Future Man (2017) s02e08 Episode Script

The Last Horchata

1 [electricity buzzes] LUGNUT: Previously on "Future Man" ESTELLE: Who's there? You made a family here.
You'll always have a place at our Sunday table.
[laughs softly] DR.
AHMADI: You need to move up the launch.
STU: Yeah, you're right, but I need more time to explain it to her.
I've lost her once.
I don't wanna lose her again.
Holy shit.
You're a Biotic.
After everything we've been through.
At least I have someone else.
Who do you have? [dramatic music] [mellow music] JOSH: Come on.
Come on.
I know you're in there.
You gotta be in there.
Come on.
Oh, God.
THIMBLE: Torq-ie, where are you going? WOLF: Gotta go feed the stray.
LEVEL: Be careful.
He's filthy.
WOLF: Chow time.
I snuck some wild nettles in her for you.
Should deepen the flavor profile.
- JOSH: [muffled speech] - Let's get this off you.
JOSH: Mm-hmm.
And easy on the nose.
How you holding up there, buddy? Oh, yeah, you know, uh, well, I didn't sleep last night, but I actually still had nightmares So I, you know, [stammers] that's a good thing.
And then, uh, you know you know about the scorpions.
Bunch of 'em around here, so I kind of spent some of the afternoon fighting those guys off.
So what's what's the plan, Wolf? I'm gonna establish the rule of law.
Uh, respect for our shared humanity, get us back on the Gregorian calendar.
Did you know today is the eleventy-twelfth of the Quetzalcoatl? What does that even mean? The attack, Wolf.
The attack that's happening on Launch Day.
The one that we should be out there actively trying to stop right now instead of being here locked in this Where's Tiger? WOLF: Yeah, about that.
JOSH: I'm not gonna be able to eat my bean mush.
WOLF: Yeah, maybe later.
Yeah.
Tiger's a Biotic, we're never gonna see her again, the TTD's destroyed, so we're stuck in this timeline forever.
Okay, good talk.
JOSH: [muffled] What the fuck? INFORMERCIAL PITMAN: It filters out carbon monoxide, argon, methane, sulfur dioxide, boron trichloride, and it's so versatile and stylish, you can wear it whether you're fixing radiation shields in the Schiaparelli Crater or kite-boarding in the Valles Marineris.
Imagine clean, purified air prepackaged in this beautiful 24-karat gold inlaid mask with a stainless steel breathing apparatus.
Finally, you don't have to choose between looking good and breathing.
[upbeat music] Next up, grav boots.
[exhaling] [grunts] Oh.
Oh, hi.
Sorry, hope my battle-roping didn't wake you.
So, um are you okay? I will be if you have any more of this 'Sorb kicking around.
[exhales sharply] Tiger, that is a class-four medicinal opiate.
Anything more than an eyedropper is considered Not enough.
Not enough.
I'm really not trying to pry here I'm just concerned.
I'm fine.
STU: Come on, Tiger.
You slept 16 hours last night, you spent 80,000 ethereum on bedazzled respirators, and there's a full slice of cheese stuck to your robe.
TIGER: Ah, that's where she went.
STU: And Dr.
Ahmadi has always told me that when you're upset, the worst thing you can do is hold it in.
Wrong.
That's the best thing you can do.
You trap the pain, you crush it inside you, and the juice that drips out, it's your fuel.
STU: Tiger, come on.
Talk to me.
I'm not just a supercomputer.
- I'm super-listener.
- TIGER: Fine, Stu.
You wanna know what's wrong? Okay.
My life? It's in the shit sizzler.
My time machine's busted, my doppelganger sucks, I'm a fucking Biotic, and to top it all off, the one guy I thought I could count on in this timeline he hates me.
So you got anymore of this stuff? What if I told you I had something better than 'Sorb? - Smack? - Better.
Okay.
[dramatic music] What is this? Some kind of weird hat? It's not a hat.
You remember when you first came here and I told you that bodies were just shells? No, not really.
Okay.
Well, this device, it allows you to throw your shell away, and allows you to throw everything away and become whatever you desire.
Okay, you're sounding a lot like the Riddle Gnome of Bonesaw Bridge.
We we killed him for not speaking directly.
Okay.
You you say that your life is on the shit sizzler.
In.
In in the sh in the shit sizzler.
I would like to posit that you only perceive it to be sizzling.
What do you have to lose? Okay.
So I-I just put this on my head, you know, like a hat? - It is not a hat.
- Okay.
If I'm putting it on my head, then, uh you know, by definition, it's a Gah! Where is everything? - STU: Hi.
- What the fuck is this place? We're in a place where there are no shells.
Oh.
Notice anything different about me? You're dressed like a little waiter? [chuckles] - Poke me.
- What? Come on.
Poke me.
Anywhere.
Ow.
Poke me.
