Fosse/Verdon (2019) s01e07 Episode Script
Nowadays
1 ["ALL THAT JAZZ" PLAYING.]
[MUSIC STOPS.]
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
Son of a bitch! - It didn't mean anything.
- Liar! Oh, listen to me.
I I It's never gonna happen again.
Oh, shut up! Whoa, whoa, whoa! I listen, I was drinking too much.
- I was I was working.
- A chorus girl in my show? Hey, are you out of your mind? I it's over.
Oh, that's not what she told the rest of the cast! - Okay, okay, I - You - Hey, hey! - Are humiliating me! [CRASHING.]
You know I'm crazy about you? [WEEPING.]
I was thinking, let's get married.
Oh, stop it.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- I'm serious.
- Oh, stop.
Stop it.
Stop.
- I think we should get married.
- Bobby.
I want to have a baby.
- Bobby, sto you don't - Gwyneth Evelyn Verdon.
Will you marry me? Bobby, look at us.
Look at us.
You're about to witness a story of greed I can't live without you.
I need you.
Exploitation I want to have a baby with you.
Adultery I want to be with you forever.
And treachery.
And I want to have a family with you.
You don't know what you're talking about.
But I do.
All the things we hold near and dear to our hearts.
I want to build a family.
I want to make a baby with you.
I want to I want to marry you.
I love you.
Will you marry me? Let's let's make a family together.
- [CRYING.]
- Let's have a baby.
["ALL THAT JAZZ" PLAYING.]
No, I'm no one's wife but oh I love my life And all that Jazz Stop, stop, stop.
Yeah, um, st uh, do it again.
Take out the smiles.
How long have you been in this business? You know every production takes out an insurance policy on the director, right? - It's standard procedure.
- A million bucks? That's not an insurance policy.
That's a bet.
Do you know what you sound like? They could have gotten rich off of me.
I'll tell you what you sound like.
You sound like a paranoid schizophrenic.
Now I gotta walk back in the rehearsal room and pretend everybody there doesn't wish I was dead.
Come on babe why don't we paint the town And all that jazz and all that jazz Everybody put their life on hold for four months to accommodate your sorry ass.
I heard Gwen gave loans to half that cast for you.
She knew no other director would sign up to do a musical with Gwen Verdon as an ingénue.
Where the gin is cold but the piano's hot Just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl Stop.
Stop, Danny.
Um [CLAPPING.]
Eat your sandwich.
Why don't you eat? I don't have an appetite.
I wish I could give you some of mine.
Those doctors, they fucked me up.
They took away all my all my prescriptions.
Yeah? I say God bless them.
They didn't give me enough time to adjust.
I'm I'm trying to stay calm.
I'm kind of I'm getting a little, uh My my doctor told me I'm not supposed to get upset.
I'm getting a little upset 'cause if I have to hear you sing this like it's a goddamn musical comedy again, I'm gonna jump out a window.
I'm fucked up, do you understand? I'm having a hard time.
I can't eat.
I can't think.
I can't focus.
How am I supposed to direct a musical like that? This is a a show about killers.
It's about people who use people to get what they want.
And then they leave them for dead and they pretend to the whole world like they're Christian martyrs like they're saints.
But guess what, folks? That's all smoke and mirrors.
You're murderers and you're liars.
That's who you are.
Dance like that.
Let's take it again from the amoeba, Danny.
Take out the swing.
A-five, six, seven, eight.
Oh you're gonna see your sheba shimmy shake - And all that jazz - That's good.
Oh she's gonna shimmy till her garters break - Ooh and all that jazz - Very nice.
Show her where to park her girdle Oh, her mother's blood'd curdle Darker, darker.
Yeah, yeah.
Make it darker.
All that jazz Come on babe why don't we paint the town - And all that jazz - You like that, Gwen? I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down A-five, six, seven, eight.
["OVERTURE" FROM "CHICAGO" PLAYING.]
[INSTRUMENTAL RENDITION OF "ALL I CARE ABOUT" PLAYING.]
[GROANS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[VOCALIZING.]
[VOCALIZING.]
[VOCALIZING.]
- Where'd you come from - Mississippi - And your parents - very wealthy - Where are they now - Six feet under But she was granted one more start The convent of The Sacred Heart - When'd you get here - 1920 - How old were you - Don't remember - Then what happened - I met Amos And he stole my heart away, convinced me to elope one day A convent girl, a runaway marriage! It's too terrible, you poor, poor dear.
Okay, hold.
Let's take it back from the beginning.
We'll just clean up everything.
We need to review that whole section.
Let's go all the way back, okay? I need a minute.
We're gonna have to slow the number down.
That's an up-tempo song, Bob.
Well, the actress can't keep up, so you're gonna have to slow it down.
Hey, I need you to do me a favor.
What's that? Can you get me some Dexedrine? - You know what Dexedrine is? - Yeah.
I just, uh I can show you where to go, - who to talk to.
- You know I can't do that.
Sure you can.
It's easy.
I won't do it.
What do you mean, you won't do it? Why are you being so sanctimonious? It doesn't suit you.
- Is that a no? - That's a no.
All right, I'll remember that.
And don't tell anybody we talked about this, all right? The drugs or the song? Wise guy.
Okay? Ready? - Then describe it - He came toward me - With a pistol - From my bureau - Did you fight him - Like a tiger He had strength and she had none And yet we both reached for the gun Oh yes oh yes oh yes we both oh yes we both oh yes we both - Reached for - Hold, please.
Let's cut this whole thing.
Let's cut it.
- Let's cut the whole thing.
- Why? 'Cause it's not working.
I can do this.
I-I don't want you to do it.
I want to.
Sandy, where help me work this out.
Understandable understandable BOTH: Yes it's perfectly understandable Comprehensible comprehensible Not a bit reprehensible Uh, uh, it's terrific.
It's gonna be perfect.
Keep going.
Can I bum this? Oh yes oh yes oh yes Oh, this is heavy.
You're gonna be here.
Jerry, can I borrow you for a second? Can you sit down? Uh, you're gonna be a hand puppet.
Yeah? And your mouth just your mouth moves.
All right? The gun the gun the gun Oh yes they both reached for the gun - That's great.
- For the gun Um, put your hand here.
- When do I sing? - The whole number.
Then you can move your mouth, um, like a ventriloquist dummy.
Great.
Oh yes they both oh yes they both reached for the gun The gun the gun the gun the gun the gun the gun The gun the gun Beautiful.
That's beautiful.
I need you to do me a favor.
I can't work without the Dexedrine.
Go to your doctor.
Tell him you're fatigued.
You want to lose some weight, you know.
Paddy, it's like it's coffee for me.
It's not a it's not a big deal.
I'm not gonna score drugs for you, Bob.
It's not scoring drugs.
It's my cardiologist doesn't Shut up.
Now you listen to me.
You want to kill yourself, there's not a damn thing I can do about it, but I'm not gonna be the one who put the bullets in the chamber.
That's a little dramatic.
Well, I'm a dramatist, all right? - Is that so? - And you're a lunatic.
- Bravo.
- Yeah, what are you doing? - You're not supposed to smoke! - Hey, it's got It's got a filter.
What are you What's the matter with you? - Are you kidding me? - I swear to God Yeah, I swear it, if you die, I'm gonna show up at your funeral and I'm gonna deliver the worst fucking eulogy in the history of eulogies.
On my mother, it's not funny.
Not one witty remark.
