Ducktales (1987) s02e22 Episode Script


1 OK.
Being grounded forever isn't so bad.
I got my phone.
My phone is also a TV, which is nice.
Hi, Louie.
You're super-grounded, so I blocked your phone's signal and replaced all your videos with this lecture on ethics.
Way ahead of you.
Thank you, Huey Nice try.
The dictionary defines - "grounding" as - Aw, man! Hurry up, kids! Adventure calls and I've got a bet to win.
Well, at least I can skip out on another insanely dangerous adven Wait.
Hobo bindles? Cans of beans? A carefree attitude?! They are not Uncle Scrooge, your bet with Glomgold is over in two days.
You clearly have more money than he does.
Doesn't this seem, I don't know mean? I didn't come this far by not hunting for treasure.
So to guarantee my victory, we are going after the Hobo King's Ruby Bindle.
We're going where there's Cherry Pep springs and the con man sings?! Where the gold geyser spews cash just for youse! Where all your laziest, schemeiest dreams come true You're heading to Big Rock Candy Mountain?! Oh, I am going.
No, you are still grounded.
What?! No! What?! Uh come on, kids, let's finish packing.
Big Rock Candy Mountain is the laziest quest of all time! It's my dream! Your last dream made you take treasure from the past which almost destroyed time, space and your family! Now, to your room.
You can come out when you learn that no good ever came from cockamamie schemes.
Glom-go! Flintheart.
You're trespassin'.
Get him outta here.
Wait! I'm not here to rob you.
I'm here to recruit you.
The Beagle Boys ain't for sale.
I'm not looking for a henchman.
I'm looking for a family.
- What? - Huh? Because family is the greatest scheme of all.
Life is like An evil scheme Here on GlomTales Sharks and bombs And Scrooge's screams It cannae Glom-fail Cannae top my grand plan To beat that Scotsman GlomTales Technically I'm Scottish as well GlomTales Uh Scrooge stinks Scrooge stinks Scrooge stinks Scrooge stinks GlomTales! What's next? Oh, yeah C-C-CG, it's so fancy Once Scrooge sees this There's no chance He can compete with The glory of GlomTales! Bravest, strongest And most modest GlomTales! OK, we ran out of budget But kids six to ten Will love it GlomTales! DUCKTALES (2017) Season 02 Episode 22 Title: "Glom Tales" I finally figured out why I keep losing to Scrooge.
You're a moron? Your plans are terrible? He's smarter and stronger and craftier and Wrong! It's his family! He's got a whole team who work harder and cheaper because they, I don't know, "love him"? So I'm getting together a team No, a family Capable of wiping out Scrooge and his whole brood! Why, together, we should be able to take them down in two days, tops! Right now I need nephews and a Beakley.
Please, Ma, let us keep him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Burger's right.
We could use a strong male figure in our lives.
"Two days," huh? This ain't about family, this is about your stupid bet with Scrooge, ain't it? You dug your own grave, Glomgold, it's time you lay in it.
No, please! I cannae I cannae Spit it out! I cannae beat Scrooge McDuck, all right?! I'm gonna lose everything.
I've spent my whole life trying to best him, but I cannae.
None of us can.
On our own.
But if we work together to destroy him and his family before the bet is over, it all goes to us.
Everything Scrooge owns, including The deed to Duckburg.
Which I could share with my family.
Attention, boys! We're gettin' Duckburg back thanks to your new pa! I, uh, actually only need three.
Never mind.
Aww! Bye, family! I'm very sad I'm missing my dream vacation and definitely not gonna scheme my way to Big Rock Candy Mountain before you! Yeah, right.
Scheme detected.
- Hey! What the? - Scheme detected.
Scheme detected.
Hi, sweetie! I thought you might try to worm your way out of being grounded, so I had Gyro program the DT-87 to babysit you.
And to stop you from scheming.
Hopefully it doesn't turn evil.
Love you! Wow, DT, new screen looks great.
Listen, I wanna know the rules here so I can follow them.
What is considered a "scheme"? Is it different from a plan or a plot? Where do you come down on ruses? Exactly.
We need clarification.
So I'll just pop over to Big Rock Candy Mountain to ask my mom for a clear definition.
Yup, just so that we're all on the same page, ya know.
Request denied.
Scheme detected.
- What?! - Scheme detected.
Oh, come on! That was a playful deception at best! I don't know, G-gold.
What don't you know? We team up to take down Scrooge and his family.
The drawings are very clear.
Yeah, I don't really take down, I build my rep! Check it.
My own online currency: B-B-B-B-Beakscoin! It is worth more than every dollar in the world combined.
Tell us where it is! It's in the cloud.
This is a waste of time.
Let's roll.
But we need him to fight Gyro's technological doohickery.
