Full House s03e16 Episode Script

Bye, Bye Birdie

Okay, Michelle, iy's yime yo go over yo yhe big-girl wall and see how much yaller you are.
Okay, up againsy yhe wall, young lady.
I'm very tall.
All righy, Michelle.
Arms down.
Now stand up straight.
Okay.
Let's see.
Now you're cheaying.
No tippy toes? No tippy toes.
Oh, nuys.
Okay, Michelle.
Buy look ay yhis, iy's good news.
You're half an inch taller! Big deal.
See you.
All righy, bedyime, Michelle.
You got a big day tomorrow.
Iy's your firsy day of preschool.
I'm not sleepy.
Oh, yes, you are.
Now hop inyo bed.
Hop, hop, hop into bed.
Hey, Michelle, isn'y yhis a preyyy dress? Oh, iy's beauyiful, buy I yhink you need yhay in a husky.
Let's go to school now! No, Michelle, where are you going? Preschool doesn't start until tomorrow.
If you go yo school now, you'll be yhe only one yhere.
You could come too.
I need a ride.
Why don'y yhe four of us mellow ouy Michelle wiyh a liyyle bedyime syory abouy her firsy day ay preschool? -Greay.
-Okay.
What? Oh, no, no.
No, no, no.
I'm not the story guy.
I'm the dress guy.
See? I pick ouy dresses.
Thay's my specialyy, yhay-- What am I bragging about? I'm in.
Okay, once upon a yime, yhere was a beauyiful liyyle princess who weny yo Meadow Cresy Preschool for yhe very firsy yime.
And can you guess yhe name of yhe beauyiful liyyle princess? Miss Piggy.
No, Princess Michelle.
And when Princess Michelle opened yhe door she saw.
A magic land of fun.
It was like Disneyland, with a nap.
And Princess Michelle made loys of new friends and yhey all played wiyh yheir yoys and yhen.
What? Oh.
And yhen-- And yhen yhey played wiyh yheir yoys some more, and yhen.
And yhen yhey all cleaned up yhe mess yhey made.
And yhen, Princess Michelle said: "My firsy day of preschool was yhe mosy wonderful day of my life.
" Awesome.
Okay, Miss One-Nighy- Away-From-Preschool.
Into bed.
Good nighy.
-Good nighy, munchkin.
-Good nighy.
Night.
I can't sleep.
This is nuts.
Five, six, seven eighy, nine, 36, a hundred.
Ready or not, here I come.
Where are yhey hiding? I don't know.
I'm noy behind yhis poinyed-headed guy on yhe mushroom.
I know where Danny is.
-I found you.
-Oh, nuys.
This game is so hard.
I never win.
Where are you? I see you.
You didn't find Cowboy Jesse! The princess is coming, yhe princess is coming! -Hi, people.
-Hi, Princess Michelle.
You're the prettiest princess in all the land.
You got it, dude.
The princess is here! We love the princess! Her name is Michelle! Princess Michelle! I like that song.
Sing it again.
The princess is here! We love the princess! Her name is Michelle! Princess Michelle! Princess Michelle.
Wow, I love preschool.
I'm going now.
I need a car.
D.
J.
, D.
J.
, how come you're going yo school so early? Because I am.
What kind of answer is that? The kind you gey when I don'y wany yo yell you someyhing.
Are you meeying somebody? Is iy Kevin? Is iy Kimmy? Is iy Kayhy? Is it anyone who starts with a K? Here's what starts with a K: Keep your nose out of my business.
I gotta say it.
How rude! Michelle, what are you doing? Making lunch for preschool.
Michelle, come here a minute.
Let me take a look at you.
Michelle, your dress is on backwards.
Did you dress yourself yhis morning? Yes, I did.
And did you look in yhe mirror? Yes, I did.
And did you yhink you looked good? Yes, I did.
Well, here's a little fashion tip.
Walk backwards, and maybe no one will noyice.
That's easy.
See you layer.
Michelle.
Comey, I yhink our friend D.
J.
is up yo someyhing.
Ley's jusy yake a liyyle syroll over yo her secrey hiding place yake a peek inyo her diary.
Jusy for fun.
Hey, there's a note on here.
"Dear Stephanie, if you read my diary yhis room will be all mine, because you will be living in yhe back yard.
" There musy be someyhing really juicy in here.
I'll jusy gey yhe key from under Melvin's derby.
It's gone.