I'm gonna keep them there for three, four hours.
Not one humorous anecdote.
If you die, if you go first, I'm not gonna say a word at your funeral.
I'm just gonna do a tap dance.
That sounds pretty nice.
We are so proud of all of the girls and Brandon who have worked so hard this term to prepare tonight's recital for you.
And the program tonight, as you'll see, is quite eclectic.
We need to talk about the ending.
Oh.
It's falling flat.
I can feel it every night.
Well, we're still fine.
It's you know, it's We're in previews.
That's what previews are for.
We open in a week and a half.
We'll we'll we'll keep working it, okay? [APPLAUSE.]
The audience isn't satisfied.
Roxie needs a big final number.
You mean you need a big final number.
To show that she's changed.
Yeah, but she hasn't changed.
That's the point.
Hey.
[BEETHOVEN'S "MOONLIGHT SONATA".]
Look, I've stood by you on every decision that you've made in this show, but I have to tell you what people - are saying about you.
- Who? - Freddy? - No, the whole company.
What are you talking about? They think you've ruined the show.
You've taken out all the joy.
All the fun.
- All the humor.
- That's horse shit.
That's a bunch of horse shit.
I saved it.
I fixed the show.
Made it mean something instead of all this razzmatazz - flash bullshit.
- I know.
I'm on your side here.
I'm on your side.
But I just think with a proper ending - She's great.
- Yeah, I know.
It's already too long as it is.
Well, then cut it from somewhere else.
- What, Chita's song? - Look, I Did I say that? Can we watch the show, please? Why don't you ask Chita what she thinks of the ending? What are you talk she's never said anything to me.
No, because they're all scared of you so they don't come up to you.
Instead they come to me and they complain.
Oh.
Oh, why don't you just admit the reason that you won't give me the number is because you don't think I can carry it? Oh, for Christ sakes, are you kidding me? You don't think I can do it.
If I thought that, I would say it.
[SHUSHES.]
[SIGHS.]
All right, fine, I'll tell Freddy and John to write a new number for the ending, but no sappy numbers.
Balance.
Oh, thank God.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hello.
- Hey.
I'm so sorry I missed you, sweetheart.
They called us for rehearsal at the last minute.
Oh, please.
Don't worry about it.
She was wonderful.
Of course.
I'm sick that I wasn't there.
Star of the show.
- You were.
- Come on in.
Here.
Is there any food? I'm starving.
Yes.
Chinese just got here, with extra sesame chicken.
Can I have a little kiss before I go? I love you and I'm so proud of you.
Next stop, New York City Ballet.
Please don't say things like that to her.
It isn't nice.
Why? I don't want her to get her hopes up.
- Sorry.
- Oh, no.
Um, where's Bob? He had to go, uh, finish some work at the studio, he said.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Are you sure I can't get you a glass of water or People don't like me, do they? What are you talking about? Everyone worships you.
They don't think I'm a nice guy.
You're the nicest choreographer in the business.
You don't call names.
You don't raise your voice.
That's not a very high bar, is it? How's the show going? Oh, uh, it's it's it's fine, yeah.
If you don't win the Tony for that this year, - it will be a crime.
- Oh.
Well, it's a tough category this season, but next year you'll have a lock on it, I'm sure.
Oh, I'm just trying to get to opening night.
And you just got something something great.
Yes, he's going to be in Neil's new play.
Oh, that's right.
That's congratulations.
That's just that's terrific.
Thanks, yeah.
I'm understudying.
Oh, don't pooh-pooh it like that.
- It's a tremendous opportunity.
- I'm not pooh-poohing it.
I'm just Just stating the facts.
A lot of people think I ruined the show.
You don't think I made it too dark too, uh - too mean or anything? - I think it's brilliant.
All the dancers do, I mean I mean, I've heard some people say that maybe the ending maybe it's not the right song there.
Mmm.
What do you think it should be? - Something for Roxie, maybe? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - That'd be great.
It sounds perfect.
Am I fired? Is that why you're here? What? No, no.
Are you kidding? You're one of the best dancers that we have.
- Really? - Yeah.
Okay, well, I don't imagine Bob will be too late.
No, no, I wouldn't think so.
- So, um - Yeah.
- Shall we? - Yeah.
- Have fun tonight.
- All right.
- Okay.
- Good to see you.
Good night.
[DOOR OPENING.]
[DOOR CLOSING.]
I, uh I came over 'cause I need you to do me a favor.
- Do you know what Dexies are? - The pills? Yeah, Dexedrine.
I need you to get me some.
Oh, I don't really think I know anyone that Oh, I can send you to the right doctor.
You don't think you should get it? Ah, he he doesn't want to give me any, which isn't very nice of him, is it? Well, if he doesn't want to give them to you I I need them to work.
And I really need them.
I'd owe you one.
Okay.
[SIGHS.]
Thanks, sweetheart.
It's getting late.
It is.
I'm not tired.
Are you tired? Do you wanna have a like, a nightcap or something? Maybe you could show me the rest of your place.
["NOWADAYS" PLAYING ON PIANO.]
Joy everywhere Nowadays You can like the life you're living You can live the life you like You can even marry Harry But mess around with Ike [LAUGHS.]
And that's good isn't it grand Isn't it great isn't it swell Isn't it fun Isn't it But nothing stays In 50 years or so It's gonna change you know But oh it's Heaven Nowadays Well, finally.
We've got a closing fucking number.
[LAUGHS.]
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Thank you.
Thank you.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh.
Let's hear it again.
Let's hear it again from the top.
Oh, well, do you like it or not? I want to hear it again.
- Danny? - I want this song, Bob.
From the top, please.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[PIANO PLAYING.]
It's good isn't it grand Isn't it great Volume, please.
I can't I can't hear you.
Fun isn't it [CLEARS THROAT.]
Keep going.
Nowadays [CLEARS THROAT.]
There's men everywhere, jazz everywhere Booze everywhere, life everywhere Joy everywhere Okay, got it.
Got it.
Yeah.
No, it's a good song.
Um, let's do it again.
This time, let's have Gwen and Chita switch out verses.
Gwen, you take the first one, Chita, you take the next.
And then do the last section together.
Bobby, Th this is Roxie's song.
I mean, it's Gwen's song.
Yeah, I think we should hear you do it together.
Danny? We wrote the song for Roxie, Bobby.
It it's her show and - No, actually, - she's earned the right to finish it.
John, it's not her show.
It's their show.
Uh, it's a good song.
Could be a good ending.
Just give her the song, Bobby.
I'd really like to listen to you do it together.
Velma and Roxie.
- Let's see if it works.
- This is ridiculous.
It'll work, Bob.
We're just saying it's not what we wrote.
And I'm saying it'd be better for the show - if the two of you - Better for the show? Oh.
Oh, really? [CHUCKLES.]
Better for the show, huh? Is that really what you think? Yeah.
I'll tell you what would have been better for the show.
Opening four months ago with a director who wasn't hell-bent on turning it into two hours of misery for the audience.
Hey, I didn't ask to do this show.
Oh, no, no, no.
Of course not.
No, no, this is all one big favor you're doing for us.
For all of us.
Just a big favor.
Danny, can we take it from the top? Just like my saving your life was a favor.
And not letting them replace you was a favor.
- Danny - And not losing a single cast member.
And then there's the biggest favor of all, which is your entire fucking career.
I could have said no when Hal wanted you for "Damn Yankees.
