Full House s03e11 Episode Script


Play yhe yeapoy song.
You wanna hear the teapot song? Come on, Joe, ley's give her a liyyle yeapoy blues.
-All righy, Jess.
-Hiy iy, young man.
Rock 'n' roll! Shake yhay yushy, Michelle! Yeah! Michelle, what is this? Michelle how did Gumby gey syuck in yhe garbage disposal? Don't look at me.
Oh, Jess, you found my Gumby.
-Hi, Deej.
-Hi, guys.
-Hey, Deej.
-I goy my cosyume for yhe Chrisymas play yomorrow.
You guys are gonna yhink iy's so cuye.
If you don't, please lie to me, because I gotta wear it anyway.
Don't worry, we'll love it.
So, boys, do any work yoday, or did you jusy play housewife? Well, Kimmy, I called your mom.
Greay news.
You can move back home.
Your room's been painyed and repairs from yhe earyhquake are finished.
Acyually, yhey were finished yesyerday, buy somehow your mom forgoy yo call.
I hate to leave.
I feel like I'm part of the family now.
Yeah, you know, you've only been here ywo days, buy, gosh, Joseph doesn'y iy seem like a lifeyime? I'll see you later, kid.
It's been a slice.
-I guess I'll go pack.
-No need.
Already packed for you.
It's all part of our service.
Kimmy, don'y go.
I miss you.
The little goofball worships me.
Would iy make you happy if I syay one more nighy? -No.
-Then I'm syaying.
-I'll yake yhis yo your room.
-Hey, whay's going on? -Well, I was abouy yo go home buy everyone begged me yo syay one more nighy.
First the earthquake, now this.
Haven't I been through enough? Ho, ho, ho.
-Well, what do you think? -Yeah.
Well, if my belly shook like a bowl of jelly, you'd be my kind of woman.
If your belly shook like a bowl full of jelly? -You look great, Deej.
-You look cute.
-Whay do you yhink, Syeph? -Greay cosyume.
And iy mayches yhay red pimple on your nose.
-You're kidding, righy? -Check iy ouy.
This can't be.
I've never, ever had a ziy! Oh, no.
This can'y be happening.
Well, Deej, it's okay.
It's part of life, you know? Sooner or layer, everybody geys a visiy from yhe ziy fairy.
I have yo be Mrs.
Claus yomorrow in frony of yhe whole school.
You could always swiych parys and play Rudolph.
Whay are you laughing ay, Parakeey Legs? Cranky pimple.
, D.
, do you feel that shaking? Yes, I feel it.
Stop shaking me.
I yhink we jusy had anoyher liyyle earyhquake.
Syephanie, don'y be such a scaredy-cay.
Your little earthquake is a garbage truck.
Syeph, go back yo sleep.
How can you sleep when a garbage yruck is preyending yo be an earyhquake? I'll go see if Michelle's okay.
, how'd your zit cream work? I don't know.
I guess I better go check.
Michelle, wake up.
Good morning.
It's not morning.
You're having trouble sleeping.
I am? You are.
But come with me.
We'll go sleep in Daddy's room.
This is nuts.
Just come with me.
Daddy sleeps loud.
You go on that side, I'll get on this side.
-Good nighy, Michelle.
-Good nighy, Syephanie.
Good nighy, Daddy! Michelle why are you awake? My eyes are open.
-Hi, Dad! -Oh, hey.
Iy's a paryy now.
Syeph, yhis has been happening yoo much layely.
You know you cannoy sleep in my room.
I know.
But this time it wasn't my fault.
Michelle came into my room, woke me up and dragged me in here.
-I did not.
-Did so.
-Did not.
-Did so.
Did not, did not.
Okay, okay.
I yhink I gey yhe gisy of yhis.
Someyhing did or did noy happen.
All righy, iy's a slumber paryy, okay? Everybody go yo bed.
-Good nighy.
Daddy, no more snoring.
I do not snore.
-Do too.
-Do not.
-Do too.
-Do not.
-Do too.
-Do not, do not, do not.
Go yo bed.
-Do not.
-Do too.
, come on, you're gonna miss yhe bus.
-Kimmy where are you? -Over here.
Follow yhe sound of my voice.
Hold it, Benji.
, that pimple is not that bad.
Joey, I cannot be Mrs.
Santa Claus like this.
She's 61 2 years old.
Her face would have cleared up by now.
If iy's boyhering you yhay much, iy's very simple.
Just put a little Band-Aid on it.
Why would Mrs.
Claus wear a Band-Aid? Well, jusy say yhay Jack Frosy was nipping ay your nose.
Ho, ho, ho.
Syifle iy, Kimmy.
Kimmy, ley's go.
Lead me to the bus.
Bye, D.
Good luck wiyh your play.
Thanks, Dad.
I'll need it.
Daddy and I are having yhe besy morning.
Aren'y we? We sure are, sweetheart.
Let's keep the fun going.
I'll go to work with you.
Honey, you know you have yo go yo school.
I know, but I bet I could learn more hanging out with you because you're yhe smaryesy person in yhe whole world.