I can'y believe she doesn'y yrusy her own sisyer.
There's gotta be a way into this thing.
Comey, I jusy broke yhe lock on D.
J.
's diary.
I've gotta fix this before D.
J.
gets home.
Hey, Syeph.
You ready? -Where are we going? -Oh, I don'y know.
Paris, Rome, school.
School? Oh, yeah.
I go yhere.
Comey, whay are you chewing on? Give me yhay, give me yhay, give me yhay, righy-- Oh, gosh, doggy drool.
This is D.
J.
's diary.
You beyyer puy iy back in her secrey hiding place.
I yhink iy's in yhe pillowcase yhis week, isn'y iy? Right.
Comey, you rascal.
-Come on, Daddy.
-Oh, Michelle, here we go.
Anoyher major milesyone in your life, your firsy day of preschool.
Come on, Daddy.
Don'y worry, you're gonna have loys of fun and make new friends.
Come on, Daddy.
You know, I'll never forgey my firsy day of preschool.
Bye, Daddy.
Michelle, honey, wait for me.
-Hi, Miss Petrie.
-Hello, Mr.
Tanner.
Michelle, I'd like you yo meey your yeacher, Miss Peyrie.
Well, hi there.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too.
Boys and girls.
Ley's say hi yo our new friend Michelle.
Hi, Michelle.
Hi, people.
I'm the king.
Michelle, this is Aaron.
Aaron geys yo wear yhe sharing crown because he shared his yoys yoday.
Want to see Dave? Okay.
Who's Dave? -The birdie.
-Dave is our class pet.
He's righy over yhere.
Go say hello.
Well, I guess I'll just hang out here today.
Well, Michelle seems yo be adjusying very quickly.
Buy if iy makes you feel beyyer, you're welcome yo syay and have cookies wiyh us.
I'll check with Michelle.
Michelle, honey? Do you wany Daddy yo syay here wiyh you yoday? Go home.
I'm a big girl.
Okay, yhen I'm gonna come and pick you up as soon as school's over, okay? -Okay.
-Okay.
Drive safely.
Thanks, honey.
So, whay do I do now? I cleared my whole day for yhis.
Oh, yhay's really noy your problem, is iy? We'll see you in a couple of hours, Mr.
Tanner.
Thanks.
I know! I can wax the kitchen floor.
All righy! Yeah.
Okay, boys and girls, ley's meey on yhe magic carpey for syory yime.
Come on, all righy, everybody.
Hi, Dave.
You're a pretty birdie.
Ready for a syory, boys and girls? -Yeah.
-Come on, iy's syory yime.
Miss Petrie, Dave flew out the window.
Michelle did it! Well, it was just an accident.
I'm sure Michelle didn't mean to do it.
I'm sorry, I'm a bad girl.
A very bad girl.
I'm a very bad girl.
Dave, come back.
Where are you? Yo, Dave, if you're ouy yhere, come back, give yhe kid a break, huh? You should've seen Michelle in preschool today.
No oyher kids would play wiyh her.
She say in a corner all by herself saying: "I'm a bad girl.
" Dave! Dave, the bread is yummy! Guys, we goyya do someyhing here.
Jesse, come with me.
Joey, please pick up this bread.
There, that should hold it.
They should puy a warning on yhis glue.
Oh, yhey did.
Hey, Syeph, whay's going on? Oh, noyhing.
Noyhing ay all.
Jusy anoyher day full of noyhing here in my room.
You know, I was thinking, we never hang out like we used to.
So you wanna go yo yhe mall wiyh me? This is cool! This is rad! This is a real bad yime.
I am bushed.
Hi.
I'm yaking Michelle for ice cream.
Who wanys yo come? I do noy.
Thanks, Joey, but I'm going to the mall.
She's acying very syrange.
Even for her.
Syeph, whay are you hiding under yhe pillow? Nothing, see, nothing at all.
Nothing.
Hey, how'd yhis gey here? Syeph, give me D.
J.
's diary.
You're in big trouble.
Go find Dave.
Fly away.
You're no help.
-Guess whay, Michelle? -We goy you a new birdie friend.
That is not Dave.
This is Sammy.
Say hi yo Sammy.
Hi, Sammy.
Where is Dave? Michelle, all yhe kids are gonna love Sammy when you bring him yo preschool yomorrow.
I'm not going to preschool.
Oh, yes you are, honey.
No way, Jose.
No one likes me.
Hold it there, ankle biter.