" And I could have said no when you wanted to direct "Redhead.
" I could have let you stay a failed bald dancer.
A wannabe Fred Astaire.
But I picked you up on my back.
And I carried you.
Through "Charity.
" Through "Cabaret.
" I've been carrying you the whole goddamn time, and you have never forgiven me for it.
But you know damn well if I get this song, it'll be my show and not yours, and you can't stand the thought of it, can you? You just can't stand the fact that I'm the star, not you.
Well, I can see you're taking this very personally, Gwen.
But the fact of the matter is it really might be better as a duet.
We can't know that until we, uh, give it a try.
I say we give it a listen, see how it feels.
Danny? One call from me and you're gone from the show.
You're gone.
Gone.
One call.
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING "NOWADAYS".]
[APPLAUSE.]
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Vickers Theatre Chicago's finest home of family entertainment is proud to announce a first.
The first time anywhere there's been an act of this nature.
Not only one little lady, but two.
You've read about them in the papers, and now here they are, Chicago's own killer dillers, those two scintillating sinners, Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly! [APPLAUSE.]
BOTH: You can like the life you're living You can live the life you like You can even marry Harry But mess around with Ike Whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa And that's good isn't it grand Isn't it great Isn't it swell Isn't it fun isn't it But nothing stays In 50 years or so - It's gonna change you know - [LAUGHS.]
BOTH: But oh it's Heaven Nowadays [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Come on, tell me the truth.
You wrote half of those monologues, didn't you? And Herbie wrote the other half, right? I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Oh, stinker.
- Bobby wrote the whole thing.
Come on, oh, right.
You just helped with the typing? Herbie and I, we just we fixed a couple of grammatical errors, that's all.
I had the ideas.
All they did was, uh, figure out the, uh, words.
Yes, they call that writing, Bob.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Well, they might as well give you two all of the Tonys now - and just get it over with.
- Stop it.
Tell your friend Michael Bennett that.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Sweetheart.
[JOSE FELICIANO'S "GOIN' TO CHICAGO BLUES".]
I finished giving him the whole spiel, right? "Hey, this is Gwen Verdon's personal charity.
"The school really needs philanthropist support like yours to help these kids.
" He looks at me, he says, "How much do you think I should give?" And meanwhile I told Ron that if we got a thousand from this tightwad, I'd be thrilled.
So I'm looking at him, I'm thinking about all the department stores he's got, and I hear myself say, "I think a million dollars would be a good start.
" He gave a thousand.
He thought he got such a deal! [ALL LAUGHING.]
Well played, guys.
Well played.
The "Times" is out.
It's good for you.
I got you wontons.
Why is he showing her the papers and and not me? Have you eaten anything? Have you seen them yet? Just, will you please eat something? I'm not I'm not hungry.
[STAMMERING.]
- How bad is it? - Oh, they like Gwen.
- I mean, he likes Chita.
- What about the show? What does the what do they say about the show? You know.
Bobby, forget about it.
You don't he's an idiot.
What does he fucking know? You know? It's gonna be a big hit no matter what.
Bob.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
You really shouldn't be drinking.
Thanks.
Thanks for the tip.
You are humiliating me! No, I want to build a family.
I want to make a baby with you.
I want to I want to marry you.
I love you.
Whatever Lola wants Oh, my goodness.
Lola gets That's very good.
[LAUGHS.]
Ah, that was the one that did it for me.
When I saw you in that show, talk about a triple threat.
Oh, thank you.
You're too kind.
And I'm a tough audience.
I see everything.
You're not my first client in entertainment.
Yeah.
Obviously I can't name names, but, uh - And Mr.
Foss? - Fosse.
Mr.
Fosse, thank you.
Are you also in show business? Bobby's a director and choreographer.
- We just did "Redhead" together.
- Oh, my God.
You were wonderful in that.
So great.
Oh, well, it was a wonderful production.
- Thank you.
- I'm a dancer, too.
And I'm an actor.
I was in a show called "Pal Joey" at the City Center.
I saw that, yes.
Yes.
You were very good.
Thanks.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Well, looking at your test results, I can certainly see why you've been having trouble conceiving.
Yes, I know I'm a few years older than your typical mother.
Actually, your numbers look pretty good, Miss Verdon.
The the problem seems to be Mr.
Fosse.
The sperm motility is not quite where we'd like to see it.
Um, what does, uh what does that mean? It means your sperm are not very strong swimmers.
No reason to give up hope, though.
The fact that you two have already been successful once is a good sign.
You your your son, uh, James.
Uh, Jimmy's from a previous marriage.
Oh, I'm sorry.
- I - No, not at all.
Still, there are a number of procedures we can try, ways to offset Mr.
Fosse's, uh, issue.
I would recommend we begin by getting an hysterosalpingogram, which is just a fancy word for an x-ray of your reproductive tract.
We open the cervix and inject a contrast dye into the uterine cavity which will then fill the fallopian tubes and the pelvis.
If everything looks good, we'll start you on regular injections of Menotropin, which we use to stimulate ovarian follicles.
I have to warn you that the procedure can be quite painful, Miss Verdon, but we've had remarkable success with it.
Wonderful.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr.
Bob Fosse [DRUMROLL.]
And Miss Gwen Verdon In the act of creation.
[DRUMROLL CONTINUES.]
Notice how the smiles never leave their faces.
[CYMBALS CRASHING.]
- Bobby.
- Huh? I got my period.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Hey.
It's okay.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the hoodwink.
I've gotta tell you, when I saw your name on the form, Miss Verdon, I was sure someone at the office was playing a prank on me.
But it really is you.
Oh, it really is me.
["RAZZLE DAZZLE" PLAYING.]
Well, I generally like to start these interviews with the prospective adoptive mother.
Miss Verdon, you obviously have a very successful career.
How would you make time to care for a baby? Well Give 'em the old razzle dazzle Razzle dazzle 'em I don't plan to work for the first Give them an act with lots of flash in it And the reaction will be passionate Most mothers aren't as fortunate as I am.
They have no choice but to Hocus pocus bead and feather 'em Since it's not only about How can they see with sequins in their eyes I'm sorry, I just get a little emotional when I think about that beautiful little baby.
Not at all.
All are rusting what if in fact You're just disgusting Razzle dazzle 'em and they'll never catch wise What a view.
My gosh.
It's a great location for me, working in the theater.
We're lucky enough to live just a short train ride from the heart of Broadway.
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle Razzle dazzle 'em Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous Row after row will grow vociferous Give 'em the old flim flam flummox Fool and fracture 'em How can they hear the truth above the roar - Good size room.
- Yeah, plenty of space.
Throw 'em a fake and a finagle They'll never know you're just a bagel Razzle dazzle 'em This is my favorite room in the whole house.
Razzle dazzle 'em Razzle dazzle 'em And they'll make you a star Yes, no, thank you for letting us know.
No, we understand.
Yes, we are, too.
I will.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
[PHONE RECEIVER CLICKS.]
Oh.
There's a baby due in June.
In Rochester.
Rochester? Well [TENDER MUSIC.]
A baby.
Our baby.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Let's go out and celebrate.
Why don't we stay in? - Yeah? - Yeah.
[DOOR OPENING.]
Hey, uh, got a minute? Oh, well, you know, people generally wait for a response after they knock on a door.
Oh, right, yeah.
Uh - God.
- [KNOCKING.]
Can I come in? Well, no, you cannot because you are already in, - which is my point.
