Garfield and Friends (1988) s06e02 Episode Script

The Wright Stuff/Safe at Home/Orson Express

- (Announcer) Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and friends. (drumroll)
- We're - We're
- Ready - Ready
- To - to
- Party!
We're ready to party we're ready ♪
I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪
Come on in come to the place where fun never ends ♪
Come on in it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Dancing, fiesta
Romancing, siesta
Samba, la bamba, ay caramba
Disguises, disguises
Surprises, surprises
And pies of-- and pies of all sizes ♪
Come on in come to the place where fun never ends ♪
Come on in it's time to party ♪
With Garfield and Friends
Come on in it's time to party ♪
With Garfield and Friends
Garfield and Friends
- (Garfield) Today's show is inspected for your safety
by number 29.
Although experts disagree, many people believe that
television was invented in the year 1925 by Scottish
electronics expert, John Logey Baird.
He would've invented it in 1924,
but the cable installer was late.
- Ach, this is it, the first picture ever transmitted
over the wires.
What will it be?
- And now this word from our sponsor.
- Throughout history every great inventor of anything
was inspired by a cat.
Want more proof?
Right here.
The year was 1853,
and inventor Elisha Otis lived in a 37-story building.
Every day he had to carry his cat up the stairs,
then down the stairs.
Then up the stairs, then down the stairs.
Then, oop. (thumping)
Sounds like another down.
Finally, the stair-struck Mr. Otis had an idea,
and within three weeks, he had invented the elevator.
32nd floor, Elisha, and don't stop at the mezzanine.
Yes, every great invention in history has had something
to do with a cat, which brings us to this famous feline,
McKinley by name.
And to tell you the tale of his great invention,
we have to go back to the year 1903.
Cue the flashback.
And the city of Kittyhawk, North Carolina.
Everything was up to date in Kittyhawk.
The traveling tent shows had just brought them an amazing
new invention from New York.
They were called moving pictures,
and people were absolutely amazed at the magic of them,
especially two local brothers.
Their names were Orville and Wilbur Wright.
- Pictures that move.
I can scarcely believe the miracle.
- It's the miracle of human ingenuity, my brother.
Man can do whatever he puts his mind to.
- You think it is possible that one day
man will be able to fly?
- Why not?
If the birds can do it, surely man can find a way.
- And so a notion was born.
One which excited Orville and Wilbur,
but didn't do a whole lot for Orville's cat.
- I have to go meet Wilbur to work on the invention, bye.
- Ahem, breakfast.
I'd like a dish of hot cereal.
I'll settle for cold cereal.
Look at this, puppy.
The man's cat goes hungry, and how does he spend his time?
Trying to invent a flying machine.
Who in the world is dumb enough to think
that a flying machine is even possible?
See, even then dogs had creamed corn in their heads
where brains might otherwise be.
And every day, with hardly an hour off to sleep,
Wilbur and Orville worked on their plane.
- Looks like she's ready for another test.
Fire that propeller thing up.
(rotating propeller)
Looks like the throttle needs oiling
and the tail rudder needs to be latched down.
- Absolutely correct.
Also, I can't be sure, but it seems like the propeller
is on backwards.
- Mm hm, yeah, I'll take a look at that too.
- For weeks, months even, Orville and Wilbur worked
on their flying machine, and during that time,
did Orville's cat get a decent meal?
- At last, supper.
- We're testing it again today.
- How 'bout roast beef?
Or Italian food?
- Wilbur thinks he has the rudder problem solved.
- Tuna, tuna would be nice.
- Keep your eyes on us, we're gonna make history.
- Meatloaf, I'll settle for meatloaf.
(bang) I wish they'd hurry
and invent the microwave.
- Orville and Wilbur continued to work
on their flying machine, and things were going quite well.
Unless, of course, you count the fact that it didn't fly.
One afternoon, as they gave up for the day,
and possibly forever, the cat got an idea.
He packed a lunch, and then he and the puppy snuck out
to the flying machine.
- Let's find out for ourselves if this contraption
is a waste of their time and our lunches.
Come on, let's get this over with.
What do we have to do before we start?
(clears throat)
Come on, let's go.
What else does he want?
My seat is in an upright position.
Let's move it.
I hate these delays.
(clanks) (sigh)
- Wilbur, the cat is trying to fly the airplane.
- So what, it doesn't work, you know that.
- But the cat weighs less than either of us.
- Wait, hold it, time out.
(roaring propellers)
- Cat, get out of our airplane.
- Right this minute!
Stop! - No, stop!
- (Orville) You stop.
- I'm more than willing to entertain suggestions
on how to do that.
Stop it. - Stop that airplane.
- Stop that airplane.
We're trapped.
- I don't like this, I don't like this.
- Look, Wilbur, our plane is flying.
Well, sort of.
- And so the cat became the first
non-flying creature to fly.
