Gentefied (2020) s01e02 Episode Script
Bail Money
1 Today the bickering stops, the era of excuses is over, the law-abiding citizens of our country have made their voices heard.
Never again should Washington put politics and party above law and order.
From this day forward, let us put partisanship behind us, and let us go forward Democrats, Republicans and independents, law enforcement, community leaders Erik.
I never want to see you here! OK? Do you hear me? to roll back this awful I'm not doing this with my grandson.
and reduce crime in our country.
We have the tools now.
Let us get about the business of using them.
One of the reasons that I sought this office is to get this Let's go! because if the American people do not feel safe on their streets I ran on a very simple slogan: Make America Great Again.
If you're going to have drugs pouring across the border, if you're going to have human traffickers pouring across the border in areas where we have no protection, in areas where we don't have a barrier, then it is very hard to make America great again.
But we've done a fantastic job.
But we haven't been given the equipment.
We haven't been given the Who arrests an old man for having a beer? You broke a window, Pop? - Only protesters and 13-year olds do that.
- Mm-hm.
Yes, well, maybe it's because I'm trying to make a point.
Funny guy.
Well, your point's gonna cost us four grand, Abuelo.
So unless you got it a stack of cash in the chicken coop somewhere, I don't know where we're gonna get this money.
No, no, no, the chickens would tear it up for their nests.
Call the güero.
Call the güero.
He will lend us the money.
What are you talking about? Chris can't even pay rent.
What, you think he has a 4K stacked away in a pair of his kitchen Crocs or some shit? No, I'm gonna call - the bail bonds, and we'll find a - Are you crazy? I'm not giving another cent to one of those bail bonds.
And you know why.
It's better than owing Chris.
He'll charge us interest and fucking truffle oil and caviar.
Shit.
I already asked him.
He has some money saved.
Call him.
- When'd you ask him for money? - Yesterday.
The money for Rob.
The rent.
We made a deal.
Are you serious, Don Corleone? What the fuck? We don't need his help! Look at me, cabrón! Right now is not the time for your fucking pride! I slept on plastic chairs.
I need my orthopedic pillows! Get me out of here! You shouldn't be here in the first place.
Doesn't make any sense.
Don't tell anyone I'm in jail.
Not even Ana.
If someone finds out, I'll be the damn gossip of the whole town.
What's up, y'all? So, my mom went all Soraya Montenegro on me and threw away my paints, so I'm in need of restock ASAP.
Look, I was gonna ask for donations, but taking free shit feels wrong to my child-of-immigrant ass, so we're gonna just barter, and it do it like our ancestors, yeah? Look, I will God, I will paint your huaraches, your ollas, your your friggin' babies! Anything, just hook me up with some paints.
Just bring it to Plaza de las Margaritas any time today.
Peace out.
OK.
- Sup, bubblebutt! - Hey! Where's Pop? Ah He's sick.
He left me to handle shit.
- Huh.
- Hey, pa' que sepas, I'm the only one doing any work around here.
Well, damn he must be super sick then, 'cause he never takes the day off.
You know what? I'm gonna bring him some menudo, extra tripe.
No, don't.
He's hella contagious.
You don't want any part of that moco factory.
Aight, then I'll just get my free food then.
No, and tell him I said that tequila shots ain't real medicine.
- Sick, huh? - Yeah.
- What's wrong with him? - He'll be fine.
Yo, I gotta leave for a little bit, could you hold the place down? What the hell? Does Pop know you're taking all that money? I'll keep quiet for a price.
I like Gucci.
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Are you in trouble? I got a cousin in Tulum who can hide you, you just say the word, I'll make you disappear.
No, but that's good to know.
- Look, I love that you're so ride or die - Yeah.
Can you keep a secret? Kid! I come from a long line of Salvadorian guerrillas.
We invented secrets.
Pop's in jail and I don't have enough money to get him out.
Hey.
Son of a bitch.
And Chris? Maybe he can ask his dad or he has money.
No, no! We don't need him! I got this.
Okay.
Okay, fighter.
Don't go getting your ass kicked.
We can afford two of you in jail.
Just hold the place down til I get back, yeah? Okay.
Buenas, Pancho.
What's up, Erik? Come in.
Lidia.
I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak I lose all control And something takes o Shh.
Say hi, mija.
Hi.
Hey, how's your grandfather? Last night he got so drunk I can't even describe it! OK, Apá, I will see you for dinner.
- OK.
- Do you need me to bring anything? No, I'm good.
But if I need anything, I'll tell Erik to tell you at the ultrasound.
What? Ultrasound? Oh, I don't think I was invited.
Wait, but el papi needs to be there for every appointment, right, mija? Sure, Papá.
But I think Erik is busy doing something else, right? Nah.
So 4p.
m.
, you can make it, right? - Of course.
- ÿS� And the cabrón won't be late! He'll be there.
Look, seriously, you really don't have to come.
I want to.
OK.