- Well, uh, I-I'll go out.
I'll just, uh, try again.
We'll do a whole routine out of it.
Did you talk to Joe? How are last week's receipts? Uh, strong enough to keep us open.
- I caught the second act.
- [DOOR CLOSING.]
Kids need a brush up.
Numbers are getting sloppy.
I know.
I've been saying the same thing.
Hey, uh I couldn't tell, but are you having some - trouble on the high notes? - No, I have a cold.
- Oh.
- I just need a few days.
I've actually been reading the performance reports.
Phil says it's been, uh it's been a problem for the last week.
You been a little off? Oh, shit.
It's stupid.
When the confetti canon fired last Thursday, I swallowed some of it.
What does that mean? Who I-I went to the doctor and apparently there are blisters on my vocal cords.
He recommended surgery, which obviously is not going to happen.
Jesus, Gwen, well, if you don't get the surgery, what ha what happens? I don't well, if I get the surgery, I'm out of the show for six weeks at least.
That's the best case scenario.
Imagine what would happen to the ticket sales then.
No, we'll figure that out.
I'll figure that out.
You gotta worry about your voice, Gwen.
What I'm worried about is the show.
If we can stay open for a year, then we recoup.
And if we recoup, then we can put together a tour.
- And then Nicole - All right, listen to me.
Listen to me.
I know, I know.
The show's gonna stay open.
You're gonna take care of yourself.
You're gonna get the surgery.
You're gonna recover, you're gonna come back, and you're gonna sing this part for a long, long time.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
And, if you don't get the surgery, - you're fired.
- Hmm.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
- Bobby.
- Hey.
What? This, you said that you would put that together yesterday.
I'm I'm so close.
I'm working.
I'm trying to work something out here.
I just need can I do it later? Yeah, but in the meantime, somebody's liable to fall and trip and hit their whatchamacallit.
I can't I can't figure out the I don't feel ve Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, what's wrong? - Oh.
- What's wrong? - I don't I don't - What's wrong? - I-I got hot.
- Are you okay? Well, the good news is almost every test has come back negative.
Now, there is one test which has positive results.
You're pregnant.
- Oh, what? - What? - What? - [LAUGHING.]
- Are you sure? - Couldn't be clearer.
Congratulations.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- Hey.
- Hey, Bobby.
- What's the score? - The Mets are down by two.
Ah.
What else is new? - Is Gwen still here? - I haven't seen her leave.
[TV PLAYING.]
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
- Did you watch? Uh, if I don't have notes, I didn't watch.
There was one adjustment Sandy gave me last week I wanted to ask you about.
Oh, it's gonna have to to be another time, okay? Okay.
- Hey.
- Did you watch? No.
Rest your voice.
Don't talk.
Just listen.
I think I got it figured out.
Liza's got some time off, and she'd be honored to go on for you while you recover.
- Liza? - Rest your voice.
We all agreed, John, Freddy, Joe, Bobby.
No publicity around her being in the show.
No no press release, no advertising.
It's your show.
It'll be your show when you get back.
Okay? That sound okay? Just rest.
[TENDER MUSIC.]
- Okay? - Okay.
I put in honey and lemon.
Sip slowly.
And just clink the spoon twice when you want anything.
- [LAUGHING.]
- Perfect.
Nicole, you need to leave! Bonnie's gonna be waiting downstairs.
Bonnie can wait! Didn't you say she told you if you're late again she's not waiting? Well, then I'll get the bus by myself.
[SPOON CLINKING.]
I'm so sorry, Ron.
Thank you for reminding me.
- I'm heading down now.
- [PHONE RINGS.]
Feel better.
Hello? - [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Yeah, she's good.
She stopped taking the pain meds yesterday.
Yeah, she's still on vocal rest so she Okay, sure.
It's Bob.
He swears you just have to listen.
Here.
I got it.
Hey.
Um, look, I got some news.
The the "Times," they they they found out about Liza.
They wanted to come back, review the show again.
I tried to keep them out.
I fought tooth and nail, Gwen.
They were just gonna buy tickets anyway.
So Good news is they loved it.
Clive Barnes says it's actually seeing it again.
He, uh he changed his mind.
He thinks it's a great show.
He says a lot of nice things about you.
How terrific you are.
He just says Liza, she's, uh, you know she's different.
I talked to the box office and, after that review, there was a line down the block starting at 6:00 to buy tickets.
That's good news, Gwen.
For the show, you know? [STAMMERS.]
[HOARSELY.]
Good news for for you, - you mean.
- Gwen.
This is what you always wanted, isn't it? - A hot young star.
- Gwen, - you're gonna hurt yourself.
- Okay, that's not true.
Did you change the steps for her? Listen to me.
Did you change the choreography? Uh, I put back a few of the steps that we cut.
The ones you thought I couldn't do.
What what do you want me to say, Gwen? You never wanted me in this part, did you? Gwen, come on.
What You never thought I could carry the show, did you? Did you? Well? I thought you could do it 15 years ago when we first started talking about it.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Gwen [RECEIVER CLICKING.]
What? I'm thinking that maybe we should walk home through the park.
It's such a beautiful d but I do have so many people that I want to call.
I wonder if it's too soon.
- Uh, yeah.
- What? - What? - Uh, n nothing.
- Uh, I'm just - What? What is it? What's wr what's wrong? No, it's just, uh, am I Am I the father? Tell me the truth.
- Am I - You cannot be serious.
You heard I mean, Littman, you heard what he said and my sperm - He can't he says I can't - Yes, I know.
Well, then what But that's why it's a miracle.
Who else have you who else have you been with? You are out of your mind.
Bobby.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
You are the only man for me.
I love you.
Okay? - He did it on purpose.
- You really shouldn't talk.
No publicity.
No ads.
It's all a big secret to protect me.
It was just a trick to make the critics interested enough to come back again and review it without me.
You should quit.
I'm serious, Gwen.
Why go back if Bob doesn't appreciate you? You don't need this.
You don't need him.
With a review like this, the show will run for years.
The royalties will set Nicole up forever.
Nicole's fine.
She doesn't need your royalties.
This is my job.
Don't tell me how to do my job.
[SIGHS.]
- Well, hello, Carlos.
- Miss Verdon.
Welcome back.
Oh.
Wonderful to see you.
How are you? I'm well, I'm well.
Thank you.
Oh, I bet you had a busy few weeks at the stage door.
Mob scene every night.
It was awful.
You're here early.
Well, back to work.
Hey, listen, the cast is planning something to welcome you back.
Now, it's a surprise.
Don't tell them I said anything.
- Mum's the word.
- How you feeling? I'm good.
Much better.
Thank you for asking.
Much better.
Better than ever.
But oh it's Heaven Nowadays [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
So cute.
What a punim.
I know.
Look at that head of hair.
Nicole looks exactly like Bobby.
Those eyes.
Well, luckily Nancy looks just like you.
- Oh, thank the Lord.
- [LAUGHS.]
[BABY COOING.]
Did you finally decide on a middle name? Providence.
Oh, beautiful.
Hello.
Oh - [SHUSHES.]
- [BABY COOING.]
There's Daddy.
It's Daddy.
Hi, Daddy.
["ALL THAT JAZZ" PLAYING.]
Come on babe why don't we paint the town And all that jazz I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down And all that jazz Start the car I know a whoopee spot Where the gin is cold but the piano's hot It's just a noisy hall Where there's a nightly brawl And all that jazz That jazz [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[MUSIC STOPS.]
