Emily in Paris (2020) s01e05 Episode Script

Faux Amis

Okay, so the chef has a girlfriend, and guess who it is.
All I do is play guessing games with the kids.
- Please, for my sanity, use your words.
- Camille.
The beautiful blonde from the gallery? Beautiful and genuinely nice, which shouldn't be allowed.
It's, like, just choose one.
I wish Gabriel had told me he had a girlfriend before I thanked him with my mouth.
- I thought you just kissed him.
- I did.
Your English is as confusing as your French.
- Yeah, I feel stupid.
In both languages.
- Look, French men are flirts.
Just act normal when you see him.
- But I'm trying not to see him.
- Oh.
Which is kind of impossible when we live in the same building.
I really like him, and I just thought that he… - Ugh.
I don't know what I thought.
- Oh.
Un café s'il vous plaît.
Um, j'aime le café, les fruits et un croissant avec le préservatif.
Okay, there's a vending machine for that in the men's room.
What did I just say? "Préservatif" doesn't mean preserves.
You just ordered a croissant with a side of condoms.
- Oh, my God! No, I don't want that! - She's gonna bareback her breakfast! - See, I can't get anything right.
- It's a common mistake.
They're called faux amis.
So, "un crayon" isn't "crayon.
" It's "pencil.
" - Mm-hmm.
- "Un médecin" isn't "medicine.
" It's "doctor.
" - Faux amis, is that, like, fake friends? - Yep.
Like you and Camille.
You're gonna be friends with her but just so you can stay close to her hot, hot boyfriend.
I'm not doing that.
And I'm trying to avoid her, too.
Oh, good.
Look, direct hit coming our way.
- Incoming! - Hey.
- Hey.
- Oh, hi.
- Mwah! - What? Camille! - I'm so happy that we have the same café.
- You remember Mindy? - Yes, of course.
- Great.
Oh, yay.
I'm just grabbing some croissants for Gabriel.
I can never get him out of bed in the morning.
Aw, sleepyhead.
- Best kind.
- Mm-hmm.
So chic.
But may I? - Just, yeah.
- Oh.
Like, you know, French way.
On the side.
Oh, let me take a photo of you for your emilyinparis account.
Wanna get in? - Get in! - Okay.
Yeah, sure.
- Say, "Amies.
" - Amies.
So cute.
Oh! I will follow you so you can tag me.
- Oh, my God, you have so many followers.
- Oh, Emily knows how to make friends.
You okay? The scarf too tight? I got this burnin' I got this burnin' I got this burnin' feeling inside me - My head is spinning - Hmm.
The planet's sealed… Bonjour! Check this out.
Durée Cosmetics just DM'd me on Instagram.
They invited me to their influencer lunch today.
- You? An influencer? - I know.
They must have mistaken me for someone else.
But I love Durée.
They were the first lip gloss I ever bought.
Well, not actually bought.
My friend Cindy stole it from Target.
- She's a teacher now.
- Hmm.
Sounds right.
Oh, it's at… it's at the Hôtel d'Évreux? Is that good? No, none of this is good.
We don't speak of Durée in this office.
They used to be a client.
What happened? We don't speak of it, Emily.
Sylvie, just curious It is customary to knock, wait for a reply, then enter.
I just noticed you don't have a cosmetics company on your roster.
What an illuminating insight.
Did you ever have one? Bobbi Brown? Laura Mercier? Durée? A representative from Hästens Luxury Beds is coming in tomorrow, and I expect you to have great campaign ideas.
Of course.
But can I just go back to the cosmetics question? - No.
- Okay.
Bring the Eiffel Tower to bed.
Huh? For Hästens.
That could be the slogan.
They're Swedish, so using a Paris landmark may not No, no, no, no, no.
Not the Eiffel Tower.
- The Eiffel Tower.
- He means the sex position.
The woman is on all fours, and the two men, one in front, one in back, and they, uh… - How you say "clap"? - High-five.
