Future Man (2017) s01e09 Episode Script

1 Previously on Future Man It's the Cameronium.
It scrambled our bodies in the jump.
People fucking love me here.
I've got "it.
" And what am I asked to do? Blow shit up.
I was in love once.
- Marigold? - No, sweet Leslie.
What kind of heroes are we gonna be? The kind who save the world by killing a baby or the kind that save the world by sending a man down a path towards a better life? What have you done? There's a boat leaving tonight and we're gonna make sure Elias Kronish is on it.
Trust me, okay? This day was the turning point in Kronish's life.
Okay, he was gonna give it all up and sail away with his one true love, Leslie, but instead he stayed here with his wife and kept doing his research.
It's his biggest regret in his entire life.
Wolf, get over here and help me stand on his chest! You said if there was a way to save the world without sacrificing any more lives, you'd do it.
This is a way.
How would we get him on that boat? That part's easy, okay? - lt's fine.
- You always say that before launching into a needlessly complicated plan.
We already know that Kronish is having an affair with Leslie.
So all we have to do is expose that - Difficult.
- which will blow up - his marriage - Speculative.
which was bad anyways because Marigold was already cheating on him too - Hearsay.
- which would give him the little push he needs to leave.
It's a win-win for everybody.
- Too slow.
- lt's gonna work.
Trust me, all right? We go back to 2017 to a world where Kronish Lab doesn't even exist.
And if it does, there's always a baby to kill in 1949.
If you time trick us again, I'll burst your nut sack.
Okay.
All right, okay.
Wolf, we need some wheels.
Oh, I'll get you a hundred fucking wheels.
No, uh, four, on a car, we just need a car.
- I'm on it.
- And, Tiger, we got some shopping to do.
[GROWLS.]
I was licking that.
Let me see if I understand this Fatal Attraction thing.
I'm psycho-mistress Glenn Close AKA Leslie.
having pleasure sex with married man Kronish, Michael Douglas.
Yes, exactly.
Now all we have to do is get you inside, take some sexy photos of you on Kronish's bed, leave it there for his wife to find, affair exposed, marriage over, future saved.
Or we put a gun to his head and make him get on the boat.
No, no, no, no, no, we can't force him, it has to be his own decision, free will, okay? Now, put on these assless chaps.
All right.
[ENGINE RACING, TIRES SQUEALING.]
Wolf, what is this? 1985 Pontiac Fiero GT.
2.
8 liter V6, 140 horsepower, and four fucking wheels.
And two fucking seats.
Where am I supposed to go? Jesus Christ! This car is useless.
We'd be better off attaching electrodes to a sewer clown's nuts, jumping on his back, and telling him to run.
What do you want, a sedan? A fucking minivan? We're gonna look lame.
I'll make you lame if you don't return this car.
That's an order.
Yeah, and return the guy, the guy in the trunk, please.
Can a sewer clown do this? Boom, that's our way in.
Wolf was supposed to be here three fingers ago, he's never late! Maybe he got lost.
Resistance soldiers don't ever get lost.
We're born trackers.
He could sniff out a sludge grub in a blood bog 20 kilometers away.
It's gotta be the Biotics.
There's Biotics here? Yeah, after all our dicking around in history, they probably put deep cover guards on Kronish at every point in his life.
Hey.
Tight wheels.
Shit.
He has the TTD.
They're gonna be tracking that.
I gotta go find Wolf.
- But this is our only shot.
- You planned this op, said yourself it was gonna be simple, so you're gonna have to pull it off solo.
- But - You can do this.
You've come a long way.
Now put on these assless chaps.
Saddle up, Big Poppa.
Fate of the world.
God damn it, Tiger.
Children behave That's what they say - when we're together - Do this go on my neck or where? - Ow! - And watch how you play They don't understand And so we're running just as fast as we can Holding on to one another's hand Trying to get away into the night and then you put your arms around me and we tumble to the ground And then you say I think we're alone now There doesn't seem to be anyone around I think we're alone now [HORN HONKING.]
Hey! I'm tracking here! I'm tracking! Where are you, Wolf? I'd say it was the right time To walk away When dreaming takes you nowhere It's time to play Bodies working overtime Money don't matter The time keeps ticking When someone's on your mind Funny but it's always the same Playing, playing with the boys You want some of that? Staying, playing with the boys After chasing sunsets One of life's simple joys is playing with the boys My heart is working overtime In this kind of game people get hurt I'm thinking that the people is me If you wanna find me, I'll be Hey, Corey, where you going? Oh, I got some things to take care of.
Oh, come on, man, just one more game.
For me? Ohh One more.
For you, Blaze.
Bodies working overtime Too much dick.
A little too much hair.
That's pretty ladylike.
Oh yeah.
That's a woman.