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
Son of a bitch! - It didn't mean anything.
- Liar! Oh, listen to me.
I I It's never gonna happen again.
Oh, shut up! Whoa, whoa, whoa! I listen, I was drinking too much.
- I was I was working.
- A chorus girl in my show? Hey, are you out of your mind? I it's over.
Oh, that's not what she told the rest of the cast! - Okay, okay, I - You - Hey, hey! - Are humiliating me! [CRASHING.]
You know I'm crazy about you? [WEEPING.]
I was thinking, let's get married.
Oh, stop it.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- I'm serious.
- Oh, stop.
Stop it.
Stop.
- I think we should get married.
- Bobby.
I want to have a baby.
- Bobby, sto you don't - Gwyneth Evelyn Verdon.
Will you marry me? Bobby, look at us.
Look at us.
You're about to witness a story of greed I can't live without you.
I need you.
Exploitation I want to have a baby with you.
Adultery I want to be with you forever.
And treachery.
And I want to have a family with you.
You don't know what you're talking about.
But I do.
All the things we hold near and dear to our hearts.
I want to build a family.
I want to make a baby with you.
I want to I want to marry you.
I love you.
Will you marry me? Let's let's make a family together.
- [CRYING.]
- Let's have a baby.
["ALL THAT JAZZ" PLAYING.]
No, I'm no one's wife but oh I love my life And all that Jazz Stop, stop, stop.
Yeah, um, st uh, do it again.
Take out the smiles.
How long have you been in this business? You know every production takes out an insurance policy on the director, right? - It's standard procedure.
- A million bucks? That's not an insurance policy.
That's a bet.
Do you know what you sound like? They could have gotten rich off of me.
I'll tell you what you sound like.
You sound like a paranoid schizophrenic.
Now I gotta walk back in the rehearsal room and pretend everybody there doesn't wish I was dead.
Come on babe why don't we paint the town And all that jazz and all that jazz Everybody put their life on hold for four months to accommodate your sorry ass.
I heard Gwen gave loans to half that cast for you.
She knew no other director would sign up to do a musical with Gwen Verdon as an ingénue.
Where the gin is cold but the piano's hot Just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl Stop.
Stop, Danny.
Um [CLAPPING.]
Eat your sandwich.
Why don't you eat? I don't have an appetite.
I wish I could give you some of mine.
Those doctors, they fucked me up.
They took away all my all my prescriptions.
Yeah? I say God bless them.
They didn't give me enough time to adjust.
I'm I'm trying to stay calm.
I'm kind of I'm getting a little, uh My my doctor told me I'm not supposed to get upset.
I'm getting a little upset 'cause if I have to hear you sing this like it's a goddamn musical comedy again, I'm gonna jump out a window.
I'm fucked up, do you understand? I'm having a hard time.
I can't eat.
I can't think.
I can't focus.
How am I supposed to direct a musical like that? This is a a show about killers.
It's about people who use people to get what they want.
And then they leave them for dead and they pretend to the whole world like they're Christian martyrs like they're saints.
But guess what, folks? That's all smoke and mirrors.
You're murderers and you're liars.
That's who you are.
Dance like that.
Let's take it again from the amoeba, Danny.
Take out the swing.
A-five, six, seven, eight.
Oh you're gonna see your sheba shimmy shake - And all that jazz - That's good.
Oh she's gonna shimmy till her garters break - Ooh and all that jazz - Very nice.
Show her where to park her girdle Oh, her mother's blood'd curdle Darker, darker.
Yeah, yeah.
Make it darker.
All that jazz Come on babe why don't we paint the town - And all that jazz - You like that, Gwen? I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down A-five, six, seven, eight.
["OVERTURE" FROM "CHICAGO" PLAYING.]
[INSTRUMENTAL RENDITION OF "ALL I CARE ABOUT" PLAYING.]
[GROANS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[VOCALIZING.]
[VOCALIZING.]
[VOCALIZING.]
- Where'd you come from - Mississippi - And your parents - very wealthy - Where are they now - Six feet under But she was granted one more start The convent of The Sacred Heart - When'd you get here - 1920 - How old were you - Don't remember - Then what happened - I met Amos And he stole my heart away, convinced me to elope one day A convent girl, a runaway marriage! It's too terrible, you poor, poor dear.
Okay, hold.
Let's take it back from the beginning.
We'll just clean up everything.
We need to review that whole section.
Let's go all the way back, okay? I need a minute.
We're gonna have to slow the number down.
That's an up-tempo song, Bob.
Well, the actress can't keep up, so you're gonna have to slow it down.
Hey, I need you to do me a favor.
What's that? Can you get me some Dexedrine? - You know what Dexedrine is? - Yeah.
I just, uh I can show you where to go, - who to talk to.
- You know I can't do that.
Sure you can.
It's easy.
I won't do it.
What do you mean, you won't do it? Why are you being so sanctimonious? It doesn't suit you.
- Is that a no? - That's a no.
All right, I'll remember that.
And don't tell anybody we talked about this, all right? The drugs or the song? Wise guy.
Okay? Ready? - Then describe it - He came toward me - With a pistol - From my bureau - Did you fight him - Like a tiger He had strength and she had none And yet we both reached for the gun Oh yes oh yes oh yes we both oh yes we both oh yes we both - Reached for - Hold, please.
Let's cut this whole thing.
Let's cut it.
- Let's cut the whole thing.
- Why? 'Cause it's not working.
I can do this.
I-I don't want you to do it.
I want to.
Sandy, where help me work this out.
Understandable understandable BOTH: Yes it's perfectly understandable Comprehensible comprehensible Not a bit reprehensible Uh, uh, it's terrific.
It's gonna be perfect.
Keep going.
Can I bum this? Oh yes oh yes oh yes Oh, this is heavy.
You're gonna be here.
Jerry, can I borrow you for a second? Can you sit down? Uh, you're gonna be a hand puppet.
Yeah? And your mouth just your mouth moves.
All right? The gun the gun the gun Oh yes they both reached for the gun - That's great.
- For the gun Um, put your hand here.
- When do I sing? - The whole number.
Then you can move your mouth, um, like a ventriloquist dummy.
Great.
Oh yes they both oh yes they both reached for the gun The gun the gun the gun the gun the gun the gun The gun the gun Beautiful.
That's beautiful.
I need you to do me a favor.
I can't work without the Dexedrine.
Go to your doctor.
Tell him you're fatigued.
You want to lose some weight, you know.
Paddy, it's like it's coffee for me.
It's not a it's not a big deal.
I'm not gonna score drugs for you, Bob.
It's not scoring drugs.
It's my cardiologist doesn't Shut up.
Now you listen to me.
You want to kill yourself, there's not a damn thing I can do about it, but I'm not gonna be the one who put the bullets in the chamber.
That's a little dramatic.
Well, I'm a dramatist, all right? - Is that so? - And you're a lunatic.
- Bravo.
- Yeah, what are you doing? - You're not supposed to smoke! - Hey, it's got It's got a filter.
What are you What's the matter with you? - Are you kidding me? - I swear to God Yeah, I swear it, if you die, I'm gonna show up at your funeral and I'm gonna deliver the worst fucking eulogy in the history of eulogies.
On my mother, it's not funny.
Not one witty remark.
I'm gonna keep them there for three, four hours.
Not one humorous anecdote.
