Flatbush Misdemeanors (2021) s01e02 Episode Script


- Zay!
- Oh, my God, what?
- What he doing here?
- Do you know him?
Yeah, that's my teacher.
Kevin's new to Flatbush.
He's just an honest struggling artist.
Don't say "struggling."
Just say artist.
No, no, no, no, no, yo, son!
You know how much that shit cost?
You got three racks on you?
You know he got a girl, right?
You should come hang out at practice.
You stole my fucking belt!
This belt is worth a lot.
I would love to trade it for my friend.
I still need two racks from you.
And at corn soup Sundays this weekend,
- we get it free now, right?
- Yeah.
Hey, hey, hey.
Ah, ah, ah, ah! Ahh!
Yo, these taste better when they free.
Look at Dami's story.
She got a new belt.
Gonna go fight her again today?
Stop being so messy, June, damn.
We just came from a little ass party.
And she just seen Will.
Ain't nobody thinkin' about Will
and all them little hoes that he got.
You was thinking about him tonight.
I think this could be really good.
Are we done though?
Yo, can I can I read this to you?
Okay. Will you listen? All right.
So here's what she wrote.
"I know this is last minute,
but I'm having
"a small get together for my birthday,
"Tilly's tomorrow night.
Would love to see you."
That sound like a regular invitation.
- I mean, that's all
- Did you hear what I just said?
She said, "Would love to see you."
She also signed it "J" instead of Jess.
That's affection,
and she only sent it to me.
Directly to me.
Maybe she already invited
everybody else.
I gotta get her a gift.
What's something
that says, like, "I love you,
but also I respect that you're
my professional superior"?
Could go either way.
Why would you get a gift for somebody
that makes more money than you?
- Yo, this shit actually worked.
- What?
I joined this Facebook group
for old people
and just DM'd them, offering
to paint a love one dead or alive.
This lady will pay me to paint
her dead husband by Monday.
That's huge.
- This is your first sale.
- Yeah.
That could also
be a big market for you.
Old people die a lot.
I don't see them painted much.
- Very rare.
- Yeah.
It'd be a good gift for her.
Oh, I think this is the good charger.
That's fine. I'm at 100%.
I'll get it tomorrow.
- Oh, fuck, this is not good.
- What? Is it Drew?
Y'all drunk?
Then get in the car.
How much longer you think
you and your daughter
gonna need free food?
For one, she's my niece.
And for two, you're gonna do
what I tell you to do
until I'm done telling you
to do it, all right?
All right.
Can I get the keys to the bathroom?
Um, we don't even have one
like that, so
Actually, I gotta use
the bathroom after Zay.
Oh, shit. I got you. Here you go.
Hurry up.
It don't flush, but there's
a plunger in there.
Yo, y'all definitely getting
a bad review on Yelp.
Let me get you some toilet paper.
- What?
- Who are you?
I'm-I'm Zayna's teacher.
You tried to kill Kevin
the other night.
We met then.
A'ight, yeah.
If a man came into your life,
wouldn't you want to compromise?
All right. Here we go.
If June have her same face
but Maya's eyes,
Yvette's toes, Kylie flossy baby hairs,
and Teyana Taylor belly button?
Bro, the fuck is you talking about?
Hey. Yeah.
- Yo.
- I got it.
How's it going? How's it going?
- Oh, yeah.
- What's going on?
Last night we smoked that shit,
I told you that L.A. shit
hit different, boy.
No, no, no, no, no,
Fuck that, fuck that. Real different.
Nobody different.
Nigga kills Zayna's shit
in the bathroom last night.
Oh, damn. Why do I
she not even bad, like
What? Bro, you body shaming nigga, son.
- Yeah.
- I love a big girl.
And you get to fucking lift
at the same time.
You know he had her in the air,
building his core, knees shaking.
She like, "Well, put me down."
He like, "Nah, shit,
I ain't giving up."
Stop being scared, bro.
Let them know you a slug. Get them lit.
Come on right now. What do you say?
Yo, listen to this, man, right, yo
All right. Here we go.
Let him know. Let him know.
Listen to this man, all right.
- Oh. I know Zayna shit.
- Uh-huh.
I was clapping her shit
in the bathroom.
Oh, dang, why the boys
taking so long to be here?
Oh, my God.
Bro, I thought you said Will ain't hit?
He didn't.
Look at Zeke's story.
- Oh, you know Zayna shit?
- Uh-huh.
I was clapping her shit
in the bathroom.
Zayn, you wasn't gonna tell us?