Then manipulate him.
Works like a charm on my kids.
Beaks isn't a real threat anyway.
I'm sorry, what? Oh, right! Fine.
Uh, yes.
What kind of weak, nonthreatening hack would rely on technology to defeat Scrooge? Excuse you? Technology is the jam! Oh! I can wipe out your past, your future, your entire existence with a swipe of my finger.
Because I am the future, and, yes, bro-sephus and bro-sephine, I am Scrooge's downfall! I am Mark Beaks! Pew pew pew pew pew pew pew pew! I am in.
Welcome to the family.
No need to check.
Definitely snoring.
Scheme detected.
Fine, you caught me.
Look, I feel terrible.
I deserve to stay here in the dark to think about my actions.
Yes! Classic Double Dummy Fake-Out.
And I am also a fake.
Why are we here?! We need a pilot! You could've just hired one! With that kind of small thinking, we'll never beat Scrooge! So you seek the assistance of the charismatic corsair, the resplendent privateer, the Uh, can we move this along? We're kind of on a deadline.
Join us and we'll give you the vengeance that you crave.
Everyone take five.
I will join! But I, Don Karnage, must be the one to strike our foe down! No way.
I've got dibs on destroying Scrooge.
It's my whole thing.
Scrooge? No, no, no, no.
I want Dewey Duck! - Uh, which one's Dewey? - The blue one.
The one who dared steal the spotlight from Don Karn Sure.
Can I also sing as well? No.
- But I can destroy Dewey Duck? - Yes.
Now we're ready.
Family! Set a course for McDuck Manor! The moment of reckoning is at hand for Wait.
Who is that under your thumb? The whole world will be under my thumb when I Oh.
Ah! I forgot to get a Webby.
But we need a Webby.
We can't take on Scrooge without a freakishly strong wildcard.
Ooh, you know what might be fun? No.
Absolutely not.
She is Scrooge's greatest enemy.
How dare you?! We don't need her.
As head of this family, what I say goes! Family vote.
All in favor? Fine.
Let's go get Magica De Spell.
Behold! In my wand lies the strength to fracture the cosmos! I will make the world tremble at my slightest scowl! Oh! I want a doggy balloon! Here's a snake.
Once I re-harness my powers, I'll turn you all into snakes.
- What? - Happy birthday.
Why do we want her? She's lost most of her powers.
Perhaps it is a ruse.
Perhaps she's biding her time before striking down her unsuspecting victims! - She's a queen.
- Oh, man, she's good.
Oh, maybe you'd rather not destroy Scrooge and lose all your money to him instead? Ugh.
I'll go talk to her.
Two, three, four! Happy happy birthday Look how much you've grown It's a happy happy birthday 'Cause now you're in the zone The Fun Zone! This is me pretending to talk.
I hate Scrooge more than you ever could.
Peas and carrots.
Peas and carrots.
Peas and carrots.
Sorry, guys, Magica said she's not interested! Not interested in what? Nothing.
You're obviously very busy here.
Just all of Scrooge's enemies Lead by his greatest rival, me are teaming up to Take out his family and get our grim vengeance on Clan McDuck! And then we shall return here and declare war against the day manager and all children with birthdays! De Spell, what did we say about declaring magical war on children? Not to.
I could not be more in.
Ah, blind, petty revenge That's what family's all about.
Speaking of family, let's go end Scrooge's.
You guys, our family is awesome! Help! DT-87! Louie tricked me into this closet and took my place! DT-87! Mi mi mi mi.
DT-87! The Junior Woodchuck Guidebook states" There it is.
DT-87! It's me, Huey! Incoming call from Huey.
Hey, Louie, cool hat.
Thanks a lot, Huey.
You would love this place! We're floating up a river of fresh natural spring Pep! What?! Really?! Describe the flavor to me in intimate detail! Describe nothing, he hasn't earned it! It's the Hobo King on a gold silk reclining throne! He's glorious! Just turn the camera slightly to the right! Oh, it's not fair! What is so wrong with an innocent scheme? Accessing footage.
Ethics is concerned with how your actions negatively affect those around you.
Look, your plans, your schemes, they only lead to bad things for your family.
If you want to be a part of this family, you've gotta stop.
This is the one thing I'm good at.
Why can't you see? All right, hot shot, you got everybody.
Now what do we do? What our family does best.
Destroy his.
Scheme detected.
Scheme detected.
Scheme detected.
Scheme Scheme detect Detected Must call Gizmoduck! Must call the military! Must call anybody! Doo-doo-doo! We're sorry, the number you're trying to reach has been blocked 'cause we're invading your house! All right, see ya in a sec, 'K, thanks, bye! Hmph.