If you die, if you go first, I'm not gonna say a word at your funeral.
I'm just gonna do a tap dance.
That sounds pretty nice.
We are so proud of all of the girls and Brandon who have worked so hard this term to prepare tonight's recital for you.
And the program tonight, as you'll see, is quite eclectic.
We need to talk about the ending.
Oh.
It's falling flat.
I can feel it every night.
Well, we're still fine.
It's you know, it's We're in previews.
That's what previews are for.
We open in a week and a half.
We'll we'll we'll keep working it, okay? [APPLAUSE.]
The audience isn't satisfied.
Roxie needs a big final number.
You mean you need a big final number.
To show that she's changed.
Yeah, but she hasn't changed.
That's the point.
Hey.
[BEETHOVEN'S "MOONLIGHT SONATA".]
Look, I've stood by you on every decision that you've made in this show, but I have to tell you what people - are saying about you.
- Who? - Freddy? - No, the whole company.
What are you talking about? They think you've ruined the show.
You've taken out all the joy.
All the fun.
- All the humor.
- That's horse shit.
That's a bunch of horse shit.
I saved it.
I fixed the show.
Made it mean something instead of all this razzmatazz - flash bullshit.
- I know.
I'm on your side here.
I'm on your side.
But I just think with a proper ending - She's great.
- Yeah, I know.
It's already too long as it is.
Well, then cut it from somewhere else.
- What, Chita's song? - Look, I Did I say that? Can we watch the show, please? Why don't you ask Chita what she thinks of the ending? What are you talk she's never said anything to me.
No, because they're all scared of you so they don't come up to you.
Instead they come to me and they complain.
Oh.
Oh, why don't you just admit the reason that you won't give me the number is because you don't think I can carry it? Oh, for Christ sakes, are you kidding me? You don't think I can do it.
If I thought that, I would say it.
[SHUSHES.]
[SIGHS.]
All right, fine, I'll tell Freddy and John to write a new number for the ending, but no sappy numbers.
Balance.
Oh, thank God.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hello.
- Hey.
I'm so sorry I missed you, sweetheart.
They called us for rehearsal at the last minute.
Oh, please.
Don't worry about it.
She was wonderful.
Of course.
I'm sick that I wasn't there.
Star of the show.
- You were.
- Come on in.
Here.
Is there any food? I'm starving.
Yes.
Chinese just got here, with extra sesame chicken.
Can I have a little kiss before I go? I love you and I'm so proud of you.
Next stop, New York City Ballet.
Please don't say things like that to her.
It isn't nice.
Why? I don't want her to get her hopes up.
- Sorry.
- Oh, no.
Um, where's Bob? He had to go, uh, finish some work at the studio, he said.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Are you sure I can't get you a glass of water or People don't like me, do they? What are you talking about? Everyone worships you.
They don't think I'm a nice guy.
You're the nicest choreographer in the business.
You don't call names.
You don't raise your voice.
That's not a very high bar, is it? How's the show going? Oh, uh, it's it's it's fine, yeah.
If you don't win the Tony for that this year, - it will be a crime.
- Oh.
Well, it's a tough category this season, but next year you'll have a lock on it, I'm sure.
Oh, I'm just trying to get to opening night.
And you just got something something great.
Yes, he's going to be in Neil's new play.
Oh, that's right.
That's congratulations.
That's just that's terrific.
Thanks, yeah.
I'm understudying.
Oh, don't pooh-pooh it like that.
- It's a tremendous opportunity.
- I'm not pooh-poohing it.
I'm just Just stating the facts.
A lot of people think I ruined the show.
You don't think I made it too dark too, uh - too mean or anything? - I think it's brilliant.
All the dancers do, I mean I mean, I've heard some people say that maybe the ending maybe it's not the right song there.
Mmm.
What do you think it should be? - Something for Roxie, maybe? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - That'd be great.
It sounds perfect.
Am I fired? Is that why you're here? What? No, no.
Are you kidding? You're one of the best dancers that we have.
- Really? - Yeah.
Okay, well, I don't imagine Bob will be too late.
No, no, I wouldn't think so.
- So, um - Yeah.
- Shall we? - Yeah.
- Have fun tonight.
- All right.
- Okay.
- Good to see you.
Good night.
[DOOR OPENING.]
[DOOR CLOSING.]
I, uh I came over 'cause I need you to do me a favor.
- Do you know what Dexies are? - The pills? Yeah, Dexedrine.
I need you to get me some.
Oh, I don't really think I know anyone that Oh, I can send you to the right doctor.
You don't think you should get it? Ah, he he doesn't want to give me any, which isn't very nice of him, is it? Well, if he doesn't want to give them to you I I need them to work.
And I really need them.
I'd owe you one.
Okay.
[SIGHS.]
Thanks, sweetheart.
It's getting late.
It is.
I'm not tired.
Are you tired? Do you wanna have a like, a nightcap or something? Maybe you could show me the rest of your place.
["NOWADAYS" PLAYING ON PIANO.]
Joy everywhere Nowadays You can like the life you're living You can live the life you like You can even marry Harry But mess around with Ike [LAUGHS.]
And that's good isn't it grand Isn't it great isn't it swell Isn't it fun Isn't it But nothing stays In 50 years or so It's gonna change you know But oh it's Heaven Nowadays Well, finally.
We've got a closing fucking number.
[LAUGHS.]
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Thank you.
Thank you.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh.
Let's hear it again.
Let's hear it again from the top.
Oh, well, do you like it or not? I want to hear it again.
- Danny? - I want this song, Bob.
From the top, please.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[PIANO PLAYING.]
It's good isn't it grand Isn't it great Volume, please.
I can't I can't hear you.
Fun isn't it [CLEARS THROAT.]
Keep going.
Nowadays [CLEARS THROAT.]
There's men everywhere, jazz everywhere Booze everywhere, life everywhere Joy everywhere Okay, got it.
Got it.
Yeah.
No, it's a good song.
Um, let's do it again.
This time, let's have Gwen and Chita switch out verses.
Gwen, you take the first one, Chita, you take the next.
And then do the last section together.
Bobby, Th this is Roxie's song.
I mean, it's Gwen's song.
Yeah, I think we should hear you do it together.
Danny? We wrote the song for Roxie, Bobby.
It it's her show and - No, actually, - she's earned the right to finish it.
John, it's not her show.
It's their show.
Uh, it's a good song.
Could be a good ending.
Just give her the song, Bobby.
I'd really like to listen to you do it together.
Velma and Roxie.
- Let's see if it works.
- This is ridiculous.
It'll work, Bob.
We're just saying it's not what we wrote.
And I'm saying it'd be better for the show - if the two of you - Better for the show? Oh.
Oh, really? [CHUCKLES.]
Better for the show, huh? Is that really what you think? Yeah.
I'll tell you what would have been better for the show.
Opening four months ago with a director who wasn't hell-bent on turning it into two hours of misery for the audience.
Hey, I didn't ask to do this show.
Oh, no, no, no.
Of course not.
No, no, this is all one big favor you're doing for us.
For all of us.
Just a big favor.
Danny, can we take it from the top? Just like my saving your life was a favor.
And not letting them replace you was a favor.
- Danny - And not losing a single cast member.
And then there's the biggest favor of all, which is your entire fucking career.
I could have said no when Hal wanted you for "Damn Yankees.
" And I could have said no when you wanted to direct "Redhead.
" I could have let you stay a failed bald dancer.
