Gabby Duran & The Unsittables (2019) s01e04 Episode Script

Crushin' It

1 From that day on, I haven't been able to look at roast chicken without crying.
That's so funny.
Actually, it was really traumatic.
What are you looking at? (soulful music playing) Look at your future Look at your future Look at your future Look at your future Look at your future Look at your future And look at your future Look at your future (rapid thumping heartbeats) (music continues) Hey, Wesley.
Hi, I don't think we've met.
I've been out of school doing charity in Africa.
- I'm Jace.
- I'm Scabby.
Go nice to meet you.
I'm Gabby.
So nice to meet you.
Um, Gabby? Let go of his elbow.
Anyway, I'm passing out flyers for the volunteer program "Big Buddies.
" An organization where big kids get to mentor little kids.
- Ooh, sounds pretty - He was talking to me.
We're having a field day event this weekend.
Hey, you guys should come.
Maybe it'll inspire you to be Big Buddies yourselves.
Well, I have a petite frame, so I don't know how big I could be.
(laughs awkwardly) Yeah.
Okay then.
I'm off to lunch to put some yum-yums in my tum-tum.
I get hungry too! We're so alike.
What is happening to me? Uhh I'm no expert but I think you might have a crush.
(theme song playing) Oh, yeah I do normal like a fish rides a bicycle Fit in like summer and an icicle Don't fight it, just be an original Ooh, ooh, ooh I roller skate outside the lines When I try to stay in, it's no surprise It's a fail, it's okay, I'm one of a kind One of a, one of a kind So anytime I feel some type of way Don't understand the human race So what, so what, so what I do my thing, I do my thing You do your thing, You do your thing When we don't fit in We stand out in the crowd and we shout it loud I do my thing, I do my thing I'm the one and only, I'm the one and only Don't try to fit in, Don't try to fit in Mm-hmm, I do my thing So explain to me again why we need to steal a piece of Jace's hair.
Because I don't get crushes, okay? I'm not that girl.
And if I'm acting like I have a crush, that can only mean one thing.
Jace is an emotion-manipulating alien.
Or you just have a very normal human crush.
Like me and that pretty cartoon horse that sells insurance on TV.
Yeah, well, I don't.
And once I get Jace to admit what he's been doing, I am going to kill him, because this feels awful.
Wesley: Awful? Like awful how? You saw me over there.
My stomach started flopping around.
My tongue got all thick.
And it felt like someone took my skin and replaced it with some sort of really uncomfortable skin-like suit.
That just sounds like regular human emotions, Gabby.
No way.
Not for me.
So I'm gonna get a piece of his hair for Swift's orb to analyze to prove he's an alien and this isn't me.
You in or out? Yeah, I'm in.
You're lucky I'm such a sucker for hijinks.
Okay, you distract him.
I'll get the hair.
All right.
On it.
Hi, Jace.
Do you like food? If so, why? Please, talk to me for a long time.
What a great question.
Food and I go way back.
It all started with my mother's milk.
Hi, Gabby.
What's up? - Not my heart rate.
- (rapid thumping heartbeats) Hey, can I comb you? I really don't think that This isn't weird.
Wow, you're popping right into my personal bubble here.
Principal Swift: Gabby.
Might I speak with you? Why were you assaulting Jace's hair? You do know there's a thing called consent? Also, his hair is already utter perfection.
It is, isn't it? Smells like coconut mixed with that moment you realize you wake up three hours before your alarm and you still have so much time to sleep.
You know? Gabby, are you ill? You're flush, sweating, and talking nonsense.
- I'm fine.
- Really? Because I can literally hear your heart pounding from here.
(rapid pounding heartbeats) Look, you caught me at a weird time, that's all.
I'm trying to figure out if Jace is an alien.
Well, you could have just asked me.
After all, I know all the aliens in Havensburg.
So, Jace is an alien? Oh, no.
Heavens, no.
He's as human as they come.
So, wait then I just feel the way I feel? No, that can't be.
Oh, Gabby, you're talking cray-cray.
I was going to give you a babysitting assignment, but with the way you're acting, I'm not sure you're up to the task.
No, Swifty, I'm good.
Just give me the gig.
You'll be watching Kali, an 8-year-old girl from the planet Gwargwar.
Now, I will warn you she comes from a war-ridden, savage world.
So she may be a tad intense.
Hello! (whooshing) Anyone home? Hello, hello? I'm here to (gasps) watch Kali.
Kali: Wrong.
I'll be watching you.
(gulping) Jeremy, I have awful news.
You realized that the guy who was waving at you yesterday was really waving at the guy behind you.
He was? (stammering) No.
There is something wrong with Gabby.
Now when I saw her earlier, she was acting very strangely.
So, I internet'd her symptoms and according to my research, Gabby might be in something called "love.
" I hate it.
What does it mean? Well, apparently, love is a human emotional state.
To help us understand it better, I've rented the educational documentary Love Is In The Air.
Comfort is for weaklings.
What are you doing in my bag? Checking for weapons.
Don't touch that! "I love Jace Duran.
