Gamer's Guide To Pretty Much Everything (2015) s02e15 Episode Script

The Rodeo

1 Look what just came in the mail.
If it's from the Redwood criminal court, and addressed to me, burn it and don't ask questions.
It's our official invitation to the IGL national gaming tournament in New York City! You're going to New York, you're going to New York, you're going to New York, you're just a guy eating a sandwich.
Uh, guys, the hotel that the tournament is at is pretty expensive.
This trip is gonna cost us at least 5,000 bucks.
We must be staying at one of those fancy hotels where the rats stay inside the walls.
Anyone have an idea on how to make a lot of money quick? - I got something.
- It has to be legal.
I got nothin'.
Come on, guys.
We'll game for it.
There's an online tournament for the game Timber Jump next weekend.
Look, it's got a big cash prize.
Uh, that's a motion-based game, which means all four of us have to be in shape.
Yeah, and you and Wendell haven't played anything where you actually have to move in a long time.
You just sit and game on the couch.
We also sit and game on the toilet.
He's not lying.
Me and Ashley will be okay.
We've been playing tons of Booty Shaker.
Check it.
[Dance music plays.]
I can't believe you taught Franklin how to do that.
I didn't, he taught me.
It started at the beach when I was trying to shake a jellyfish out of my pants.
Anyway, you guys should download Timber Jump, just to get a little practice in.
Fine, but we're professional gamers.
I'm pretty sure we can handle jumping over a few logs.
How many logs does this forest have? If I don't make it, tell Franklin I said, "Eat a bag of rocks.
" COMPUTER VOICE: You have just finished Finally.
the warm-up.
Get ready to start the game.
I can't do it.
You gotta carry me.
[title music.]
Gamer's Guide Gamer's Guide 2x15 - The Rodeo Gamer's Guide [groaning.]
Dude, how can we be so out of shape? You I get, but me? I treat my body like a temple.
Maybe it's because we've just been sitting on a couch for months while we train for nationals.
No, I think it's probably someone else's fault.
Wendell, we can't just sit here and watch TV.
I feel like we're turning into pathetic losers.
MAN ON TV: Do you feel like you're turning into a pathetic loser? BOTH: Yes.
Do you need to get fit fast? BOTH: Yes.
Do you want rock-hard muscles like this? BOTH: Oh, yeah! Then get fit with me, Cowboy Cody.
Seven-time bull-riding champion.
My new fitness system will get you ranch ripped faster than you can say yee-ha! Call today.
Let's call today.
The phone's all the way over there.
Let's call later.
You're in luck, Ashley.
I'm about to ask Emma Wheeler to the big dance, and you're gonna have front row seats to the prom-posal of the year.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
If there's one thing I know about teenage girls, it's that they love being romantically put on the spot in front of the whole school.
Please tell me you're not gonna ask Emma to prom wearing that track suit.
I'm not stupid.
I'm Cupid.
You may be both.
Ow! What idiot just 'Tis I, Franklin.
Cupid's arrow shot from my bow.
With me to prom will you go? I'm not interested.
In anyone but me? I'd rather die.
Than live without my love.
So, gamers, we signed up for Cowboy Cody's week-long intensive boot camp.
We had to use the last of our team funds, but we'll make all the money we'll need for nationals when we win that motion-based tournament.
Plus, we'll be ranch ripped, like this.
This is actually just a shirt I won at the county fair, but you get the idea.
Come on, work your core.
Pick up the pace, piggies.
We did it.
We're done.
That's some pretty good stackin' for some city boys.
Yeah, well, these city boys might surprise you.
Hey, there's no nap time in my boot camp.
Stack 'em again.
Yee-ha! Scoop, lift, fling.
2 Scoop, lift, fling.
That's it, work your lats.
This is the smelliest dirt ever.
It's not dirt, it's manure.
Oh, good.
I was beginning to think it was cow poop.
Good workout, boys.
Now we're gonna do some cardio.