Tell you what? Nothing happened.
I believe you.
Well, them niggas ain't shit.
And you're trying to spin on him?
- What you trying to do?
- Oh, my God. Shut up.
What you trying to do?
You know they was in
the bathroom for a minute.
Shut the fuck up.
We was only in there for two minutes.
That's long enough. Hi.
Vote for Counselor Mendeseer.
She'll lower your rent
and keep Brooklyn, Brooklyn.
- Okay now. Thank you.
- I'm just saying.
Yo, you don't even know what
the fuck you be talking about.
I know niggas not talking
about running through me.
Because you're not
nothing to talk about.
- Bitch, fuck you.
- Fuck you.
Y'all need to chill 'cause
this ain't helping nobody.
Fuck her.
Zay, you mad at the wrong person.
That's why Dami don't fuck
with her no more.
- Zayna.
- And then you gonna say that?
Zayna. Zanna or Zayna?
Hey, yo, that's for Zayna?
Oh, I ain't know what building it was.
It's $25.60.
- I get that shit for free.
- What?
Drew's my uncle.
My uncle Drew.
We eat at your restaurant for free.
Who said that?
That big-headed boy
with the spacey teeth.
Your face look like my face
after I kiss you.
All right.
That's why you got long feet.
Oh, wow. Sir, you sleep on the couch.
- Do not come for me.
- Look at you.
- All right. You right.
- A whole couch.
You stay at your grandma crib.
You don't even pay rent. What you want?
Yeah. But at least I have a bed.
Girl, your bed look like this couch
without the back support, so stop it.
Oh, what the fuck? Man, shut up.
- What?
- Stop playing. Exactly.
Oh. See?
- See, look at you.
- You play too much.
You play too much. You're
the one that just did that.
You know this your dinner.
- All right, girl.
- Pick it up.
What the shit? Why you fuck with me?
You talk too much.
What you be thinking about
when you paint?
Um, it depends.
Sometimes it's a feeling.
Sometimes it's a person.
The best ones come out
when I'm not thinking
at all, though.
Oh, let me see the one
that you 'bout to sell.
Let me see.
- All right.
- Let me see, Mr. Artist.
Oh, it's it's nice.
It's nice. What you mean it's nice?
It's all right. What you want
I'm thinking way too hard
about this, man.
- Uh, what the
- Way too hard.
I don't know, man.
She said she always forgets
to water her plants.
Maybe I'll get her, like, a cactus
because those could be watered less.
What the what the fuck?
Why would you what kind of idea
It's not that bad an idea.
That was a harsh response.
- What's going on, bro?
- What's up?
- Oh, Jasmine, right?
- Hey.
- I'm Dan. Nice to meet you.
- You're Dan?
- Yeah. Hi. Oh, this is
- And you're?
- This is Kareem.
- And I'm Dan's daddy.
Don't ever say that.
This is Kareem. Don't do that.
- Don't do that to a stranger.
- My pleasure.
This is Kareem.
You going over at Al's, right?
No, it's at this bar nearby, Tilly's.
Make sure you try
the tamarind red snapper.
It's the freshest shit
on the menu, man.
Okay. Yeah.
I need an idea, man.
It's a birthday gift for someone.
Is she your girlfriend?
She's the vice-principal where I teach,
but we have very good chemistry.
- Oh.
- She not his girl.
Oh. Then get her a gift card.
I got I got me one
to Sephora once, and it was lit
'cause it let me choose.
What about that moon board I made you?
Moon board? Enough!
Oh, son, look at me, okay?
Listen, you don't need
to give her a gift.
You need to show her you care.
You know what I'm saying?
Action, my boy. Action.
The bigger the action,
the more she knows you give a fuck.
You know what I'm saying?
Knock somebody out in front of her.
- I would never do that.
- No.
I'm telling you, man. I'm telling you.
Find somebody who's disrespecting her,
and super slap the shit out of 'em!
- Super slap?
- Super slap them.
That's how she gonna know you care.
Not no motherfucking gift.
I'm telling you, man.
That's how I got your mama.
Oh, Jesus Christ, man.
You got to stop with the mom shit.
Oh, yeah, man. I remember, man.
Her birthday was coming up, right?
I don't remember the day,
but I remember the season.
- Yeah.
- NBA Playoffs.
Oh, yeah. You know I'm saying?
We was walking, and she was
telling me about some dude
who kept disrespecting her.
I mean, he just wouldn't stop,
and he tried that shit
in front of me, son.
And I picked up
a dead baby pigeon and ah, bah!