Don't jab me.
Wait.
You're real.
Well, I like to think that I'm always real, but, yes, in here, you can perceive me as a physical being.
What is this place? It could be easier to show you rather than explain.
Try this.
Imagine an object, any object.
Picture it in your mind's eye.
Mind's don't have eyes.
Trust me.
I've seen a lot of 'em splattered on my boots.
It's just like a goo.
Okay.
Watch me.
Say I want a red ball.
I simply imagine it Ta-da! It's as real as I am.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now you try.
Close your eyes and imagine something.
Like what? Anything at all.
Okay.
Okay.
You went with, uh an identical red ball.
Okay.
But that's pretty cool, right? Amazing, now we have two little red balls.
Two little red balls that we imagined and are now physical objects.
You can create anything you want in here.
Try again.
Imagine something completely different.
[sighs] Okay.
Okay, I should have been more clear.
Imagine something different than a little ball.
Let your mind run wild.
Go as big as you can dream.
[sighs] Um [high-pitch whirring] Yeah, that's pretty much what I imagined.
Okay, I-I don't think you're quite grasping the power of Your ball creator? It is so much more than balls.
So much more than balls.
I'm giving you a nuclear weapon and you're using it like a cap gun.
You told me to picture something bigger.
I meant something more like this.
Gah! what the fuck? [indistinct chatter] TIGER: God damn it.
So back when I worked at the lab, this was my favorite place to get lunch.
It's just a simple taco truck, but they have really authentic Mexican.
Their plain chicken tacos with no sauce are to die for.
- So this is all just - It's from my imagination.
Memories mostly.
This place hasn't existed for 150 years, but just because it doesn't exist in the analog world anymore, doesn't mean that it can't keep being real.
So, if this is all just your fantasy, - why are we waiting in line? - I love the waiting.
The anticipation of placing your order, is the taco man gonna be nice to me? are they out of horchata yet? Of course, if you don't like being at the back of the line, we can always be a little closer to the front.
- MAN: May I help you? - Oh, hello.
Yeah, that's more like it.
Should have gotten here earlier, suckers.
See? That's why this place is so great.
- Hola! - Hola.
So what kind of tacos do you want? - I can get any kind? - Any kind at all.
Even one that's not on the menu? If you can imagine it, it's on the menu.
I want a cat taco.
- Cat? - Mm-hmm.
I want a cat taco grilled over a garbage fire.
Okie-dokie.
Uh, dos tacos de pollo y dos tacos de gato.
- Por favor.
- Dos pollos, dos gatos.
And whatever the horchata is.
Oh, you're in luck.
There's one left.
- Oh, lucky me.
- 5.
50.
My treat.
They love it when you pay with exact change.
- Gracias.
- Gracias, amigo.
Uh, whatever.
[mariachi music] Well? Mmm, yeah.
Yeah, tastes just like the ones my ward-leader used to give us on Festivus.
- That's good, right? - Eh.
I don't know.
This is too weird.
It tastes real, but - I know it's not real.
- But it is real.
Or as real as anything else is.
That's what I'm trying to show you.
If in the regular world I was to give you a taco, how would you know it was real? - Because it is real.
- But what makes it real? The real tortilla, the real cat.
No.
It's your brain.
Nope, my brain does not make tacos.
The only thing my brain makes is a yellow wax, and it pushes out my ears, and trust me, it does not taste like tacos.
Okay, just stay with me here.
It's your brain.
It's billions of neurons firing, telling you the texture of the tortilla, the smell of the meat, the heat, the the taste.
Everything.
It's just signals perceived by your brain.
So if your brain perceives signals telling you that this is a delicious gato taco, how is that any less real than a real gato taco? Welp, you've done the impossible.
You've made cat tacos unappealing.
Okay, I I know it sounds kooky, but the only thing that's real is your mind.
Everything else your body, the world, the so-called reality that you live in all of that is just constructs, shells.
Look, Stu, this might all make sense to you, but I'm not a nerd.
So you can say this is real, but it's just a big, fancy trick.
[low thrum] God damn it, Stuart! You gotta give me a three count before you just switch planes of existence on me.
Sorry, sorry.
I just want you to understand this the way that I understand this.
This isn't a trick.
Think - Think of your happiest memory.
- Stu, I don't have a happies [rat squeaking] This is your happiest memory? [blade whirs] [stirring orchestral music] [woman vocalizing softly] [sighs] It was the sweetest thing I had ever tasted.
Pure sugar.
This happened years ago, didn't it? But what you're feeling right now, what you just saw, that's real, isn't it? I used to stare at that sweet sugar dice every night.
I couldn't believe that something so simple, so delicious Could exist in such a horrible place.
It gave me hope.
Okay.
Now let's try something else.
Imagine a conversation you wish you had.
Something that never happened, but you desperately wanted.
