Ducktales (1987) s01e16 Episode Script

The Money Vanishes

Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes It's a duck-blur Might solve a mystery Or rewrite history DuckTales, ooh-ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh-ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good-luck tales D-d-d-danger! Watch behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do? Just grab onto some DuckTales Ooh-ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh-ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good-luck tales Ooh-ooh Not ponytails or cottontails, no, DuckTales Ooh-ooh You sure enjoy your money, don't you, Uncle Scrooge? Aye, I love shoveling it around, swimming in it, but most of all, I love counting it! The more I have to count, the more I love it! Until tomorrow, my beautiful cash, good night, sleep tight, and don't let inflation bite! - We gotta get outta here! - Yeah! - We gotta get outta here! - Yeah! And go get a hamburger or a doughnut or something.
Relax, Burger! Ma's cake should be here any minute.
Say, Big Time, what do ya think she'll put in her cake this time? Oh, a file, some dynamite, maybe a blowtorch, somethin' like that.
Gee, I was hopin' for some chocolate chips! Good evening, boys! Your lovin' mother's done it again.
Ooh! Mummy! Mummy! Mummy! Be thankful she still loves you, bad boys that you are.
Yeah! It's not easy being wanted when you're wanted.
This token of Ma's affection warms our hearts! And fills our stomachs! Send her something nice on Mother's Day.
We will, Officer Parolski! Yeah! Give me that! Don't you boys know what this is? - A shovel! - Yeah, that's a sh that's what it is.
This is our ticket outta here! We'll dig a tunnel, see, right outta the cell, under the wall, and by morning, we'll be free as birds! That's a good idea! Good idea! Yeah! - What was that? - Uh, great idea! Great idea! That's more like it.
It'll take a whole night of back-breakin' work, aching muscles, dirt and sweat! You guys better get started.
- Where are we? - I don't know.
But those pretty red lights look familiar.
Well, they'll never think to look for us here.
First thing we gotta do is find a good hideout.
Preferably, one with a big refrigerator! This'll do! Aha! I've done it, Li'l Bulb! I've done it! My new Furniture-Mover Ray will make the world a cleaner place to live! Yes, Li'l Bulb, my place will be cleaner, too.
All we do is spray our furniture with this Preparation Spray blast it with my Furniture-Mover Ray In the news, tonight and program it to reappear wherever we want! The notorious Beagle Boys have escaped again! That wasn't my best side.
Now we can dust under our furniture with the greatest of ease! Can you imagine what we could do with that gizmo? No.
D'oh! We could use it to vanish Scrooge's millions out of his money bin and into our pockets! Kinda makes me wish I had bigger pockets! - Yes? - Door-to-door doctors! We're checking everybody on the block.
- And we're real worried about your health.
- Why, how thoughtful! This won't hurt a bit! Say cheese! - He has trouble speaking, Doctor.
- I was afraid of that.
Listen to this.
You're an unhealthy time bomb just waiting to go off.
- Look at this.
- It's worse than I expected.
Better give him the spin test.
- You don't feel dizzy, do you? - Why, uh, yes, I do! Just as I thought.
Inventoritis! Too much sitting around and thinking.
First the body goes, then the brain.
- Oh, my! - You need exercise! Fast! You'd better start joggin' right away, neighbor! Keep goin'! A few hundred miles will do wonders for ya! Now, all I gotta do is figure out how to work this thing.
How ya gonna do that, Big Time? I'm gonna think scientifically.
First thing I need is a guinea pig.
Ooh! Where ya gonna find a pig, Big Time? Mm, lemon! Now I can zap you to any place I want! Oh! How about a nice restaurant? One where I don't have to wear a tie.
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Next, I just spell out where I want Burger to appear.
This oughta make him happy! Attention, shoppers.
Our bakery is featuring a special on fruitcakes! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Hey! What happened to the cake I was holding? It wasn't sprayed with this stuff! Now all we gotta do is get Scrooge McDuck to spray that stuff on his money, and Mr.
Moneybags will have to change his name to Mr.
Empty-bags! No, no! Stay away from me, you You wolf! Dewey, are you scared? Naw, you? No, not me! You scared, Uncle Scrooge? Of course not.
I am an adventurer, boys.
I've seen every kind of beast, monster and creature you can imagine.
And now a word from our sponsors.
No television program is gonna show Scrooge McDuck anything new.
Aah! What's that? This could happen to your money! At this very moment, Duckburg is being invaded by money moths.
But you can protect your money with Cash Guard, the handy spray that makes money moths pay.
All you do is spray a little Cash Guard on your cash, and watch what happens.
One sniff, and money moths bite the dust, instead of your money! I need that spray! Yes, rich folks, you need this spray! New improved lemon-scented just out on the market and better than ever! Cash Guard! Supplies are limited, so call now.
