Full House s01e20 Episode Script

The Seven-Month Itch (2)

Sammy, do you realize that we've been going out a month? This is the first time we've been alone.
- With me living at my folks' house.
- And me living at Pee-wee's Playhouse.
I sure hope we didn't ruin your weekend.
Oh, no.
Why would you think that? Just because I've waited a month to be with Sam.
I used to be this freewheeling living-on-the-edge, no-strings kind of guy.
And now.
Now it seems like I'm-- I'm married or something.
I don't know what the hell's happened to my life, but I gotta regain control of it.
I don't think it's working out for me here.
I'll call soon.
Jesse ran away from home? Jesse ran away from home? - I'm hungry.
- Where's Uncle Jesse? Girls, if you'll excuse us for a brief moment, I have to talk to Joey privately about this note that I wrote myself reminding me to talk to Joey privately about this note that I wrote.
What are we gonna say to the girls? Joey, this is a delicate situation.
It's a father kind of moment.
You better let me handle it.
- And what do you want me to do? - Just play dumb.
How do I do that? Perfect.
Oh, hi.
You're back.
Did Uncle Jesse go somewhere? Girls, your father has something to say.
Your Uncle Jesse has gone on a little - vacation.
- Where? Where? You saw him last.
Tell them, Joey.
Okay, Father.
Girls, your Uncle Jesse went on vacation to the desert.
And why, you ask? Because he loves the hot sand and he loves the burning sun.
Bottom line: Your Uncle Jesse loves to sweat.
I thought he loved going to the beach.
Well, the desert is all beach.
Okay, here we go.
Your favorite strawberry yogurt banana pancakes just like your Uncle Jesse makes.
These aren't just like Uncle Jesse makes.
His aren't soupy in the middle.
Mine aren't soupy.
Here, Michelle.
You'll appreciate my cooking.
Thattagirl.
Go ahead.
Taste it, honey.
Everybody's a critic.
I got it.
Gladstone's International House of Flapjacks.
Gladstone speaking.
- Jesse! - Oh, Jesse! I wanna talk to him.
- Wait.
Let me talk.
- Hi, Jesse.
It's D.
J.
- Give me-- Let me talk to him.
- I'll talk to anyone you want - just make a decision.
- How the heck is the desert, Jess? What desert? I'm skiing in Tahoe.
I'm hanging out with my buddies, and I don't know when I'm coming back.
So in case there's an emergency I wanna give you the number.
It's 555-4322.
I gotta tell Uncle Jesse something.
- I gotta tell Uncle Jesse something.
- Okay, here.
Oh, no.
I forgot what I was gonna tell him.
Oh, I remember.
Silly me.
Hi, Uncle Jesse.
While you're on vacation, can I sleep in your room which was my room before it was your room? Thanks, Uncle Jesse.
Everybody say bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
Goodbye.
- Say bye-bye, Michelle.
What do you say? Let's drink a toast to the return of our man, Jesse.
Thank you, thank you.
And a toast to my escape from Romper Room.
No, no, no.
To you paying for the cabin.
Fellas, this is only the beginning.
When I get back to town I'm gonna get my own place and start living life the way I was born to be.
- Yeah.
- All right.
Fellas, let's hit the slopes.
Going skiing.
Yeah! All right.
I'll just put on my ski pants here.
Yeah, my little ski pants.
Looking good.
Okay, yes.
It's winter wonderland time, folks.
Winter wonderland.
I am psyched.
Just put on my scarf, because it's about eight degrees outside and, of course, the jacket.
Always remember, it is better to look good than to ski good.
Put on the gloves, the waterproof gloves.
And, of course, the cap, which is very important.
We get the goggles on.
Hey, man.
All right.
Fanny pack.
We mustn't forget the old fanny pack.
Gotta keep the fanny warm.
And the skis, and the poles, and.
God, I'm tired.
Would someone just break my leg now and stick me in front of the fire? Dad, I always get my guitar lesson from Uncle Jesse.
- Are you sure you wanna do this? - Honey, this is gonna be a lot of fun.
I'm gonna teach you a great song.
Come here.
Okay, now you watch what I do real carefully, and then you do it.
Dad! Dad, stop.
Here's where I am.
