Erky Perky (2006) s03e20 Episode Script


Life was good
on Hot Dog stand ♪
For two bugs
with food demands ♪
Had our last meal
one sunny day ♪
They got caught
up and swept away ♪
Into Kitchen's
where they landed ♪
We're so hungry ♪
And we're stranded ♪
Finding food is
quite a mission ♪
Other bugs are competition ♪
Now, just one question ♪
How do we find our
way back home? ♪
(bright percussion music)
(Perky panting)
(Perky mumbling)
(Erky snoring)
- Hey, Erky, look what I found.
- Well, then, since you
got to find it, Perky,
I guess it's only fair
that I get to eat it.
- But I
But, but, but, but
(Erky chewing)
(Erky burping)
- But of course, Perky,
I'm willing to discuss it.
(Erky snoring)
(Perky whimpers)
- [Bugliebeard] Land ahoy!
- Huh?
- [Bugliebeard] Drop anchor!
- Perky, please, keep quiet.
(Perky whimpering)
- Erky.
(trumpet playing)
- Perky, will you please
(Erky screaming)
(birds chirping)
(majestic chanting)
- Avast, ye landlubber.
Watch will ye be going.
- Where I'm going?
Who do you think you are?
- The meanest bug who ever
sailed the seven seas.
I, Bugliebeard the pirate,
and I claim this land as mine.
(Erky screaming)
- Argh, oh argh, argh,
argh, argh, argh, argh.
- Argh! So ye be pirates then?
- No, argh, argh.
- Then why are ye
talking like a pirate?
Saying, "Argh" all the time?
- We're not pirates.
- Then stop dancing the
secret pirates' jig,
or I'll run you through.
- (crying) All right, all
right, we're pirates, really.
Right, pirate Perky?
- I'm not a pirate.
- Good.
For I be needing a
sturdy pirate crew
to help me hunt for treasure.
- What sort of treasure?
- The only sort of treasure
there is for a bug.
- (screams) Argh. (laughs)
- Double argh.
- So you've found
treasure before?
- In my time, I've seen a
crumb so big and mighty,
it took a whole year to devour.
- (laughs) Argh. (laughs)
(grand orchestral music)
(Erky laughing)
(Erky sighing)
- I've seen a corner
piece of a cookie
that took a hundred
bugs to carry.
- (screams) Argh. (laughs)
(grand orchestral music)
(Erky laughing)
(audience cheering)
- (whooping) Argh,
argh! (laughing)
- But that's nothing compared
to the fabulous treasure
I now be hunting.
- (shouts) Argh. (laughs)
This is great. (gulping)
(Erky gulping)
(laughing) Argh,
argh, argh. (laughing)
Count us in, Bugliebeard.
- I don't wanna be a pirate.
- Oh, sure you do.
- But are ye tough enough?
- Of course.
Watch this. (groans)
- Ow!
- Can ye take all
kinds of punishments?
- Of course we can.
- Can we take being tossed
around in a mighty storm at sea?
(Erky babbling)
- Oh, I'm sure we can.
- Can ye take being
rammed by an angry wave?
- Oh, oh! (coughing
and wheezing)
We, we can take anything, if
there's food at the end of it.
Right, Perky?
- (whimpers) If
you say so, Erky.
- Then welcome
aboard, me hearties.
- (moaning) Aboard what? Where?
- The mighty Black Banana,
and you're about to build her.
Argh, argh, argh.
(Erky and Perky groaning)
(Erky and Perky groaning)
Faster ye lazy landlubbers,
or you'll feel the sting
of the gnat o' nine
tails, argh. (cracks whip)
(Perky whimpering)
(birds chirping)
- I'm not sure the pirate
life's for me, Erky.
- (cracks whip)
Argh, argh, argh!
- Perky, Bugliebeard's
promised us food,
and that's more than we've
ever got from Mad Margret.
- (whimpers) Yeah, and
she's got load of crumbs.
- What's that, my hearties?
Loads of crumbs?
Right here in Kitchen?
- Argh, yeah, forget about it.
It's protected by
the most hideous bug
you'd ever want to
meet, Mad Margret.
- I be not afraid
of any bug, ye hear?
(Erky crying)
The hideous Mad Margret's crumbs
will be our new
bounty, mateys, argh.
(Erky and Perky
gasping and crying)
All for one and one for all.
(Erky and Perky whimpering)
- Erky, we can't
beat Mad Margret.
- We can't, but
Bugliebeard sure can.
We'll have a hold of
Mad Margret's crumbs
before you can say Jolly Roger.
(bright percussion music)
- Argh, argh.
Ahoy, me hearties!
Swiggle the foresail.