555-5555 That's 555 5-5-5-5.
This is Scrooge McDuck.
Do you deliver? Urgent delivery for Mr.
McDuck.
You are in luck, friend.
Only one can left, and it's on sale for five bucks.
- One buck.
- Four.
- One! - Three! - One! One! - Two! Sold! I just saw a flock of money moths heading this way.
Better spray all your money right away! Duckworth, bring the limo around! There was something fishy about that salesman! Pew! I think it was the stuff he had on had on his hair! If that was the last can of Cash Guard, why didn't he spray the dollar Uncle Scrooge gave him? And now back to "Monster Ducks.
" We better go with Uncle Scrooge! No mangy money moths are going to munch my money! A penny sprayed is a penny saved.
He's been in there long enough to spray every dime he has! He-he-he! Here goes nothin'! Or should I say, here comes everything! Phew, what a relief! All my worries have disappeared.
- And that's not all! - Yeow! Are you OK, Uncle Scrooge? Wha what happened? - All the money you sprayed disappeared! - I sprayed it too late! Those money moths must be too small to see! - Uh, wait a minute, Uncle - There's no time to wait a minute! This stuff is a fake! It doesn't work like it's supposed to! Quackeroonie! Say, maybe it does work like it's supposed to! You're right, Dewey! Gone! My money is all gone! There's only one way to catch up with Uncle Scrooge's money.
I've lost everything I Ohh! There, that should do it.
Now to make Scrooge's money reappear here in our hideout.
Uh, is hideout one word or two? - Who knows? - Yeah, just do it, Boss.
Ha-ha-ha! If our friends could see us now! They'd probably rob us! Heh-heh, this is sure gonna make Ma happy! Yeah, we can bail the whole family out of jail for Christmas.
Say, what's that? It's Scrooge's hat, and his nephews! The Beagle Boys! This time, you little squirts are gonna disappear permanently! We gotta zap 'em before they call the cops! Yeow! All right, you little runts! You've just won a trip to Mars! I can't see! Now's our chance! If they get away, we won't! Hope you kids like kangaroos, 'cause I'm sendin' you to the land down under! Yeow! Burger, get me outta here! Baggy, Bouncer, zap those three squirts off the face of the Earth! You got it, Boss! Gotcha! Uh-oh, I'm stuck! - How do we do this, Bouncer? - Like Big Time did! Just shoot it and punch a bunch of buttons.
Weatherman said it'd be a cloudy day! - Excuse us! - Excuse us! Excuse us! Are you sure you want to follow 'em into the zoo, Bouncer? All these bars make me nervous.
You could use a haircut, dearie.
The wrong floor! Gee, honey, are you growing a moustache? They'll never find us in this crowd! Gosh! This crowd sure is crowded! Isn't it exciting, ladies and gentlemen? The Duckburg Marathon's Fleetest Feet are approaching the finish line! - Why, hello, boys! Out for a jog? - Not exactly! Oh, no! And the winner is Gyro Gearloose! Duckburg's favorite inventor! It's amazing, ladies and gentlemen! He's so fast, I didn't even see him till he crossed the finish line! - Quackaroonie! - Grab that ray gun! Go ahead, Beagle Boys, take my ray.
We gotta get outta here! Good idea! Uh, great idea! Run! Gee! Don't you just love that little jailbird suit in the window? Oh, yes! It's just ducky! And what realistic dummies! Maybe they'd like to try this on for size! Yeow! Go directly to J-A-I-L! Jail! Oh! A welcome-back party! Well, we've zapped all the animals back to the zoo.
Now what? We send Uncle Scrooge's money back, special delivery! All right! I wish we could be there to see the look on his face! We will! One for the money, two for my bro, three for Louie and four to go! Now that I'm broke, I'd better start checking the want ads for a job.
I wonder if anyone needs an old duck to swim through their money? You do, Uncle Scrooge! Monstrous moneybags! Oh, kids, you're the best friends my money could have! And the best friends old Scrooge McDuck ever had! Hello, Mr.
McDuck! Hello, boys.
I wanted to show you my first place trophy! Why, what in the world are you doing with my Furniture-Mover Ray? Furniture-Mover Ray? The Beagle Boys stole your Furniture-Mover, and used it to remove all Uncle Scrooge's money! Really? Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Well, I've figured out a simpler way to dust under my furniture.
I'm going to invent a Furniture-Floatation Ray.
Furniture-Floatation Ray? We're rich! We're rich! And you're not! Come back here, Gyro! I forbid you to use your brain for the rest of the year, do you hear me? Gyro sure is in better shape since he started jogging.
Yeah! Uncle Scrooge might not catch him for hours! Gyro!