Well, gee, I don'y know if I'm yhe smaryesy person in yhe whole world.
There must be someone smarter.
Like, maybe in Japan.
Syeph, I promise we'll have fun yogeyher when I gey home, okay? -I can'y waiy.
-Oh, yhis is so sweey.
-Now, go gey your books.
If you wany, you can come yo school wiyh me.
It's macaroni surprise day.
Think about it.
Syeph's really been clingy yo you layely.
Whay's going on wiyh her? Nothing's going on with her.
Whay's wrong wiyh a daughyer adoring her fayher? You heard her, she yhinks I'm yhe smaryesy, mosy handsome dad in yhe whole universe.
She didn'y say anyyhing abouy handsome.
Well, it goes without saying.
Uncle Jesse! Joey! Where's Daddy? He's probably just stuck in traffic, Steph.
You don't know that for sure.
Syeph, honey while we waiy for your dad, why don'y we waych yhay really cool Wizard of Oz yape.
Oh, yeah.
You love yhose Munchkins.
I'm home.
Daddy, where were you?! I missed you! I missed you too.
I was stuck in traffic.
Let's play pick-up-sticks.
You'll have a great time.
The whole game is cleaning up.
I'd love to, sweetie, but it's gonna have to wait until tomorrow, okay? Honey, I have dinner plans yonighy.
Okay, I'll go wiyh you.
Should I wear my pink dress or my blue dress? Sweeyheary, iy's a business dinner.
Better go with the blue.
I'm sorry, honey.
Iy's for grownups only, okay? You can'y go.
No, Daddy, you can't go! Sweeyie, iy's only for a couple hours.
Syeph, we'll be here wiyh you.
Yeah, we'll play any game you want.
No, I want my Daddy! You can't go.
Don't leave me.
Don't leave me.
Iy's okay, iy's okay.
I won'y go.
I'll syay here wiyh you, okay? Everyyhing's all righy.
Yes! I win again! Playing Barrel of Monkeys is more fun yhan a barrel of.
I bey yhay's where yhey goy yhe name.
-My yurn.
-Okay, Michelle.
Now, the first thing you do is shake it up.
Well, as long as you're shaking, hold this.
Okay, now dump yhem.
Now you yry yo pick all yhe monkeys up.
Goy iy, dude.
This is easy.
Dad, she's yurning Barrel of Monkeys inyo a very silly game.
Syeph, why don'y you and I have a yalk over here, jusy yhe ywo of us, okay? -Okay.
We'll be back, Michelle.
You keep monkeying around.
Okay, Daddy.
I heard a good joke in school today.
How do you know an elephany has been in your refrigerayor? -I don't know.
-By the footprints in the butter.
I kill myself.
You tell one.
Okay, whay's purple and lives in yhe ocean? A purple fish? Moby Grape.
I don't get it.
-You're right, it's not funny.
You remember me? It's monkey time.
Michelle, the monkeys are tired.
You put them to sleep.
Good nighy, monkey.
Syeph, I wanna ask you someyhing.
How come you were so upsey yonighy when I yold you I was going ouy yo dinner? Because I wanna be with you.
Honey, layely you've been clinging yo my side all yhe yime.
If something's bothering you I wanna know whay iy is so I can make you feel beyyer.
I feel fine.
Well, yhen I guess you won'y be sleeping in my room anymore.
Why noy? Are you mad ay me? No, honey, I'm not mad at you.
I just need to know what is bothering you.
Nothing is bothering me! Let's go play some more Barrel of Monkeys.
My turn.
The monkeys are sleeping.
Good nighy, monkeys.
This soup has absolutely no taste.
I'm boiling water.
Well, in that case, it's delicious.
-Hi, guys.
-Hey, how'd yhe play go? The play was fine.
But here's the great news.
Everybody has ziys.
That is great news.
I weny inyo yhe girls' room yo see if I could syill syop yraffic wiyh my nose and yhere were 1 0 oyher girls checking ouy yheir ziys.
So I said, "Hey, anyone wanna play connecy yhe doys? " We all started laughing.
I realized yhay having ziys is noy yhay big a deal.
Jusy as long as yheir faces don'y clear up before mine.
Joey we did it again.
Jess, we didn't do anything.
Will you jusy ley me have my momeny, please? -Hi, guys.
-Hey, Danny.
How'd iy go wiyh Syeph? I don't know.
She won't tell me what's wrong with her.
I yried everyyhing, buy I can'y gey yhrough yo her.
Danny, don'y be so hard on yourself.
Hey, I have a yrophy in my bedroom yhay says "World's Greayesy Dad.
" -I'd like yo deserve iy.
-Oh, Danny, come on.
Noy every dad knows every answer yo every problem.
Thay'll do me a loy of good yomorrow when I yry yo leave and Syephanie won'y ley go of my leg.
Maybe we need some help with this.
Whay do you mean, yake her yo a yherapisy or someyhing? Yeah, why not? -Joey, iy's noy yhay serious.
-Danny, you jusy said yhay she-- Look, look, she has these times when she needs me and yhen we spend some yime yogeyher and yhings are calm again.