Wait, why do they high-five? To make shape.
- Eiffel Tower.
- Please put your hands down.
Uh, but then it's only London Bridge.
Not as fun.
Yes, that's true.
Okay, well, I would love to stay and educate you on workplace harassment, but I've got a lunch.
- You're going? - The event that dare not speak its name? Yes.
I just need a one-on-one with Olivia Thompson.
Their CMO? - You're insane.
- Well, they think I'm an influencer.
Maybe I can influence them to stay at Savoir.
- Bonjour.
I'm Em - Oh! - Aw! Hi, mon amour! - Hi.
- Ça va? - Très bien.
Wow, what a cute dog.
I love goldens.
Well, you should follow him.
It's CashmereGoodBoy on Instagram, and he just hit 100,000 followers.
Thank you, my love.
Do you have one for Cashmere? - But of course.
- You know he'll get jealous.
Name? Bonjour.
I'm emilyinparis, and I was invited on Instagram.
Everyone was.
Um, can I get a big one like Cashmere? Oh, let me check.
Not enough followers.
So now, please integrate the products in your social media content.
We expect a minimum of five posts.
With your tiny reach, make it ten.
Oh, I'm on it.
I'll give you quantity and quality.
Um, can you point me in the direction of Olivia Thompson? She's about to speak.
Thank you all for being here.
We are thrilled to be sharing this season's incredible product range with such global tastemakers.
Enjoy lunch and please remember to tag Durée in your posts so that we can track your social media impressions.
Have fun.
Miss Thompson, can I please have a moment? May I help you, Miss emilyinparis? Bonjour again.
- I… I'm really here to speak to Olivia.
- No, no, no.
If you want her attention, I suggest you post.
Très bien.
With macadamia butter and jojoba oil, Durée is smudge-proof.
Even when you're berry hungry.
Durée is smudge-proof.
Even when you're berry hungry.
I like her.
She's clever.
- Uh, she's eating the decor.
- Where do we know her from? - Mm.
- Ah.
I know exactly who she is.
I was 13 when I first tried Durée's lip gloss.
Funny story Oh! - Pardon! - Can you give me some space? Swipe up and enter Durée for 20% off my antifungal yoga pants.
And ow.
CeliaSplits? Um, I just tagged you.
I'm emilyinparis.
Oh, don't piggyback on my brand.
Get it? Goodbye, and thank you.
Olivia will see you now.
Yes! ¿Cómo? Her? ¿Perdona? She only has 20,000 followers.
I have two million.
Two million.
Do you understand, or shall I spell it out for you? Emilyinparis.
You created a meme using the Vaga-Jeune post.
You even got Brigitte Macron to retweet you.
The Daily Mail called it a re-twat.
Very proud moment for me.
It's really nice to finally meet you, Olivia.
Some creative content today.
And your product knowledge is first-rate.
You're quite the brand ambassador.
Well, it's easy when you love the brand, and this was a really great event.
- I'm glad you're enjoying it.
- We saw you eat the wall.
So, what agency do you use? Oh, we don't anymore.
Agencies are overpriced and antiquated.
Now, we prefer to use influencers like you.
The future of marketing.
Well, I actually have a master's in marketing.
And I think that I could do much more for you than this.
Really? Such as? Olivia, they are waiting for you at the dermabrasion station.
Uh, but, uh, I would love to tell you more about it.
Could I… Could we meet later or…? Tomorrow.
 Lucien will set it up.
You're not working? Um, I'm working from home.
You didn't move to Paris to sit alone in your room.
- Oh, I… I - We're not taking no for an answer.
- Right, Gabriel? - We rarely do.
We are going someplace really nice.
You will love it.
This is incredible.
Starry Night.
One of my favorites.
Mine too.
Did you know Van Gogh painted it while having a nervous breakdown? Uh, no, I, uh… I did not.
Well, he was in an asylum in Saint-Rémy-de-Provence, and this was his view.
Well, I guess that explains his crazy genius.
