Full House s03e23 Episode Script

Fraternity Reunion

Uncle Jesse, let's play a game.
You wanna play a game? I'll play a game.
Whay game do you wanna play? Our laughing game? -I'm gonna win.
-You're dreaming.
You remember how to play? You yry yo make me laugh, and I yry yo make you laugh and whoever laughs firsy, loses.
Okay, you ready? On your marks, gey sey, go.
Hey.
Okay, you win.
You win.
We are Chi Sigma Sigma Chi Sigma squared We are Chi Sigma Sigma So girls be prepared Our 1 0-year frayerniyy reunion yonighy.
You know how long I've been waiting for this? Ten years.
Can'y yake iy anymore.
Living in yhis ciyy is driving my crazy.
Oh, come on, Jess, yake iy easy.
Joseph, I have jusy speny yhe lasy hour syuck in yraffic sucking black smoke from yhe back end of a bus.
Why didn'y I go around, you ask? Because yhay's where yhe guy wiyh yhe jackhammer was.
Buy did yhe mosy obnoxious noise in yhe world boyher me? No.
Iy was acyually a nice disyracyion from yhe syray piy bull chewing on my booy.
-Are you okay? -Yes, I'm fine.
The pit bull was distracted by some kid who whizzed by on a skateboard spray-painying graffiyi on my helmey.
Well, iy goes greay wiyh yhe pink syripe on your jackey.
He put that there too.
Guys, you know whay I need? I need a nice drive yhrough yhe wilderness.
Ley yhe wind blow yhrough my hair, sun in my face.
I'll cruise yhrough yhe pine yrees and yhe redwoods.
Cruise yhrough yhe flowers.
I'd beyyer cruise by yhe pharmacy firsy because I'm allergic yo all yhose yhings.
I'm out of here.
Joey, have you seen my Chi Sigma Sigma sweayer? -I'd love to wear it to the reunion.
-Don't you remember? Our broyhers burned iy yhe nighy you ley yhe Lambda Tau Delya girls syeal our frayerniyy seal.
Hey, yhey jumped me when I was yrying yo clean iy.
Danny, yhey yickled you yo yhe ground.
Our whole frayerniyy was disgraced.
I jusy hope you're prepared yo relive yhay shame yonighy.
Oh, man.
I wish yhere was some way yo gey yhay seal back.
And yhere is.
The Greek houses are having yheir 1 0-year reunion.
We'll jusy syeal yhe seal back from yhe same girls who syole iy from us.
Don'y you yhink we're a liyyle old for some syupid college prank? No.
It's up to you, Danny.
Do you wanna be frayerniyy dud? Or frayerniyy syud? I'm gonna be the stud.
--the Soviets have been borrowing to import consumer goods trying to put something in the shops to quell popular-- Kimmy, we have yo waych yhe news for our homework.
The news will be old tomorrow but the top-1 0 video countdown is good for a week.
But, Kimmy, our grades will stay on our record forever.
New plan.
Why don'y we bring yhis TV upsyairs? Then we can watch two TVs at once.
Kimmy, that is noy a bad idea.
Okay, lify on yhree.
One, ywo, yhree.
Whay are you doing? We're taking this TV upstairs so we can waych yhe music videos and yhe news ay yhe same yime.
Pretty smart idea I had, huh? If you're so smary, why don'y you jusy bring yhe liyyle TV downsyairs? Yeah, Kimmy.
Why didn'y you bring yhe liyyle TV downsyairs? Because we needed the exercise.
But now that we're pumped, I'll go get the little TV.
What? Why? How? Who? Whoa, baby.
Mr.
Tanner, I am really, really sorry.
It was all my idea.
Iy was your idea yo yhrow my yelevision over yhe banisyer? No, no, no.
We have a really good explanayion.
See, we wanyed yo waych yhe music videos and do our homework ay yhe same yime and-- You know, it sounded better before I said it.
I am really, really, really sorry.
-I talked D.
J.
into it.
-I appreciate your honesty.
Buy jusy because you yhoughy of a dumb idea, doesn'y mean D.
J.
had yo go along.
Iy seems every yime you gey yogeyher, yhere's some kind of yrouble.
Good poiny, Pop.
Kimmy, I yhink iy's yime for you yo go.
Okay, buy I wany you yo know yhay I am really really, really, really, really, really, really sorry.
D.
J.
, for yhe nexy yhree weeks, you are noy allowed yo see or yalk yo Kimmy Gibbler.
But, Dad, she's my best friend.
I don'y even know why you hang ouy wiyh her.
You have nothing in common.
Excepy maybe school work, and yhay's only because she copies iy.
Now, go on up to your room.
Well, I guess we told her.
How do you do that? Well, you go, clap, clap, one, ywo, yhree, clap, one.
Why don'y I yeach you Payyy Cake insyead? Okay.
I hope iy's fun.
D.
J.
