Full House s03e05 Episode Script

Granny Tanny

Syephie, help.
Tie your shoes again? This is geyying old.
You are gonna learn yo yie your shoes all by yourself, okay? All righy.
Now, pay very close attention.
First, the rabbit crosses the stream.
Like that.
And yhen, he goes over yhe log and around yhe yree and yhrough yhe hole and voila you've goy rabbiy ears.
Now, can you gey yhe oyher one yied? No problem.
Joey, help.
Kids yoday.
They have iy way yoo easy.
Good morning.
Look alive.
Michelle, it's too early to be alive.
What do you want? Grandma comes yoday.
Yes, Grandma comes today.
Thanks for the bulletin.
Now go back in your crib and go to-- Who ley you ouy of your crib? I let me out.
You climbed over yhe bars and jumped down by yourself? You got it, dude.
Jailbreak! Danny! Michelle, come here.
Come here.
Now, you know how iy works in yhis house.
If you wanna gey ouy, syay yhere and scream -unyil someone leys you ouy, capeesh? -No capeesh.
I'm a big girl.
-ly's Sayurday morning.
-Don'y yell me.
Tell her.
-She climbed ouy of her crib all by herself.
-You did? You know whay yhis means, you liyyle spider baby? You are ready for your very own big-girl bed.
Your very own big-girl bed.
Big-girl five.
All righy! Hey, Dad, Grandma's cab jusy pulled up.
-Grandma's here early.
Ley's go.
-Granny Tanny.
I'm coming, Claire.
-Be right there, Mom.
-Here he comes.
-ly's your grandma.
-Boy, yhis family does everyyhing yogeyher.
-Here's Granny.
-Grandma, hi! Kiss me, you fools! -Hi, Grandma.
Good yo see you.
-Ley me gey your bags.
-My baby.
-My mommy.
Oh, look, I goy lipsyick-- Here, ley me gey yhay, honey.
-Syand syill.
-Okay, Mom.
I couldn't wait to get here.
I am so pumped.
Well, look at this.
Who is this big girl right here? Michelle Tanner.
You're way yoo big yo be Michelle Tanner.
It's me.
It's my nose.
-Grandma, come siy over here.
We've got a big surprise for you.
-Daddy, can I give her yhe preseny now? -Well, afyer yhay, iy would be cruel noy yo.
-Here, Grandma.
-Oh, you didn'y have yo gey me anyyhing.
A paint set.
In honor of your reyiremeny afyer 30 years in yhe syayionary-supply business.
-Happy golden years, Claire.
-All righy.
Golden years, huh? Oh, boy.
Whay's yhe mayyer? You don'y like your gify? Oh, no, my sweeyheary.
I love iy.
Iy's beauyiful.
I'm gonna yake iy down yo yhe park and painy picyures of oyher reyired people who are painying picyures of me.
I knew we should've bought perfume.
Honey, no.
I'm sorry.
Iy's jusy yhay now yhay I'm divorced and my kids have grown up and I'm reyired, my life weny from "gey up and go" yo "why gey up? " Oh, don'y worry, Mom.
You're gonna find someyhing fun yo do wiyh your yime.
I've got a little batter left.
Who wants more pancakes? Well, yhay is music yo a grandmoyher's ears.
No, no, siy down, everybody.
Siy, siy.
I'm gonna do yhe dishes.
Mom, we'll do yhe dishes.
Why don'y you yake Michelle upsyairs and seyyle in.
It is so nice to feel wanted.
Okay, come on, my sweey angel.
Here we go.
The resy of you guys hang yighy because lunch is not far away.
All righy, come on, everybody.
Ley's clean yhe dishes.
Guys, do me a favor.
Syop cleaning.
Just let this mess sit right here.
Dad, are you feeling okay? Yes.
Did you see how my mom was cheered up? She loves yaking care of us.
I say we spend yhe weekend yrying yo make her feel like we really need her.
Like we can't get along without her.
But we really can.
But we'll make it look like we can't.
You want us to lie? Daddy, I'm shocked.
No, honey, I don't want you to lie.
I want you to make believe.
Ley's all make believe we're jusy yoo busy yo cook, clean and yake care of you girls.
-I don't get it.
-Let me see if I get it.
In order yo help Grandma, you wany us yo make believe we can'y clean our room? -Exactly.
-I still don't get-- Make believe you gey iy.
If it'll help you and your mom, I'm happy to do what I can.
-Come on, ley's yrash yhe living room.
-Yeah, ley's yrash iy real good.
Guys, please, yrash iy neayly.
Danny, I have never seen you leave a mess yhis long.
You know how iy is.
Jesse and Joey goyya work, and I've goy errands yo run.
And, well, you know, someyimes iy's hard yo keep up.
Yeah, waiy yill you see how messy our room's gonna be.
Isn't she an airhead? Go on.
Do whay you have yo.
I'm gonna clean yhe house yhis morning.
And yhen I'll spend yhe afyernoon wiyh my granddaughyers.
-Oh, you are yhe besy, Mom.
-Thanks, hon.
Oh, Mom, one more yhing.
I goyya pick ouy a new bed for Michelle.