Dead baby pigeon to the face.
That's right.
He ain't never messed
with your mama again.
I'm dead.
That was your birthday gift to her?
That was what you got her
for her birthday?
Oh, no.
I bought her flowers, you know.
But when I tell you,
she didn't give a fuck
about no daffodils.
Now, that throw, that throw
is when she knew I cared.
You understand me, son?
Dead baby pigeon to the face.
Now, that's love.
So y'all are related?
I don't know why you stressing
about this Jess thing.
You hang out with her a lot.
There's not, like, a night social hang.
Like, we'll get lunch or whatever,
but it's always work adjacent.
Like, I just wanna show
that I care about her.
Like, not just work.
And why you going with that cactus?
It doesn't need a lot
of water or attention, so
Sorry if I interrupted
you and Jasmine earlier.
You good. I'm done with her.
You brought her over.
You must like her.
I don't care about her.
She got a long second toe.
You wouldn't be annoyed
at me asking about her
- if you didn't like her.
- Bro, can you stop?
Like, come on, man.
I don't really wanna talk about her.
Let's I'm about to sell
my first piece to someone
other than you or Georgia for once.
And Georgia only paid me to quit,
so let's focus on the positives.
I'm glad you're
putting yourself out there.
Like, that's a cool thing.
You should be happy about that.
Bro. What the fuck?
Somebody probably didn't show up.
Don't answer it.
What time are you dropping
the painting off?
As soon as I get it wrapped.
I don't know.
What do you think about this?
It's good. I love it.
If this was your dead granddaddy,
would you pay for it?
For sure.
I-I didn't like my grandfather, but
but this guy seems nice.
You lucky you get the weekends off.
I mean, I still have
to lesson plan and grade
and give Zayna an award every week
because of Drew like, I don't know.
Like, Zayna was supposed to do
this five-minute research
presentation on Friday,
but she just showed
her favorite TikToks.
I'm stealing from work for him,
so, um
I don't know how we would,
like, get away from Drew.
Like, maybe after the school
year I could try to
I don't really know
how I would swing it, but
Okay. All right. Yeah.
Hey, I got to go to work.
What? No, no, no, no. You can't.
You gotta drop off your painting.
Your art matters.
That's your first sale.
That's your passion.
That's way more important
than anything
- You can get your charger.
- Oh, that would be great.
- My phone's at, like, 2%.
- All right.
- I forgot it was over there.
- Yeah.
All right, what's going on?
I'm not on the schedule.
The boss said you had to close.
- Why?
- Something about you think
this is a soup kitchen or something?
Ah What the fuck, man?
Stop giving away free food, Kevin.
So sorry. I I
I think that's my charger.
Yo, Kevin.
Where that white boy at?
I haven't seen him.
There you go.
Come here, man.
Let me holla at you real quick.
He translucent, bro, in the light.
It's hard to see him sometimes. It's
Drew, it's good to see you again.
Zayna got an A, so we're doing great.
It was a hell of a comeback story.
Fuck all that.
This kid Will in your class.
You know where he live at?
What? Why do you need to know?
Why are you asking me
what the fuck I need?
I'm asking you a question.
Where's he live at?
I can't give you his address.
Yo, why is he saying
he fucked my niece?
You know he posted
that shit online, right?
How would I no, no, I don't know.
- How would I know that?
- You don't know?
You they teacher, right?
What are you gonna do about this?
What what do you want me to do?
I said, what are you gonna do
about this?
I don't I can't give you
his address.
I could lose my job if I do.
I can't give you his address.
I can't give you his address.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I can't.
Let me tell you something real quick.
You can tell um, I can hear you.
Now now, come here real quick.
I don't I can hear you well.
Like yo, what what are you
gonna come here.
Let me tell you something. Come here.
What the fuck you gonna do about it?
Back the fuck up, nigga.
Yo, look, look at her.
You see her face?
She don't deserve this shit.
Now, I'm gonna fuck this kid Will up
if you don't do nothing about it.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
I'll-I'll-I'll go with you,
- just to make sure it's
- So let's fucking go.
- Okay. Sorry.
- Don't go, bro.
I-I don't have it's fine.
- It'll be okay.
- Come on, man.
Oh, wait, wait, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
I just have a birthday party later,
and so I just wanna, you know.
- Go on, Zay.
- Hey, Zayna. You okay?
He gonna die.
Might do a pop quiz on Thursday.
Giving you a tip.
Sorry, Will's almost home.
So tell me what this is about.
So, Ms. Mitchell, uh, as I said,
I'm Will's teacher and Zayna's, okay.
