ER s04e20 Episode Script

Of Past Regret and Future Fear

ER Previously on ER We do not need a Pediatric Attending here.
Don't worry.
It won't happen.
think I have what it takes to be an Attending? Of course you do.
- You've been a great friend.
- But? But there's this other guy.
Both adults we enjoy each other Why not? None of you wants the family involved in your lives.
- He's not gonna break my heart! - Men like him don't change! - Start an epinephrine drip.
- And a heart transplant too? Pizza? "Past Regret And Future Fear" Sleeping Beauty awakes.
I was just checking my messages.
You didn't even stir when the alarm went off.
Dead to the world.
It's not that often that I get a chance to sleep in.
Don't rub it in.
Some of us have to work Sundays.
Oh, please.
You know I've had my share.
Well, you're welcome to stay.
No reason to waste a warm bed.
No, no, no.
Actually, I need to get going.
There's tea and toast.
You'll have to boil the kettle.
But I think you can manage that.
I've gotta go somewhere.
Not some other clandestine meeting, I hope.
Reece is getting baptized today.
Protestant or Catholic? - Why? - Just curious.
I would've invited you- It's a family thing.
You have time to go and change? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Well, have a good time then.
Could you lock the door on your way out? - Sure.
- Great.
Hey, Peter.
It was really lovely last night.
- What are you doing? - I'm hungry.
- You can't start without her.
- Why not? I knew this brunch was a bad idea.
- She's a little late.
- We should've met on neutral territory.
I told you that deep down, your mother likes me.
Keep dreaming.
- Finally.
- There you go.
What happened to your front step? Did you get a flat tire? Why are you late? Javier, this is my daughter Carol.
- And her friend Doug.
- Nice to meet you.
Sorry we're late.
I couldn't get your mother out of the house.
Excuse me? You know how she is.
Has to be perfect.
Allow me, sweet pea.
I'll get this.
Can I get you guys a drink? - You have orange juice? - Yes.
- Two mimosas, please.
- You brought champagne.
Aren't we celebrating? Two happy couples, right? Did you see how he kept touching her back? I wasn't paying attention.
- You were busy laughing at his jokes.
- He was funny.
And "sweet pea"? If he called her that again, I was gonna barf.
- I thought it was great.
- They met at the racetrack.
Now, that was a senior citizen outing.
So? They let anybody in those groups.
Now, that's not true.
This is the nicest your mother's ever been.
I want to keep it that way.
You don't understand.
My mother hates men.
- "Hate" is a strong word.
- But accurate.
- Maybe she's getting some.
- Don't even go there! - How was it? - In like Flint.
- I got it.
- You look like hell.
You gotta love Saturday nights.
ICU's packed.
Two muggings, three bar fights, four gangbanger drop-offs and a bad stroganoff from a wedding reception.
And the guy who licked his girlfriend's shoe.
- Why's that? - She asked him to.
- Had to do a tongue culture.
- On that note, anybody hungry? No.
Anna actually brought Sunday doughnuts.
Cake isn't enough? You have to deep-fry it? That's the point.
- How long you on? - Twenty minutes.
Medevac is incoming.
Chemical accident.
Bad chemical burn.
Hold the elevator.
Going down? Up, actually.
Up's fine.
I'm surprised to see you here on a Sunday.
Well, I'm just full of surprises.
Covering the ER? You've signed up for a lot of extra coverage.
You know, idle hands Lizzie, I think it's time you and I had a little sit-down.
- Is there a problem? - No problem.
Let me buy you lunch.
- Is it about the HemoAid study? - That and the future.
- All right.
- Good.
Then in about an hour? - You said hydrofluoric acid? - Yeah! - Not hydrochloric? - I don't think so.
Why? - It's that- - I heard we had a burn victim.
- Actually, chemical burn! - How bad? - What do you got? - Canterna, 31-year-old security guard.
Chemical burns to the trunk, right arm and both legs.
- Doused with hydrofluoric acid.
- What happened? The vat was leaking.
I tightened the valve.
Just lie back and relax.
I tried to rinse it off.
I gave him 5 of morphine, You feeling any more pain? - It's okay now.
- All right, let's move him.
Good morning.
Usually improvement occurs within the first months.
