Ducktales (1987) s01e15 Episode Script

Duckman of Aquatraz

Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes It's a duck-blur Might solve a mystery Or rewrite history DuckTales, ooh-ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh-ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good-luck tales D-d-d-danger! Watch behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do? Just grab onto some DuckTales Ooh-ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh-ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good-luck tales Ooh-ooh Not ponytails or cottontails, no, DuckTales Ooh-ooh Mm, I love triple-mint ripple! Especially free triple-mint ripple.
Lucky for us, he had to buy three to get one free.
Mm, a deal this sweet should be against the law.
Scrooge McDuck, you're under arrest! Good joke, Officer! I guess it is against the law.
It's no joke, McDuck.
Now, see here, Officer.
There must be some mistake! - Yeah! It's a mix-up.
- He didn't do anything.
I'm the one you want, Officer! I meant to return that library book, and I'll take it back as soon as I find it! You gotta believe me! It's a lot more serious than a library book, my boy.
Your Uncle Scrooge is wanted for grand theft! Grand theft? No way! Uncle Scrooge is the richest duck in the world! What would he need to steal? Here it is! Pablo Piquacko's Duck À L'Orange.
But what was it doing in Uncle Scrooge's cellar? Extra! Extra! Scrooge McDuck on trial! The Duck À L'Orange is Pablo Piquacko's most famous painting.
And Scrooge McDuck stole it from my art gallery! How do you know he stole it? This videotape has foolproof proof.
Why is Uncle Scrooge wearing those funny bracelets, Grammy? Er, they're the proper accessories when you stand trial for grand theft, dear.
Order! Order! I'll have a burger and fries.
Launchpad! This is serious.
Aw, come on, Mrs.
B, Mr.
McDee is as innocent as I am! Mr.
Prosecutor call your first witness.
I call Mr.
Launchpad McQuack.
Isn't it true, Mr.
McQuack, that you flew, or should I say, "crashed" Scrooge McDuck in the neighborhood of Glomgold Galleries on the night of the robbery? Aw, I crash Mr.
McDee all kinds of places.
- I mean, so what? I mean - Just answer the question.
- You are under oath.
- Well, I that is Yes, I crashed him there! So sue me! And what was the purpose of Mr.
McDuck's visit? He was picking up a painting.
He said it was a big secret, and I couldn't tell anyone.
Oops! No further questions, Your Honor.
Beakley, when was the last time you saw Mr.
McDuck, on the evening in question? Well, he was sneaking in the back window with that painting in his arms, but I'm sure he had a good, honest reason.
But it wasn't that painting! I hired an artist to paint a family portrait.
I just wanted it to be a surprise.
Out of order! That's why the painter had it wrapped when I picked it up! Out of order! Out of order! Well, it's true, Pierre La Oink's studio is in the neighborhood of Glomgold Galleries.
That is enough, Mr.
McDuck! We have already established this Pierre La Oink of yours does not exist.
Any more outbursts, and I'll have you removed from this court! Now we're gettin' somewhere.
Some may doubt that a man of Scrooge McDuck's wealth would stoop to burglary.
Well, I have here the proof that he did.
Lights, please.
This is the main display room of the Glomgold Art Gallery.
A hidden security camera took these pictures on the night of the burglary.
It clearly shows Scrooge McDuck stealing the painting in question.
Can there be any doubt, members of the jury? You have no choice but to find Scrooge McDuck guilty! Love your striped suit, Scroogie! It makes you look so guilty! Oh, my.
- Don't worry, Uncle Scrooge.
- We'll get you out of jail.
Even if it takes a hundred years! I believe you.
I just hope you believe me.
Well, we don't have enough money to hire a private eye.
Look, we know Uncle Scrooge didn't steal that painting, right? Yeah! He only likes little paintings of presidents.
- The ones on dollar bills.
- Yeah! We know he's innocent, so it's up to us to prove it! Well, this is it.
Glomgold's Art Gallery.
The scene of the crime.
There's gotta be a back door.
Come on! Let's see if there's anything suspicious goin' on.
Never have I been paid so much for one of my paintings.
Especially a painting no one will ever see.
Be sure to get rid of it, Monsieur La Oink.
As soon as you let go of the check, Monsieur Glomgold! Sorry, force of habit.