But that wasn't all.
In short order, he invited the in-flight meal.
- This is the worst food I've ever eaten.
And such small portions.
Uh oh, I think I'm about to invent the crash landing.
- Well, that's pretty much the story of McKinley the cat.
Wilbur and Orville were delighted
that their flying machine
had been success- fully test flown.
Somehow, over the years, they got the credit,
but McKinley didn't care.
He got his reward.
Today, the airline industry thrives.
The modern plane is swift, and equipped
with the latest computerized supersonic equipment.
But you know something?
The food still stinks.
(jazzy piano music)
I hate Mondays.
Boy, do I hate Mondays.
I need something to cheer me up.
Great, I'll kick Odie off the table.
That'll cheer me up.
(drum roll)
Hm, even gravity has it in for me today.
(upbeat music)
(bicycle bell rings)
- Package for you, Mrs. Chicken.
Sign here please.
You're welcome.
Okay, that was my last stop.
Anything happen while I was gone, Booker?
- I watched the paint on your sign dry.
That's about all the excitement I could take, Orson.
- You talk like delivering the mail
isn't an interesting job.
- Well, I don't wanna be a mailman.
I wanna be--
- Not a ninja again.
- A ninja.
Hi-ya, hee ye, hu, hi.
- Booker, there's not a lot of call for ninjas these days.
- Well, there's not a lot of call for mailmen either.
- Oh no, well here comes a customer right now.
- You deliver packages?
- Orson Express at your service, sir.
Our motto, Booker?
- Ah, do I have to?
- Yes.
- (Both) We'll have it there in half a day or not one penny
do you pay, and if we should deliver late,
you'll get a gift that's really great.
- Now let me see if I got this right.
If you don't deliver this by six, I don't pay?
And I get a free gift?
- That is correct, sir.
- Well, you send it off then, sonny.
- See, a customer.
Business isn't so bad.
- Where does the package go?
- Oh, we just have to deliver it to Rufus T Crab, oh no.
- You mean Hermit Crab, the old guy who lives
out in the boonies?
- Must be.
Come on with me, Booker.
Here's your chance to see how exciting
the mail delivery business can be.
- I'd still rather be a ninja.
- I keep telling you, there are no jobs for ninjas.
- Don't be silly.
Who's gonna tell a ninja they won't hire him?
- Well, you may have a point.
- Hey, this Hermit Crab guy, no one's seen him in how long?
- Oh, since they canceled I Love Lucy.
He took it real hard.
Big Fred Mertz fan.
What's the address?
- 1734 Recluse Lane.
- Let's see, the house must be down here a little.
- (Booker) Look out!
Whoa! - Whoa!
- Where was the house?
- I don't get it.
We drove all the way down Recluse Lane
and we didn't pass a single house.
Unless, unless, Booker, remember that last tree we passed?
- Yeah.
- Well, I'm afraid that tree is the tallest tree
in the whole countryside and at the top of that tree,
(quirky music)
- The home of Hermit Crab.
Boy, I'll bet he doesn't get a lot of door-to-door salesmen.
Well, let's go home.
- What do you mean let's go home?
We have a package to deliver.
- Up there?
- Up there.
Come on, think of it as a challenge.
Think of it as an adventure.
(vicious barking)
- Think of it as a way to get chopped up by a big dog.
You sure you wouldn't rather be a ninja?
- No.
Big dog seems to be gone.
- Like we oughta be.
- Quiet, the package must get to Mr. Crab by six.
Okay, I'll climb.
You go find a good place to stand guard.
- How about at home, outside the barn?
- Shush.
There we go.
(mean laugh)
Uh oh, whoa!
- Still time to enlist in the Ninja Corp.
- No, my mistake was not using these metal cleats.
They're what linemen use for climbing telephone poles.
Just have a little confidence in me, that's all I ask.
- I have confidence in you.
I have absolute total confidence in you, Orson.
- Hey, these foot cleats are great.
Look at this, Booker.
I can even stand up with them.
Whoa! (thud)
(evil laugh)
- Do the words, giving up, mean anything to you?
- No, and I don't wanna join the Ninja's either.
- That was my next question.
- I am going to deliver that package
and I'm gonna deliver it by six.
Here we go, a weather balloon and a tank of helium.
You know what these add up to?
- Yeah, a lot farther to fall next time.
- Stand back.
(evil laugh)
Well, it's almost six.
I guess I failed.
- I told you that an hour ago.
- What really puzzles me is how that dog got up there.
- Oh, he probably took the elevator.
- Elevator?
- Sure, on the other side of the tree.
- This, this was here all along, and you didn't tell me?
- No, I just found it.
- I have one minute to make my delivery.
Come on, come on.
Here it is, I can still make it.
(growls) Uh oh.
Ah, good dog.
(growling) (thumping)
(doorbell chimes)
- 6:01, looks like you don't get paid.