He's still working on his motor skills.
Chase's progress has slowed considerably.
All the more reason for aggressive therapy.
He can get that at home.
I want what's medically best for my cousin.
I think this is a big mistake.
John, it's often wise to listen to the perspective of those not personally involved.
Chase is getting worse.
He's lost all function on his left side.
He just favors his right.
You have to force him to use his left.
I wish it were that simple.
It is.
John, please.
Hey, Chase.
How you doing? How you doing? You want to draw? He was left-handed.
He was drawing last week.
Want to draw something? This isn't necessary.
Okay? - Okay? - Okay.
Go ahead and you take the pencil.
No, no.
Other hand.
Come on.
He can do this.
It's okay.
It's okay.
There you go.
Now you're all set.
What do you want to draw? - You.
- You want to draw me? Okay, go ahead.
I rushed him.
I rushed him.
Can't rush him.
All right? There you go.
Let's try again.
He needs calcium chloride, Five amps? Then set up an infusion.
One gram every 15 minutes.
So, Mr.
Canterna, feeling any more pain? It's getting numb.
Is that bad? Our immediate concern is the fluoride in the acid.
Like toothpaste? Not exactly.
The calcium can be drawn out of your cells.
What does that mean? Well, it depends how much has penetrated your skin.
We're giving you calcium intravenously to counteract the effect.
- Is there any family you want to call? - What are you not telling me? Hydrofluoric burns can be serious.
Is there any family you'd like us to call? No, I don't really have family in Chicago.
Okay, I'll be right back.
Carol? Keep an eye on him.
Make sure he's comfortable and watch his heart rhythm.
- Tell me if his leg gets worse.
- It's not his leg I'm worried about.
- You look nice.
- Thanks.
Hey, is Carla here yet? Inside.
Hey, Uncle Peter.
Where is she? - Who? - Your girlfriend.
- Steven! - You said he had a new girlfriend.
Well, I don't.
Dad said Grandma was turning over in her grave.
That's enough.
Go in there and get a seat.
Oh, come on.
- You remember Roger.
- How are you doing, man? Carla, can I talk to you for a minute? - All set? - Yes.
We should do a little rehearsal before everyone arrives.
Mom and Dad- I'm the father.
- I'm sorry.
Who's holding the baby? - I am.
Can we just step back here? Yeah, come on.
Everybody move around and make way.
Thank you.
No, no, no.
That's good.
That's good.
Here you go, little pickle.
Mom in the middle.
Dad right here on the end.
Right here.
That's good there.
Thank you.
I wasn't even supposed to go into work today.
I was home restoring my car and the weekend guy called in sick.
I figured I could use the overtime.
- What kind of car do you have? - She's a '63 Vette.
She's a nice one.
And she's got matching numbers.
I'll fix her up.
She'll be worth- It's hurting under my skin.
I'll give you something more for the pain.
- How long will this hang me up for? - It's hard to say.
He's already severely hypocalcemic and the leg is necrotic.
Any EKG changes? Prolonged QT.
He's at risk for an arrhythmia.
What does Toxicology say? Hydrofluoric burns of this magnitude are always fatal.
There's no new treatment.
- His family on the way? - He doesn't have any in town.
You might have time to fly somebody in.
I guess I'd better go tell him.
This is really starting to hurt.
We can do something about that.
Another 5 of morphine.
Are you okay? You don't look so good yourself.
Canterna, the calcium we're giving you can't reverse the chemical reaction in your body.
What do you mean, chemical reaction? The fluoride is binding to your cellular calcium to form calcium fluoride the crystal salt that seeps into your body tissues.
So, what does that mean? We're already seeing changes in your cardiogram.
So now what? As the calcium level in your cardiac cells fall your heart's going to begin to fail.
Are you saying I'm gonna die? - We're doing everything we can.
- Is that a yes? Yes.
How long? Days? Maybe 12 hours.
Is there anybody you'd like us to call? Mr.
Canterna? I don't feel that bad.
Let me know if the pain increases.
It hurts.
I just don't feel like I'm dying.
We'll do everything we can to keep you comfortable.
Maybe he's got it wrong.
Shouldn't he call a specialist or something? You guys are giving up on me- We're not giving up on you.
