuss your acting gig.
Oh.
I'm a natural.
I'll be fine.
You need to take this seriously.
I brought you a book.
"Acting: it's harder than it looks.
" Promise me you'll read it, okay? Anything to make you happy.
We still need to finish your evaluation.
Oh, can it wait? I'm working, and I'm kind of under the gun.
The lesbian case? That's right.
The prom was canceled.
Move on.
It's just not that easy.
Which brings me back to your evaluation.
You get too involved with your clients.
You need to learn when to let go.
Especially when they're pro bono and the firm isn't making any money.
It's like you're in my head.
Hmm.
I'm going home.
Great.
Get some rest.
I'm going home to make a pot of coffee and figure out a way to force the principal to reinstate prom.
Schools are supposed to teach fairness and equality, so I will not just move on.
Bingum, did you just hear anything I said? Oh, I'm sorry.
No.
You know, you should probably add "distracted" to my evaluation.
Mr.
Parker, your reaction to the prom being canceled? It's sad to see this school twisting itself into a pretzel to avoid its constitutional obligation to two students.
Jane, this is so crazy! Yeah, it is.
Thank you.
Parker, what's going on? You sandbagged me.
Walk with me.
When word got out that the prom was canceled, we got bombarded with media requests.
You weren't at the office You knew I went home.
My bad.
So now that Matt Lauer wants to talk to you, you suddenly have an interest in my case? Our case.
And I love the gays always have.
Fine.
Whatever.
As soon as the courthouse opens - I filed last night.
- After hours? The clerk owes me a favor.
I got him onto Riviera last year to play a round.
We're due in court after lunch.
So what, exactly, is our case? It's a double whammy a preliminary mandatory injunction that compels the school to hold the prom and a declaratory judgment ending discrimination against same-sex couples at any future functions.
I'm impressed.
I believe in this, Bingum.
Plus, if we win, I'll finally get that humanitarian society award.
I've had it with those jerks from Slate & Arden winning for things like handicap ramps and saving the whales.
So, Hank, this may come as a surprise, but Irina was married before.
She was married to an American from Mississippi for two months.
Then it ended.
Irina met her first husband, Tyler Callahan, on a different Russian-brides website.
I had no idea.
We hope to get Tyler to testify so we can establish a pattern of behavior that proves that Irina preys on lonely men desperate for love.
You think I'm lonely and desperate? I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to offend you.
Come on, Hank.
Let's get out of the mean lady's office.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Are you okay? I'm relaxing my jaw.
Why are you whispering? Oh, sorry.
I'm saving my vocal cords.
It's in the book that you gave me.
Thank you very much, by the way.
I'm glad I could help.
Oh, hey, uh, would you mind running my lines with me? Of course.
You're the only one with lines.
Yeah, no, um, the book says that an actor needs a supportive friend in order to achieve greatness, so I turn it on to get it on.
Adrenaline rush.
Cut! Can we take that again? Why did you stop? I wasn't visualizing my space.
You didn't get that? - Nope.
- Oh.
Maybe that's why you're not getting more parts.
Excuse me?! You read one book, and you think you're some sort of an expert?! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
The way you're screaming, you're stressing your vocal cords.
I don't care about my vocal cords or your stupid commercial! In 1961, Birmingham was ordered to integrate their public pools, but the city didn't want African-American kids swimming alongside Caucasian kids, so they shut the pools down.
Really? Well, this is news to me.
Hold on.
Let me get a pen so I can write some of these fun facts down.
Your Honor, I think you'll agree we don't need a history lesson here.
No, no.
It's not history.
The same thing is happening right now.
Mountainside High was ordered to grant a gay couple access to their prom, but the administration didn't want gay kids dancing near the straight kids, so they shut the prom down.
You're just pontificating.
Really? Pontificate this Mountainside High is engaging in de facto discrimination based on the sexual orientation of my client.
The prom's cancellation has nothing to do with discrimination, de facto or otherwise.
It has to do with upholding federal policy.
What?! In 1996, the federal government passed the defense of marriage act, defining marriage as the union between one man and one woman.
Oh, please.
These girls aren't asking to get married.
They just want to do the electric slide as a couple.
True, but allowing a same-sex couple to attend prom violates the spirit of the federal law.
Wow.
Isn't it exhausting coming up with all these reasons to deny Julia and Nina access to their prom? I mean, imagine what you could do with all that creativity.
I hear scrap-booking is fun.
I will not allow anyone in this court to demean scrap-booking.
Your honor, for the court to order an injunction, there has to be the risk of irreparable harm.
We're just talking about a dance.
Although the school's argument is a stretch, I don't see irreparable harm.
The injunction is denied.
However, I do see sufficient evidence to support a civil rights claim.
Trial for damages will be set for next month.
Next month? But then these kids won't get a prom.
I didn't go to prom, and I lived.
Mr.
Callahan, you met Ms.
Nesterenko on the site Kazak Kuties is that correct? Uh, yes, but you already know that.
Tyler, this is a prep session.
Want you to feel comfortable in court.
Can we keep going? Of course.
And after you met Irina in Russia, the two of you got married? Yep, and then we moved back to Mississippi, birthplace of Mr.
Elvis Presley.
And you are a marketing executive? Yeah, that's right.
How's business? Well, it was pretty good for a while, but marketing is usually the first thing cut once the economy tanks.
Yeah.
And that's when Irina left you? No.
She she didn't leave me.
I left her.
What? I felt terrible, but after a couple of months, I just kind of realized she wasn't right for me.