" Who's Jace Duran? He's nobody.
Clearly, you are frightened of this boy.
- (rapid thumping heartbeats) - Your elevated pulse says it all.
Fear not.
I will eliminate him.
The truth is, Jace is a boy that I have a crush on.
And it's the worst.
I feel like I can't trust my own mind or body anymore.
I'm usually so in control, but now I'm just not.
On my planet, when we want to get rid of something, we crush it.
Usually with a rock.
You know what, Kali? You're right.
I just need to crush my crush.
Then we will crush Mr.
Jace Duran.
Perhaps with a rock.
I meant I'm just gonna figure out a way to stop liking him.
After this, we're going to the spa, 'cause you need to relax.
Let's push the limits of our taste buds as we embark on a salsa journey ranging from mild to "burn your tongue off.
" - Shall we begin? - Good luck to you, sir.
Mmm, tangy, but got nothing on mi abuela's.
So about my situation with Jace, Your crush? Call it whatever you want, I need to get rid of it.
I need your help brainstorming.
Not a problem.
My brain is at your disposal.
Notes of earth, fire, and hint of back sweat.
- Not bad.
- Okay, how about this? We buy him a one-way ticket to Italy.
The pasta's so good, he'll never want to come back.
Arrivederci, crush.
Or you could just tell him how you feel.
Don't be dumb.
What if he doesn't like me back? Oh.
(Gabby panting) Lots of 'peños in this one.
Honestly, Gabby (heaves) sounds like you're afraid of rejection.
I'm afraid of nothing.
And what makes you such an expert on this stuff? I'm just a boy in touch with his feelings sitting in front of a girl who's not in touch with her feelings.
The point is, I need to figure out a way to get rid of this crush so I can go back to being myself.
Both: Ah! Salsa number four burns so good.
Is it normal that I can feel flames in the back of my eyes? Uh-huh.
Okay, I got it.
I'll just spend some time with Jace.
Eventually, I'll find something so unattractive about him the crush will be broken.
You're gonna get rid of your crush by hanging out with your crush? Exactly.
Just need to find a way to get close to Jace without making it weird.
(exhales forcefully) I'll do a little charity work.
(intense music playing) (both screaming) Is my tongue still there? I don't think my tongue is still there.
(heaving) It's not working.
Why did we do this? Man on TV: I've always told myself I'd never fall in love with my co-pilot.
Woman on TV: Jim, stop.
Love is in the air.
Now let's land this bird.
Well, I have seen enough.
And I fully understand what love is now.
It's a dangerous airborne pathogen that infects humans, compromising their judgment and impairing their decision-making.
- Huh? - Well, love is a virus that makes you go cuckoo.
Now, apparently, Gabby is still in the early stages of the love disease.
A phase called "crushing.
" Ooh, she just got even grosser.
I agree.
Much grosser.
Anyway, according to Love Is In The Air the illness spreads quickly.
So we have very little time till Gabby progresses to full-blown love.
When it takes her, she'll be unable to think clearly for the rest of her life.
She may not even know who we are.
Then we gotta go stop love.
You know it's rather late.
Tomorrow morning perhaps.
- Let's make it late morning.
- Hmm.
(kids chatting excitedly) All right.
Now don't forget, today you're not an alien.
You're pretending to be my little buddy so we can get close to Jace.
Got it? The only reason I'm doing this is to honor my vow of protecting you.
Whatever you want to tell yourself.
Jace: Go! Come on, you got it! Go, go! Yes, we got it.
We're doing good.
We're doing good, yeah.
Oh, yeah! Yes! Whoo! We did it.
High five, Ralphie.
Both: Ugh! - Gabby, you joined the program? - Yep.
This is my little buddy Kali.
She is totally normal, totally human.
I'd shake your hand, but mine's covered in egg goo.
Put your hand anywhere near me and you'll lose it.
(Gabby laughs awkwardly) Oh, kids do say the darndest things.
Okay, bye now.
This was fun.
He's a mega-Magoo.
I like him so much.
But not for long.
All we have to do is bide our time until Jace does something so bad I'll never be attracted to him again.
Your species' methods of problem-solving are laughable.
You know that, right? - Hi, Jace.
- Hiya, Gabby.
- (sniffs) - What's up? Later, Jace.
How was the boy's breath odor? So onion-y but somehow I still don't hate him.
So I said to the guy, how often do calendars get dates? 365 days a year.
(children groaning) That joke was terrible.
Then your crush is broken.
Not even close.
No rhythm.
No style.
But I still wanna introduce him to my mother.
Gah! I hate this.
Jeremy: Gabby! Gabby! Swift: We're here to save you! Uh She's not at home.
She's not here.
If we can't find Gabby, how are we supposed to save her from the love virus.
I know you're worried about her, Jeremy, but we have got to Oh! Oh, Jeremy.
What exactly is "flan"? No one knows.
Plus there's no time for that.
According to the film, the virus fully incapacitates the host once a verbal confession of feelings has been expressed.
So we must find Gabby before she makes a big romantic speech or you'll be looking for a new babysitter.