Perfect.
Let's just seal these up with a kiss for Marigold.
[KISSING.]
- Not complicated at all.
- [PHONE RINGING.]
- Oh! - Well, my husband is coming home in a few hours, so we don't have much time.
Uh-huh.
Yes, come over now.
She is having an affair.
This is even better than my plan.
I'm running out to get champagne, so you let yourself in.
Wear something sexy.
All right, girl, you can do this.
Come on, now.
Coming in.
I love the '80s! Yeah, you stuck around for the best, bro.
Right, bro.
Who we bashing? Good one.
Remember Chase's dog, Zog? Just booked a crazy beer commercial.
National campaign.
Hey, Zog, send a couple cold ones this way.
You're an acrobat Trouble ain't no nothin' for a trailer park Just one thing is gonna ease your craving There's only one drug and I'm gonna see the sun Is this dog a slave? Are you kidding? After his commercials air, we're all gonna be working for him.
Oh, someone forgot the charcoal.
We got no flame for the 'cue! - Aw, no! - Oh, and the meat! Who spaced on the meat? Oh, it was me.
Flame, flesh.
Leave that to me, bros.
Dr.
Kronish is already on his way home? Oh, he's sick? That's wonderful news, thank you.
Oh, Marigold's lover.
Piece of cake.
Shit, the bag.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
[URINATING.]
Elias.
What are you doing here? It's happening! They're squaring up.
[KISSING NOISES.]
[MOANING.]
Oh Leslie, I've missed you.
Now this is complicated.
Hm.
Corey, you're amazing! You saved the party.
I like to party.
Yeah! Let's hear it for the 'cue-meister! [CHEERING.]
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
[SIGHS.]
That's Wolf's foot.
My little toe.
A battle took place here.
A skull hit the ground there.
There.
There.
So many skulls.
Oh, Wolf.
Oh, Wolfie, what happened to you? [MOANING, SPRINGS SQUEAKING.]
[CAT MEWING.]
[MOANING.]
Not now.
Go, go! [MEWING.]
Oh, no.
Come on.
No, no, no.
Come on, you're okay.
You're okay.
Party's over.
Who felled that tree? I don't know what that means but 9 times out of 10 the answer is Corey Wolfhart.
Mm, let me guess, he was drinking this frothy piss water, just scavenging for blowjobs.
Yeah, that's Corey.
He is king of the public beach.
He doesn't care if there are families around or nothing.
What's your deal? Your clothes say party but your face says pooper.
Oh, you think I want a pooping face? I thought he was dead but he went AWOL just to have fun? Well, it sounds to me like you're worrying too much about the fun he's having and maybe not enough about the fun you're not having.
Frothy piss water? I'm close, I'm close! I'm [GROANING.]
[SIGHING.]
Finally.
And now, your turn.
Are you kidding me? Everyone thinks I'm just this old rock-hearted taskbot but I wanna have fun too.
- Yup.
- You know? I wanna.
I wanna lick some party toads, go to Paris, see the Eiffel Hole, shower Mm, mm! I love to shower.
Do my dance.
I wanna do my dance.
Heck yeah! Whoa! Whoa! Got it, you got it.
Wow, that's cool.
You are fun.
Yeah, that's that's what Wolfie doesn't get.
He doesn't get that I can't cut loose.
I can't cut loose.
Not with a world to save.
I should have put him on one of those ownership chains.
No, no, no, see, that's where you're wrong.
I let Zog off this leash, he ran off, came back with a doggie agent and a four-commercial deal.
You gotta let him lap the park, blow off some steam every once in a while.
He will come back because you have a bond of trust and respect and that is more important than any ownership chain.
You're right, he will come back to me.
I'm gonna let Wolf lap the park.
Yeah.
Thank you, bench oracle.
Now I gotta go help a little man in some assless chaps.
Oh your dog.
He's dead.
You ate him.
Yeah, right.
[LAUGHTER.]
Leslie, can I ask you a very serious question? Mm? Were you meowing? I thought that was you meowing! No! Must have been my neighbor's cat, always coming through the window.
I can't blame him, I can't stay away from you either.
Well, good, I wouldn't want you to.
Ever since the 8th grade, I knew who I really was.
I was just too afraid to act on it till I met you.
And you know what? Holding each other, that's the best part.
How did Marigold take the news? Well, um You haven't told her? I'm going to, I'm packed and everything.
This is the hardest part.
I'm thinking of Dear Johning it.
No, no, no, you have to tell it to her face.
You owe her that much.
- Elias, you home? - lt's Marigold! Shit! Hey, honey! Are you having doubts? Tell her! - I just came home early! - I wanna hear it.
I'll be here for moral support.
I'll hide underneath the bed or in the closet.
That's ridiculous.
Out the window.