- You realized that? - Yeah.
I mean, I thought I'd found the one, but guess I was wrong.
Did she run up any bills on your credit card? No.
What about the engagement ring? She gave it back to me.
Okay, um, I think that's all we need.
Thank you so much for your time.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Wow.
I did not see that one coming.
Yeah, I don't get it.
He's a regular guy married to a cute Russian.
The rules of a bad economy hold on to what you have.
You don't kick it to the curb.
There are exceptions to every rule.
I'm sorry.
For what? Chapter 7 never underestimate your support network.
Stacy, you are my entire network.
Well, every actor gets carried away.
Yeah.
I shouldn't have been so jealous.
I'm sorry I was insensitive.
I if you want, I can cancel the commercial.
What? No.
No, no, no.
Come on.
Let's hear you rehearse.
Okay.
Um I turn it on to get it on.
What's wrong? Chapter 9 I need some inspiration.
Oh.
Hey, I heard about prom.
Sorry.
Yeah, my client deserves better.
Wait, it's 9:00 P.
M.
on a Friday night, and you're at the office.
You deserve better.
Yeah, well, you're here, too.
Well, my fiancée ran out on me last week.
What's your excuse? Um the guy that I'm kind of dating said he was busy, which means he is probably out with one of the other women he is kind of dating.
Oh.
Want me to beat him up? Yep.
No, it's no, it's fine.
I'm really trying to be fine with it.
Well, I shouldn't be giving relationship advice, but I do know one thing.
What's that? The guy's an idiot if he doesn't realize what he has with you.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Good night, Jane.
Good night.
- Good morning.
- Don't be so sure.
- What? - Principal Blake just called.
He wants to meet with you and the girls in his office immediately.
Julia and Nina are on their way.
Did he say why? No, but to be safe, park off-campus.
Yeah.
I want to make you girls an offer.
A couples ticket to prom?! What's the catch? The school board wants to avoid a lengthy legal battle, so we're reinstating the dance, and we're letting you and Nina go as a couple.
- Oh! We did it! - We're going to prom! Wait.
You said it was an offer, so what do you want from them?? We're asking that you drop the case for declaratory judgment and damages, a quid pro quo.
- Okay.
Fine.
- Uh, no! What about Kyle and Charlie in 10th grade? They won't be allowed to go to their prom as a couple.
You really don't need to worry about them.
Forget it.
Now, listen here, young lady No, no! No, you listen here.
You've made an offer.
They will decide whether or not to accept it.
You will not intimidate my daughter not anymore.
Nina, I'm so sorry I didn't Dad, it's it's okay.
Your mom would be proud.
Mr.
Blake Prom will be going on without us.
And we will continue with the lawsuit.
See you in court.
Fine.
Fine, I don't need you.
All right, rehearsal is up, everyone.
Ooh, Fred, look at those shorts! Wow, you're showing a lot of leg.
Well, it's official.
I'm an actor! Look out, George Clooney I'm in your rear-view.
All right, rehearsal's up, everyone.
Places.
All right, Fred, on your mark.
Oh, thank you.
Take a sip of your drink.
And action! Ahh! I turn it on to get it on.
Adrenaline Rush.
Whoa, whoa.
I'm sorry.
Uh, cut! Who are you, and why are you saying my lines? Fred, what are you doing? My job, but this dude was lurking in the tunnel and ran out and said my lines.
You have no lines.
Have you bee paying attention? I'm the loser who drinks your drink, runs into the tunnel, and then emerges a winner, and then I deliver my lines.
Seriously, dude, you're the loser.
You run into the tunnel, and he runs out, delivering his lines.
You think I'm the loser? 'Cause have you seen the woman that I'm dating? Stacy, would you date a loser? I most certainly would not.
It's just acting, Fred.
Anyone can do it.
Well, I'm sorry, but it it takes talent to be an actor, and I don't have enough talent in me to act like a loser.
I quit.
Great, first my bikini girl bails, and now the loser quits.
Stop calling me that.
Your bikini babe quit? 'Cause I could do it.
I've read the script.
Well, we haven't fitted you for wardrobe.
Chapter 11 an actor is always prepared.
Mr.
Callahan, after two months, your marriage ended abruptly isn't that right? That's right, and like I told you before, it was my decision.
You just fell out of love? Yeah.
Just like that? I was unemployed.
I'd lost my self-confidence.
It was a stressful time.
Are you still unemployed? I pick up freelance jobs here and there.
Ur last freelance job how much did that pay you? I do not remember exactly.
I have a copy of your bank statement.
Your last deposit was for $3,886.
That would mean your job paid the exact amount as the engagement ring my client bought Irina, which she never returned to him.
Objection I don't hear a question.
When you lost your job, you realized Irina could go back to Russia, sign up as a mail-order bride again, marry a rich man, and rip him off isn't that right? No.
In a bad economy, you two figured out a way to make a little extra cash at my client's expense.
Now might be a good time for you to raise your fifth amendment rights.
Congratulations.
The D.
A.
is pressing charges against both Irina and Tyler.
Yeah.
And you look miserable.
I'm fine.
I get it.
Hank has closure.
You're not any closer to understanding why Vanessa left you.
I really don't want to talk about it, Kim.
If Vanessa were here, what would you want to say to her? I don't know.
And it really doesn't matter, because she's not.
- Well, pretend I'm her.
- Kim! Grayson, this woman leaves you moments before your wedding and then disappears from your life.