Oh! Affectionate food sharing.
Another dangerous phase.
(both gasp) You're welcome.
You were this close to being in love.
It's spreading.
We need to move.
I can't catch love from eating this, can I? Oh, Jeremy, come on.
(engines revving) This isn't working.
He's like a honey trap.
The more I fight, the more I get stuck in beautiful, brown-eyed honey.
So what is our new plan of attack? I don't know.
Maybe I should just tell him how I feel, you know? Just be all "I like you.
" Boom.
"So, Jace, how about me and you" How about me and you what? Uh, um, how about me and you Uh, you and me Th-the two of us You see, when a girl and a boy - No, can't do it.
- (engine starts) Gabby, where are you going? So, long, Jace.
Bye forever.
(Gabby and Kali screaming) Wait.
The woods aren't safe.
Gabby! - Kali: Where are you going? - I don't know.
Jace: Gabby, stop! Gabby: Why is he following us? We're supposed to stay on the marked track! Kali: He's approaching.
What are you doing? The track is back that way.
You have an appalling sense of direction.
I just want to get away from Jace.
- (metal scrapes) - Then I shall help you.
No, what are you - (hornets buzzing) - (both screaming) I'll save you, little buddy.
Sting me, hornets.
Spare the little one.
Ah! Ah, my arm.
- (screaming) - (crashing) Jace: Run, little buddy! It looks like they've survived.
I failed you.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Ow! Ow, ow.
Ow! This is all my fault.
- Before you go, I just - Don't worry, Denise.
I'll be okay.
Especially knowing I have the Big Buddies program to come back to.
Oh well, now this is awkward.
I was gonna say you're kicked out.
But why? You put your little buddy in danger.
You are lucky little Ralphie didn't get hurt.
- I was only doing it to help - Save it! You are not a Big Buddy.
You're a bad buddy.
You can't do this.
I'm the reason this all happened.
If anyone should get in trouble, it's me.
And who are you? Wait, don't answer that.
'Cause I don't care.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make a very delicate phone call to Ralphie's parents.
Who are lawyers.
Prone to lawsuits.
Yay, me.
And I thought dealing with my crush was bad.
This is so much worse.
I think I ruined Jace's life.
And all because I was afraid of getting rejected.
- On my planet - I know, I know.
You destroy the fear.
Destroying is kind of your go-to.
No, Gabby, on Gwargwar, we face our fears.
Because facing our fear is the only way to destroy it.
You're right.
The only way I'm gonna get through this is by stepping up and dealing with it like the shot-caller that I am.
I need to talk to Jace.
We'll never catch up with them on foot.
Not with your feet.
They're too narrow.
I have an idea.
Yo, stop! Wait! Wait! Stop now or we'll find your family and throw them off a cliff! (tires screech) Gabby: Thanks for stopping.
I need to make a big romantic gesture.
Third time this week.
Get this over with.
Jace: Ow.
Ow, ow.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
I like you, Jace.
And I don't know what you last name is.
I know.
Crazy, right? How could a girl as fly as me like a guy as uncool as you? That felt unnecessary but go on.
Anyway, that's why I've been acting weird.
I guess I was just a little afraid that you would reject me.
So there it is.
I'm out there.
So, Jace, do you maybe wanna hang out sometime? Wesley told us Gabby's location too late.
She's already made her big romantic speech.
But perhaps if we get Jace before he reciprocates, we can still save her.
Let's go be heroes.
Gabby, ever since the day I met you, my life has changed.
Swift: No! Don't finish that speech.
(yells) - Ow! - What're you guys doing? - Saving you.
- Jace: You're all crazy.
Can somebody please help me up? The gurney strap is scraping against the stings, and the stings are definitely infected.
Ow, ow.
Ow! What I was going to say Gabby, is that ever since the day I met you, my life has changed for the worse.
You got me kicked out of the only thing I care about.
You violently combed my hair, and, honestly, I don't think you even got my calendar joke.
So, you don't like her? No! Oh.
Job well done.
We successfully saved them from love.
- Jeremy: You're welcome.
- Ow! I have no clue what just happened.
But back to us.
That was a hard pass, right? Please take me away.
And gently this time.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Ow, ow, ow.
Yep, Jace rejected me.
I know now that feelings can be a little overwhelming sometimes, but I can get through them if I'm just honest with myself.
So if anything like this ever happens again, which I am pretty sure won't, I'll be okay.
And I can relate, actually.
Something similar happened to me with my second husband.
We marry young on my planet.
(school bell ringing) So, how's that crush? Gone, actually.
Turns out not being into me is pretty much the ultimate deal-breaker.
Devil woman.
Stay away from me.
Devil woman! Devil woman! Although I do find something oddly attractive about fear.
Love is a complex thing, bruh.
Olivia: Next time on Gabby Durant and the Unsittables Please, let me fill in for your baby-sitting aliens.
Let me formally introduce myself.
Susie Glover, your neighborhood super-sitter.
Olivia: I was kinda having fun with Susie.
I want her to baby-sit me.
(theme music playing) Gorgeous!
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