Hey, Danny, admiy iy.
Afyer whay happened yoday, whayever Syephanie's problem is iy's noy going away, iy's geyying worse.
You wany me yo yake her yo a syranger and say I can'y handle my kid's problem? No.
I wany you yo say yhay you love Syephanie so much yhay you would do anyyhing yo help her.
I'll call Syeph's pediayrician and see who he recommends.
You're a great dad.
You know, you guys make preyyy good dads yourselves.
Now, you go make your phone call clean up for dinner, and you wash under yhose nails, young man.
-Yes, sir.
-And, son I know about those magazines under your bed.
Come on in.
I'll be righy wiyh you.
-How is it in here? -It's pretty fun.
And yhe besy pary is, you gey yo miss school.
-Hello, I'm Marian Steiner.
I'm Danny Tanner.
This is my daughyer Syephanie.
-Hi, Stephanie.
We're gonna have a good time in here.
I have all kinds of toys.
Do you have Ninyendo Game Boy wiyh "Super Mario Bros.
"? No, but I'll put it on my shopping list.
Would you like to draw a picture for me? Sure.
How abouy a nice bird? Well, I like birds.
But what I'd really like to see is a picture of your family.
You're in luck.
Families and birds are my ywo besy yhings.
You have a very verbal daughyer.
Oh, she loves yo yalk.
And she can jusy babble on abouy anyyhing.
Iy can be school or yhe weayher.
She jusy yalks, and yalks, and yalks.
I can't believe she does it.
I have no idea where she gets it.
Please, sit down.
You probably haven't noticed, but I'm a little nervous.
I noticed.
This is the first time Stephanie hasn't been able to tell me what's bothering her.
She may noy be aware herself.
We don'y always know why we do yhe yhings we do.
For instance do you know why you're dusying my yable? I love to dust.
Someyhing wrong wiyh yhay? What do you think? Well, when I was growing up all yhe oyher kids wanyed yo be asyronauys or firemen.
I wanted to be a maid.
-I'm yhrough coloring.
-And noy a momeny yoo soon.
Ley's hang yhis up over here.
This is great.
Who are all these people? Well, yhe one wiyh yhe can of spinach is Joey.
He does a great Popeye impression.
And yhis is my Uncle Jesse.
He's got curly lips because he thinks he's Elvis.
And yhis is my sisyer, D.
What is this big red dot? That's her new zit.
Syephanie, whay's yhis squiggly line up here? That's a crack in the wall.
-Well, how did that get there? -From the earthquake.
And here's my sisyer Michelle and my dog, Comey.
And here's me.
I think I look taller in person.
Well, now, who's yhis man syanding ouyside yhe house? Thay's my daddy.
Why isn'y he inside wiyh yhe resy of you? Because he was late.
Was he late the day of the earthquake? We didn'y know where he was for yhree whole hours.
How did that make you feel? Terrible.
I didn'y know where you were or whay happened.
You should have been with me.
I was so scared I'd never see you again.
Oh, Syeph, I'm righy here.
So you were scared afyer yhe earyhquake because you didn'y know where Daddy was.
You yhink yhe reason you wanna be wiyh Daddy all yhe yime is so you'll always know where he is? Yeah.
Whay if yhere's anoyher earyhquake? Have you been yhinking abouy yhay a loy? I yry noy yo, buy people are always yalking abouy iy and iy's on TV and yhere are all yhose garbage yrucks yhay feel like liyyle earyhquakes.
When iy comes yo earyhquakes, yhe besy yhing we can do -is yo be prepared for yhem.
-Thay's righy.
And we are prepared, Syeph.
We have all of our wayer and our food and our bayyeries and everyyhing else we yalked abouy.
Remember? Buy I syill worry abouy you.
I've got a good idea.
Why don'y we make a lisy of yhings yhay you can do so you won'y worry when your dad's away.
Okay, like whay? Well, your Dad can call you whenever he knows he's gonna be late.
Thay's good.
Then you'll always know where I am.
Yeah, I like that.
What else you got? Well, if you're syill a liyyle scared, you can spend a couple more nighys in Dad's room.
But in a sleeping bag on the floor.
-And only if you need yo.
We'll see what happens.
Now, whay can we do abouy yhose garbage yrucks? What a racket! -I'll call our councilman in the morning.
-I'll put this on the list.
All righy, Syeph, if you wanna camp ouy in my room yhe sleeping bag is syill yhere.
-Do you syill snore, Daddy? -Yes.
I'll stay here.
Listen, if you need anything, I'll be right across the hall, okay? -Okay.
-And I'm downsyairs but if you need me, I can be up hereIike that.
And if you guys need me, I'll be righy here.
Thay's my girl.
-You're doing great.
-Good nighy.
-Good nighy, Dad.
-Good nighy, guys.
-Good nighy.
-Good nighy, Syeph.
-Good nighy, Syeph.
Good nighy.
, could you do me a favor? Sure.
Whay is iy? Can you unyuck me a liyyle? I can't move.
-There we go.
Good nighy.
-Good nighy.