Do you want to stay stuck in that moment, replaying it over and over again, or do you want to finally have it out with her? - This is crazy.
- You know what's crazy? Leaving someone at the altar! So pretend I'm Vanessa.
Yell at me.
Scream at me.
Whatever you want to say to her, say to me.
Let me have it.
- Vanessa! - Yes, Grayson? Whoa.
That wasn't meant for you.
I kind of figured.
I'm not much of a yeller.
Well, you should try it sometime.
Even if Julia and Nina can't go to their prom, at least they can go to a prom.
How did you pay for all of this? Oh, old Jane bought Netflix at $12.
What does that mean? It means that we get to throw a really awesome party and invite the entire senior class to attend.
Let's just hope they show up.
Oh, look who's here! This is amazing.
This is way better than the school gym.
Thank you, Jane for everything.
You're welcome.
Would you like to break in the dance floor? Oh, hey, look, your friend from New Jersey is looking a little lonely over there.
My prom date has arrived.
I will request a slow song for you.
Please do.
Are you enjoying yourself? Of course it's prom! Well, my dad let me borrow his Chevy.
We can totally make out in the backseat.
Um, Bill, I I think we need to talk.
Sounds serious.
I know that I said I was cool with you seeing other people, but it turns out I'm not that cool.
I want to be the only girl in the backseat of your Chevy.
Okay.
"Okay" as in you "Okay" as in I appreciate what you're saying.
But you are not ready to commit.
I'm not in a race to the finish line.
We're just getting started.
I feel like I'm competing for your attention.
And I deserve better.
Are you breaking up with me at prom? Uh, you know what? I am.
Bye, Bill.
Bye, Jane.
Stace.
What happened? Turns out I'm not a Jersey girl.
Bingum.
Parker.
Thanks for the invite.
Nice party.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Uh, let's get some punch.
Excuse us.
Hank, you're adorable, and I respect your machismo, but on the dance floor, I lead got it? Whatever you say.
I found a keeper.
There you go.
What's going on, Parker? We need to finish your evaluation.
Are you serious? I am not on the clock right now, so this can wait.
I wanted to retract my prior critique.
Oh.
Well, in that case Your friend brought you a worthwhile case, and your emotions kept it on track.
Commendable job.
Whatever you're doing keep doing it.
Thank you.
- Oh, will you excuse me? - Yeah.
You made it.
Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss prom.
Right.
Would you like to dance? You know I would.
Oh, congratulations on your case, by the way.
I heard about the win.
Thanks.
Looks like Hank's gonna be all right.
Yeah.
You know, Grayson, you're gonna be all right, too.
Oh! Jane, look!
Until the day I died.
I thought I'd go straight to Heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up, and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now I'm Jane, a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Fred.
I used to think everything happened for a reason Whoo! and, well, I sure hope I was right.
Drop Dead Diva 3x05 - Prom Original air date July 24, 2011 Ha! You blinked.
Damn it.
Like I said, no one has ever beaten me in a staring contest.
Why are you even trying? Because I have this performance review with Parker today, and the secret to a successful performance evaluation is unbroken eye contact.
Where'd you hear that? Oh, you know, from my neurosurgeon boyfriend, whom I saw last night.
The same neurosurgeon boyfriend you're seeing tonight? Yep.
Two nights in a row doth make this "neuro-serious.
" I think so.
Ooh! And it's it's totally awesome.
Well, except Except? Except his surgery schedule dictates our dating schedule.
Like today he's squeezing me in for a late lunch between a craniectomy and a ventriculostomy.
Well, you can't brag about dating a very busy neurosurgeon in one breath and complain that he's very busy in the next.
Oh! Oh, my God! I have to get ready, or I'm gonna be late.
Wait.
Late for what? Some girls heard me talking to my manicurist about being a model, and they asked me to speak at their high school's fashion club.
What? My seminar is entitled "Modeling: DO judge a book by its cover.
" Oh, Jane the trick to winning a staring contest is not to look your opponent in the eye, but to focus on their nose Works every time.
Thank you! Hey, Hank.
Wow, there really is something about a man in uniform.
You know, the bailiff could totally be a superhero.
I get that a lot.
Hey, uh, is Jane in? I need her help.
She's in a performance review.
What's going on? My wife left me.
I'm sorry.
When did you get married? About two months ago.
Well, Jane is not the right lawyer for this one.
- See that man over there? - Yeah? Dumped at the altar by his runaway bride.
Whatever you've got in mind, I think he'll like your case.
Thanks, Teri.
Man, I hate that I can't bill anybody for these performance reviews.
Do I have something on my nose? Uh, okay, let's just skip over all the good stuff, 'cause who really wants to hear that, right? Right, but, you know, in the words of Julie Andrews, a spoonful of sugar Bingum, lately, you've been a very consistent employee.
Well, now, that was a very good start.
Consistently emotional.
Oh, my God! That's not even true! Look, two years ago, nothing distracted you from your work.
Now your friends just seem to show up anytime.
It makes me question your professionalism.
Friends? Okay, what friends? Um Excuse me, Jane.
I need to borrow you.
It's an emergency.
We'll wait in your office.
Excuse me.
Jane, I'd like you to meet Nina and Julia.
They're members of the Mountainside High-school fashion club.
Oh, nice to meet you both.
So, what's the emergency? After my speech, I hung out for the Q&A.
I wanted to know more about posing.
Sure.
I stressed the importance of separating your fingers so you don't look like a mannequin.
The artistry of posing very important, but you said it was an emergency.