- Huh? (sighs)
(Perky whimpers)
(sail crashing)
- Argh.
(Perky wheezing)
Toggle the afts starboard.
(playful instrumental music)
- Uh-oh.
(Erky and Perky screaming)
(door crashing)
- Argh.
(Erky and Perky groaning)
Raise the rig-twiggers, argh.
(Erky sighing)
(Bugliebeard cracks whip)
(Perky whimpering)
Midshipman Perky
to the crow's nest.
We need a lookout.
(Perky screaming)
(Perky whimpering)
- [Perky] Help.
- Argh, that's no
way to be a lookout.
(Perky whimpering and groaning)
I'll help ye, sailor boy.
(Erky gasps)
(Perky screaming and crying)
(barrel crashing)
(Perky screaming and crying)
- (crying) Argh, Erky!
- That be the spirit,
midshipman Perky.
Argh, indeed.
- Is it a threat, Margret?
(both buzzing)
- Not for long, Cecil.
(Erky and Perky groaning)
- Stand by to repel boarder.
(Erky moaning)
- Whoever you are, I'm
gonna teach you a lesson
you'll never forget.
- Argh.
(Perky crying)
How to be old and ugly?
- What?
(both shouting)
(Cecil groaning)
Stand still!
Now I've got you just
where I want you.
- Just what I be thinking,
ye crabby old crone.
(cage whistling through the air)
(Mad Margret screaming)
(Cecil screaming)
(cage crashing)
(Mad Margret screaming)
- Argh.
(Erky laughing)
- I think I need to
be somewhere else.
- Let me out!
- (laughs) Now what was that
lesson again, Margret? (laughs)
(Mad Margret growling)
Argh, Perky.
- Ow, Erky.
- Argh.
(Perky whimpers)
(Perky whimpers)
(Perky whimpers)
(mysterious instrumental music)
- Give me the key
to your food larder,
or you'll walk the plank,
you black-hearted bug, argh!
- Never.
- Show that pumped up purple
bully no mercy, Captain.
- I'm not afraid.
- Really?
- Of course, it's only--
- As wet as Davy Jones'
locker and completely glues
your poor, old wings together?
(Cecil buzzing)
Last chance, your horde of
crumbs, or a watery end.
- You'll never get
your hands on my food!
- Just push her off.
- But Erky.
(Mad Margret screaming)
(Cecil screaming)
(Perky gasps)
- Hooray! (laughs)
(wind blowing)
- That'll teach her to
mess with Bugliebeard.
(exciting instrumental music)
(wings flapping)
(Erky and Bugliebeard laughing)
(Mad Margret and Cecil buzzing)
(Erky and Bugliebeard laughing)
(Perky whimpering)
- Perky, cheer up.
We'll never see that mean
old Mad Margret again.
Just her food larder. (laughs)
- But Erky, she's just
- She's just what, Perky?
Just the ugliest, bossiest,
greediest bug in Kitchen?
Ha, no more!
- No, she's just
(gulps) behind you.
(Erky screams)
- Did you miss me?
(Erky screaming)
- Argh.
- Oh, Margret, you're safe.
I'm so relieved.
- Well, my trusty sword won't
miss you this time. (groans)
(Erky panting)
- Aha!
- Argh.
- En garde. (groaning)
(Bugliebeard screaming)
- Oh. (groans)
(both bugs groaning)
Oh. (exclaims in disgust)
- [Bugliebeard] Argh.
- (cheers) That's it,
Bugliebeard, finish her off.
- Say good night, Margret.
(Cecil groans)
(Mad Margret groans)
(Mad Margret chuckles)
- Huh?
- Aha!
- (laughs) That's it, Margret.
Finish him off.
(Margret growling)
- I thought you
were on his crew.
- No, it was all a trick.
I was just about
to lead a mutiny,
and come and rescue you.
- Yeah, but Erky, you said
- Argh.
- Not so fast.
- Argh, abandon ship!
- Come back here!
(wings flapping)
(Erky sighing and
Perky whimpering)
Now, what was that
about the ugliest,
bossiest, greediest
bug in Kitchen?
(Erky laughing nervously)
(somber electronic music)
(Erky and Perky groaning)
- Oh, this is all
your fault, Perky.
I should never have
let you talk me
into signing on
with Bugliebeard.
- (whimpers) But
Erky, it was you who--
- I told you it would
lead to trouble.
(cracks whip)
(Erky and Perky crying)
- Trouble?
I'll give you trouble if
you don't get back to work.
- [Erky and Perky] Yes,
Margret. (groaning)
- Argh.
(Mad Margret and Cecil laughing)
Hardy har, har, har. (laughing)
(lively instrumental music)
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