Get out! A demon butler! How quaint! Would you like to take my coat, shawl, or ghost-banishing amulet? Ha! No! Daddy's home.
Oh, no! Magica De Spell! Huh? We've come for McDuck and family.
So, uh, are the others here? N-no.
They're all gone.
I see.
Family meeting! Unbelievable.
You didn't even check if they were home?! Don't start with me, Katherine! Dewey's not even here?! But this one means nothing to me! Look, we're here.
Why don't we annihilate the green one as sort of a warm-up? And then what? What was your scheme here, exactly? - Just show up and fight? - Of course not.
I'm sure Flintheart had a perfectly good plan and My scheme was to bring us all together, like a family! And then our family destroys his family! How is that not a plan? - Is this the plan? - Of all the absurd A good scheme is like a family.
It can be big, complicated, frustrating, and people may not always understand it.
But when the individual parts come together, they can achieve the impossible.
And a family united is the finest scheme of all.
Who cares?! In half an hour, McDuck's gonna win the bet and become twice as rich and powerful.
All those resources.
All those magical artifacts.
None of us will be able to destroy him.
He will become untouchable.
What do we do now, new Pa? Uh, even if I lose my fortune, we can still kill McDuck! Well then, your fortune goes to his family.
Then we'll destroy his whole family! I know how you can win the bet, but I want in.
McDuck, I believe congratulations are in order.
Why thank you, Owlson.
We're looking forward to having you on the team.
Obviously I'm upset that I'll be forced to work with a successful, competent businessman who can make all my business dreams come true! Very sad day.
It's a very sad day.
Where is Flinty anyway? I'm gonna head to the mansion to give Louie his hobo souvenir.
I'm worried about him.
The DT-87 hasn't reported a single scheme in 24 hours.
Everything's fine.
Not so fast, McDuck! I knew this day would come.
Magica's grand revenge.
I'm clearly standing in front! Lo, our moment is at hand.
For years I schemed alone.
Now I've added a family's strength to my grand vision.
Scrooge will bow before Clan Glomgold! And then cower before Magica De Spell, whose hatred is unbound by time and space! Your time is up, McDuck! The mighty Beagleburg will rise again! For a new day is on the horizon, and it belongs to those with a superior intellect! AKA me! And I, the supreme ruler of the skies, Don Karnage, seeks not Scrooge, but his nefarious nephew Dewey Duck! - You'll rue the day! - The universe shall be mine! I'm comin' for you You duck in blue! Hey! We can't all make declarations of hatred at the same time! And the name of vengeance shall be Glomgold! Hey! Wait! Not yet! It's not my fault that I'm a better showman! I surrender! Where's Gyro? I'm supposed to be fighting Gyro! Outta my way.
McDuck is mine! I never promised that! Fine.
We'll split him.
But I get the top half.
No! That's the part that screams! Not so fast! You "not so fast"! I'm the fastest! Hey! Everybody knock it off! Louie?! This is not the plan! Louie! Lad, are you helping them? That's right, Scrooge.
You didn't win the bet.
I did! Wait, what?! It was I, Flintheart Glomgold, who convinced all the other villains to band together! And it was I, Louie Duck, who convinced them to hand their resources over to Glomgold.
Combined, they actually have more money than you.
I saved your lives, but Glomgold wins the bet.
B-less me bagpipes I did it.
I won the bet and your company! With a scheme sorted out by your own nephew! Or should I say, my new partner! And now that I have your money - and your money - Hey! I don't need any of you! I am the richest duck in the world! I am unstoppable! I am Flintheart Glomgold! Yup.
Flintheart Glomgold won.
His name is on all the paperwork.
Only your name's not really Flintheart Glomgold.
It's Duke Baloney.
"Flintheart Glomgold" is a fake identity, so all your money, all your money, and all your money goes to your new partner who is Hold on one sec, just let me check right here.
Oh, right.
Always read the fine print.
Trademark Louie Duck.
What?! But that was my scheme! I got the family together! I was gonna steal their money from them after I won! I Can explain.
Let me get this straight.
You stole all of our fortunes, and then lost it all to a child?! I wish I never had a new Pa! You scarred him for life! That's my job! How could you betray us after such a dramatic speech about family? Face Punch App! Punch, punch, punch, punch, punch! Ow! Ah.
It was in selfie mode.
You've made a powerful enemy! I have enough hate in my heart for two Scottish billionaires! Should we do something? Eh, it'll take care of itself.
Curse you, everyone! Mom, I know I messed up before, but seeing all the angles is what I'm good at.
OK, but you need to take care to not hurt the ones you love.
And I'll be here to help you see the angles you can't.
Now all you have to do is turn the new company over to Scrooge and everything will go back to normal.
Louie? Hmm Sync corrections by srjanapala