I'll see you at the marina tonight? Of course.
Why did you come home? The truth is, Marigold, I, uh decided to give myself a birthday treat and come home early so I could curl up with that mystery I'm reading.
Why are you so sweaty? Oh, that's just my heart racing trying to determine who done it.
Okay, all right, well, I have a surprise for you.
But I don't want you ruining it.
So, you are going to get back there, you are going to run me the hottest, nicest bath you can think of, okay? You're gonna add the bubble and a little bit of Epsom salt with that "ge-ne-te.
" 'cause my hip hurts but Mama's feeling fancy.
Okay, baby? [DOORBELL RINGS.]
Oh, you are here.
I'm freaking out! My husband came home early.
Marigold's lover.
What? Mm-mm.
- I am Glenn Close.
- ls she drunk? Your husband is attracted to me.
Fatally.
Jesus Christ! Where did I put that passport? I'm here to have pleasure sex with your husband.
I hope so, that's what I'm paying you for.
Wait here, I'm gonna get Elias.
So you can confront him, about his betrayal? No, so you can fuck him while I go take a bath.
You're not supposed to take a bath.
You're supposed to break down.
Listen, honey, I know our marriage is in trouble but I am not about to become one of those sad divorcées that the ladies at church gossip about and those bitches talk.
You love Leslie, you love him, you're going, find the passport.
I don't wanna have sex with him and he definitely doesn't wanna have sex with me.
That is where you, a birthday prostitute, come in.
Okay, so you're just gonna let Kronish just lap the park, blow off some steam.
Just set him free and know that he'll come back to you based on your bond of trust and respect.
What are you talking about, "set him free"? This is about control.
Who he fucks, when he fucks, what he fucks, I'm in charge.
You are incredible.
Damn right.
You don't give a drifter freedom.
You'll never see him again.
You remind him that you're the one in charge, that he signed up for this mission and whether he likes it or not, you're both in this together till death.
Yes, that is marriage.
You can't give up on it.
- Never surrender.
- Never surrender.
Never surrender.
Thank you, cunning wife oracle.
All right, from this point on, less talking, more fucking.
Speaking of, he never gets fully hard so you might have to roll it on up and cram it in there.
But you look like you know what you're doing.
Good luck.
Copy that.
Roll and cram.
Tiger.
Tiger! Tiger! A Biotic.
- This is a detonator.
- Really? That's what we're doing? Don't move.
You take one more step, I press this button, the whole house is wired, it blows up, we all die, and your mission's a failure.
You wanna test me, you wanna fucking test me? I'll die right now, I'm loco! Okay, you're in charge.
I guess I'm your hostage now.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, you're my hostage.
I suppose you wanna tie me up or something.
Yeah, that's actually a really good idea.
Go, go in there to the right, go.
Don't do anything stupid.
Handcuffs are gonna cost ya.
Don't threaten me, okay? This isn't my first time.
Okay, yeah, I forgot, you're in complete control.
You getting it all hot and steamy for me, baby? Yes.
But we haven't taken a bath together Uh, no, the bath is for me.
Your surprise is in the living room.
Let's just say I know what you've been missing and in order to keep our marriage working, I'm willing to make allowances.
Go, thank you.
Tiger! Tiger, there's a Biotic.
Tiger! - Tiger, there's a - Leslie, is that you? I told you to go out the window! Leslie! Marigold's in the bath.
Come out! Oh, good Lord.
Happy birthday.
Oh my God.
You're my birthday surprise? - She knows.
- She knows? You're a gigolo, aren't you? - Yes.
- Marigold clearly doesn't know what kind of men I find attractive.
But I can't believe she was willing to hire a prostitute.
Oh, the Biotic's a prostitute.
If she's willing to make this kind of accommodation, maybe this marriage will work after all.
What? No, no, no, no.
You have to leave her.
I don't remember asking you.
Look, truth is, I've been gigoloing gigolo gigoing fucking dudes for money for a while now.
This is not the first time that a wife has hired me to try to save her marriage, and trust me, it never works.
- Never.
- Yeah, well, maybe that's on you.
Uh-uh.
You see this? I'm the fucking best, okay? Listen to me.
You are in love with someone else.
Someone who you have crazy, passionate, vibrant sex with for very long periods of time.
But, most importantly, you found someone who you truly love to hold.
Someone who sees you for who you really are.
This marriage that you're in, it's nothing more than an anchor holding you down when really, you need to set sail.
Metaphorically speaking.
Damn, you're one perceptive hooker.
- The best.
- But you know what? - You're right.
- I'm right? - Yes, I should set sail.
- Absolutely! - I can do this.
- You can! - Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Ah.
What do I owe you? - Fifty bucks.
- Take sixty.
Okay.
- You earned it.