Let's lie down.
Oh, oh… okay, sure.
If… Oh, wow.
I love sleeping under the stars.
Remember the last time we slept outside? Yeah.
We didn't sleep.
So, you guys are campers, huh? Never mind.
Ah, this is incredible.
I feel like I'm… actually in the painting.
Danielle! Étienne! Excuse me.
I really like her.
She likes you too.
I wouldn't have kissed you if I knew you had a girlfriend.
It's okay.
You didn't know.
Well, why didn't you tell me? I didn't know you were gonna kiss me.
You… did kiss me back.
It is a normal reaction, no? I guess.
I… Well.
I just thought that you felt… Ugh.
It doesn't matter now, so… Clearly, it was just me, and I made it all up in my head, so… forget it.
Forget what? The… The kiss in your kitchen.
I don't remember.
It must not have been very good.
Well, it wasn't.
- Unmemorable, in fact.
- Then it's forgotten.
We will just go back to being neighbors who have never kissed.
That's all we ever were.
In London, Rome, and New York, huge crowds watched Tilda Swinton sleep in a box.
Why? Because she can make anything interesting.
But also because watching the act of sleep is intoxicating.
We watch our babies sleep.
We watch our lovers sleep.
And now… as Parisians window-shop on the Champs-Élysées, they'll see two gorgeous models sleep and spend the whole day on a Hästens bed.
An unflinching but flattering life portrait of luxury.
I like, but not love.
I feel like I've seen it before.
Do you have any other ideas? - Bring the Eiffel Tower - No.
May I? If you must.
Our dreams transport us to magical places that we try to capture in film, music, and art.
But we only dream when we sleep deeply.
The superior quality of Hästens beds allows us to dream our best dreams, but why must that only be in our bedrooms? Why can't it be under the stars? We should be able to fall asleep anywhere.
Let's harness the power of social media and ask people to come sleep with us.
Stage the bed in the most irresistibly Instagrammable spots in this beautiful city: the Jardin du Luxembourg, the Louvre.
And post photos of real people, not just models, sleeping and dreaming.
All thanks to Hästens.
Perhaps even under the Eiffel Tower.
- High-five? - No.
I am so glad you were at our event, Emily.
You are the best type of influencer.
One that doesn't realize the influence they have over others.
Well, you know I love Durée.
I do.
Uh, no.
No, no, no.
Um… I'm sorry, Olivia, but I can't be your brand ambassador.
- You're under contract with someone else? - Well, yeah, kind of, um… You see, I had a bit of a unfair advantage at your lunch.
I'm a marketing executive at Savoir, and I think you should come back.
Savoir? This was a very clever way to get a meeting.
Well, we'd be very clever for Durée.
I fired your agency.
- They're a very expensive dinosaur.
- Expensive? Yes… but you get what you pay for.
And it's different now.
I work there.
Does Sylvie Grateau? She does.
Then it's not that different.
Those influencers at your lunch didn't care about your brand.
I respect what they do, but they're driven by self-promotion and swag bags.
We could promote Durée more creatively and intelligently than they ever could.
You're wrong, Emily.
You could be more successful as an influencer.
Again, I'm… I'm not an influencer.
Well, you're clearly under the influence of this city.
You're high on Paris, and your followers are falling for that.
We're keeping our marketing in-house.
But this has been, uh, interesting.
Look after yourself, Emily.
I know Sylvie won't.
- Emily! - Yes? Is this the American way to overpromise and underdeliver? Excuse me? Klara from Hästens wants to do your outdoor bed idea, and now she expects their bed to be in le Louvre.
So maybe you can find a nice spot for the mattress under the Mona Lisa.
Good luck.
We can figure that out.
This is great news, though.
Oh, is it? 'Cause you already look quite busy.
- They invited me as an influencer.
- And you thought going was a good idea? I was hoping to win them back.
And what makes you think we want them back? If you're their new arbiter of taste, we want nothing to do with them.