Don't worry, Monsieur Glomgold, I will drop the painting from the Duckburg Bay bridge, tonight! Good! It's the only evidence that can save Scrooge McDuck.
While he rots in the big house, I'll be the one making big deals and big money! Better leave by the back door.
Quick! We gotta hide! Did-did you hear something, Monsieur Glomgold? Bah, you're just jumpy! Everything is going according to plan.
Just be sure nobody sees you dumping the evidence! And don't cash that check until next week! Come on, let's follow that guy! Rats! Come on, we'll head him off at the bridge.
Without that painting, poor Uncle Scrooge will be sent to his room for 15 years! The bad news is, his room is in Aquatraz, the toughest prison there ever was! No one has ever escaped from Aquatraz, McDuck, so keep that in mind! You won't need that, unless you make the prison bowling team.
Thanks for the words of comfort, Warden.
The richest duck in the world, stuck in prison for 15 years! What could be worse? I'm Mad Dog McGurk, and I hate rich ducks! You wanna know why I hate rich ducks? It's because they're rich, and I'm not! Can I help it if crime doesn't pay, ya big galoot! Say, you gotta a lot of spunk, for a rich little runt who's about to get his beak bashed! Let go, ya overgrown Enough horseplay, boys! It's lights out! Aw, I was just introducin' myself to my new roomie, here.
It'll wait 'til morning, McGurk.
Now, lights out! Allow me to show you to your bed, roomie.
Yeow! Oof! - Get plenty of rest, moneybags.
- Ugh! I may not be this friendly in the morning.
It's going to be a long night.
Unless I miss my guess, this is the painting Uncle Scrooge thought he was buying.
Aw, our family portrait! Aw! Oh, no! The water is washing away the paint! And Uncle Scrooge's chances are going down the drain! I'm sorry, boys, but your evidence isn't nearly good enough.
But it's true! This was the family portrait Uncle Scrooge thought he was picking up! That's Uncle Scrooge, there's us and Webby, and that big purple blob is Mrs.
You need real proof, boys - solid evidence, or there's not a thing I can do.
Excuse me, Your Judgeship.
Is this the tape of the robbery? - Yes, it is.
- Mind if we borrow it? Maybe there's something we missed.
Very well, but don't get your hopes up.
There's just too much proof that your uncle did, indeed, steal that painting.
Well, roomie, looks like you made the prison bowling team.
Yeow! Hey, roomie, how about joining us for a friendly arm-wrestling match? All of us against all of you! I'd love to! Next? Next? Who's next? Next? How'd you get so strong, McDuck? By liftin' money bags! I lifted some money bags once.
Right before they threw me in here! I'm so hungry, I could eat an over-priced meal! We wouldn't want you to lose your girlish figure! What meal would be complete without a little after-dinner drink? - What's going on here? - Uh, not much, Officer.
The prisoners were just teaching me uh, a new dance.
- Yeah! - The, uh, Jailhouse Rock! He coulda ratted on us! Maybe that old McDuck ain't so bad, after all.
He ain't a bad dancer, either.
All right, men, clean up your cells! It's visiting day! Great! Can I visit Brazil? - Yoo-hoo, Mr.
McDuck! - Hey, Uncle Scrooge! Boys! Webby! Mrs.
Beakley! Well, bless me bagpipes! Hi, Uncle Scrooge! We sure missed you! - Did you miss us? - Even more than my money bin, Webby! And that's quite a lot! Don't worry, Uncle Scrooge.
I've been diving in it everyday, so it won't get lonely.
My goodness, what a gloomy place this is! Boys, bring in the care packages.
We'll have this place looking cozy in no time.
I hope you'll enjoy these homemade fudge bars, Mr.
Mad Dog.
Aw, there's too many bars around here already.
But gee, thanks.
- My, such a nice man! - Aw! The water washed the paint away, Uncle Scrooge, and all we had left was a painting that looked like rainbow pudding! Look, boys, thanks for your help, but I don't want you takin' any risks for me.
Sorry, folks, visiting hours are over.
I can't tell you how good it's been seeing you all again! - We're not giving up, Uncle Scrooge! - We'll get you out of this place.
And back home with us, where you belong! Goodbye, Mr.
And it was so nice meeting you, Mr.
Mad Dog.
Aw! Same here.