I promise you that.
We'll do everything we can.
Are you sure there isn't someone we can call for you? - It's too late.
- How far away are they? No, I've been gone too long.
She won't come.
Who won't? My daughter.
-21 years old.
Complains of neck- - We're full here.
Next room.
Neck, back and ankle pain following a 75-foot fall in the river.
- From where? - From a train bridge.
Sinus rhythm, A and O times 3.
ETOH on breath.
Sensory and motor exam, normal.
Okay, CBC, dip a urine, cross-table C- spine, chest and pelvic x-rays.
- Does that hurt? - A little.
Okay, and lift.
- What were you doing on the bridge? - It's a long story.
- How about here? - No.
- BP's 120/70.
Pulse is 112.
- Is that bad? We're just checking everything.
Good peripheral pulse.
Normal cap refill.
Follow with bilateral ankle films and call Psych.
- I don't need a shrink.
- Relax.
Everything's fine.
I didn't jump, if that's what you think.
- I didn't jump.
- Did you take any drugs? No, I was there with my buddies.
We were just fooling around.
- How much did you drink? - A couple beers.
Well, you also have a couple of broken ankles.
Throw in a BA.
- Where are you going? - Just relax.
Everything okay? Joker jumps off of a bridge and walks away with ankle fractures.
Called Psych? I'll tell Weaver.
- Surgical consult? - Trauma 2.
He changed his mind.
He wants to see his daughter.
- I thought he didn't have any family.
- He hasn't seen her in six years.
- How old is she? - Six and a half.
- Oh, boy! - I'll take care of it.
- You sure? - Go home.
I should stick around.
There's nothing else for you to do except hold his hand, which is my job.
- All right.
Thank you.
- And another breath in.
- Got a sec? - Sure.
I'll be right back.
CBC, pulse ox, lytes, ABG and a chest film.
Still waiting for an ICU bed.
Pulse ox is falling slowly.
I haven't talked to him about a vent yet.
I wanted the news to set in.
Carol is looking for the family.
- All right.
Have a good Sunday.
- Thank you.
I know you're busy.
I don't usually come to the ER for the flu.
But I can't seem to beat this cough.
- How long have you felt fatigued? - About a month.
Any weight loss? I've been so stressed planning this wedding.
Is that a daughter or a granddaughter? It's my wedding.
After 4 years, I told her it was time to make a commitment.
Well, good for you.
Gives me a month to get better.
No promises.
You might have pneumonia.
We'll know more after the chest x-ray.
Didn't you have that voodoo woman yesterday? - She's back? - Yeah.
She says voodoo man has taken over her body.
This isn't the same one.
Mine was 60.
- I had a voodoo guy last week.
- Oh, no.
Voodoo epidemic.
Ma'am, your ex-husband is in critical condition.
I know you are at work.
He just- Look, he's going to die tonight.
He just wants to see Molly.
- Anybody home? - What have you got? Pedestrian versus auto.
Head contusion, brief LOC, broken arm, vitals are stable.
- What's open, Chuny? - Curtain 3.
- Curtain 3.
- Cerebral palsy? I don't know.
He couldn't tell us if he was hurt.
- No one was with him? - Nope.
Just found him on the street.
- Sir, can you tell me your name? - No use.
You can't understand him.
He might have a subdural.
That could impair his speech.
- We should get a head CT.
- How do you do a neuro exam? It would help if we knew his baseline.
Sir, can you push against my hand here? All right.
Let's start with a C-spine.
- Have you seen Elizabeth? - No.
- Wasn't she called down? - I just got here.
- Anna? - She's right there, actually.
I thought you weren't coming in.
I wasn't, but I decided to come in and do post-op notes.
- You look dapper.
- Thank you.
- How was the baptism? - Good.
It was good.
- Nothing afterwards? - Want to go eat? - I've got this thing with Romano.
- What thing? Lunch.
I think it's about my fellowship renewal.
- You really came in for post-op notes? - Yeah.
I'll see you later? Yeah, I hope so.
You should call the military.
They might have an antidote.
My buddy says they use stuff like this.
Yeah, it's not really the same thing.
- I just wanted you to know.
- I know.
- Did you find her? - I talked to your ex-wife.