I'll text you the address.
Pancho Pancho, I don't know how to say this.
I came over 'cause - I need to ask you for a favor.
- Just Yo, yo sé, mijo.
OK, I've been waiting for this.
Go ahead.
- You've been waiting for what? - Just for you to be a man and finally ask for her hand, pendejo.
Oh shit.
No, no, no, no, that's not what I meant.
I didn't You know that I love you, OK? I've seen you grow up.
But my daughter, she's beautiful, OK? She's brilliant.
And you're a good kid, I'll give you that, but my daughter, she's - Too good for me.
- She's too good for anyone, if you ask me.
Wait, hold on, but you want me to marry her? Well, she picked you, so I guess, yeah.
And now you're having a baby, which is fine, because I thought I'd never gonna be a grandfather.
Pancho, I want to be her man, but No! No, no, no! She doesn't need a man, OK? She's an independent woman.
A feminist! Oh, I know, but I don't think she wa You know, sometimes I have to open her jars.
- What? - You know, she needs someone to help her open her jars.
Why aren't you helping her open her jars, Erik? I wanna help her open her jars.
Then what in the hell are you waiting for, dummy? Marry her, pendejo! Be a man.
And then you're gonna have to commit and play like a team.
You know, como las Chivas.
You know, when the defense communicate with the offense and then, goal! You understand me, right? I think so.
But Anything else? If not, get your butt outta here.
You have to go to work.
You have to feed that baby.
Ã"rale, chingale.
Right.
Sure, uh - back to work.
- Yup.
Let's do it.
Be like the Chivas and get to work.
And feed the baby.
Yup.
- Good.
- Got it.
- Be a man.
- Vámonos.
Ã"rale.
ÃÂndale.
I can't with this little fucker.
Hey fools, if you got any jobs, paying ones, slide into the DMs.
Pero nothing pervy, OK? Don't fuck around! Hey, cutie.
- What's up? - Oh my god, what are you doing here? Ah He's president of her fan club.
Sure, why not? Listen, one of my clients is friends with Ernesto Yerena.
You know him? - The artist? - Yeah, for sure, that guy's the shit.
Mm-hm.
Well, he's looking for an apprentice.
Paid.
And I pulled in a favor for him to come down here and meet you today.
- What? - Uh-huh.
Babe, oh my god, you're everything! Uh Yes, tell him to roll through whenever! Yes! Mmm! OK, he can roll through, but after you paint me, like, a big ass J-Lo right here.
Girl, you paying.
With pupusas! Aye! Pick up the pace, guys.
Got my nuts in a vice, here.
Replate this, Felix.
I need a beer to squash the urge to punch him in the face.
Right, I know.
It's crazy.
What's going on? We're gonna go get some beers after work, huh? Oh, right on.
Where you going? We're going to a Mexican bar.
Mexicans only.
Sorry, bro.
Well, yeah, but isn't he Venezuelan? Yeah, but in LA, we're all Mexicans, guey.
A huevo! You know, that's fine.
- Yo.
- Hey.
Pop's in jail.
Hilarious.
What do you want? - No, I'm serious, he needs bail money.
- Oh, my God.
OK, I'll leave right now! If you leave now that idiot will have a bitch fit.
Two.
I want to come down, but my chef is on one today.
Hold up, hold up, hold up, I'm sorry.
I thought I just heard you say you want to leave Pops in jail - so you can make rice? - Can you just come down and get the debit card? Or I can - I can pay online.
- Oh yeah, sure, there's Venmo, PayPal, Google Wallet motherfucker, will you just get your ass down here? Just come get the card.
Hello? Hello? Motherfucker.
I fucking love Ana, man.
Is she still gay? Or not? Where's this bail bonds? I feel like we walked to Bakersfield already.
I don't understand why don't you just hit up your sugar mama? - Bitch, I don't got no sugar mama.
- Come on, man.
- First name Lidia, last - Finish that sentence and I swear I'm gonna knock you out.
Damn bro, you need a sound bath.
But your hostility makes sense though, your granddaddy, that fool who raised your ass is now in jail.
But now you're gonna be a daddy, but you need bail money for your granddaddy so you can make it to the ultrasound so you can be a good dad now.
Shakespearean, bro.
Motherfucker, just call Sarita already.
Hello, mamacita, chulita mamacita.
You're lost again, aren't you? Yeah, I'm lost again, babe.
So you gonna hook up my boy or what? Does he have any collateral? She's gonna need some collateral money, fool.
- 401K, a car note.
- My kidney, my fucking first born.
I don't got any of that shit.
No collateral, no money.
She said, "No collateral, no money.
" I thought you said you had a hookup.
- I'm watching a telenovela over here.
- Oh, I love telenovelas! It's his girl.
No, their love is nothing like ours.
She don't even want him.
Can we get back to the collateral thing? - I got a truck.
- He got a truck.
Yeah.
That busted ass truck, the one you saw me last time.
