Ducktales (1987) s01e21 Episode Script

Maid of the Myth

Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Racecars, lasers, aeroplanes It's a duck-blur Might solve a mystery Or rewrite history DuckTales, ooh-ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh-ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good-luck tales D-D-D-danger Watch behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do? Just grab onto some DuckTales Ooh-ooh Every day they're out there making DuckTales Ooh-ooh Tales of derring-do, bad and good-luck tales Ooh-ooh Not ponytails or cottontails no, DuckTales Ooh-ooh If Mrs.
Beakley wasn't singing, I wouldn't be here.
Operas are long and boring, and you cannot understand a word.
Could be worse.
We could have better seats.
Aw, come on.
Grammy says opera is exciting.
Besides, it's for charity.
La la Aah! Aah! Is this a dream? No.
Halloween? Uh, I don't think so.
What's that? You're you're not real Vikings, are you? We have much plunder, mighty Yoric.
La la, la-la-la-la-la, la la la Aah! Hey, this is exciting.
And romantic.
Don't worry, folks.
I'm sure they'll return everything after the show.
Hey, my watch! Wait a minute.
This Viking ax is real! So are those Viking ships! Then those Vikings are either real Vikings, or incredibly good actors! Look, there's Grammy! Quick! After them! Thank you, Captain.
They were spotted by a fishing boat off the coast of Greenland.
Launchpad's speedboat will get us there in no time.
Gee, Greenland isn't very green, is it? N-n-not a sign of those V-v-vikings.
Launchpad, stop the motor.
Why don't you sing, fair Brunhilde? My name is not Brunhilde, and I'll never sing another note until you take me home! - We are! - Not your home! My home! That's them, all right.
Don't get too close, Launchpad.
Full throttle, Launchpad! Well, fan my feathers! I've never had such a welcome.
Hail Yoric, mighty leader, mighty warrior! Mighty good to be home.
Ah, Griselda, my queen! Look! Gold! Jewels, furs, food - all manner of plunder.
That's very good, Yoric, but who is that? Well, uh ha-ha-ha not exactly plunder.
They should have called this place Greenland.
Why is it so warm? Must be those hot springs.
They keep the whole island warm.
How are we going to sneak into the village? Yeah, we stick out like a handful of sore thumbs.
There's the answer.
I look great in this sort of get-up.
Too bad helmets and armor aren't in fashion anymore.
Don't come out, Mr.
Someone's coming.
Oh, hail, brave, uh, warrior.
Well, howdy-do - Uh, I mean, uh Hail-o, fair and beauteous maiden.
Uh, allow me.
Oh, forgive them.
They misunderstood your noble gesture.
Ah, what is a muddy old piece of mangy fur compared to your beauty? You are not a Viking.
Well, what makes you say that? You have manners, you have tenderness, you have no beard.
I'm, uh, trying to start a trend.
I like it.
Starlight, Starbright, come.
She she likes me! And she doesn't even know me.
That's one of the reasons she likes you.
- This isn't going to work! - Sure, it will, Mr.
Just try to walk a little more like a Viking.
This will be a cinch, Mr.
What ho, mighty buddies.
Uh, sorry we missed the raid.
Maybe next time.
Told you it would work.
D'oh! I knew this wasn't going to work.
What shall we do with these outsiders? Feed 'em to the sharks? Ja! Yes! Feed 'em to the polar bears? Ja! Feed 'em and let 'em go? Well, it was worth a try.
Bah! Feeding prisoners to the sharks isn't any fun.
It is for the sharks.
We need something more interesting.
Uh, pardon me, sir.
May I make a suggestion? "Pardon me"? Ho-ho! "May I?" What language is this, you whimpering dog? Ah, of course.
Are you Vikings, or trembling lambs who whine through the whiskers of a goat? Real Vikings would want a challenge to decide our fate.
- A challenge? - Man against man.
Yes, a challenge.
Ah, a chariot race! Win, and you go free.
Including Mrs.
Beakley? Brunhilde? Oh very well.
But we keep the rest of the treasures.
Done! Now, who among you is man enough to face the challenge? This is my department, Mr.
If it's man to man, I'm your man! Good! Hyah! Wingammo! This is my man.