Right.
So, we got to talking.
Their high school is not allowing them to attend prom.
Why not? They want to go together.
Oh, you're "together" together.
We're in a committed relationship, but the school won't let us buy a couples ticket.
And that's why it's an emergency, because prom is this weekend.
I've been dreaming about going to prom since, well, like, forever, and now I can't go with the person I love.
Nina, how do you feel about this? I want to go with Julia more than anything, but Her dad doesn't want her to make waves.
I see.
Uh, have you talked with the principal? Every time we go to his office, the secretary says we just missed him.
He just won't talk with us.
Well, he will certainly talk with me.
I met my wife, Irina, through a company called International Brides.
She was a mail-order bride? I prefer to think of it as an online dating service, except the women are exotic and membership costs $6,000.
- Wow.
- For the first few months, I thought it was the best money I ever spent.
But then Irina decided to Grayson? Um, a messenger just dropped this off for you at the front desk.
It's from Vanessa.
Hank was just telling me about his wife.
Uh, she left him.
Um I'm free to help.
Okay, um, well, Irina and I corresponded by e-mail, and we hit it off instantly.
So I decided, "what the heck?" I took a gamble and went to Russia to meet her.
Uh, mail-order bride? Exotic, expensive online matchmaking service.
Got it.
I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
She said she felt the same way, so we got married.
Then, two months later, she goes out for groceries and never comes back.
That is just wrong her breaking your heart like that.
I blame the website.
They promised to thoroughly vet these women.
I want my $6,000 back, plus the $3,886 I spent on the engagement ring.
I'm sorry.
There's really not a case here We'll go after them for breach of collateral contractual obligations.
I'll file and serve the complaint this afternoon.
Jane got a meeting with the principal this afternoon, and we're gonna make sure justice is served.
- "We"? - Mm-hmm.
Fred, this is the first time I have ever looked forward to going to the principal's office.
Who keeps texting you? The fashion club president made me a Facebook fan page, and now I am the most popular girl at school again.
And this time, I didn't even have to eat a banana in a way that made the boys blush.
Excuse me, but are you an actor? Why, yes, I am.
Have you seen my work? Not you him.
I'm casting a commercial for the new energy drink adrenaline rush, and you're perfect.
- He is? - I am? Wait.
But he's not even an actor.
How hard can it be, right? Uh You have the exact look I've been searching for.
Well, I I guess I have been known to exude a certain "je ne sais quoi".
So you're in? Uh, why not? All right.
Give my office a call.
Wow! Who knew it was so easy to get work as an actor in this town? Well, you know, everyone needs to eat dinner.
Or is this lunch? Oh I've been spotted.
Paparazzi? A patient.
And now she's waving.
I'm sorry.
Do you mind if I just Of course not.
You got to give the fans what they want.
Oh, um Uh It's my boyfriend's phone.
It's he's a neurosurgeon.
Oh, I should actually probably get this in case it's an emergency.
Dr.
Kendal's phone.
He's not available right now.
May I take a message? Sure, I'll tell him.
Okay.
Thanks Sherry.
Good news.
Mrs.
Shapiro's headaches have stopped, and she's making a strudel to thank me.
How thoughtful.
Oh, by the by, I answered your phone, in case it was an emergency, but it wasn't.
It was Sherry.
Thanks.
Oh, she said she'd be up late, so feel free to call.
Okay.
Okay.
I am famished.
You ready to order? Yes, I am.
So Sherry-who-stays-up-late is she also a a patient? Sherry? No.
Uh, I'm gonna have the chicken parm.
You? Grilled salmon.
I'm just wondering.
Sherry would be She's another woman I'm also dating.
I'm sorry.
I didn't catch that.
What? I really like you.
You're smart.
You are pretty.
You make me laugh.
I'm sensing a "but.
" I I didn't think we were exclusive.
I mean, we just started dating.
I'm sure you're seeing other people, too.
Totally.
Tons of people.
Oh! So glad that's out in the open, 'cause I I wasn't sure if you were dating other people, too, also, as well as me as well as I am seeing other people.
You know, on second thought, maybe I won't have the grilled salmon.
Oh, seriously? Another patient.
Ugh.
Excuse me.
I will be right back.
Sure.
Then he told me Sherry was just someone else he was dating.
Just like that.
So I said, "I'm totally okay with you seeing other people.
" "In fact, I'm seeing other people, too.
" Ah I know I shouldn't be upset, but I stupidly thought that we were exclusive.
I mean, what was I thinking? We hardly know each other.
Face it, sweetie you're in new Jersey.
What? I'm where? Relationships are like a road trip up the eastern seaboard.
You start off in sunny Florida, and if you're lucky, you end up in New York City.
New Jersey is where you're at after a few dates.
- I don't want to be in Jersey.
- No one does.
You want to go straight to Manhattan.
They have theater and Kelly Ripa.
But we slept together.
On your first date, when you were still in Miami.
Oh, Julia's here.
Hi.
Hi.
I can't believe you got a meeting so soon.
Well, I threatened to go to the school board, and, magically, his schedule opened up.
Oh, where's Nina? Her dad didn't let her come.
Should we reschedule? Oh, no, she knows I'm here, and I'm supposed to call her the minute the meeting's over.
Let's do it.
The dissolution of Hank Spencer's marriage is no one's fault, and we ask you to dismiss.
Their "matchmaking service" is nothing more than a scam.
On behalf of my client, I resent your tone.
On behalf of my client, I resent you.