The one You gotta hold that door when you make a left and shit.
OK.
She said no.
Sorry bro, no deal.
There's always Lidia, homie.
No.
I got this.
Hey.
Mira Erik, soy Capitán Latino América.
What's your superpower? Eating platano at the speed of light? What? Can I talk to you for a sec? - Listen.
- Mm-hm.
I need to borrow 4K.
Oh yeah! Cool, cool, yeah.
Let me just hit up my leprechaun, - he slings over on Soto.
- I'm serious.
Does anybody owe you any money? Does your mom have any savings? Erik, hello? It's me, Ana! Your brokeass cousin.
What's this for? Are you OK? - Alright, don't freak out, OK? - Mm-hmm.
- Pop's in jail.
- What? What for? Driving while Mexican? I told him to stop blasting those Rancheras.
- Everything cool? - Everything's fine.
- No, Pop's in jail.
- What? Is he OK? Was he playing Lucha Villa again? I told him not to do that.
I pulled you aside for a reason.
Pop doesn't want anyone knowing his business.
We're all family here.
Chuy! Do not tell anyone, OK? Of course not! Only Javier.
And Norma.
And Panchito because he's also in the Facebook group.
- At least tell us what he did.
- Fine.
He got drunk and busted some windows.
What? What is he, 13? Bail's four grand, and I only have a few hundred.
- OK, what do we do? - It's OK, baby, don't worry.
I know some non-profits Oh, perfect, I'm sure he won't mind waiting six months to get out.
At least I'm providing solutions.
- What are you running with? Platano jokes? - Babe, babe, babe, he's right.
I don't want Pop to be in there one more night.
Did you try Chris? I called him this morning, but he won't leave work, he You've known since this morning and you're barely telling me! - Hey, hey, hey! Relax, relax, relax! - Pop didn't want you to know.
Con permiso.
I can lend you some money.
I just need a little collateral.
Latin Captain America to the rescue! Here you go, amigo! Two G's! Uh Take care of my grandma's bicycle! Please motherfucker, you just blew out the speaker.
What about Ernesto? - Please, look, if you can you just - My god, Ana.
stall for me, please? Look we're just gonna get to Chris and then I'll be right back.
No.
We're not using that fool.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Are we gonna pay Pop's bill with bong water? Mm.
Please, love, please, I promise.
You're so cute when you lie.
I'll be right Te lo prometo.
I'll be right back.
Don't be mad.
I love you, Chula! Hurry up.
I'm coming.
Don't worry, dog.
We brought the Grey Poupon as requested.
Hey chulito, Chavo del Ocho.
Remember, we're asking Chris to do us a solid, here.
- Come on.
- Chale.
- Give me all your money! - Ana! What are you No, no! That's for table five! Mm.
Excellent taste.
Tell them I said thanks and "Pip pip, cheerio!" Yo! Why did y'all why did y'all take so long, man, I was worried.
- Yeah.
- Hold on, let me get the money.
Come on.
Come on, come on.
Did y'all talk to him, is he OK? Oh yeah, he's great.
Great! El Chapo showed him how to dig a tunnel to Dodger Stadium and they're blood brothers now.
Good times.
OK, OK, OK, chill out.
I told your ass to come hours ago.
Look, Erik's just being an asshole.
- Ignore him.
- Asshole? Assholes deep fry goat cheese while their family rots in jail.
People would kill to work for Chef Austin, alright? I'm not gonna blow my shot just because Pop got all intimate with Jose Cuervo.
Hey, Chef I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck can suck a dick.
Family comes first, dude.
That's right! The reason we're all here.
- Right? - Yeah.
Can I have your debit card? Hang on.
Give me a sec.
No more of that dick swinging contest while I'm gone.
Hello? Just relax, alright? Pop will understand.
Understand? No, you need to understand about family Ah, my man.
You forgot the crates again, homes.
Oh no, sir, Chef, I I got it.
I'm gonna make sure that he takes them.
Don't worry.
Yeah, well, if it happens again, I'll be billing you for storage.
OK, ese? For sure, vato.
I got distracted by all my drive-bys.
That's the motherfucker whose nuts are all up in your chin? Yeah, Erik.
Three Michelin star balls I'm trying to keep warm until I get to Paris, okay? Now y'all gotta go.
Fuck you very much.
He your cousin? Yeah.
Maybe you are Mexican.
Thanks, Felix.
Just give me the money, please.
Just give me the money.
Relax, homie! Relax.
We don't want to scare the locals.
Not sure if you've noticed, but to the whites you look likeDanny Trejo's illegitimate son.
Minus the donut empire.
What the fuck? Look at this.
- God damn.
- Where'd he get all this money from? Hi there! Use your white voice.
- Huh? - Use your white voice.
Are you guys looking for the Mexican market? Uh Just need some cash.
We're passing out hundreds to homeless for viral videos.
We're influencers.