Maybe froggie's not quite ready to go a-courtin' yet.
Let's work on that D chord.
Come on.
Sit right down here.
Now take these two fingers and put them on the second fret.
No, the second fret.
No, the second fret.
No, the second fret.
- No, the second-- - Dad, you're making me nervous.
How can I make you nervous? I'm your father.
Because whenever you try to teach me things, we argue.
- No, we don't.
- Yes, we do.
- No, we don't.
- Yes, we do.
No, we don't! - What am I doing? - You're arguing with me.
I am not arguing with you.
You're arguing with me.
- Now, we're here to have fun.
- Well, I'm not having fun.
I'd have fun if Uncle Jesse was here.
That's what this is all about, isn't it? All of Uncle Jesse's clothes are gone.
Is Uncle Jesse thinking about moving out? The truth? Yes.
I hate this.
When Mom died, I never thought I'd like living in this house again.
Then Uncle Jesse and Joey moved in and things got better.
I don't want anything to change.
Honey, I want him to stay as much as you do.
- Then why don't you get him back? - Because he's an adult.
You can't just go pick him up and put him under your arm and bring him back home.
Right now he's struggling with some things.
When, and if the time is right, he'll be back.
Okay? Well, it's not okay.
But okay.
Come on.
Let's finish the guitar lesson.
- What else did Uncle Jesse do? - Well, he usually teaches me an Elvis song.
I know a great one.
Thanks for helping me move in, Michelle.
Why don't you just put that stuff right over there? Thank you.
You know, Michelle, I grew up in this room.
Boy, this place brings back memories.
Here, Steph, you forgot the rest of your zoo.
Thanks, D.
J.
Isn't it neat we each have our own room for a couple of days? It might be more than a couple of days.
- What are you talking about? - Oh, nothing.
What is going on? Steph, who do you think is a better singer? Alvin or Theodore? Are you serious? Everybody knows without Alvin they're just a bunch of squirrels dressed like Don Johnson.
- You're right.
See you.
- Freeze.
- What is going on? - All right, Steph, sit down.
You should hear this too, Michelle.
Uncle Jesse didn't just go on a vacation.
He's thinking about moving out.
- Can't Daddy get him back? - Dad said there's nothing he can do.
- Then we gotta do something.
- You're right, Steph.
What if Uncle Jesse never comes back? Daddy.
- Here's the plan.
I'll call Uncle Jesse.
- Check.
Then I'll tell him Michelle's really sick, and he'll come rushing back.
- Then what? - Then you throw your arms around him and beg him to stay while I let the air out of his tires.
I need to speak to Jesse Cochran? This is his niece, D.
J.
Tanner.
Jesse's still out skiing.
Could you hold the line for one brief moment? - He's not there.
What are we gonna do? - I don't know.
Let me think.
Okay, I got it.
This is Stephanie Tanner, Uncle Jesse's other niece.
Now listen very carefully.
Help! Tell Uncle Jesse the baby's sick and she's coughing real bad.
Here, listen.
- Cough.
- Cough.
See? The baby's coughing really loud.
Now, Uncle Jesse's the only one who can get her to take her cough medicine.
Promise me you'll tell him.
Thanks.
I lied.
I hate to lie.
But it was for a good cause.
I guess.
But if you could cough a few times, I'd feel a lot better about this whole dirty business.
Thank you.
Hi, guys.
Hey, Samantha.
God, this sport really is a pain in the butt.
Your family just called.
The baby's sick.
- Michelle's sick? What does she have? - Cough, I think.
Well, Joey and Danny are there, the pediatrician.
I'm sure she'll be fine.
Come on.
Let's do a little "Boys Are Back in Town.
" All right.
"Boys Are Back in Town.
" She'll be okay.
Here we go.
One, two, three, four: Hold down a second.
I gotta call home.
- Jesse, what's wrong? - The kid is sick.
I'm her uncle.
She looks exactly like me.
Damn, it's busy.
I'm sorry, guys, but I'm the only one who can give her her cough medicine.
And I'm the best at singing her to sleep.
I'm sorry, fellas.
I gotta split.
Michelle needs me.
Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
But you knew when we got involved there were other women in my life.
- Hey, yes! - Okay.
Okay, here's the shot.