So apparently there was a bit of
I'm Zayna's Uncle Andrew,
and Will did some
awful things to my niece.
What happened?
I'm sorry, can I get some chamomile tea
and then we could
discuss the particulars?
- Do you guys want anything?
- No.
Well, water for me,
actually, if that's okay.
Just a little bit of water.
Yo, bro, go sit over there.
Slide over there, man. It's tight.
Fuck. Murr, you leaving?
You do the dishes?
Oh, hell no.
Sherri personally told me
to leave all this work for you.
You gonna apologize,
or you're gonna make us
sit here all night?
My bad.
I ain't mean to do you like that.
Will, who are you talking to?
Lift your head up and look
this young lady in her eyes.
Apologize for putting
that trash out there,
and you better mean it.
I'm sorry for saying
what I said about you, Zay.
It was stupid.
I wasn't thinking
about how it'd make you feel,
and I wish I could take it back.
I'm sorry.
Okay. Cool. We got the apology.
Zayna forgives him. Everything's good.
Love, can I get some honey
for this tea?
- Sure.
- Yeah, I like natural stuff.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
Zayn, let me sit here real quick.
Let me switch with you.
- Ah, thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
You know, I'm really sorry
about all of this.
Between these two, I just don't
know what he was thinking.
- It's all good.
- No, it's not.
I it's really hard
raising this boy.
No, I know the feeling, trust me.
He's at that age where beating him
would hurt my body
more than it would his.
So I just I don't know
what to do with him.
No, you doing what you can.
Don't worry, he's a good kid.
Thanks for bringing her by.
No, thank you.
This means a lot for Zay.
She appreciate you.
Okay. I think we're
gonna head out now, right?
Andrew? Yeah? Okay.
Thank you, Ms. Mitchell. Lovely night.
It's lovely. The lamp's a little low.
Will, be careful with the rumors.
I wasn't here, okay?
So great to see you guys.
- Hey, are you single?
- What?
You know, I think we could
be good for one another.
Matter of fact, I got
a peacemaking gift.
Give me that give me the cactus.
Wait no, no, no.
I don't want that fucking thing.
That's what I said. This shit whack.
Get this shit out of here, man.
Listen, I ain't gonna lie.
I was coming to beat your son's ass,
but after seeing you,
learning your situation, baby,
I think you could benefit
from somebody like me.
Nigga, look around my apartment.
Does it look like I need a man?
- You gay?
- Okay. Bye.
- No, because
- Okay. All right.
Bye. Thank you.
We're gonna go, Andrew.
But she still had me,
so you never know.
- Yeah, let's go. Let's go.
- Okay.
Nice ow, ooh nice to meet you.
Yeah, I'll see you see you around.
Goodbye. Uh-huh.
I was putting my grandbaby to sleep.
It takes forever to get her down.
No, it's okay. I'm sorry I'm late.
So here's this.
You forgot his hat.
He wasn't wearing a hat.
Oh, this doesn't look
like the Percy I loved.
But you sent me a picture.
I painted exactly what you sent me.
No, it's very accurate.
It's just not flattering.
He looks so heavy.
- But he was heavy.
- I know.
But he shouldn't just be
shown the way he was.
You know what?
I'm going to just use
my niece's picture.
It's such a great job.
Let me show it to you.
Ma'am, I spent all weekend
painting this.
I spent six hours on his face alone.
I just left my job
because you said
you needed this thing tonight.
So I'll probably get fired.
I did all of this for you,
and now you're telling me that
what are you even telling me,
you're not gonna pay me?
Why would I pay you? I don't need it.
But you said you needed it.
You should take my niece's cookies.
They're peanut butter patties.
They're $20.
I'm fucking done with Drew, man.
We gotta cut him out.
We can't see him again.
We can't talk to him again.
We can't we can't, man.
So we're supposed to just say,
"Hey, Drew, it's been cool,
but we're growing apart."
No, we report him or
get a restraining order.
You think he'll listen to that shit?
He don't give a fuck about the law.
A restraining order
is not gonna stop him.
Let's say it works
and he's arrested, then what?
Then what? He goes to jail.
So he doesn't have any friends?
How long you think
he gonna be locked up for?
What happens to his niece?
It's not our problem, man. It's
I don't fucking know, man.
You good?
It's just when I'm stressed. I'm okay.
I might quit my job.
Why would you quit?
It's the only way he be getting to us.
If I quit, he can't get to us. So
He'll still show up at the school.
Yeah. But you got security there.