Yeah, does WorldStar have influencers now? Huh? - Lollipop? - No, I don't want any, but I'd love some kombucha.
He's on keto, but I'm not.
Hm.
Can I see your ID? Isn't that what the PIN's for? Yes, but - Talk to him.
- OK.
Listen, hun, um our abuelo' s in jail, OK, and this is our cousin's card, but unfortunately he can't be here.
He's at work right now.
Ya sabes.
Mateo, familia.
Ayúdame ÿno? Queer solidarity.
I don't speak Spanish.
Can I see the card? Here you go.
- What the fuck is keto? - I don't know.
It's just the first thing that came into my mind.
- What? No, come on man, what the fuck, - Wait, is that really necessary? Please! We confiscate stolen cards.
Bank policy.
Who said anything about stealing? Leave now or I'll have to call the police.
- Gracias.
- Oh, now you speak Spanish.
Here.
No, no! Take all your stupid candy.
Pendejo! I am so sorry.
We haven't found the money yet.
Can he meet tomorrow? Damn it, Ana, he's already here.
I know, I know, I saidI'm so sorry.
Look, tell him about how much I love his work.
Just go get Pop.
- We'll talk later.
- OK, I love you so mu Babe? Ba Well.
I'm sorry you missed that meeting with that famous art guy.
It's cool.
I got a gig face painting a kid's party.
You do? Face Painting? What kind of benefits do they got? - Gummy Bears? - Yes, bitch.
Face Painting! OK? You sling tacos for a living.
Hey, I'm just saying.
- Oh shit.
Hey yo, what's good? - Yo, - Who is it? - I got some guy that got a hookup with some money.
Fuck yes! - That's what's up.
- Where? First, we gotta catch the 18 to the 665 San Bernardino line to the 68.
Woah, woah, San Bernardino? - What the f Why? - Oh, he lives in Fontana! - Fontana? What the - Yeah, man.
The IE, baby, where the EDM parties are bumpin'! He's a booker.
- He can hook it up for an exchange.
- Exchange for what? Too many questions, fool.
Meet me at the metro, fool.
Damn.
IE's a bitch.
I'm not gonna make it back on time to meet up with Lidia.
Can you go? I'm sorry, cuz.
I gotta go work at the bar.
Pancho's fed upwith my late ass and my mom is gonna chop my head off cartel-style if I get fired.
Babe Please, please, don't leave Pop in jail.
- I won't.
- OK? Love you.
Go on, get out of here.
This one here? All right, thank you.
I'm here! I'm here! Hey! Thankyou! Hey! Am I early? I asked Stefan if we could get a video of the sonogram next time.
We? Well, yeah, you know, we.
The Royal We.
Me.
The tech.
The hospital.
The world.
And me? I mean, if you want.
I'm sure the baby would like it.
I know I'd like it.
Hey.
Everything OK? - What's wrong? - Fuck, man.
- Pops is in jail and I can't get him out.
- What? Look, Erik.
Why didn't you come to me sooner? Because I'm a grown-ass man.
I should be able to handle this shit on my own.
Erik, stop.
God, I love Pops too, you know.
Look, I got you always.
OK? Hey, did you get the money? Is Pop OK? Yup, we got it handled.
- Did he get a teardrop tattoo? - Don't worry about it.
We don't need you.
Nobody touched your precious money.
Just keep warming up the Michelin balls.
Wait, what does that mean? Did you get the bail money or not? Hey, güero! Do you like beer or not? We'll let you pay.
Don't be scared papa, let's go! Where's Salma? What's that? Be careful! Be careful! It's fine! It's fine! - I'm not a cow.
- Oh! I'm not a cow, mijo.
What'd you eat inside there, you're heavier.
- Pues, ándale.
- Ya, ya, ya.
Sorry.
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
Oh, no.
I burned a bridge with Ernesto for you.
Those chocolates better be made of gold.
Are those gold tacos? No.
Acapulco gold.
Mmm.
Please.
That'll do.
- Get in here.
- Yes! I saw Chris' bank account.
Why am I paying rent and he's not? Because he has a dream.
Because he's going to be a grand chef and I'm going to help him get there.
Help him? What about me? What about you? Everything I've done for you all these years counts for nothing? He should be helping you - with the shop.
- Ah.
It doesn't matter.
That damn landlord is gonna evict us.
He's not.
We have a lease! Pop! When have you given up so easily? I'm not giving up.
I'm not giving up.
I can't.
If I gave up on the shop, what else would you have? What do you mean? I have a lot.
A lot? Shit.
Sorry.
Hey.
Welcome home, Abuelo.
I heard you made friends with El Chapo.
Yeah, lots of friends.
Go to bed.
That's it? That was a weird hug.
Love you.
Nobody likes you Nobody cares Nobody wants you Nobody cares To extend a greeting aid Connecting lands Life is just a jaded game to them They won't give it a chance But you know when I know That the galaxies are all around us And life will flow on as long as the grass grows and the water runs And while I'm here on earth I'll rejoice in this world Cause Freedom is free
Never again should Washington put politics and party above law and order.