I want you to run six miles into town, and bring me back the things on this list.
I'll be waiting.
Milk, eggs, a birthday card for Grandma? You know what this means? This guy's a really good grandson.
What? No, Wendell, think about it.
This "fitness program" is just us doing his chores for him.
Our ab workout was changing his tractor tire.
Our shoulder workout was painting his barn.
He even made me wash his truck.
What did he say you were working out? He mumbled something about my glutes.
We have to confront this guy and get our money back.
Right after we blast our forearms by hooking up his Wi-Fi.
I think I know why Emma said no to my prom-posal.
I got a few dozen theories.
I didn't go big enough.
That wasn't one of them.
Look, Emma's not worth it.
To be honest, she's kind of a mean girl.
Well, I see something in her that you don't.
She's hot.
Well, I don't like her.
You know, whenever there's a boy I like, she swoops in and tries to steal him.
That's great.
It's really not.
You pretend like we're dating, and then she'll want me.
I don't know, Franklin.
For a friend.
Oh, fine, I'll do it.
Yes! Now remember, if we want people to believe that we're boyfriend and girlfriend, we'll probably have to kiss.
[Wind whooshes.]
Whoo! Whoo ha! Whoo! That was a great ride.
Yee-ha! Don't give us that yee-ha, you yahoo.
You just brought us up here so you could take our money, and have us do all your work.
You're a fake, and this whole boot camp is fake.
I even bet this goat is fake.
Ow! Okay, goat's real.
But the point is, you're paying us our money back, and paying for all the labor, or we're gonna expose your little scam.
Yee-ha! You can't do that.
This is my best scam.
I mean, what scam? I mean oh, crud.
Pony up, cowboy.
Well, I already spent your money on the entrance fee to a bull-riding competition.
But don't worry.
The first prize is $10,000.
When I win it, I'll pay you back.
Oh, no.
If you win, we're splitting the prize money, or we're going to the sheriff.
All right, all right.
It's a deal.
I'll even "yee-ha" on it.
What? We're not doing that.
BOTH: Yee-ha! That was fun.
You missed out.
I can't believe what started as an innocent friendship has blossomed into a full-blown romance.
Ashley, you're dating Franklin? Yeah.
That's the idea.
It's crazy to hear it out loud.
Well, I have to get to away.
Listen, Franklin, I may have been a little harsh with you yesterday.
Maybe I could take you to lunch later and we can share a Salisbury steak.
Well, even though I'm in love with, um whatever her name is, I guess there's no problem sharing an innocent lunch with someone who's a friend who's a lady - who's you.
- Sounds great.
We might just win that prize money.
He's pretty good.
"Pretty good's" not gonna get us to New York.
Time to level up Cody's training.
Turn it off, turn it off! [whirring.]
Hey, looks like I am ranch ripped.
We gotta unplug this thing.
How is this even possible? Cody.
Are you okay? Yee noo.
3 Maybe you boys will stop laughing when you hear that I broke every single bone in my butt.
Hope you boys are happy.
Now I can't compete in that rodeo.
- There goes our money for New York.
- Wait How long do you have to stay on that bull to win? - Eight seconds.
Why? - Eight seconds? I can sit on a bull for eight seconds.
I'll ride in your place.
I'm a pro gamer, which means I'm a pro at sitting.
An amateur can't get on the back of a bull and expect to win.
He may be an amateur, but he's got the heart of a lion and guts of steel.
And when those fail, I'll save the day by cheating.
So, we good? ALL: Yee-ha! You're right, that is fun.
- So, you and Ashley, huh? - Oh, yeah.
It's incredibly hot and real.
Well, I just can't believe that I turned down your prom-posal.
What was I thinking? That I was a nerd in a Cupid diaper that you wouldn't be caught dead with.
At least, that's what you told me to my face.
I was just playing hard to get.
Don't you know anything about girls? No, I honestly do not.
It's too bad.
I'd totally go to the dance with you if you weren't dating Ashley.