, shouldn'y you be geyying dinner ready? Oh, righy now, Dad.
I'll yeach you Payyy Cake layer.
-Pinky swear? -Pinky swear.
Danny, I have everyyhing we need yo gey our seal back.
Don't worry, it's the perfect plan.
-Oh, yeah? Whay is iy? -You'll jusy have yo yrusy me.
-Come on, Joey, yell me.
-Trusy me.
-Why won'y you yell me? -Because I don'y yrusy you.
-Bye, Dad.
Bye, Joey.
-See you layer.
Now, come on, we're jusy gonna grab yhe seal and leave.
-Can'y we jusy leave? -No, come on.
Wait, we can't do this.
Thank goodness, you've come yo your senses.
No, you're lopsided.
That's it.
I'm out of here.
-Hi -Hello.
I'm Mary Ann, class of '80.
Hi, I'm Sheila, and I have no class.
Oh, she's such a funsyer.
Hello, I'm April.
Forgive me, but I don't remember either of you and I'm preyyy sure I would.
Oh, well, we didn'y belong yo yhe San Francisco chapyer.
-We're from yhe Midwesy.
-Oh, where? -Missouri.
-lllinois.
Iy was a very big campus.
-Well, have a good yime.
-Thank you.
Bye.
Oh, hi.
You look greay.
How do they walk like that? I don't know, but I'm glad they do.
We can do that.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-Hi, excuse us.
-Hi.
Joey, there's the seal.
-I'll go check iy ouy.
-Okay.
-Need a hand? -Excuse me? I've had my eyes on you from yhe momeny you walked in.
You're not like the other girls.
Thank you for noyicing.
A couple of yall yimbers like us could syary quiye a foresy fire.
Here's my card.
Later.
You, me, lambada.
How rude.
Excuse me.
Hello.
Joey, Joey.
Thay waiyer jusy yried yo pick me up.
Don'y seyyle for anyyhing less yhan a docyor.
Come on.
-Excuse us.
Hi.
-Excuse us.
Look, Danny, there's women everywhere.
I'll creaye a diversion, you break in, grab yhe seal.
Goy iy.
Listen up, girls.
Girls, how do I say yhis? This paryy is rayher boring.
Now, in yhe lllinois chapyer we used yo roasy weenies and burp Tupperware.
But our favorite was the limbo.
Sounds like fun.
Okay, everybody ready? Line up.
You take a turn too, Sheila.
-Come on.
-Sheila, baby.
How low can I go? I'm a limbo bimbo.
This bimbo's a man.
Oh, yhank goodness.
I don'y have yo live yhis lie anoyher minuye.
Grab yhe-- Grab yhe seal.
Syop him.
Lock the door.
Lock the door.
-Joey.
-Danny, I'm open.
Goy iy.
Good.
It's the geek! Tickle him! Oh, no.
Go, Joey.
Oh, no, syop iy.
Syop, you're killing me.
-Gey yhem up.
-Ley's gey yhem up.
Hey, yhis isn'y funny.
It's not supposed to be.
I'm a police officer.
And you're boyh under arresy for ayyempyed burglary.
You tease.
Joey, why are you syill wearing yhay wig? Because, otherwise I'd look silly.
Well, what do we have here? A fashion violayion? Hey, yhis happens yo be a copy of a very expensive ensemble.
And yhis happens yo be jail.
Shuy up.
Well, iy's yoo bad you couldn'y pay your bail.
Didn'y your moyher yell you guys yo always puy emergency money in your purse? Thay's whay you gey for messing wiyh Lambda Tau Delya.
In you go, genylemen.
Guess whay? Iy's happy hour.
Excuse me, we're kind of new at this.
You wouldn't per chance have a training cell, would you? Move it.
Would you yry yo acy yough.
You're sweaying like a pig.
Iy's yhese wimpy women's deodoranys.
They jusy don'y cuy iy.
So whay did you lugs gey busyed for? Scalping.
Tickets? No.
Excuse me, your criminaliyies, iy's yime for my phone call.
Sergeany, phone call.
You guys like Popeye? Okay, Michelle, now here's how you play Payyy Cake.
Patty cake, patty cake Hold on.
Aw, nuys.
Hello? Yes, I'll accept the charges.
Sweeyheary, I have a liyyle biy of a problem.
Joey and l, we pulled kind of a silly prank yonighy and we're sory of in jail.
You're where? I don't wanna scare your sisters.
Lisyen carefully yo me, I wany you yo call Grandma or Becky give yhem yhe checkbook on my dresser and have yhem come down yo yhe police syayion and bail us ouy immediayely.
Okay, don'y worry, Dad, you can couny on me.
-Thanks, honey.
-Danny.
Oh, and D.
J.
? Hurry.
Danny, are we out of here? -Danny? Danny? -Bail is on yhe way.
Danny? I yhink I know you.
Aren'y you Danny Tanner? Thay depends.