From this day forward, let us put partisanship behind us, and let us go forward Democrats, Republicans and independents, law enforcement, community leaders Erik.
I never want to see you here! OK? Do you hear me? to roll back this awful I'm not doing this with my grandson.
and reduce crime in our country.
We have the tools now.
Let us get about the business of using them.
One of the reasons that I sought this office is to get this Let's go! because if the American people do not feel safe on their streets I ran on a very simple slogan: Make America Great Again.
If you're going to have drugs pouring across the border, if you're going to have human traffickers pouring across the border in areas where we have no protection, in areas where we don't have a barrier, then it is very hard to make America great again.
But we've done a fantastic job.
But we haven't been given the equipment.
We haven't been given the Who arrests an old man for having a beer? You broke a window, Pop? - Only protesters and 13-year olds do that.
- Mm-hm.
Yes, well, maybe it's because I'm trying to make a point.
Funny guy.
Well, your point's gonna cost us four grand, Abuelo.
So unless you got it a stack of cash in the chicken coop somewhere, I don't know where we're gonna get this money.
No, no, no, the chickens would tear it up for their nests.
Call the güero.
Call the güero.
He will lend us the money.
What are you talking about? Chris can't even pay rent.
What, you think he has a 4K stacked away in a pair of his kitchen Crocs or some shit? No, I'm gonna call - the bail bonds, and we'll find a - Are you crazy? I'm not giving another cent to one of those bail bonds.
And you know why.
It's better than owing Chris.
He'll charge us interest and fucking truffle oil and caviar.
Shit.
I already asked him.
He has some money saved.
Call him.
- When'd you ask him for money? - Yesterday.
The money for Rob.
The rent.
We made a deal.
Are you serious, Don Corleone? What the fuck? We don't need his help! Look at me, cabrón! Right now is not the time for your fucking pride! I slept on plastic chairs.
I need my orthopedic pillows! Get me out of here! You shouldn't be here in the first place.
Doesn't make any sense.
Don't tell anyone I'm in jail.
Not even Ana.
If someone finds out, I'll be the damn gossip of the whole town.
What's up, y'all? So, my mom went all Soraya Montenegro on me and threw away my paints, so I'm in need of restock ASAP.
Look, I was gonna ask for donations, but taking free shit feels wrong to my child-of-immigrant ass, so we're gonna just barter, and it do it like our ancestors, yeah? Look, I will God, I will paint your huaraches, your ollas, your your friggin' babies! Anything, just hook me up with some paints.
Just bring it to Plaza de las Margaritas any time today.
Peace out.
OK.
- Sup, bubblebutt! - Hey! Where's Pop? Ah He's sick.
He left me to handle shit.
- Huh.
- Hey, pa' que sepas, I'm the only one doing any work around here.
Well, damn he must be super sick then, 'cause he never takes the day off.
You know what? I'm gonna bring him some menudo, extra tripe.
No, don't.
He's hella contagious.
You don't want any part of that moco factory.
Aight, then I'll just get my free food then.
No, and tell him I said that tequila shots ain't real medicine.
- Sick, huh? - Yeah.
- What's wrong with him? - He'll be fine.
Yo, I gotta leave for a little bit, could you hold the place down? What the hell? Does Pop know you're taking all that money? I'll keep quiet for a price.
I like Gucci.
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Are you in trouble? I got a cousin in Tulum who can hide you, you just say the word, I'll make you disappear.
No, but that's good to know.
- Look, I love that you're so ride or die - Yeah.
Can you keep a secret? Kid! I come from a long line of Salvadorian guerrillas.
We invented secrets.
Pop's in jail and I don't have enough money to get him out.
Hey.
Son of a bitch.
And Chris? Maybe he can ask his dad or he has money.
No, no! We don't need him! I got this.
Okay.
Okay, fighter.
Don't go getting your ass kicked.
We can afford two of you in jail.
Just hold the place down til I get back, yeah? Okay.
Buenas, Pancho.
What's up, Erik? Come in.
Lidia.
I get so weak in the knees I can hardly speak I lose all control And something takes o Shh.
Say hi, mija.
Hi.
Hey, how's your grandfather? Last night he got so drunk I can't even describe it! OK, Apá, I will see you for dinner.
- OK.
- Do you need me to bring anything? No, I'm good.
But if I need anything, I'll tell Erik to tell you at the ultrasound.
What? Ultrasound? Oh, I don't think I was invited.
Wait, but el papi needs to be there for every appointment, right, mija? Sure, Papá.
But I think Erik is busy doing something else, right? Nah.
So 4p.
m.
, you can make it, right? - Of course.
- ÿS� And the cabrón won't be late! He'll be there.
Look, seriously, you really don't have to come.
I want to.
OK.
I'll text you the address.
Pancho Pancho, I don't know how to say this.
