Everybody Loves Raymond s02e05 Episode Script


You stepped out of bounds.
Throw the flag.
He's out of bounds.
Don't you shut that door on me, young lady.
Ally, what happened? - You get back here.
- No.
- Ally.
- No.
She won't finish her piano lessons.
- I don't want any stupid lesson.
- Hey.
I'm trying to watch here.
- Marie, what happened? - Well, I've never had a student like her.
She just slams the piano lid down and runs out of the house.
Is this how you raise your daughter? When the game's on, it's her daughter.
Ally, if you don't take your lessons seriously you cannot play the piano.
You have 20 minutes of arpeggios left today.
Are you coming back across the street or not? No.
Hey, Ally You know, Marie, maybe we should just let it go for today.
Let it go? Fine.
We can let it all go.
We'll let it all go.
You know, without discipline, Mozart would have been one of those bang-ganging rapsters.
Snoop Motzy Mozart.
Ally, do you want to tell Mommy what's wrong? - Does Grandma scare you? - No.
Well then, what is it? Piano's boring.
Boring? Ally, you've had three lessons.
Honey, if you really don't like it and you don't want to do it anymore, you don't have to.
- That's it? - What? No more piano, just like that? That's okay? What? If she doesn't want to take piano lessons we're not going to force her to, are we? Well, what if she's great at piano? You've got to stick to stuff.
You don't quit after three lessons.
Did I quit asking you to marry me after three rejections? No.
You don't get anywhere if you quit.
I don't want Ally to be like that.
- Ray.
- What? I had no idea you'd feeI so strongly about it.
I'm glad that you do.
You know, I feeI very strongly about it.
You know what? You should tell Ally that you want her to continue - No, wait, me? - Yes.
Sweetie, come here.
- I don't want to be the one who forces - Come on.
I was watching the game, that's all.
Sweetie, Daddy and I were talking, and Go ahead, Ray.
- No, you're doing good.
- Come on.
You've got a knack for this.
I need a vase.
- You need a vase? - I broke a vase.
Mom's blue vase.
I'm ironing, right? Okay.
Let's go.
What is with you? Mom's already upset about "the one who quit the lesson.
" I don't want to be "the one who broke the vase.
" I'm still "the one who broke the bidet.
" Hey, Uncle Rob, you know what Grandma told me? She sees potentiaI in Ally.
And Grandma's a pretty good piano teacher.
She doesn't see potentiaI in just anybody.
Well, that's true.
She tried to teach me piano when I was a kid, but I got the nosebleeds.
That's why you'll notice some of the keys are still a little discolored.
- Did you take piano, too, Daddy? - Yes, I did.
- You did? - Yeah.
We took lessons from Grandma.
- So you can play piano? - No, that was It was a long time ago.
Did you quit? - How's that book? - It's great.
You like it? - How long is it? - Ray, do you want to talk? If you want.
I know you feeI bad about Ally.
Well, I mean, how can I tell her not to quit, when When you're a quitter? Thanks.
What's that book about, gelding? Nobody would blame you for not wanting to take piano lessons from your mother.
She gave me a knitting lesson once and by the end of it, I wanted to impale myself.
My mother is not why I quit.
Well, you know, I'm no shrink, but of course it is.
No, it wasn't her, okay? It was my father.
- He wasn't very supportive.
- What do you mean? He hated the idea of me taking piano lessons.
He thought a boy should be out playing ball and stuff and What are you saying, that you miss the piano? Well, I don't know, you know? My mother was a really good teacher.
In fact, I tell you, some of the best times we had were at the piano.
She was different there, because she loved the music, and that just made her nice.
What the hell was that? I just can't believe how adorable you are.
I never knew you had all these feelings.
Don't tell anybody.
But, yes, I'm full of feelings.
- I have an idea.
- Good.
Take some more piano lessons from your mother.
- What? - Yes.
- No.
- Listen, not for you.
Just to show Ally.
Just enough to be able to play a song or something.
- No.
- To set an example.
- I can't.
- Sure you can.
- Come on, I'm - Are you a quitter? You know, I'm going to stop being so adorable if this is what I get.
What are you doing? Have you been lifting weights? God.
You don't need that thing.
Just pick up the house and shake it.
What do you want from me? Are you hungry? - I'll make you something to eat.
- No, I'm not hungry.
Listen what are you doing after vacuuming? I reload the bag and go again.
I was wondering if maybe later on you could maybe give me a piano lesson.
Maybe later.
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
- You're making fun of me? - No.
You don't think I know the kids make fun of me? - Nobody's making anything - "The old piano lady.
" Yeah, like I'm from the lost world.
Maybe if more children took piano lessons instead of shooting lessons today we'd be better off.
They don't take shooting lessons, Ma.
They just shoot.
Go ahead.
Go buy your kids guns, that's what they want.
Guns and crack, go ahead.
- You should do whatever they want.
- Mom, listen, you were right yesterday.
I don't think Ally should give up piano so fast.
So I wanted to play something for her to set an example, to showher, you know? - And I need a brush-up, a lesson.
- That was 25 years ago, Raymond.
So? We pick up right where we left off.
Come on.
Look at this.
See, I sit here, you sit there.
Remember? - I remember.
- So? Come on, it's still good, still nice.
Remember nice? No yelling, we break later for a chocolate milk, butter cookies - You're serious? - Yeah.
I want to do this, Ma.
Ma? I knew you'd come back.
Get up.
- We were working on this piece.
- You kept my music? - We don't throw out music.
- You got what I was wearing in there? I think it was bell-bottoms and a vest with fringes.
Raymond, I'm so What's all this? Robbie, your brother's returned to music.