You're a lucky man, McDuck.
As lucky as a man can be when he's in prison for a crime he did not commit.
What's that your lookin' at, McGurk? It's me mudder.
She's so poor, she can't come visit me anymore.
- Maybe I can help you out.
- Aw, what can do? You're just an old jailbird like me.
Never underestimate the power of an old jailbird - especially one named Scrooge McDuck.
Clean up your cells, men! It's visiting day! Great! Can I visit Fort Knox? That's a good one! Uh, do ya think Mrs.
Beakley will bring some more of her fudge bars? Not today, Mad Dog.
I've arranged another kind of surprise.
Ah! And here she is now.
Me mudder! Mudder! Mudder, I can't believe it! Oh, Mad Doggy! I haven't seen you since the arm-wrestling championship! Yeah! I was so proud of you! No one's ever done anything like this for me before.
In fact, no one's ever done anything for me, before! I'll never forget this, McDuck.
Never! Ugh! Mad Dog! What are you doing? You helped me out, now I'm gonna help you out! I'm breakin' outta here tomorrow night, and I'm takin' you with me, pal! But I told you, Mad Dog, I don't want to escape! Ah, you're just scared, pal.
Don't worry, they won't know we're missing.
Prisoners escaping! Prisoners escaping! - Bless me bagpipes! - Relax, pal.
The guard's a lousy shot.
It's the guard's dogs we have to worry about! Uh-oh! We'll have to jump into that mud! Yeow! Hey! Where'd you go, pal? - There they are, Warden! - Give up, you two! You haven't got a chance! Scrooge McDuck never gives up! All right, no more Mr.
Nice Cop! Ready, men? Wait! Wait! Ugh! Don't worry, pal! Some of my friends got a boat waitin' for us.
We can spend the rest of our lives together, hidin' from the law, livin' on the run, never knowin' which day will be our last! It'll be exciting! After them, men! Our biggest problem is, the whole world saw Uncle Scrooge steal that painting.
That is a problem, isn't it? - Let's look at the tape again.
- We've seen it a hundred times! I don't know, aw, maybe he was just walking in his sleep.
Wait a minute! Keep it running! There, in the glass of the display case! It's Uncle Scrooge's reflection.
Hey! Where'd he get that beard? And that weird pancake hat? That isn't Uncle Scrooge! It's Flintheart Glomgold disguised as Uncle Scrooge! It's the evidence we need! Good news, Mrs.
Beakley! We interrupt this broadcast with an urgent news bulletin.
Scrooge McDuck has escaped from prison! Armed guards and attack dogs are in pursuit.
We're too late! The boat ain't here! I shoulda known better than to trust my lousy friends.
There's nothin' to do now, but swim for it, pal.
Hold your nose! No! You OK, pal? Ugh! Mad Dog! I've got to get him to shore! Ugh! Oh! Where am I? - On a deserted beach.
- Great! I love the beach! We have to turn ourselves in, Mad Dog.
It's the only way.
Never! I ain't goin' back there - not for something I didn't do! - You are innocent? - Yeah! Some rich guy asked me to pick up some jewels at a jewelry store for him.
- He didn't tell me they weren't his! - Who would do such a thing? He had a big beard, a plaid hat, and talked even funnier than you.
Glomgold! Trust me, if we get out of this, I'll see that you're cleared.
Hold it right there! It's all over, McDuck! This is it, pal! It's all right, Mr.
You're a free man! Uncle Scrooge! We cleared ya, Uncle Scrooge! You're free! - Free! - Free! Ah, free! It's always been my favorite word! Now that the governor has granted you and Mad Dog unconditional pardons, what's the first thing you're gonna do? Go for a swim in my money with all my family and friends.
And of course, my new pal, Mad Dog McGurk! - Oh, I'm so proud of you, Mad Doggy! - Aw, Mudder! And I hear that since Flintheart's only crime was stealing his own painting, the governor has chosen a very unusual form of punishment.
Yes, that's true.
As punishment, Flintheart must keep a certain painting over his fireplace for the next 15 years.
The Duck À L'Orange? No, a portrait of the richest duck in the world.
I'll get even with you, Scrooge McDuck! I'll get even! I owes you my life, pal! If you ever need a bodyguard, let me know.
Ugh, I think I could use one right now!