I came over 'cause - I need to ask you for a favor.
- Just Yo, yo sé, mijo.
OK, I've been waiting for this.
Go ahead.
- You've been waiting for what? - Just for you to be a man and finally ask for her hand, pendejo.
Oh shit.
No, no, no, no, that's not what I meant.
I didn't You know that I love you, OK? I've seen you grow up.
But my daughter, she's beautiful, OK? She's brilliant.
And you're a good kid, I'll give you that, but my daughter, she's - Too good for me.
- She's too good for anyone, if you ask me.
Wait, hold on, but you want me to marry her? Well, she picked you, so I guess, yeah.
And now you're having a baby, which is fine, because I thought I'd never gonna be a grandfather.
Pancho, I want to be her man, but No! No, no, no! She doesn't need a man, OK? She's an independent woman.
A feminist! Oh, I know, but I don't think she wa You know, sometimes I have to open her jars.
- What? - You know, she needs someone to help her open her jars.
Why aren't you helping her open her jars, Erik? I wanna help her open her jars.
Then what in the hell are you waiting for, dummy? Marry her, pendejo! Be a man.
And then you're gonna have to commit and play like a team.
You know, como las Chivas.
You know, when the defense communicate with the offense and then, goal! You understand me, right? I think so.
But Anything else? If not, get your butt outta here.
You have to go to work.
You have to feed that baby.
Ã"rale, chingale.
Right.
Sure, uh - back to work.
- Yup.
Let's do it.
Be like the Chivas and get to work.
And feed the baby.
Yup.
- Good.
- Got it.
- Be a man.
- Vámonos.
Ã"rale.
ÃÂndale.
I can't with this little fucker.
Hey fools, if you got any jobs, paying ones, slide into the DMs.
Pero nothing pervy, OK? Don't fuck around! Hey, cutie.
- What's up? - Oh my god, what are you doing here? Ah He's president of her fan club.
Sure, why not? Listen, one of my clients is friends with Ernesto Yerena.
You know him? - The artist? - Yeah, for sure, that guy's the shit.
Mm-hm.
Well, he's looking for an apprentice.
Paid.
And I pulled in a favor for him to come down here and meet you today.
- What? - Uh-huh.
Babe, oh my god, you're everything! Uh Yes, tell him to roll through whenever! Yes! Mmm! OK, he can roll through, but after you paint me, like, a big ass J-Lo right here.
Girl, you paying.
With pupusas! Aye! Pick up the pace, guys.
Got my nuts in a vice, here.
Replate this, Felix.
I need a beer to squash the urge to punch him in the face.
Right, I know.
It's crazy.
What's going on? We're gonna go get some beers after work, huh? Oh, right on.
Where you going? We're going to a Mexican bar.
Mexicans only.
Sorry, bro.
Well, yeah, but isn't he Venezuelan? Yeah, but in LA, we're all Mexicans, guey.
A huevo! You know, that's fine.
- Yo.
- Hey.
Pop's in jail.
Hilarious.
What do you want? - No, I'm serious, he needs bail money.
- Oh, my God.
OK, I'll leave right now! If you leave now that idiot will have a bitch fit.
Two.
I want to come down, but my chef is on one today.
Hold up, hold up, hold up, I'm sorry.
I thought I just heard you say you want to leave Pops in jail - so you can make rice? - Can you just come down and get the debit card? Or I can - I can pay online.
- Oh yeah, sure, there's Venmo, PayPal, Google Wallet motherfucker, will you just get your ass down here? Just come get the card.
Hello? Hello? Motherfucker.
I fucking love Ana, man.
Is she still gay? Or not? Where's this bail bonds? I feel like we walked to Bakersfield already.
I don't understand why don't you just hit up your sugar mama? - Bitch, I don't got no sugar mama.
- Come on, man.
- First name Lidia, last - Finish that sentence and I swear I'm gonna knock you out.
Damn bro, you need a sound bath.
But your hostility makes sense though, your granddaddy, that fool who raised your ass is now in jail.
But now you're gonna be a daddy, but you need bail money for your granddaddy so you can make it to the ultrasound so you can be a good dad now.
Shakespearean, bro.
Motherfucker, just call Sarita already.
Hello, mamacita, chulita mamacita.
You're lost again, aren't you? Yeah, I'm lost again, babe.
So you gonna hook up my boy or what? Does he have any collateral? She's gonna need some collateral money, fool.
- 401K, a car note.
- My kidney, my fucking first born.
I don't got any of that shit.
No collateral, no money.
She said, "No collateral, no money.
" I thought you said you had a hookup.
- I'm watching a telenovela over here.
- Oh, I love telenovelas! It's his girl.
No, their love is nothing like ours.
She don't even want him.
Can we get back to the collateral thing? - I got a truck.
- He got a truck.
Yeah.
That busted ass truck, the one you saw me last time.
The one You gotta hold that door when you make a left and shit.
OK.
She said no.