You can never turn your back on your talent.
You know, I was thinking of taking up the drums again.
Just got to scoop the kitty litter out of the bass drum.
That's silly, Robbie.
You're a policeman.
I'm a sergeant.
Come on, Shamsky.
Let's go scratch.
You remember this one? You almost had it down.
Theme from Love Story.
" See, and your posture's still very good.
Leaning in.
- Sitting up's for the dinner table.
- And relaxed elbows and in.
We're not flying away.
You do remember.
All right, shall we try it? No pressure.
- Just take your time.
- Okay.
- Okay, wrists up.
- Right.
- Okay.
- What's that note? - C.
- C? No, that's not a C, sweetie.
Does it have a line running through it? - Yes.
- Well then, how can that be a C? - F-A-C-E, "face," are the ones in the spaces.
- Right.
And E-G-B-D-F are the ones with the line running through it.
You know that.
- What's E-G-B-D-F? - "Ellen Garvey's behind deserves framing.
" I don't like that, Raymond.
- Sorry.
- It's "Every girI bakes delicious fudge.
" - Or "Eric GunseI boinked " - Raymond.
That's how I remember it.
You got the fudge way.
- Get up.
- What? You're obviously unprepared for this number.
- We need a practice book.
- I hate the practice book.
- Here's the brown one.
- Brown.
Now, do you want Pretty Polly or Eskimo Boy? Well? - Pretty Pollyy.
- Okay.
There you go.
All right.
Wrists, posture.
Ready? Prettypolly is a polly - Go ahead, third finger.
- Where? Where? Get up.
Why? Because it's too hard for you.
You need the purple book.
All right? - What's this note? - "B.
" Get up.
- The orange book.
- Orange? You skipped the blue book.
You have to earn the blue book.
You don't even know the basics, Raymond.
Don't you listen to me when I talk? - That was 25 years ago.
- You remembered Ellen Garvey.
Her behind deserved framing.
You think that's funny? Well, you listen to me.
There's nothing funny about throwing away your talent.
- Come on, Ma.
What talent? - You had talent.
You had potentiaI.
You had sensitivity.
Look at your fingers, they're beautifuI.
Come on, Ma.
I'll try Eskimo Boy.
Hey, Ray.
- The rat go home? - Rat? Yeah, I heard your mother giving a lesson to one of her piano rats.
I was hiding out.
Yeah, the rat went home.
Jeezaloo, I hate the sound of a kid on that thing.
I'm going to chop it into kindling and put a big vibrating chair right there.
Yeah, that'll sound better.
You bouncing around in a chair.
- You want to watch the Jets? - No, thanks.
Listen, Dad, when I was taking piano lessons as a kid how come you never, you know Killed myself? I was going to say "encouraged me.
" Encouraged your piano lessons? Why the hell would I do that? I don't know.
I heard some parents were into encouraging.
You know? Maybe you could've been better about it.
What in the holy name of crap are you talking about? Nothing.
You always ragged me about practicing the piano - and I think that's maybe why I quit.
- Good.
Good? I don't think so, Dad.
What are you saying? Are you saying I didn't do my job by you? I did my job.
I got you away from that thing.
I got you outside.
Who taught you how to hit, catch, throw? Who took you to Shea Stadium? And, hey, am I mistaken, or does somebody here make a decent living now as a sportswriter? No, I think what you meant to say was, "Thank you, Dad.
" I could have done music and sports.
No, unless you want to play the organ at Shea.
At least those songs are good.
Hey, you sorry I didn't take you to ballet class? Hey, I think I did all right by you.
All right? What did you do, Dad? Maybe I liked the piano, you know? Maybe I had potentiaI or something.
I don't know.
Here, all right? Catch the damn ball, you stinking hump.
- Listen, Ma, I'm sorry.
- No, I'm the one who's sorry.
I shouldn't have expected you to remember all those things.
I overreacted.
You know, I have that.
- The overreaction thing? - For years.
It's just that What? Sports is so stupid.
Who would've ever dreamed that a child of mine would end up in sports? - I like sports.
- I know, and you're very good at it.
You know what the amazing thing is? That I can function at all.
You know, when I was a girI, I loved the piano.
And my mother wanted me to play, too.
But she had these ridiculous expectations for me.
And I always disappointed her.
How? Fingers, short and stubby.
But then, the point is that I love music.
And I wanted to impart some of that to Robbie and you.
Except that every time your brother sat down at the piano Nosebleeds, yeah.
I mean, a mother shouldn't be disgusted, but But you, you had an ear.
- And fingers.
- Yes.
- Well, I know why I quit.
It was Dad.
- No.
It wasn't your father, it was you.
Okay, your father his idea of culture is an undershirt with sleeves.
But you were the one who lost interest in the piano, Raymond.
- No, I liked the piano.
- No, you liked the idea of the piano.
I liked the lessons.
We had nice times.
But you wanted to go with the other boys.
Running and punching and spitting.
What could I do? I had to let you go.
I didn't want to be my mother.
Thanks, Ma.
Just know, you could've been something.
Just promise me that even if you don't play, you'll somehowhave music.
It is so important to have music.
Hey, any more pretzels or what? You got legs? I'm not your damn slave girI.
GirI? - I'll give you "ha.
" - Ma.
So you want to try giving me a couple more lessons? Why? You don't have to do it for me, Raymond.
I know.
It's for Ally.
I want her to have music, too.
- Raymond.
- All right, okay.
Raymond, you're so sweet.
Daddy, I got your pretzels.
So, Ally, what do you think? Nice.
Who wants to play T-ball? Me.
Everybody, come on.
One, two Nosebleed.

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