I'm gonna jump over the couch, spin around three times, drive to the hoop double pump twice, finishing off with a reverse tomahawk monster jam.
Is this before or after you spin straw into gold? Oh, yeah? Watch this.
Yeah, I'd like to see Michael Jordan sink a shot like that with a couch on the court.
- How is she? - Jesse.
- Hey, buddy.
- Where's Michelle? - Do I need to give her her cough medicine? - What are you talking about? What do you mean, what am I talking about? Somebody called and said Michelle was very sick.
- Michelle's fine.
- She's fine? Thank God.
What do you mean, she's fine? I've been driving for four hours from Lake Tahoe on my motorcycle in the freezing cold behind a cattle truck? Well, I gotta tell you.
You made excellent time.
All right.
Which one of you called? Must've been the girls.
You shook them up the way you took off like you did.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.
But it was something I had to do.
- Jesse, hang on.
Talk to us.
- Yeah, maybe we can help you.
Look, guys.
Ever since I've been out of high school I've done what I wanted, whenever I wanted, with whomever I wanted.
I've had no one to answer to, nobody to worry about but myself, me.
So I took off to find that guy.
And you know what I found? I was having a great time, hanging with my buddies, playing music then I get this call.
"Michelle is sick.
" Just like that.
I come running back right into Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.
I'm sorry, guys.
I don't think it's where I wanna be.
Jesse, wait.
You're going about this all wrong.
Maybe when you moved in you lost something.
- But look how much you've gained.
- What, Joseph, have I gained? I'll give you a perfect example.
Why do you think you came rushing back here to check on a cough? Because I care about Michelle.
But I cared about Michelle before I moved into this house.
Yeah, but before you moved into this house, the girls were just your nieces.
You stopped by four times a year to give them birthday and Christmas presents.
It's not like that anymore, is it? Do you have any idea how important you are to those three girls? Jesse, you have been there every time those girls have needed you.
Can you honestly tell me that you can just forget about the past seven months? Just walk out of this house and go back to visits on birthdays and Christmas? They do love me, don't they? They really love me, don't they? Well, fellas, can you blame them? - Feels pretty good, doesn't it? - I'm gonna tell you guys something.
But you better not tell any of my friends I said this.
I think I'm realizing that being part of this family is filling an empty an empty space in my heart that I didn't even know was there.
Jesse, we can make this easier for you.
You can take time for yourself whenever you need it.
Yeah, don't wait till it all builds up inside and you gotta run away from home again.
If you need to take off for a few days, fine.
We'll cover for you.
- Yeah, we'll make this work.
- Will you stay out of my room? I'll try.
So Lassie's coming home? Yeah, yeah.
Lassie's coming home.
- I gotta hug somebody.
- Me too.
Go nuts.
Hey, watch it.
- Sorry, kid.
- Uncle Jesse.
You're back, you're back, you're back.
D.
J.
, get in here quick.
Uncle Jesse's back.
Our plan worked.
- Uncle Jesse, you're back.
- Hey.
Yeah, I was in the neighborhood, you know.
Are you here to stay or pick up your stuff and leave again? Come here, girls.
Sit down.
Come here, D.
J.
I came back because I was worried about Michelle.
And because I missed you two guys.
No, I'm not going anywhere.
So does this mean you'll never leave again? I can't promise you I'm gonna live here forever but what I can promise is I'm always gonna be your uncle.
And I'm always gonna be there when you two need me.
And I'm always gonna love you two knuckleheads very, very much.
- Cross your heart and hope to die? - Pinkie swear.
He does mean business.
You're up.
Here.
I drove four hours in the freezing cold on my motorcycle behind a cattle truck to give you this.
Here you go.
Not impressed, are you? Michelle, can I talk to you a second? You know, when I first came here I thought I was just gonna move in for a few months just to help out and then get on with my life.
But you know what? This is my life.
This is where I'm supposed to be right now.
Come here.
Do you realize, young lady, what you put me through tonight? I was with the most incredible woman in the world.
Over two years old that is.
Sorry.
Anyway, from the moment I heard you were sick all I could do was think of this face.
What is it about this face, huh? Good answer.
Good night, kid.
Can I get a kiss? You know something, you little munchkin? I love you.