What exactly are you alleging? The woman he met and ultimately married racked up credit-card bills and absconded with her engagement ring.
International Brides didn't arrange a marriage they arranged to have this man's heart broken and his wallet stolen.
Mr.
Kent, marriages end for a variety of reasons, and California is a no-fault divorce state.
If I may, I'd like opposing counsel to tell the court how the women on their website are vetted.
Let's hear it, counselor.
My client screens for arrests, and their BIOs are verified by an independent party.
You charge 6 grand for that? in the United States fail.
Only 10% of our marriages end in divorce.
So whatever the company's doing seems to be working.
Nevertheless, your company was negligent in this case.
There's a difference between negligent service and being unlucky in love.
Despite your passion, you have failed to prove a prima facie case.
I am granting the motion to dismiss.
Principal Blake, this is a very simple matter.
My client wants to go to prom with her girlfriend.
How about you each buy a singles ticket? You show up together, you leave together.
Same thing.
Except we're not single.
And the couples tickets includes a couples photo, flowers, and a box of chocolate hearts.
Not to mention single students get assigned to random seats at dinner.
We'd like to sit with each other.
I would love to help, but same-sex couples at school dances violate school policy.
But when the school's policy violates their civil rights, then isn't it your job to bring it up to the superintendent? Oh, I'm sorry.
I posed that as a question, but it's actually a statement.
So if you don't bring it up to the superintendent, trust me, I will.
You've made your point.
I will call the superintendent tomorrow and express your concerns.
How does that sound? Well, thank you for your cooperation.
Hi Hank.
What's going on in here? We're discussing our next move.
Well, you've heard the judge the case is over, so no next move.
I had a revelation.
We shouldn't be suing International Brides.
That's not a revelation it's the judge's ruling.
We are going after Irina.
Hank says she's still in the U.
S.
I saw her at my gym last week.
She was using the membership that I bought for her.
Okay, you can't sue a woman for breaking your heart.
Cause of action is conversion, not to mention intentional infliction of emotional distress.
Seriously? You're dusting off the old tort of outrage? Who are you young Abe Lincoln, attorney at law? Hank, are you outraged? - Outraged.
- There you go.
As you can see, a threat can be highly effective.
- That was awesome, Jane.
- Well, thank you.
What about me? What about me? Amazing.
This is all gonna work out.
Mm Hey.
My car's gone.
Excuse me.
Where's the other car? It was right here.
Tow truck just left.
This is a faculty lot no student parking.
You told her to park here.
I would never tell a student they could park here.
We saw you direct her to this spot.
Uh, is is there a problem? Yes, your security guard had Julia's car towed.
Well, every student knows they can't park here.
It carries an automatic three-day suspension, which means Which means Julia is ineligible to attend prom.
Afraid so.
What?! Jane This was all a setup.
I'm sorry, but my hands are tied.
I, uh, won't be bothering the superintendent tomorrow.
Forget the superintendent.
We'll see you in court.
Oh, and in case you couldn't tell by the kind of car I drive, I'm really good at my job.
This is the faculty parking lot at Mountainside High yesterday at 5:00 P.
M.
no cars.
Well, except for my Porsche.
In fact, there are so many empty spaces, there's enough room for a three-ring circus, ooh, and a Nordstrom's rack.
Yet the school still towed my client's car.
She violated policy.
Because the security guard told her to.
And who are you? Stacy.
I'm Jane's BFF.
I didn't ask how you signed her yearbook.
I meant who are you in relation to this case? I'm a witness.
Mm-hmm.
Mr.
Blake, is Jane's BFF correct this student was told to park in the faculty lot? Not to my knowledge.
Liar.
Why are you wasting the time of a very important judge? This seems more like a matter for the student council.
That being said, I think we can all agree this was an after-hours mistake.
Wait, your honor, before you bang your gavel, you should know that the parking violation was just a pretext.
A pretext for what? Julia Campbell asked permission to go to the prom with her girlfriend, and she was denied.
I am now requesting a writ of mandate, pursuant to section 1085 of the California Code of Civil Procedure, asking that the court require the school to allow my client to attend prom with her chosen partner.
How did you say all that in one breath? Do you practice? Special exercises? Your honor, this is an issue for the school board.
Ms.
Campbell is being denied her freedom of association.
We're in the right place.
This has nothing to do with free association, your honor.
It's about safety concerns for Miss Campbell.
There's a real possibility of violence in reaction to a gay couple at prom.
My friends know I'm a lesbian, and they voted me onto the prom committee.
My client makes an excellent point.
Oh, and even if safety were a concern, in Fricke vs.
Lynch, the court ruled that schools must protect gay students from bodily harm.
I'll review the citings and issue an opinion forthwith.
Ooh, just as a friendly reminder, prom is in two days.
"Forthwith" means "soon," Ms.
Bingum.
Can I bang my gavel now, or maybe Ms.
Bingum's BFF would like to do it? Not a chance.
Ms.
Nesterenko, what first drew you to my client's profile? Hank seemed like a powerful man.
He said he ran the court, but when I found out he was just a bailiff I didn't mind.
Well, you say that now, but didn't you leave him as soon as you found out he wasn't rich or powerful? No.
I thought I loved Hank.
He wanted to get married, and I got caught up in the excitement.
Help me understand something how do you go from believing you love someone to never wanting to see them again? I had a change of heart.
You just took off.
You just left.
No "goodbye," no "I'm sorry.
" You told this man you loved him, and you broke up with him in a text message.