Stu, I don't ESTELLE: [screams] [yelling] What is this? Where am I? Am I dead? Okay, uh, imagine her calming down.
[yelling] Is this the great beyon oh, hello Ty-Anne.
[giggles] - Morning, Estelle.
- You're a sight.
You been spending evenings in those jazz clubs again? Ah, you know, I can't help it.
I just love that dirty brass.
Oh, it's good seeing you.
- [jazz music] - [baby crying] Oh [chuckles] There goes Elias again.
You know, he misses you something terrible.
I killed him.
I yeah, I mean, I helped I helped kill him.
It was long after you died, but still, I'm I'm sorry.
Tell me about him.
Uh - he had herpes.
- Mm.
But there was there was more to him than that.
He was a kind, brilliant man, but in the end, his work would have lead to something really awful happening.
Which is why we had to you know.
That boy he's always getting into some trouble.
You know, he had a good heart, but something changed in him after he lost that dance off in college.
Yeah, that's on us too.
Well, Futturman, really.
He got over it and he was actually doing quite well for several years, until he unexpectedly ended his marriage and he went off on that sailing trip with his best friend, The Reverend Leslie.
Yes.
- His friend.
- Hmm.
Estelle, I-I want you to know, I wouldn't have I wouldn't have done it - if there were another way.
- Well I suppose you could have killed me, right? [laughs] Before I had Elias.
Huh.
Wow, yeah.
That probably would have been easier.
Hmm.
Well, that's gonna annoy me now.
Oh, pay it no mind.
You're a good woman, Ty-Anne.
Sometimes doing the right thing requires sacrifice.
Now I understand that.
I have no quarrel with you.
Only love.
Oh.
Now, between you, me, and the lamp post, I think that fellow over there's sweet on you.
- Stuart? - [giggles] Yeah.
He's kind of cute, right? I mean, he looks like a little waiter.
TIGER: You You stop your foolin'.
- [both chuckle] - Well, I'm just saying You know, I have a nose for these sort of things.
[both chuckle] It was nice seeing you, Ty-Anne.
You too, Estelle.
[wind blows softly] Tiger? Where'd you go? TIGER: Come with me.
Hey, snazzy outfit.
[chuckles] - Why are we in my fantasy? - It's not your fantasy.
It's mine.
Fall cartoonishly.
- [zany slide whistle] - ALL: Whoa.
STU: [chuckles] All right, I'll have a full-roast tabby, don't skimp on the tail, and a plate of cracklin's, German chocolate cake, and a hot blood-grog served in the skull of Gribnar The Rarely Gentle.
That's one of my best kills.
5.
50.
Keep the change, and, uh grow a mustache.
Oh.
See how fun this is? Once you let go of your preconceived notions of reality, you can Yeah, okay, you don't have to keep convincing me.
I know that this isn't real, but I don't care.
[soft music] [big band music] Life is a horrible nightmare The world's an unfixable mess I'm completely alone And I've never known Anything resembling happiness Now here we are in this dream world And I feel like I'm walking on air So while I'm here I'll be grinning ear to ear I know this isn't real, but I don't care The only man I ever trusted Abandoned me and hates my guts Though why face that pain when I can just make it rain Lollipops and jellybeans [all cheer] And salted nuts So I'll just forget for a moment My crippling sense of despair A little denial might be just my style I know this isn't real but I don't care That's it.
You've got it.
Whatever you dream you can conjure Thanks to my magic software You know what I'd like, sugar? A big block of sugar.
It's just a sugar substitute But I don't give a hoot 'Cause it looks like real sugar [sniffs] And it smells like real sugar [slurps] And it tastes like real sugar So I don't care Wow, I don't know how this is happening, but I like it.
- The tech behind this is stupendous - Ooh, good one.
The science is beyond compare Neuro-transmission forms embodied cognition That stimulates your dendrites, nodes, and I don't care BOTH: As long as we're here for each other In this fantasy world built to share Good-bye living hell 'Cause life is pretty swell TIGER: I know this isn't real But it's got that real feel Yeah, that's kinds the whole deal BOTH: I know this isn't real But I don't care! She knows this isn't real but she don't care TIGER: Nope.
- Wow! - [both laugh] - I - Wow.
You've got some moves.
- Hey, you've got some pipes.
- [both laugh] I don't know that I've ever felt so free.
It was amazing.
The real you came out for the first time in there.
[both chuckle] [melancholy music] I wish I could see the real you.
I mean, if there was a real you.
There is.
And I wanna show you.
I never take anyone down here.
Literally.
You are the first human being I've ever shown me too.
Nice turrets.
Those LK-7 Liquifire Inskinerators? [chuckles] LK-8s actually.
Damn.
So, um [sighs] - I-I just - What? You revealed a part of yourself today that you keep hidden, the inside, and I want to do the same for you, but the part that I'm afraid to show people is the outside.