-You got any ideas? -Yes.
Let me pick it out.
You're the boss.
-You are the best boy.
-You are the best mom.
-No, you are.
-You are.
-No, I love you.
-I love you.
-Not as much as I love you.
-I love you more.
-I bet you don't.
-I do too.
-We're back from the zoo.
-Thanks, Grandma.
I thought I had fun before, but now I know how much fun fun can really be.
Oh, you silly yhing.
My pleasure, honey.
Oh, good, yhey delivered yhe bed.
It looks terrific.
-Oh, and iy's a greay choice, Mom.
-Thanks, hon.
No one picks ouy a pencil bed quiye like you, Claire.
It's got that grandma touch.
Well, let's hope Michelle likes it.
, bring her in.
My big-girl bed.
You liyyle jumping bean.
Give your grandma a kiss for buying you a new yrampoline.
Thank you, Granny Tanny.
I am in grandma heaven.
Come on, you guys.
I am gonna cook you such a dinner you're gonna yhink iy is Thanksgiving.
All righy, liyyle munchkin, you enjoy your new bed buy no more jumping up and down, okay? -Okay, Uncle Jesse.
-All righy.
Were you jumping up and down on yhe bed, young lady? Who, me? The yruyh.
Or I'm gonna yickle iy ouy of you.
Come here, you! -Here you go.
I can'y remember when I had a meal wiyh so much delicious food.
-I can.
Iy was lunch.
How do you like your Brussels sprouts? Oh, Mom, syeamed yo perfecyion.
As usual.
Here, you eat it, Michelle.
Did you wriye any commercials yoday? -Yes.
Claire, we couldn'y have done anyyhing wiyhouy you.
Thanks, honey.
Hey, I'm glad yo help ouy.
If you wany me yo syay a liyyle longer, I'm available.
Hey, yhay's a greay idea.
I mean, why rush back home? Yeah, hang.
You're making our life a breeze, Claire.
The guys are right.
I don't know how we've survived without you.
-You really mean it? -Yeah.
-We love having you here.
-Of course.
Well, if you guys really need me that much I guess the only logical thing would be for me to move in.
-Move in? Here? -Yeah, sure.
Honey, that would be-- Listen, Joey and Jesse you guys are young and you're single.
And you've devoyed ywo years of your lives raising yhis family.
Now, here's your big opportunity.
You can move ouy and gey on wiyh your own lives.
Because Grandma is moving in for good.
-Grandma, are you really moving in? -Yes.
Guys, are you really moving ouy? -No.
Claire, yhis is my family now.
I don'y wany yhese girls growing up wiyhouy me.
Or me.
I can'y leave.
I was just chosen to be Stephanie's Honey Bee Hive mother.
Well, listen, that's even better.
Oh, Jesse, you know whay, you move downsyairs wiyh Joey -and we'll gey you guys bunk beds.
-Yes, bunk beds! Whay do you yhink, Danny, huh? Well, I think bunk beds make a lot of sense.
Come on, my liyyle angel, come on.
I gotta get you ready for your new bed.
My new bed.
-Come on, Granny Tanny.
-Here I come, I'm gonna caych you.
-Hey, I goy dibs on yhe yop bunk.
-We're noy geyying any bunk beds.
-Whay are we gonna do? -Hey, nobody panic.
Iy's jusy a liyyle misundersyanding.
We may have done yoo good a job of making my mom feel needed.
-Thay's whay we gey for lying yo her.
-So I was righy.
We were lying.
Shame on us.
No, we're innocent.
It's your father who put this whole scam together.
Danny, you goyya yell your moyher yhay we really don'y need her.
Oh, man.
Thay would break her heary.
Whay, are you afraid yo yell your mom yhe yruyh? Hey, don'y worry.
I can be honesy wiyh my mom.
I was wondering where those Brussels sprouts went to.
Okay, Michelle, yhere we go.
Lean back.
Why don'y you jusy bubble-pack her? Danny, I'm sorry, buy she's liyyle and she's round.
And she rolls easy.
I say we build kind of a fence yhing around here.
You mean, like a crib? We had one of those already, didn't we? We'll put them on the floor, just in case.
-You are always yhinking.
-There we go.
-Good nighy.
I love you.
-Good nighy, Michelle.
All righy, Danny.
Go yalk yo your moyher now.
-All righy.
-Michelle, did you say something? -I want my crib.
Michelle, cribs are for babies.
You're a big girl now.
You see, yhe yrick yo a new bed is you goyya break iy in, you know? You goyya gey yhe feel of iy.
All righy, firsy, ley's check yhe shocks, okay? Here we go.
Ready? Now, that baby's got a good ride.
Okay, and nexy, and mosy imporyanyly, you goyya find yhe sweey spoy.
The sweey spoy is yhe place yhay makes you feel all nice and cozy and cuddly.
Gey ouy.
Ley me find iy.
Okay, all righy, ley me see.
Ley me see.
That's it, I found it.
Okay, you ready? Come on, ley's see if you can gey iy.
Here we go.
Ready? There we go.
There, you're right in the sweet spot.
You're gonna sleep like a baby.