Are you ashamed of yourself?! Objection badgering.
It's okay.
He's right.
Hank I'm not proud of how I handled the situation.
I'm very sorry.
I never meant to hurt you.
No more questions.
I'm sorry you had to sit through that.
Well, at least she apologized.
Now it's my turn.
I'm sorry I encouraged you, Hank, but we don't have a chance.
Uh I can't prove she set out to deceive you.
How great was that? What are you talking about? That woman is a fraud.
She can't say she's sorry but also keep the ring.
It's totally inconsistent behavior.
Not to mention she couldn't sustain eye contact during that lame apology of hers.
It's a classic tell.
I was just saying we should drop this.
Are you kidding me? Hank, no offense I don't like her, and I don't trust her.
I just got off the phone with Teri, and she's running a full background check.
Forget what I said.
Hello.
Hi.
I'm so glad you're here.
Actually not sure how much time I've got.
I'm waiting for a judge to issue a decision, so You got awfully quiet yesterday after Sherry called.
And I oh, I'm sorry about that.
I should have turned the ringer off.
I'm not on call.
So it's not a patient or the hospital.
Really could be anyone.
Look, I, uh I'm really enjoying getting to know you.
I'm just I'm not ready to commit.
I wouldn't expect you to.
So we're cool? Totally cool.
Um, just one question other than Sherry how many other women are you dating? One or two? Times Square on New Year's Eve? Oh, oh.
That's my phone my phone.
Um Hello? Oh, what do you need? Judge Wright will be e-mailing her verdict within the hour.
Julia and Nina are on their way to your office.
Okay.
Bye.
I am so sorry.
Uh, you know what? I should get back to the office.
It could be decision time.
Bye.
Bye.
Jane, I'm so nervous.
What if the judge says no? What if she says yes? We're way behind in our prom planning.
Now, Nina, you have great bone structure.
You would look fantastic in an updo.
Thanks.
Julia said you were awesome in court.
I'm sorry I couldn't be there.
I understand.
Dad? Nina, I want you to come home.
Please, just let me wait for the verdict, okay? Mr.
Dunn, do you have a problem with your daughter being gay? You're Julia's attorney? That's right.
I have a problem with anything that distracts my daughter from her studies.
She has an A.
P.
history test tomorrow.
Excuse me.
I just got the call.
The judge ruled in your favor.
What? We can go to prom together? Start breaking in the heels, girls.
You don't want to get blisters.
Hold your heels.
I have some bad news.
The school's lawyer issued an immediate statement they're canceling prom.
I don't understand.
Apparently, if a lesbian couple is going to prom, then the school isn't having one.
Everybody's gonna hate us.
Ooh, fancy drinks.
What are we celebrating? We are celebrating my commercial.
I thought we should hobnob with some celebs.
I think I saw Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel.
Doubtful.
They broke up.
Now she's trying too hard to prove that she's okay with it.
So, we need to discuss your acting gig.
Oh.
I'm a natural.
I'll be fine.
You need to take this seriously.
I brought you a book.
"Acting: it's harder than it looks.
" Promise me you'll read it, okay? Anything to make you happy.
We still need to finish your evaluation.
Oh, can it wait? I'm working, and I'm kind of under the gun.
The lesbian case? That's right.
The prom was canceled.
Move on.
It's just not that easy.
Which brings me back to your evaluation.
You get too involved with your clients.
You need to learn when to let go.
Especially when they're pro bono and the firm isn't making any money.
It's like you're in my head.
Hmm.
I'm going home.
Great.
Get some rest.
I'm going home to make a pot of coffee and figure out a way to force the principal to reinstate prom.
Schools are supposed to teach fairness and equality, so I will not just move on.
Bingum, did you just hear anything I said? Oh, I'm sorry.
No.
You know, you should probably add "distracted" to my evaluation.
Mr.
Parker, your reaction to the prom being canceled? It's sad to see this school twisting itself into a pretzel to avoid its constitutional obligation to two students.
Jane, this is so crazy! Yeah, it is.
Thank you.
Parker, what's going on? You sandbagged me.
Walk with me.
When word got out that the prom was canceled, we got bombarded with media requests.
You weren't at the office You knew I went home.
My bad.
So now that Matt Lauer wants to talk to you, you suddenly have an interest in my case? Our case.
And I love the gays always have.
Fine.
Whatever.
As soon as the courthouse opens - I filed last night.
- After hours? The clerk owes me a favor.
I got him onto Riviera last year to play a round.
We're due in court after lunch.
So what, exactly, is our case? It's a double whammy a preliminary mandatory injunction that compels the school to hold the prom and a declaratory judgment ending discrimination against same-sex couples at any future functions.
I'm impressed.
I believe in this, Bingum.
Plus, if we win, I'll finally get that humanitarian society award.
I've had it with those jerks from Slate & Arden winning for things like handicap ramps and saving the whales.
So, Hank, this may come as a surprise, but Irina was married before.
She was married to an American from Mississippi for two months.
Then it ended.
Irina met her first husband, Tyler Callahan, on a different Russian-brides website.
I had no idea.
We hope to get Tyler to testify so we can establish a pattern of behavior that proves that Irina preys on lonely men desperate for love.
You think I'm lonely and desperate? I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to offend you.
Come on, Hank.
Let's get out of the mean lady's office.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Are you okay? I'm relaxing my jaw.
Why are you whispering? Oh, sorry.
I'm saving my vocal cords.
It's in the book that you gave me.
Thank you very much, by the way.
