DuckTales (2017) s02e11 Episode Script

The Golden Spear!

1 [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING] [SQUEAKS] [HISSES] [ROXANNE FATHERLY] And so Duckburg is saved, - thanks to Scrooge McDuck and his family! - [STRAINING] [GROANS] [SNORES] Uh! Can't stop.
So close.
Treacherous spy.
What are you really up to? [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] [TWEETING] [CHIRPING] - Uncle Donald! - Donald! Wak! Ohhh! Careful! This was expensive.
A prescription hammock? "For molting relating to stress.
" Whoa! Oof! Doctor's orders.
That's ridiculous.
You're not molting! Look at that luscious head full of Ooh! Ooh, that's a lot of feathers.
Anyway, we need to borrow your old VCR so we can watch this copy of the "Necronomicassette," the VHS that raises the dead, the most horrifying B horror movie from the nineties! We'll take care of it.
No need to worry.
Read your book, relax.
Everything's fine If we don't become zombies! From too much time in front of the ol' boob tube! Ha! 'Kay, bye! [MUSIC CONTINUING] Everything's fine.
[RUMBLING] [ALARMED CHIRP] [RUMBLING] Waak! Waak! [FRANTIC QUACKING] Life is like a hurricane Here in Duckburg Race cars, lasers, airplanes It's a duck-blur We might solve a mystery Or rewrite history Ducktales, whoo-ooh Every day they're out there making Ducktales Whoo-ooh Tales of derring-do Bad and good-luck tales Whoo-ooh D-d-danger lurks behind you There's a stranger out to find you What to do? Just grab on to some Ducktales Whoo-ooh Every day they're out there Making Ducktales Whoo-ooh Tales of daring bad and good Not phony tales or cottontails - No, Ducktales! - Whoo-ooh! I do wish you would take up our offer to stay with us here.
It would be the perfect place to work on your ship.
[YAWN] No, thanks.
The only person I ever managed to bunk with was my brother, and we fought constantly.
Well, it's better than sleeping out in the wastes.
Oh, I'm not sleeping.
I am this close to patching up my ship and getting home to my family.
I just need a little more gold.
Whoa! Is that Penny? Penumbra was our greatest warrior.
Together we held the mites at bay.
She is a hero of the Planet Moon.
Which is technically not a planet, so Moon Moon? Planet Moon! - Oh, hi, Penny.
- Penumbra! Oh, is it Moon custom to yell? Howdy, Penny! Forgive Penumbra.
Since the mites stopped attacking, she is a warrior with no war to fight.
Look who's got an extended vacay, huh? What are you gonna do now? - Oof! - Seethe.
Sounds fun! I better get back to work.
The Spear of Selene's not gonna rebuild itself.
Yes, go back to your mysterious project! I am definitely not suspicious of you! [CHUCKLES] She's a liar.
Let's blast her.
Ha.
I think I spy the green-eyed monster of jealousy.
I'm not jealous.
She's trying to convince you all she's your friend to distract from some devious attack! Penumbra, come with me.
See that rock? My father, General Meridian, was terrified of it.
Claimed to have seen mysterious objects launched off it.
He was so afraid that he drove us into hiding underground, which allowed the mites to become a problem in the first place.
Does Della look like a threat to you? No.
She is squishy and easily defeatable if you would just let me.
I will not spend my life in fear of them, Penumbra.
Our people will see that in time.
So will you.
I tell you, she will not rest until she wreaks havoc on our planet.
[SNORING] Ah.
Poor thing.
Penumbra, she's staying with you.
That's an order.
- Aaah! - Aaah! [ZOMBIES GROWLING] - Aaah! - Aaah! Aaah! Yaah! Unh! [CHAINSAW BUZZING] Ohh! Ha ha! Huh?! Aaah ha ha! "Quacktu baraduck Necktie!" [ALARMED QUACKING] All right! [STRAINING] - That was awesome! - Whoo-hoo! We're alive! [PANTING] See? I told you everything was fine.