Companies hire Savoir to raise their standards, not lower them.
Sylvie, we're on the same side.
It's not you personally.
It's everything you stand for.
You're the enemy of luxury, because luxury is defined by sophistication and taste, and not by emilyinparis.
Your social media's a problem for us.
I don't think you understand its value.
Oh, well, I think I do.
You worked for Durée for free, right? How does that look to the brands that actually pay us to represent them? Okay, so what do you want me to do? Delete your account.
Hmm? - That's censorship.
- I know.
She can't force you to delete your social media.
- Get your dad's lawyers involved.
- My dad doesn't have a lawyer.
- He breeds Weimaraners.
- Hmm.
Yeah, you have to delete it.
Oh, when you dropped your crepe.
- #OhCrepe.
- Ugh.
I'm not sure who I am in this city without emilyinparis.
Ask Camille.
She's liked every one of your posts.
Oh, I know.
She's, like, the nicest, coolest… …French person I know.
- I thought that was Gabriel.
- No, he's just the hottest.
And a problem I can't solve tonight.
But one that I can is saying goodbye to my account.
So, one last story? Let's send it off with a bang.
Tchin-tchin! Whoo! - Whoop, whoop! - Thank God.
And after 90 minutes of being on hold, they finally transfer me to the permit department, only to say, "Pas possible.
" Pas possible! Pas Possible! Pas possible! Everything is pas possible.
It's the French motto.
Yeah, well, it turns out the only person who is able to put a bed in the Louvre is Beyoncé.
Yeah, duh.
Beyoncé's worth far more than the Mona Lisa.
- Aw! - I thought you'd like it.
It was voted the prettiest street in Paris… - Mmm.
- and is referred to as ruelle qui va au bout.
Which means, "the road which leads to the end.
" Ah.
It's perfect.
 It's perfect.
One last one? Let's do it.
One last one.
- Okay.
- Ah.
You're out late.
You're out late.
Just closed the restaurant.
Five, two, one, three.
Like an upside-down pyramid.
- After you.
- No, please, I insist.
I insist.
You sunk me up… It wasn't just you.
I'll come in the afternoon It's fine - You scrape my mind… - I felt it too.
Good night, Gabriel.
Yes, of course.
Of course.
Emily, bring me your phone! Sure.
Show me the last picture you posted.
Uh, I can't.
I shut it down like you asked.
- Well, reactivate it.
- I don't understand.
You said Fine.
Oh, that's Place Dalida, right? Yes.
What is this about? Klara, that Nordic witch from Hästens, called, and she wants to stage the bed there.
- That's - I'm not finished.
- Okay.
- She wants you to post there first.
Why me? Yeah, I've been asking that question since you arrived.
I assume it's to draw a crowd and encourage others, like those followers of yours, to post from there too.
Sure, but… what do you want me to do about my Instagram account? Well, I guess you're an influencer now.
But only for our clients.
You win.
We're on the same side.
Yeah, right.
Thank you.
- Merci.
- You're welcome.
Emily? Oh, salut! Come.
What is this? It's a social media installation for Hästens beds.
They're one of our biggest clients, and I thought of the idea after our night at Van Gogh.
- Mm.
- You inspired me.
- I did? - Mm-hmm.
I wanted you to be the first to see it.
I'm calling it "Dormir à la belle étoile.
" Mm! "To sleep under the stars.
" Emily, your French is getting better.
Well, that's because I have French friends now.
Yes, well, I was relieved to hear from you, you know.
You seemed a little tense when you left the other night.
It's Gabriel, isn't it? Uh, what… what do you mean? Just that, I mean, I know he can be unfriendly before you get to know him.
But give him time.
He will warm up to you.
- If you say so.
- Mm.
I'm so glad he has a nice neighbor like you.
I hope the three of us can be friends.
Me too.
So, do you wanna get in bed with me? Mm, I thought you'd never ask.
- Cheese.
- Cheese.
It's so comfy.

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