- Thank you very much.
- Set sail.
- Set sail.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Hey, Jimmy.
- What's up, Elias? - Hi.
Hey, I think my cat might have climbed through your window again.
Mind if I take a quick look? Well, uh, well, you know, I don't think now is really a good time.
I'm actually sort of in the middle of something.
I have gotta get you out of here, okay? Oh, are you the good guy now? I'm trying to be.
Look, if the wrong person sees you right now, it's gonna undo a whole lot of progress I just made.
Okay, well, I'm not going anywhere until I get paid.
Okay, uh, I got 60 bucks.
Sixty bucks? This isn't a rest stop glory hole.
I'm calling Big Lou.
No, no, no, no, please, don't call Big Lou.
The last thing we need to do is add more people to this right now.
All right, I'll get you more money.
Okay, I'll take a TaB too.
What the fuck's a TaB? Mm, mm, mm, mm.
- Reverend Leslie? - Marigold! I just came to offer Elias a birthday prayer which I just did in my head.
- So, I'm gonna see myself out.
- Okay.
Um Hello, where's my money? Now if you'll excuse me, I really have to talk to my wife.
Man, make sure you call me, man.
I will! [SIGHS.]
You ain't gonna call me.
Come on, you're a good woman.
You gotta get so Come on, this profession isn't for you.
Where are you at? Yeah, you in here, I know you in here.
Oh no, Big Lou! There's some sensitive things happening in the house.
We gotta get you out of here.
I'll tell you what's gonna be sensitive is my asshole after Big Lou sticks his boot up it when I don't get him his money.
Bunny, where the hell are you? Oh no, you don't.
What the hell, man? - ls Bunny in there? - Yeah, but you're not getting her back.
- Why not? - Because she's not yours, you sick son of a bitch.
She's not mine? Who do you think got her out the shelter? Who do you think paid hundreds of dollars to get her fixed? Who do you think cleans up the box that she shits in? You monster! Now we dance.
No, Big Lou, Big Lou, it's okay, I have your money.
Hey, that's my money.
What the fuck is going on here? This asshole sucker punched me.
This filthy pimp abuses this woman! - He's not my pimp.
- I'm a history teacher! You're a prostitute? No, no, he's the prostitute.
No, neither one is the prostitute.
Well, I'm a prostitute.
Look, you're so much more than that.
Shut the fuck up, priest.
- You're a priest? - I'm a reverend.
Yeah, I don't care about none of you freaks.
I just want Bunny back! Hold on a second.
You, you thought that he was the prostitute.
Why would I get you a male prostitute? Yes, why would she, Elias? I thought you wanted me to watch you have sex with him.
I've shared with you my cuckolding fantasy, haven't I? Uh, no.
Hm, I thought you were trying to tell me you were gay.
[LAUGHING.]
Right.
No, just cuckolding.
Just your standard run-of-the-mill cuck Obviously you two have a lot to talk about.
I gotta go.
My boat still leaves at midnight.
Ooh, what boat, what's he talking about? I have no idea.
No, no, don't let him leave.
Come on, be true to yourself.
He's in love with someone else.
Seriously, who is this guy? I haven't the foggiest.
I never met him before in my life.
Oh.
Don't you act like you don't know exactly who I am, Elias.
I will not let you treat me like some slut you can just bang a couple times and then throw in the garbage.
I don't know what this man is talking about.
You thought that you could just come into my life and turn everything upside down and only think about yourself? You think that we can spend an entire weekend making love and then you can just ignore me? Well, you got another thing coming because you know what? I will not be ignored, Elias.
Proof.
Look what he made me do.
Well, what the fuck are these supposed to prove? That's it, I'm calling the police.
Give me a 90-second head start? Oh no! Bunny! Oh Lord, no! My Bunny my Bunny's dea My Bunny's dead! The cat's name is Bunny? Ha.
If I'd have known that, I would have hid it someplace else.
[GROWLING.]
I'm just gonna get my bag and, uh Fuck free will, I should have done the gun thing! I don't care if we go way back, I said the tickets are sold out! Are you Will Call? I'm supposed to ask you about a ticket.
Name's Corey Wolfhart.
The Corey Wolfhart? You run with Zog's crew, right? No.
He runs in mine.
Ran.
Let me get your ticket.
Oh, there it is, Corey Wolfhart.
VIP special.
Well, if it isn't the king of the public beach.
What took you so long? Your tracking skills are slipping.
I consulted two oracles today.
One said give you your freedom and you'll come back to me.
He was dumb and ate his own dog.
The other said rein you in with the illusion of freedom.
She was impressive but crazy.
And then I realized, your freedom, it isn't mine to give or take.
Neither one of us is gonna be free until we finish what we started.
You're wrong.
I'm free now.
Because I quit.