What'd she say? She said that she's sorry, but She's not gonna bring Molly? No.
She knows what's happening to me? That's okay.
- Maybe this is for the best, I guess.
- I'm sorry.
I was gonna make it up to her but I guess I ran out of time, you know? You'll have to let us know if you want to be put on a ventilator.
- Dr.
Weaver, do you have a minute? - Yeah.
What is it? Auto vs.
Possible head injury.
- What's the problem? - Cerebral palsy.
He's tough to assess and we don't want to hurt him.
All right.
Call me at the first sign of arrhythmia.
- He might be posturing.
- No, he's conscious.
Is he on any meds? I don't know.
We can't understand him.
- Did you check for Med-Alert? - Let me grab this.
- I need a C-spine.
- X-ray, Trauma 2.
No, I got him.
- When did you call? - I didn't, but I need it.
- So do I.
- Well, how bad is yours? - How bad is yours? - I need a hand here! - Grab that gurney.
- I need a C collar and a backboard.
- I got him.
- Conni, get Doug.
- Why didn't you call 911? - I thought I'd be faster.
- How long has he been unconscious? - He just stopped crying.
- Pulse is weak.
- What happened? We were washing the car.
I didn't see him.
- We need that room! - I backed up a few feet.
Get that guy out of there! We're gonna roll him.
Hang on.
Roll him.
- Did you drive over him? - I think so.
Get Radiology over here! - Cap refill is poor.
- What's going on? I need 2 units of O-negative.
Get me a crit.
Type and cross for 6.
Put him on oxygen, 10 liters by mask.
Dip a urine.
Pupils are equal and reactive.
I've got a line in.
Saline, 20 cc's per kilo bolus.
That's 30.
That's 600, right? BP is 70/30.
Pulse is 144.
Abdomen is distended.
No bowel sounds.
- Can't wait for a CT.
- Let's prep for a peritoneal lavage.
- I'll get a kit.
- Pulse ox? - You okay in there? - Where are the lavage kits? - Down and right.
- What's that? - What? - Lavage.
It's a procedure to check for internal bleeding.
- That sounds pretty bad.
- Well, you never know.
Is it a boy or a girl? It's a boy.
You could go in there if you need to because- No, no, no.
They got it.
Can I ask you to do something for me, nurse? Yeah.
I have a couple of thousand dollars in my savings account.
Can you make sure it gets to Molly? - Sure.
Do you have a will? - No.
I didn't get around to it.
But I want to make sure I get her the money.
It's not much, but I want to give it to her.
I can get a public notary in here.
I'll take care of it.
- You promise? - I promise.
But don't tell her that it came from me.
I don't want her to think I'm buying her forgiveness.
Hallway's blocked.
- Got the blood.
- Hang a unit, I'll start a second.
A rapid induction, Cut.
Cricoid pressure, please.
I didn't mean to do this to you.
- I didn't mean to do this.
- Crike's 28.
Lavage is positive.
Call the O.
Tell them we're on our way.
- Doug, are you done? - Almost.
Hang on, hang on.
- Got it.
- We have to do a laparotomy.
What's wrong with him? We have to control the internal bleeding.
- I need you to sign a release form.
- Okay, just don't let him die.
- He has a good chance.
- Hold that elevator! Conni, you gotta cover my patient in Trauma 1.
- You're leaving? - Everything is on the chart.
- Where are you going? - Can you do it for me? - Sure.
- Thank you.
Don't let him die! - I need you to sign.
- Don't let him die.
- I understand.
I understand.
- Please? Don't let him die.
Turkey burger, please.
No onions.
What kind of salad dressings do you have? Caesar, ranch, Italian, blue cheese, honey mustard Catalina, oil and vinegar and poppy seed vinaigrette.
I'll have the soup.
So - So.
- Enjoying your year? It's been educational.
I bet.
Thoughts of staying, come fall? I've entertained the idea.
Is that what you wanted to talk about? No, not exactly.
Must I guess? There's no way to say this but flat out, so here goes.
Our relationship has not moved in a direction I would have liked.
I have trouble communicating these types of feelings.
But the fact is, I find you very attractive.
- Dr.
Romano- - Let me finish.