Get back to rest.
Everything's fine.
[TIP-TOEING] [PANTING] Ahh! [DEWEY] Guess who's a god now?! Huh? Huh?! Waak! Oh, no.
Intrepid Dewey bravely seized the Sandals of Hermes from my chest and is now messenger of the gods! [THUNDER] Father is most displeased.
Um, he's just jealous 'cause I'm the youngest Deweity on the block! [THUNDER] [ALARMED QUACKING] Father has declared war on Dewey Duck.
What?! Ohh ohhh! Yeesh.
Don't worry, Uncle Donald.
You just rest.
We totally got this! Ha ha! [DEWEY] Ow, the lightning burns! Ohh! [DELLA] Hey, roomie! Whoo! Hey, careful, you don't want to burn down your garage.
Sorry, our garage! Lunaris told me you so generously volunteered to put me up.
I was like, "Well, I can't say no to my new best friend, right?" Look at us, strangers from different worlds, forced to be roommates.
We're a classic odd couple.
I don't know what that is.
Ha ha! Thanks for letting me stay at your pad, Penny.
Lieutenant.
Penumbra.
Aw, look at your cute little spear.
That was my Childhood Training Spear.
I used it to defend my home from unwanted pests.
Oh! Speaking of spears, I better get back to working on mine.
Hey! We both have spears.
That's neat! No, it isn't.
Yes, it is! No, it isn't! Yes, it is! Nooo! Hup! [CREAKING] Treacherous imposter.
No one is falling for your Earth ways.
- You're the stranger - [GRUNTS] that saved us with your Earth ways! Hey, Zenith! A true hero living right next door.
Count my lucky stars.
I heard you beat the mite with com-pa-ssion.
Is that some fancy Earth fighting technique? No, no.
I'm just a mom trying to get home to see her kids.
You gave us so much.
We would be honored to help you in any way.
Really? Thanks! [CREAKING] Has everyone gone crazy? Why are you helping her?! Ugh! So I tied up the Beagle Boys and strung them down from the bank rafters like a yo-yo.
That is amazing! What is a yo-yo? You do tricks with it around the world and walk the dog.
That is amazing! What is a dog? Dazzling them with lies about how your pitiful planet is better than ours! Pff! Two can play at that game.
[GASP] Well, look who's coming around.
Greetings roomie.
Do I see a shenanigan in our future? Yes.
Shenanigans.
Another reason Planet Moon is more fun than your lame Earth.
[LAUGHS] Aw, we can both be great, right? The Earth, the Moon, - which orbits around the Earth.
- Raah! Shenanigan! [FORCED LAUGH] Anyway, the Moon is safe and beautiful and has everything you could possibly want, right? I thought so, until I learned of the wondrous "dogs" and "yo-yos.
" Tell us more about why you love it so.
Well, because my family is there.
And because the Earth has wonders large and small! The Pyramids, the humpback whale, slap bracelets! What is a slapping bracelets? Observe.
I've never seen anything so stylish.
Um, hello? We have matching outfits made of gold! The Earth is beautiful! When I get back, I'm gonna show my boys every inch of it.
It'll be like I never left.
We'll conquer Mount Neverrest! Discover the Hidden Pyramid of Toth-Ra! I'm telling you, my family is fearless! Aaaah! Aaaah! No! - [THUNDER] - [ZEUS] Raaah! Foolish son, inviting mortals into the pantheon! Father, they are my friends! Please, cease your wrath! Nuh-uh! Donald out! I shall face my fellow god in a manner befitting Olympus.
Hey, Beardo! You stink! No! You do! Go! Go! Goooo! - Unh! - Waaaak! Yaaah! [CROWD GASPING] Huh? She's sprung her trap! [DELLA] The gargantuan Gilded Man tore through El Dorado - [CROWD GASPS] - Oh, my craters! annihilating everything in its path like Rraaah! - [CROWD GASPS] - But I looked the bionic behemoth square in its cold, unfeeling eyes, I climbed up his craggy armor, burst inside, and tore him apart from within, bringing his tyrannical, mechanical reign to an end! - Ohh! - Whoa-ho-ho! [CROWD CHEERING] Oh, nothing that exciting ever happens in Tranquility.