I'm glad I could help.
Oh, hey, uh, would you mind running my lines with me? Of course.
You're the only one with lines.
Yeah, no, um, the book says that an actor needs a supportive friend in order to achieve greatness, so I turn it on to get it on.
Adrenaline rush.
Cut! Can we take that again? Why did you stop? I wasn't visualizing my space.
You didn't get that? - Nope.
- Oh.
Maybe that's why you're not getting more parts.
Excuse me?! You read one book, and you think you're some sort of an expert?! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
The way you're screaming, you're stressing your vocal cords.
I don't care about my vocal cords or your stupid commercial! In 1961, Birmingham was ordered to integrate their public pools, but the city didn't want African-American kids swimming alongside Caucasian kids, so they shut the pools down.
Really? Well, this is news to me.
Hold on.
Let me get a pen so I can write some of these fun facts down.
Your Honor, I think you'll agree we don't need a history lesson here.
No, no.
It's not history.
The same thing is happening right now.
Mountainside High was ordered to grant a gay couple access to their prom, but the administration didn't want gay kids dancing near the straight kids, so they shut the prom down.
You're just pontificating.
Really? Pontificate this Mountainside High is engaging in de facto discrimination based on the sexual orientation of my client.
The prom's cancellation has nothing to do with discrimination, de facto or otherwise.
It has to do with upholding federal policy.
What?! In 1996, the federal government passed the defense of marriage act, defining marriage as the union between one man and one woman.
Oh, please.
These girls aren't asking to get married.
They just want to do the electric slide as a couple.
True, but allowing a same-sex couple to attend prom violates the spirit of the federal law.
Wow.
Isn't it exhausting coming up with all these reasons to deny Julia and Nina access to their prom? I mean, imagine what you could do with all that creativity.
I hear scrap-booking is fun.
I will not allow anyone in this court to demean scrap-booking.
Your honor, for the court to order an injunction, there has to be the risk of irreparable harm.
We're just talking about a dance.
Although the school's argument is a stretch, I don't see irreparable harm.
The injunction is denied.
However, I do see sufficient evidence to support a civil rights claim.
Trial for damages will be set for next month.
Next month? But then these kids won't get a prom.
I didn't go to prom, and I lived.
Mr.
Callahan, you met Ms.
Nesterenko on the site Kazak Kuties is that correct? Uh, yes, but you already know that.
Tyler, this is a prep session.
Want you to feel comfortable in court.
Can we keep going? Of course.
And after you met Irina in Russia, the two of you got married? Yep, and then we moved back to Mississippi, birthplace of Mr.
Elvis Presley.
And you are a marketing executive? Yeah, that's right.
How's business? Well, it was pretty good for a while, but marketing is usually the first thing cut once the economy tanks.
Yeah.
And that's when Irina left you? No.
She she didn't leave me.
I left her.
What? I felt terrible, but after a couple of months, I just kind of realized she wasn't right for me.
- You realized that? - Yeah.
I mean, I thought I'd found the one, but guess I was wrong.
Did she run up any bills on your credit card? No.
What about the engagement ring? She gave it back to me.
Okay, um, I think that's all we need.
Thank you so much for your time.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Wow.
I did not see that one coming.
Yeah, I don't get it.
He's a regular guy married to a cute Russian.
The rules of a bad economy hold on to what you have.
You don't kick it to the curb.
There are exceptions to every rule.
I'm sorry.
For what? Chapter 7 never underestimate your support network.
Stacy, you are my entire network.
Well, every actor gets carried away.
Yeah.
I shouldn't have been so jealous.
I'm sorry I was insensitive.
I if you want, I can cancel the commercial.
What? No.
No, no, no.
Come on.
Let's hear you rehearse.
Okay.
Um I turn it on to get it on.
What's wrong? Chapter 9 I need some inspiration.
Oh.
Hey, I heard about prom.
Sorry.
Yeah, my client deserves better.
Wait, it's 9:00 P.
M.
on a Friday night, and you're at the office.
You deserve better.
Yeah, well, you're here, too.
Well, my fiancée ran out on me last week.
What's your excuse? Um the guy that I'm kind of dating said he was busy, which means he is probably out with one of the other women he is kind of dating.
Oh.
Want me to beat him up? Yep.
No, it's no, it's fine.
I'm really trying to be fine with it.
Well, I shouldn't be giving relationship advice, but I do know one thing.
What's that? The guy's an idiot if he doesn't realize what he has with you.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Good night, Jane.
Good night.
- Good morning.
- Don't be so sure.
- What? - Principal Blake just called.
He wants to meet with you and the girls in his office immediately.
Julia and Nina are on their way.
Did he say why? No, but to be safe, park off-campus.
Yeah.
I want to make you girls an offer.
A couples ticket to prom?! What's the catch? The school board wants to avoid a lengthy legal battle, so we're reinstating the dance, and we're letting you and Nina go as a couple.
- Oh! We did it! - We're going to prom! Wait.
You said it was an offer, so what do you want from them?? We're asking that you drop the case for declaratory judgment and damages, a quid pro quo.
- Okay.
Fine.
- Uh, no! What about Kyle and Charlie in 10th grade? They won't be allowed to go to their prom as a couple.
You really don't need to worry about them.
Forget it.
Now, listen here, young lady No, no! No, you listen here.
You've made an offer.
They will decide whether or not to accept it.
You will not intimidate my daughter not anymore.
Nina, I'm so sorry I didn't Dad, it's it's okay.