- You, you sent this package to yourself?
- Oh, this ain't for me, it's for Rufus T Crab.
I'm Michael Crab.
- Then who is--
- Rufus here is my puppy.
There boy, here's your birthday present.
It's a brand new chew toy.
- Don't say anything.
No, don't talk.
If an actor speaks on an episode, you have to pay him.
Union rule.
Here, take this back to the dairy.
Tell 'em we didn't like it.
It was too sweet.
And don't say anything.
We don't wanna have to pay you either.
Hey, you save money where you can.
- Now as you may be aware, Mr. Arbuckle,
there's a cat burglar operating in this neighborhood.
- I heard.
- Mr. Arbuckle, supposing you came home one day
and found your house ransacked?
- Oh, that happens twice a week.
It means my cat is hungry.
- Alright, what if you're asleep at night
and a sound wakes you up?
Do you ever wonder what it is?
- Oh no, I know what it is.
It's my cat having a midnight snack.
- One more try.
Supposing a huge, angry-looking man was pounding
on your door, and--
- Oh, that'd be a neighbor complaining that my cat
had eaten his dinner or his breakfast or probably both.
- In case you change your mind, my card.
You don't scare easily.
- Not with Garfield in the house.
(suspenseful music)
- Shh, I gotta shut this dog up.
- Oh, what a night.
I kept dreaming about that silly home security salesman.
Imagine thinking I-I-I-
I've been robbed.
Garfield, we've been robbed.
They took everything.
- Everything?
They left the important stuff.
- Hello, get me the police.
No, get me Fluster's Security.
No, get me the police and Fluster's Security.
- Odie, you call yourself a watchdog
and you let this happen?
(muffled barking)
A likely story.
- Can you keep an extra eye on the house?
All I have left is my TV set.
- Probably didn't have time to get it.
But really, no cat burglar would hit the same house twice.
We'll catch him, don't worry.
- I am worried.
And I'm going to do something about it.
Mr. Fluster, install your security system.
Gimme the best system you have.
- Fine, you go to a movie, and when you get back,
your security system will be all installed.
- Okay.
- So long as no one steals the TV.
- When we get back,
we'll have the safest house in the world.
I should've done this years ago.
- You should've done this yesterday.
- That was a great movie, and our home security system
should be all installed by now.
- Didn't you get any popcorn?
Here, you can have those little pieces that get caught
in your teeth.
- This house protected by Fluster Security Systems.
And they posted a guard and everything.
- Halt, no one gets by without the password.
- Mr. Fluster, you're our guard?
- Well, we have a little shortage, so I'm filling in.
Anyway, what's the password?
- The password?
I didn't get any password.
How do I get a password?
- The man who sold you the system is supposed
to give you the password.
- But you're the man who sold me the system.
- Well then, you have a problem, don't you?
- I come back to get the TV and what do I find?
A Fluster security system.
(laughs) Easiest things
in the world to bypass.
- You can tell me the password.
I own the house.
- You must think I was born yesterday to fall for that.
- Come on, pup, I have a pizza in there
in need of microwaving.
- There are three rules of security, Mr. Arbuckle.
Rule number one, nobody gets in without the password.
- But you never told me the password.
- Rule number two, keep all passwords secret.
- How much more secret could it be?
- And rule number three, obey all rules.
- We'll go in the back way.
(alarm rings)
You stall it, whatever it is.
- We have a security breach.
Don't worry, I'll investigate.
- This is my chance to get inside.
Help, help, someone, Mr. Fluster.
- We have to lose this security thingy whatever it is.
Remember the living statues bit, Odie?
- Uh huh.
- I'm coming, I'm coming.
Help, help.
The seven J robotic sentry may be deactivated
by entering the password.
Mr. Arbuckle, what's the password?
- He's asking me?
- Whoa!
- What a cinch.
- That's the cat burglar and he's taking our TV.
Could you at least leave it until after Saturday morning?
My show's on.
- Nobody's stoppin' me from gettin' away with this set.
- You're just lucky you didn't hurt this TV, fella,
or you could've been in big trouble.
- He's telling us where all the stuff he stole is.
You should get all your property back, Mr. Arbuckle.
- Thank you, officer.
- We ripped most of the security system out, Mr. Arbuckle.
Thanks, guys.
(pants) - Come on.
Let's go in and watch the late movie, Odie.
It's a Godzilla film and he steps on a lot of people.
- You're right, Mr. Arbuckle, this smaller security system
will be better for your home.
See that button there?
Just be real careful when you press that baby.
- You mean like this?
(sirens blaring)
- Just some neighbors yelling.
Turn up the sound.
- In order to release this,
we have to punch in the password.
- Well, what's the password?
- There are three rules.
Rule number one, no one gets in without the password.
- Tell me the password.
- Rule number two, keep all passwords secret.
(upbeat music)
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