I'll dump her right now! I mean we have been growing apart.
If you really cared about me, you'd break up with her in front of everyone in school.
I have to know that you're not just playing me.
Well, um, let's assume I am a player.
Why the public dumping? I was the star of the volleyball team for three years until Ashley came along and stole my spot just because she was "better.
" And don't get me started on her perfect hair.
That is too much hair for one girl.
There are rumors she uses volumizer.
She would.
Look, if you wanna go to prom with me, you'll do as I ask.
Trust me.
It'll be the best prom of your life.
: And what a ride from Rodeo Russ Stanton.
He's the one to beat.
There he is, wearing his iconic golden belt buckle.
Up next is Kid Fury.
This is it.
Think I'm ready? Absolutely not.
Hey, good news.
I found a way to cheat.
I snuck into the restricted area and changed the bull assignments.
You were on the Tulsa Tornado, now you're on the Little Butterfly.
What?! I pulled tons of strings to get you on the lazy old Tulsa Tornado.
Little Butterfly is the meanest bull in the state.
Don't you know all bulls are ironically named? [Angry snorting.]
What?! No, no, no, no, no! This might be the first time in the history of the world when cheating wasn't the right thing to do.
All right, now's your chance to dump Ashley in front of everyone.
And baby, make her cry.
Looks like it's working out with Emma.
Glad I could help out.
Look, I just wanna say I'm sorry.
For what? Everyone, gather around.
Franklin's got something to say.
Um "There is a girl here who is not good enough to date Franklin Delgado.
" - [all gasping.]
- I know, I know.
"This isn't easy for me to say," but she's a lowdown, hideous she-beast who deserves to be dumped in public.
"And that girl is" - Emma.
- Ha! What? That's right, Emma.
You're like the chocolate Easter bunny.
Beautiful and delicious on the outside, but hollow on the inside.
You know, she uses volumizer! Wow, Franklin, that was really impressive.
Looks like those girls think so, too.
Looks like you'll have your pick of prom dates.
Sorry, girls.
There's only one girl I'm gonna take to prom.
- Ashley.
- Nope.
You've totally misread the situation.
Good news, girls.
I'm back on the market.
Girls? And up next is Kid Fury.
All right, Cody.
Any last pieces of advice? Try not to get snapped in half, 'cause that can get you disqualified.
Okay, remember, everything's riding on this.
Our team, our money, and our trip to Nationals.
No pressure, buddy.
You're Kid Fury.
You're unstoppable.
There's no way you're letting go of this bull.
Game on.
Game over.
And Kid Fury has just set a record for the shortest ride in rodeo history.
Our $10,000 prize goes to Rodeo Russ Stanton! Yeah! Yeah! Whoo! I didn't do it? I could've sworn I was on there for eight seconds.
You looked like a dang fool out there, and that's coming from a guy wearing cement underpants.
- [Bull snorting.]
- Oh, no, folks.
Little Butterfly's going after Rodeo Russ.
You, rodeo clown.
Do your job and distract that bull.
Oh, no, no.
You see, I'm not that type of clown.
Alright? I'm just gonna I'm gonna go.
Get that clown in there.
Bad bull, bad bull.
Hey, bull.
[Cloth tearing.]
Eat undies.
Rekt! Kid, you just saved my life! I don't believe it.
Russ is giving that heroic clown his priceless belt buckle as a sign of appreciation.
That's a classy move, Russ.
This is rodeo.
You don't know fear till you've sat on the back of a 5,000-pound bull.
Oh, yeah? I dated Franklin for three hours.
Yeah, you win.
Good news.
Remember that priceless gold belt buckle - that Rodeo Russ told me to cherish forever? - Yeah.
I melted it down with a blowtorch and got 7,000 bucks.
That means we're going to Nationals.
Yee-ha! What was that? Oh, no, it's really fun.
You gotta try it.
We're going to Nationals! ALL: Yee-ha! - He was right.
- That is fun.

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