A wannabe Fred Astaire.
But I picked you up on my back.
And I carried you.
Through "Charity.
" Through "Cabaret.
" I've been carrying you the whole goddamn time, and you have never forgiven me for it.
But you know damn well if I get this song, it'll be my show and not yours, and you can't stand the thought of it, can you? You just can't stand the fact that I'm the star, not you.
Well, I can see you're taking this very personally, Gwen.
But the fact of the matter is it really might be better as a duet.
We can't know that until we, uh, give it a try.
I say we give it a listen, see how it feels.
Danny? One call from me and you're gone from the show.
You're gone.
Gone.
One call.
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING "NOWADAYS".]
[APPLAUSE.]
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Vickers Theatre Chicago's finest home of family entertainment is proud to announce a first.
The first time anywhere there's been an act of this nature.
Not only one little lady, but two.
You've read about them in the papers, and now here they are, Chicago's own killer dillers, those two scintillating sinners, Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly! [APPLAUSE.]
BOTH: You can like the life you're living You can live the life you like You can even marry Harry But mess around with Ike Whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa And that's good isn't it grand Isn't it great Isn't it swell Isn't it fun isn't it But nothing stays In 50 years or so - It's gonna change you know - [LAUGHS.]
BOTH: But oh it's Heaven Nowadays [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Come on, tell me the truth.
You wrote half of those monologues, didn't you? And Herbie wrote the other half, right? I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Oh, stinker.
- Bobby wrote the whole thing.
Come on, oh, right.
You just helped with the typing? Herbie and I, we just we fixed a couple of grammatical errors, that's all.
I had the ideas.
All they did was, uh, figure out the, uh, words.
Yes, they call that writing, Bob.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Well, they might as well give you two all of the Tonys now - and just get it over with.
- Stop it.
Tell your friend Michael Bennett that.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Sweetheart.
[JOSE FELICIANO'S "GOIN' TO CHICAGO BLUES".]
I finished giving him the whole spiel, right? "Hey, this is Gwen Verdon's personal charity.
"The school really needs philanthropist support like yours to help these kids.
" He looks at me, he says, "How much do you think I should give?" And meanwhile I told Ron that if we got a thousand from this tightwad, I'd be thrilled.
So I'm looking at him, I'm thinking about all the department stores he's got, and I hear myself say, "I think a million dollars would be a good start.
" He gave a thousand.
He thought he got such a deal! [ALL LAUGHING.]
Well played, guys.
Well played.
The "Times" is out.
It's good for you.
I got you wontons.
Why is he showing her the papers and and not me? Have you eaten anything? Have you seen them yet? Just, will you please eat something? I'm not I'm not hungry.
[STAMMERING.]
- How bad is it? - Oh, they like Gwen.
- I mean, he likes Chita.
- What about the show? What does the what do they say about the show? You know.
Bobby, forget about it.
You don't he's an idiot.
What does he fucking know? You know? It's gonna be a big hit no matter what.
Bob.
[TENSE MUSIC.]
You really shouldn't be drinking.
Thanks.
Thanks for the tip.
You are humiliating me! No, I want to build a family.
I want to make a baby with you.
I want to I want to marry you.
I love you.
Whatever Lola wants Oh, my goodness.
Lola gets That's very good.
[LAUGHS.]
Ah, that was the one that did it for me.
When I saw you in that show, talk about a triple threat.
Oh, thank you.
You're too kind.
And I'm a tough audience.
I see everything.
You're not my first client in entertainment.
Yeah.
Obviously I can't name names, but, uh - And Mr.
Foss? - Fosse.
Mr.
Fosse, thank you.
Are you also in show business? Bobby's a director and choreographer.
- We just did "Redhead" together.
- Oh, my God.
You were wonderful in that.
So great.
Oh, well, it was a wonderful production.
- Thank you.
- I'm a dancer, too.
And I'm an actor.
I was in a show called "Pal Joey" at the City Center.
I saw that, yes.
Yes.
You were very good.
Thanks.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Well, looking at your test results, I can certainly see why you've been having trouble conceiving.
Yes, I know I'm a few years older than your typical mother.
Actually, your numbers look pretty good, Miss Verdon.
The the problem seems to be Mr.
Fosse.
The sperm motility is not quite where we'd like to see it.
Um, what does, uh what does that mean? It means your sperm are not very strong swimmers.
No reason to give up hope, though.
The fact that you two have already been successful once is a good sign.
You your your son, uh, James.
Uh, Jimmy's from a previous marriage.
Oh, I'm sorry.
- I - No, not at all.
Still, there are a number of procedures we can try, ways to offset Mr.
Fosse's, uh, issue.
I would recommend we begin by getting an hysterosalpingogram, which is just a fancy word for an x-ray of your reproductive tract.
We open the cervix and inject a contrast dye into the uterine cavity which will then fill the fallopian tubes and the pelvis.
If everything looks good, we'll start you on regular injections of Menotropin, which we use to stimulate ovarian follicles.
I have to warn you that the procedure can be quite painful, Miss Verdon, but we've had remarkable success with it.
Wonderful.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr.
Bob Fosse [DRUMROLL.]
And Miss Gwen Verdon In the act of creation.
[DRUMROLL CONTINUES.]
Notice how the smiles never leave their faces.
[CYMBALS CRASHING.]
- Bobby.
- Huh? I got my period.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Hey.
It's okay.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the hoodwink.
I've gotta tell you, when I saw your name on the form, Miss Verdon, I was sure someone at the office was playing a prank on me.
But it really is you.
Oh, it really is me.
["RAZZLE DAZZLE" PLAYING.]
Well, I generally like to start these interviews with the prospective adoptive mother.
Miss Verdon, you obviously have a very successful career.
How would you make time to care for a baby? Well Give 'em the old razzle dazzle Razzle dazzle 'em I don't plan to work for the first Give them an act with lots of flash in it And the reaction will be passionate Most mothers aren't as fortunate as I am.
They have no choice but to Hocus pocus bead and feather 'em Since it's not only about How can they see with sequins in their eyes I'm sorry, I just get a little emotional when I think about that beautiful little baby.
Not at all.
All are rusting what if in fact You're just disgusting Razzle dazzle 'em and they'll never catch wise What a view.
My gosh.
It's a great location for me, working in the theater.
We're lucky enough to live just a short train ride from the heart of Broadway.
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle Razzle dazzle 'em Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous Row after row will grow vociferous Give 'em the old flim flam flummox Fool and fracture 'em How can they hear the truth above the roar - Good size room.
- Yeah, plenty of space.
Throw 'em a fake and a finagle They'll never know you're just a bagel Razzle dazzle 'em This is my favorite room in the whole house.
Razzle dazzle 'em Razzle dazzle 'em And they'll make you a star Yes, no, thank you for letting us know.
No, we understand.
Yes, we are, too.
I will.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Bye-bye.
[PHONE RECEIVER CLICKS.]
Oh.
There's a baby due in June.
In Rochester.
Rochester? Well [TENDER MUSIC.]
A baby.
Our baby.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Let's go out and celebrate.
Why don't we stay in? - Yeah? - Yeah.
[DOOR OPENING.]
Hey, uh, got a minute? Oh, well, you know, people generally wait for a response after they knock on a door.
Oh, right, yeah.
Uh - God.
- [KNOCKING.]
Can I come in? Well, no, you cannot because you are already in, - which is my point.
- Well, uh, I-I'll go out.