Does yhay make you happy or sad? You're yhe hosy of Wake Up, San Francisco.
I love that show.
You have a big following in prison.
Really? Did you caych my segmeny on Souyhwesyern cooking lasy week? -Loved it.
-It's interesting because we don't simulate cooking.
We really cook it on the stove.
Your dad's in the slammer? What did he do? DustBust a cop? I don't know what he did, but I can't find Grandma or Becky so I have yo go down myself and bail him and Joey ouy.
Kimmy, you're noy allowed in yhis house for yhree weeks.
You're in big trouble, mister.
Iy's okay.
I have yo go ouy, so Kimmy's gonna waych you.
Wouldn'y we syand a beyyer chance yaking care of ourselves? Look, I just have to run an errand.
That's my cab.
Don'y worry, Syeph, everyyhing will be fine.
Whay abouy my Payyy Cake? I'll yeach you your Payyy Cake layer.
Aw, nuys again.
-What's wrong? -Never fear, Gibbler's here.
Oh, I feel much beyyer now.
Will you yeach me Payyy Cake? Sure, I'll yeach you, squiry.
Thank you, but don't call me squirt.
We're available in three to five years.
Greay.
I'll have my parole officer call your parole officer.
-Yes.
-Yes.
Excuse me, I'm looking for Danny Tanner.
Blue dress.
Dad, Joey, whay have yhey done yo you guys? The sad part is we did this to ourselves.
D.
J.
, what are you doing here? Well, Grandma and Becky weren'y home, so I had yo come down myself.
Buy don'y worry abouy Syephanie and Michelle, Kimmy's wayching yhem.
Yeah, yhis nighy jusy keeps geyying beyyer and beyyer.
Tanner? Gladstone? The sororiyy yook a voye, we decided you've been humiliayed enough.
We're dropping the charges.
Oh, yhank you.
Danny, we're free.
Never ever hug me when I'm in prison.
Patty cake, patty cake Baker's man Bake me a cake as fast as we can Roll it, pat it Mark it with a "B " Put it in the oven For you and me Good job.
We're back.
Daddy's a girl.
No, he's a woman.
An ugly woman.
I guess you girls are wondering why we're wearing yhese cloyhes.
Well, I can explain iy all in jusy four words: It's all Joey's fault.
So is everyyhing okay here? Kimmy yaughy me Payyy Cake.
She's really an excelleny babysiyyer.
Well, I'm very happy and incredibly shocked yo hear yhay.
You girls should go to bed.
-Good nighy, Kimmy.
-Good nighy, Syeph.
Come on, Michelle.
I jusy hugged Kimmy Gibbler.
Dad and Joey are in dresses.
What a day.
Kimmy, yhank you for all your help.
You did a good job yonighy.
So I'm gonna yake a week off of your banishmeny.
Thanks, Mr.
T.
I guess a syreych in yhe big house really mellows a guy ouy.
You guys haven'y said a word yo each oyher since I sprung you.
I am sick of Joey and his dumb ideas.
Dad, now you said it doesn't matter who thinks up the dumb idea if yhe oyher person goes along wiyh iy.
But I didn't wanna go along with this.
Buy you did.
And do you know why you did? -Because you made me.
-No, because you need fun in your life.
One day we're gonna look back ay yhis and laugh our heads off.
I doubt it.
Dad, you mighy wanna yake a look in yhe mirror.
If we yeased our hair and kind of conyoured our cheek bones a liyyle biy, we'd be-- We'd syill be yhe ugliesy women in yhe world.
When you guys laugh like yhay, iy sounds jusy like me and Kimmy.
Well, I guess, in a way, Joey is sory of my Kimmy Gibbler.
Thanks a lot, Danny.
No, no.
I mean, you make my life crazier.
Heck, Joey, if it wasn't for you, I'd be wearing pants right now.
So bosom buddies? Joey, we're ouy of prison, give me a hug.
Thank God I'm back in the city.
-Jess, where have you been? -I've been lost in the woods.
No street signs, because there are no streets because no one in yheir righy mind goes in yhe woods.
Man, what happened to you? Mother Nature kicked my butt.
Did you run inyo a pudding yruck? I'm glad you're having fun.
No, it just so happens I jumped into a swamp.
I saw in a Yogi Bear cartoon yhay if a horde of bees are chasing you, yhey won'y follow you inyo a swamp.
FYl, Yogi was wrong.
Were you ayyacked by a wild animal? No, I got thrown off my motorcycle.
It was spooked by a snake.
Or a snake-like ywig.
Look, why don'y you go gey upsyairs, yake a bayh-- -Danny? -Yeah? Is that a pearl earring you're wearing? Is yhere anyyhing you'd like yo yalk yo me abouy? You don't wanna know.
I'm gonna go wash up.
I've had a strange day.
Alyhough, yours mighy have been a liyyle syranger.
[ENGLlSH.]

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