I don't know what your long-term plans are and I'm not foolish enough to think that colleagues can have an involvement without entanglements.
But we have a lot of common interests and we share the same schedule.
And it makes sense.
So I would really like you to consider a date.
Going out with me, on a date.
What do you say? I'm flattered and shocked.
Really? I thought you'd see right through me.
No, not at all.
However seeing as I do work for you I don't think it would be such a good idea.
Not that under other circumstances Oh, I see.
You have a policy.
- Yes, I do.
- No fraternizing with people at work.
Okay, I respect that.
Just pretend that I never said anything.
I'm sorry.
No, hey.
I had to give it a shot.
You know what's funny? For a while, I thought I was competing with Benton.
Can you open your fist? How about your fingers? Just do that.
How about just your fingers? What are you doing? Weaver said to examine him like any patient.
- By pinning his arm down? - I'm isolating finger motion.
- You're not afraid of hurting him? - Actually, yes.
- He's trying to tell me something.
- Head CT's normal.
No subdural bleeds, no sign of brain abnormalities.
He opened his hand.
How about that? He's got a bad lac.
He might've cut a tendon.
They didn't teach this in med school.
I guess we could call a hand surgeon down here.
- What did you do? - Nothing.
- Is he having a seizure or something? - I don't know.
The x-ray indicates you have what we call atypical pneumonia.
- What does that mean? - There are several kinds.
- Do you have any birds in the house? - How did you know? Psittacosis pneumonia is carried by small birds.
What is it? Is it a parakeet or a dove? - A falcon.
- A falcon? Only thing Daniel loves more than me.
That's not true.
I want to go to Italy for our honeymoon.
He didn't want to leave Sinbad that long.
Who's gonna feed him? - What does he eat? - Partridges.
It's not pretty.
He doesn't eat them alive.
We kill them and clean them first.
That's where I come in.
Well, that's probably how you contracted the pneumonia.
I'll get a blood test to see what type.
But we can treat it with antibiotics.
Funny, I thought I was covering the ER.
I was there, so I took it.
What happened to your post-op notes? - I thought we were past these games.
- Excuse me? The adolescent competition.
He was in bad shape.
Give it a rest.
Peter, I was simply commenting on how strange- You don't "simply" do anything.
- Something the matter? - The boy could bleed out.
I mean, with you.
Has something happened since this morning? No.
I'm fine.
Benton, I didn't know you were working today.
I am now.
I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one without a life.
sustained splenic fracture - Bus tour? - Thank you.
Sandy Madder? Hi, I'm Carol Hathaway.
We spoke on the phone about your ex-husband.
I'm sorry I can't help you.
Just go right on.
I'm working, okay? Look, I don't pretend to know the history here.
That's right.
Your ex-husband isn't gonna make it through the night.
Paul walked out on us.
Here you go.
Bus tour.
He just left.
He couldn't hold a job, couldn't handle it.
I feel bad for him, but he's not a part of our lives.
- Bus tour? - All he wants to do is see Molly.
He was never there for her, but now he wants her to watch him die? You really want him to die alone? Who are you? This isn't your business.
I'm not putting my daughter through that.
I understand how you feel.
And you don't know me.
But trust me, you're making a mistake here.
I was a girl when my father was dying in the hospital.
And I couldn't see him.
I wasn't given a chance to say goodbye.
You think you're protecting Molly, but she'll have to live with this.
Did you know him, your father, before he died? I remember him.
Molly won't remember Paul.
She has no recollection of him.
Now, I'm sorry, but he chose this for himself.
Has anyone seen Carol? She had some administrative stuff upstairs.
- On Sunday? - Something about payroll.
Canterna is asking for her.
He needs 40 Lasix, IV.
I'll get it.
Kerry, your labs came back.
Weinbach tested positive for HIV.
No, Mrs.
Weinbach is the older lady with the bird.
I made them redo it.
I asked for cold agglutinin and antibodies, not HIV.
Are you sure? It was marked on the form.
Oh, my God.
It makes total sense.
I don't know why I didn't think of it.
- Want to do another one? - No.
I can't do an HIV test without consent.
Now what? - He's been on methadone since birth? - Yeah.
- You haven't stopped and started? - No.
That's a long time.