Because it's, um it's confusing and a little weird.
Hey, all of this is confusing and a little weird.
- Yeah.
- [both laugh softly] Okay.
This is as far as I can go.
But I'll be with you the whole time.
[soft dramatic music] This is me.
- You're beautiful.
- STU: [chuckles] You don't have to say that.
No, I mean I I mean it.
I've I've seen so much ugliness in the world, but this is this is magnificent.
STU: When I first started experimenting with uploaded consciousness, I had to use physical organic brain matter.
How much of yours is in here? STU: Now? Only a cortex or two.
This is all that's left of my physical being.
Can I touch it? STU: Uh uh, Tiger [chuckles softly] - I promise I'll be gentle.
- STU: Uh - I I'm not sure.
- TIGER: Okay.
Okay, hey hey, we can just hang out and we can just talk.
STU: Well I'm I'm not saying you can't touch it.
Do you want me to touch it? STU: [exhales] Yeah.
[chuckles softly] [beeps, whirring] STU: I can't believe we're doing this.
[high-pitched thrumming] - Wait.
- What? What? What? What? STU: Uh, we should use protection.
Of course.
Right.
- Sorry.
- STU: No, it's okay.
It's okay.
Just, uh, here.
TIGER: Oh.
Okay.
Uh Okay, I don't know.
I'm STU: I think you got it uh, I think you backwards.
Ah, yeah.
- Okay.
- STU: Hurry.
Oh I'm just I'm trying.
STU: Leave a little bit on the end and then - and roll it down the base.
- Okay, yep, yep.
I feel like it would feel better without this, but it's fine.
STU: Hi.
TIGER: Hi.
STU: Yeah.
Oh, a little to the left.
- Like that? - STU: Yeah.
Yeah, right there.
Yeah, rub that in the glo Yeah.
Oh STU: Ah, that feels good.
I-I can feel you pulsing.
STU: Yeah, it's low low-voltage electric shocks.
- [exhales] - STU: [grunts] TIGER: You can, um you can you can up the voltage.
- STU: Yeah? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[exhales] - Stu! - STU: [grunts] - God.
- [electricity crackles] [both moaning, groaning] STU: Tiger.
Oh, Tiger.
TIGER: Oh, yeah, yeah.
[breathing heavily] Stu! Well, I should, um I should probably get some shut-eye.
[sighs] I remember sleep.
Good night, Stu.
Hey, uh [sighs] There's something I think I should tell you.
Uh [sighs, chuckles] I'm trying to find the right words.
You can, uh You can tell me anything.
You know, this whole plan to relocate humanity to Mars? - Yeah.
- Well, technically, I don't mean the planet Mars.
MARS actually stands for "Mankind's Automated Reality System.
" That's where I took you today.
So you're gonna you're gonna upload everyone? I really did want to take us to Mars.
That was the original plan.
But as it turns out, transporting the entire human race to another planet is damn near impossible.
So I developed an alternative, which, honestly, is far superior.
Okay, so why the space suits and the rockets and the clearly misleading acronym? The upload only takes if the subject goes willingly.
The idea of transferring a consciousness scares a lot of people, but a journey to Mars, that sounds like a fun adventure.
It's pretty sneaky, Stu.
Guess you're not a big believer in people making their own decisions.
People have been making their own decisions for thousands of years and it brought them to the brink of annihilation.
So you you think you're qualified to act on behalf of humanity? I think I am.
Just imagine a world with no hunger because nobody needs to eat.
A world with no poverty because resources are infinite.
A world where everyone can finally get along.
Your friends and family are always close by.
A world where the music's always hot and the cat meat's always fresh.
A world without shells.
That's humanity's future.
That's MARS.
Will you come with me? [dramatic music] Yeah.
I can't save the world if I can't save you.
[sighs] I must not be the real J-1.
J-1 real J-1 could definitely, definitely fix you.
Could definitely turn you on.
That makes me what? That makes me fucking what? J-0? J-nothing? Okay, come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Oh, please.
Please give me a sign.
Anything to keep me going.
Please.
That that is a good one, you sick, sick fuck.
[beeping] [gasps] Oh, my God.
[Pup-E barks] You can speak and you have the voice of an angel.
[soft music] [sighs] I love you so much, Pup-E Q.
Barkington.
- [Pup-E barking] - [laughs softly] [baby talk] Who's a good boy? [babbling] [laughs] Good boy.
Who's a good boy? Joosh? Here? [dramatic music] - JOSH: Who's a good boy? - STU: Bring me this boy.
- JOSH: [barking] - If anyone tries to stop you, kill them.
JOSH: [kissing] [gasps] Ooh, you got the stinky puppy breath.
Who got the stinky puppy breath? Who's my only friend in the whole world? You're my only friend in the whole world.
[dramatic music]