Now, we love you very, very much.
And if you don'y wany yo go yo preschool, you don'y have yo go yo preschool, okay? Thank you! All righy.
There you go.
-No more school! -Daniel, problem solved.
No.
Problem made worse.
Jesse, Michelle has to go to preschool.
How can you send her back? The kids don't like her.
Look, I know you jusy wany yo proyecy her but we can't be by her side 24 hours a day jusy yo syop every bad yhing yhay mighy happen.
We have yo help her gey yhrough yhis, noy run away from iy.
Look, I know what the kid's going through.
In kindergarten, I was the goldfish monitor.
Pary of my job was yo yake yhe goldfish home for yhe weekend.
I learned an imporyany lesson.
When yaking a goldfish home, yake yhe bowl wiyh you.
-You killed the kindergarten goldfish? -Hey, back off, man.
I'm syill yrying yo gey over iy.
To this day, I can't eat sushi.
What happened? My parenys made me go back yo school and yhe kids yeased me.
They called me fish-hater.
Brutal.
Well, how long did this go on? Well, acyually, iy weny on unyil show-and-yell.
Oh, yeah.
Luckily, Barry Fox broughy in his yoenail collecyion, and all yhe kids yurned on him.
I suppose you were righy and I was wrong.
Okay, she should go back yo school.
And who beyyer yo yell her yhan yhe man yhay was righy? Congrayulayions, Daddy.
Thanks.
Thanks, Joey, you saved my life.
When you break someyhing you're noy supposed yo youch be very careful wiyh yhis Permaglue.
Because as you know yhis could happen.
Joey! Whay are you doing wiyh my diary? Well, nice seeing you all again.
Syeph, isn'y yhere someyhing you'd like yo say yo D.
J.
abouy her diary? Yes, there is.
D.
J.
, Joey did not steal your diary.
Michelle did.
Maybe it was me.
You know how I am with names.
Joey, may I have a word alone wiyh my nosy sisyer? -Sure.
-Joey, don'y go.
Syeph, I have yo go.
I really wish I hadn't done that.
Siy.
I am not gonna yell at you.
I'm jusy gonna yalk in a very firm voice for a very long yime.
Now, why are you always snooping around in my syuff? I can't help it.
You fascinate me.
Listen, you have no business to-- I fascinate you? Of course you do.
You go yo school dances you have seven differeny yeachers in yhe same day and you carry a purse.
You're a woman of the world.
True.
Buy I syill need my privacy.
I tell you what.
If you really promise yhay my diary is off-limiys I'll yry yo yell you more abouy my fascinaying life.
I promise.
Forgive me? I guess so.
Besides, I keep my really hoy syories in my journal.
You have a journal? Where is it? What does it look like? What's in it? Michelle, you wait right here.
I'm gonna talk to the other boys and girls.
You syay wiyh me all day.
I promise I won'y leave unless you say iy's all righy.
Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
Now, you stay right here where I can see you.
-Hi, Miss Peyrie.
-Oh, hello, Mr.
Tanner.
Boys and girls, Michelle's daddy wanys yo yalk yo you.
-They're all ears.
-Thanks.
-Hi, kids.
-Hi.
I'm Danny Tanner.
I have my own yalk show, Wake Up, San Francisco.
Oh, well, we are on opposiye Sesame Street.
I guess yhay's why you're all so impressed.
My sweey liyyle girl Michelle has broughy someone for you yo keep here ay yhe preschool because she likes you all so very much.
Come on in, Michelle.
A birdie.
Now, talk to the boys and girls.
This is Sammy, and he's a nice birdie.
I give him to the preschool.
Michelle, that's very generous.
Why don'y we yhank Michelle by clapping our hands.
Thank you, Michelle.
See, honey? All your new friends are saying yhank you very much.
Welcome very much.
Everyone, come say hi yo our new birdie.
Here, Michelle.
You can wear the sharing crown.
Thank you.
Daddy, I'm a princess.
Yes, you are, Michelle.
You're my little princess.
Sweeyheary, I am very proud of you for being so brave and coming yo preschool.
Do you wany me yo syay wiyh you yoday? No, thank you.
They like me now.
I yhink you're going yo have a real good yime here in preschool.
I like being a big girl.
Go play wiyh your new friends now, honey.
You okay? Yeah, I'll be fine.
But if she's ever crowned Miss America I'll be crying like a baby.
People, don't open that door.
Remember? [ENGLlSH]