It's tough on neurological development.
They told me to give him less, but it doesn't work.
Are you still using? What does it matter? - If you're breast-feeding- - I don't.
Your baby has a high fever.
He's sweating.
His pupils are dilated.
He has an abnormally high heart rate.
All signs of withdrawal.
Now, why would that be? I don't know.
You're the doctor.
When was his last dose? Come here.
I ran out.
My clinic is closed on Sunday, so I came here.
More methadone? It's what he needs.
You don't need it? What? You're using your baby to get methadone.
I can get that for free.
I think you come here when you can't score.
- I don't need this.
- He needs to be admitted.
No way.
You'll call the cops.
You come here because no place else will give you the stuff.
If you leave, that baby won't get treatment.
Then give me some and let me go! Until next time? Vicki, you addicted your son.
You strung him out.
Don't you think it's time to do something right? Wait for his family.
Someone will be looking for him.
What if he's homeless? He couldn't survive out on the street alone.
The cops are checking the neighborhood.
He can't live that far.
Hey, take it easy.
Take it easy.
It's okay.
- Why does he keep banging? - Maybe he is telling us something.
I don't understand.
What is that, ring? Ring? - Ring what? - A phone? You want us to call somebody? Lie still if that's what you want us to do.
- Four? - Four? Four what? Are you giving us your telephone number? Four is the first number of your telephone? - Here.
- Four, then what? Then two.
Two? I'll tell the father, and I'll meet you in Recovery.
Your son sustained irreparable damage to the blood vessels supplying the spleen.
We had no choice but to perform a splenectomy.
But he's alive? Yeah, yeah.
No, of course.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank God! Look, in time he'll make a full recovery.
Now, listen to me.
He's gonna be prone to certain infections so he'll need to be vaccinated against- Thank you.
Thank you so much.
I made a mistake about the birds.
You may have what's called pneumocystis pneumonia.
- Is that worse? - We need to get a sample from your bronchial tube to confirm it.
But since it's the defining illness of AIDS, we should do an HIV test.
- AIDS? - That's a good one.
- We need to be sure.
- You don't know Loretta.
- Can I speak with her alone? - Why? No, it's all right.
Daniel's practically my husband.
To tell the truth, we made a mistake.
We need written consent from our patients to test for HIV.
However, we tested you by accident, and it was positive.
- I don't understand.
- It was a mistake, a mix-up.
Perhaps another test would remove any doubt.
I'll take care of this.
Give her something for the pneumonia and we'll go.
- I can't do that.
- Don't make me report you.
- Excuse me? - You tested her illegally.
Yes, but it would be unethical to let her leave untreated.
I don't want to burden her with this.
Have you been tested? I'm not talking about me, all right? There are drug programs that would drastically enhance both your lives.
Can't you say they're for something else? Either you should find a way to explain it to her, or I'll have to.
You disappeared on me.
I needed to check on something.
Molly's still not coming? I'm afraid not.
It's okay.
It's better this way, she doesn't see me.
Want to write her a note? I could take something down.
It's too late.
It wouldn't be fair.
I think she'd really like to hear something from you.
I was gonna make it up to her, I swear.
I called her a couple of times last fall.
You can guess how that went over.
I figured they just needed time.
I'm so glad you called me.
I was going crazy.
I can't believe he was able to give us your number.
Lorenzo, I am so sorry.
I lost all track of time.
I got stuck with the rejects.
I'm sorry.
John Carter.
You understand? Katherine Dunlap.
I'm Mr.
Lorenzo's personal assistant.
It takes a while to get the accent.
Accent? He says you're a little slow but he'll forgive you.
Can you tell him that they need to operate on his hand? You just did.
He understands English.
It's one of his many languages.
He's a leading expert in hieroglyphics.
That's fascinating.
I understood that.
Would you excuse me? - Thank you.
- You're welcome Mr.
Gamma? Oh, John.
I'm sorry to bother you at work.
What's wrong? I'm not happy the way we left things earlier.
Do you have a moment? Yeah, sure.
- Do you want to sit down? - No.
Thank you.
John, I respect your opinion.
If you think we should keep Chase at the institute, I'll support that.
I can't guarantee that it'll make any difference but I won't give up on him.