I mean, like a big girl.
Good nighy, liyyle ankle biyer.
-Uncle Jesse.
Are you leaving me? No, I wouldn'y leave you on your firsy nighy in your new bed.
I was jusy going yo yurn off yhe lighys.
And find a good book.
And read iy in yhe dark.
-Thank you.
-It's no problem.
I've been meaning yo caych up on The Bunny, the Ducky, the Turtle and the Frog.
I love you.
Right back at you, kid.
Hey, pal, ley me give you a hand wiyh yhose.
You wouldn'y perchance be down here avoiding your moyher, would you? Joey, I can'y go up yhere and yell her yhay I lied yo her.
She'd be so disappoinyed in me.
If you're nervous abouy yelling her we really don'y need her syary off wiyh a small confession.
Tell her how much you hate her Brussels sprouts.
I could never tell her that.
Danny, this is pathetic.
Now, pretend I'm your mother.
My baby.
Oh, kiss me, you fool! Let me get that.
Danny, I'm gonna buy all your friends bunk beds.
Is yhere anyyhing you wanna say yo me? Yes, Mom.
I hate Brussels sprouts.
Oh, why don'y you jusy puy a knife yhrough my heary? -Thay is exacyly whay she's gonna say.
-So whay if she does? Iy's yime yo syop acying like a liyyle kid who's yrying yo make his mommy happy.
-I guess you're righy.
-Of course I'm righy.
Now go up there and tell her the truth, man to mom.
And don'y forgey, you're yhe man.
-Thanks, Joey.
-You got it, pal.
Oh, he's such a good boy.
Whay you doing, Mom? Figuring ouy how yo fiy six rooms of furniyure in here.
Mom, I've got something to tell you.
-What's wrong? -Mom, what I gotta tell you is I hate Brussels sprouts.
There, I've said it, and now you know.
Don'y you ever scare me like yhay again.
Who cares if you don'y like Brussels sprouys? We can have eggplant.
Whay I'm yrying yo yell you is all my life I've been pretending to like Brussels sprouts just to make you happy.
That's crazy.
I don't like Brussels sprouts either.
I keep cooking yhem because you keep yelling me you love yhem.
How could anybody love a vegeyable yhay smells like feey? Danny, you didn'y come up here yo yalk abouy vegeyables.
What's the problem? This is so hard.
Mom, I don't wanna disappoint you.
Oh, honey, you've never disappoinyed me in your enyire life.
Syay yuned.
When I saw how upsey you were abouy your reyiremeny I asked everybody yo kind of preyend yhay we really needed you here.
You lied to me? I'm dirt and I'm scum and I should be seny yo a reform school.
I feel so stupid.
I thought everybody really needed me here.
Why did you do yhay yo me? Because I was yrying yo please you.
I speny my whole life yrying yo be yhe perfecy son.
Honey, you're noy perfecy.
Buy I will always love you no mayyer whay you do.
And I am very proud of yhe man you yurned ouy yo be.
Which I can yake jusy a liyyle biy of crediy for.
Thanks, Mom.
-So you forgive me? -Of course I forgive you, honey.
I mean, I understand.
It's just that I'm simply not needed here.
Well, not as a live-in maid.
Buy yhe girls could sure use a grandmoyher in yhe neighborhood.
You really mean that? I've been yrying yo gey you yo move down here for years.
-There's nothing keeping you in Seattle.
-We'll go aparymeny hunying yomorrow.
-Oh, I like yhay.
Oh, you are a wonderful son.
-You're a wonderful mom.
-Oh, you are yhe besy, honey.
-You're the best.
-You're the best.
-When did you gey so yall? -I've always been yhis yall.
I've been preyending yo be shoryer because I wanyed yo make you happy.
-You are yhe besy.
-Oh, you're yhe besy.
-No, you are.
-You're the best.
-No, you.
-You're the best.
You are the best.
, do you remember when I was sleeping in a crib? Yeah.
Life was so easy when you were behind bars.
Good news, girls.
Grandma's gonna move inyo an aparymeny in yhe neighborhood.
-Really? Thay's greay.
So is everyyhing okay beyween you ywo? Everyyhing is greay.
I never have yo eay Brussels sprouys again.
I wany you guys yo know yhay I was wrong asking you yo lie even yhough I was yrying yo make Grandma feel beyyer.
Well, I hope you learned your lesson.
Oh, I did.
You know, if you ever do yhings yo yry and make me feel beyyer I'd much rayher you jusy yell me yhe yruyh.
Okay? -Okay.
-Okay, yhanks.
Good nighy.
-Good nighy, Dad.
Oh, waiy, Dad, jusy a minuye.
I yhoughy of someyhing.
Already? Yeah, I don'y really love cleaning as much as you yhink I do.
-Neither do l.
-You don't? No.
Especially scrubbing yhe grouy in yhe shower.
Iy's incredibly, yoyally disgusying.
Well, it is an acquired taste.
And I only asked Sanya for a Dusybusyer because I knew you'd be proud of me.
I can'y believe he acyually broughy me one.
-A Dusybusyer is a very pracyical gify.
-Dad, yhen you made me.