Thor, the mightiest Viking of them all! All hail Thor! Well he-he.
It's gonna be a challenge, all right.
You wait here.
I'll bring your rams right out.
Probably special racing rams.
Special racing rams, hm? Why, these must be the oldest rams in Valhalla.
Ha-ha! Only ones available! Thor won't mind! Maybe with a little practice, they'll perk up.
- Come on, Launchpad! - You can do it! Not exactly what I had in mind.
What do we do now? Look, it's the girl from the puddle! Why, uh, fair maiden, what brings you here? Hoping to learn some pointers on chariot driving, maybe? I've heard of Thor's trick and come to help you, noble one.
Ah, you don't have to do that.
Ugh! We'd be grateful for any assistance you can give us.
With my rams, you will be the match of Thor.
Great! Let's get to practicing, Launchpad, my boy! It takes special commands to race Viking rams.
We will see how good a student you are.
No problemo, little lady.
Giddyap! What other commands do they know? Now try the left-turn command, Launchpad! Woweena! Good.
Now right turn.
Waalooga! Oh, I hope he remembers which command is which.
One mistake, and Thor will win.
More, songbird of Odin, more! More! More! Ah, very well.
Just one more encore.
Just a sprinkle of this powder in your next drink of water, songbird of Odin, and your voice becomes weaker than that of a tiny mouse! Wingammo, toothgnashers! Is all in readiness, Ragnoth? Yes, mighty Thor.
Snagnar will wait until you cross the bridge, and then when the outsider is just starting across, chop, sproing, crash, eeyah! Splat! He-he-he! He's mutton stew.
Ah-ha, ah-ha! Good! I may be the mightiest warrior of all, but why take chances? - Left turn.
- Woweena.
- Right turn.
- Waalooga.
- Faster.
- Hyah! - Stop.
- Good idea! Phew! I could use a drink of water.
Ah, we're as ready as we'll ever be.
I'll get you some water.
Those don't look like the rams we gave him.
Don't worry, mighty Thor.
Once he reaches the bridge, Snagnar will arrange the chop, sproing, crash, eeyah! Well, you know the rest.
Stay, my pretty one.
This will quiet Yoric's songbird.
She'll squeak like a mouse for days.
Now, how to get her to drink it? Queen Griselda, I need a glass of water.
- Uh, ja! Uh, here.
- Why, thank you.
- You're certain there's treachery afoot? - Ja, at the bridge.
We'd better look into it.
Take me there.
Here you are, Launchpad.
Thanks, Mrs.
Think you'll remember all the commands, Launchpad? Ahh! Ha-ha-ha! No sweat, Webby.
I'll win that race for your grandma, or my name isn't Launchpad Launchpad.
I've lost my voice.
What's he trying to say? He's lost his voice! Oh, no! How will he command the rams? We must do something! What is keeping this challenger from the outer world? Thor awaits! Be careful, Grammy.
Good luck, Mrs.
Um, thank you, children.
Hurry! We must get there before the chariots do! You must be the first to the bridge.
Hyah! Waa, waa! Waalooga! Well, Vikings have the worst manners! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah, Starlight! Hyah, Starbright! Hyah! Hyah! Launchpad is way behind! Look! Oh, no! Come on! Not so fast, you cheatin' barbarian! Ugh! Hey, let go, you big Yeow! Poor Mrs.
Beakley? What to do, what to do? Heh-heh! Let them know Thor is going to win! Well, if the sound of a horn can do that, what would a "C" above high "C" do? Hm Run! Hyah, bright ones! Hyah! Come with us, Swanwhite.
No, beardless one.
Valhalla is my home.
Besides, Erik wouldn't like it.
- Erik the Red? - No, Erik my boyfriend.
Ah! Hi, Erik! Then it's agreed.
You'll trade in peace with the outside world.
Yes, agreed.
Doesn't sound like much fun.
We must learn to live in harmony with the outsiders.
Goodbye, goodbye.
So long! Goodbye! Goodbye! Well, Mrs.
Beakley, I cannot say that opera of yours wasn't exciting.
Why, thank you, Mr.
McDuck, but you only got to hear a little bit of it.
There'll be plenty of time for me to sing the rest of it to you on our way home.
La la la, La la la la la La la la la la, la la la la