That's why it's called Tranquility, not Robot-Monster-Town! Ooh, is there a Robot-Monster-Town on Earth? Not once I'm done with it.
- Aaah! - Penumbra.
Your orders were to see that our guest has a pleasant stay.
I don't think getting speared would be very pleasant, do you? No.
Just a little? No harm is to come to Della.
But she is filling their heads with Earth lies and making me I mean, us.
the Moon seem inferior by comparison.
She's sharing the wonders of her culture.
Like this rocket! So intricate, yet so simple.
Why, all she has to do is flip this little switch to launch the Spear into space.
Remarkable! You have to think about the big picture, Penumbra.
[THUNDER] I'm counting this as a win! Whoa! Oof! Oh, Aerodynamic Donald, who knew that your bold brand of goodness could be matched only by your Gotta rest.
Everything's fine.
[DEEP BREATH] Waaak! What are you doing here? - Well, I huh?! - Nothing! Definitely not checking your pockets for spare million dollar bills.
No, neither of you.
Him.
Why are you trespassing in my togs, goat? [DEEP, SOPHISTICATED VOICE] I'm no goat.
This is merely my terrestrial form.
Oh, no! And the laws of man do not apply in the ethereal realm of Goat'hool, a netherworld of treasures untold and petulant orcs! Enter, nobles, and ye shall be kings! - [DONALD GASPS] - Kings! Wha-haa! Treasure! Aww, come on! [ROCKET ENGINE FIRING] Unh! Unh! - [FIRING] - Unh! [OOHING AND AHHING] Oh, my! It's working.
Thanks.
All of you.
I'm finally getting back to my family on Earth! [CROWD] Hooray! Earth! Earth! Earth! Earth! If you all think Earth is so great, why don't you just go already?! Can we please go with you? Ooh! We could get our very own dog.
Ooh, and dress it in slap bracelets! [CHEERING] I wish I could take all of you, but the Spear is too small.
There's no way you'd all fit.
[CROWD] Awwwww! But the great hero can do anything.
Surely she could do it if she wanted to.
[CROWD GASPS] Was it something I did? Was it something you did? Are you embarrassed by our primitive Moon ways? No! I really wish I could take you, but it's just not possible.
I thought nothing could stop the amazing Della Duck.
Too bad.
A failure, a liar, and she snores.
[GIBBOUS GASPS] How could she? Or maybe it is possible.
What? No! Penny's right.
I learned rocket science, I rebuilt my ship, why can't I fit you all in the Spear? I don't know! Why? No, honey, she's saying she can.
Oh, really? Oh ho ho! Thank you! [CHEERING] You all helped me.
This is the least I can do.
Pack your bags! We're all going to Earth! [CROWD] Yeah! - Earth! Earth! Earth! Earth! - Rrrr arrr! Waah! Oof! So you see, Louie, true royalty comes from within.
Yeah, right, sure.
So the real king won't be needing this crown, right? Wha [SHIVERING AND BABBLING] Oh, boy.
You don't look so good.
I'm fine.
Everything's f-f-fine [HUEY] Uncle Donald, I need a caravan of camels [DEWEY] I got an offer to host Dewey Dew-nite in Demagorgana! [WEBBY] There's a sword horse stampede [HUEY] to search for the desert ship of Galleon! Everything is not fine.
Uncle Donald? - [WINCING] - It's a mass exodus! - [SNAP] - Ow! Lieutenant! She's brainwashed them with lies and magical bracelets! She's gonna get them killed! Slow down.
What's happening? She's taking them all to Earth.
She's destroying Tranquility! Our people have to be free to make their own decisions.
She's a liar! She's definitely up to something, and she's never washed a dish! - Who you talking about? - [GASPS] Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.