Your mom would be proud.
Mr.
Blake Prom will be going on without us.
And we will continue with the lawsuit.
See you in court.
Fine.
Fine, I don't need you.
All right, rehearsal is up, everyone.
Ooh, Fred, look at those shorts! Wow, you're showing a lot of leg.
Well, it's official.
I'm an actor! Look out, George Clooney I'm in your rear-view.
All right, rehearsal's up, everyone.
Places.
All right, Fred, on your mark.
Oh, thank you.
Take a sip of your drink.
And action! Ahh! I turn it on to get it on.
Adrenaline Rush.
Whoa, whoa.
I'm sorry.
Uh, cut! Who are you, and why are you saying my lines? Fred, what are you doing? My job, but this dude was lurking in the tunnel and ran out and said my lines.
You have no lines.
Have you bee paying attention? I'm the loser who drinks your drink, runs into the tunnel, and then emerges a winner, and then I deliver my lines.
Seriously, dude, you're the loser.
You run into the tunnel, and he runs out, delivering his lines.
You think I'm the loser? 'Cause have you seen the woman that I'm dating? Stacy, would you date a loser? I most certainly would not.
It's just acting, Fred.
Anyone can do it.
Well, I'm sorry, but it it takes talent to be an actor, and I don't have enough talent in me to act like a loser.
I quit.
Great, first my bikini girl bails, and now the loser quits.
Stop calling me that.
Your bikini babe quit? 'Cause I could do it.
I've read the script.
Well, we haven't fitted you for wardrobe.
Chapter 11 an actor is always prepared.
Mr.
Callahan, after two months, your marriage ended abruptly isn't that right? That's right, and like I told you before, it was my decision.
You just fell out of love? Yeah.
Just like that? I was unemployed.
I'd lost my self-confidence.
It was a stressful time.
Are you still unemployed? I pick up freelance jobs here and there.
Ur last freelance job how much did that pay you? I do not remember exactly.
I have a copy of your bank statement.
Your last deposit was for $3,886.
That would mean your job paid the exact amount as the engagement ring my client bought Irina, which she never returned to him.
Objection I don't hear a question.
When you lost your job, you realized Irina could go back to Russia, sign up as a mail-order bride again, marry a rich man, and rip him off isn't that right? No.
In a bad economy, you two figured out a way to make a little extra cash at my client's expense.
Now might be a good time for you to raise your fifth amendment rights.
Congratulations.
The D.
A.
is pressing charges against both Irina and Tyler.
Yeah.
And you look miserable.
I'm fine.
I get it.
Hank has closure.
You're not any closer to understanding why Vanessa left you.
I really don't want to talk about it, Kim.
If Vanessa were here, what would you want to say to her? I don't know.
And it really doesn't matter, because she's not.
- Well, pretend I'm her.
- Kim! Grayson, this woman leaves you moments before your wedding and then disappears from your life.
Do you want to stay stuck in that moment, replaying it over and over again, or do you want to finally have it out with her? - This is crazy.
- You know what's crazy? Leaving someone at the altar! So pretend I'm Vanessa.
Yell at me.
Scream at me.
Whatever you want to say to her, say to me.
Let me have it.
- Vanessa! - Yes, Grayson? Whoa.
That wasn't meant for you.
I kind of figured.
I'm not much of a yeller.
Well, you should try it sometime.
Even if Julia and Nina can't go to their prom, at least they can go to a prom.
How did you pay for all of this? Oh, old Jane bought Netflix at $12.
What does that mean? It means that we get to throw a really awesome party and invite the entire senior class to attend.
Let's just hope they show up.
Oh, look who's here! This is amazing.
This is way better than the school gym.
Thank you, Jane for everything.
You're welcome.
Would you like to break in the dance floor? Oh, hey, look, your friend from New Jersey is looking a little lonely over there.
My prom date has arrived.
I will request a slow song for you.
Please do.
Are you enjoying yourself? Of course it's prom! Well, my dad let me borrow his Chevy.
We can totally make out in the backseat.
Um, Bill, I I think we need to talk.
Sounds serious.
I know that I said I was cool with you seeing other people, but it turns out I'm not that cool.
I want to be the only girl in the backseat of your Chevy.
Okay.
"Okay" as in you "Okay" as in I appreciate what you're saying.
But you are not ready to commit.
I'm not in a race to the finish line.
We're just getting started.
I feel like I'm competing for your attention.
And I deserve better.
Are you breaking up with me at prom? Uh, you know what? I am.
Bye, Bill.
Bye, Jane.
Stace.
What happened? Turns out I'm not a Jersey girl.
Bingum.
Parker.
Thanks for the invite.
Nice party.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Uh, let's get some punch.
Excuse us.
Hank, you're adorable, and I respect your machismo, but on the dance floor, I lead got it? Whatever you say.
I found a keeper.
There you go.
What's going on, Parker? We need to finish your evaluation.
Are you serious? I am not on the clock right now, so this can wait.
I wanted to retract my prior critique.
Oh.
Well, in that case Your friend brought you a worthwhile case, and your emotions kept it on track.
Commendable job.
Whatever you're doing keep doing it.
Thank you.
- Oh, will you excuse me? - Yeah.
You made it.
Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss prom.
Right.
Would you like to dance? You know I would.
Oh, congratulations on your case, by the way.
I heard about the win.
Thanks.
Looks like Hank's gonna be all right.
Yeah.
You know, Grayson, you're gonna be all right, too.
Oh! Jane, look!