I'll just, uh, try again.
We'll do a whole routine out of it.
Did you talk to Joe? How are last week's receipts? Uh, strong enough to keep us open.
- I caught the second act.
- [DOOR CLOSING.]
Kids need a brush up.
Numbers are getting sloppy.
I know.
I've been saying the same thing.
Hey, uh I couldn't tell, but are you having some - trouble on the high notes? - No, I have a cold.
- Oh.
- I just need a few days.
I've actually been reading the performance reports.
Phil says it's been, uh it's been a problem for the last week.
You been a little off? Oh, shit.
It's stupid.
When the confetti canon fired last Thursday, I swallowed some of it.
What does that mean? Who I-I went to the doctor and apparently there are blisters on my vocal cords.
He recommended surgery, which obviously is not going to happen.
Jesus, Gwen, well, if you don't get the surgery, what ha what happens? I don't well, if I get the surgery, I'm out of the show for six weeks at least.
That's the best case scenario.
Imagine what would happen to the ticket sales then.
No, we'll figure that out.
I'll figure that out.
You gotta worry about your voice, Gwen.
What I'm worried about is the show.
If we can stay open for a year, then we recoup.
And if we recoup, then we can put together a tour.
- And then Nicole - All right, listen to me.
Listen to me.
I know, I know.
The show's gonna stay open.
You're gonna take care of yourself.
You're gonna get the surgery.
You're gonna recover, you're gonna come back, and you're gonna sing this part for a long, long time.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
And, if you don't get the surgery, - you're fired.
- Hmm.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
- Bobby.
- Hey.
What? This, you said that you would put that together yesterday.
I'm I'm so close.
I'm working.
I'm trying to work something out here.
I just need can I do it later? Yeah, but in the meantime, somebody's liable to fall and trip and hit their whatchamacallit.
I can't I can't figure out the I don't feel ve Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, what's wrong? - Oh.
- What's wrong? - I don't I don't - What's wrong? - I-I got hot.
- Are you okay? Well, the good news is almost every test has come back negative.
Now, there is one test which has positive results.
You're pregnant.
- Oh, what? - What? - What? - [LAUGHING.]
- Are you sure? - Couldn't be clearer.
Congratulations.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- Hey.
- Hey, Bobby.
- What's the score? - The Mets are down by two.
Ah.
What else is new? - Is Gwen still here? - I haven't seen her leave.
[TV PLAYING.]
- Hey.
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
- Did you watch? Uh, if I don't have notes, I didn't watch.
There was one adjustment Sandy gave me last week I wanted to ask you about.
Oh, it's gonna have to to be another time, okay? Okay.
- Hey.
- Did you watch? No.
Rest your voice.
Don't talk.
Just listen.
I think I got it figured out.
Liza's got some time off, and she'd be honored to go on for you while you recover.
- Liza? - Rest your voice.
We all agreed, John, Freddy, Joe, Bobby.
No publicity around her being in the show.
No no press release, no advertising.
It's your show.
It'll be your show when you get back.
Okay? That sound okay? Just rest.
[TENDER MUSIC.]
- Okay? - Okay.
I put in honey and lemon.
Sip slowly.
And just clink the spoon twice when you want anything.
- [LAUGHING.]
- Perfect.
Nicole, you need to leave! Bonnie's gonna be waiting downstairs.
Bonnie can wait! Didn't you say she told you if you're late again she's not waiting? Well, then I'll get the bus by myself.
[SPOON CLINKING.]
I'm so sorry, Ron.
Thank you for reminding me.
- I'm heading down now.
- [PHONE RINGS.]
Feel better.
Hello? - [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Yeah, she's good.
She stopped taking the pain meds yesterday.
Yeah, she's still on vocal rest so she Okay, sure.
It's Bob.
He swears you just have to listen.
Here.
I got it.
Hey.
Um, look, I got some news.
The the "Times," they they they found out about Liza.
They wanted to come back, review the show again.
I tried to keep them out.
I fought tooth and nail, Gwen.
They were just gonna buy tickets anyway.
So Good news is they loved it.
Clive Barnes says it's actually seeing it again.
He, uh he changed his mind.
He thinks it's a great show.
He says a lot of nice things about you.
How terrific you are.
He just says Liza, she's, uh, you know she's different.
I talked to the box office and, after that review, there was a line down the block starting at 6:00 to buy tickets.
That's good news, Gwen.
For the show, you know? [STAMMERS.]
[HOARSELY.]
Good news for for you, - you mean.
- Gwen.
This is what you always wanted, isn't it? - A hot young star.
- Gwen, - you're gonna hurt yourself.
- Okay, that's not true.
Did you change the steps for her? Listen to me.
Did you change the choreography? Uh, I put back a few of the steps that we cut.
The ones you thought I couldn't do.
What what do you want me to say, Gwen? You never wanted me in this part, did you? Gwen, come on.
What You never thought I could carry the show, did you? Did you? Well? I thought you could do it 15 years ago when we first started talking about it.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Gwen [RECEIVER CLICKING.]
What? I'm thinking that maybe we should walk home through the park.
It's such a beautiful d but I do have so many people that I want to call.
I wonder if it's too soon.
- Uh, yeah.
- What? - What? - Uh, n nothing.
- Uh, I'm just - What? What is it? What's wr what's wrong? No, it's just, uh, am I Am I the father? Tell me the truth.
- Am I - You cannot be serious.
You heard I mean, Littman, you heard what he said and my sperm - He can't he says I can't - Yes, I know.
Well, then what But that's why it's a miracle.
Who else have you who else have you been with? You are out of your mind.
Bobby.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
You are the only man for me.
I love you.
Okay? - He did it on purpose.
- You really shouldn't talk.
No publicity.
No ads.
It's all a big secret to protect me.
It was just a trick to make the critics interested enough to come back again and review it without me.
You should quit.
I'm serious, Gwen.
Why go back if Bob doesn't appreciate you? You don't need this.
You don't need him.
With a review like this, the show will run for years.
The royalties will set Nicole up forever.
Nicole's fine.
She doesn't need your royalties.
This is my job.
Don't tell me how to do my job.
[SIGHS.]
- Well, hello, Carlos.
- Miss Verdon.
Welcome back.
Oh.
Wonderful to see you.
How are you? I'm well, I'm well.
Thank you.
Oh, I bet you had a busy few weeks at the stage door.
Mob scene every night.
It was awful.
You're here early.
Well, back to work.
Hey, listen, the cast is planning something to welcome you back.
Now, it's a surprise.
Don't tell them I said anything.
- Mum's the word.
- How you feeling? I'm good.
Much better.
Thank you for asking.
Much better.
Better than ever.
But oh it's Heaven Nowadays [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
So cute.
What a punim.
I know.
Look at that head of hair.
Nicole looks exactly like Bobby.
Those eyes.
Well, luckily Nancy looks just like you.
- Oh, thank the Lord.
- [LAUGHS.]
[BABY COOING.]
Did you finally decide on a middle name? Providence.
Oh, beautiful.
Hello.
Oh - [SHUSHES.]
- [BABY COOING.]
There's Daddy.
It's Daddy.
Hi, Daddy.
["ALL THAT JAZZ" PLAYING.]
Come on babe why don't we paint the town And all that jazz I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down And all that jazz Start the car I know a whoopee spot Where the gin is cold but the piano's hot It's just a noisy hall Where there's a nightly brawl And all that jazz That jazz [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]