Sorry bro, no deal.
There's always Lidia, homie.
No.
I got this.
Hey.
Mira Erik, soy Capitán Latino América.
What's your superpower? Eating platano at the speed of light? What? Can I talk to you for a sec? - Listen.
- Mm-hm.
I need to borrow 4K.
Oh yeah! Cool, cool, yeah.
Let me just hit up my leprechaun, - he slings over on Soto.
- I'm serious.
Does anybody owe you any money? Does your mom have any savings? Erik, hello? It's me, Ana! Your brokeass cousin.
What's this for? Are you OK? - Alright, don't freak out, OK? - Mm-hmm.
- Pop's in jail.
- What? What for? Driving while Mexican? I told him to stop blasting those Rancheras.
- Everything cool? - Everything's fine.
- No, Pop's in jail.
- What? Is he OK? Was he playing Lucha Villa again? I told him not to do that.
I pulled you aside for a reason.
Pop doesn't want anyone knowing his business.
We're all family here.
Chuy! Do not tell anyone, OK? Of course not! Only Javier.
And Norma.
And Panchito because he's also in the Facebook group.
- At least tell us what he did.
- Fine.
He got drunk and busted some windows.
What? What is he, 13? Bail's four grand, and I only have a few hundred.
- OK, what do we do? - It's OK, baby, don't worry.
I know some non-profits Oh, perfect, I'm sure he won't mind waiting six months to get out.
At least I'm providing solutions.
- What are you running with? Platano jokes? - Babe, babe, babe, he's right.
I don't want Pop to be in there one more night.
Did you try Chris? I called him this morning, but he won't leave work, he You've known since this morning and you're barely telling me! - Hey, hey, hey! Relax, relax, relax! - Pop didn't want you to know.
Con permiso.
I can lend you some money.
I just need a little collateral.
Latin Captain America to the rescue! Here you go, amigo! Two G's! Uh Take care of my grandma's bicycle! Please motherfucker, you just blew out the speaker.
What about Ernesto? - Please, look, if you can you just - My god, Ana.
stall for me, please? Look we're just gonna get to Chris and then I'll be right back.
No.
We're not using that fool.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Are we gonna pay Pop's bill with bong water? Mm.
Please, love, please, I promise.
You're so cute when you lie.
I'll be right Te lo prometo.
I'll be right back.
Don't be mad.
I love you, Chula! Hurry up.
I'm coming.
Don't worry, dog.
We brought the Grey Poupon as requested.
Hey chulito, Chavo del Ocho.
Remember, we're asking Chris to do us a solid, here.
- Come on.
- Chale.
- Give me all your money! - Ana! What are you No, no! That's for table five! Mm.
Excellent taste.
Tell them I said thanks and "Pip pip, cheerio!" Yo! Why did y'all why did y'all take so long, man, I was worried.
- Yeah.
- Hold on, let me get the money.
Come on.
Come on, come on.
Did y'all talk to him, is he OK? Oh yeah, he's great.
Great! El Chapo showed him how to dig a tunnel to Dodger Stadium and they're blood brothers now.
Good times.
OK, OK, OK, chill out.
I told your ass to come hours ago.
Look, Erik's just being an asshole.
- Ignore him.
- Asshole? Assholes deep fry goat cheese while their family rots in jail.
People would kill to work for Chef Austin, alright? I'm not gonna blow my shot just because Pop got all intimate with Jose Cuervo.
Hey, Chef I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck can suck a dick.
Family comes first, dude.
That's right! The reason we're all here.
- Right? - Yeah.
Can I have your debit card? Hang on.
Give me a sec.
No more of that dick swinging contest while I'm gone.
Hello? Just relax, alright? Pop will understand.
Understand? No, you need to understand about family Ah, my man.
You forgot the crates again, homes.
Oh no, sir, Chef, I I got it.
I'm gonna make sure that he takes them.
Don't worry.
Yeah, well, if it happens again, I'll be billing you for storage.
OK, ese? For sure, vato.
I got distracted by all my drive-bys.
That's the motherfucker whose nuts are all up in your chin? Yeah, Erik.
Three Michelin star balls I'm trying to keep warm until I get to Paris, okay? Now y'all gotta go.
Fuck you very much.
He your cousin? Yeah.
Maybe you are Mexican.
Thanks, Felix.
Just give me the money, please.
Just give me the money.
Relax, homie! Relax.
We don't want to scare the locals.
Not sure if you've noticed, but to the whites you look likeDanny Trejo's illegitimate son.
Minus the donut empire.
What the fuck? Look at this.
- God damn.
- Where'd he get all this money from? Hi there! Use your white voice.
- Huh? - Use your white voice.
Are you guys looking for the Mexican market? Uh Just need some cash.
We're passing out hundreds to homeless for viral videos.
We're influencers.
Yeah, does WorldStar have influencers now? Huh? - Lollipop? - No, I don't want any, but I'd love some kombucha.