I didn't I didn't actually
make it to Jess' party.
Like, by the time I got there,
everyone was gone.
All right.
It's all just too fucking stressful.
Like, I'm just running around
for my job and my mom
and Kareem and-and you and
like, not not you,
you know, you you help.
This Drew shit just makes it too much.
I don't even know how
to maybe I try to transfer.
Nah, don't do that.
Then them kids wouldn't learn, uh
The subject you teach.
Don't quit.
We just avoid him.
If we see him, run into a precinct,
keep the distance.
Treat him like an alligator,
like a big alligator.
You think that'll work?
No, but maybe he'll get bored
and find someone else to bully.
Right. Okay.
Did the lady like your painting?
Yeah. Yeah. She loved it.
You have shares in this roti shop
to be giving away food for free, huh?
You still let us walk
and pick up money.
Ms. Sherri, it's not that serious.
And I know you're closing
shop early last night.
You see Mrs. Tapatsi, she tell me
she reached five minutes before close,
and the place lock up,
and her place
looking dark, dark, dark, so
I closed six minutes before the
You think I was born yesterday, fool?
What stupidness is this?
Help this customer, fool.
Shit is a trap, my nigga.
These niggas get comfortable
disrespecting you,
and then you get comfortable
getting disrespected.
Don't let them walk
all over you like that, son.
Put gravy on the fucking rice, man.
You stupid?
- I'll see you man.
- All right.
Kevin, where my phone charger?
Hey, Dan, thanks for
do you wanna sit?
I'm sorry I missed your party.
It was just last night was hectic.
- That's okay.
- And I just didn't
- have time to
- No, you didn't miss much.
It was a really small hang.
Then I ended up having three
drinks and dancing by myself.
So probably best you didn't see that.
- Yes.
- Anyway, that's not why
I sorry, I have to ask you.
I was working
in the lounge this morning,
and I heard some kids
joking in the halls,
and one said, "You better be careful,
or Mr. Joseph
would come to your house."
Weird. Who who said that?
I couldn't tell. I just overheard.
But you you didn't
you never threatened
to go over to a kid's house, right?
No. I've never threatened to.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Great.
- No.
I knew that. It sounded so unlike you.
I heard that and I was like,
Dan would never say,
"I'm gonna show up at your house."
No. No. Yeah, no.
Yeah, no. I would not say that. No.
I figured.
Ugh, I have real problems
with Mr. Catalano.
He threw a chair at a student.
He's gotta be sent to the rubber room.
It's a disciplinary measure.
The district sends you
to a room with other teachers
until they finish an investigation.
It's like a holding cell for teachers.
Oh, yeah. Okay. I think I saw that
in a documentary or something, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Oh, for your birthday,
I got I don't know if this is weird.
Aww. Look at that.
- Thank you, Dan.
- Yeah. No, not a problem.
- That's sweet.
- I almost got you a cactus
because you said you forget
to water your plants.
Oh, because they would
live longer, yeah.
They would live longer.
That's what I was thinking.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
That's sweet. They're so ugly through.
Yeah. No, I-I would not
have actually gotten one of those,
just a passing thought, but yeah.
- Mr. Joseph?
- Yeah.
I'm Carlos with the Administration
for Children's Services.
Can I speak to you for a minute?
- What is this?
- Oh, no.
I just need to speak with him first,
and then you and I can have
a private conversation.
- I can't. I'm looking wild.
- Yo, Zay Zay.
No, not these niggas again, bro.
Meet me in the bathroom, Zay.
Yo, fuck you niggas.
That's what we trying to get you to do.
Yo, chill, chill, son.
Like, she a good girl.
She not from the streets, like
Oh, she ain't from the streets?
No, she not from
she not from the streets.
Wow, 'cause she
from them toilet sheets.
Come on, shorty been getting
her back blown out
over feces, man.
What the fuck do you
be talking about my nigga?
Talk it now.
She just hit me, bro.
- I'm trying to figure it out.
- Shit burn.
Talk that shit now.
What's up? What's up?
What happened?
Was he just talking
about you, though, Zayn?
- You okay?
- Oh, I'm confused now.
'Cause he was talking earlier, right?
Oh, he was. He was.
Yo, slow down, slow down,
slow down, slow down.
- You really are my day one.
- You know already know, girl.
Girl sis, I always
got your back, okay?
- Always.
- You know that?
- I know that.
- Mr. Joseph,
the Administration
for Children's Services
has an open case
on one of your students
whose safety may be at risk.
You mind answering
a few questions for me?
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