I We weren't talking about you.
We were talking about another foul beaked beast.
You don't know her.
I found this over by the statue.
You guys helped me fix my Spear.
It's only right that I fix yours.
Thank you, Della, that's too kind.
These are my kids.
Their heads aren't really shaped like eggplants.
I'm not a good artist.
But thanks to you, I'm going to have a chance to be a good mom.
I know what it's like to be separated from your people.
To be forced to trust someone else to protect them.
No one could ever protect your people as well as you, Penny.
But as long as they're with me, I'll try with all I've got.
I promise.
- [POUNDING] - Waaah! Oh, no! The kids! What now?! - - [PARTY HORN TOOTS] What's all this? Uncle Donald, you work so hard taking care of us.
[DEWEY] And we don't make it easy.
[LOUIE] Often on purpose.
So we arranged a month-long cruise in the glassy waters of the Caribbean on the S.
S.
40 Winks.
[WEBBY] No phones.
No adventure.
And lots of hammocks.
Thanks.
But I can't leave the boys.
Who's going to keep you out of trouble? We have an entire family to keep us safe.
Go relax.
Plus the cruise is non-refundable, and I will not give charity to layabout cruise companies, do you hear me, lad?! Okay, maybe Della's not pure evil, but she's still planning to take my people to that planet of nightmare horrors tomorrow.
Uh! Why can't she just go now?! [SPEAR RINGS] [DELLA SNORING] [SNORING] [SPEAR COMPUTER] Launch sequence activated.
T-Minus 40 - 39 - Buh? I told you, Penny, I'll wash the dishes tomorrow.
[GASPS] The Spear! What's going on?! I don't know? There must have been a malfunction! I can't stop it! The emergency launch is irreversible! Go! Get back to your family! But what about the others?! I can't leave them behind! I promised! We'll build more.
Give me the plans for the ship.
We'll build a fleet, and we'll follow you to Earth shortly.
You've inspired my people, Della! Let me return the favor! [SPEAR COMPUTER] Thirteen 12 11 ten nine eight seven six five four three two one.
[DELLA] I'm coming, boys! Mom is coming home! - [LASER BLAST] - [LUNARIS GROANS] Sir, what are you doing? - [CROWD MURMURING] - Huh? What's going on? The Spear, it's gone! Della betrayed you.
She betrayed us all! She lured us with sad stories and fabulous falsehoods about Earth so that we'd help her rebuild her ship.
Then when the time was right, she attacked me! But what about her family? And all those stories? An elaborate deception.
- Oh, no! - But why? Because she was just the first wave of a bigger attack.
She lied to us so that she could get back to tell her fellow Earthers that we are weak! Soft! Primed for an invasion! But are we going to hide down here - and wait to be invaded? - [ALL] No! Or are we going to take these plans that I wrestled away from the traitor as she fled, and use them to build a fleet of ships and invade them first! [CROWD] Yes! And prove that the Moon is the greatest planet in the universe?! Yeahhhh! We are the mighty! We are the Moon! [CROWD] Moon! Moon! Moon! Moon! Moon! [PENUMBRA] You wanted this all along.
You brought her and her ship here.
Got them on her side.
Why? Because the others are not warriors like you and I.
They needed a reason to fight.
So I gave them one: betrayal.
And I got her to give me these, with a little good old Earth compassion.
But you're risking the lives of our people! - Aren't you afraid that - No! I will not spend my life in fear of the Earth like my father.
The Earth will fear me.
But why did you pair her with me? Honestly? It was the only way I could get her to move here.
She actually liked you, Penumbra.
Said you reminded her of her brother.
- [CRASH] - Huh? Huh?! It can't be! Della?! Della? Della! Where are you?! [CLICK, ALARM] [SPEAR COMPUTER] Launch sequence activated.
Aw, phooey.
T-minus 60 - Thirty eight - Uh! Uh! No! - three two - No! Nooooo! one.
Waaaaaak! [BIRDS CHIRPING] I'm home.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]