He's on keto, but I'm not.
Hm.
Can I see your ID? Isn't that what the PIN's for? Yes, but - Talk to him.
- OK.
Listen, hun, um our abuelo' s in jail, OK, and this is our cousin's card, but unfortunately he can't be here.
He's at work right now.
Ya sabes.
Mateo, familia.
Ayúdame ÿno? Queer solidarity.
I don't speak Spanish.
Can I see the card? Here you go.
- What the fuck is keto? - I don't know.
It's just the first thing that came into my mind.
- What? No, come on man, what the fuck, - Wait, is that really necessary? Please! We confiscate stolen cards.
Bank policy.
Who said anything about stealing? Leave now or I'll have to call the police.
- Gracias.
- Oh, now you speak Spanish.
Here.
No, no! Take all your stupid candy.
Pendejo! I am so sorry.
We haven't found the money yet.
Can he meet tomorrow? Damn it, Ana, he's already here.
I know, I know, I saidI'm so sorry.
Look, tell him about how much I love his work.
Just go get Pop.
- We'll talk later.
- OK, I love you so mu Babe? Ba Well.
I'm sorry you missed that meeting with that famous art guy.
It's cool.
I got a gig face painting a kid's party.
You do? Face Painting? What kind of benefits do they got? - Gummy Bears? - Yes, bitch.
Face Painting! OK? You sling tacos for a living.
Hey, I'm just saying.
- Oh shit.
Hey yo, what's good? - Yo, - Who is it? - I got some guy that got a hookup with some money.
Fuck yes! - That's what's up.
- Where? First, we gotta catch the 18 to the 665 San Bernardino line to the 68.
Woah, woah, San Bernardino? - What the f Why? - Oh, he lives in Fontana! - Fontana? What the - Yeah, man.
The IE, baby, where the EDM parties are bumpin'! He's a booker.
- He can hook it up for an exchange.
- Exchange for what? Too many questions, fool.
Meet me at the metro, fool.
Damn.
IE's a bitch.
I'm not gonna make it back on time to meet up with Lidia.
Can you go? I'm sorry, cuz.
I gotta go work at the bar.
Pancho's fed upwith my late ass and my mom is gonna chop my head off cartel-style if I get fired.
Babe Please, please, don't leave Pop in jail.
- I won't.
- OK? Love you.
Go on, get out of here.
This one here? All right, thank you.
I'm here! I'm here! Hey! Thankyou! Hey! Am I early? I asked Stefan if we could get a video of the sonogram next time.
We? Well, yeah, you know, we.
The Royal We.
Me.
The tech.
The hospital.
The world.
And me? I mean, if you want.
I'm sure the baby would like it.
I know I'd like it.
Hey.
Everything OK? - What's wrong? - Fuck, man.
- Pops is in jail and I can't get him out.
- What? Look, Erik.
Why didn't you come to me sooner? Because I'm a grown-ass man.
I should be able to handle this shit on my own.
Erik, stop.
God, I love Pops too, you know.
Look, I got you always.
OK? Hey, did you get the money? Is Pop OK? Yup, we got it handled.
- Did he get a teardrop tattoo? - Don't worry about it.
We don't need you.
Nobody touched your precious money.
Just keep warming up the Michelin balls.
Wait, what does that mean? Did you get the bail money or not? Hey, güero! Do you like beer or not? We'll let you pay.
Don't be scared papa, let's go! Where's Salma? What's that? Be careful! Be careful! It's fine! It's fine! - I'm not a cow.
- Oh! I'm not a cow, mijo.
What'd you eat inside there, you're heavier.
- Pues, ándale.
- Ya, ya, ya.
Sorry.
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
Oh, no.
I burned a bridge with Ernesto for you.
Those chocolates better be made of gold.
Are those gold tacos? No.
Acapulco gold.
Mmm.
Please.
That'll do.
- Get in here.
- Yes! I saw Chris' bank account.
Why am I paying rent and he's not? Because he has a dream.
Because he's going to be a grand chef and I'm going to help him get there.
Help him? What about me? What about you? Everything I've done for you all these years counts for nothing? He should be helping you - with the shop.
- Ah.
It doesn't matter.
That damn landlord is gonna evict us.
He's not.
We have a lease! Pop! When have you given up so easily? I'm not giving up.
I'm not giving up.
I can't.
If I gave up on the shop, what else would you have? What do you mean? I have a lot.
A lot? Shit.
Sorry.
Hey.
Welcome home, Abuelo.
I heard you made friends with El Chapo.
Yeah, lots of friends.
Go to bed.
That's it? That was a weird hug.
Love you.
Nobody likes you Nobody cares Nobody wants you Nobody cares To extend a greeting aid Connecting lands Life is just a jaded game to them They won't give it a chance But you know when I know That the galaxies are all around us And life will flow on as long as the grass grows and the water runs And while I'm here on earth I'll rejoice in this world Cause Freedom is free