I never intend to.
Neither do I.
I'm glad we've got that straightened out.
Me too.
I understand the freedom that comes with financial independence.
But money or not, we're still your family.
I know.
You were always your grandfather's first choice.
He's much too proud to come to you now but he'd really like you to come to him.
What are you asking me? Finish your residency if you must.
You can always practice medicine part-time.
But your family needs you, John.
We need you to run the business.
I don't know.
Think about it.
No, I don't need to think about it.
Gamma, I can't.
I'm a doctor.
It's all that I've ever wanted to be since Since your brother died.
Since I was a kid.
And there's nothing else for me.
You really love it that much? Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
Forgive me for asking.
I had to try.
I'll see you on your grandfather's birthday? You will.
I always wondered what you'd be like when you grew up.
Hey, Conni? Whose patient is this? I think it's Doug's.
- Where's the mother? - I don't know.
Yeah, it's Doug's.
Get him, will you? Hi, sweetheart.
It's okay.
It's okay.
- What happened? - I just found him alone.
- Unbelievable.
- Yeah, well, this baby has a fever.
He's in heroin withdrawal.
The mother's stealing his methadone.
So she split? - I told her to do the right thing.
- Maybe she did.
It's okay, buddy.
No, please.
Leave it open.
How much longer? It's hard to tell.
Not long.
I'm scared.
I won't leave you.
Do you have things you wish you did different? Doesn't everybody? You should fix it if you can.
Want me to read you back the letter? "Dear Molly: You don't know me.
I'm your father.
I suppose I shouldn't even call myself that.
You're the best thing I ever did with my life.
Leaving you was the worst.
God knows I haven't done much for you while I was alive but if there's a place called heaven and they let me in I promise to always look over you.
Please forgive me.
I'm sorry I never got to know you.
" Me too.
I'm gonna start to worry about you.
First you work on a holiday and now I find you alone, standing out here in the dark.
- What are you doing out here? - Looking for you.
Well, you found me.
That brooding veneer is part of your appeal but I thought I'd broken through most of it.
I should be at Carla's restaurant celebrating my son's baptism.
I see.
And you're here because? I don't want to feel like an intruder.
Like I have to share my son with Carla's boyfriend.
Do you? He spends all the time with him.
How do I compete with that? You're his father, Peter.
You don't have to compete.
Then I thought I'd come and see you, but you had that lunch thing.
Are you jealous? Well, your instincts were right.
- Romano propositioned me.
- Are you serious? What did you say? I lied.
I said I don't date colleagues.
It's cowardly of me, I know.
That's okay.
I lied too.
What, about me? So much for a relationship without complications.
You know what? Screw it.
- Come on, let's go.
- Where? - To the party.
There's still time.
- You don't have to prove anything.
Elizabeth, I know that.
I just want to go.
You should go, but you should go alone.
For your son.
This is his day.
Yeah, you're right.
Hey, thanks.
Listen, if it's not too late Listen, I'll be up.
Are you kidding? Hey, Anna! Hey, Carter.
Want some cookie? - You off? - Yep.
You? - Another six hours.
- Bummer.
- Did you discharge Mr.
Lorenzo? - Yes.
He even gave me his web site.
Why? So you could feel like an idiot? Max! Oh, sorry.
That's okay.
What time is it? - Ten to 2.
Are you on call? - I'm waiting for Carol.
She should be ready.
They called it a half-hour ago.
- I'll just be another minute.
- That's all right.
Take your time.
Tough one, huh? - You okay? - Yeah.
You sure? He kept asking for his daughter.
I never thought of it like that.
Maybe he was asking for me.
Maybe he wanted to see me and I never came.
- Your dad was probably in a coma.
- I don't know.
I've lived my mother's version of it for so long, I don't know what memories are mine.
What's her version? Everything was all right.
That it was an accident.
He was depressed, Doug.
Maybe it's time you talked to your mom about it.
After he was gone, my mom used to go on and on about how you can never depend on men.
Now she's head over heels and I'm the one holding back.
How messed up is that? It keeps me on my toes.
I say I want time, but the truth is I'm scared to death of losing you.
Well, don't be.
I'm so sorry, Doug.
Don't be.
I love you.
I love you too.